


Seeing Through New Eyes

by Shira_Taka



Category: Boruto: Naruto Next Generations, Naruto
Genre: AU, Angst, Coming Out, Did I mention angst, Divorce, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Incest, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Lots of Angst, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Slow Burn, narusasunaru
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-10
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-07-29 05:37:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 161,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16257752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shira_Taka/pseuds/Shira_Taka
Summary: Naruto commemorates the finalization of his divorce by drinking alone in a bar.  He doesn't count on his head being turned by a gorgeous, acerbic man with sad eyes.  Sasuke is struggling--struggling to connect with the daughter he's barely acquainted with, struggling to learn how to adjust to a life that isn't characterized by constant danger, subterfuge, and sacrifice. He feels as fragile as fine porcelain, and a certain loud-mouthed blond is about as graceful as a bull in a china shop.





	1. Chapter 1

Naruto looked around the bar awkwardly before perching on a bar stool. The bar was almost deserted; a couple drunkenly fell together in some semblance of dancing near a speaker that droned with melancholy love songs. Another couple engaged in rapt conversation at the bar, their foreheads nearly touching. Naruto would have felt even more out of place than he did had a single man not sat alone two seats away from him at the bar, his head bowed in contemplation over his drink.

He couldn’t decide whether he liked the idea of a bar without a crowd or not. On one hand, it was nice not to worry that he might run into one of his or Hinata’s friends; on the other, crowds sometimes offered anonymity that a less populous environment could not.

_Can’t decide. How very out of character._

He grit his teeth in annoyance at his inner voice.

He waved the bartender down and asked for a beer. He had a whole new life to get used to; some alcohol to lubricate the shifting cogs could not go amiss.

He took a swig from his glass and grimaced. It was the worst beer he had ever tasted in his life, weak, lifeless, with the aftertaste of watermelon rind. He peered into the glass, dismayed to see some cloudy particulate settling at the bottom of the foaming beverage.

The bartender, sadly, was now at the opposite end of the bar, engaged in intimate conversation with the chatting couple Naruto had seen earlier.

“Hey,” he said, to the lone man sitting nearest him.

The man slowly turned his face towards Naruto, scowling as he did so. His facial expression gave Naruto pause, it was so forbidding and irritable. Not only that, Naruto realized that the man was actually shockingly… beautiful. His hair was so black that it was almost blue. Large, dark eyes peered from the most perfect skin Naruto had ever witnessed in person. His features were symmetrical and well-defined; he was the very definition of beauty.

“Did you have something to say?” the man asked him pointedly. Naruto blushed, aware that he’d been staring.

“Hey, are all their beers this miserable?” Naruto asked him, holding up the suspicious-looking beverage. “This is some grim shit.”

“I wouldn’t know,” the stranger answered. “I don’t drink beer.”

Naruto looked at the man’s glass—whiskey, neat.

“Looks like I’m not, tonight, either,” Naruto mumbled.

The corner of the man’s mouth quirked upwards.

“That’s what you get for actually ordering beer in a craft beer bar,” he said.

The joke took a moment to catch on, but when it did, Naruto laughed loudly.  
“Too bad it’s the only bar open on a Monday night in this town,” he said.

The man smirked again. “Hn. Too bad.”

Naruto turned dejectedly back to his disappointing beer. Soon, though, he was uncomfortably aware of being stared at. Glancing up, he noticed the dark haired man peering at him quizzically.

“Are you actually going to sit and drink that shit when you don’t want it?” he asked.

“Looks like the bartender is otherwise engaged,” Naruto replied, jerking his head towards the end of the bar where the bartender continued his discussion with the couple there.

The dark eyes narrowed. “You’re a patron. It’s his job to make sure his customers have what they need.”

“Meh,” Naruto murmured. “I don’t want to cause any trouble.”

The man rolled his eyes before swiveling around and clearing his throat loudly.

The bartender glanced towards the opposite end of the bar before continuing his conversation. To Naruto’s horror, the dark-eyed man raised his glass before lowering it loudly to the surface of the bar. The bartender immediately jerked his head up, straightening his back and glaring at the man.

He sauntered back over towards the man.

“Did you need something?” he snapped.

“One of your patrons finds this swill from the tap undrinkable,” the man answered smoothly. He swept Naruto’s beverage up and held it in front of the bartender’s face.

“That is an artisanal beer,” the bartender bit back. The bartender’s attitude hit Naruto the wrong way; his native temper flared up despite the reticence with which he’d come out. He would have snapped back, but the interplay between the handsome, dark-haired man and the pallid hipster behind the bar was riveting. The bartender glared at the man through narrowed eyes, or attempted to, anyway; the dark haired stranger held his gaze dispassionately. Naruto shuddered at the thought of those dark, intense eyes staring him down in defiance.

“Hn. Artisanal,” the man snorted derisively. “This is why some arts, rightfully, die.”

Naruto guffawed.

“Would you like anything else?” the bartender ground out.

“Ask him. He’s the one who was served what looks like day-old piss,” the man answered caustically, nodding his head at Naruto.

“Yes, sir?” the bartender asked irritably, turning his head towards Naruto.

The exchange had stirred something up inside of Naruto, pushing back his indecision and restoring his balance. “Gimme a scotch,” he said, “Neat. Oldest one you have.”

The bartender rolled his eyes before turning his back on Naruto and his companion to pour Naruto’s drink. He set it in front of Naruto resentfully before returning to the other end of the bar.

“Day-old piss,” Naruto chuckled as he downed the amber liquid hastily.

The man to his left raised one eyebrow and gave the ghost of a smirk. “Did you have a better description?”

Naruto laughed, feeling the liquor warm his belly. “That pretty well paints the picture.”

He felt irrationally proud when he caught the ghost of a smile flit over his new acquaintance’s features, then felt strangely bereft when the man turned his head away to focus on his own glass.

“Oi! Bartender!” Naruto barked. The bartender detached from his friends and sauntered lazily back towards Naruto.

“You ready for your tab?” he intoned.

“Tab? What the hell? No. I’ve had one drink, because that shit you put in front of me the first time didn’t count and you won’t be charging me for it. Bring me another scotch, and bring the gentleman to my left another of whatever he was having.”

He slid from his seat and took the one immediately to the right of the dark gentleman.

The man gave no sign of having noticed Naruto’s change in seating, continuing to stare down into his drink, his dark hair falling forward to obscure most of his face. Naruto studied him, noting how his hair naturally fell into spiky cowlicks despite looking incredibly silky. He could only see the man’s jawline from this angle, but he scrutinized it, nonetheless; he looked as if he had been chiseled out of marble by an exceptional sculptor. Naruto felt a pang of sadness as he realized that the man’s perfect lips were turned downward, which, paired with the man’s dark hair and his similarly black attire, gave him a tragic, melancholic air.

Throughout his life, Naruto had found himself drawn in over and over again by the sadness he found within others. It grounded him, preventing him from feeling singled out by his own difficulties, but it also had given him a sense of purpose. He had always sought to bring happiness to those he met. He had also worked, in his own way, to try to rid the world of sadness.

 _Been a bang-up success at that._ He winced as his inner critic exploited his Achilles’ Heel.

The bartender returned with his whiskey, which he downed as quickly has he had before. He couldn’t stand that voice, not tonight.

“I didn’t order this,” the man next to him spat, rousing Naruto from his mental self-flagellation.

“Your friend ordered it for you,” the hipster bartender huffed. “Take it up with him.”

Naruto felt the blood rise to his face as black eyes looked at him questioningly.

“Uh, thanks, you know, for sending that nasty beer back. I’m usually good at standing up for myself, but, I dunno, tonight’s weird...”

He gulped as the onyx eyes roamed over his face.

“You…” said the man, “are very bright.” The way he said it didn’t sound like a compliment.

“Uh, wow, that’s different,” Naruto laughed nervously. “No one’s ever accused me of being bright.”

“Not mentally, obviously,” the stranger drawled. “I mean, you are literally garish, from that preternatural shade of blond hair to that orange get-up you’re wearing. Do you have to wear that for your job? I’ve never seen anyone over the age of five wear that shade of orange.”

Naruto chuckled, feeling a bit tipsy. “Coming from Lord Bat the Goth Father, that’s pretty funny,” he jabbed, feeling proud of himself for the come-back. The black eyes continued to appraise him disinterestedly. “What’s your name, anyway? I mean, I can call you Lord Bat Goth Father all night, but it’s kind of a mouthful.”

“You won’t be calling me anything all night,” the man retorted icily. “One of the benefits of frequenting a bar on a Monday night is avoiding the companionship of drunken jack-o-lanterns.”

Naruto felt irritation building alongside fascination.

Without blinking, or shifting his gaze, he continued to stare into the obsidian eyes as he lifted his empty glass and shouted for the bartender once more.

“What’s your name?” Naruto asked again.

The man rolled his eyes. “Sasuke,” he answered after a long pause.

“Nice to meet you, Sasuke,” Naruto said, finding the syllables pleasant on his tongue.

“You’re drinking a lot, what’s-your-name,” Sasuke said, when Naruto’s refill arrived. “And you’re drinking fast. You should maybe ease up.”

“I don’t know what it is to you,” Naruto muttered. “And the name’s Naruto.”

Another smile ghosted across Sasuke’s beautiful face.

“Naruto? Are you serious? Are you named for the straits or for the fish cake?” he asked teasingly.

Naruto dispatched his third whiskey to the same swift fate as its predecessors.

“I don’t know. I’d ask my mom, but she died before I could talk.”

He winced as the words left his mouth. It didn’t sound as funny as he’d intended.

Sasuke’s eyes did not leave his face.

“What is a loud-mouth like you doing drinking alone on a Monday night, Na-ru-to?” he asked, drawing the syllables out in his deep, rich voice; the timbre seemed to tickle Naruto’s spine. Mentally, Naruto thanked Sasuke for redirecting the conversation from his unseemly joke.

He sighed and turned his empty glass over in his hand. “Well, Sasuke, today is the day that my divorce was finalized. It seemed like something… not to celebrate… but… I dunno… to honor.” Naruto swallowed, feeling reality begin to impinge on the borders of his pleasant buzz. “You know. There’s not, like, a cemetery or anything I can take flowers to, just to say goodbye. There’s no divorce cake, here’s your half, there’s your half, no dance done in reverse. Just seemed… right, I guess… to drink to it.”

He felt stupid as he looked into Sasuke’s eyes. He knew, he had always been told, that he talked too much, that he overshared. He knew alcohol only accelerated this tendency, and he knew that Sasuke was not likely the kind of person to suffer the overly-personal ramblings of strangers. But he couldn’t help it. He owed it to Hinata to minimize the damage, and this meant sticking to the script about mutual decisions and amicability with the friends they had in common. But Naruto was not the sort of person who could process things as monumental as a divorce without talking about it, and no matter how foolish it made him look, he couldn’t restrain himself tonight.

Sasuke didn’t snap at him, though, nor did he turn away. “Hn. Welcome to the club,” he murmured, and raised his glass to Naruto.

“You got divorced today, too?” Naruto asked.

“Hn.” Sasuke grunted, his lips quirking upwards briefly. “Not today. But I did recently get divorced, yes.”

Naruto felt a strange mixture of sympathy and excitement at Sasuke’s words. All of his friends were still happily married. Somehow, the fact that someone as gorgeous as Sasuke could fuck up a marriage made him feel better.

“How long were you married?” Naruto asked.

“12 years.”

“Same here,” Naruto answered. Sasuke raised his glass again.

Naruto peered at Sasuke curiously. He knew that he was likely treading on a landmine, but he couldn’t keep himself from prodding further.

“Why did you get a divorce, Sasuke?”

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “If you really must know, it’s because I realized that I’m gay and that my very _female_ wife deserved a chance at a real husband.”

Naruto felt as if his throat would close up. His eyes watered.

“It seems I’ve hit a nerve,” Sasuke muttered. “Your fourth shot’s on me, as long as you agree to shut up--and get a cab when you’re done drinking.”

Naruto nodded dumbly as Sasuke called the bartender over again.

“I don’t know how I was so stupid,” Naruto murmured. “How does someone literally not know that they’re attracted to men?”

Sasuke lowered his eyes.

“A person can convince himself of all sorts of things,” he told Naruto flatly. “Especially things that fit with the expectations we’ve been raised with. In any event, you’ll be fine. Humans are resilient.”

Naruto felt as if the conversation had been effectively ended, although there was so much more he wanted to know. He welcomed the arrival of his fourth shot.

“Goddamn. Shit burns,” he sputtered. “But it sure as hell does its job.”

Sasuke chuckled. “I forgot you’re used to beer. Scotch is much more efficient on nights like tonight. But it does burn.”

“Hell fucking yeah,” Naruto slurred.

Naruto looked around the bar. The drunken couple he had noticed earlier were now openly making out on the dance floor, not even bothering with the pretense at dancing. The other couple had left. He felt a surge of excitement when he recognized the song beginning to play over the speakers.

“Oh, man, I haven’t heard this song in years!” he exclaimed. “It’s so good. Sasuke, have you ever danced with a man before?” he asked, feeling emboldened by the booze and the music.

Sasuke glared at him. “I’ve never danced. And I don’t intend to start tonight.”

Naruto, though, had lost most of his inhibitions, and he could not understand how someone could never have danced.

“Come on, Sasuke, humor me. It’s my divorce dance.” He tugged at Sasuke’s wrist.

“Idiot,” Sasuke mumbled. His cheeks flushed, and Naruto thought that his skin looked even prettier when he was blushing—almost as if he were lit from within.

Naruto continued tugging until Sasuke complied, if for no other reason than to shut him up. He was used to doing things this way. It was messy, but it got him what he wanted.

“Please, please, please,” he sang along with the music, as he pulled Sasuke to the center of the dance floor.

“For fuck’s sake, Naruto, if you’re going to drag me onto the dance floor, at least refrain from trying to sing,” Sasuke hissed.

 

Naruto smirked, but he quit singing. He put one arm on Sasuke’s shoulder, the other on his waist. Sasuke stood, his hands hanging by his side, as Naruto moved them around.

Naruto had never been consciously attracted to a man before—not in person. He’d found himself fascinated with one celebrity or athlete or another, but he’d never felt the rush of attraction to someone he’d met. He was suddenly very aware, though, that he was attracted to Sasuke; not just his looks, which were beyond compare, but also to the acerbic bite of his personality. He could tell that Sasuke was fit, although he was lithe in comparison to Naruto’s own stockier build.

He looked up at Sasuke shyly. He expected to find his black eyes glaring at down at him in irritation, but instead, he found that Sasuke was just looking at him questioningly.

He reached up and touched Sasuke’s face gingerly. The onyx eyes widened, and for a moment, Sasuke looked like a little child. Naruto thought of the sadness he’d seen in Sasuke earlier and his heart ached.

“You’re really pretty,” Naruto whispered clumsily. “Even though you’re very sad.”

Sasuke flushed again and looked away.

 _Haven’t had a dream in a long time,_  
See the luck I’ve had,  
Could make a good man turn bad,  
So, for once in my life,  
Let me get what I want,  
Lord knows, it would be the first time.

The music combined with Naruto’s grief and the sadness he’d felt coming off of Sasuke, and he suddenly felt mired in it. He put his head down on Sasuke’s shoulder and wept.

“That’s it. You’re done for, Naruto,” Sasuke grumbled. He pulled Naruto’s hands off of his body and grabbed him by the wrist. “This is over. You’re drunk, and you’re going home.”

Naruto sniffed and willed the tears away, but it seemed that nothing was real anymore except for his failure, and Sasuke’s sadness, and he felt paralyzed by all of it. Sasuke would have none of it, though, and continued to maneuver him roughly through the bar, half dragging him.

 

He wasn’t completely conscious of the next sequence of events. He vaguely remembered being shoved into Sasuke’s car, with a sharp warning about being left on the sidewalk should he puke; he remembered trying to sit on the bottom step at an apartment complex, too amorphous to climb to the second floor, as Sasuke threatened him and cajoled him.

He didn’t remember how he ended up sprawled over Sasuke’s couch, or how he came to be covered snugly in a warm blanket. He wouldn’t remember that Sasuke had made him take an analgesic and drink a large glass of water before he laid his head down for the night.

The last thing he remembered was Sasuke’s face over his. “You’re the prettiest person I’ve ever seen, ‘Ske,” he mumbled. “Wish you weren’t so sad.” The large, dark eyes flew open wide in shock as Naruto sunk into a deep and dreamless sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A post-hangover breakfast doesn't feel as awkward as it ought to for Naruto.

Naruto panicked when he first awoke. He was not at the house he’d shared with Hinata, but he wasn’t at his new apartment, either. His senses went on edge as he attempted to sit upright, only to find himself too dizzy to accomplish that feat.

 “Don’t make any sudden moves,” a rich, deep voice warned. His panic trebled as he tried to remember where he’d heard that voice before and what he’d done to run afoul of its originator.

 He sucked in a sharp breath as a tall, dark-haired man looked down at him.

 

 Those eyes. Those deep, dark, eyes…

 

“Oh, fuck,” Naruto muttered.

 

The eyes crinkled at the corners as their owner smirked in amusement. “Do you remember my name?” the deep voice asked.

 

Shit. Shit, shit, and fucking shit again.

 

“S… Sas… u...ke?” Naruto stammered.

 

This seemed to amuse the dark eyed man. “Are you sure it isn’t ‘Lord Bat Goth Father?”’

 

Naruto vaguely remembered insulting the man whose hospitality he was currently abusing.

 

“I’m really fucking sorry,” he mumbled.

 

“Oh, it’s ok. It’s not every day that someone calls me “Lord Bat Goth Father” and “pretty” on the same night.” A glass was placed in front of Naruto’s face. “Drink. Slowly.”

 

Naruto carefully took a few sips of water. The dizziness, which had subsided, washed over him again.

 

“Drink again.”

 

Naruto complied, both embarrassed at his drunken antics and angry at Sasuke’s scrutiny. He knew he had no right to be angry at Sasuke, but his brain was not functioning properly at the moment, and he didn’t feel like trying to be a better person while nursing the worst hangover he’d experienced in his life.

 

“The bathroom is the first door on the left in the hall,” Sasuke told him. “Go get showered and I’ll make breakfast.”

 

Naruto stood carefully. He was pleased, given the haze surrounding his memories, to see that he was fully clothed, as he stumbled off down the hall to the bathroom. He was eager to wash the odor of stale alcohol off of his body.

 

As the hot water pelted his skin, he thought back about what he remembered. Had he really made Sasuke dance with him? And had he really confided in this stranger about his divorce? How much had he divulged? And why, since he had clearly—and could remember clearly enough to know that he had—made such a thorough-going ass of himself was Sasuke being so nice to him, now?

 

A single, sharp knock on the door interrupted his thoughts. “I left clothes for you on the counter,” Sasuke said through the door.

 

“Thanks,” Naruto replied. His head did not appreciate him speaking loudly enough for Sasuke to hear.

 

He finished his shower quickly. He dried off and slipped into the indigo-blue tee shirt that Sasuke had left him, followed by black sweat pants.  On a moment’s impulse, he lowered his nose to his shoulder and sniffed, hoping to find Sasuke’s scent on the shirt. All he could smell, however, was a faint trace of generic detergent fragrance.

 He walked carefully back towards the living room. He could hear Sasuke moving quietly in the kitchen; the aroma of coffee and toasting bread filled the open living space. A lump formed in his throat. One of his favorite parts of his marriage had been waking up to the sounds and smells of Hinata cooking breakfast. It had been so novel to have someone care for him and cook for him in that way. He remembered feigning sleep just so he could revel in the sounds and smells of Hinata cooking in the mornings.

 He swallowed hard and ambled towards the small, round table in Sasuke’s living room.

 

“Did those clothes fit?” Sasuke didn’t look up from the stove top as Naruto sat.

 

“Yeah, thanks.” Naruto scratched his head absently. He noticed a bottle of ibuprofen and a generous glass of water on the table.

 

“That’s for you,” Sasuke said brusquely; he set a plate and a fork down in front of Naruto and nodded towards the medicine and the water. “Take at least two. Finish the water. I don’t know how experienced you are with hangovers, but you will regret it if you don’t.”

 

Naruto smiled weakly. “I’m not much of a drinker,” he admitted. “The first and last time I got this drunk was the night before my wedding.”

 

Sasuke chuckled dryly as he pivoted back to the kitchen area. “I suppose that’s one way to bookend your marriage.”

 

Naruto guzzled the water, grateful for both the relief of hydration and for having a reason not to reply. He couldn’t stop thinking of all the years he had wasted of Hinata’s life with his dishonesty. Even if he hadn’t intentionally lied to her, he had still failed her and stolen the prime years of her life from her. He didn’t know how he would ever forgive himself.

 

Sasuke returned with a serving plate laden with fried eggs and bacon. “Here. Eat. You need the protein to counteract the nausea and the other residual effects of the alcohol,” he ordered.  Naruto didn’t argue. He helped himself to an egg and a slice of bacon, aware of Sasuke’s probing stare.

 

“Is your stomach sick?” Sasuke asked.

 

“Not really. Not since I rehydrated. Thanks.”

 

“Coffee?”

 

“Please.”

 

Sasuke returned and took his place across the table from Naruto, who slowly raised his eyes to Sasuke’s.

 

“There’s cream and sugar in the kitchen if you need it,” Sasuke said, sliding Naruto’s coffee mug across the table.

 

“This is good. Thanks,” Naruto replied softly. He hadn’t been queasy before, but looking at Sasuke eye to eye made his stomach flip unexpectedly. Naruto chalked it up to being hung over and mortified in front of a perfect stranger, one who had seen him at peak obnoxiousness.

 

“Hey, Sasuke,” Naruto started clumsily, “I’m… really sorry. For everything. For what it’s worth, you could have just left me at the bar. I know I made an ass of myself, and you really shouldn’t have let me impose on your night and your morning this way.”

 

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “Hn. You acted like an idiot, but aside from the “Lord Bat” comment, you really weren’t as much of an ass as you could have been.” Naruto didn’t know how he managed to convey amusement without cracking a smile; nevertheless, he could see laughter in the depths of Sasuke’s dark eyes.

 

“God,” Naruto groaned. “I was so obnoxious. I’m amazed you didn’t punch me.”

 

“I considered it.” This time, Sasuke’s mouth turned upwards slightly. “Dancing is not your forte, by the way.”

 

Naruto put his hands over his face and groaned again. “Did I really do that? Did I really pester you into dancing with me?”

 

“You sang, too. Or tried to, at least. Again, not your strong point.”

 

Naruto felt that Sasuke was enjoying his discomfort, but it didn’t bother him. To the contrary, it felt… comfortable. He had grown accustomed to people accommodating him unctuously, although he didn’t enjoy it. Being teased about being stupid and drunk, however, felt normal and right.

 

“You weren’t that bad, dobe,” Sasuke said. That same almost-smile touched his lips again. “Trust me, I’ve seen worse.”

 

“What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done when you were drunk?” Naruto asked him.

 

Sasuke looked at him levelly. “Impregnating a girl and marrying her,” he said.

 

The half-smile was gone, and it seemed to Naruto that a window in Sasuke’s eyes shut down while a door to a long, dark hallway opened.

 

“Eh. Sorry for prying,” he mumbled.

 

“No need to be. It was the first and the last time I was ever intoxicated,” Sasuke answered. “And, while not ideal, I did gain a daughter and a good friend from that escapade.”

 

Naruto grinned. “You have a kid?” he asked excitedly.

 

“Yes. One, and only one,” Sasuke replied. “You?”

 

“I have two,” Naruto volunteered around a mouthful of food. “My boy is 11 and my daughter is 3. Not that I’m much of a dad to them,” He finished bitterly.

 

Sasuke regarded him unblinkingly. Naruto suddenly felt exposed.

 

“You are shockingly honest,” Sasuke said after a long stretch of silence.

 

“Yeah,” Naruto muttered. “The gay guy who was married to a woman for 12 years because he couldn’t even admit to himself that he was gay is an icon of honesty.”

 

Sasuke frowned. “Airing your insecurities to strangers gives them something to exploit.”

 

Naruto fumbled with his napkin. “I dunno. I just spent the last 12 years _exploiting_ the first person who ever believed in me because I couldn’t be honest.” He speared the yolk of his egg, spilling it over his plate, before cutting a bite for himself. “Besides,” he said, lifting the fork to his mouth, “You don’t seem like the exploiting type.”

 

Sasuke’s frown deepened. “You really don’t know what my _type_ is,” he said in a low, quiet voice.

 

“I guess you’re right,” Naruto conceded. “But I’ve seen exploitation. I recognize it. I don’t see it in you. And if you were,” he said, pointing his fork in Sasuke’s direction, “You’d have had plenty of opportunities last night.”

 

Sasuke continued to frown as Naruto made his point. “There are multiple ways of manipulating and exploiting people, Naruto,” he said with a sigh.

 

“Yeah,” Naruto agreed. “But you don’t seem to be the kind of person who would. I mean, yeah, you could, and if something important were on the line, you probably would. But you wouldn’t do it just to entertain yourself.”

 

Sasuke had lowered his face as Naruto had talked. At the last sentence, though, his head jerked upwards. His eyes widened, and for a fraction of a second, his lips parted in surprise.

 

He scowled, eyeing Naruto warily.

 

“You are very confident about your assumptions,” he said.

 

Naruto marveled internally at the change in Sasuke’s features; he hadn’t thought it possible to actually surprise or frustrate the distant man. It seemed he had struck a chord, however, and he continued.

 

“You volunteered your information to me,” he said evenly. “When I started rambling about my divorce last night—and I do have enough recall to remember that—you could have just filed it away for your own information. But you didn’t. You actually shared a little of your own story with me, a stranger. You had plenty of opportunities to take advantage of my drunkenness, in any number of ways, but you didn’t. You brought me into your home and inconvenienced yourself. You’re sitting across from me eating breakfast. Why? What could you possibly do, now? Poison me? Blackmail me? My marriage is already over, my relationship with my children is already strained. I have no other family I could disappoint. You could possibly manage to get me fired, but there doesn’t seem to be any reward in that for you.”

 

Naruto shrugged. “I’ve lied to myself for over 30 years, now. I don’t feel like wasting my time on pretenses anymore. It doesn’t suit my nature. So, if you have something up your sleeve, whatever. I’ve known dangerous people, people who could and did fuck with me. You aren’t like them.”

 

Naruto finished his egg, scraping his plate with his fork while Sasuke sat quietly.

 

“Naruto,” he said softly, after several minutes, “You don’t really know what I’m like.”

 

“I am actually starting to get a pretty good idea,” Naruto answered back. “At least enough of an idea to feel comfortable talking to you. I mean, maybe not comfortable,” he laughed. “You heard me sing. You heard my whole sad-sack sob story. You saw me try to dance. _With you._ ”

 

He couldn’t stop smiling as he went on.

 

“I mean, you are the only person, other than my wife, that I’ve come out to. You probably think I’m a total dumb ass and a loser. And I’m ok with that, because you’d be right.”

 

Sasuke’s expression soured. “Don’t tell me what I think, Naruto. You really have no idea.”

 

Naruto nodded. “You’re right. But if someone acted around me the way I acted around you last night, I’d think they were a dumb ass. I’d probably like them better for it, because someone like that at least isn’t fooling anyone.”

 

Sasuke quietly sighed. “I don’t think you’re a dumb ass. At least not any more of one than the average human. No one is at their best after pounding scotch on the day their divorce is finalized.”

 

Naruto snickered. “Well, thanks. I do appreciate it. And, uh, thanks for telling me about yourself a little. I don’t have any friends who’ve gone through a divorce, so seeing that someone like you could actually be divorced, for the same reasons, and still be an awesome person gives me hope.”

 

“Tch.” Sasuke smirked. “Don’t make me your measure for success, Naruto,” he said lightly.

 

“Nah, it’s not like that. But you can still stand upright, yeah? You’re not holed up somewhere wasting away. You’ve even been super polite and understanding to an obnoxious stranger. That tells me that, yeah, maybe shit feels grim right now, but I won’t die. You see?” he asked.

 

Sasuke just looked at him and shook his head. “Whatever. Dobe. Come on. I’ll take you back to your car.”

 

  _ ~~~~Dobe_.

 

Something clicked in Naruto's head.

 

“You’re Japanese.”

 

“No fucking shit,” Sasuke muttered.

 

“Sorry. That sounded rude. I mean, I am, too. Outside of my community, though, I don’t randomly meet a lot of Japanese people.”

 

Sasuke studied him quietly, and Naruto felt he had a good idea of what he was thinking.

 

“I suppose I’m half,” he said. “My mom was. And my dad… well, he fell in love with Japan before he fell in love with my mother. He was a fluent speaker. I didn’t get to know either of them, but they did manage to make sure I could attend a Japanese bilingual school. I’m the principal of that school, now.”

 

He smiled broadly. “What are the odds?” he asked. “Two gay, divorced men of Japanese descent meet in a bar in the USA.  It sounds like the beginning of a really inappropriate joke.”

 

Sasuke snorted. “You say whatever comes into your mind, Naruto.”

 

Naruto was used to hearing this; his friends and teachers had always compared him to a bull in a china shop. He was accustomed to his thoughtlessness aggravating those closest to him. Sasuke, though, didn’t seem aggravated. He seemed to state it as a simple fact.

 

“Yeah, I guess I do,” he chuckled. “But it’s easy to talk to you.”

 

That seemed to catch Sasuke off-guard, and Naruto was gratified to see a faint pink flush spread across Sasuke’s cheeks.

 

 _He really is beautiful,_ Naruto thought wistfully.

 

“If you’re the principal of the school, then shouldn’t you be at work by now?” Sasuke prodded.

 

“Nah. I took a couple of days off to arrange my new living quarters. The school year is winding down, besides. What time is it, anyway? And have I kept you from getting to your job?”

 

“It’s 10 am,” Sasuke replied. “And if I had to be anywhere urgently, trust me—we wouldn’t be sitting here.”

 

Naruto found this amusing. “Ok. I get it. But thanks, again. It was super nice of you to go through so much trouble for me,” he said.

 

“No problem.” Sasuke nearly whispered.

 

Naruto felt that it was remarkably easy to smile around Sasuke, and he took comfort in that. He hadn’t experienced a genuine smile in so long, the sensation was almost foreign.

 

“Let me take you to your car,” Sasuke said.

 

“Yeah, sure. I’ll help you with the breakfast dishes.”

 

“No, that’s not necessary. There aren’t many. They’ll give me something to do later tonight,” Sasuke said, waving towards the kitchen dismissively. He rose, holding his hand out to Naruto.

 

Naruto took his hand and stood, realizing that he and Sasuke were roughly the same height. His eyes skimmed over Sasuke briefly. He wore a charcoal grey dress shirt with black buttons, black trousers, and a black waistcoat, which accentuated his trim waistline and narrow hips.

 

Naruto blushed and looked down, realizing that he was still holding Sasuke’s hand in his. “Thanks,” he whispered hoarsely. He couldn’t look up. He suddenly recalled the powerful attraction he’d felt for Sasuke the night before; if he looked into his eyes now, he thought he might be incapable of restraining any impulse to announce his attraction.

 

“No thanks necessary.” Sasuke did not remove his hand from Naruto’s, but he didn’t grasp Naruto’s hand, either. Naruto swallowed hard and dropped Sasuke’s hand.

 

 Sasuke cleared his throat and walked towards the door; Naruto followed, putting his shoes on by the door and trailing behind as Sasuke led him to his car.

 

The drive to the bar was brief and silent. Naruto admired Sasuke’s profile as he drove. He considered himself very fortunate to have run into Sasuke the night before; not only had he been exceptionally patient with Naruto’s antics, he had also given Naruto the space to speak honestly and openly for a little while. To Naruto, it was almost as if he were able to take a deep breath after being underwater for hours.

 

 _It doesn’t hurt that he’s easy on the eyes,_ growled a familiar voice inside. He grimaced, making an effort to silence the relentless internal commentary.

 

All too soon, it seemed, they were parked alongside Naruto’s car in front of the bar. “Thanks again, Sasuke,” he said, as he exited the black sedan. “For everything.”

 

He watched Sasuke drive away before closing himself into his own car.

 

His mind was full of thoughts of Sasuke, of their conversation over breakfast and memories of their interaction at the bar. He didn’t realize until he almost turned in at his old house that he had driven right past his new apartment.

 

Swearing disgustedly, he made a sloppy u-turn and drove back towards the flat he now rented. He didn’t appreciate the gated entrance, or the shimmering swimming pool. He wondered idly if he would ever bring Himawari and Boruto to the pool when they visited. The idea of his children _visiting_ him made him feel sick inside. With a heavy sigh, he pulled into a parking space in front of his building.

 

He climbed the concrete stairwell to the fourth floor. He walked past his door at first, then doubled back to it, still unfamiliar with the layout. He struggled longer than was necessary with the key in the lock, then opened the door to greet the boxes and furniture that haphazardly crowded his new “home.”

 

 _What now?_ He thought dismally, taking in the disarray.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto has somehow invaded Sasuke's mind. The feeling is unusual, uncomfortable, and frighteningly, Sasuke finds, not altogether unwelcome.

Sasuke watched Naruto disappear from his rear-view mirror. He didn’t know how to name what he felt; there were too many contradictions. He was annoyed that Naruto had managed to worm his way into his home and into his thoughts effortlessly. Yet he had also felt invigorated. Casual conversations with Sakura had always felt forced (probably because they were). His one and only friend, Juugo, was even more at home with silence than Sasuke was. Still, though, Juugo had always confided far more to Sasuke than vice versa.

 

He actually _wanted_ to talk to Naruto, though he couldn’t really figure out why. Naruto was garrulous, intrusive, and prone to crassness, it seemed. Talking to someone like Naruto made him feel all the more exposed; Naruto was surprisingly good at getting him to talk, and he didn’t like the feeling of that.

 

That wasn’t precisely true—he _like_ _d_ talking to Naruto. He did not like the fact that he liked it.

 

He felt as if it had been all too easy for the loud-mouthed blond to control their interactions. Sasuke was accustomed to being in control of conversations, whether he wanted to be or not. Most people found him intimidating, he realized, and that was fine with him. The minority who did not seemed to regard him as a trophy to acquire. Naruto, though, was neither intimidated by nor covetous of Sasuke, it seemed.

 

 _“It’s easy to talk to you,”_   the blue-eyed man had said.

 

 _He also said I was_ pretty _._

 

Sasuke was immune to praise or random compliments. In fact, he almost felt he had an autoimmune reaction to expressions of infatuation; he had been pursued by males and females alike since the age of 12, and he had never found it particularly flattering. To the contrary, he instinctively recoiled from flattery and held the obsequious at arm’s length. Flattery nearly always came with strings attached, with demands made.

 

But when Naruto had looked at him and called him “pretty,” he had felt a rich warmth pervade his senses. He had been aware of his face heating both times Naruto had said it. The difference, he supposed, was that Naruto was brutally honest. He didn’t even seem to spare his own feelings, he surely wouldn’t waste time pampering Sasuke’s ego.

 

Sasuke frowned as he recalled his advice to Naruto.

 

_There are multiple ways to manipulate and exploit people._

 

Still, though, he summoned the memory of how it had felt to be in Naruto’s arms, to look into his shockingly blue eyes as the words slipped from his unguarded mouth; _“_ _You’re really pretty. Even though you’re very sad.”_

 

Sasuke’s head seemed to spin, and his stomach soured. He felt naked and alone.

 

Sasuke was fiercely honest; he always had been. He neither insulted nor praised anyone—he simply stated facts. However, he’d never volunteered a lot of information about himself, either. Naruto had recognized his quips about his marriage and divorce as the rarities that they truly were. What he couldn’t fathom was why he had told Naruto those things to begin with.

He had not been drunk, had not really even had a decent buzz. He had certainly not indulged in scotch as if it were water, as Naruto had done.

_It was almost as if Naruto had cast a spell._

 

Sasuke shook his head, struggling to clear the uncomfortable, _irrational_ thought from his mind, which was feeling more addled by the nanosecond. His hands gripped the steering wheel, knuckles white, as he turned onto the right street.

 

He reviewed the objective facts: Naruto had been a strange man in a hipster bar. He had confided in Sasuke, and Sasuke had shared, in return, a few details about his marital life and divorce. Naruto now knew the following about Sasuke: that he was gay, that he’d been married to a woman for 12 years, that he had one child. There wasn’t enough information there to harm Sasuke or his family—such as it was.

 

_He knew I was sad._

 

Sasuke was always extremely conscious of the emotions he allowed to show. He shared sadness with very few people; Sakura had seen it, only because she had experienced his night terrors on a few occasions. Juugo had seen him cry, once, 16 years ago, and never again. Karin and Suigetsu had seen him that same time. Only four people alive had ever witnessed Sasuke give in to tears or confess heartbreak. Naruto was not one of those people.

 

He tugged at the collar of his shirt. The thought of getting through the workday made him feel better; losing himself within well-ordered sequences of discrete tasks seemed preferable to the uncharted terrain he seemed to be traversing mentally.

 

He mapped out his day in his mind, taking comfort in ordering his business. He felt his equanimity returning as he unlocked the door to his storefront.

 

He maintained his focus as he accomplished the tasks of the day, but he found that thoughts of Naruto frequently intruded. It was a rare person who could surprise Sasuke, but Naruto certainly had. Somehow, Naruto, who did not seem to be overly endowed with either tact or perspicacity, had managed to read some of Sasuke’s fundamental personality traits, traits no one other than a single, long-dead person had ever understood.

 

Sasuke frowned as he thought of Naruto’s comments about his ability to exploit people. Sasuke had built his life upon his ability to remain so out of reach and unreadable to others that they projected their own assumptions upon him. This had helped him not only to keep people out of his personal circle, but had also helped him sum up their goals and expectations.

 

He thought of all the things he had been called over the years.

 

“You’re arrogant” meant that Sasuke hadn’t stroked someone’s ego the way they had expected him to.

 

“You’re cold” meant that someone had hoped to exploit his emotions.

 

“You’re cut-throat” meant that Sasuke had managed to preempt an attack.

 

“You’re ruthless” meant that someone had intended harm.

 

“You’re hot” meant, “You’re a commodity I can use to my own ends." 

 

Sasuke believed in very little. He had dedicated his life to protecting and defending those dearest to him. His moral code had therefore been very simple; do whatever it took, go to any extreme to ensure the safety of those he loved—nothing more, nothing less.

 

“There are multiple ways of manipulating and exploiting people,” he had warned Naruto.

 

Naruto had agreed; but he, Sasuke, was not an exploiter, according to Naruto.

 

“… _yeah, you could, and if something important were on the line, you probably would. But you wouldn’t do it just to entertain yourself.”_

 

Sasuke didn’t gain anything from the fact that most people found him threatening or arrogant, other than relief that it meant they usually kept their distance. Inspiring fear didn’t bother him; it brought him no joy, though, either, and it certainly didn’t entertain him. Nor had the times he’d had to make good on the threat apparently implicit in his face.

 

 _I’ve known dangerous people, people who could and did fuck with me,_ Naruto had said. Sasuke wondered what he had meant. When had he encountered such people, and why? How far had they gone? How had Naruto survived?

 

 

By the end of the workday, Sasuke had accomplished everything on his agenda. It was the first time in years that he had only done the bare minimum required of him in a work day. He simply couldn’t keep his mind from wandering to Naruto over and over again.

 

He smiled when he recalled, once again, Naruto telling him he was pretty. Naruto had looked so childlike, as if he had just handed Sasuke a dandelion on the kindergarten playground. Sasuke was not starved for attention or adulation. His clients generally found his work impressive, and eagerly referred others to him. Although he was indifferent to looks, he was not unaware of the attention his looks attracted. He knew he was, by most people’s standards, uncommonly attractive. Yet when Naruto had looked at him such large, blue, open eyes and told him that he was pretty, Sasuke had felt a jolt of excitement. It wasn’t a feeling he had felt in his entire adult life.

 

Sasuke didn’t like unusual feelings.

 

The stupid song that Naruto had forced him to dance to even floated back to him, niggling at him until he had looked it up on his phone.

 

 _Good times, for a change_  
See, the luck I've had  
Can make a good man  
Turn bad.

 _So please, please, please,_  
Let me, let me, let me,  
Let me get what I want  
This time.

 _Haven't had a dream in a long time,_  
See, the life I've had  
Can make a good man bad

 _So, for once in my life,_  
Let me get what I want;  
Lord knows, it would be the first time.  
Lord knows, it would be the first time.

 

The lyrics made Sasuke wince, and again, he wondered about Naruto; what had appealed to him in that little song? What had his luck been like up until now, and what did Naruto want so badly that he would plead or pray for it?

 

A more disconcerting thought occurred to him.

 

What did he, Sasuke, want?

 

He had never stopped to consider.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Sasuke. He's so confused. The next chapter is from his POV, too; it'll give you a little glimpse of his past in this AU. Here is the song Naruto was attempting to sing along to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2nxQLJmshak  
> To me, it sums up Sasuke very well, even though he would never say such a thing out loud. 
> 
> Thanks so much to everyone who has read, left kudos, or commented! I hope you'll all enjoy this fic as it continues!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sasuke hates talking on the phone. He also hates talking about his feelings. He has to do both, whether he likes it or not.

Sasuke found himself unusually tired at the end of the business day. The double effort of conducting business and tamping down the constant thoughts of Naruto had exhausted his reserves, which had already been taxed by being out later than normal.

 

He sighed as he locked up his office space and got in his car. He didn’t know why a single encounter with a man he would likely never see again had him so agitated. Once again, he had the uncomfortable thought that Naruto might have ensorcelled him.

 

With a groan, he whipped out his phone and dialed a number.

 

“This is Sasuke Uchiha. I need Kurenai to fit me in. Anytime tomorrow. Yes, I understand that, that’s why I need to be fit in. I don’t need the whole hour. Just give me thirty minutes. I’ll pay twice the hourly rate. Ok. That’s fine. I’ll be there.”

 

He detested phone calls. He had one more to make, though, before he would drive home and pronounce his day officially over. He grit his teeth and steeled his nerve. He would frankly be more comfortable having his teeth extracted with pliers.

 

“Sarada. It’s Papa. How was your day today?”

 

 

 

* * *

 

Sasuke wiped his eyes wearily. The sooner he could get this day over with, the better. He had not slept particularly well; the few hours of sleep he’d got had been plagued by nightmares. As he fumbled through his morning routine, he recalled his conversation with Sakura just before the divorce. He suppressed a burst of rage.

 

“ _I need for you to agree to receive psychotherapy or counseling for the first year after the divorce. I will agree to the same. We will also agree to go to family counseling with Sarada.”_

 

Sasuke had bristled. How could Sakura make such a demand of him? What right had she? He had not denied either Sakura or Sarada any kind of support, even though Sakura had waved away every offer of financial compensation—even child support.

 

“ _I don’t appreciate this, Sakura.”_

 

_Sakura sighed. She looked directly at him, her eyes full of sadness. “I know you don’t. And I can understand why. But this isn’t about you or me. It’s about Sarada, about her family crumbling apart just as she’s getting to know you. And you know very well I could push for this if it went to court, and win. I don’t want that.”_

 

In the end, he told himself that it was only a year, and that it was a small sacrifice to make—even if it felt as if he were being fastened with yet another tether, yet another intrusion, yet another manipulation. He knew Sakura. He knew her motivations were pure. So, despite his misgivings, he had agreed.

 

Today, he was glad.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

Kurenai sat quietly across from him, waiting for him to start.

 

“I’m glad to see you today, Sasuke,” she said after five minutes. “Was there something particular you wanted to talk about? You’ve never come in outside of appointments before.”

 

Sasuke looked at her blankly.

 

“I had an encounter on Monday night that I’m not comfortable with. I’ve had some thoughts since then that I’m not comfortable with,” he said after another moment’s silence.

 

Kurenai raised her eyebrows. “An encounter? Tell me.”

 

“I was at a bar on Monday night. A man there was drinking, talking about his divorce being finalized. I feel as if I told him too much.”

 

“You talked to a person at a bar about your divorce?”

 

“Yes. I told him that I was recently divorced too. He asked why.”

 

Kurenai leaned forward and crossed her ankles. “Did you tell him?”

 

Sasuke sighed. “I did. I told him I had realized that I was gay and that my wife deserved a real marriage.”

 

“And you feel that this was an inappropriate thing to share?”

 

“With a drunken stranger at a bar?” Sasuke scoffed irritably. “Most definitely.”

 

Kurenai gave a tiny, but genuine smile.

 

“That sounds like the kind of things that people talk about in bars on a weeknight, Sasuke,” she responded. “What do you think was inappropriate about it?”

 

Sasuke looked at her, trying to gauge her sincerity. “I don’t know him.”

 

“But sharing details is how you get to know someone. Did you talk anymore after that?”

 

Sasuke fought the urge to shift in his seat. “He started _crying_. He said he had felt like he was the only one.”

 

“Then it’s a good thing, Sasuke,” Kurenai said, “that you were there to share your insights. He probably felt very isolated in that moment. Maybe you had felt isolated, too.”

 

Sasuke scowled. “I don’t need a pat on the back for saying I’m gay and getting a divorce.”

 

Kurenai chuckled. “Of course, you don’t. But you are human, Sasuke, after all. Sharing experiences is an important part of any shift or transition.”

 

“He got really, really drunk. He tried to make me dance with him. He cried on my shoulder. I ended up taking him home.”

 

Kurenai sat up straight. She blinked at Sasuke and stared at him, wide-eyed. “You took him home? How do you feel about that?”

 

Sasuke rolled his eyes when he realized what she had inferred. “I didn’t take him home as in _sexually._ I just brought him back to my apartment because he was too drunk to function.”

 

Kurenai smiled again. “Why did that matter to you?”

 

“I really couldn’t tell you.”

 

“What would have happened to him if you hadn’t brought him home?”

 

“I don’t know. Any number of things, from getting ripped off at the bar, to getting mugged, to trying to drive drunk. Your guess is as good as mine.”

 

“And you didn’t want those things to happen to him?”

 

“I’m not a monster, Kurenai. Of course I didn’t.”

 

“You _aren’t_ a monster, Sasuke. I’ve told you that before,” Kurenai replied with a smirk.

 

“For fuck’s sake, Kurenai.” Sasuke looked out the window in exasperation.

 

Kurenai studied him quietly for a moment. “Sasuke, maybe you can explain to me how this is negative. So far, I see a very decent gesture made to someone you managed to connect to. Did he threaten you? Did he trespass your boundaries or ask for something you couldn’t give?”

 

Sasuke ran his hands through his hair and groaned. “He was nice. He wasn’t all over me, except for trying to make me dance. He told me I was pretty. The advances ended there. So, no. He didn’t threaten. He didn’t even proposition me.”

 

He looked at Kurenai, who had raised her hand over her mouth. Her eyes sparkled and turned up at the corners. He knew she was trying not to laugh at him.

 

“Tell me about him trying to dance with you.”

 

Sasuke let out another groan. “He was drunk. He asked me if I’d ever danced with a man before, and I told him I didn’t dance. That seemed to somehow perplex him, and he tried to drag me by the arms to the dance floor. I acquiesced just to get him to quiet down. But then he told me I was pretty, and that I looked sad. Then he started sobbing on my shoulder.”

 

Kurenai’s features had resumed the impassive, professional mask with which he was familiar. She watched him for a few seconds. “How did it feel when he said that, Sasuke?”

 

Sasuke looked down at his hands before he could stop himself. “I felt strange.”

 

“Strange? In what way.”

 

“I can’t explain.”

 

“Is this the first time that someone has expressed an attraction to you since the divorce?”

 

Sasuke laughed. “Hell, no. I wish.”

 

Kurenai laughed too. “So, it wasn’t the expression of attraction, the telling you that you were pretty… What was the second half of his comment? That you looked sad?”

 

Sasuke grimace. “Yeah. He said I looked sad. No one has ever told me that before. Not since I was a little kid.”

 

“Why did that bother you so much?”

 

“I felt as if he had me all figured out. And I don’t know how.”

 

Kurenai looked at him a little wistfully, and Sasuke was reminded of how his mother would stare at him after an especially challenging Iaido practice.

 

“Why is it so terrible that he could see sadness in you?” 

 

“I can’t go through life like a giant, open wound, Kurenai,” he growled.

 

“Sasuke, believe me, you don’t. But that doesn’t mean that a perceptive individual won’t see sadness sometimes where it actually exists.”

 

Sasuke let out a bark-life chuckle. “Perceptive? Him? He was a total idiot. What right did he have to tell me I looked sad?”

 

Kurenai tilted her head and folded her arms. “Did you feel that he was intruding on you?”

 

Sasuke glared at her.  “Wouldn’t you?”

 

Kurenai sighed and looked down. “I don’t know, Sasuke. I do know that I’ve been grateful for strangers to recognize my sadness sometimes, because it can make me feel less lost within it. Sometimes, it’s just comforting to know that someone else can recognize an emotion that they’ve been through, too. It has sometimes reminded me that I’m part of the human race and that I’m going to be ok.”

 

Sasuke glowered. “That’s what the idiot said, too. Yesterday morning, at breakfast. He actually thanked me for telling him about the divorce, because he realized that if my life went on, his would too.”

 

A knowing smile crept over Kurenai’s features. She didn’t try to hide it this time. “He sounds pretty wise for an idiot.”

 

Sasuke smirked. “You’re just saying that because you agree with him.”  


A small laugh escaped Kurenai’s lips. “I forget how funny you can be.”

 

“I’ll remind you next time. You can start paying _me_ for the comedy.”

 

Kurenai laughed again.  “So you had breakfast with him. What was that like?”

 

Sasuke mused over what should have been a very straightforward question. “It was… not… it was not that bad, actually,” he said, somewhat resentfully.

 

“What did you talk about over breakfast?”

 

“He told me how he had only been hung over once before, on his wedding night. He told me that he was selfish and dishonest for misleading his wife for 12 years, even though he really couldn’t recognize his orientation until his marriage deteriorated. He told me he wasn’t a good father because he didn’t spend a lot of time with his two kids.”

 

“That’s a lot of information. I know you’re going to laugh at the cliched question, but really and truly, Sasuke, how did you feel… what was going through your mind… when this stranger is sitting across from you telling you these things about himself?”

 

“It made me angry,” Sasuke spat out, before he could even think.

 

“Angry? Tell me more about that.”

 

Sasuke balled his hands into fists. “Who lays their insecurities and vulnerabilities out in front of a complete stranger? He doesn’t know me. It’s like he’s leaving all these openings for people to just kick him when he’s down. Why would he do that? Where is his sense of self-preservation?”

 

“Maybe he felt safe with you,” Kurenai ventured.

 

“Safe? That’s fucking insane. He has no idea what I might be capable of. Thinks that just because I let him crash on my couch when he was drunk and didn’t rape or rob him that I must just be the salt of the earth. It’s foolish. It’s dangerous.”

 

“Dangerous for him, or for you?” Kurenai asked after a pause.

 

“To him, obviously!” Sasuke roared. He wanted to hit something. He hadn’t felt this angry in a very long time.

 

“This person evoked protective instincts from you quite early on in your interactions, it seems. He may not be incredibly smart, and he may have been drunk. But _his_ instincts seem to have told him that you meant him no harm. Was he wrong?”

 

“No!” Sasuke whispered hoarsely. “I’m not a sadist who gets off on hurting people, especially when they already feel bad.”

 

“Say that again.”

 

“Dammit, Kurenai, what the fuck is this? I know what I just said.”

 

Kurenai regarded him evenly. “Then say it again.”

 

Sasuke huffed. “I’m not a sadist who gets off on hurting people when they already feel bad,” he muttered perfunctorily. “Are you happy?”

 

“I want you to keep that in your mind, Sasuke. You seem to regard yourself as some sort of lurking monster just waiting for a chance to pounce, yet when someone vulnerable presented themselves to you, you actually extended a kind hand and an understanding ear. You could have ignored him when he started talking to you. You could have left him at the bar. When he confided in you the next morning, you could have made him feel small.”

 

Sasuke felt the anger reach a boiling point within him. “You sound just like that moron from the bar. He told me that he could tell I wasn’t going to exploit his weaknesses. How the fuck would he know? He says he has a ‘pretty good idea’ of what I’m like. Isn’t that rich? I managed not to rape, extort, or otherwise harm a drunken fool. So I get points for not being a playground bully, is it? Is that really the standard?”

 

“You need to ask yourself that question; you are the one putting yourself on trial, here.” Kurenai snapped sternly. “Since you started seeing me, you’ve consistently made a case for why Sasuke Uchiha should be regarded as Public Enemy Number One. You are afraid to interact with your daughter. You aren’t even comfortable living in the same city with her. But Public Enemy Number One would not have treated that man the way you did, and you know it.”

 

Sasuke felt deflated. He closed his eyes and gently pressed his finger pads against his eyelids. “I don’t understand why I’m here. I had a way of life that worked for me. I didn’t need to be happy. Things just worked.”

 

“Things work until they don’t, Sasuke,” Kurenai replied. “Then, life changes, and new ways have to be worked out.”

 

“I suppose.”

 

“I see a lot of positive things about this interaction with this man, whether you can see it or not. You connected with him on some level. You allowed yourself to be more open and vulnerable.”

 

“Open and vulnerable aren’t desirable traits in my life.”

 

“Vulnerability is not weakness, and being open doesn’t mean having no boundaries.”

 

Sasuke felt very small when he looked at Kurenai. “Trusting the wrong person can be deadly…”

 

“The life you’ve led has not allowed you to trust easily, and for many years, that distrust kept you safe and sound. But now, it’s hurting you and it’s hurting people like Sarada, who want to reach beyond those walls you’ve raised. It’s time to adapt. It’s time to grow.”

 

“I don’t want to trust the wrong people again,” Sasuke murmured.

 

Kurenai peered at him intently, but kindly. “You _won’t_ , because you’ve now learned skills to discern who is trustworthy and who is not. Your life has given you instincts about people. You can use those instincts to let the right people in. You must have had some instincts about this man you met at the bar. You wouldn’t have told him about your sexual orientation or your divorce if you hadn’t.”

 

"What if my instincts are wrong? It could happen. Except I now have a daughter and an ex-wife to consider."

 

"If your instincts turn out to be wrong, you will adjust and rectify the situation.  You are no longer a child with no agency, nor do you live in a war zone where you have to assume everyone is an enemy until they prove otherwise."

 

Sasuke pondered this. He owed it to himself to listen to rational advice, but no matter how he cut it up, Kurenai’s words struck him as pandering to a weak will.

 

After what seemed like a long time, Kurenai softly cleared her throat. “Have you told me everything that is bothering you about this encounter, Sasuke?”

 

Sasuke shook his head.

 

“Can you tell me what else concerns you?”

 

Sasuke flexed his hands a few times and leaned forward, his head down.

 

“I… can’t stop thinking about him,” he whispered. It was painful to admit.

 

When he looked up, Kurenai was staring at him in puzzlement. “That bothers you?”

 

Sasuke’s eyes grew wide and he was aware of gaping at Kurenai for a moment.

 

“Of _course,_ it bothers me!” he answered. “Kurenai, I had a really irrational idea yesterday. That’s the main reason I came to you today.”

 

Kurenai continued to stare at him speechlessly for a few seconds. “Ok… so… tell me about this irrational thought.”

 

Sasuke felt as if he had bitten into a persimmon. He grimaced. “I thought… for a moment… that he might have… That he might have _put a spell on me.”_

 

Kurenai just stared, the same look of frozen bemusement on her face.

 

“I know…” Sasuke began. He coughed as if he might choke on the words.

 

“I know that… I am not schizophrenic or whatever. But what if… What if _it_ happens again?”

 

Understanding seemed to dawn in Kurenai’s eyes. “Sasuke, are you afraid you’re having a psychotic break?”

 

Sasuke stared miserably at the floor. He hated that phrase. It made him feel as if he were 13 again, terrified of his mind and body being invaded. He nodded.

 

“Have you been concerned about people hearing or seeing your thoughts lately?”

 

He shook his head no.

 

“And just the one time you thought this man you met might have—somehow—altered your thoughts?”

 

Sasuke nodded.

 

“Have you been taking your anti-anxiety medicine that Sakura recommended?”

 

He nodded again.

 

“And other than wondering, briefly, if this person had cast a spell on your mind, you haven’t had any overwhelming concerns about being controlled by something outside of you?”

 

“That’s right,” Sasuke murmured.

 

He continued to look at the floor. He heard Kurenai’s chair creak as she sat back and uncrossed her legs.

 

“Sasuke,” she said quietly. “Please look at me.”

 

Sasuke complied hesitantly.

 

Her expression was warm and gentle. “You aren’t having a breakdown.”

 

He swallowed and nodded numbly.

 

“Sasuke, this is what _attraction_ feels like.”

 

His eyes widened.

 

“This is infatuation. There are probably thousands of songs and poems about feeling spellbound by someone. You’ve just never allowed yourself to feel like this since...”

 

“Yeah,” Sasuke cut her off with a dismissive wave.

 

She glanced through her notes. “You said you met this man on Monday.”

 

Sasuke closed his eyes and tilted his head back, drawing a long breath through his nose.

 

“It was Monday.”

 

“That’s… interesting,” Kurenai said in a low voice.

 

Sasuke lowered his head. “I suppose it is.” He felt a familiar weight settle heavily in his chest.

 

“We’ve gone over our time, it seems.”

 

“I figured. Sorry. I’ll pay extra.”

 

“No, don’t worry about that. You did the right thing by making an appointment. But I have an assignment for you.”

 

“Oh, ye gods,” he groaned.

 

“Be open to your feelings. Maybe see this man again,” Kurenai advised.

 

“I… can’t. I don’t have any of his information.”

 

Kurenai let out a throaty chuckly. “You’re Sasuke Uchiha. You can _find_ his information. You can tell me about your experiences at our next session.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're familiar with mental health care protocols, you'll realize that Sasuke and Kurenai don't have quite the same rigid protocols governing their counselor/client relationship. Kurenai and Sasuke's professional relationship goes back a long way, so they can relax some of the rules. 
> 
> Thanks, everyone, for reading, commenting, and leaving kudos! I love hearing your insights, and you've all been so kind with your comments.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sins of the father become the sins of the son. Naruto has a lot to atone for.

An insistent knock roused Naruto’s attention from the files he intently perused. He groaned and ran his hands through his hair. The last days of school were nothing but a series of interruptions to time-sensitive tasks. Nevertheless, he schooled his features into a neutral expression. “Come in!” he called, more cheerfully than he felt.

 

Shikamaru opened the door and peeked through. “We have a disciplinary issue, Mr. Uzumaki.”

 

Naruto grinned and bit back on his annoyance. “I trust you to handle it, Mr. Nara,” he said.

 

Shikamaru frowned and rolled his eyes. “I think, _Mr. Uzumaki,_ that this particular issue calls for your involvement.”

 

The door opened wider, and Shikamaru ushered in a smirking, swaggering preteen. Naruto’s shoulders sank.

 

“Boruto.”

 

Boruto crossed his arms over his chest and raised his chin.

 

“What did you do, now?” Naruto ground out.

 

Boruto just grinned.

 

“Ahem.” Shikamaru entered the office fully and closed the door. Naruto noticed that he was holding something.

 

“The young Mr. Uzumaki decided to indulge in artistic pursuits today,” Shikamaru said wryly. He hefted up a large portrait of Naruto, the one the school board had insisted upon hanging in the school’s foyer. Over Naruto’s grinning visage, in bright orange letters, was painted, “Principal Asshole.”

 

Naruto coughed to hide a chuckle. He hated that portrait. Secretly, he admired Boruto’s persistence in his quest for independence from him. He also knew, though, that Boruto had also used this act of rebellion to send a message to him about his virtues—or lack thereof—as a father and a husband.

 

“I’m going to allow you to handle this one, Mr. Uzumaki,” Shikamaru stated. “I’ll look over the applications for the secretary’s position, if you’d prefer.”

 

“Please do, Mr. Nara. Rank your recommendations for me, and we’ll talk after I deal with this little hoodlum.”

 

Boruto scoffed, and Naruto knew that it was more to do with the descriptor “little” than with Naruto calling him a hoodlum.

 

“I’ll talk to you in thirty minutes, then,” Shikamaru replied, giving Boruto a disapproving glance as he exited.

 

“Sit down,” Naruto said wearily.

 

Boruto glared at him. He didn’t comply right away. Naruto held his glare, neither smiling nor frowning, until Boruto finally dropped into the chair across from Naruto’s desk.

 

“This isn’t acceptable, Boruto,” Naruto said carefully.

 

“Why? Does the truth hurt?” Boruto challenged.

 

Naruto blinked once and inhaled. “Do you really think you’re the first or the most intimidating person who’s ever called me an asshole?”

 

“Is it because I’ve embarrassed you? Because I’m your _son?_ Because I’m supposed to be a good example of how we respect our elders?” Boruto demanded.

 

“It’s none of those things,” Naruto answered. “I couldn’t care less about that portrait, honestly. It doesn’t belong to you, though, or to me. It’s school property. Not only that, if you’re itching to call me names, you should have the backbone to do it to my face like a man.”

 

Boruto began to pout. “Maybe I would, if you were ever around,” he said angrily.

 

His barb found its target. Naruto knew he was right; prior to the divorce, work had held him over, away from home, for hours. Many nights he had not come home until Boruto and Himawari were asleep.

 

“You have every right to be angry with me, Boruto,” Naruto said with a sigh. “I know I am gone a lot.”

 

“You’re gone all the time now, aren’t you?” Boruto asked tremulously. “You don’t even have to come home anymore. You never have to deal with us anymore at all.”

 

To Naruto’s horror, he realized that tears were welling up in his son’s eyes. Boruto kept talking.

 

“Mom doesn’t cry anymore. She used to, all the time, and I would be the only one who could hear her. Because you’d be at work, and Himawari would be asleep. And Hima—she hardly knows you at all. I’m just biding my time until you disappear completely.”

 

Naruto’s eyes widened. Boruto might as well have kicked him squarely in the sternum; his chest ached and his eyes watered. He looked down.

 

After several tense minutes, he looked up. “I’m not going to disappear, Boruto,” he said hoarsely. “I love you. Just like I love Himawari. And, even though I was not a good husband, I love your mother. I am going to have to learn how to prove that to all of you.”

 

“Too little, too late, old man!” Boruto shouted, bringing his fists down on Naruto’s desk. “Just give me my damn punishment and let me go. I don’t want to hear anymore about how much you _love_ the family you just officially abandoned.”

 

Rage swelled up in Naruto’s chest, twisting with the sadness like a strangling vine twisting around a rose plant.

 

“Listen to me now, Boruto,” he said quietly. “I have not _abandoned_ you. I still see you every day. I still will see you on most weekends. I still pay for your karate lessons and your school tuition. You don’t know what it means to be abandoned, son.”

 

“Whatever. Just give me detention or whatever and let me go.”

 

Naruto looked at Boruto; the anger and hurt in his eyes made him feel small and useless. He knew he had many years of emotional neglect to remedy. He didn’t know how to even begin.

 

“You aren’t getting detention. If this were the first thing of this kind you’d done, maybe. But now? No way. You are rude to your teachers when it suits you. You’ve vandalized school property before. You’re way beyond detentions, buddy.”

 

Boruto smirked. “What are you going to do, expel me? You would _never_ have to see me anymore, if you did that. And you wouldn’t have to worry about the principal’s son making you look bad to your precious school.”

 

_Give it to him, kid. Nip this shit in the bud right now._

 

Naruto grinned, and Boruto blanched. “You wish I’d expel you.”

 

_I told you you were too soft. Tighten the screws._

 

Boruto tried, and failed, to look nonchalant. Naruto contentedly watched him struggle for a moment, clasping his hands in front of him on the desk.

 

“I don’t think expulsion is what you need, Boruto. I have something else in mind, entirely.” He enjoyed watching his rebellious son squirm.

 

Boruto’s lower lip trembled. The boy tried to straighten his back and look brave. Naruto knew this wasn’t a side of him that Boruto was used to seeing. It wasn’t a side of him that he was used to letting out. He was beyond caring at the moment. He knew that he’d likely regretting letting this aspect of himself out like this—but later. Not now, not when he was still raw from losing so much, not when Boruto had accused him of abandonment.

 

“You were supposed to spend your study hall next year doing one-on-one training with Shino-sensei,” Naruto said. “I don’t think, though, that such intense martial arts training is a good thing for someone so arrogant and undisciplined.”

 

Boruto’s mouth dropped open. He made a small sound of disbelieving protest.

 

“You can still go to the dojo for your usual lessons. But your study hall will now be spent in the school office. Specifically, it will be spent in _my_ office. You will be my office aide during the time you would have been training with Shino-sensei one-on-one.”

 

“That’s… that’s… that is not fair, Dad!” Boruto shouted.

 

_Show him who’s boss, now._

 

“Life isn’t fair, Boruto,” Naruto snapped. “It isn’t fair, for example, to make a mess that other people have to clean up. It isn’t fair for you to disrespect your school and your teachers just because you’re mad at me. You will, actually, be cleaning up the portrait. You will take it to Deidara-sensei, and you will ask him to help you, at his leisure, to get the paint off the portrait. Your allowance will go towards reimbursing him and replenishing his supplies. Or, if he says it is not doable, you will pay for an outside studio to restore it. While I don’t really care about the portrait, the school board paid a lot for it, and you will not—I repeat, you _will not—_ deface another piece of school property again.”

 

Boruto’s eyes were huge. Naruto could see he was caught between frowning and pouting.

 

“Now. Get out and go back to class. You can talk to Deidara after school today and see what he says,” he told his son. “Mr. Nara will walk back to class with you just in case you get any other bright ideas on your way back.”

 

Boruto stood, his hands fisted at his sides, and stamped towards the door, slamming it—predictably—as he left.

 

_I told you, that kid walks all over you. It was high time you showed him who’s the boss._

 

“Shut up,” Naruto growled at himself. He put his head down in his hands. As he had known all along, the guilt surged in Boruto’s absence. He doubted he would ever get it right with that kid. While it had hurt to hear Boruto accuse him of abandoning his family, and while it had felt so unfair, it hurt far worse to consider that he had made a valid point. Naruto had never failed to provide materially for his family. He had never left them. Yet he had worked so hard building this school into something he could cherish and believe in that he’d left his own kids behind, making them feel incidental to his life.

 

_You know, the kit has a point._

 

Yes, Naruto acknowledged to himself, to his own inner demon, he had used his work as an excuse to stay away from a wife and family he didn’t wholly feel he deserved. He never had. He had grown increasingly aware, over the years, of how little of himself he was actually giving Hinata, despite the fact that she seemed to give him everything. He loved her, cherished her, and admired her. She had been the first person to look at him with anything other than contempt.

 

He loved her for that. She had believed in him when all anyone else seemed to see was a hopeless, wild little boy who’d been left behind with no particular gifts of his own. She had been so kind to him, long before he had shown any promise whatsoever to the casual observer. Naruto, for his part, adored her. Hinata’s meek nature and timidity sparked his innate protective drive. Her family’s poor treatment of her had aroused his anger—rage, even—and had driven him to change many aspects of their educational system and culture. It was terrible, indeed, to feel as if the person she needed protection from had been Naruto himself.

 

He had run from her. Not into the arms of a mistress, not to clubs, not to emotional liaisons, even. Yet as much as he had loved her, he had never been able to discover _that thing_ that his friends seemed to have found at different points in their lives. _That thing,_ full of terror and exhilaration and lust. _That thing_ others knew as _falling in love._

 

Nor had he, ultimately, fooled Hinata into believing that he’d ever felt it. He didn’t know how long she’d trundled along through their marriage, aware of the absence of those feelings while upholding the appearances and hoping for more. In the process of avoiding conflict over what they had versus what they hoped for, Naruto had also ended up avoiding the two children they’d created together. He deserved Boruto’s rage and rebellion, he knew. He also knew that he, and only he, must somehow set things right with the boy, because his anger was just begging for greater and greater displays. Naruto knew how far a boy with anger issues, a boy who felt invisible to those nearest to him, could go, and he didn’t want Boruto to learn life’s harsher lessons so early.

 

He was lost in thought when Shikamaru cracked open the door later.

 

“C’mon, Shikamaru,” Naruto called.

 

His old friend entered, his features arranged in their perpetually-bored expression. “How’d it go?” he asked Naruto.

 

“Heh. Well, he’s a kick in the head, that’s for damn sure.”

 

Shikamaru smirked. “Well, he does take after his daddy. Didn’t you do the same thing? To _all_ the portraits?”

 

Naruto laughed at the memory. “Yeah, and I was a lot younger. So I guess I’m getting off easy.”

 

Shikamaru’s smirk shifted into a small smile. “I wouldn’t exactly say that. What did you decide to do with him?”

 

Naruto wrinkled his nose at the memory. “Well, I told him he has to pay Deidara to help him remove the paint from the portrait. And… I told him he has to take study hall as my office aide next year, instead of training one-on-one with Shino.”

 

Shikamaru briefly looked surprised. “That...”

 

“I know, I know,” Naruto interrupted. “I went too far.”

 

Shikamaru huffed in annoyance. “I was _going_ to say, ‘good job.’ That was really smart, Naruto. Almost, dare I say it, _wise.”_

 

Naruto’s head whipped up. “You can’t be serious.”

 

“Completely serious. He needs more time with you, and this way, he’ll get it. He will also get a glimpse into the discipline required of your position, and maybe learn some discipline himself. You didn’t take karate away all together, did you?”

 

“No. I’d never do that. He needs the physical release, and he’s so close to black belt, now, that it would be unfair.”

 

Shikamaru smiled again. “I know the divorce has been hard on you, Naruto, and I know how much you want to make things right for the kids. But Boruto has all your energy and anger without any of your humility. Whether he feels like it or not, he needs this kind of discipline. I’m surprised you were able to deal it out to him, but he’ll respect you for it more as time goes by.”

 

His friend’s words soothed Naruto’s aching, conflicted mind. He and Shikamaru had grown up together, learning from each other along the way, and he knew he would neither give unearned praise nor validate unfair discipline.

 

“Hey,” Shikamaru said mischievously, “wait until I tell Temari about this. She has always said you’re too much of a push-over with the kids.”

 

Naruto stuck his tongue out at Shikamaru before pelting him with the stress ball on his desk. “Thanks so much, _Mr. Nara._ Or should I say, Mrs. Suna?”

 

“Very funny, ha, ha,” Shikamaru retorted, chucking the foam ball back at his friend. “Seriously, though. Good job with the mini-clone today. You have anything to do tonight? We need to get some interviews arranged for the secretary’s position. I have all the candidates ranked as you requested.”

 

“Yeah, that sounds good,” Naruto said, stifling a yawn. “You want to meet out somewhere?”

 

Shikamaru shook his head. “I was thinking more like you could come over for dinner. Temari and the kids are heading out to her parents’ beach house immediately after school is dismissed. We could take all the time we need. Be there at six?”

 

“Sounds good,” Naruto said, yawning again. Shikamaru nodded in acknowledgment as he rose and turned towards the door.

 

“Oh, and Shika?” Naruto smiled as Shikamaru turned back to face him. “Thanks so much.”

Shikamaru smiled softly.

 

“No problem. You know you’re a good principal and a good dad, right?” He didn’t wait for an answer, turning back to the door before he even finished talking.

 

Naruto was glad. He didn’t want Shikamaru to see the tears that were threatening.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto wakes up in his apartment. A conversation with Hinata makes him ponder what Boruto needs from him. It seems serendipity smiles on him in the form of a bookstore.

~~~~

The light slanted pleasantly through the openings in the blind. Naruto stretched lazily and looked around him. He had made decent progress on the apartment. There weren’t as many boxes as before, and while things were still cluttered and disorderly, it was improving. He cracked his back as he sat up. He’d purchased a bed each for Himawari and Boruto, but he had resisted purchasing any other furniture. He, himself had slept on an old, traditional shikibuton that he and Hinata had kept for when her parents visited.

 

He stumbled into the kitchenette, happy that he’d had the foresight to unpack the coffee pot the night before. He yawned and started the coffee. He knew that once the warm aroma of brewing coffee permeated the apartment he’d feel more human. Maybe even more at home.

 

He poured himself a cup before the entire pot had brewed, not caring that the water hissed on the hotplate as he poured his cup. His phone rang well before the caffeine began to kick in. He grabbed it sluggishly, irritable at the intrusion, and recognized Hinata’s number.

 

“Hey, Hina, what’s up?” he asked, trying to fend off the nausea that bloomed in his gut at the sound of her voice. The few miles between them felt like an unbridgeable chasm.

 

“Naruto,” her voice came softy. “Naruto, Boruto told me that he got in trouble yesterday at school.”

 

Naruto took a drink of his coffee before replying. “Yeah, he did. Decided to make a well-earned statement on my portrait.”

 

Hinata was silent for so long Naruto thought that the call had been dropped.

 

“You can’t make excuses for him, Naruto,” Hinata said. “He has to learn some discipline.”

 

Naruto felt so far away, so very far away from his children and from his old life. Worse than the distance was the feeling that he didn’t know if he wanted to lengthen that distance, just to keep from fucking things up worse than he already had, or clasp Himawari and Boruto to his chest and never let them go.

 

“Hinata, I know what you’re saying. But he has a right to call an asshole an asshole.”

 

Hinata’s sigh came through the line like a hiss. “Naruto, you’re still his father, and he still needs to respect you.”

 

Naruto scraped his toe over the carpet, watching it change tones and relishing the friction. “I don’t believe in people being respected without earning it, Hinata. You know that.” She began to protest, but he cut her off. “I know our culture—we are supposed to respect our elders no matter what, and honor them, and blah, blah, blah. But I also know that you and I have both been fucked over by that belief. By people who demanded our respect when they had no problem picking on a little kid and expecting us to just trail along behind them because we were smaller. I am not gonna ask Boruto to be like that.”

 

“I have always supported you as a father, Naruto,” Hinata said, her gentleness fraying with exasperation, “but this is different, and you know it. You haven’t been unkind to Boruto, nor have you left him behind. You have to be less permissive with him.”

 

Naruto grit his teeth. “I punished him, Hinata. Even Shikamaru was pleased. I still think the kid has the right to be mad at me.”

 

“I’m glad you punished him. Do _not_ let him guilt-trip you into letting it go, Naruto,” Hinata warned.

 

“I won’t, Hinata. I promise.”

 

The silence lapsed between them, a beat too long for comfort. “Hinata,” Naruto finally said, “I want to be better with Boruto. I really do. I want to earn his respect. Fuck if I know how, but I want to.”

 

“Oh, Naruto...” she said sadly. “Just love him.”

 

“Yeah. Whatever. Hey, thanks. I appreciate you calling, Hinata.”

 

There wasn’t even a click when the conversation ended. Just… nothing. Just Naruto alone in his apartment with its off-white walls and beige carpet, an in-between place where countless others had stopped over on their way to somewhere more permanent. He gulped down the rest of his cooling coffee and strode off to the shower to wash away the feeling of being a man without a country.

 

The sky was an unusually bright and cheerful shade of blue that day. He had wandered downtown on foot, thoughts of Boruto swirling in his mind. He desperately wanted Boruto to grow up knowing the comfort of having two parents who loved and cared for him unconditionally. He knew he couldn’t undo the years of distance, but they had some years left; perhaps with some discernment and effort, he could set things aright with his son.

 

Naruto’s characteristic optimism, which had carried him through so many difficulties and into so many achievements, resurrected within him and gave him new power as he walked beyond the downtown shops and towards the edge of the city limits.

 

As he neared the railroad tracks that demarcated the end of the village, he looked around. He seldom came to this side of town; the school was situated almost squarely in the town center. His old home had been on the far side of town in the opposite direction. He decided he liked the atmosphere. There were, here and there, a few buildings with the old-fashioned tiled roofs. Most of the older buildings had balconies, and Naruto could imagine, in days long gone by, immigrant housewives hanging their families’ shikibutons and kakebutons over the railings to sun.

 

One storefront in particular caught his eye. The logo was reminiscent of a _mon_ from one of the ancient Japanese clans, three comma-like shapes arranged in a triangular fashion in red. “Tomoe Books and Artifacts,” the shingle read beneath. An ikebana arrangement in the wide window completed the effect. Naruto wondered if this shop had always been here. He smiled; Boruto liked reading about Japanese feudal history. It felt fortuitous to have found it just as he’d been thinking of his son.

 

He opened the door and reflexively removed his shoes before remembering that he was not, in fact, entering a Japanese home and put them back on hastily. The shop was well-ordered and minimally furnished, with low bookcases lining the walls and creating aisles in the center of the floor. To the rear of the room was a very shallow tokonoma with another ikebana arrangement and a scroll with the characters for Amaterasu, the goddess of the sun, hanging on the wall behind. This pleased Naruto’s sense of serendipity even more; he had a similar scroll with the characters for Tsukuyomi, the god of the moon, hanging in his new apartment. One of the few items he had held onto since his childhood, he had hung it in the living room before he had unpacked anything else.

 

There were books on Japanese art, architecture, and history, as well as a decent selection of Japanese and Japanese-American literature. He wasn’t sure what Boruto had read and what era of Japanese history he was now engrossed in.

 

_Shoulda paid more attention, eh?_

 

Naruto growled softly to himself. He would not allow his self-doubt to divert his attention from his mission, now.

 

“Is there anything in particular you are looking for?”

 

Naruto startled at the sound of a rich, deep, _familiar_ voice. He hadn’t noticed anyone come onto the sales floor. He whipped around and found himself face-to-face with Sasuke, his black eyes shining and making Naruto wish more than anything that he could disappear into the floor.

 

“Uh. Hey, Sasuke. I didn’t know this was your shop.” Naruto willed his voice to drop an octave and stop shaking.

 

Sasuke’s lips quirked upwards briefly. “Hello, Naruto,” he said politely. Once again, Naruto felt as if the syllables of his name, as pronounced by Sasuke, had invisible fingers to run up and down his spine. He hoped he wasn’t blushing. He knew he probably was.

 

“I am looking for something for my son,” Naruto said as he scratched the back of his neck. “He likes Japanese history. But I really don’t know what era he’s into right now.”

 

“Your son is about 11?” Sasuke aked. Naruto was impressed that he’d remembered. “And you’re sure he’d prefer a history book?”

 

“Yeah, he’s a good student,” Naruto said. “He used to be fascinated with samurai, but I am not really sure, anymore, what he’s enthusiastic about.”

 

 

“Hn.” Sasuke frowned a little in thought as he turned. “If he hasn’t read _Hagakure_ , he might appreciate it. I have a decent translation here. Don’t let the translator’s Western name fool you.”

 

“Ah, yeah, he’s tried with _Hagakure_ before and found it a little… heavy and difficult.”

 

“A good translation can make a difference, but personally, I find it a silly and irrelevant work.”

 

Naruto frowned. “Why? It was how samurai lived their lives. It was supposed to define what it meant to be a samurai in the first place.”

 

Sasuke scoffed. “More precisely, it defined how a samurai was supposed to _die_. A samurai wasn’t even supposed to consider himself alive, if you believe _Hagakure,_ until he’d accomplished the will of his lord.” Sasuke’s eyes bored into him, and Naruto wanted to keep goading him, just to keep those eyes focused on him.

 

“It was the time period. Historically, it could be helpful,” he argued.

 

“Sure. It puts into perspective why feudal society rightfully died out and why all vestiges of it should be trampled in the dust.”

 

“Says the man whose store logo looks like a feudal symbol.”

 

Sasuke actually smiled, and Naruto felt a little thrill of triumph.

 

“I find it brings all the slow-minded, nostalgic types in. Good for business.”

 

Naruto chuckled, at himself as much as at Sasuke’s riposte. He found that he was both irritated by Sasuke’s fast retorts and impressed by them. Naruto had many close friends. Even in the midst of the divorce, he had known that he could send out a distress call and have it answered by a dozen people immediately. Sparring verbally with Sasuke, though, made him feel as if he’d been missing something.

 

 _Makes you wonder how it’d be to spar_ physically _with him, doesn’t it?_ His inner voice taunted. Naruto knew for a fact that he was blushing, now. From the way Sasuke smirked and looked away, he knew it, too.

 

Sasuke’s voice broke into his discomfort. “I have an idea.”

 

“What idea is that? Being polite to your customers instead of insulting their children’s taste in history?” Naruto grinned to see Sasuke smile again.

 

“No, that option remains on the table. It’s one of the perks of self-employment. I have an idea for your choice of reading materials for your son,” he said. “Come this way.”

 

Naruto trailed after Sasuke, taking in his tall, lean form. He wore grey, woolen trousers and a dark blue sateen shirt this time. Naruto appreciated the way the trousers fit his hips. An unwanted heat formed in his veins. He had never leered at anyone before. Sure, he’d taken a second glance at a well-toned model in a perfume ad, or pay a little too much attention to a soccer player on tv. Never, though, had he stared after a person he knew like this. He shook his head to clear his thoughts. The corpse of his marriage was still slightly warm, and he was _leering_ at other people, already.

 

 _I never figured you had this inside of you,_ his inner voice chuckled.

 

Sasuke had led them to a doorway Naruto hadn’t noticed during his initial survey of the store. He watched as Sasuke bent and removed his shoes, and he followed suit. A noren parted to lead them into a traditional, tatami-floored room. Swords of all kinds hung on the walls, along with staves and fans.

 

“Wow,” Naruto breathed appreciatively. “Do you know iaido?”

 

He felt Sasuke's eyes on him, analyzing his response as he took in the room. He barely caught Sasuke’s little ghost of a smile when he turned back to face him.

 

“I don’t know that anyone can ever truly say they know it,” Sasuke murmured. “I know more than the average person. Encyclopedias could be written with what I don’t know, I’m sure.”

Naruto cocked his head and peered at Sasuke. Surely, a man like Sasuke could rightfully be arrogant. He was not just handsome, but heartbreakingly beautiful. From the little bit of time Naruto had spent with him, he could tell that he was highly intelligent. That statement, though, didn't seem arrogant.

 

“I always wanted to learn more about iaido,” Naruto said softly, looking around again.

 

“I always _do_ want to learn more about it,” Sasuke replied. “There is always more to learn. Maybe your son would enjoy learning about it, as well.”

 

Naruto faced Sasuke excitedly. “You’re a genius!” he enthused. “I know he would. He’s excellent at both karate and judo, and with his interest in the samurai, iaido would be a natural fit.”

“Most of these books are from my own collection, but I’ve read them. Would you like me to choose a book that would teach him the beginning principles and history of the art?” Sasuke asked.

 

“Wow, Sasuke, that’s awesome! Yeah, please do that,” Naruto replied. “I’ll pay whatever. I kinda owe him one. Or one hundred.”

 

“Hn. No charge. Like I said, these are used books.”

 

“No, no, no. I insist.”

 

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. “Don’t be an idiot.” He strode to the end of the tatami room and slid a screen aside to reveal a narrow cupboard filled with books. He looked for a while before finding two that he approved of.

 

He thrust the two books into Naruto’s hands. “Take this one. And take the _Hagakure_ translation, as well. I hope your son enjoys them.”

 

Naruto looked down at the books and smiled. His fingers brushed Sasuke’s as he took them into his own hands. The unintended contact made his fingertips tingle. He felt inordinately happy that Sasuke hadn’t recoiled or moved away.

 

“Thank you, Sasuke. I know he will appreciate these.”

 

“Hn.” Sasuke’s ghost smile appeared and flickered away again. Naruto wondered if Sasuke ever grinned with abandon. If so, he wanted badly to see it. More than that, he wanted to cause it.

 

The two men put on their shoes and returned to the storefront, where Naruto resentfully noticed a few women gazing into the window. He was embarrassed to realize that he didn’t want to compete with them for Sasuke’s attention.

 

“Naruto.”

 

_That voice…_

 

“Please turn the “open” sign around,” Sasuke asked him from the back of the store. All too triumphantly, Naruto strode to the door and flipped the sign around, smiling at the women who were preparing to enter Tomoe. They turned around, disappointed, and walked off.

“Sorry if I’ve kept you past your closing time,” Naruto said, turning back to face Sasuke.

 

“Not at all. I close at lunch time on Saturdays,” Sasuke said as he locked up the till.

 

Naruto felt that the tenuous moment was about to leap from his hands like a shimmering trout he’d just barely managed to catch. He had thought of Sasuke more than once since first meeting him on Monday, and he couldn’t believe his good luck at running into him again so soon. He didn’t want to surrender that feeling just yet.

 

“Hey, Sasuke?”

 

“Hn.”

 

“Do you want to get lunch? It’s on me,” Naruto asked nervously.  "I would like to thank you properly for dealing with me on Monday night.  And for the books."

 

Sasuke didn't look up from what he was doing, nor did he answer right away.  Just as Naruto's hopes began to sink, Sasuke, still looking down, muttered, "That's fine."

 

A thrill of elation made Naruto's hands tremble, yet he stood stock still as if he were trying not to scare away a feral cat.

 

_Aw. Look at you, all nervous. Afraid that pretty, pretty man is going to change his mind and bolt?_

 

He ground his teeth, trying to quell his inner doubts. Sasuke interrupted his internal dialogue.

 

“Where would you like to go?”

 

Naruto jumped. “Uh. Well, I dunno. What do you like to eat? You should choose.”

 

Sasuke didn’t answer right away. He walked to the front door and held it open for Naruto. Naruto blinked in the bright, midday sun as exited the store.

 

“Do you like Italian?” Sasuke asked.

 

“I like pretty much everything, especially if it’s heavy on the salt and the fat,” Naruto replied.

 

“Why did I have the feeling that would be the case?” Sasuke taunted.

 

“Shut up, asshole. Where is a good Italian place around here?”

 

“There’s not one here, but if we drive just a little way out of town there’s a place.”

 

“I, uh, sorta walked here today,” said Naruto.

 

“Then by default, I drive.” Sasuke seemed to be amused by Naruto’s unease. “Here we are,” he said, motioning towards the black Lexus parked right out front.

 

Sasuke’s car felt like an intimate little cloister. As Sasuke shifted gears, Naruto thought of how easy it would be to just reach across the console and brush his hand. It was a peculiar kind of torment, having the object of his attraction so close and yet not be able to touch him.

 

_Puberty catches up to the best of us, kid._

 

Naruto laughed aloud at the thought. Sasuke glanced sidelong at him and smirked. “Care to share your joke with the rest of the class?”

 

“Nah. I’ll keep this one to myself,” Naruto responded, grinning. “It was stupid and irrelevant anyway.”

 

“Do you know any other kind?” Sasuke goaded. Naruto laughed again.

"You're such an asshole," he said, and playfully slapped Sasuke's arm.  Sasuke himself smiled just a bit more than he smirked.

Naruto found he didn't mind feeling as awkward as a teenager.

_Beats the hell outta half alive._

Naruto couldn’t have agreed any more with his dark side than he did just then.

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simple joys, complicated emotions.

Sasuke glanced over at Naruto a few times as he drove. Naruto was undeniably attractive, from a purely objective standpoint. The tee shirt he wore (orange, again) clung around his arms and chest, showing off the clearly defined muscles. It looked as if he worked out regularly, but not obsessively. His waist was thicker than Sasuke’s own, but still trim. His navy blue track pants revealed a firm posterior, too; Sasuke had taken note of the fact when Naruto had first walked into Tomoe.

 

His skin glowed, tan with pink undertones, and his blond hair gleamed. He was the picture of radiant health from head to toe. Sasuke was most transfixed by Naruto’s eyes.

 

They were a shade of blue he’d never seen before, incomparably bright. They were almond shaped and wide set, and huge, giving him a wild, but innocent look. Sasuke laughed internally at the thought of Naruto as a feral child.

 

His discussion with Kurenai had awakened his curiosity. He had never given in to attraction. He’d only consciously felt it for one person, one person whom he never could have had. He knew Kurenai had hoped for him to explore this emotion, but he’d felt his blood run cold when he saw Naruto walk through his door. He had wanted to hide, and for a few moments, he’d given himself that luxury.

 

The idea of being bested by a neurochemical dance did not sit well with him, though, so he ventured out, first to fill his eyes with the man who had been tormenting him unawares for almost a week, and then to actually talk to him. Naruto had blushed when Sasuke started talking to him. In the past, Sasuke would have filed this away for future reference.

 

With Naruto in front of him, though, his eyes wide and blue and his face flushing, Sasuke was nothing but charmed. And, if he were to be completely honest, gratified. There was something alluring about having the ability to affect Naruto when Naruto had affected him so strongly.

 

He’d enjoyed showing Naruto his private training room, too, a place he hadn’t even shown Sakara or Sarada. He wondered if Naruto practiced any martial arts, then wondered what it would be like to train with him. He enjoyed volleying insults back and forth with Naruto, a habit he’d never picked up with anyone else. Maybe physically fighting with him would be enjoyable, too. Sasuke hadn’t had a worthy opponent to train with in years. The idea of training with Naruto seemed thrilling.

 

He was looking out the window, smiling to himself, with his face propped against his hand when Sasuke interrupted the silence; the sunlight played so beautifully in his hair. Sasuke had never realized that there were so many shades of blond.

 

“That song you were trying to sing the other night...” Sasuke started.

 

“Oh, remind me of my drunken escapades again, why don’t you?” Naruto laughed.

 

“It’s the Smiths.”

 

“Yeah, duh. I know the song, obviously.”

 

“It really wasn’t _obvious_ from the way you were butchering it.”

 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, congratulations on not looking like a bat today, Goth Father.”

 

“Goth Father. Says the man who listens to the Smiths.”

 

“The Smiths aren’t goth, jerk. Get it right.”

 

It was a stupid, childish argument. It was silly and meaningless, and Sasuke hated meaninglessness and small talk, generally. Still, it felt comforting. He wondered if this was what it felt like to be a kid. He had never had these kinds of interactions when he actually was one.

 

“My friend likes the Smiths. But I’d never heard that song before.”

 

“Yeah? Your friend has good taste,” Naruto replied. “That’s a great song, by the way.”

 

“It’s not bad,” Sasuke allowed. He had listened to it at least a dozen times since his session with Kurenai, at first academically, as if it would give him a clue into who Naruto was, and then because it reminded him of Naruto, and finally, he had conceded that he liked it, too.

 

“What music do you like?” Naruto’s question stunned him. He’d never really considered it. He’d always just absorbed or tuned out whatever was around him.

 

“I don’t really listen to music much,” Sasuke admitted.

 

“What?” Naruto seemed genuinely surprised. “How can you not? I mean, you work out, don’t you? What do you listen to, then?”

 

Sasuke felt warm inside. Naruto had noticed that he worked out. “I don’t. I listen to the news or I just think.”

 

“What about your kid? Your kid has to listen to something, right?”

 

Sasuke sighed in frustration. His light mood dissipated with the innocent question. “I don’t really know,” he answered.

 

“Yeah, I guess most kids keep their earphones in, so how would you know? I know what my son listens to because he likes to broadcast it when I have to work at home. Or, you know, when I used to work at home...”

 

Naruto trailed off, and Sasuke realized that the subject of offspring was difficult for both of them. Naruto had admitted this much to him over breakfast on Tuesday morning.

 

Sasuke cleared his throat. “You at least were home with him,” he said quietly.

 

Naruto looked at him inquisitively. Sasuke said nothing else until they had arrived at the restaurant.

 

“Here we are,” he said, as he pulled up in front of the nondescript building. He watched for Naruto’s expression. To his surprise, Naruto’s eyes got even bigger, and he grinned excitedly. “Have you been here before?” Sasuke asked him.

 

“No. But this looks like the kind of place that would be really great!”

 

Unable to help himself, Sasuke smiled. “How do you figure?”

 

“Look at this place,” Naruto said, gesturing to the plain storefront. “It doesn’t look fancy, and it’s out of the way, so you know that the people here must really love to cook and must really be good at it. Because it wouldn’t survive out here if it weren’t good enough for people like you to come back to, you know?”

 

Sasuke found this reasoning to be odd, but also oddly sound. He had been coming here ever since he had returned to Konoha, and it was one of his favorite places.

 

“They serve genuine Italian food, here,” he told Naruto. “Nothing like Olive Garden or something like that. So you can get something fatty and salty if it suits, but that’s not all that is available.”

 

“I love Italian,” Naruto said with open enthusiasm. Sasuke couldn’t recall the last time he’d met an adult who was so enthusiastic about so many things, or who expressed those enthusiasms so freely.

 

The hostess was not surprised to see Sasuke, but her cheeks reddened when she noticed Naruto. He wondered if Naruto was aware of his magnetism. “Do you want your usual for carryout?” she asked, addressing Sasuke.

 

“We’ll be dining in this afternoon,” Sasuke answered. “The two of us.” He noticed her eyes flitting from him to Naruto and back again, as if she were trying to discreetly size up their relationship.

 

“Do you want to sit inside or outside?” She asked politely.   


“Let’s sit outside, Sasuke!” Naruto said. “It’s such a pretty day!”

 

The hostess continued to look at Sasuke questioningly. “Outside it is, then,” he said dryly. It amused him to see how awed the girl was, not only by Naruto, but by the contrast of the two of them together. It felt a little heady to be out with such a handsome man.

 

Experimentally, Sasuke put his hand on the small of Naruto’s back to guide him towards the patio as they followed the hostess. To his delight, Naruto shuddered just ever so slightly—not enough to be noticeable to anyone who didn’t have their hands on him. He smiled to himself, feeling his ego swell at Naruto’s response to his touch. He suppressed his own shudder when he realized how much he loved touching this part of Naruto; he could move his hand either way, should he wish to, and explore either the curve of his spine or the swell of his ass. Thoughts Sasuke had never once entertained flashed through his brain in rapid succession before they’d even arrived at their table.

 

“Sasuke!” Naruto cried happily. “You didn’t tell me the restaurant was on the water!”

 

Sasuke smiled again. Such little things excited Naruto. The beach was nothing new for residents of Konoha, who lived only minutes away. Yet Naruto was shrieking like a little kid on vacation.

 

The hostess blushed and smiled again, and Sasuke could tell she was still calculating whether he and Naruto were a couple, or whether she might have a chance with the handsome blond man with the pretty blue eyes and the world’s most beautiful smile.

 

 _Yes_ , he decided, _this is attraction. It feels… good._

 

Sasuke was pleased that there weren’t many people at the restaurant today. He usually took his food back home to eat in solitude, and though he liked being there with Naruto, he didn’t feel like sharing their time with a crowded house. They were the only two people on the patio, and that suited Sasuke fine.

 

He didn’t bother to open his menu, because he always ordered the same thing. Naruto, he noticed, was frowning at the menu, squinting at it and holding it away from his face.

 

“Should I have asked them for a picture menu?” he asked piquantly.

 

“Jerk,” Naruto said, without a trace of offense. He fumbled in his pocket and withdrew a pair of reading glasses. “Damned impending middle age. I can’t get used to my eyes fucking up.”

 

“Get your eyes examined now. Glasses will be an adjustment, but once you’ve made the adjustment, it will be like seeing through new eyes,” Sasuke advised.

 

“Easy for you to say, Mr. 20-20,” Naruto grumbled.

 

Sasuke rolled his eyes and fixed Naruto with a withering glare. “Do they not have such things as contacts on your planet?”

 

“You wear contacts? No way!” Naruto leaned over the table, staring into Sasuke’s eyes intently. “Your eyes are so pretty, no way you’re wearing contacts!”

 

Sasuke’s face burned at the compliment. Naruto’s face was so close to his that he could feel his breath. He fought the urge to squirm in his seat, opting instead to sit back and whip his menu up in front of his face.

 

“Do you know what you want?” he asked Naruto, careful to keep his voice casual and even.

 

“Uhm, do they have lasagna here?” Naruto asked hopefully.

 

“Pfft. You don’t come to Villa Fiorini and order lasagna,” Sasuke answered disdainfully.

 

Naruto smirked. “Ok, then, Mr. World Traveler, _sir,_ what would you recommend?”

 

“For you? Probably the chicken nuggets and fries that come with the crayons and miniature coloring book.”

 

“All right, asshole, I can handle something more sophisticated than chicken nuggets,” Naruto bit back playfully.

 

Sasuke looked at Naruto. “Do you trust me?”

 

Naruto grinned. “I think I’ve demonstrated that I do.”

 

“Do you have any food allergies or serious food aversions?”

 

“I refuse to eat anything that is still alive or wriggling,” Naruto said, scrunching up his nose. “Other than that, I really just love food.”

 

“Do you have a couple of hours?” Sasuke asked.

 

Naruto looked at him curiously. “Yeah, sure, I can spend a couple of hours.”

 

“Give me your menu,” Sasuke said. “Don’t look at it, just hand it over.”

 

Naruto looked hesitant, but he handed his menu over anyway. Sasuke raised a hand to signal to the waitress who was glancing through the door. The hostess whispered something to her and she strode out to the patio eagerly.

 

“Yes, sirs? Would you like to order drinks or appetizers?”

 

“We would like to order our entire meal,” Sasuke answered smoothly. But we’re going to take a lot of time. Is that alright?”

 

“Of course!” she answered, looking from one man to the other.

 

“We are going to start with a caprese salad, and with the mussel soup. One of each. We’ll order the next course when we’re finished,” he said authoritatively.

 

“Yes, sir. And to drink?”

 

“Two glasses of house white.”

 

The waitress walked briskly back towards the kitchen. “You said you really like food,” Sasuke said. “I hope you weren’t lying.”

 

Naruto leaned back in his chair and stretched. “You have no idea, Sasuke,” he said.

 

Sasuke felt a fluttering sensation in his stomach when Naruto said his name. “Then don’t load up on the bread. You’ll regret it if you do,” he warned Naruto. “Same for the wine. Sip slowly. You are not going to want to be too full or too tipsy to appreciate this meal.”

 

“I love things like this,” Naruto said with a contented sigh.

 

“Things like what?”

 

“I love getting to know people through what they like, especially if what they like is food. And learning something new in a cool environment.” Naruto clasped his hands, elbows on the table, and propped his chin on them. He smiled happily. It was a contrast to the weepy man Sasuke had met in the bar only a few days ago; he wondered what the difference was, weighed the possibility that it had anything to do with him. He felt a bit selfish hoping that it did.

 

Their wine arrived, along with a plate of bread and a saucer of olive oil. The two men sipped their wine and sampled the bread in companionable silence as the waves crashed to the shore beyond them. Sasuke felt so many alien emotions. It had been so long—longer than he could remember—since he had found enjoyment in anything other than training, cooking, or eating. Sometimes, there was a fleeting sense of camaraderie that he felt with Sakura, as if they were two soldiers sharing a mission. Life always had a way of interrupting that camaraderie, though, and Sasuke felt a moment of panic when he realized he didn’t want anything to tarnish this moment with Naruto.

 

He didn’t feel compelled to cater to Naruto, because Naruto himself was so easy to please. He didn’t feel the need to reel in is irascibility or his tendency towards dry humor with Naruto, because Naruto took it in stride. And—Naruto’s enjoyment and easy-going nature soothed Sasuke, who found most people’s motivations suspect.

 

The salad arrived first, and he laughed as Naruto proclaimed about how good the cheese was. He’d never known someone who got so excited about cheese; when he told Naruto this, Naruto just protested. “But this is so much better than any mozzarella I’ve ever had! Seriously, Sasuke, this is so good and creamy.”

 

The soup arrived without the requested extra bowl. Sasuke irritably raised his hand to wave down the waitress, but Naruto stopped him. “She’s got extra customers inside, Sasuke. It’s no big deal. We’ll share.”

 

Thus began the frustratingly enticing project of actually feeding Naruto, a feat that was all the more precarious because Naruto moaned almost orgasmically when he tasted the first mussel. Sasuke felt the color blossom in his cheeks as he lifted one spoonful of soup after another to Naruto’s lips.

 

“Damn, Sasuke,” he said breathlessly. “That is so unbelievable.” Despite the fact that this was Sasuke’s favorite dish from the restaurant, he had allowed Naruto to drink all the broth from the bowl. It was completely worthwhile to have such a sensual, sated Naruto across from him, blissfully licking his lips. Sasuke blinked, somewhat dazedly. Sharing a meal had never been such an intense experience.

 

He called the waitress back over. “Please give us the spinach ravioli in mushroom cream sauce. One order. _Two plates,”_ he stressed. While feeding Naruto had been exciting and new, he wasn’t ready to push himself any further into that territory. He needed to regain some of his composure, because having Naruto moaning and licking his lips and taking food literally from Sasuke’s hand had left him feeling more than a little undone.

 

“Spinach?” Naruto asked. He pouted. Sasuke just smirked.

 

“I did ask if you had any aversions,” he reminded Naruto.

 

“Yeah, but I couldn’t remember at the time because I was so hungry!” he argued back petulantly. This made Sasuke smile deviously.

 

“You’re going to eat it. And what’s more, you’re going to _like it,_ Naruto.” Sasuke noticed how Naruto’s name had its own mouthfeel, like a bright wine with a spicy finish. He bit his lip. He would have to be more restrained if he didn’t want to make a total fool of himself. Naruto sighed dramatically, unaware of Sasuke’s inner battle.

 

“Ok, fine, if you insist.”

 

“I do insist,” Sasuke said shortly. “I’ve taken your affinity for salt and fat into consideration. In return, you will do me the courtesy of eating a dish that has a small amount of an actual vegetable in it. I don’t think you ate anything other than cheese when the salad came out.”

 

Naruto grinned, and Sasuke was again reminded of how feral and childlike he could look.

 

When the pasta arrived, Sasuke carefully doled out the ravioli between their plates. “This isn’t the main course, Naruto, so pace yourself,” he admonished.

 

“What? Not the main course? You mean there’s more?”

 

“Yes, there’s more. So eat slowly, ok? We would just get a few ravioli each if we were at a fine restaurant in Italy.”

 

“You’ve been to Italy?”

 

“Yes, a long time ago.”

 

“I really want to go.”

 

“Hn. The best part is the food,” Sasuke mumbled. He hadn’t been able to enjoy a traditional Italian vacation when he’d been in Italy; the restaurants had been the one bright spot.

 

Mindful of the spinach, Naruto took a cautious bite of his ravioli. If the mussels had been dangerous to Sasuke’s equilibrium, this was worse. Naruto threw his head back. “Oh, god, Sasuke,” he groaned, “you were so right.” He raised his head and looked at Sasuke through half-lidded eyes. “I will never bitch about spinach again.”

 

Sasuke cleared his throat and straightened his back. “It’s a respectable vegetable if it’s prepared right. Remember what I said. Pace yourself.” He called the waitress back over and whispered the last of their order to her.

 

It was satisfying to see Naruto attack the osso bucco Sasuke had requested. Sasuke hadn’t realized, before Naruto was sitting across from him in his favorite restaurant, how much good food had meant to him. An unbidden memory of his brother, heaping one serving of shellfish after another onto his plate before a night spent under the stars, crept into his mind. Sasuke pushed it back. He couldn’t handle that particular brand of sweetness, nor the bitterness that accompanied it. Not today.

 

Naruto heaved a great sigh and laid back, his head lolling over the back of his chair and his arms out at his sides. “I don’t think I can ever eat again.” He sounded so happy and carefree that it was easy enough to chase the unwelcome bitterness out of Sasuke’s mind.

 

“Don’t say that. You haven’t had your dessert yet.”

 

Naruto sat upright. “There’s _dessert?_ After all of _this?”_ He gaped at Sasuke in disbelief.

 

“Close your mouth, or you’ll have flies for dessert,” Sasuke twitted him. “Yes, there’s dessert. For you. Coffee, for me.”

 

“Aren’t you going to have any?” Naruto asked.

 

“I don’t like sweet things.”

 

“You should try it some time. You could stand to be a little sweeter,” Naruto shot back.

 

“I am about as sweet as you could handle me right now,” Sasuke retorted.

 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’m about to get diabetes from spending so much time with you.”

 

Sasuke grinned and looked down. When he looked back up, Naruto was eyeing him with lazy curiosity.

 

“What’d you order, ‘Ske?” he asked through a yawn.

 

“Not telling. You promised to trust me.”

 

The playful pout appeared again, and Sasuke found himself looking at Naruto’s lips. They were exactly perfect—slightly pink—and his lower lip was full and plump. Sasuke had to look away quickly before his thoughts betrayed his fascination. He felt dizzy and uncertain. Being with Naruto made him feel as if he’d been drugged, as if his vital signs were going crazy from all the highs and lows. He wondered if this was why some people liked roller coasters or sleeping around. He didn’t know if he liked it or not, but it was compelling.

 

When the waitress brought out Naruto’s tiramisu, he grinned at her, and Sasuke thought she’d spontaneously combust. He knew how she felt.

 

“Eat this with the cappuccino. _Don’t_ put any sugar in that coffee, Naruto,” he said sternly.

 

“If you insist,” Naruto sighed with mock resignation. After his first bite, his eyes rolled back in his head. “Sasuke… this is amazing,” he murmured. “I’ve never had tiramisu this good before.”

 

“It’s because they use the good cheese,” Sasuke replied with a cough.

 

“This is _cheese?”_ Naruto asked around a mouthful of the dessert.

 

“Yes, Naruto, it’s actually cheese. Just not a savory cheese like most Americans are used to. You’ve had cheesecake, yes? Same concept.”

 

“Shit. Sasuke, this is probably the best lunch I’ve had in my entire life,” Naruto said happily. “But you’re really missing out on this tiramisu. Here. Have a bite.”

 

Before Sasuke could stop him, Naruto was thrusting a spoonful of tiramisu at his mouth.

 

“Naruto, no. I don’t like sweets,” Sasuke said irritably.

 

“Trust me, Sasuke, you have to taste this!” Naruto insisted. “Open up.”

 

“No, Naruto!” Sasuke groaned. “I don’t like...”

 

“Shut up, asshole, and try it. I tried the spinach for you.”

 

Sasuke glared at Naruto, but complied, because the spoon was threatening to spill down Sasuke’s dress shirt. He opened his mouth just wide enough for Naruto to put the end of the spoon in, then clamped his lips shut so Naruto couldn’t force the entire spoon of dessert onto him. To his chagrin, Naruto grinned triumphantly as he withdrew the spoon.

 

Sasuke’s face drew up in distaste. He took a deep drink of cappuccino to chase the sweetness from his taste buds. Naruto looked at him somewhat bashfully, his cheeks pink. Sasuke held his gaze, aggravated at having had the dessert foisted onto him.

 

“What are you looking at, idiot?” he mumbled.

 

Naruto blinked. “You have some tiramisu… right near your mouth… here...”

 

Before Sasuke could think, Naruto leaned over and wiped his face clean with his napkin. He had to force himself to look into Naruto’s eyes, and when he did, he felt the now-familiar vertigo with the same warmth that seemed to assault his senses whenever Naruto was in his space. He lifted his head up and glared dangerously into the blue, blue eyes of his antagonist.

 

Naruto just smiled. “You’re adorable when you pout,” he said as he sat back down. Sasuke couldn’t even think of a rejoinder.

 

It was both a relief and a disappointment when Naruto waved the waitress down for the check. Sasuke was glad to get away from the bizarre intensity of the meal they’d shared (how had lunch—even a really, really good lunch—become so very intimate?) and the way it made him feel naked and readable. He didn’t really want Naruto to leave, though (because when had anything—anything at all—been as simple and enjoyable as their protracted lunch break had been?).

 

Naruto signed off on the check, amid Sasuke’s protests. He didn’t feel that Naruto owed him for the night at the bar or breakfast the next day; if anything, he felt as if Naruto had done him a favor by being there. While Sasuke’s feelings for Naruto were complicated, Naruto himself was not. His directness and open demeanor made it easy to be with him.

 

He felt listlessness pervade his mind as he considered going about the rest of his day. As he stared out beyond their tables, a shadow came over him. When he looked up, Naruto was standing beside him, holding out his hand. “Let’s go walk on the beach,” he said, gripping Sasuke’s hand and helping him up.

 

“Hn.” He was grateful to Naruto for giving him just a little more time to feel carefree. He wasn’t going to look too excited about it, though. As he glanced in at the glass door leading back into the restaurant, he saw the hostess and their waitress peering out, whispering conspiratorially. When they noticed Sasuke looking at them, they scurried away guiltily. His amusement chased his ambivalence away, and he walked purposefully towards the beach with Naruto.

 

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A walk on the beach, a date, and a song.

The waves lapped gently at the shore. Taking a walk had been the perfect suggestion; Sasuke usually only ate to the point of satiety, but he’d certainly overindulged. Movement cleared his mind and made the heaviness in his body less draining.

 

Naruto had taken off his shoes and rolled up his pants legs, and was jogging contentedly in the waves. Sasuke didn’t want his feet wet; furthermore, a little distance allowed him to observe Naruto easily. He walked where the sand had barely been dampened, keeping up with Naruto but maintaining a leisurely pace. Naruto was made for the beach, Sasuke decided, a definite child of the sun. His hair shined in the sun, and he grinned as the surf churned around his ankles. When he turned to face Sasuke, droplets of water were scattered over his face and body, and Sasuke realized that the ocean couldn’t compete with Naruto’s eyes for color.

 

“I love the beach. Don’t you?” Naruto said breezily.

 

“I do. But I prefer it at night.”

 

“It’s gorgeous at night, too,” Naruto agreed. “But there’s something so wonderful about a sunny day at the beach. It’s like… being a little kid again, but better, because you don’t have to go home until you’re ready.”

 

Sasuke smiled as Naruto looked towards the water. The silence that expanded between them was warm and comforting, and Sasuke welcomed it. He thought of Juugo, and the times that they had sat easily and amicably. Walking with Naruto on a beach was similar, but different. Something beyond mere acceptance, something magnetic, circulated between Sasuke and Naruto.

 

He didn’t mind when Naruto changed paths to walk alongside him. He listened to the waves hitting the shore, to the distant sound of children frolicking on the more sheltered beach ahead of them, to the calls of querulous seabirds diving for shells at low tide. It all felt perfect, elemental, rhythmic.

 

He became aware of Naruto looking at him, searching his face for answers.

 

"Sasuke.” Naruto said his name as if it were a complete sentence, noun, predicate, modifiers all in one.

 

“Yes, Naruto.”

 

“Tell me about your marriage.”

 

Sasuke couldn’t pretend that Naruto was an innocent, overgrown child. He was a man with a complicated history and life, much like Sasuke. He had a purity, though, that Sasuke envied, and while he didn’t mind the honest question, didn’t even mind surrendering the information he usually kept so close to his chest, it occurred to him that he didn’t want to taint Naruto with his history.

 

“We’ve talked about it before,” he said distantly.

 

“Yeah, you told me that your situation is the same as mine,” Naruto acknowledged. “But how did it happen? How did you figure it out?”

 

“That I was gay, or that my marriage was over?”

 

“I dunno. Either. Both,” Naruto said with a dry little laugh.

 

Sasuke sighed and suppressed a groan. “I never considered myself gay,” he answered. He stopped walking and looked out over the water, where the sun was announcing that it was getting ready to set.

 

“I never considered myself much of anything. Sakura had been infatuated with me since middle school, she was there. We got drunk together one night. The next morning, we were married, and unbeknownst to me, she was pregnant.”

 

Naruto listened attentively as he continued. “I wasn’t in love with Sakura, but I liked her enough, and trusted her enough to be a good mother. I wasn’t wrong.”

 

He looked down at the sand and scowled. “I knew she wanted more from me, because I gave her so little. I gave her my respect, but she wanted my love. And I was in love with someone else. I couldn’t be with the person I loved, but I couldn’t give that love for them to someone else, either. She ultimately figured it out. She realized that neither she, nor any other woman, any other person, was going to ever going to have the part of me that she wanted. She called an end to it. In between getting married and figuring that out, I didn’t make it easy for her or for our daughter. I was gone, working on things that I really couldn’t talk to Sakura about, for most of the time.”

 

Sasuke took a small breath before he continued. “I wasn’t just working overtime or coming home late. I seldom came home at all. I didn’t feel I had a choice; the work I was doing was a priority, and it had ramifications for my daughter and for my wife. I didn’t think my daughter really needed all that much from me. I wasn’t sure how to be a father, not a good one, in any event, so I assumed she would be just fine with someone strong like Sakura to raise her without interference aside from financial support. I was… wrong. When she ran away to find me late last year, I realized how important it was to her to know me.”

 

Naruto listened quietly. Sasuke squinted at the sun in his eyes. He had never discussed his marriage with anyone other than Kurenai, but he felt in some way that he owed Naruto the truth, so he kept going. “I had run away from Konoha as a teenager, and I never wanted to see it again, much less live within its limits. I came back to get to know my daughter. My wife, though, had had enough of a sham marriage, enough of trying to force our interactions when I was home, and we had a long talk. She pretty much had laid the foundations for our divorce in her mind already, so it was easy to agree to. I had no right to fight her about it.”

 

“So,” Naruto said quietly, “This person you loved. Was a man?”

 

“Yes,” Sasuke answered.

 

“But you didn’t know you were gay?” Naruto didn’t sound shocked, or appalled, just curious, as if he were trying to see how it might make his own situation more understandable.

 

“I thought I was only ever capable of loving that one person,” Sasuke answered. “If that person had been a woman, I would have still loved them, and I never would have considered anyone else.”

 

“But… you don’t like women.”

 

“No,” Sasuke agreed. “Not in the way that a woman wants to be liked by her husband.”

 

Naruto laughed easily at this, and Sasuke did, too. “Yeah, my wife would agree with you, there,” he said lightly.

 

Sasuke didn’t know how to communicate his feelings about his orientation. Prior to meeting Naruto, he’d only ever been _oriented_ towards one man, and he had felt that this was just a pronouncement of fate. He could see, now, that he certainly looked at men differently from the way he looked at women, even if it was to compare them to the incomparable.

 

Naruto bit his lip and scuffed his bare feet in the sand.

 

“Sasuke?” he queried softly. “Who were you in love with?”

 

Sasuke hadn’t been counting on this question. He smiled, but not lightly, not easily—not happily. He was still who he was, and who he was had a somewhat infernal drive to see how Naruto would react.

 

He looked Naruto in the eyes.

 

“My brother.”

 

Naruto’s eyes went round. “Oh,” he said.

 

“Shocked?” Sasuke prodded, somewhat bitterly.

 

“I dunno, maybe a little. But, not really,” Naruto said after a pause. “I mean, I don’t have brothers or sisters, and I never knew my family. I kinda think that you don’t get to choose who you love.”

 

“Hn.” Sasuke thought this over.

 

Naruto continued talking. “I mean, you wouldn’t be the first to feel an attraction for your sibling. It seems it’s kind of a common thing. There was a book… by that one guy who wrote the “Garp” novel… about a brother who was in love with his sister.”

 

Sasuke elbowed Naruto gently. “ _The Hotel New Hampshire_ , yes, by John Irving. But there was a lot more to that novel than that.”

 

Naruto shoved him back. “Asshole,” he said, grinning. “I didn’t like Irving’s books much, even though my godfather thought he was god’s gift to contemporary literature. I don’t remember much about _The Hotel New Hampshire_ except for the dude wanting to bang his sister.”

 

“Heh.” Sasuke laughed involuntarily. It sounded harsh, like a bark.

 

“What is your brother like?” Naruto asked. Sasuke took in his open face, his wide eyes and gentle smile. He didn’t seem to have any motive other than curiosity.

 

“He’s dead, for one thing.” Sasuke regretted the bitterness and sadness in his voice. He looked away from Naruto, but felt is hand come to rest on his shoulder.

 

“I’m really sorry,” he heard Naruto whisper earnestly. When he raised his head to look at Naruto again, he saw nothing other than sympathy.

 

The wind pushed errant bangs into Sasuke’s eyes. He swiped at them and breathed in. “Itachi was… singular. Gifted. A polymath and an autodidact _._ He was a highly regarded martial artist, but he was also a prodigy violinist and a very accomplished pianist.”

 

“A genius,” Naruto summed up.

 

“Yes. A genius. He was also very complicated, and very lonely.” Sasuke looked down the beach where a small child toddled after his older siblings, who were engrossed in their own pursuits. He felt a pressure behind his eyes, a familiar pressure, and the old heaviness over his heart.

 

“He was the first thing I ever knew about love. My very first memories were of Itachi—he was only four or five when I was born, but he carried me with him everywhere until he was sent to school. I used to play with his hair. I am sure I pulled it, but he never complained.” Sasuke smiled as he recalled twining the dark strands around his fingers and watching the sun burnish the streaks of mahogany in them.

 

“He sounds amazing and special,” Naruto said.

 

“Yes, he was both of those things.”

 

Naruto moved his hand and lowered it over Sasuke’s. “I wish you’d had more time with him,” he murmured quietly.

 

“Yeah, so do I,” Sasuke said with a heave. “But… he died when he was 21. I had just turned 16. And there was a lot I never got to know about him. I was obsessed with him for most of my life. Especially after he died.”

 

“Are you still?”

 

Sasuke turned his hand over, allowing his palm to touch Naruto’s and permitting Naruto to twine their fingers together. He considered the question.

 

“Hn.” He looked away again, as far out to sea as he could. “I still think about him a lot. But not like I once did. Not with the same intensity.”

 

He looked back at Naruto to gauge his reaction, but Naruto was now looking away, his features impassive. They sat this way for several seconds, each man lost in his own thoughts. Sasuke had never shared his feelings for Itachi with anyone other than Kurenai, not because he feared their judgment, but because pronouncing his love vocally made it sound unseemly and tawdry, and Sasuke didn’t feel that his adoration for his brother was worthy of such small and inadequate descriptions.

 

“Naruto,” he said, suddenly needing to clarify, “Itachi was my ideal. In some ways, the image I had of him wasn’t even real. But he was the nearest thing to perfection in my life.”

 

Naruto met his eyes and smiled. “You don’t have to explain or defend, Sasuke,” he responded. “That’s normal. Everyone has an ideal. That’s why people talk about girls marrying someone like their fathers or boys marrying a girl like the one who married dear old dad. It’s natural. And it’s beautiful. I’ve never felt that way about anyone. I kinda wish I had.”

 

His words shocked Sasuke, hitting him straight in his core. He just sat and stared at Naruto as his mind grappled with a response he hadn’t expected. While he was still mentally adjusting to Naruto’s words, Naruto stood, tugging Sasuke up with him.

 

“C’mon. I ate way too much. I need to work some of it off.”

 

Naruto didn’t release Sasuke’s hand immediately. Sasuke didn’t entirely mind.

 

“Your turn,” Sasuke said after they had walked a few feet. “Tell me your story.”

 

Naruto smiled and looked at him. “Where do you want me to start?” he asked.

 

“Wherever you want.”

 

Naruto inhaled and whistled the breath out through his lips. “Well. I was kind of the last kid standing growing up,” he said. “I never really fit in. I made sure that everyone paid for it, too. I was constantly in trouble. Until I was about 12, and suddenly, one teacher took an interest in me. Then, my godfather showed up, from out of the blue, so I didn’t have to live in foster care anymore. They made sure I trained in martial arts, and I found out I was good at it. Like, really, really good at it.”

 

Sasuke watched as Naruto smiled at the memories.

 

“Things got better when one of my teachers realized that I was not going to learn the way that our school was insisting on teaching me.”

 

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “Let me guess. Ultra-traditional, styled after a romanticized version of Japanese schools, super strict, with no tolerance for individualism?”

 

“Heh. Something like that,” Naruto affirmed. “Kakashi realized that I was way too hyper and way too movement-oriented to learn that way. He insisted on getting some psychometric testing done, and by the end of the day, I realized I wasn’t stupid. I just had ADHD. He worked with me one-on-one, and so did another teacher, Yamato. My grades immediately went up.”

 

Naruto kicked at the sand with his right foot. “This whole time, Hinata was just this timid little girl in my grade. I’d actually got my ass whipped for her a few times when we were little, because she was just such an easy target.” Naruto frowned and looked at Sasuke. “You know that thing in our culture? Maybe it’s widespread in immigrant communities, I don’t know. But people are so focused on fitting in and proving their worth that they have really strict standards for their kids.”

 

Sasuke nodded. Yes, he certainly knew something about this.

 

“Hinata couldn’t fit in. She wasn’t a troublemaker like me, and she didn’t have a bad family history like I did. Her family descended from feudal lords and legendary samurai. But she was timid, and she stuttered. She couldn’t perform at the other school in Konoha. You know the one? It’s Japanese-only instruction and most of the kids there can get a diploma in either Japan or the US.”

 

“Yes. I’m familiar with that school. I went to that one,” Sasuke answered.

 

“Her sister and her cousins all went to that school. But Hinata couldn’t perform, so she came to our school, instead. But she struggled there, too, and the teachers didn’t really mind her being bullied, because they felt that it would be good for our “character development.” Naruto scoffed and kicked the sand more forcefully.

 

“I always took up for Hinata. I didn’t realize that she looked up to me as much as she did. When I started with martial arts, she came to every tournament. She even trained harder, she told me later, because she said watching me struggle and achieve my victories meant she could keep trying, too.

 

When we were 18, she told me she loved me. She knew I wanted to become a teacher, and later an administrator, so I could change our school and make it where kids like us weren’t tormented just for being different. She encouraged me. A long time before my teachers saw my potential, or before my godfather took me under his wing, she had believed in me and cheered me on. When she said all of that, I felt like I just wanted to protect her and be good for her forever. So I asked her to marry me. I had no idea what romantic love was.”

 

Naruto made a face. “My godfather wrote romance novels.” He laughed a little at this admission. “I always found them disgusting. I didn’t want a love like that, and I’d never looked at women with any interest. I found some of my male friends fascinating, so maybe even I had crushes, but I never associated it with attraction. I just appreciated their skills and personalities. When I felt like I wanted to protect Hinata and provide for her, I thought that was what romantic love must be about.”

 

“I’m sure she had different ideas,” Sasuke said with a smirk.

 

Naruto laughed. “She sure did. But she didn’t tell me that. She just kept accepting me and supporting me and defending me to her parents and friends. We had kids right away. I worked and went to school, and we were both busy with the kids when I wasn’t in class or on the job, so it was easy to write off the lack of romance, then. Plus, she’d become a mother, and therefore more valuable in her family’s eyes, so the affirmation she got from them made my absence easier to overlook.” He kicked the sand again and scowled.

 

“It wasn’t until after I got my Ph.D. and was hired on as principal that things started to unwind. I had made my goal. She’d been counting on us having more time together and resting a little from the years of constant study and work. But I just put everything I had into the job. I didn’t want to go home and see her disappointed when I couldn’t look at her the way she wanted me to.”

 

Sasuke stared off ahead as he listened. Naruto’s story hadn’t been so dissimilar to his.

 

“She thought I was having an affair. I was so shocked. I’d never looked at anyone else. Hinata didn’t know that, though. All she knew was that I didn’t look at her the way she looked at me. She was the one who ended up suggesting that I was probably just not attracted to women at all. I realized when she said it that I wasn’t. Not even a little.”

 

He looked at Sasuke, and the sadness in his heart touched something long forgotten in Sasuke.

 

“I neglected my kids pretty badly,” Naruto said. “My son is so pissed off at me that he painted “asshole” over my portrait at the school.” Naruto’s laughter invited Sasuke to join in. Naruto was naturally confident, Sasuke could tell, but he also had a self-deprecating facet to his personality that made his confidence not only bearable, but likable.

 

The two of them continued to walk down the strand as the sun began to sink into the water. Talking to Naruto had been freeing, as had listening to him. There was so much Sasuke wanted to know about the blond-haired man who walked beside him. He wondered if there might be some way to inveigle more walks along the beach, more conversations. He supposed he could ask, but that would make it so easy for Naruto to deny him…

 

He shook off his discomfort. He’d only feared rejection from his father and from Itachi. He didn’t want to give that kind of power to another person. He withdrew his phone from his pocket to look at the time; it was time to end this afternoon of reverie, anyway.

 

“I have to pick up my daughter,” he said. It came out far more harshly than he’d intended.

 

“Ok,” Naruto said agreeably. They walked back towards the restaurant and Sasuke’s car. Both men were careful to dust the sand from their feet and and their pants before getting in.

 

“I suppose I need to take you back to your place,” Sasuke said, “since you didn’t drive to the shop today.”

 

“You can drop me anywhere,” Naruto said quietly. “I don’t mind walking.”

 

Sasuke pursed his lips. He didn’t know why Naruto’s offer bothered him, but like the ease with which he’d insulted himself on the first night they met, it infuriated him.

 

“I’m driving you back to your apartment,” Sasuke said with finality.

 

Naruto looked over at him, trying to suss out the change in mood, but Sasuke wouldn’t answer for it. Except for Naruto giving him directions to his apartment, they rode in silence for the rest of the way.

 

He noted that Naruto lived in one of the new, gated apartment complexes, the ones that were meant to entice families and downsizing empty-nesters. He wondered if Naruto had chosen the gated complex, or if his ex-wife had; had they thought it might be safer for their kids? Sasuke found the idea laughable.

 

“The code is 5157,” Naruto told him at the gate. Sasuke punched in the numbers and drove through when the gate slid aside. “I’m in Building 4.”

 

Soon enough, Building 4 loomed in front of them, and Sasuke found himself panicking. Once again, Naruto was going to get out of his car, and he would not see him until life brought them together again however it chose to. It hurt in a way that puzzled and angered him, most of all because he had no idea how to stop it from happening.

 

When they’d stopped, Naruto looked at him with his easy, magnetic smile and his bright eyes again. He linked the first two fingers of his left hand with the first two of Sasuke’s right and smiled even brighter. “I had a wonderful day today. Thanks so much. I know my son is going to love the books, too.”

 

“Don’t mention it,” Sasuke said heavily.

 

“I want to take you out, Sasuke,” he said, simple and direct. Sasuke swallowed.

 

“I close Tomoe tomorrow at 5 pm,” he said hoarsely. Naruto’s grin made him look sly and fox-like.

 

“I’ll be there.” He leaned over the console and pressed his lips briefly to Sasuke’s forehead before getting out of the car. Sasuke didn’t move, he just watched as Naruto bounded up the stairs of Building 4. He brought his hand, shaky and sweating, to his forehead, where the dampness from Naruto’s kiss still lingered.

 

His stomach felt as if it were doing somersaults, and his brain was filled with anticipation. Life hadn’t given him another opportunity to see Naruto, Naruto had given him one. And, he had kissed him.

 

Sasuke smiled broadly. His cheeks hurt, but he still smiled, all the way from Naruto’s apartment to his daughter’s judo lesson. He turned his stereo on, flipping through a very brief playlist before finding the song he wanted. He’d meant to mention it to Naruto before they had bickered and he had forgotten it.

 

_“And if a double-decker bus_

_crashes into us,_

_to die by your side_

_is such a heavenly way to die...”_

 

He had meant to tease Naruto about the senselessness and immaturity of such a sentiment, but instead, he found that it succinctly summed up how he felt in Naruto’s presence. He listened to it five times on the way home, his mind completely occupied by Naruto.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realize it seems uncharacteristic to many for Sasuke to feel giddy, romantic, or sentimental. However, in canon he never got to have a normal adolescence, and when a child's life is marked by trauma, the trauma tends to stall their emotional development. So even though Sasuke is a grade-A badass, emotionally, he's still a shy, awkward teenager who never learned how to navigate his first crush. So, yeah, he gets to have a belated teenage reaction to a hot guy when he's in his early 30s.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto and Sasuke go on their date.

Naruto had sailed through the day on a cocktail of heady anticipation and awkward nerves. Half of his wardrobe was scattered over his floor; he felt he had finally settled on something acceptable, a cobalt-blue button down shirt and dark grey dress slacks.

 He had barely slept the night before. He hadn’t left his apartment on Saturday morning planning to see Sasuke, much less go out for hours with him, much less still ask him out on a date.,

  _You always have been impulsive, little wild child._

 Naruto had never planned much in his life. He felt his most balanced when he was operating on impulse and instinct. When the wonderful day with Sasuke was winding down, he found he could not get out of his car without making plans to see him again. His instincts told him to ask Sasuke out. He had no idea where he was going to take him, now

 He had sat up at 6 am after a few intermittent hours of sleep, mind churning and nerves on high alert. To clear his mind, he dashed to the apartment gym and worked out for a couple of hours, then he had showered and done a few laps around the pool. He’d come back to his apartment and unpacked all but two small boxes of keepsakes, then he had cleaned out his car and taken it for a wash.

 After a long, hot shower, he felt he had a pretty good plan for the evening, but his nerves were still in overdrive. His pulse thrummed with the anticipation of seeing Sasuke again. There was so much more he wanted to know about him, so many more questions he wanted to ask.

 Naruto, though, had never done single life the way most people his age had. He and Hinata had not gone on many dates prior to their wedding, and those they did go on were arranged by her family. He had never dreamt of crossing the boundaries of propriety. It would have seemed disrespectful to the timid Hinata, and other than mild curiosity, he himself had no drive towards it.

 With Sasuke, he wanted to cross all kinds of boundaries. But he had no idea what rules about dating might exist, much less how dating a man might be different, etiquette-wise, from dating a woman. Google had provided him with nothing but confusion, as answers about the appropriate time for a first kiss or to hold hands varied wildly. Besides that, there seemed to be some sort of method for calculating which date to do certain things on. He didn’t know whether Saturday’s spontaneous outing counted as a date or not.

 What concerned Naruto the most was that he knew Sasuke was a man with a painful history, a history he’d only just touched upon in their conversations. He carried himself with a reserve and a distance that Naruto recognized from friends whose lives had been mangled by trauma. The last thing he wanted to do was cause Sasuke discomfort or unease. He certainly didn’t want to make him feel disrespected.

He looked himself over in the bathroom mirror. His hair was growing out, getting a little wild again, but it was too late to remedy that. He ran his hands through the stubborn blond strands with an irritated growl.

  _Someone’s getting mighty vain._

 “First impressions,” Naruto muttered.

  _You blew first impressions when you called the man a bat then cried on his shoulder._

 “First dates,” Naruto answered himself back. “How the hell does somebody do first dates?”

  _Try not to marry him three dates later and then decide you were wrong about your orientation 12 years on._

Naruto wrenched his face up at his reflection. "Not this time."  He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "This is about as good as it’s going to get.” He brushed his hands down the front of his pants one more time for good measure. One more stop to make before he saw Sasuke.

 

He didn’t much care for the upscale grocery store he stopped at ( _who the hell calls themselves a “green grocer” in the USA, he’d always wondered_ ), but he didn’t know where else to get what he needed. He wrinkled his nose as he walked through the floral department. The odor made him think of funerals.

The selection seemed scant. He despised carnations, of which there was a plethora. They had that horrible, funereal odor, and they always looked so sad and inferior. There was a scattering of roses. Red seemed wrong. He’d heard that it meant “passion,” and while he didn’t want to discount the possibility, it seemed weird to insinuate it at the beginning of a date. White, however, symbolized purity, and that was not the idea Naruto wanted to put into Sasuke’s mind, either. Pink seemed… well, it seemed wrong for a man who wore dark colors and seemed to have a frisson of danger about him.

Naruto finally settled on a nosegay of six small, salmon-colored spray roses. Surely this couldn’t be misinterpreted, he thought. It was bright, it wasn’t sepulchral, and it didn’t seem to presume either sex or chastity.

_You gonna throw your jacket over mud puddles for him, too?_

He shook his head at the thought. Sasuke deserved a perfect date, as perfect as he could possibly make it, and if that meant trying to figure out the damnably esoteric language of supermarket flowers, then so be it. Maybe he was being stupid. Maybe Sasuke would hate getting flowers. He probably would. Still, though, he’d know that Naruto was making an effort—and effort had always been the most important part of Naruto’s success in any endeavor. And some pretty little flowers, that signified neither passion nor purity nor, certainly, death, Naruto thought, would tell Sasuke that he valued him as a friend and as an object of attraction.

The cashier beamed at him when he checked out. “Oooh, a happy lady's getting flowers,” she cooed. Naruto felt his face go red. “Is it your anniversary or your wife's birthday?”

 Naruto ran his hands through his hair and smiled. “No lady. I mean, no reason. Just… ah… I liked them,” he mumbled.

 The cashier looked at him oddly.

  _You’re a smooth talker, Casanova._

 “Heh.” Naruto laughed nervously, only too happy to get his flowers and receipt so he could exit. He was reasonably certain he’d never come back here again.

 

He arrived at Tomoe right at 5 pm. As he walked into the door, he could see Sasuke talking to an elderly lady at one of the displays. Naruto’s heart sped up. This meant that the countdown to their first planned date was on hold; that meant more time for his hands to perspire and his mouth to go dry. More time for second-guesses, more time for his infernal internal dialogue, more time for Sasuke to get cold feet.

 Sasuke glanced up from his customer as he walked in. He acknowledged Naruto with a sharp nod and a brief upturn of his lips before responding to the customer’s questions. Naruto couldn’t hear what they were saying; his heart was beating far too loudly. His body responded instantly to the rich, deep tone of Sasuke's voice, though.

Naruto busied himself by thumbing absently some books on Japanese gardening, since Sasuke’s customer seemed to have a lot of questions. He couldn’t decide whether he was relieved, having more time to collect himself, or irritated, because he had been dying to talk to Sasuke since they’d parted the night before.

A creaking, high-pitched voice broke into his thoughts. “What a handsome young man!

 He turned to see Sasuke’s customer grinning up at him, her bundle of books clutched in her gnarled hands.  "Some lucky gal is in for a good night! Got a handsome fella coming home with pretty flowers. You could kill a girl, you know. Those blue eyes could hypnotize anybody.” She smiled as she stretched a hand up to pinch Naruto’s cheek. He smiled, even as he blushed.

 “A beautiful compliment from a beautiful lady,” he said, bowing slightly.

She beamed at him delightedly before she toddled out the door, laughing and mumbling about blue eyes and handsome men and pretty, pretty flowers. Naruto turned to find Sasuke looking at him amusedly, his black eyes gleaming.

 “Maybe I should have you stand in the doorway to draw in all the lucky gals,” he jabbed at Naruto.

Naruto laughed and looked him over. Today, he was wearing sharply creased black trousers, a matching vest, and a burgundy shirt with a black tie. Naruto wondered if he had worn the tie for their date; he hadn’t seen him wear one before.

 “I don’t think you have any problems drawing in the gals, yourself,” Naruto said appreciatively. “Or the guys, for that matter.” He felt stupid as soon as he’d said it. Sasuke colored and looked away.

 After a moment full of tense expectation, Sasuke cleared his throat. “Which lucky gal are the flowers for?” he asked.

 Naruto smiled and looked down. “You, actually.” He looked up and held the bouquet out to Sasuke, who raised one eyebrow in response.

 “Well, it’s not like you’re a lady. But. They’re for you.”

Sasuke took the bouquet and looked at the roses with an inscrutable expression in his black eyes.

 “Orange. Of course,” he said wryly. “Thank you.”

 “Jerk. They’re not orange, they’re pinky-orange-salmon something,” Naruto protested.

 “If you insist,” Sasuke said, crossing his arms over his chest and offering Naruto a brief smile. “I’m going to close up shop. It shouldn’t take me long.”

 Naruto nodded and looked around. He liked Tomoe, especially since he knew that Sasuke’s secret training room was just beyond the sales floor. The fact that someone like Sasuke, so enigmatic and mysterious, could somehow be a bookseller in a sunlit store added a layer of intrigue to the man in Naruto’s mind. He wished he could read Sasuke the way he might read the books on the shelves; he had the feeling that even if he could, Sasuke would remain essentially beyond his comprehension.

The few moments Sasuke took to close the shop felt like a small eternity to Naruto, but at last, Sasuke was holding the front door open, the late afternoon sunlight streaming around him from behind. Naruto experienced a moment of vertigo, realizing that he was about to take the extraordinary man in front of him out on a date. He dazedly stepped out of the darkened shop.

When he opened Sasuke's car door for him, he was pleased that he’d cleaned out his car and had it washed. Sasuke was dispassionately examining the roses when Naruto slipped behind the wheel. He wasn’t sure yet what Sasuke thought of the flowers. He hoped it hadn’t been a misstep.

 “Where are we going tonight?” Sasuke inquired.

 Naruto grinned at Sasuke and responded with a question. “Do you trust me?”

 Sasuke raised his eyebrows. “I am not entirely sure.”

 “Then,” said Naruto, “maybe you’d better tell me if you have any allergies or any serious aversions. I also hope you brought a crash helmet and a pen to sign the waiver.”

 “Heh.” Sasuke glanced at Naruto in amusement. “As for food, nothing that’s still alive or wriggling.”

 Hearing his words echoed back to him from Sasuke’s lips brought a rush of pleasure over Naruto. He realized that Sasuke had listened to him the yesterday and had thought of the things he'd said.

 “Everything I intend to feed you will be fully dead and stationary. I was going to take you to Chuck-E-Cheeze, since they have picture menus, but I hope you’ll like my second choice just as much,” he jabbed back at Sasuke. He was rewarded with one of the funny little phantom smiles that he found so compelling.

 

“Here we are,” he said, bringing the car to a stop. “I really do hope you like it here. This is one of my favorite restaurants.”

 Sasuke said nothing, and Naruto couldn’t read his face. The jitters he’d suppressed on the ride over were now undeniable. He toyed with the idea of opening Sasuke’s car door for him, then thought better of it. It did not seem to be a gesture that he would appreciate. When they reached the door of the restaurant, Naruto held it open, allowing Sasuke to walk in front of him. He inhaled deeply. The aroma comforted and emboldened him. He briefly placed his hand on the small of Sasuke’s back,

They were greeted by a sari-clad elderly woman with a wide, bright smile. “Welcome to the Banana Leaf! How many are in your…”

 She trailed off upon seeing Naruto. “Naruto, behta! How are you doing?" She cried. "It has been so long since we’ve seen you!” She flew to Naruto and placed her hands on his shoulders.

 “It’s good to see you, Amma,” he murmured. “I hope you’re doing well.”

 “Any time we see you, we are happy,” she replied. “Papa, Ranvir, look! Naruto’s here!”

 “Naruto! It’s been too long!”

 “Naruto-bhai!”

 Naruto grinned at the elderly man and his son as they came forward to greet him with hugs. He hadn’t been here in several months, but coming here had always felt a little like coming home. He hoped Sasuke did not feel embarrassed or left out.

 “Did you bring your family tonight?” the younger man asked him.

 Naruto winced. They had all ignored Sasuke as soon as they saw Naruto. “No. Amma, Papa, Ranvir, this is Sasuke. I wanted him to experience the Banana Leaf.”

 The family turned towards the taciturn man at Naruto’s side.

Amma hugged Sasuke gently. “Welcome, welcome,” she told him. “We are so happy to have you. We love Naruto,” she said.

 Sasuke politely returned her greeting and smiled, but it seemed to Naruto that he was surprised and uncomfortable with the hugs—not that it would deter Amma or any other member of the family, he knew.

“Come, come. Let me make sure you have a good seat,” Amma said, taking the two men by their hands. Sasuke looked over at him, one eyebrow raised, his expression a mixture of amusement and annoyance. Naruto smothered his laughter.

Amma led them to a table in the rear of the restaurant, somewhat separate from the other diners. “Someone will be here to serve you soon, boys,” she said fondly. “I hope you enjoy your meal.”

When she had shuffled off, Naruto looked up at Sasuke. Once again, he was caught by his beauty. There was nothing about Sasuke that suggested frailty, but his features and build seemed deceptively delicate. His black hair and almost equally black eyes contrasted sharply with his ivory skin.

 “You’re popular here,” Sasuke said, breaking his reverie.

 “I love these people,” Naruto replied. “Although I wasn’t counting on that level of welcome. I hope you like Indian food."

 “Don’t be an idiot. I remember telling you that my parameters excluded nothing but food that was still alive.” Sasuke took a glass of water from the waiter who had appeared at their table silently. “I am not all that knowledgeable about Indian food. What I’ve had has been good.”

 Naruto breathed a sigh of relief. “So, I’ll ask again. Do you trust me?”

 Sasuke arched one perfect eyebrow at him. “Why? Will you be the one doing the cooking?”

“You are such a bastard,” Naruto responded with a laugh. “I’ll have you know I can cook without killing somebody. Although you could drive a person to food-based murder, I’m pretty damn sure. Now, gimme your menu.”

Sasuke cast him a sidelong look before handing his menu over with mock hesitation. 

“We’d like one masala dosa, a mango lassi, and a salt lassi, please,” Naruto told the waiter. “I’ll give you the rest of our order when the dosa arrives.” He smiled at Sasuke. “Pace yourself,” he warned.

 “Noted.”

 “How much do you like spicy food?” he asked.

 “Moderately. I like for the heat to add to the flavor, not overwhelm it.”

Naruto nodded. “I’ll make sure to order things you’ll enjoy. At least, I hope you will.” He grinned crookedly at Sasuke. “Unless you want to have a contest and see who can eat the hottest food. One of my friends and I did that here, once.”

 Sasuke rolled his eyes. “What would we be competing for in this contest?”

 Naruto laughed. “I dunno. Bragging rights? Loser has to buy the drinks?”

 “Why do I have the idea that this would end in mutual drunkenness?” Sasuke asked sarcastically.

 “Probably because it would.” Naruto cocked his head and looked at Sasuke mischievously. “I still haven’t seen you drunk. You kinda owe me one.”

 Sasuke wrinkled his nose, which Naruto found adorably bratty. “I’ll pass on that, thanks. I might not be as charming as you are when inebriated.”

 Naruto felt warmth spread from his chest up to his neck and his face. Sasuke smiled lightly and looked down.

 “Here are your lassis, sir,” the waiter interjected.

 “Mango for me, salt for the other gentleman,” Naruto directed. Sasuke looked at the frothy drink curiously.

 “Here is your dosa, too.” The waiter set the dish between Sasuke and Naruto, then placed two smaller plates in front of each man.

 “Thanks! We would like to order the tandoori mixed platter, please, medium spicy,” Naruto told him.

 “Yes, sir. It will be made to order, so it might take a little time.”

 “That’s ok,” Naruto responded. “We’ll start on this. Just bring it whenever it’s ready.” The waiter jotted down the order and walked off.

 “Have you ever had dosa before?” Naruto asked Sasuke.

 “I don’t think so. Is it a pancake?”

“It’s savory and crispy. Here.” Naruto broke a piece off for Sasuke, dipping it into a small bowl. “This bowl has sambhar in it. You can dip the dosa in there or into the coconut chutney in the other bowl.”

 Without a second thought, he held the morsel to Sasuke’s lips. Sasuke raised his eyebrows in surprise and leaned back slightly. Naruto flushed in embarrassment, fearing he'd irritated him. He was about to lower the dosa to Sasuke’s plate when Sasuke opened his lips and took the bite from his fingers. Naruto shivered as he felt soft, moist lips lightly graze his digits.

 “That… is really good,” said Sasuke, after a few seconds.

  _Think he’s talking about the food, or the little taste he got of you?_

 Naruto dismissed the innuendos in his mind, pleased that Sasuke had liked the first dish he had ordered for them. “You’re really gonna love what I ordered next,” he told him confidently.

 “Mm. I prefer the sambhar to the chutney,” Sasuke said, breaking off another piece. “What is that made of, again? Coconut?”

 “Yeah,” Naruto answered, distractedly. Watching Sasuke enjoy his meal made him feel accomplished. 

 “Try the lassi,” Naruto advised. “I got mango for me, but you said you didn’t like sweet things, so I got salt lassi for you.”

 Sasuke complied with Naruto’s command, although he looked at the glass dubiously at first. “This is refreshing,” he said after taking a drink. 

 “Glad you like it. Don’t feel obligated to eat anything you don’t like,” he told him.

 Sasuke looked at him irritably. “I realize we haven’t known each other long, Naruto, but you should know that I don’t do anything out of obligation.”

 Naruto’s face heated. Sasuke’s words managed to sound to him like a challenge and a confession all at once. “I’m glad,” he said honestly.

 

They had barely finished the dosa when the waiter brought out a sizzling platter of meats and fish. Naruto could not conceal his eagerness.

“Mmm, Sasuke, smell that!” he said with a blissful sigh. He squeezed lemon juice over the platter, then lifted a cube of fish and two prawns onto Sasuke’s plate. “Every part of this plate is amazing, but you _have_ to try the fish and the prawns,” he said authoritatively.

 He watched expectantly as Sasuke lifted the fish to his lips. Naruto felt as if he’d won a prize as his expression morphed from one of vague apprehension to one of visible pleasure.

 “It’s really good, huh?” he asked, giving Sasuke no time to finish chewing his food. Sasuke nodded in agreement. Naruto did not miss the fact that he wasted no time on niceties before devouring the prawns.

 He mused that getting a reaction—especially a contented one—from Sasuke could easily become habit-forming. There was an impulse deep within him to make Sasuke smile, to spoil and to indulge him.

  _I_ bet _you’d like to indulge him._

 He couldn’t really argue with his inner voice. He opted instead to sate his hunger and watch in satisfaction as Sasuke sampled each part of delectable platter.

 

Sasuke pronounced favorably upon all the items that Naruto ordered after that, although he turned down the “dessert” because he was too full. This disappointed Naruto, because he had wanted to see Sasuke’s reaction to a dessert that wasn’t actually sweet. He didn’t push Sasuke, though; he just requested a to-go box for the spiced fruit and asked for the bill.

 Amma came to the table with their to-go box and a small bowl.

 “It has been so long, Naruto,” she said, hugging him again. “How are Hinata and the children?”

 Naruto tensed up. He knew that the family had very traditional ideas about marriage and divorce, and the subject was still sore for him.

 “Hinata and I are divorced, Amma,” he answered quietly, looking down.

 “I am so sorry, Naruto,” she said sincerely. “Do not worry. You are a good person and you will be happy again.”

 He felt tears prickle his eyelids at her kind words. “Thanks, Amma. I’ve missed you all.”

 “We’ve missed you, too. Ranvir isn’t here very much anymore. He’s a doctor, now, you know? But he speaks of you often. And that one young man who ate such spicy curry.”

 “Oh, yeah,” Naruto laughed. “Lee. He loves it here!”

 Amma laughed along with him. “He’s a good boy, too.” She turned to Sasuke. “You are a friend of Naruto’s?” she asked.

 “Yes,” Sasuke said, without hesitation. Naruto felt as if he’d won a prize. To be Sasuke’s friend… he couldn’t imagine many people boasted of such a privilege.

 “We welcome you here anytime. We love Naruto. You take very good care of him. Don’t let him be sad. He is made to smile, not cry,” she admonished. Sasuke glanced briefly at Naruto, then smiled, himself.

“I will do my very best,” he told the woman.

“I believe you. You are a good boy, too, I can tell. And a good-looking boy, too! Naruto, be sure to tell him we can find him a good wife!” She said with a wink. Sasuke’s cheeks reddened slightly, but Naruto grinned.

 “You boys have a wonderful evening. Don’t worry about the bill, Naruto. We are just so happy to see you again.”

 “No, no, Amma, let me pay,” he insisted. “We ate a lot.”

 “No, no, no,” she scolded. “We haven’t seen you in far too long. Come eat with us more. Then we’ll make you pay.” She turned to Sasuke again. “Naruto here is like my son. He saved my Ranvir’s life. He is precious to us. Here. Dessert. Chef says to tell you he’s sorry he can’t come out and say hello. He has a party to cater.”

 Naruto felt like hiding from the effusive praise. “Thanks, Amma,” he said softly. “Please give my love to the rest of the family. And tell Chef I said thank you.”

 His face felt hot when Amma finally bustled off again. Sasuke regarded him solemnly.

 “You’ve made quite an impression, here, Naruto,” he said.

 “I really love these people,” Naruto answered. “Uh. I know you don’t like dessert, but could you at least try the sweet? That way Amma and Chef won’t feel insulted.”

 Sasuke shifted his eyes to the little bowl Amma had brought out. He raised a brow and made a face at Naruto.

 “I know, I know. It looks like testicles. Just take a tiny bite. I’ll eat the rest.”

 Sasuke smiled. Naruto hid his face in his hands, but laughed. “That sounded really...”

 “Suggestive?” Sasuke offered.

 “Yeah, something like that,” Naruto said with an embarrassed grin. “Phrasing is a thing I am bad at.”

He noticed that Sasuke did not remove his eyes from his face as he speared one of the gulab jamun and shoved it into his mouth whole. He felt embarrassed again as Sasuke smirked and took a tiny bite of the confection.

 “Please never ask me to eat that again,” Sasuke muttered under his breath, leaning across the table. “That has to be the most sickly, syrupy thing I have ever tasted.”

 Naruto rolled his eyes at Sasuke, but laughed all the same. “It _is_ really sweet. That’s what makes it good. You just don’t have any taste.”

 “Says the man who would have preferred Chuck-E-Cheeze.”

 “Chuck-E-Cheeze is fun! What do you have against skee ball and singing rats?”

 “Everything.  Not to mention screaming, snotty toddlers congregating in large numbers.”

 

Joking about inconsequential things with Sasuke felt intimate and familiar, as if they’d been bickering their entire lives. 

 He stood and offered Sasuke his hand. Sasuke grasped it with no hesitation and stood alongside him, and Naruto’s heart pounded. He hoped his palm was not too sweaty.

“I have another place to take you,” he told Sasuke as they walked out the door. “Do you have time?”

 Sasuke did not smile as he peered into Naruto’s eyes solemnly. “My time is yours,” he said.

 To Naruto, seemed that the simple phrase was infused with more meaning than a thousand flowery words of endearment. At that moment, he considered himself the most fortunate man in the world.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the kudos, bookmarks, and comments. It has been so sweet of you all to read along and offer your comments! 
> 
> I hope you liked this chapter. For some reason, maybe it was the "Curry of Life" episode, I have an image of Naruto enjoying really spicy foods in my mind. In the next chapter, their date continues.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part Two of Naruto and Sasuke's date.
> 
> Boy/boy kissing. Boy/boy fooling around. Things get wet. Not your cup of tea? Exit quietly, stage left.

Naruto didn’t mind the silence as he drove through Konoha with Sasuke in the passenger seat. He did not intrude on Sasuke’s thoughts; nothing about his silence seemed threatening or distant. He would trust Sasuke to share his thoughts when he was ready.  He hoped he’d like the next spot he had in mind. After seeing Sasuke’s training room, he felt as if he owed him a glimpse of something intimate and important to him.

 

As they neared Konoha’s northern limits, Sasuke spoke.

 

“What did that woman mean when she said you saved her son’s life?”

 

“Oh, you mean Amma? She kind of exaggerated,” Naruto replied with a nervous laugh. “Ranvir was in college with me, and these three guys attacked him because they thought he was Arab or Muslim.”

 

“He’s neither,” Sasuke said.

 

“Yeah, I know, but even if he were, it would have still been wrong.”

 

“So you just ran into the middle of three guys?” Sasuke asked.

 

“Yeah, pretty much. I mean, I tried to be smart about it, but it was hard. Anyway, they stopped beating Ranvir and went after me. When they realized that I could fight back, they kind of quit and ran off. Ranvir was black and blue. Two black eyes, a broken rib. We’ve been friends since. I used to work at his family’s restaurant in college.”

 

Sasuke looked at him wordlessly. Naruto had passed the point in his life when it felt good to brag about such antics. Now, it simply felt as if he were playing the hero and using Ranvir as a prop in his story.

 

“It doesn’t sound like his mother was exaggerating,” Sasuke said quietly.

 

“I dunno. It wasn’t that big of a deal. I taught him some self-defense tactics after that. I think it never occurred to him that he could fight back. There wasn’t anything special about what I did.”

 

“His mother obviously would disagree with you.”

 

Naruto felt a surge of annoyance. “I just fucking hate prejudice. I can’t stand back when a person is being ganged up on. It happened to Japanese Americans during World War II. I don’t have any patience for it. That doesn’t make me special. It makes me human.”

 

“Those three guys beating up your friend were humans, too,” Sasuke countered.

 

“Yeah, they were. And they were probably mixed up, and who the fuck knows what went wrong in their brains to make them forget that they’re still human, and so is a brown guy with a different religion,” Naruto said heatedly.

 

Sasuke said nothing to this, but Naruto could feel him watching his face. He felt embarrassed by his outburst and having relived his intervention in Ranvir’s attack.

 

“I don’t think I know anyone like you,” Sasuke murmured.

 

Unsure of how Sasuke had meant his words or how to take them, he smiled tightly.

 

“I don’t know if I've told you how nice you look today,” he said, deflecting the conversation.

 

“Hn” was all Sasuke replied, but Naruto could see him look down.

 

“I like the tie,” Naruto pressed.

 

“Do you?” Sasuke asked.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Why?”

 

“I dunno, why does anybody like anything?” he said.

 

“People usually have reasons for liking what they like,” Sasuke countered

 

“And sometimes those reasons are subconscious and they don’t really understand them,” Naruto shot back.

 

Sasuke smirked as if he’d won the argument. Naruto did not quite appreciate that.

 

“Maybe, asshole, I like it because it’s black like your hair and your eyes,” he said playfully. “Maybe I like that you’re not wearing all black but you’re still color-coordinated.”

 

Sasuke looked down, but Naruto could see the color rising in his cheeks.

 

_He was fishing for that compliment, kid._

 

Naruto grinned.

 

They passed the town limits, and the landscape began to look slightly more rural. Naruto turned down a narrow dirt road and drove a short distance to where it dead-ended at a thicket. Sasuke glanced at Naruto briefly, and Naruto realized how bizarre a destination it must seem for a date.

 

“Don’t worry. I’m not a serial killer or anything,” he told Sasuke.

 

“I’m glad you told me,” Sasuke retorted. “You saved me the trouble of killing you preemptively.”

 

Naruto laughed, but the look in Sasuke’s eyes gave him pause. He had the feeling that Sasuke’s ethereal beauty belied lethal strength and cunning.

 

“This is one of my favorite places anywhere,” Naruto told him. “I don’t know if you’ve ever come here before, but I used to come here all the time when I was a kid.” He leaned into the back seat to retrieve a bag before he got out of the car. “It’s a little bit of a walk; not far at all, just a few hundred feet, but the terrain is uneven. Will your feet be ok in those shoes?”

“If they’re not, I’ll take my shoes off. Problem solved,” Sasuke answered shortly. Naruto wasn’t sure whether his jokes had offended Sasuke or not. The jitters rose up in his stomach again.

 

He led Sasuke through the thicket and carefully began to descend an incline. He watched Sasuke carefully, but he seemed to be dealing with the terrain just fine. To Naruto, it seemed that he barely skimmed over the dirt and the rocks. He himself was working to stay upright. It had been many years since he’d taken this hike.

 

The sound of running water became louder as they made their way down the steep hill. Naruto’s entire body reacted reflexively. Peace and joy flooded his mind as he drew nearer to the closest thing to a sacred space that he’d ever known.

 

When they finally stood on level ground, Naruto looked back at Sasuke. The hike had barely affected him; he breathed evenly and there was no sign of exertion in his face. He realized that Sasuke must be accustomed to exertion and changing terrains. This pleased him and made him feel closer to his laconic date.

 

“We just need to walk a little farther,” he said. Without a second thought, he took Sasuke’s hand and led him through a small stand of trees until they were standing on a sandy, creek-side bank. A twenty-foot waterfall plunged down over smoothed stones and splashed into the creek about a hundred feet from where they were standing. The sky was almost obscured by trees, and it was slightly cooler down here, in the bottom of this small gorge. Naruto let go of Sasuke’s hand and opened his bag. He removed a small quilt and spread it carefully over the ground.

 

He sat and Sasuke sat beside him. “I didn’t know this place was here,” he said to Naruto.

 

“I’ve been coming here since I was, like, seven or eight.”

 

Sasuke looked around, the late-afternoon sun dappling his features through the trees. Naruto loved the way the light seemed to play with Sasuke’s hair and face; he was beautiful this way, as if even the sun didn’t dare touch him too familiarly.

 

“How did you find it?” Sasuke asked.

 

“I can’t remember,” Naruto said honestly. “I was roaming off by myself. It was in one of my more… hmm… interesting foster homes. My foster parents weren’t too good at keeping track of me, and that suited me fine.”

 

Sasuke eyed him strangely. Naruto couldn’t tell exactly why—maybe it was just the movement of the light—but it seemed as if Sasuke’s eyes had become deeper and darker.

 

“I sometimes spent the night out here.” A barrage of images passed through his mind. This had always been the “happy place” he schooled his thoughts to go when they were otherwise too dark.

 

“How did you eat?” Sasuke asked quietly. Naruto felt rather than heard a growl rolling off the other man’s thoughts.

 

“Heh. Well, I sometimes ran out of the house with cans of soup or a cup of instant ramen. And I’d just eat it out of the containers. But sometimes I caught fish.”

 

“All by yourself?”

 

“Well, yeah. But “all by myself” usually was a good thing. It meant I wasn’t being chased or beaten up or anything.” Naruto smiled a little. No one ever thought to come looking for him here, and although he’d been lonely, he had never felt unsafe in this little hiding spot.

 

“Who taught you how to catch fish, or cook them?” Sasuke inquired, his eyes roving over Naruto’s face.

 

“I did. Trial and error was a better teacher at that time in my life than books or lectures,” Naruto answered. He felt a bit uncomfortable under Sasuke’s scrutiny.

 

“How did you not become a juvenile delinquent?”

 

“Heh. Who says I didn’t?” Naruto asked, winking.

 

“Really?”

 

“Well, yeah. I mean, I don’t guess I ever was too bad. I did like to vandalize the statues in Founders’ Park.” The memory made Naruto smile. He still didn’t feel too badly about it.

 

Sasuke snorted. “I always wondered who did that.”

 

“And one time… you know those calligraphy scrolls in Konoha Museum? The really, really old ones from Japan?” Sasuke nodded. Naruto continued, “I stole those, once.”

 

Sasuke looked at him in astonishment. “How old were you?”

 

Naruto flushed, partly from anger, partly from embarrassment. “I was about 11 or 12. One of my teachers was a real piece of shit. A lot of them were, but this guy was a real asshole. He had arranged for a buyer to lift the scrolls from me in the woods, so he egged me on. It would’ve worked out just right for him, because he didn’t have to risk getting caught stealing the scrolls. Plus, he was really cruising to get me expelled. I just aggravated him, I guess. Not many of the kids or teachers liked me.”

 

A familiar pain passed through Naruto as he recalled. He laughed lightly and looked at Sasuke, who looked angry.

 

“Any attention was good attention back then,” he mumbled.

 

“Konoha has always treated those scrolls like the Arc of the Covenant,” Sasuke said. “Did you go to juvenile hall?”

 

“No. I can’t really even be mad at Mizuki for the whole scheme. The teacher I told you about, Iruka was his name, he had sort of figured out that I was up to something and followed me. When the town council wanted me to be charged in juvenile court, he really got riled up and told them that I was a child, and Mizuki was my teacher, and that the school had drilled obedience into our heads so thoroughly that it would be unfair to punish me.” Naruto laughed at this memory. “The one time I decided to obey a teacher, wouldn’t you know.”

 

Naruto grinned and looked down, remembering what a shock it had been to discover that Iruka would stand up for him. “If that hadn’t happened, Iruka might not have realized how far down I could possibly spiral. He might not have stepped in. That changed everything for me, in the best ways.”

 

Sasuke looked away. “You are an interesting person,” he said quietly.

 

“I’m a lucky person,” Naruto corrected. “I think a lot about what would have happened to my life if that had never happened, if Iruka had never gone out on a limb for me.”

 

“They didn’t let you go with no punishment, though,” Sasuke said. “I know Konoha’s old councilors would never have agreed to that.”

“Yeah, I got a punishment. I had to spend two hours after school every day for the next year researching the scrolls and why they were important to Konoha. I had to report on how they were lost after the Japanese Internment years, like so many things were, and how the town elders had paid about three times more than what they were worth to recover them along with other works of art that had belonged to Japanese Americans for our town. That changed me, too, I guess. It changed how I looked at the world.”

 

Sasuke chuckled. “I can’t believe they agreed to that punishment.”

 

Naruto grinned. “Me, neither. But I’m glad they did. Juvie would have been a real bitch for a cocky little fucker like I was then.”

 

“Usuratonkachi,” Sasuke said, with a real smile--teeth and all. Naruto’s grin widened. Sasuke’s voice made even insults sound sensual.

 

_Is this a degradation kink? Who would’ve thought._

 

The intruding thought made Naruto’s face color, and he looked down.

 

“You wanna go swimming?” he asked Sasuke after clearing his throat. “I brought us both towels and shorts,” he said.

 

Sasuke looked surprised, a look that Naruto knew he would chase down every chance he got if they ended up spending more time together.

 

“The water is probably still cold,” Sasuke said.

 

“What, are you scared of some cold water?” Naruto asked. Sasuke’s eyes narrowed at the challenge, and he felt the thrill of triumph.

 

Sasuke said nothing, but began loosening his tie. It was now Naruto’s turn to be surprised. Before he could react, Sasuke was tossing the black silk loop at Naruto’s head.

 

Naruto laughed. “Whoo-hoo! Do you have a side job as a stripper?” he sniped.

 

“Shut up, idiot,” Sasuke snorted. He made quick work of his shirt and vest. Naruto dug their swim shorts and towels out of his bag and began disrobing.

 

He turned his head as he and Sasuke continued to undress, tossing the shorts he’d brought for Sasuke over his shoulder. When he turned back around, he caught his breath with a sharp hiss.

 

Sasuke was slightly deconstructed. The back of his hair stood out a little. The shorts Naruto had brought hung low on his hips, allowing the contours of his hip bones to stand out. His chest was broad and muscular, his waist narrow, his abdominal muscles rippling under his milky skin. His legs were incredibly well toned, as were his arms. It brought to Naruto’s mind a photo of a male ballet dancer he’d once seen. Every part of Sasuke was extremely muscular, but his form was graceful and lean.

 

His fair skin was flawless, interrupted only by the dark mauve of his nipples and a few fading scars over his torso.

 

_Bet this is what he looks like after a good fuck._

 

Naruto swallowed and trembled slightly at the thought.

 

“Race you to the water,” he said, hoping his voice wouldn’t betray his train of thought.

 

Sasuke shook his head and rolled his eyes. “You are such a child. Fine. Let’s go.”

 

The two men raced down the bank. Naruto took a running leap and landed in the middle of the creek, biting back a squeal as the cold water engulfed his body. He lay back and allowed himself to float on the gentle current while Sasuke glided sinuously through the water near him. Naruto closed his eyes, feeling as if the warp and weft of space-time had woven him a perfect day in the perfect place.

 

He felt a shadow ghost over his face, then felt fingers gently graze the skin above his left breast. He opened his eyes lazily, surprised to see Sasuke standing over him.

 

“You have tattoos,” Sasuke murmured.

 

“Yeah,” Naruto acknowledged. “Are you surprised?”

 

“Maybe.” Sasuke continued to trace the outline of the tattoo as Naruto gazed up at him. “This looks like an angry kitsune,” he said.

 

“It is. I call him Kurama.”

 

“You named your tattoo?” this seemed to amuse Sasuke.

 

“Yeah, so what?” Naruto answered somewhat defensively. He tried to hide his growing fascination with Sasuke’s proximity and the movement of his fingertips over flesh that was unaccustomed to touch.

 

“Why would you do that?”

 

Naruto closed his eyes. “He was Kurama before he was a tattoo,” he said. “He’s my inner critic. My high school therapist wanted me to visualize my internal criticisms and give them a face. So that’s Kurama. He can be cute and mischievous, or he can be destructive and cruel. The tattoo’s to remind me of that.”

 

Sasuke’s fingertips continued to swirl over Naruto’s flesh, growing more rhythmic. “Hm,” he said, as if he were considering Naruto’s words. “And this one?” He brought his other hand to the black ink that swirled around Naruto’s navel.

 

Naruto nearly gasped at the sensation. Sasuke ran his fingers ever so lightly around the spiraling line.

 

“It’s… it’s… the symbol of my mom’s clan,” he stammered, aware that his voice had changed. “And the outer symbols are a seal. Like a seal for a demon.”

 

“Are you a demon, Naruto?” Sasuke’s voice was like velvet, and every nerve ending in Naruto’s body seemed to respond to it. He could feel his skin, already taut from the cold, pebble from the stimulus.

 

“Do you have a demon inside you, hm?” Sasuke asked again.

 

“Don’t we all?” Naruto answered. He stood, aware that he and Sasuke were standing less than arm’s length apart, and that Sasuke had not removed his hand from his belly.

 

Sasuke’s eyes suddenly reflected sadness again, and Naruto felt a strong urge to embrace the man and shield him bodily from every threat for the rest of their lives. He reached out and brushed the bangs away from Sasuke’s eyes.

 

“Sasuke...” he murmured hoarsely.

 

“Are you going to tell me how pretty I am again?” Sasuke asked.

 

“I’m going to tell you that you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen,” Naruto said. “And… I...”

 

“And, you, what?” Sasuke prodded.

 

“And I want to kiss you.”

 

“Shut up and do it, then,” Sasuke growled. The quiver in his voice nearly brought Naruto to his knees.

 

He did not close his eyes as he leaned in; he could see Sasuke’s black eyes gleaming, his pupils nearly indistinguishable from his irides, and his eyes widening. He seemed... innocent—lost.

 

Naruto allowed his lips to hover over Sasuke’s, taking a moment to revel in the closeness and the feeling of Sasuke’s breath on his face.

 

He first kissed Sasuke’s cheek, then the corner of his lips. He finally brought their lips together with a gentle pressure; Sasuke’s lips were deliciously soft and pliant. He could taste the warm spice from their meal on them, as well as something pure and clean that he imagined must be Sasuke himself.

 

Sasuke’s palm flattened over his belly, then moved to his hip. Naruto wrapped his arms around the other man, drawing him closer with a slight pressure on the small of his back. He tentatively explored Sasuke’s lips with his tongue. Sasuke opened his mouth, allowing his tongue to slide over Naruto’s.

 

Naruto groaned into the kiss involuntarily. He gently sucked Sasuke’s lower lip and nipped at it gently. Sasuke responded by pressing his body closer to Naruto’s.

 

From that moment, Naruto’s rational mind receded, leaving only the primal awareness of the physical; of the cold water flowing around him and Sasuke, the two of whom had become almost a single island disrupting the stream… of the warmth and velvety wetness of Sasuke’s mouth, of the contours of his teeth and palate… of Sasuke’s hands grasping him tightly, Sasuke’s chest against his…

 

He explored the curve of Sasuke’s spine with one hand. The softness of Sasuke’s skin contrasting with the ripple of firm muscle made Naruto moan again. Sasuke gripped his ass and pulled him close, and Naruto felt Sasuke’s erection pressing tauntingly against his.

 

A need to possess Sasuke, to have more, more, _more, goddammit,_ of the man in his arms flooded his mind and body. His hands hungrily roved over Sasuke’s body, one gripping his firm, round ass, one fisting in his wet, silky hair. Sasuke’s mouth opened wider against Naruto’s, his high, keening moan reverberating into their kiss. His hips ground against Naruto’s, making his knees weak with pleasure and anticipation.

 

Naruto had never wanted anything as badly as he wanted Sasuke. It was pure, primal need that drove him to push Sasuke towards the bank. They separated from their kiss only briefly; Naruto gripped Sasuke’s hand in his and led him back to the quilt, lying down with Sasuke lying alongside him. Naruto initiated the next kiss as he pulled Sasuke’s leg over his hip.

 

“Mmmm,” Sasuke moaned as Naruto rocked against him. Naruto ended their kiss with a peck and rolled Sasuke onto his back. His eyes were dilated, his hair spread out wildly beneath him. His lips were full and red from their kiss.

 

“Dammit, Sasuke, you’re so fucking gorgeous,” he growled. Sasuke pulled him down against him, and Naruto bit and licked at his neck and throat. He held Sasuke’s hips down firmly as he explored his torso with his lips and tongue.

 

Naruto swiped his tongue across one dark nipple and then the other, fascinated with the way that the flesh pebbled and hardened under his mouth. He did this a few more times before sucking one lovingly into his mouth, causing Sasuke to cry out beneath him and buck his hips.

 

After a generous teasing of Sasuke’s nipples, Naruto trailed kisses down his sternum, then to his side. Sasuke writhed and gasped as he gently bit and sucked the flesh there, leaving vivid red marks on the ivory skin. He kissed his hipbone, then traced its contour with his tongue.

 

_Devour him._

He moved his lips over Sasuke’s body as if he would do exactly that. He loosened his grip on Sasuke’s hips, allowing him to move more freely, and brought a hand up to palm the planes of his chest and his abs.

 

Sasuke hissed and rocked when his hand passed over his nipple; Naruto responded by circling it with his fingertips then pinching it firmly.

 

“Fuck, Naruto,” Sasuke breathed.

 

_He’s all yours._

 

Naruto chuckled lustily. He kissed around his navel and explored it with his tongue, earning another moan, as well as the exquisite view of Sasuke arching his back in desire. He kissed the barely-existent swell of Sasuke’s lower abdomen. When he felt the elastic waist of Sasuke’s swim trunks, sense flooded back into his head.

 

He looked up at Sasuke questioningly. Sasuke's dark eyes were hooded, his face flushed. “Sasuke, I… do…” he fumbled.

 

“Dammit, Naruto. Just… fuck...”

 

Naruto pulled Sasuke’s trunks down slightly and kissed the patch of dark hair. He touched Sasuke’s cock lightly through the fabric, admiring the length and the girth and wanting to feel it skin-on-skin. Sasuke twisted in anticipation, and Naruto’s mouth watered.

 

A shrill ring-tone shattered the moment. Sasuke froze. Naruto heaved a frustrated sigh as he rolled over onto the blanket and began to fumble with his discarded clothes.

 

“It’s mine,” Sasuke said, slightly out of breath. He crawled over to his own pile of clothing and found the phone in his pants pocket.

 

“What?” he answered irritably. Naruto noticed that his chest heaved. “I see. Your mother is at the hospital? I’ll be there. Just… be safe. Don’t go anywhere alone.”

 

The word “hospital” fell like a gust of cold air over Naruto, and he began to get dressed hurriedly.

 

“Is everything ok?” he asked nervously when Sasuke ended the call.

 

“Yes, everything’s fine. My daughter was at the mall with friends, but her friends left and my ex-wife is at the hospital.” Noticing Naruto’s alarm, he added, “She’s a doctor and had to go in for an emergency.”

 

Despite his frustration, Naruto was relieved that Sasuke’s daughter and ex-wife were all right. “You need to pick her up.”

 

“Yes.” Sasuke answered curtly. Naruto could tell he was irritated at the interruption, but he could also tell that he had already begun to shift gears after their intense make-out session. He understood; having children meant putting what you want or what you need on hold when necessary.

 

They dressed and walked back to the car in silence.

 

“Where is she?” Naruto asked when they got in the car. “Oh. Yeah. The mall. I’ll take you, ok? That way you don’t have to ride all the way out to the opposite side of town to drive to her.”

 

“Thanks.” Sasuke turned to look out the window as they drove.

 

_You’re not going to get a lot of pillow talk outta this one, kid._

 

Self-doubt began to hammer at Naruto’s mind. Had he moved too fast? Had he only imagined that Sasuke was just as caught up as he was? And somewhere, in the recesses of his mind, he realized that he had only officially been divorced for six days. That he had only known Sasuke for that long.

 

_So fucking what. This is what people do all the time. Why should you be different?_

 

The questions made his head hurt and his stomach turn. He didn’t know how attraction worked for most people. He’d never felt it so acutely before meeting Sasuke, and his impulsive drive to act on his feelings conflicted with what he knew about good sense.

 

_And marrying a woman you weren’t attracted to and spawning with her made “good sense,” I suppose._

 

The questions tumbled about in his mind uncomfortably. He was relieved when the mall came into view.

 

“I texted her to tell her to stand just inside the entrance. Just pull up to the curb for a minute,” Sasuke instructed.

 

Naruto put the car in park and waited, curiosity about Sasuke’s child drowning out his moral turmoil. A small, dark-haired figure walked out the huge mall entrance and looked around alertly.

 

“Shit. She won’t recognize your car,” Sasuke muttered before getting out. The little figure walked towards them, and recognition dawned in Naruto’s mind.

 

“Sorry, Papa,” the little dark-haired girl said. Naruto wondered how he hadn’t seen it before; the child had Sasuke’s hair and the same large, dark eyes. She looked over at the car and her eyes grew wide.

 

“Mr. Uzumaki? Is that you?”

 

“Hey, Sarada,” Naruto answered back.

 

“I see you know each other,” Sasuke said icily, as he got in the car. He didn’t seem pleased with the information.

 

“Mr. Uzumaki is the principal of my school,” Sarada said, somewhat primly. “Are we riding with you, Mr. Uzumaki?”

 

“Yeah, Sarada, you’re riding with me. Is that ok? And call me Naruto. We’re not at school, now.”

 

Sarada looked somewhat startled at being given permission to call him by his first name; she got into the back seat and buckled her seat belt.

 

“Why are you guys wet?” Sarada inquired.

 

“That has nothing to do with you,” Sasuke said shortly. His curt reply shocked Naruto, and he could tell that it displeased Sarada, as well.

 

“We were swimming, Sarada,” Naruto said amiably. “It seemed like a good day for it.”

 

“You were swimming, Papa?” she asked. “With Mr. Uzumaki?”

 

“You’re a smart girl. Balance your observations against what you’ve been told and come to a conclusion,” Sasuke snapped.

 

This shocked Naruto even more, and irritated him as well. Sasuke just stared straight ahead, either oblivious or indifferent to Sarada’s displeasure.

 

“Sarada, are you having a good summer?” Naruto asked.

 

“I haven’t experienced enough of the summer to give you a good answer, Mr. Uzumaki,” Sarada answered.

 

“Hey, it’s Naruto when we’re not in school, yeah?”

 

“Ok. _Naruto,_ I haven’t had enough time to gauge whether it’s a good summer or not.”

 

“Well,” Naruto answered, amused as always at Sarada’s drolly grown-up manner of speaking, “I hope it’s a great one for you. Sarada’s one of Konoha International's best students, and she’s a heck of an office aide, too!” He addressed this information not only to Sasuke, but also to Sarada, in the hopes that it would soften the edges of Sasuke’s brusque manner.

 

“Hn.” Sasuke answered.

 

“Can you take me home, Mr… I mean, Naruto? I don’t live far from here,” Sarada asked. Naruto looked at Sasuke, who nodded in assent.

 

Naruto followed Sarada’s directions until they were parked in front of a two-story house on a shady drive.

 

“Thanks, Naruto,” Sarada said as she got out.

 

“I’m going to walk her to the door. I’ll be right back,” Sasuke muttered.

 

Naruto watched as the pair walked to the front porch. Sasuke stood stiffly as Sarada fished her house key out of her pocket and unlocked the door, then disarmed the alarm system only to rearm it moments later as she shut and locked the door. There was no good-night kiss, no hug, nothing.  Naruto rubbed his eyes, unable to reconcile this Sasuke, so distant with his own daughter, with the man who’d been so responsive in his arms less than an hour earlier.

 

Sasuke remained quiet when he got back in the car. They had almost arrived at Tomoe before he asked, softly, “You’re her principal?”

 

“Yes,” Naruto answered.

 

“What is she like?”

 

Sasuke’s voice sounded unusual. It sounded as if he were asking a purely academic question, not a personal one, and it moreover sounded as if it pained him to ask at all.

 

“Well,” Naruto said, “She’s a good kid, for sure. Always gets the top grades in her class. She was an office aide last year, so I saw her daily. She’s meticulous. I’d hire her to fill our secretary’s position if I could. Hell, I’d bring her home and pay her to babysit my son, if I thought her manners and discipline could influence him.”

 

Sasuke looked at him curiously. “What does she like?”

 

This stunned Naruto. “What do you mean? Like her interests?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Uh, she loves literature, but she is also gifted in mathematics. She likes judo a lot and talks about it. She reads a lot. Her best friend is Chocho Akimichi. Sarada is really like a grown-up in child’s form, though. She seems to manage her lessons with little to no effort, but she’s not arrogant.”

 

_Unlike that brat of yours._

 

Sasuke seemed to take this under consideration. They were parked alongside his car, now.

 

“She’s a really good kid, Sasuke,” Naruto said gently. “You’re lucky.”

 

Sasuke fixed his gaze on Naruto in the rapidly fading daylight. He looked so uncertain that Naruto’s heart ached for him. “I don’t know if she is.”

 

“Just give it time, Sasuke. Spend some time with her. All any kid wants is for you to be there. Trust me, my son reminds me all the time.”

 

Sasuke gave his little spectre-smile. He didn’t look convinced. Naruto caught his hand as he made to open his car door.

 

“I had a really good time today. Thanks for coming out with me.”

 

Sasuke looked down and smiled. “Thank you, Naruto. It was a nice day.”

 

Naruto pulled him closer and pecked him lightly on the lips, surprised when Sasuke’s tongue invaded his mouth.

 

The kiss was intense, but brief. Sasuke pulled back, a little breathless. “Goodnight, Naruto,” he whispered.

 

“Hey, don’t forget your flowers!” Naruto called as he opened his door.

 

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “You don’t have to give me flowers every time, Naruto,” he huffed.

 

“I’ll just give them to you on special occasions, then,” Naruto teased.

 

Sasuke glared at him. “Let me make it very clear for you, usuratonkachi. Never give me flowers again.”

 

Naruto threw his hands up. “Fine, fine,” he conceded with a pout. “I promise I will never give you flowers anymore if you promise to go out with me again.”

 

“Fine,” Sasuke said. “Give me your number.”

 

He punched the digits into his phone as Naruto rattled them off. It wasn’t lost on Naruto that he took the roses with him when he got into his own car.

 

When he arrived at his apartment, he realized that Sasuke had left is tie lying on the console. Naruto thumbed the black silk fondly, smiling at the memory of their kiss in the creek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU all so much for the amazing comments, for all the kudos, and the bookmarks! You're all so incredibly kind to keep reading this little story; I sincerely hope it gives you some enjoyment and distraction from the oh-so-unjust ending of Shippuden.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sasuke can't stop thinking of Naruto. He dreads a day spent with Sarada.

Sasuke frowned as he drove. Thoughts of Naruto had haunted him all the night before, making him feel feverish and weak; when he did sleep, he was tormented by dreams of Naruto’s kiss.

 

It seemed a taste of Naruto was not enough. No matter how much he shared with Sasuke, Sasuke wanted more. It wasn’t just sexual need; he wanted to get to the bottom of Naruto’s mind, understand what made him who he was. He wanted to know why he had a trigram seal against a demon tattooed on his stomach. Did Naruto feel as if he were evil? Was his persistent drive to see the best in all a defense against his own feelings of contamination? Had a foster parent told him he was evil?

 

How old had he been when he got the tattoos? Had he been a minor? These thoughts conflicted sharply with Sasuke’s image of Naruto as a perpetual child of summer innocence. Sasuke wondered if their paths had ever crossed. They were nearly the same age, Sasuke was pretty sure, and they’d both grown up in Konoha. He felt certain, though, that he would have remembered that shock of blond hair and those blue eyes…

 

He imagined himself as a child, chained to the decaying and corrupted traditions of his clan and of the town; by contrast, he imagined Naruto floating rootless like a dandelion spore—unwanted and cut down every where he attempted to bloom. Had the two of them met—Sasuke burdened with the weight of his family’s expectations and Naruto untethered completely—would they have been friends?

 

Then, of course, overlying all of his questions was the intense sexual need Sasuke felt for Naruto. Sasuke had felt desire before, had experienced longing. Nothing had prepared him for the raw impulses that drove him when he was in Naruto’s presence, however. He couldn’t get enough of him. Every touch led to another, and another. And they’d been close, so very close, right on the precipice...

 

Sasuke shuddered at the thought of falling over that precipice. It was enticing and terrifying. He had wanted to Naruto to consume him wholly there by the creek. Even the bracing cold of the water had not sufficed to douse the heat the swelled within Sasuke when Naruto, wet and shirtless, was so near to him.

 

All night, Sasuke’s mind had replayed every single touch, every single kiss Naruto had shared with him. If it hadn’t been for the fact that he had promised to watch Sarada today, he had little doubt that he would have called Naruto immediately for the release his mind and body were demanding.

 

He groaned in frustration, pulling his hair at the thought. He felt so far beyond control. The sensation might be heady, it might be addicting—but it was still too new to be completely comfortable. As he parked in front of Sakura’s house, he struggled to compose his mind before he had to deal with Sarada.It was several minutes before he could bring himself to march up the walk and ring the bell.

 

Sakura answered immediately, clad in her old pajamas.  “Come in, Sasuke,” she invited, yawning. “Want a cup of coffee?”

 

“Is Sarada ready?”

 

“Not yet. She should almost be. Come on and grab a cup. You can take it to go,” she said, walking towards the kitchen. Sasuke followed, slightly perturbed at the wait.

 

“Have a seat,” Sakura directed. Sasuke obliged, pulling up a stool at the bar as Sakura poured the coffee. “Here you go.” She set a thermal cup in front of him. “Just the way you like it, black as your soul.”

 

Sasuke did not respond to the familiar old joke. He was thinking, still, of Naruto.

 

“What do you think of Sarada’s principal?” he asked carefully.

 

“You mean Naruto?” Sakura did not seem surprised by the question; Sasuke, though, found it odd that she was on a first-name basis with him.

 

“Yes.”

 

“I adore him!” she enthused. “He’s a great principal, he works really hard, and he’s made huge changes to the school culture at Konoha International. I mean, he’s fought the board, and many of the parents, and he just keeps on making the changes he feels are in the best interest of the kids.”

 

“Changes like what?”

 

“You know how things were with us,” Sakura said. “Even though we went to a different school, the educational culture was still largely the same. Teachers berated the kids who struggled, there was rampant bullying, and many of the parents had been pushing for even stricter discipline.”

 

She took a long drink of her coffee before yawning again. “And the way he does it… it’s like he somehow manages to get everyone on his side.”

 

“How?”

 

“Mostly, it's his personality.  He never gives up, but he's so cheerful, too. He also sends out a weekly newsletter to the parents. He focuses on a new parenting issue every week. And our PTO meetings are usually educational, also, focusing on the newest information about child development and pedagogy. He brings people in from the community to lecture and ask questions. I’ve even given the lectures a couple of times.”

 

“Why?” Sasuke asked. “You’re a doctor, not a teacher.”

 

Sakura rolled her eyes. “I’m a _neurologist_ , with a background in neuropsychology and research into the neurological effects of childhood traumas. I lectured about brain development one time, impulse control another. Kurenai has given lectures on adverse childhood events, which I have assisted with. It helps parents understand that children aren’t just tiny adults. You know how much we could have benefited if our parents had ever had that understanding?”

 

“They wouldn’t have cared,” Sasuke said dourly.

 

“Maybe not. But many would have. Did you know that one of Naruto’s in-laws committed suicide in high school?”

 

Sasuke shook his head. He listened carefully.

 

“His wife—well, ex-wife, now, I suppose—grew up with her cousin, Neji. You may remember him. He was a few grades ahead of us at the Japanese-only school. Handsome guy, straight-As in everything, martial arts enthusiast...”

 

Sasuke couldn’t remember; he had gone to the same school as Sakura, but he had been focused on other things at the time.

 

“Neji grew up in Hinata’s house. His own parents had died. He was like an older brother to her. He tried to get into Harvard and was rejected. It absolutely devastated him. He committed suicide from shame, even though he had multiple scholarships from non-Ivy League schools. His death caused the family to reassess their priorities. Naruto apparently knew Neji well. He has drilled it into the teachers’ and parents’ heads that there are plenty of possibilities for a child’s life, but you only get one child. I respect him for that.”

 

Sasuke felt as if another piece of the puzzle that was Naruto was slowly turning, ready to fall into place.

 

"Does Sarada like him?”

 

Sakura laughed. “Like him? I think she has a bit of a crush on him. She thinks the world of him. She works in the school office, you know, as an aide.”

 

“So she said.”

 

“Naruto always makes a point to ask her how her judo lessons are going, and what books she’s read, and he remembers the things she tells him. He’s like that with all the kids. They all seem to like him, but Sarada reveres him.”

 

Sasuke felt a pinch of jealousy; he immediately pronounced it irrational. Naruto had not been doing the work Sasuke had been doing for the last 12 years, and it was moreover Naruto’s job to know Sarada. He couldn’t imagine the principal of his own school knowing so many personal details about a child in his care, though; the kids in his school were likely reduced to entries on an alphabetized spreadsheet.

 

“Do you approve of him?” he asked.

 

“One hundred percent,” Sakura answered. “Why do you ask?”

 

“I just recently met him. I wanted to see what kind of influence he might be on Sarada.” The lie came easily; like the best of its kind, there was a grain of truth within it.

 

Sakura laughed. “Oh, yeah. Sarada told me you guys had gone swimming together. I think it shocked her that her beloved Mr. Uzumaki doesn’t fly off to Mount Olympus when school hours are over.”

 

Sasuke could attest that Naruto could easily set off a war of jealousy amongst the Olympians with his boyish face and toned physique. He cleared his throat, trying to get the image of water beading on Naruto’s tanned, well-chiseled chest out of his mind’s eye.

 

“He’d be a good friend to have, Sasuke,” Sakura said gently. He looked in her eyes, trying to suss out the intentions behind her statement. Her expression was open and friendly. 

 

“Hey, Sasuke...” she began.

 

The creak of the stairs interrupted her, and the two looked across the room to see Sarada rounding the corner.

 

“Good morning, Papa,” she politely greeted Sasuke. He tipped his head in acknowledgment.

 

“Is there any breakfast, Mom?” She asked Sakura. Sasuke noted the warmth of the hug they shared, as well as the look of affection in Sakura’s eyes. He didn’t know why he was here. He felt extraneous and redundant, completely out of place in this picture of family.

 

“There’s an egg and bacon English muffin, if you want it.”

 

“Thanks, Mama,” Sarada said. Sasuke wondered if the air of formality was for his benefit. 

 

Sakura began to tousle Sarada’s hair, then thought better of it. “Sorry, kiddo, I forget you’re a big girl who wants her hair to be nice and smooth.”

 

Sarada grinned. “You can have another hug, though,” she told her mother, only to laughingly squeal, “Too tight! You’re squishing me!” when Sakura obliged. It felt voyeuristic to Sasuke to witness this exchange.

 

“We should leave soon. I have to open the store in thirty minutes,” he interjected. Sarada looked disappointed.

 

“Bye-bye, Mom. Will you be home late tonight?” Sarada asked.

 

“I shouldn’t be, but you know how it is. There are freezer meals if you get hungry.”

 

“I will take her to eat when we close,” Sasuke volunteered. The look of shock on both Sakura’s and Sarada’s faces made him regret the offer immediately.

 

“Thanks, Papa,” Sarada said with a smile.

 

“Ok, then! I’ll see you when I see you, Monkey. Shannaroo!”

 

“Shanaroo, Mom!” 

 

Sasuke walked to his car, still unaccustomed to the knowledge that a child was following behind him.

 

 

The first thing Sarada noticed when she got in the car were the flowers Naruto had given him yesterday.

 

“Did someone give you flowers, Papa?” she asked.

 

“Yes,” he answered abruptly. He wished he had thrown them away the night before; he didn’t want Sarada asking him questions about Naruto.

 

“Was it Mr. Uzumaki?”

 

“Why would you say that?” he asked.

 

“Because you went swimming with him. I thought maybe...”

 

“Don’t think too much about the business of others, Sarada,” he said, regretting the harshness in his voice immediately.

 

Her face fell. “I’m sorry.”

 

“No, never mind. Don’t worry about it,” he said, but this didn’t seem to cheer her up at all.

 

“I’m sorry I made you angry last night,” Sarada murmured, her voice high-pitched and tremulous.

 

Sasuke felt a moment of shock. “Why did you think you made me angry?”

 

“You seemed mad when I asked why you and Mr. Uzumaki were wet, and again when I asked if you went swimming with him.”

 

Her words left Sasuke dumbfounded. “I wasn’t angry.”

 

“Your voice sounded angry.”

 

“Sarada.” She looked up, and to his horror, tears had gathered in the corners of her eyes.

 

“If I am ever angry at you, you will know it. Because I will tell you directly that I am angry at you, and why.” Sasuke cursed at himself inwardly.

 

“I am just curious about you,” she said, and the tears began in earnest. “I wasn’t trying to be rude. I was just surprised that you were friends. I hoped… I hoped…” She took off her glasses and swiped at her eyes. “I wanted to find out about who you liked and what we could talk about together because I don’t know anything about you.”

 

Sasuke stared at her, his mouth open. He had no idea how to comfort a crying child. _His_ crying child. Whom _he_ had reduced to tears unwittingly. Again.

 

A car horn interrupted his thoughts, and he silently drove through the stop sign. He couldn’t think of why she had thought he was angry. He had been irritated, certainly; he had been on the dizzy edge of release with Naruto when her phone call had interrupted them. He hadn’t been angry, though, and most definitely not at Sarada.

 

He crept into a parking space in front of Tomoe and turned the car off. He sat in bemused silence as Sarada hiccupped next to him.

 

He recalled the easy hugs that she had shared with Sakura with a pang of guilt. Sasuke had never been very physically affectionate with anyone other than Itachi as a child; in adulthood, Naruto had been the only person able to coax physical demonstrations from him.

 

But still…

 

He thought of all the times he had watched his father hungrily, hoping for some sign of affection or recognition.

 

Gingerly, he reached out and laid his hand on Sarada’s shoulder. She sniffed, looking up at him with her devastatingly large eyes brimming over with tears.

 

“I am not very talkative, Sarada,” he said. “I’ve spent a lot of time alone. I’m not used to talking to many people, especially children. I don’t intend to sound angry at you. You haven’t given me any reason to be.”

 

She nodded as if she understood, but he could still see the uncertainty in her tearful eyes.

 

 _What would Naruto do?_ He wondered.

 

“Sarada,” he asked awkwardly, “do you like flowers?”

 

She looked at him confusedly, but nodded.

 

“Would you like these?”

 

“No, Papa, they’re yours,” she said softly.

 

Sasuke picked up the bouquet and plucked a single orange— _excuse me, salmon—_ rose and handed it to his daughter. She looked at it before taking it into her hands and smiling up at him hesitantly.

 

“Come. Help me open up the shop.”

 

Sarada followed obediently. He hated the thought of spending a whole day at the mercy of his child, who wanted so much more from him than he knew how to give. The idea of being fixed with those huge, unmistakably Uchiha eyes at every inevitable failure made him recoil.

 

As he opened the point of sale unit and prepared to do an inventory, the memory of Naruto talking about Sarada came back to him.

 

“Sarada.”

 

She jumped a little at the sound of her name. “Yes, Papa?”

 

“You are an office aide, yes?”

 

She nodded.

 

“When you are forced to keep me company here, would you like to act as my assistant?”

 

Sarada’s impossibly large eyes grew larger and her mouth fell open. “Really?” she breathed.

 

“If you want. But you’ll have to follow instructions precisely. I’m not patient, Sarada, and I’m not talkative. You need to understand that and deal with it.”

 

“I’ll do whatever you tell me to do, Papa,” she vowed solemnly. For one painful moment, her expression was so eerily like Itachi’s that Sasuke physically ached.

 

“You can start by neatening the store and ensuring that the books are orderly. We will go over inventory after lunch, but I usually do it every Monday morning.”

 

She nodded once, and he saw confidence bloom in her demeanor.

 

 

They spent several hours silently carrying out their respective tasks. By lunch time, they had still not drawn their first customer. This, he explained to his concerned daughter, was typical for a Monday morning, especially in the summer; most of Tomoe’s revenue, he told her, came from unique artifacts and antiques that Sasuke kept carefully locked away until someone requested something specific.

 

“I usually eat lunch here,” he told her. “Maybe you would like to go out today.”

 

She frowned a little, and he wondered if he had somehow hurt her feelings again.

 

“I don’t want to leave the store unattended in the middle of the day,” she said.

 

Sasuke blinked and looked at her again. She was absolutely serious.

 

“The store will be fine. We’ll lock it. Do you have a favorite food?”

 

“Tea.”

 

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “Tea is not a food.”

 

Sarada glared at him. “I like food with tea. Could we please go to the tea shop? It’s close. We can get back quickly.”

 

“Fine.”

 

 

Sasuke noted that the owners of World Cup Tea Shoppe were quite familiar with Sarada. They smiled and welcomed her when she and Sasuke sat, almost ignoring Sasuke completely--which suited him fine. He observed her as they made small talk with her; he could tell, he thought, that she was not altogether pleased with the ongoing conversation, but she maintained impeccable manners throughout.

 

When the owners finally left the two of them alone, Sarada studied her menu carefully. “Papa, may I have the chicken sandwich and a cup of tea?” she asked after a while.

 

“Get what you want.”

 

The woman who owned the shop ambled back over to them when she noticed Sarada give a small wave. “What would you like today, sweetheart?”

 

“I would like the chicken sandwich and a cup of masala chai, please,” Sarada answered.

 

“Have you had the masala chai muffins, Sarada? We just started making them,” the woman asked.

 

This was the first time that Sasuke had seen Sarada look excited or childlike about anything. She looked at him pleadingly.

 

“Get two, Sarada. You can have the other for snack later,” Sasuke told her. Sarada beamed as if he had just given her a Christmas gift. He stored away the knowledge that she liked masala chai muffins.

 

The server's head whipped to Sasuke when she heard his voice. “Sarada!” the woman fawned. “Is this your Dad? It must be, you look just exactly like him! Ah, you have his eyes, don’t you? And his pretty black hair. Where have you been hiding such a handsome father, you sly little girl?”

 

Sarada flushed and her eyes narrowed imperceptibly. “We are working together today, so we really need to be getting back very soon. Could you please take my father’s order?” she asked; her diction was precise and courteous, but it also had an icy edge. Sasuke found himself impressed despite himself.

 

The woman laughed. “A working lunch, huh? You are always such a serious little thing. I’ll be snappy, then. What can I get you, sir?” she asked Sasuke, placing a hand on his shoulder. He looked from her hand to her face, annoyed at the presumption.

 

“I’d like the tomato soup, a house salad, and some personal space with a cup of green tea,” he snapped.

 

The woman looked at him in shock, but then laughed as if he’d told her an incredibly funny joke. “I see where Sarada gets her sense of humor from, now,” she said as she strode back to the kitchen with their orders.

 

Sarada still looked irritable. “Do women always fawn over you and flirt with you like that?” she asked.

 

“Hn. Don’t know.”

 

“Does it annoy you?”

 

“Invasions of my space and my privacy annoy me, yes.”

 

Sarada grinned. “I suppose I am your daughter, after all.”

 

Sasuke raised one brow and grunted.

 

 

 

The father-daughter tandem offensive against noisome flirtation seemed to have had its desired effect; a different employee brought the pair their lunch. Sarada unfolded her napkin across her lap, then lifted the bread off the top of her sandwich to remove the slice of tomato.

 

“Are you going to eat that?” Sasuke asked, his fork already poised midair.

 

Sarada wrinkled up her nose. “I hate tomatoes.” She looked at Sasuke’s place setting, taking in the tomato soup, his salad covered with tomatoes, and now her own slice of tomato on top. “You really like them, don’t you?”

 

Sasuke smiled. “Quite.”

 

Sarada looked down and smiled, a delicate pink rising in her cheeks. “We’re a good match, Papa,” she said softly. Sasuke conceded that she might have a point.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter went way differently than I had planned, because sometimes, the characters only explain their logic to you as you write. Don't worry. More angsty father-daughter interaction in later chapters. Oh, and tomatoes, because fanfic and Sasuke. I hadn't meant to make it a point until I remembered that Sarada disliked them. So... sorry for gratuitous mention of tomatoes. Maybe I should've made a tag?


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts of Naruto possess Sasuke as he continues his week with Sarada.

“How did you find these things, Papa?” Sarada asked. Her fingers clinched into fists as she resisted the urge to touch the ancient silk furisode.

 

“Some I inherited from my clan, like this furisode. Others I purchased on trips,” Sasuke answered.

 

“We have a clan, right? The Uchiha clan?” Sarada asked innocently. Sasuke grimaced.

 

“We are the last of the Uchiha, Sarada,” he answered flatly.

 

“Oh.” She picked up a mother-of-pearl netsuke carved into the shape of a bear. “This one is really pretty.”

 

Sasuke realized he had been holding his breath. He released it slowly, thankful that Sarada had changed the subject. “If you’re fond of that one, you can take it,” he told her.

 

Sarada looked at him in shock. “It’s… it’s really expensive, though, Papa,” she said breathlessly.

 

“It is one of the least expensive items in this part of our inventory,” he told her. “It’s a small thing, and its value fluctuates with collectors’ interest.”

 

He felt a small pang of guilt when she lovingly clutched the little item to her chest. It was easy enough to give Sarada a small item she had liked. He could tell that she regarded it as a treasure, though, not because of its intrinsic value, but because it was a gift from her father. To her, it was proof of her own value. Sasuke still didn’t feel the elusive bond of affection for Sarada that he assumed other fathers felt for their children. He felt an obligation towards her, as well as a protective instinct. He found her presence endurable, which was no small thing, but hugs and other physical expressions of affection were not forthcoming. Affection had been a foreign concept to Sasuke for most of his life, and as much as he might like to give Sarada the closeness she desired, he couldn’t easily breach the habits of a lifetime of solitude.

 

The week had passed remarkably easily nonetheless. Sarada proved to be an unobtrusive presence in his life most days; not only that, she had quickly learned everything he taught her about running the store. She had been thrilled to see the inventory he kept locked away: the antique, hand-embroidered silk kimonos, the ancient swords, the delicately carved netsuke… Sasuke discovered that it was not at all troublesome to answer her questions, which were intelligent and articulate.

 

To his great relief, she seemed equally at ease with long stretches of silence. When their administrative tasks were completed each day, she contented herself with reading quietly. She demanded nothing of him. Ironically, this made it much easier to take her into consideration. They ate lunch together daily, closing the shop down to visit nearby restaurants. They also ate dinner together at the end of each workday. Sarada confided in him that she was pleased that she wouldn’t have to resort to one of Sakura’s freezer meals.

 

 

She did not mention Naruto for several days. Sasuke was tempted to press her for information about him, but given her skills of perception, he feared she might correctly interpret the interest behind them. He had struggled to keep his mind off of Naruto as the week passed. He had begun and deleted at least a dozen messages to him, unsure of how to tell him that he would like to see him again or that he had been on his mind.

 

He had wished, many times, for Naruto to surprise him by visiting Tomoe again. One night, after dropping Sarada off at her mother’s, Sasuke had almost driven back to the disgusting bar where they had met, on the off-chance that Naruto would have the same impulse. He quickly dismissed the idea, driving instead to his apartment, where he started and deleted several texts to the object of his intensifying attraction.

 

On Saturday, Sarada stayed home with Sakura most of the day, but Sakura, exhausted from a long week of intense work, asked him to please pick up Sarada from her judo class. He steeled himself in preparation for the unwanted advances of the “judo moms,” a group of bored housewives, he supposed, who never failed to try to corner him after lessons. He timed his arrivals to coincide with the exact moment when Sarada would be completely finished so they could exit hastily with little interruption.

 

He inwardly cursed when he noted that Sarada was talking to a classmate. Sasuke slipped in and stood against the dojo as he watched them. The boy seemed arrogant, but he also seemed intent upon impressing something upon Sarada, who seemed to regard him skeptically. The pair was lost to everyone else, completely engrossed in their conversation. The two children were a study in contrasts—Sarada, with her black hair and pale skin, and this blond child, with his rosy skin-tone.

 

A movement at the door caught the blond boy’s eye, and he turned. Sasuke felt a tremor run through his body. At the door stood Naruto; the resemblance was unmistakable, now that he could see the blond child’s face. Naruto had another child in his arms, a little girl whose black hair stood in stark contrast to her huge, almond-shaped, clear blue eyes.

 

He could not make himself move. He watched as Naruto’s son strode over to his father purposefully. “Dad, I told Sarada that she could come with us for burgers tonight,” he said.

 

Naruto smiled at the boy, then over at Sarada. “Yeah, sure, as long as it’s ok with the adult in charge of her.” Naruto’s eyes searched the room. He seemed to brighten. “Sasuke!” he called, as he started walking towards Sasuke’s spot in the corner.

 

Sasuke’s heart seemed to flutter. He scoffed internally at his body’s reaction to Naruto’s presence. “Naruto,” he answered softly.

 

Naruto’s attention had alerted Sarada to her father’s presence, and she came to stand beside him quietly.

 

“I didn’t know you would be in this judo class, Sarada,” Naruto said. “Hey, Sasuke. Wanna come out with us? I promised my kids burgers after class, and Boruto wants Sarada to come with.”

 

“Sure,” Sasuke mumbled.

 

Naruto looked at him uncertainly. “You guys wanna meet us over at Dairy Melt? Sarada, is that ok with you, or did Boruto just make plans without consulting you?”

 

The titular Boruto glared up at his father in aggravation. Sarada smirked.

 

“It’s ok, Mr. Uzumaki. If it’s no trouble and it’s ok with my dad, I’d be happy to join you.”

 

Sasuke nodded. “Let’s go, then.”

 

“Can Sarada ride with us?” Boruto asked Sasuke. “I want to ask her questions.”

 

“If Sarada agrees to, then yes,” Sasuke answered. The child’s direct manner reminded him of Naruto, but he seemed to have none of Naruto’s humility.

 

“Sure, I’ll ride with Boruto, then,” Sarada said. She and Boruto walked ahead of everyone towards the door.

 

“It’s good to see you, Sasuke,” Naruto said. “I hope this is ok. My son has a habit of making plans and then expecting the rest of the world to fall in line with them.”

 

“If it hadn’t been ok, I wouldn’t have agreed. I’ll see you at the restaurant, Naruto,” Sasuke said, and he smiled, unable to help himself. The smile Naruto returned caused heat to flood Sasuke’s chest.

 

The two walked out of the dojo side by side.

 

Sasuke arrived at Dairy Melt before Naruto and the children. As he searched for a table that would fit them all, he heard Naruto’s  _very loud_ voice coming through the door.

“… and I cannot lie! All you other brothers can’t deny...”

 

“Dad! Shut up! Please,” Boruto begged, a bright shade of suffusing his scowling face. Sarada looked on, blushing, but clearly amused.

 

“Ok, Ok, I’ll stop. What do you guys want?”

 

“I want the double cheeseburger, Dad, like always,” Boruto said.

 

“I’d like a grilled chicken salad,” Sarada said. “But I’ll get mine.”

 

“No, you won’t! You’re dining with the Uzumakis tonight. It’s on us,” Naruto told her. He walked up to the counter. “I’d like two juicy doubles and a salad, please,” he told the cashier, who snickered. “Oh, and a chicken nugget meal for my sunflower, here.” The little black-haired girl beamed at Naruto.

 

Boruto covered his face with his hands and groaned. Sarada laughed.

 

“Those burgers got buns, hun?” Naruto teased the cashier, who was now openly laughing.  "We're gonna need 'em big, round, and juicy."

 

Boruto's mouth dropped open in horror. “Dad, you’re awful. I’m never going out with you again,” he grumbled.

 

The scene fascinated Sasuke and amused him and made him feel incredibly left-out all at once. Naruto had spoken of his children regretfully before, but Sasuke could tell he genuinely enjoyed being with them. He wondered if fatherhood would ever feel so effortless to him. Even Sarada seemed to interact easily with Naruto, in contrast to the formal, cautious manner she maintained with Sasuke. The realization saddened him.

 

 

He finally forced himself to approach the little group. “I have a table for us. Do you need a high-chair or booster for that one?” He nodded towards the little girl.

 

Naruto grinned and shook his head. “I’m her booster seat,” he said with a laugh. “She is glued to me, I think.”

 

“I glued to you, Papa,” the little girl echoed, hugging Naruto as tightly to herself as she could. Naruto rubbed noses with her as she giggled.

 

“I’ll make an order and be right back,” Sasuke said. As he walked past, he felt Naruto’s fingers briefly link with his, and he swallowed. The contact was welcome after nearly a week without contact, but it also felt cruel, when, surely, Naruto must know the affect he had on Sasuke’s body.

 

 

Boruto was animatedly holding court when Sasuke returned to the table. “… then, Sarada, she _threw_ me, Dad!” He looked both puzzled and impressed. Sarada lifted her head a little higher, smirking and blushing at the same time.

 

“You threw Boruto, Sarada?” Naruto asked. “I’m impressed. Good work. How much would you charge to come over and throw him every hour on the hour?”

 

Boruto punched Naruto on the arm, none too softly. Naruto just stuck his tongue out at him.

 

“She’s really, really good. I need to learn to fight like that. Can I please, please, please take judo, Dad?”

 

“I see the value of taking a different martial art, Boruto, but I’m going to have to think about it. And I’ll have to talk to your mom about it, too,” Naruto answered. “It really was different from karate, huh?”

 

“Very different. That’s why I need to take it. You never know who you’re going to meet in a real-life fight, right?” Boruto wheedled.

 

“I’ve devoted a great deal of my life to making sure that you _don’t_ meet anyone in a real-life fight, Boruto,” Naruto said tiredly.

 

“Yeah, but you don’t rule the world, do you, Dad?” Boruto countered sullenly. “You never know what’s going to happen. I want to be ready for whatever comes my way. You took all kinds of lessons when you were a kid. I don’t know why I shouldn’t.”

 

“I’ll think about it, Boruto,” Naruto said, closing off the conversation. Sarada looked a little uncomfortable. “Why don’t you ask Sarada more about it? She can tell you a lot, and you’ll have more information to give your mom tomorrow.”

 

Sasuke snorted at the deflection. Sarada and Boruto began a conversation on their own, Sarada lecturing Boruto on the history and purpose of judo and its differences from karate, Boruto listening in rapt attention but trying to look nonchalant.

 

Naruto looked up at Sasuke. “Kids, eh?”

 

“Kids,” Sasuke answered. “How was your week?”

 

“Fine. Busy. The two weeks after kids leave for summer vacation are the busiest for us. Plus we have a vacancy to fill before we shut down for the summer,” Naruto answered. “Hey, Boruto, Sarada’s dad is the one who helped me find the books I gave you.”

 

Boruto looked up from his conversation with Sarada. His eyes seemed to light up when they fell on Sasuke. “Those books are great! That version of _Hagakure_ is really easy to read, and I’ve already finished the book on iaido. I’m rereading it, now,” he said excitedly.

 

“I’m glad you liked them,” Sasuke answered. “Your father said you were interested in iaido. That one is from my personal collection.”

 

“Do you know iaido?” Boruto asked, his eyes shining. There was something uncanny about three identical pairs of blue eyes being fixed on him, Sasuke discovered.

 

“Something about it,” Sasuke answered.

 

Naruto laughed. “That’s called humility, Boruto,” he said. “I bet Sasuke knows more than ‘something’ about iaido.”

 

Sasuke smiled. Naruto had understood from the beginning how important the art was to Sasuke, and he seemed to take it on confidence that he was skilled in it.

 

“You’re lucky, Sarada,” Boruto said wistfully. “I wish my dad could teach me iaido.”

 

Sarada cleared her voice. “I didn’t know you practiced it, Papa,” she said quietly.

 

“Hn. Well. I am not a good teacher. I’m far away from the best or the most knowledgeable. But yes, I took classes when I was a teenager,” Sasuke said uncomfortably. 

 

Their food arrived just then, to Sasuke’s relief. He didn’t like talking about his martial arts history with others. As per their unspoken agreement, Sarada picked all the tomatoes out of her grilled chicken salad and placed them on Sasuke’s plate.

 

Sarada and Boruto continued talking in between—and sometimes during—bites of their food. The pretty blue-eyed toddler cheerfully ate her chicken nuggets at Naruto’s coaxing. Sasuke watched everyone, wondering at the odd feeling inside of him—as if he both belonged and didn’t belong in the setting.

 

Naruto’s nearness made him feel uncertain. He tried not to watch him so intently, but it was difficult; Naruto’s reactions played over his features involuntarily, and seeing the amusement, irritation, and indulgent affection for his children captured Sasuke.  Unbidden memories of his reactions to Sasuke’s touch and to their kisses flashed through Sasuke’s head. He wanted that, again, to be the center of Naruto’s attention and to lose himself in it.

 

Every layer of himself that Naruto revealed to him enticed him more. Watching him patiently bouncing his daughter on his knees, sparring verbally with his son, and drawing Sarada into their circle without a second thought—all while keeping Sasuke fixed to his seat with his sidelong glances and brilliant smiles—made him, ironically, more enigmatic.  Sasuke marveled at how a man so open and honest could still be a mystery.

 

Naruto excused himself to the bathroom, and Sasuke was distantly aware of how Sarada took over watching the tiniest Uzumaki. He heard Boruto say something that made all three children laugh. Everything then sounded far, far away.

 

He rose from his chair without a word, wove through the crowd congregated at the counter, drifted into the hallway.

 

Naruto was exiting the men’s room just as Sasuke arrived at the door. Without a word, Sasuke walked straight ahead, forcing Naruto to retrace his steps backwards. He walked until Naruto’s back was pressed against the opposing wall. The door slammed behind him.

 

“Sasuke...” Naruto whispered, “what...”

 

His words were cut off by the collision of Sasuke’s lips with his. Sasuke slipped his tongue between Naruto’s lips, Naruto opening his mouth to welcome the intrusion. Sasuke gripped him by the hips, pulling him close. Naruto’s hands tangled themselves in his hair as he groaned and melted into the deepening kiss.

 

Sasuke pulled back, a bit breathless. Naruto looked at him dazedly, his pupils round and dark. His lips were swollen; his face and neck flushed.

 

 _I did that to him,_ Sasuke thought. I _did that to him._

 

“Take your kids home and come back to my apartment,” Sasuke murmured.

 

Naruto closed his eyes. “Sasuke...” he groaned.

 

“Don’t say no. Please don’t say no.” Sasuke chastised himself for the need in his voice.

 

“I want to. More than anything,” Naruto said. “But it’s my weekend with the kids.”

 

Sasuke turned towards the door. He wasn’t eager to see the rejection in Naruto’s eyes or to expose more of his own humiliation.

 

Naruto caught his arm and pulled him backwards until his back was flush against Naruto’s chest.  Naruto nuzzled his ear gently, and Sasuke silently cursed himself for leaning back into the warmth of Naruto’s breath.

 

“Doing anything tomorrow?” Naruto asked hoarsely.

 

“Close at five,” Sasuke ground out.

 

“Meet me at your apartment when you’re done.”

 

Sasuke nodded. His mouth had gone dry; he didn’t trust his voice.

 

“Hey, Sasuke… you could call me, you know, if you just wanted kisses. It’s a totally legit reason to use the phone.”

 

Sasuke could tell Naruto was laughing at him. Irritation vied with the embarrassment and desire. How the fuck was he supposed to word such a conversation?

 

“I...”

 

“Hey, it’s ok. I mean it. Just… phone. I’ll make time for you, Sasuke.” Naruto punctuated this statement with a kiss to Sasuke’s cheek. “I have to get back out there. Himawari may not look like it, but she can be… scary. And Boruto isn’t really responsible for handling her. Sunday, ok, Sasuke?”

 

“Yeah. Tomorrow,” Sasuke muttered.

 

Naruto kissed the top of Sasuke’s head as he unwound his arms from around him. Sasuke leaned against the wall, his knees shaking, as Naruto walked out the door.

 

Swallowing down his disappointment and embarrassment, he stumbled to the sink and looked into the mirror. His cheeks were a livid shade of red. He ran his hands through his hair and splashed some water on his face. He could not believe he’d actually cornered Naruto and propositioned him in a public bathroom. With their kids sitting right outside. He felt he no longer knew who he was; his mind was torn between anger at Naruto and anger at himself.

 

Naruto couldn’t be expected to read Sasuke’s desires like an open book, nor could he be expected to simply drop his responsibilities because Sasuke wanted him. All of this Sasuke knew. It didn’t make it any easier to have been rebuffed, even if it was only temporary.

 

He gave himself some time to compose himself before walking out.

 

The blue-eyed Uzumaki contingent were all standing at the table when he came back to the dining room. Sarada sat, looking around anxiously.

 

“Sarada,” Naruto said, “It is always a pleasure to see you. Thank you again for throwing Boruto at judo tonight.” He winked, and Sarada grinned shyly. “Sasuke, it’s good to see you again, too. If Boruto ends up taking judo regularly, maybe we can all do this again.”

 

Sasuke nodded, saying nothing.

 

Naruto walked by and laid his hand on Sasuke’s shoulder. “Tomorrow,” he whispered in his ears, and the roller coaster of nerves and attraction that Sasuke had been on since seeing Naruto accelerated for another dizzying ascent.

 

 

Sarada sat quietly for most of the ride back to Sakura’s, a fact for which Sasuke gave thanks. He was still battling his embarrassment, in addition to anticipation about seeing Naruto the next day. He didn’t trust anything he might say right then.

 

Halfway there, Sarada broke the silence.

 

“Is Mr. Uzumaki your friend?” she asked carefully.

 

It was difficult not to see the question as an intrusion. Mindful, however, of the way his week had begun with his daughter, he breathed deeply and pushed his irritation back.

 

“Why do you ask?” It was a genuine question. He hoped Sarada had not noticed his awkwardness.

 

“You smile when you talk to him,” she said simply.

 

“Why is that significant?”

 

Sarada giggled at this. “You don’t really smile a lot. It stands out when you do.”

 

Sasuke didn’t know how to respond to that.

 

“I… I suppose we’re friends,” he tried. “We haven’t known each other long.”

 

“Does it really take adults a long time to figure out if they’re friends with someone?” Sarada asked with honest curiosity.

 

“I don’t know,” Sasuke responded.

 

“But you like Mr. Uzumaki,” she said, without a trace of question in her voice.

 

“He… is an unusual person.” It was the most neutral thing he could say.

 

Sarada sighed. “He’s a great guy. I’d be really happy if you were friends.”

 

“Why do you like him so much, Sarada?” Sasuke asked. He’d had time to ask her this question all week, he’d pondered the possible answers all week. He hadn’t had the courage until now, though, to actually ask.

 

“He’s a nice person,” Sarada said. “He treats everyone nicely, but he doesn’t act as if he has to. He seems to really like everyone. He tells us to stand up to bullies, and to look out for each other. He says that when we compete with each other, we should be learning from each other’s strengths and growing into better people. And everybody has a unique strength, he says, and part of being a strong person means honoring that.”

 

Sasuke smiled. The sentiment sounded just like Naruto. “Why does that mean so much to you?” he asked.

 

Sarada sat quietly for a few seconds. “Because it means there’s a place for everyone,” she finally mumbled.

 

The tone of her voice made Sasuke’s stomach hurt. He wondered when Sarada had felt as if she didn’t have a place. He knew he had contributed to that feeling.

 

“Papa...” she began tentatively.

 

“Yes, Sarada?”

 

“I know you said it has nothing to do with me. But why were you gone so long?”

 

Sasuke suppressed a groan.

 

“I can’t really tell you, Sarada,” he said. “I know you want to know, but even if there weren’t legal reasons for me to be quiet about it, I still wouldn’t tell you. I’ll tell you that I felt that it was important, not just for me, but for you, as well, for me to do the work I did.”

 

“Was it really for work?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Papa, if you are friends with Mr. Uzumaki, does that mean you’ll stay around Konoha?” Sarada’s voice was soft and unsure.

 

“I told you I would stay in Konoha, Sarada,” he answered, attempting to keep his tone even.

 

“I know. I just sometimes think...”

 

“That I’ll break my promise to you?” Sasuke said, somewhat bitterly.

 

“No!” Sarada spat. “Don’t jump to conclusions about what I’m going to say, Papa!”

 

Sarada’s anger was easier to take in stride than her sadness. “You’re right. What were you going to say?”

 

“I’m afraid… I’m afraid that you’ll hate me when you get to know me and you’ll run away again.” To Sasuke’s horror, the anger was gone, and it sounded as if Sarada was about to cry again.

 

They were now in front of Sakura’s house. Sasuke stopped the car and turned to look at Sarada. “Look at me, Sarada,” he said. When she turned her face to him, he could see the tears glimmering in her eyes.

 

“I promised you that I would stay. I am not a ‘nice’ person, Sarada. I don’t find conversation easy or enjoyable even when it’s necessary. I’m not patient, my tone of voice is short. But I keep my promises.”

 

Sarada sniffed. “When I worked with you this week, I felt you might like me, just a little.”

 

The horrible feeling of being kicked in the chest was back. He almost hissed in physical pain.

 

“Sarada. I don’t like children. If you were like Naruto’s son, you would not have come back to work with me after the first day. I wouldn’t go out to eat with you. I wouldn’t talk to you.” Sarada’s eyes grew large and round at this admission. “I do these things with you because I like you.”

 

He placed his hand awkwardly on her shoulder. “I don’t tolerate most people, much less like them. Understand me. Please.”

 

She sat and stared at him for what seemed an interminable period. She then doubled over in laughter.

 

“Boruto…” she heaved, “Boruto thinks you’re like a rock star,” she said, as if this were the most hilarious thing in the world. “He said you’re the coolest dad he’s ever met.” She doubled over again.

 

Sasuke was confused by this turn in the conversation. He felt as if his child had colluded with Naruto to give him emotional whiplash.

 

“Hn.”

 

“I know,” Sarada wheezed. “He’s such an idiot.”

 

“Sarada,” Sasuke said, somewhat harshly. Her head whipped up to peer at him anxiously. “I… I _enjoyed_ being with you this week.”

 

She wiped at her face and grinned broadly. Then, to Sasuke’s amazed discomfort, she threw her arms around him. “Thank you, Papa. I enjoyed it so, so much.”

 

He patted her gently on the back. She pulled back and opened her car door, and he watched as she bounded up the steps to her waiting mother. He waved at Sakura and drove away, thoroughly bemused by the bizarre parade of emotions—both his and others—he’d been subjected to that day. The old discomfort, the feeling of being out of place, crept up, but alongside it blossomed the sense that something extraordinary was happening in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so, so sorry for the unresolved sexual tension, here. But anyone who has kids knows; it goes that way. This is slow-burn for a reason, but don't worry, I intend to reward them for their patience. :) And check out Sasuke, being all bold and in control then all awkward and shy!


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boruto presses Naruto's buttons. Parenting through divorce becomes more challenging. And Sasuke... is a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma. Boy x Boy stuff.

Naruto’s mind drifted as he drove back to the apartment, despite Boruto’s constant stream of commentary. Sasuke kept him in a perpetual state of perplexity. Naruto felt as if he’d initiated all contact with Sasuke since they had first met, which was not unusual or off-putting for him; he was used to being the most persistent in the pursuit of his friendships. Yet the fact that Sasuke had not once texted him over the week had weighed upon him heavily. Coupled with the aggressive initiative Sasuke had taken back at the restaurant, it confused him.

 

He had been completely unprepared when Sasuke cornered him in the restroom. His body, of course, had responded instantly. Sasuke had seemed so… angry? Sad? Embarrassed?… when Naruto had turned down his invitation. Maybe they were both confused. It seemed as if Sasuke had done as little dating as he had done. Perhaps they were both just awkward and ill-at-ease.

 

_You’re running the software for “horny teenager” on early 30’s hardware, moron, of course it’s awkward._

 

The distance between Sasuke and his daughter also confused and disheartened him. He had a dim view of people who treated their children shabbily, but Sasuke did seem to be trying. Maybe everything about his life, now, was awkward; it made sense. Getting a divorce and coming out would make a tight-rope walker dizzy, he figured. Maybe Sasuke wasn’t used to negotiating closeness with anyone. The thought made Naruto incredibly sad.

 

“Dad! Were you even listening?” Boruto’s petulant exclamation broke into his thoughts.

 

“Sorry, son. My mind sort of drifted. Could you please repeat?”

 

“I _said,_ could you please ask Sarada’s dad to teach me iaido?” Boruto stared at him as he drove, awaiting an answer.

 

“You want to take judo. You want to take iaido. You already _are_ taking karate, and you’ve lost some of your privileges there because of your behavior, Boruto. Besides, you heard him; he doesn’t teach.” Naruto hated telling Boruto no; he wanted badly to be on good terms with his son. He admired Boruto’s drive to learn more about martial arts, something he, himself had been passionate about in his youth. He wanted to reward that drive. Unfortunately, though, Boruto’s talents in martial arts had not seemed to ground him as had been the case in his own life. If anything, his prodigious skill had led to arrogance and entitlement.

 

“I think you’re just jealous,” Boruto said sullenly.

 

“What?” Naruto couldn’t help but exclaim. “What the hell, Bolt?”

 

“Because Sarada’s dad is really cool and could actually teach me something useful.”

 

_Isn’t somebody a cocky little snot?_

 

“Is that really what you think, Boruto? That, first of all, I’m jealous of Sasuke, and second, that I have nothing to teach you?” Naruto snapped.

 

“I don’t know if you have anything to teach me or not, _Dad_. You can’t even be bothered to be on time for birthday parties. If I want to know anything about you, I have to look it up in the _Konoha International Alumni_ _N_ _ewsletter.”_

 

_Tell him that you, at least, hung around for the past 11 years._

 

Naruto literally shook his head at the waspish thought. He was not going to allow Boruto to use Sasuke as leverage to chasten him or make him feel jealous.

 

“That’s an interesting thought, Boruto. I have told you I was sorry about your birthday numerous times. I don’t know what to do to make that up to you, since it was obviously _traumatic_ for you, but you don’t get to use that to force my hand on decisions about iaido lessons or anything else.” He couldn’t keep the anger out of his voice.

 

“How would you feel, Dad?” Boruto asked. “How would you feel if your own parents didn’t care enough about you to show up for your birthday party?”

 

_Tell him that you’d never had a birthday party by the time you were his age._

 

“I dunno, Boruto. I never knew my parents.”

 

Boruto crossed his arms and pouted. “You’re playing the orphan card again. It’s not fair.”

 

“It’s not a card, Boruto. It was my life. Which, if you must know, is one of the reasons I try to make sure that you can have things like birthday parties and karate lessons. Work is kind of important in providing those things,” Naruto said tiredly. “I don’t know how I would feel, honestly. I am sorry, very, very sorry, that I hurt you by being late to your birthday party. If I could do it again, and do it right, I would. But I can’t. So my question to you is, leaving aside the question of iaido and judo and how you feel about Sasuke in comparison to me, how do I make it up to you?”

 

“Don’t bother. You can’t.”

 

“Can’t, can’t, can’t,” Himawari chanted in sing-song from the back seat.

 

“If I can’t, then you need to drop it. If there’s something I can do to make amends, then tell me, because that’s all I want to do,” Naruto said sternly.

 

Boruto scoffed, but said nothing more for the rest of the night.

 

 

The next day, Naruto took the children swimming in the apartment pool, half in hopes of having a fun time bonding with the two of them, half in hopes of calming his nerves about seeing Sasuke again. Boruto still said very little to him. Himawari, as usual, clung to him, giggling at all his silly tricks and happily splashing in the shallow end.

 

He was happy to see that Boruto still took time to play with Himawari, despite his feelings towards Naruto. Himawari was pleased to have her big brother’s attention, eager to learn all he would teach her. As the afternoon wore on, the little girl became more and more exhausted, until she finally fell asleep in Naruto’s arms.

 

“Boruto,” Naruto said to his son, who was busy swimming laps, “Hima is sleeping. Do you still wanna hang out here, or are you ready to go in?”

 

Boruto glared at him. “Why are you even asking? Just do what you want to do. It’s what you do anyway.”

 

Naruto sighed. “I wouldn’t have asked if I were just going to do what I wanted. If you want to stay out here longer, we will. If you want to go back in, we will.”

 

“Let’s just go in. The sooner I can get dressed, the sooner I can go back _home._ ” The last word stung Naruto like a poison dart, as Boruto must have intended.

 

“Whatever you want, Bolt,” he mumbled resignedly. They trudged back to the apartment in silence.

 

Leaving the children with Hinata felt unnatural and painful. Himawari had cried, insisting that Hinata carry her outside so she could wave to Naruto until she could no longer see his car. The sight of her crying in her mother’s arms, getting smaller and smaller in his rear-view mirror, made his chest hurt and his eyes water. He wondered if he would ever get used to leaving them, their old home, their old lives behind at the end of his weekends with them.

 

Leaving Boruto was peculiarly painful. The distance between them seemed unbridgeable. Naruto didn’t even know where to begin with him, and leaving him after an exchange of hurtful words, or after a particularly well-aimed volley on Boruto’s part, made his optimism waver. It felt like the end, every time, as if he had passed the point of reconciliation.

 

* * *

The anticipation of seeing Sasuke made the separation slightly easier. It complicated Naruto’s mind in other ways, however. He still wasn’t sure how to gauge Sasuke’s motivations and feelings. It occurred to him that, maybe, he found Naruto tiresome, but available for sex. Naruto had never been a fan of casual hook-ups, but perhaps he had given Sasuke that impression on their last date. If that was the case, Naruto knew, he would be in for heartache. In the brief time he’d known Sasuke, he’d already become quite fond of him.

 

Not only that, he wanted to know why Sasuke sometimes seemed so lost, despite being a very capable, in-control adult. He wanted to know the secret of the pain he sometimes saw in Sasuke’s eyes, a pain caused, he was certain, by more than just his affections for his brother and his brother’s subsequent death.

 

Amid all of this, Naruto felt he was getting lost. He and Hinata had not rushed to the decision to divorce; it had taken more than a year of tears, discussion, and marriage counseling, and then, after the decision had been made, it had taken another several months to put their plan into motion. He had not awakened to his sexuality or to the end of his marriage the day before he’d met Sasuke.

 

Nevertheless, the newness of their living arrangements, the finality of the decree, had disoriented Naruto significantly. He knew he didn’t want Sasuke as a casual hook-up. He wasn’t sure he could or should offer more, though. Yet every time they were in the same room together, it seemed that they careened towards intimacy. Naruto wasn’t the best with words, but he was pretty sure that “torrid” was a concise description of how he felt.

 

He kicked himself for even thinking these things when he and Sasuke had known each other so briefly, and when he hadn’t even asked Sasuke what his thoughts on the matter were.

 

* * *

  


Naruto arrived at Sasuke’s apartment complex just as Sasuke did, using the address Sasuke had texted him earlier in the day. He laughed a bit at the scotch-soaked memory of Sasuke maneuvering him up the steps.

“What’s so funny?” Sasuke asked, slamming his car door shut.

“Just remembering the last time I was here,” Naruto answered with a grin.

Sasuke shook his head. “You were not exactly coherent, then. I’m surprised you remember anything at all.”

“I’m surprised you got me up the stairs without a crane,” Naruto said.

“I’m surprised I didn’t let you sleep on the steps.”

“Hey, that’s not nice! I have been a very sober and considerate person since then. I even brought food,” Naruto retorted playfully, holding up the bags of takeout he had picked up.

Sasuke’s smile was barely perceptible, but it was there, and Naruto grinned. “You can’t stay irritated with me. Face it,” he said.

“You might not want to test that hypothesis, Naruto,” Sasuke warned, but he smiled again.

Naruto struggled to stand still as Sasuke unlocked his door. He was glad he’d remembered to take his Adderall today; the urge to fidget was almost unbearable, even with the medication.

Soon enough, they were ensconced in the dim light of Sasuke’s apartment. Sasuke closed the door, leaning into Naruto as he did so. Once again, Naruto’s back was pinned. His breath hitched.

Sasuke looked him over for several seconds. Naruto swallowed as the dark eyes raked over his face and body. “That… that kiss… yesterday… Sasuke…” he whispered.

Sasuke leaned in closer. “Sorry,” he whispered in Naruto’s ear.

“I’ve been thinking of it all day,” Naruto responded.

Sasuke raised his eyes to his again. “Really?” he asked.

“Pretty hard to think of anything else, once somebody kisses you like that. Especially in a public restroom.”

“Somebody?” Sasuke asked. His eyes narrowed.

“You,” Naruto murmured. “Hard to think about anything else once you’ve kissed me that way.”

“Did you like it?”

Naruto blinked. Sasuke’s eyes looked large and uncertain. He looked vulnerable.

Naruto smiled. “Goddamn, Sasuke, of course I liked it. It was one of the hottest things that has happened to me, ever. I’d like it better if you did it again, to be perfectly honest.”

Sasuke smiled again, not the little fleeting smiles that Naruto loved so much, but openly.

Sasuke licked his lips nervously before pressing his mouth to Naruto’s. The kiss did not begin the way the one the night before had; it was soft, and gentle, and tentative, the way Naruto had initially imagined their first kiss might be.

Sasuke’s tongue parted his lips softly, questioningly; Naruto answered by opening his mouth and allowing it to slide over his own. Sasuke’s hands came up to Naruto’s face. Naruto nibbled on Sasuke’s lower lip and slid his tongue into Sasuke’s mouth.

“Mmm,” Sasuke moaned softly, tangling his hands in Naruto’s hair. Naruto wondered how he had ever lived without kisses like these. There was an innocence to this kiss that he hadn’t anticipated. He fleetingly wished he had met Sasuke in his youth.

He moved to encompass Sasuke in his arms when he remembered the takeout he still carried in his right hand. Reluctantly, he separated from the kiss.

“I forgot about the food,” he said weakly.

“You brought food?”

“Dude, I just told you I brought food!”

“I wasn’t really thinking of what you were saying,” Sasuke muttered, then blushed. Completely endeared, Naruto hugged him with one arm.

“We can finish kissing first, if you like. I did bring Italian; garlic kisses might not be your thing,” Naruto joked.

“I kissed you after eating Indian food with you.”

“Ok, so garlic kisses _are_ your thing. I’ll keep that in mind,” Naruto said with a laugh. “Seriously, though, we can put this in the fridge if you want, or we can eat now. It’s up to you. But it should probably be somewhere else right now if we’re going to stay like this.”

“Why did you bring food?” Sasuke asked.

“Why not?” Naruto said with a shrug. “I knew you were coming right after work. I thought you’d be hungry.”

When Sasuke looked up at him, he looked so childlike and pleased that Naruto could hardly bear it.

“Thank you, Naruto,” he said softly. He pulled away and began to slip his shoes off.

At that moment, Naruto wanted nothing more than to sweep Sasuke up and cradle him against his heart and protect him from the world. He laughed at the image.

_I double-dog dare you to try it._

Sasuke looked up sharply. “What’s so funny?”

Naruto laughed again. “I was just thinking silly thoughts. I’ll tell you after we eat.”

Sasuke looked at him doubtfully, but he relieved Naruto of the bags and walked towards the living room. Naruto followed after toeing off his shoes.

“You went back to Villa Fiorini,” Sasuke noted as he laid out the contents of their dinner on the coffee table.

“Yeah. I figured I couldn’t go wrong there,” Naruto said. “I got you the caprese salad again. I got one chicken dish and one fish, plus a pasta to share. I hope that’s ok.”

“That’s fine.”

“The hostess was really helpful,” Naruto said.

“I’m sure,” Sasuke said with a smirk.

“She remembered when I came there with you. Can you believe it? She helped me pick everything out. I remembered the salad, though—but she had to tell me the name of it.”

Sasuke looked up at him in disbelief. “Did you really not notice that she and the waitress were staring at us the whole time when we went there before?” he asked.

“Nah, I didn’t. I was too busy trying to pronounce everything. And also trying not to stare at you too much.” Naruto winked at Sasuke, who responded by rolling his eyes.

“Baka,” Sasuke muttered. Naruto just laughed and took his plate.

  


“So, Sarada is apparently a judo sennin, according to my son,” Naruto said as they ate.

“I don’t know,” Sasuke answered honestly. “She is strong enough, for sure, to be good at any martial art she might take up. I haven’t seen her in practice, though.”

“You haven’t seen her in practice?” Naruto asked in surprise.

“No. I usually get there just in time to take her home.”

“Oh. You don’t want to see her performance?”

“It’s not that...” Sasuke said irritably. “I just don’t like being around many people.”

“It’s the moms, isn’t it?” Naruto asked, leaning over the table conspiratorially.

“They bother you, too?”

“Nah. I don’t mind talking to people. I honestly never realized they were flirting until my ex wife got mad one time at Boruto’s karate practice.” Naruto took a bite of his chicken piccata. “It’s not like they’re gonna change my mind or anything.”

“Hn.” Sasuke didn’t look convinced. “I don’t like people. Especially stupid, flirtatious people.”

Naruto laughed out loud. “How the hell do you exist, Sasuke? Men and women both must flirt with you constantly. You own a store, for Christ’s sake. If you can’t deal with flirty people, what do you do?”

Sasuke looked slightly offended. “I ignore them. Or I tell them to leave me alone.”

Naruto imagined Sasuke gruffly telling a coquettish patron to leave him alone. He fell backwards laughing.

Sasuke stared at him as if he had lost his mind. He couldn’t stop laughing at the picture in his head.

“I’m glad I amuse you,” Sasuke snapped.

“Sasuke...” Naruto gasped, “I’m not making fun of you. It’s just… I’ve never met anyone like you. You have more reason than anyone I know to be arrogant and flirty, but you’re neither.”

Sasuke arched one brow. “I’ll be sure to send the next person who accuses me of arrogance to you.”

Naruto stopped laughing. He felt as if he were treading dangerously close to an off-limits area with Sasuke. “I don’t think you’re arrogant,” he mumbled. “Maybe to people who want something you won’t give them, but I think… I think… I dunno… I think maybe you’re jut reserved. And maybe you don’t want to share what you think with shallow people. Maybe you just wanna be sure they’re gonna get it before you share anything important. And… everything about you… everything you could ever share… is important.”

Sasuke’s expression became pensive. He looked down.

Naruto stood. “Do you wanna know what I was laughing at by the door earlier?” he asked, extending his hand to Sasuke.

Sasuke regarded his hand suspiciously. “I'm not entirely sure.”

“C’mere, lemme show you,” Naruto said coaxingly. Sasuke took his hand and came to his feet. Naruto led him around the coffee table, then sat on the floor with his back against the sofa.

“Sit,” he whispered, patting his lap. Sasuke hesitated, but he assented. Naruto wrapped his arms around Sasuke and drew him close, with his face against his chest.

He bent and kissed Sasuke’s forehead, then his nose, then scattered kisses over his cheeks. He finally brought their lips together gently.

“I was thinking of how much I wanted to do this, and how much you’d probably hate it,” he whispered down to Sasuke. He could tell, though, as soon as he’d said it, that he didn’t hate it at all.

“It’s stupid, Sasuke,” he said. “Every time I see you, I wanna hold you like this.”

Sasuke nuzzled against Naruto’s chest and wrapped his arms around his waist. Naruto buried his nose in Sasuke’s hair and kissed his ear softly. Sasuke looked up at him, and Naruto could clearly see the affection and desire in his eyes. It made him weak.

He lowered his head and kissed Sasuke chastely on the lips. Sasuke reached up and snaked his arm around Naruto’s neck, pressing into the kiss.

It was Naruto, now, whose tongue prodded at Sasuke’s lips. Sasuke opened and slid his tongue languidly along Naruto’s. They’d never switched on the lights; and this was how darkness fell, with Naruto and Sasuke entwined in each other’s arms, their kisses communicating all the longing, questions, doubts, and affection that they hadn’t yet found a language for.

Soon, their lips and bodies demanded more of each other. Sasuke bit at Naruto’s lip and thrust his tongue into his mouth aggressively. The hands that had so gently embraced each other for so many languid moments earlier eagerly roamed.

Naruto laid Sasuke back on the floor and then lay beside him. Sasuke pressed his body into Naruto’s as their lips came together again, this time full of need and increasing urgency. Sasuke pulled Naruto’s tee shirt over his head; Naruto fumbled with the buttons of Sasuke’s dress shirt. Sasuke’s skin felt cool and smooth against his, and Naruto couldn’t help but grind his hips into Sasuke’s at the sensation.

Pulling away from the sweetness of Sasuke’s lips, Naruto gently nipped at his earlobe and traced the shell of his ear with his tongue. Sasuke moaned in response and gripped Naruto’s shoulder, digging his nails in unawares. The faint pain combined with the pleasure of Sasuke’s perfect body pressed to his, creating a euphoria that Naruto had never experienced before.

Naruto bit Sasuke’s neck just beneath his ear, sucking slightly, and ran his palm over the small of Sasuke’s back to the curve of his hip. He loved these angles and contours, and the way he knew they were peculiar to Sasuke. He felt incredibly privileged to have this man in his arms.

Sasuke’s chest was just as muscular as he remembered as he dragged his lips over his sternum to his nipple. He circled it with his tongue; he knew he was teasing Sasuke, but feeling the usually remote man’s resolve weakening beneath his ministrations was too tempting to deny himself.

He blew over the dark nub softly. Sasuke caught his breath with a little mewling sound. Naruto swept his tongue over the sensitive flesh before sucking it into his mouth roughly. He gently tugged at the nipple with his teeth, which made Sasuke twist in his arms and breathe raggedly. Naruto switched his attention to the other nipple while pinching the first.

Sasuke rolled onto his back, and Naruto settled in between his legs. He kissed up Sasuke’s neck, pausing to nip or suck at the delicate skin and appreciating the marks his lips left behind. He placed delicate kisses along Sasuke’s jawline before looking into Sasuke’s wide, bright eyes.

Even in the semi-darkness, they sparkled. With his lips parted and his hair scattered beneath him, he looked more beautiful than Naruto remembered. He traced Sasuke’s lips with his finger. “Goddamn, Sasuke...”

Sasuke brought Naruto’s head down and smashed their lips together. Their teeth collided, but it didn’t matter; their tongues slid over each other hungrily as they ground against each other. The feeling of Sasuke’s erection against his own nearly destroyed Naruto. He pulled back quickly, ignoring Sasuke’s glare, along with the pout that undermined it so thoroughly.

Naruto slid down Sasuke’s body, trailing kisses over his neck, his chest, and then his abs. He ran his fingertips over Sasuke’s stomach, over the concave dip at his navel, over the slight swell; he followed the ridge of one hipbone then the other before slipping over his inner thigh. Sasuke squirmed as his fingertips feathered over his erection.

Naruto palmed Sasuke’s length firmly. Sasuke’s hips thrust upwards, demanding more. Naruto placed his hand over Sasuke’s fly.

“Can I, Sasuke?” he asked huskily.

“Na…ru… just… fucking do it,” Sasuke groaned.

But Naruto, instead, lowered his head until he could nuzzle the hard flush beneath Sasuke’s trousers. Sasuke bucked and twisted, wordlessly demanding more contact. He opened his mouth and sucked at the underside of Sasuke’s cock through the fabric.

Unable to wait any longer, he unbuttoned and unzipped Sasuke’s pants, pushing them down to his ankles. Sasuke wriggled free of them as Naruto teased the waistline of his boxers.

“Naruto...” Sasuke moaned, trying to sound threatening.

Naruto grinned at Sasuke’s impatience, but he was growing impatient, too. He nuzzled into the trail of coarse, black hair that just barely peeked from beneath the underwear as he shoved the last remaining barrier between him and Sasuke’s cock down to his knees.

He gasped as he ran his hand over the naked flesh of Sasuke’s exposed dick. He was suddenly gripped with terror. He had no idea what he was doing. He had never gone down on a guy before, he had no idea how to make it feel good for Sasuke. He hadn’t read anything on the topic.

 _Goddamn. You have one of these. How the hell do you_ not _know what to do with it?_

Sasuke was looking at him, his own doubts clouding his eyes, and Naruto didn’t want this moment to slip away.

He lowered his head and touched his tongue to the tip. He licked at the pre-cum beading at the slit experimentally. It was slightly salty, slightly bitter; not at all unpleasant. He lapped at the flesh, watching Sasuke’s reaction, before sucking the head into his mouth.

“Ahn,” Sasuke moaned, and Naruto could tell he was trying to restrain himself from thrusting into his mouth.

Naruto sucked harder, taking more of Sasuke’s cock into his mouth. Sasuke moaned and twisted his hands in Naruto’s hair.

Naruto gently cradled Sasuke’s balls in his hand as he sucked and licked at Sasuke’s dick. He tried to remember what felt good to him. He ran his tongue along the underside, then sucked at the frenulum, before engulfing as much as he could of Sasuke’s length in his mouth. Sasuke’s hips twitched and a low, guttural noise came from his throat.

He sucked slowly, moving from the base to the tip, before releasing his prize with a soft pop. He did this several times before increasing the speed and establishing a rhythm. Sasuke suddenly thrust deeply into his mouth, and his eyes watered as he gagged. He was pretty sure he would have stern words for the next guy pal of his who complained that his wife wouldn’t _“even_ give him a blow job.” This was serious, potentially uncomfortable business, he thought, as he tried to overcome his gag reflex.

  


He regained his equilibrium quickly. As new as this was, he loved all of the sensations—he loved the contrast of the silky skin along the shaft and the slightly rougher skin at the head. He loved the taste of Sasuke, and the smell of him.

Sasuke thrust upward again. This time, Naruto held his hips down. He focused on keeping his lips fastened firmly around Sasuke’s length without nicking him with his teeth, then he focused on establishing a rhythm.

Feeling Sasuke’s hips moving wildly beneath his hands, he sped up. He was briefly aware of his hair being pulled and a strangled cry before his mouth was filled with warm, viscous, slightly bitter fluid.

 _Congratulations. You’re officially a cocksucker. Put_ that _on your office wall in a frame._

He chuckled slightly as he moved up to lie beside Sasuke again. He smoothed the dark, silky strands out of Sasuke’s glistening face. His eyes were half closed.

“I’m sorry, Sasuke. I’ve… I’ve never done that before,” Naruto said softly.

Sasuke opened his eyes and turned his face to look at him. “I’ve never had it done. It was… good.”

Naruto smiled. “So you’re telling me I gave you the best blowjob of your life?”

Sasuke squinted. “Yeah, since we are grading on a curve.” He smiled faintly. “It was good, Naruto. I… liked it so much.”

Naruto kissed his head.

“I’m sorry, Naruto,” Sasuke whispered. “I came in...”

“I wanted you to, Sasuke,” Naruto said, cutting him off.

Sasuke pulled his head down, but Naruto resisted. “Wait, I just...” he protested.

“I want to taste,” Sasuke said, and pulled him close. His tongue slid into Naruto’s mouth to explore. Naruto felt his cock strain painfully against his pants.

“Was it salty?” Sasuke asked.

“No, not really,” Naruto answered. “A little bitter, but not in a bad way. I don’t know what to compare it to.”

He kissed Sasuke again.

“Naruto...”

“Yeah, Sasuke?”

“Come to bed with me.”

Naruto stood and extended his hand, and Sasuke pulled himself upright onto shaky legs. Naruto embraced him, immediately conscious of how tight his pants had become around his groin.

“I need to take care of this,” Sasuke said, caressing his cock as he dove in to kiss Naruto lightly on the lips. “Come on.”

Naruto followed Sasuke through the darkened apartment. Despite all they had just done, he felt as if he were breaching some private fortress when Sasuke led him over his bedroom door. He felt self-conscious and ridiculous and excited—and, though he was still clothed from the waist down, he felt exposed.

Sasuke took him by the hand and kissed him on the lips again, a soft, sweet, almost shy kiss.

“Sasuke,” he asked quietly, “were you telling the truth? Is that the first time anyone’s ever done that to you?”

Sasuke nodded.

“Did it feel good for you?” he asked.

Sasuke smiled at him. “Baka. I told you it did.” He put his arms around Naruto and pulled him closer. “It felt amazing,” he whispered in his ear.

“I don’t know if I can do it as good as you, Naruto,” he said. Naruto could hear a tremor in Sasuke’s voice.

“You don’t have to, Sasuke. You never have to do anything with me you don’t want to,” he said gently.

Sasuke looked at him through narrowed eyes. “I _know_ that. I just don’t want...” he looked down.

“Sasuke, look at me,” Naruto commanded. He put his hands on Sasuke’s shoulders and looked into his eyes. “You can touch me however you want, Sasuke. And I’ll love all of it. I swear. And if you don’t want to, then you’re not obligated, and we can do as much or as little as you want.”

“Idiot.” Sasuke hissed. He yanked Naruto’s hand and shoved him backwards onto his bed.

“Hey,” Naruto objected. “I’m trying to be sweet, over here!”

Sasuke lowered himself onto Naruto. “Don’t be sweet. Be your own idiotic self. I like it better that way.”

“But I meant it!”

Sasuke laughed. “I know you did. That’s why you didn’t need to say it. Stop treating me like a fainting virgin, Naruto. I’ve wanted this for the last week.”

He began to work the zipper of Naruto’s jeans, but Naruto wrapped his hand around his wrist and stopped him.

“Speaking of idiot,” he said, “Why the hell didn’t you call? Or text? If you wanted me to come over, I would have.”

Sasuke looked at him defiantly, then looked away. “What was I supposed to say, Naruto? ‘Come to my apartment and suck my dick?’”

“How about, ‘Come over, you gorgeous bit of man flesh, and pleasure me?’” Naruto said with a cocky grin.

He half expected Sasuke to hit him or abuse him verbally. Instead, Sasuke smiled at him and kissed him again. “Do you need to say anything else?” he asked Naruto. “Or can I take these fucking pants off already?”

Naruto released his hand. He realized he was shaking as he watched Sasuke tug at the button of his jeans and pull his zipper down. He lifted his hips and allowed Sasuke to lower his pants, panicking a little as he realized that Sasuke was removing his briefs along with his jeans. The cool air felt foreign against his skin.

“Are you suddenly shy, Naruto?” Sasuke asked.

“No,” Naruto lied.

“Liar. You’re in a modified fig-leaf pose.”

Naruto blushed as he uncrossed his hands from over his lower belly. Sasuke smirked at him.

“You’d be shy, too, if you were me,” he mumbled, looking away from the dark, amused eyes.

“And here, I thought I’d have diarrhea of the mouth if I were you,” Sasuke needled, lying alongside him and pressing his body against the length of Naruto’s side. He swept his hand up over Naruto’s cock, making it jump to attention. “Why shy? Hm?”

Naruto didn’t answer. He didn’t know how to. He watched Sasuke’s face as his hands explored Naruto’s body. His expression was unreadable. Naruto closed his eyes and allowed himself to enjoy Sasuke’s touch.

He felt two hands ghosting along his sides and hips, then over his chest. His nipples tightened under Sasuke’s fingertips. He stifled a moan. Once again, Sasuke’s tantalizing fingers found the swirls of his demon-seal tattoo, tracing them hypnotically.

“Why, Naruto? Why a demon?” Sasuke asked him again. Naruto could not contain his vocalizations anymore when he felt Sasuke’s tongue tracing the same lines his fingers had just teased. Sasuke sucked and nipped at the inked flesh, then ran his tongue over Naruto’s navel.

“Sa...su...ke...” Naruto moaned. His hips undulated against the bed.

“What happens, Naruto,” Sasuke asked as he drew himself up over Naruto’s torso, “if we release that demon? Hm?”

Naruto’s mind was consumed by Sasuke’s lips and fingers and tongue. He groaned as Sasuke sucked at his nipples, alternating between each one as Naruto lay helplessly. Sasuke kissed his neck, then sucked at the skin at the juncture of his neck and shoulder before gently biting it.

  


Naruto threw his hands around Sasuke, grabbing at his hair and at his hip.

“Do you want me, Naruto?” Sasuke asked softly. His fingers stopped their explorations. He hovered over Naruto silently.

Naruto opened his eyes. “Was it not clear, Sasuke?” he asked. Sasuke looked confused. “Sasuke… I want you. So fucking much. Being like this with you is pretty much all I’ve thought about for the last week.”

He placed his hand over Sasuke’s cheek. “Kiss me, Sasuke. I’ll show you how much I want you.”

He slid up the bed, pulling Sasuke with him. Sasuke settled between his legs, his cock brushing against Naruto’s own. Nothing had ever felt so exquisite. He forced Sasuke’s head down so he could claim his lips. He forced his tongue into Sasuke’s mouth, possessing it as he never had before. Sasuke ground against him with a delicious friction. He wrapped his legs around Sasuke’s waist, pushing against his ass with his heels, demanding more.

Sasuke keened as their bodies and tongues slid against each other. He grabbed Naruto’s wrists and pinned them above his head, holding them in place with one hand. His lips retraced their journey over his torso in reverse; like before, he stopped to lave the seal over Naruto’s abdomen.

Naruto could have cried in frustrated ecstasy. Every kiss, every touch, filled him with almost unbearable pleasure. His cock ached, demanding completion. He was afraid he might come at the slightest insinuation of a touch at this point.

Sasuke tortured him with kisses on his inner thighs before delicately licking his shaft from base to tip. He teased the slit with his tongue, and Naruto laughed quietly as Sasuke tasted the pre-cum that was leaking out steadily. He took Naruto into his mouth and sucked. Naruto struggled to keep his hips still; he was afraid of either choking Sasuke or breaking his nose. The wet warmth engulfing him almost sent him over the edge.

He could have praised any number of gods when Sasuke began to move faster. He was so, so close to release…

Then Sasuke stopped. Confused, Naruto looked at Sasuke questioningly. Sasuke moved up over his body until he was straddling Naruto’s hips on his knees. He lowered himself so that his cock was lined up with Naruto’s. He was completely erect again, Naruto saw.

Sasuke swiveled his hips; Naruto thrust upward in response. He silently pleaded for release, even as he imagined he could do this forever. Sasuke tugged Naruto’s hand down to the junction where their two bodies came together so perfectly, and Naruto wrapped his hand around both himself and Sasuke. Sasuke put his hand over Naruto’s, and as they rocked their hips in unison, Naruto stroked both of them firmly from base to tip.

He quickly felt the familiar tension in his balls. He came hard, covering his hand and Sasuke’s, as well as their stomachs, in thick, white stripes. Everything went black as he screamed out in release. Sasuke came soon after, collapsing atop Naruto as he did.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this hasn't been quite as slow of a slow burn as I'd originally intended, but it still is. You'll see what I mean as the story progresses. This is a huuuuge chapter, I'm really sorry to be so wordy.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waking up with Sasuke. Texting with Sasuke. Why does Sakura want to have lunch with Naruto? Coming-out drama.

Neither Sasuke nor Naruto moved for a long time. Their breaths slowly evened out, each man languorous in the afterglow.

 

Gradually, Naruto became aware of the growing numbness in his left leg and arm, over which Sasuke was sprawled, as well as pressure in his bladder. He hated to move; being so close to Sasuke this way was in some way better than sex, better than their kisses. He recalled a feral cat he had courted in his childhood, unable to accept its rejection. With uncharacteristic patience, he had gradually wooed it closer and closer to him, using purloined tuna and staying absolutely still. When it had finally deigned to sit beside him, he had never wanted to move, fearful that the cat would revert back to its stand-offish ways should he disrupt its peace. He felt a similar reluctance about moving away from Sasuke, as if moving would break the spell that lay over the two of them in their mutually spent state.

 

Realizing that it was inevitable, he gently budged Sasuke’s shoulder over and moved from beneath him. Sasuke yawned and flopped over onto his side. Naruto walked out into the dark hallway, quietly searching for the bathroom.

 

He winced as he switched on the bathroom light. His eyes had become accustomed to the darkness. He regarded himself in the mirror after relieving himself. Red and purple marks bloomed randomly over his neck, chest, sides, and thighs. His sperm, along with Sasuke’s, dried in caked splatters over his lower abdomen. He looked completely debauched, but he thought distantly that he liked seeing the evidence of their intimacy over his body. Being marked by Sasuke felt right.

 

He splashed his face with water and rinsed out his mouth before looking through the drawers for washcloths, thinking back over everything that had happened between him and Sasuke. It may have been awkward, or inexpert, but Naruto had never experienced anything so thrilling or so intimate in his entire life. He and Hinata had learned, gradually, how to please each other. Their lovemaking had even been sweet, in its own way, an expression of mutual respect and affection. He had never experienced the intense, mutual attraction that he felt with Sasuke, though, and it made all the difference.

 

_Moving pretty fast, lover boy. Might wanna slow down._

 

He pushed his gnawing doubts far back in his mind. He’d use the daylight to think. Right now, he wanted to bask in all these amazing, new feelings coursing through him like a cocktail of potent drugs. He wet two cloths with hot water and wrung them out before walking back to the bedroom.

 

Sasuke was lying on his back, now, his eyes closed and his lips slightly parted. Naruto knelt on the bed beside him, peering down at him lovingly. He placed a gentle kiss on Sasuke’s forehead. Sasuke mumbled unintelligibly and grabbed at him.

 

“Shh, baby. I’m just cleaning you up a little. Go back to sleep,” Naruto whispered. Sasuke grunted in response. Naruto gently washed Sasuke’s hands before wiping the crusted semen off of his stomach and penis.

 

“Mmm,” Sasuke moaned, rolling onto his side and nuzzling into Naruto’s arm. Naruto washed himself off before lying down beside Sasuke and putting his arm around him. He’d never seen Sasuke so unguarded. He had the sense, once again, of being peculiarly privileged to see this side of him.

 

Sasuke snuggled into him, their bodies fitting together comfortably. Naruto drifted off into a light, contented sleep as he basked in the warmth of Sasuke’s body against his.

 

He wasn’t sure how much later it was when he was awakened by Sasuke moving away from him. He watched through half-lidded eyes as Sasuke stood, the outline of his body barely distinguishable from the shadows. He burrowed into the warmth he left behind as Sasuke walked down the hall. He could hear the bathroom faucet running, then he could hear kitchen cabinets opening and closing.

 

He was half fearful, as he heard Sasuke’s footsteps approaching again, that he would be told to get up and leave the warmth of the bed. Sasuke sat beside him on the bed, though, and offered him a glass of water. The gesture touched Naruto and soothed him. He accepted, eager to relieve the dryness in his throat.

 

Sasuke peeled the covers back on his side of the bed, and Naruto stood as he slipped between them.

 

“Come back,” he directed, holding the sheets and blankets up in invitation. Naruto happily slipped into the warmth alongside Sasuke, who snuggled in and laid his head on his chest. He wrapped his arms around him, laying a hand over the back of Sasuke’s head to feel the soft, black locks.

 

“You’re so warm,” Sasuke mumbled. Naruto smiled as he pet his head indulgently.

 

“You’re so perfect,” he whispered in reply. He felt Sasuke shaking his head against his chest. “Don’t argue. You made me feel stupid-good.”

 

Sasuke grunted dismissively, but Naruto felt him smile against his skin.

 

“I can’t believe nobody ever gave you a proper blowjob,” he mused. “How is that even possible?”

 

Sasuke groaned. “This, again? Why’d you care?”

 

Naruto shrugged. “I dunno. Seems somebody would’ve offered by now.”

 

Sasuke sighed, his warm breath rushing over Naruto’s skin pleasantly. “My ex-wife offered. It felt too intimate. Didn’t want to ask that of her.”

 

Naruto laughed. “You’re so adorable.” Sasuke pinched his side. “What? You are. For what it’s worth, I loved doing that with you.”

 

Sasuke looked up at him. “Were you nervous?” he asked.

 

Naruto squinted and laughed. “Nervous as all hell. I was so afraid I was going to hurt you, or that you wouldn’t like it.”

 

Sasuke smiled crookedly.

 

Naruto suddenly realized why he must’ve asked. “Were you?”

 

Sasuke looked away. “Maybe.”

 

“You _were!_ You were nervous, too!” Naruto gloated.

 

“So what if I was? I don’t really have a lot of knowledge about how to do this,” Sasuke said. “You always seem to know exactly what you’re doing.”

 

“I gave _you_ flowers. I obviously don’t know what I’m doing,” Naruto laughed.

 

“Are you disappointed?” Sasuke asked, and the tone of his voice made him look twice. The doubts and insecurities were battling Sasuke’s customary reserve, he could plainly see.

 

Naruto smiled and kissed Sasuke’s lips. “Not at all. I loved everything we did together. Nothing in my life has ever felt that good.”

 

Sasuke burrowed into his side again. “I’m sorry I didn’t do the same for you,” he murmured.

 

Naruto playfully slapped his arm. “Shut up. Or I’m gonna get diarrhea of the mouth again. You made me come harder than I’ve ever come in my life. I have zero complaints.”

 

Silence stretched between them as they held each other, each man lost in his own thoughts and sensations.

 

“Naruto.” Sasuke broke the silence.

 

“Yeah?” Naruto didn’t know what Sasuke might say next. He wished futilely that they could just lie silently twined in each other’s arms for an eternity.

 

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” Sasuke said hoarsely.

 

Naruto smiled wryly. “I don’t either, Sasuke.”

 

“I don’t know if this is what you want… I mean, _just_ this,” Sasuke said, and Naruto could hear the plaintive note in his voice.

 

He sighed, thinking how best to say everything he felt and thought. “Sasuke, I want _you_. I want you this way, I want you making fun of me at Italian restaurants while the hostess spies on us, I want you walking on the beach with me, and talking to me while our kids run amok. I just want… I just want to be with you. But I don’t know what I’m doing at all. I only ever dated my wife. My life is chaos right now. I don’t know what promises I can make to you, except to promise you that _this_ is definitely not all I want.”

 

Sasuke lay against him, thinking. “I don’t know what I can offer, either. But… I… it… I...” Sasuke coughed and cleared his throat. “I like this. I like you, Naruto.”

 

Naruto held Sasuke close to him. Tears stung the corners of his eyes; he blinked them back. “I like you, too, Sasuke.”

 

* * *

Naruto was unsure of the time when he woke again. Sasuke slept soundly next to him, and he could distantly hear birdson from outside. He peeked out the curtains to see a twilit sky. He walked to the living room to retrieve his phone from his jeans pocket. It was 5:30; he’d have to be at work in two hours. He rubbed his eyes as he pulled his clothes on, then walked back to the bedroom.

He stood looking at Sasuke for several minutes, loath to part from him. The sheet had bunched around his waist, and with the day’s first light threading around the curtains, Naruto could see all the places he had bitten and kissed Sasuke the night before. He felt the stirring of desire in his belly and realized that he would never leave if he didn’t do it quickly. He knelt and kissed Sasuke’s face softly, pleased to see him smile peacefully in his sleep, then turned and walked out. Locking the door of Sasuke’s apartment behind him was one of the most difficult things he had ever done in his life.

_Sasuke, I kissed you goodbye. I didn’t want to wake you up. I had to go to work. I had a wonderful time with you. <3, Naruto. _

  


_PS—Call or text me, you bastard!_

  


Naruto smiled as he texted Sasuke’s number, knowing it would be one of the first things Sasuke looked at on his phone when he woke.

  


* * *

  


Shikamaru sifted through a stack of files and papers on his side of the desk. Naruto groaned inwardly. He was aware of how silly he must sound to his sensible vice principal, but he persisted anyway.

“I know she looks great on paper, Shikamaru, and she did well on the psychological profile, too...”

“The psychological profile that _you_ insisted upon, Naruto, and which, might I add, was a stroke of genius,” Shikamaru cut in.

“Yeah, I know all that, but I dunno, I just don’t feel...”

“Naruto.” Shikamaru sighed and shook his head. “We have to fill this vacancy by the end of the week. She did just fine in the interview, the board members like her, and she’s not just great on paper, she’s perfect on paper. There is no reason at all not to hire her.”

Naruto leaned back in his chair and ran his hands through his hair. “Fine. Do it. Call her and tell her she has the job.”

As he sat up, he saw Shikamaru staring at his neck. He adjusted his collar self-consciously, realizing he must have seen the love bite peeking out when he’d leaned back.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes and stood up. “Good. I’m glad this particular death-march is over. Who knew hiring a secretary would be so complicated?”

Naruto laughed. “Running a school is nothing but one huge complication,” he said. “Sorry, Shikamaru. You know how I am about gut feelings.”

“Yes, I do, and I identify. But… when all we have is your gut feeling standing between us and time with our families, then I have to make a stand.”

The words caught Naruto off-guard. He didn’t have a family anymore, not the way Shikamaru did. Recognizing that he had put his foot in his mouth, Shikamaru flinched.

“Hey, Naruto, it’s been a while since you came over. I know things have been tough, but Temari and I still feel the same about you. You know you’re welcome any time, right?” he said solemnly.

“Yeah, Shika, I really do. Thanks. You’ve been a real friend, not to mention a kick-ass vice principal. I appreciate it, man.” Naruto smiled. Shikamaru was his polar opposite, but he really did value their friendship and their working relationship. He was a calming influence when Naruto needed it the most. He was also capable of structuring their mutual tasks without being overbearing or making Naruto feel stupid, something not many people could accomplish.

Naruto tidied up his desk the best that he could. He wasn’t exactly eager to shut down the school for the next month and a half. He wasn’t sure how he would order his days, now that he was on his own with no looming piles of paperwork or grant research to fall back upon.

His phone vibrated in his pocket. He smiled when he recognized the number.

“ _Should’ve woke me. I overslept. Had a nice time too, idiot.”_

Shikamaru walked back into the office as Naruto read Sasuke’s text.

“What is up with you, Naruto? Have you met somebody?” he asked. “I didn’t want to pry, except that I wanted to pry. You didn’t exactly do a good job of hiding that hickey on your neck, amateur,” he teased.

Naruto blushed. “Yeah. I mean, I know it’s soon… but… I dunno. I have no idea where it’s going, though. So, knock on wood, and all that shit.”

Shikamaru looked at him levelly. “You’re divorced. There’s nothing wrong with getting out there and seeing what’s available. But I know you, Naruto. You’re not a play-the-field kind of guy. Just be careful.”

Naruto nodded in embarrassment. He was glad when his office phone rang and cut the conversation short.

“Thanks for calling Konoha International School!” he answered.

“Naruto?” came a female voice.

“This is Naruto, yeah.”

“Hey! It’s Sakura Uchiha. Do you have some time to meet with me today?”

Naruto smiled. He liked Sakura a lot. She’d been a supportive member of the PTO, always volunteered her time generously, and she was a great mom.

“Sakura, for you, I can make time,” Naruto said. “When did you have in mind?”

“How about lunch? In, say, half an hour?”

“I can do that. Where do you wanna meet?”

“How about Tzatziki, over in the town center? I can get there easily on my break without anybody catching me and giving me more work to do.”

Naruto laughed. “I kinda know what you mean, there. Tzatziki, then, in a half hour.”

“See you there, Naruto. Thanks!”

He frowned as she hung up. It suddenly occurred to him to be concerned; Sakura was Sarada’s mother, Sasuke’s ex-wife. He felt uncomfortable.

“Hey, Shikamaru, go home. I’m gonna slip out for lunch. I’ll close everything down and arm the system when I get back.”

Shikamaru saluted him and kept at the task he was working on.

  


Tzatziki was slightly crowded when he arrived. He’d come early, knowing his ability to lose track of time. Knowing Sakura’s time away from the hospital was at a premium, he quickly located a table for two and waited. He took out his phone and read Sasuke’s message over and over, grinning stupidly the whole time.

“Naruto?”

He looked up to find Sakura standing beside him. He rose and kissed her on the cheek. “Sit down, Sakura. How’ve you been?”

“Great! Busy! How about you? I know things must be both less and more hectic with the kids out of school,” she said. As he looked at her, he thought that Sarada was bound to be a beautiful child with Sakura and Sasuke for parents. She had Sakura’s delicate features, plus Sasuke’s striking hair and eye color.

“Ya know, I’m just glad that I get to shut that school down today,” Naruto answered with a laugh. “Let’s get our food ordered before Leaf Medical Center finds an emergency for you to work on.”

Sakura smiled and nodded. “You know it. Lunch is on me today, by the way. Let’s call it Uzumaki Appreciation Day.”

Naruto smiled. “You don’t have to get my lunch, Sakura.”

She waved away his argument. “I insist. It’s the least I can do for Sarada’s favorite real-life hero.”

Naruto laughed heartily. “Tell her to find some flashier heroes,” he said. “Boruto can tell her all the reasons my cape has been denied me.”

Sakura shook her head, smiling. “I will not. She respects you a lot, and I wouldn’t change that.”

Naruto felt pride swell inside of him. He loved his job, despite its mundane aspects, and knowing that he’d made an impression on one of his most beloved students made him feel as if he had done something right in his life.

“She’s a great kid, Sakura. You’re a great mom,” he said sincerely.

They waved the waiter over to order, Greek salad with grilled chicken for Sakura, grilled pork loin for Naruto.

“So, Sakura, is everything ok? I mean, I’m glad to have lunch with you any time, but did you need to talk to me about something?” Naruto asked, a little nervously.

Sakura smiled. “Am I that transparent? Ok, yes, I have ulterior motives.” She shook her head and waved her hands when she noticed Naruto’s concerned look. “It’s nothing horrible, I promise. I have no complaints, and Sarada is doing better than ever. I actually… well, I wanted to talk to you about Sasuke.”

Naruto’s stomach churned as he pondered what Sakura could possibly be thinking.

“Sarada told me you guys are friends,” Sakura said.

“Well, yeah. He’s great,” Naruto said cautiously.

Sakura laughed. “He’s definitely something. He’s a good guy, Naruto, however he may come across.”

Naruto nodded. “He’s been nothing but good to me. Even if his pet term for me is ‘baka.’’

Sakura shook her head. “Just as charming as ever. Did you really get him to go swimming with you?”

Naruto looked at her in astonishment. “Yeah. Why, is he scared of water, or something?”

Sakura put her face in her hands and laughed. “No. He’s a good swimmer. He doesn’t like most people enough to do something like that with them.”

“Oh.” Naruto cleared his throat as he thought.

“So are you two a couple?” Sakura said directly.

Naruto looked down. “I’m not sure, Sakura. It’s… new. Wait, how did you know I was...”

Sakura grinned. “It’s called gaydar, Naruto. With all the Lonely Moms Club members throwing themselves at you pretty much nonstop, I thought you must either be hi fidelity or completely oblivious.”

Naruto blushed. So far, the people he’d discussed his sexuality with amounted to Hinata and Sasuke.

“I’m not judging you, Naruto. I kind of hoped you would be a couple.”

Naruto looked at Sakura closely. Her bright green eyes were just as kind and honest as they always were.

“I don’t know what to say,” he mumbled.

“Don’t say anything. I’m not going to out you or anything like that. I want Sasuke to be happy. That’s what I wanted to discuss, really.”

They paused as their food arrived.

“Sakura, that’s kind of you. I want you to know, whatever happens, I am not going to change towards Sarada. She’s probably my favorite student, if I’m being honest, and I’d never hurt her intentionally,” Naruto rambled.

“I’m not worried about Sarada. She knows about her dad’s orientation, or has guessed it, anyway. I have purposely left the confirmation to Sasuke. I don’t have the right to take that from him,” Sakura responded. “I know it sounds weird, but my concern is about Sasuke. And you, too, if I’m being honest.”

Naruto fidgeted in his seat. He wasn’t sure he wanted to hear what else Sakura might say.

“Sasuke doesn’t talk about it much at all, but he’s had a very hard life,” Sakura said quietly.

This Naruto had surmised. He had always known this about Sasuke, before they’d ever exchanged more than a few casual words.

“His parents were murdered when he was eight. His brother disappeared for years.”

Naruto understood, now, why he had felt such an immediate connection to Sasuke.

“I’m not sure what happened next, but things got really bad for him our freshman year.” Sakura looked down at her hands. “This is all his story to tell. I don’t even know most of the details; I never got close enough to him to learn everything that happened. He disappeared from Konoha when he was about 14.”

Naruto suddenly had the urge to cry. More than ever, he wanted to run back to Sasuke and hold him to his heart.

“Naruto, please, I don’t want to come off as the jealous ex-wife or as possessive or… controlling. But underneath the cold exterior, Sasuke is in pain. Please, please, _please,_ if this is just a flirtation for you, rethink it. I don’t blame you if that’s what you want. But Sasuke… he never lets himself get close to anyone. I can only name one person that he is friends with. Please...”

Naruto smiled, ignoring the tears that were threatening to fall from his eyes. He closed his hands over Sakura’s. “He’s so lucky to have you, Sakura. Sasuke is special to me. I am not out to flirt with him or use him. Believe it.”

Sakura nodded in gratitude. “I just want to know how you met him,” she said with a sly grin.

Naruto chuckled and rubbed his hands over his face. “At a bar.”

Sakura looked at him in disbelief. “A bar? You met Sasuke… in a _bar_?”

“Yep. I made a complete idiot of myself. I was drunk. I tried to make him dance with me.”

Sakura’s mouth dropped. “You managed to get Sasuke to dance?”

“I am pretty sure he did it to shut me up, because I was obnoxiously telling him how pretty he was. Then, I decided to cry in the middle of the dance floor and he took me back to his apartment so no one would rob me while I was out of my mind.

Sakura held her sides as she laughed. “I can’t believe this. I’m surprised he didn’t knock you out.”

“I am, too, honestly,” Naruto confessed. “I ran into him again a week later, and, well, yeah.” He scratched the back of his neck nervously as Sakura continued to guffaw.

“Oh, Naruto. You must be special,” she said breathlessly. “But Sarada and I already knew that.” She looked at him fondly.

Naruto was profoundly grateful for Sakura. He had always felt a special kinship with her, but he began to think she’d be a good friend to keep close. Her concern for Sasuke confirmed his belief in her selfless nature and in Sasuke’s inner goodness.

“You know, Naruto, I don’t know what Sasuke told you about our marriage...”

“He told me that you had been very good to him and he wanted you to have the life you deserve, Sakura,” he interrupted quickly.

She looked sad. “That’s what I assumed he had told you. But listen. Our marriage falling apart doesn’t rest solely on Sasuke’s shoulders. I pursued him relentlessly from the time we were kids. I never knew who he really was. I though I could single-handedly cure his sadness. It was selfish of me. We weren’t even sober when we got married, when I got pregnant with Sarada. I have so many regrets.” She blotted her eyes with her paper napkin, smearing her mascara slightly, before she continued.

“Sasuke may portray it as all his fault, but it wasn’t. It was a relief to come clean about things with him. Most of all because it meant he could maybe get close to Sarada without having to go through me and my preconceptions about him. And… because I really do want him to be free to find a loving relationship.”

Naruto smiled sadly. “You don’t have to tell me any of this, Sakura. I can’t judge you or Sasuke. We were all kids trying to make grown-up decisions. I want you to know that he thinks you’re a great mom. I don’t know him as well as I want to, but I do know he respects you. He seems to be trying with Sarada, too.”

Sakura’s lips twisted in an ironic smile. “He’s trying. It’s hard for her, you know? She wants his validation so badly, but Sasuke...”  
  


“Is Sasuke,” Naruto said knowingly.

  


“Is Sasuke,” she agreed. “They are spending more time together. Don’t tell either of them, yet, but I’m going on a vacation in a month, and Sasuke’s going to be her sole caretaker for the two weeks I’m gone.”

“Sakura, you’re sneaky!” Naruto laughed. “I like the way you work.” He thought about spending time with both Sasuke and Sarada. It was an appealing thought.

  


“He asks me about her, you know,” he said thoughtfully. “He wants to know her better.”

Sakura nodded. “I know he does. But I also know his ability to keep people he cares for at arm’s length. I hope they get past that.”

“Me too,” Naruto said quietly.

  


By the end of their lunch, Naruto felt that he’d known Sakura his whole life. She was remarkably easy to talk to, and beyond their mutual interest in Sarada and Sasuke, she shared his beliefs on education and child-rearing. They exchanged numbers and agreed to meet weekly for lunch.

“I’m a good person to bitch to,” she said, “and if you ever need to commiserate about Sasuke, I’ve got you covered.” She winked at Naruto and hugged him. “Thanks so much for meeting me, Naruto. I’m cheering for you and Sasuke.”

“Thanks for lunch, Sakura. I’ll be good to him, I promise.”

“I know you will. I’ll message you next week sometime. See you later, Naruto!” she said as they broke apart.

Naruto exited the restaurant, unaware that a pair of narrowed, brown eyes followed him as he made his way to the door.

  


* * *

  


Naruto drew out the process of closing down the school. It was lonely, without all the chatter from the students and the constant foot traffic. He sighed as he stood in the doorway and looked around the dark, empty halls. He loved his job. The school was precious to him, in a way he had never anticipated when he’d been the black sheep of the elementary wing. Now, being away from this building made him feel a little lost.

He punched in the codes to arm the alarm system before slipping out the door and locking its three locks. Lost in his thoughts, he didn’t realize that he was being watched. He shuffled to his car and was about to slide into his seat when someone harshly grabbed him by the shoulder and spun him around.

“You fucking _bastard!”_ was the last thing he heard before a fist crashed into his face. Stunned, he looked up.

With one eye now swollen, it was difficult to make out who was shouting at him and threatening him. A pair of brown eyes, narrowed into slits, swam into focus.

“Kiba?” he asked in disbelief. “What the hell?

“You piece of shit. Your divorce _just_ went through. What the _hell_ are you doing running around with Sakura fucking Uchiha? Do you have any idea how much this is gonna hurt Hinata?”

Naruto stumbled backwards before the adrenaline kicked in.

_Knock his dumb ass out. Who the fuck does he think he is?_

Kiba continued shouting at him, occasionally punctuating his statements with shoves. “She deserved better than you, you fucking son of a bitch!” Kiba frothed. He drew back his fist again, but Naruto caught it.

“Kiba...”

“Fuck you, Naruto. I’ve loved that woman my whole damn life. You ruined her life. The least you could do is not run around all over the place with your new girlfriend.”

“Kiba!” Naruto shouted. He grabbed Kiba by the shoulders. “I wasn’t out on a date with Sakura. She’s a _friend,_ and we were having an important conversation about her daughter.

“Don’t give me that bullshit, Naruto!” Kiba raved. “I _saw_ you kiss her and hug her. Publicly.” He kicked at Naruto, and Naruto wondered if Kiba’s anger had been festering for years, waiting for the right occasion to boil over.

“Kiba… listen to me… I wasn’t out with Sakura on a date!”

“Yeah, right...” Kiba started.

“Kiba! I’m not dating Sakura. I’m gay, Kiba. You get it? I’m gay. Sakura knows this.”

Kiba regarded him stupidly. “You’re not gay, Naruto. What the fuck are you talking about? You were married to Hinata for 12 years. You have two kids together. Don’t give me that shit.”

“Kiba, shut the fuck up! I’m _gay_. That’s why Hinata and I divorced. Can you get that through your thick fucking skull? I’m not seeing other women, because I’m not attracted to women. I like men.”

Kiba stepped backwards, still glaring at Naruto. “You’d better not fuck with Hinata anymore, Naruto,” he threatened. “She deserves better.”

Naruto sighed and looked down. “That’s one thing we can both agree on.” He didn’t move until Kiba had huffed back to his car and driven off, leaving nothing but the acrid odor of hot rubber behind him.

  


* * *

His face was still swollen the next day when he arrived to take Boruto to karate. He laughed off Hinata’s concern, angry at both himself and at Kiba for giving her any reason to be concerned.

Boruto swaggered out to the car with his characteristic insouciance. “What the hell happened to your eye?”

“Watch your language, Boruto.”

“Whatever. Give whoever did it a hug from me.” Boruto slid into the passenger seat.

Naruto drove silently. He knew whatever he said would only fuel Boruto’s anger. He reminded himself that Boruto was still young, that he was struggling at least as much as Naruto with all the changes in their lives.

“I’m taking judo, by the way,” Boruto said triumphantly. “Jii-chan said I could.”

_Oh, no, he didn’t..._

“Jii-chan isn’t your parent, Boruto,” Naruto said flatly. Inwardly, he seethed. Hinata’s parents and sister had become increasingly permissive with Boruto, overstepping both Hinata’s and Naruto’s boundaries. This, though, was beyond the pale, and Naruto could barely concentrate on the road.

_You’ve gotta take your brat down a peg. You’re getting soft._

“I’m taking judo, and that’s final!” Boruto said self-importantly.

Naruto laughed. “You have no idea what ‘final’ means, Boruto. Did you realize you need both parents to sign for you for classes?”

“I don’t care what you say. I’m taking it. I don’t even know why you care. Jii-chan is paying for it. Aunt Hanabi thinks it’s a great idea,” Boruto declared smugly.

“Aunt Hanabi and Jii-chan aren’t legally responsible for you, Boruto. I was actually thinking of letting you take judo, but I’m thinking, now, that you don’t need to. Did you realize that honor is a big part of martial arts training? So how does playing me and your aunt and grandfather against each other fit in?”

“That’s all a bunch of bullshit and you know it,” Boruto said. “It’s a way to kick ass. Honor has nothing to do with it.”

_Isn’t it about time for him to learn your way of kicking ass?_

Naruto pulled the car off onto the shoulder and stepped hard on the brake. Boruto looked frightened for a moment.

“I will be telling the dojo to bar you from judo lessons. I may even withdraw you from karate tonight. This is how you’re gonna do things, Boruto; you’re gonna clean up that mouth of yours, and you’re gonna stop running to jii-chan and Hanabi when you don’t get your way from me or your mother, and you’re gonna behave respectfully, or you will not take _any_ martial arts classes for the next several months. Is that clear enough for you?”

Boruto gaped at Naruto in horror. He had clearly not expected this reaction.

“Yes, sir,” he finally muttered halfheartedly. They drove the rest of the way to class in silence.

Naruto slumped against the wall of the dojo as he watched Boruto. His son was clearly ahead of all his classmates, and he clearly knew it. He worried that his self-assurance would end up hurting him, literally, in his next tournament. It was still impressive to see him move through the katas, and more impressive, still, to watch him spar. He was far more graceful than Naruto had ever been; Naruto had become proficient in karate, as well as other martial arts, but he knew his movements had always been crude compared to Boruto’s.

He recalled how thrilled Boruto had been to get his karategi; he’d been five, and eager to follow in his footsteps. He’d been unbearably cute, of course. He had insisted on wearing the gi to kindergarten the day after he’d received it. He told everyone he was going to be a great karateka, just like his dad.

The memory saddened Naruto. He knew he was mostly responsible for the breakdown in his and Boruto’s relationship, but he couldn’t, for the life of him, see a way out of it. If he sat idly and allowed Boruto to insult him, Boruto became angrier. If he apologized, Boruto dismissed it. If he shouted back, as it was increasingly easy to do, Boruto just came away with more fuel for future attacks. He wondered if he would ever be able to see to the source of Boruto’s pain, if he’d ever be able to mend things with him.

When class was over, Boruto changed and slinked out to the car without even a sideways glance at Naruto. He followed helplessly and got in the car.

“You hungry? We can go get burgers,” he suggested.

Boruto shrugged.

“Hey, I know what to do. Let’s drive through Dairy Melt and get burgers, then let’s go eat at Beacon Park on the cliffs.”

Boruto shrugged again.

Asking Boruto his preference for dinner resulted in another silent shrug. Naruto ordered their cheeseburgers, then drove to the park. Boruto rode silently, and when they arrived at the park, he sat silently beside Naruto on the cliffs and silently ate his burger.

Naruto had just finished his food and was about to get up and throw away his trash when Boruto finally spoke.

“When were you going to tell me?”

The question confused Boruto. “Tell you what, Bolt?”

“That you’re gay.”

Naruto closed his eyes tightly and hung his head. “Who told you that, Boruto?”

“Is it true?”

“Yes.”

He couldn’t look at Boruto, but he could feel his blue eyes boring into him.

“Were you ever gonna tell us?”

Naruto sighed. “Yeah, Boruto, I was. I just didn’t want to do it right after the divorce.” He swallowed. This conversation was a lot harder to have than he’d imagined it being. His stomach turned.

“Boruto, who told you?”

Boruto looked away and squinted, as if he were trying to rid himself of an unwanted sensation.

“I heard Kiba talking to Mom.”

Naruto seethed.

_You should have taken care of this back at the school. Shoulda fucked up that big mouth so he couldn’t talk shit for a while._

“Are you ashamed of me, Boruto?” he asked hoarsely.

“For being gay? No.” Boruto swung his leg and rested his arm on his knee. “But why, Dad? Why did you lie to Mom and us?”

“I didn’t…” Naruto sighed. “I… didn’t realize,” he said weakly.

Boruto stared at him in shock. “How is that possible? How could you not know that about yourself?”

The tears Naruto had been holding back for two days tumbled freely down his cheeks.

“I wish I could tell you, son.” He wiped at his eyes. “Things were different when I was your age. It wasn’t viewed as ‘normal’ then. It was expected that you grew up, you married a girl, you had kids. I just wanted… I wanted to do what was expected of me.”

“So marrying Mom was just what was expected of you? You didn’t love her at all?” Boruto asked incredulously.

“I loved her very much,” Naruto said. “I still do. I just am not… I’m not capable of loving her… the way she should be loved by a husband.”

“Is that why you never came home at night? Because you hated your life and hated us?” Naruto could tell that Boruto was near tears himself.

“I didn’t hate my life, and I most definitely didn’t hate you. Any of you. I just felt like… like I didn’t deserve you. Like my whole life was a fake.” Naruto hadn’t realized how true that was until he said it out loud. The many years of feeling like an impostor pressed against him as he considered what to say next.

“Did you even want me and Himawari?” Boruto asked. He sniffled slightly.

Naruto looked into his eyes. “More than anything,” he said. He put his hand over Boruto’s shoulder. “I know I’ve messed up a lot, but having you and Himawari was the best thing that ever happened to me. I finally had a family. I wanted to give you a safe, happy life. I just… messed up. You all deserved a lot better than me.”

Boruto stood up and stalked off towards the garbage bins. By the time Naruto caught up to him, he could tell he’d been crying in earnest.

He knelt down to bring himself eye level with his son. “Boruto, listen to me,” he murmured. Boruto looked up hesitantly, and Naruto could see the anguished confusion in his eyes. “No matter what, I love you and Hima. I want to be part of your life. Please forgive me.”

“What does it mean to be ‘part of your life’? You can’t even tell me the truth! I could understand not saying anything to Hima, but you could have told me!” Boruto’s hands balled into fists.

“I’m telling you the truth, now,” Naruto said.

“Please just take me home,” Boruto muttered. He strode back to the car, furiously wiping at his face and eyes.

Naruto’s face ached from Kiba’s punch and from the tears that wouldn’t stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok. So, I can't stand Kiba. There, I said it. He annoys the ever-loving shit out of me throughout Naruto and Naruto Shippuden. This is not the last we've seen of him. Sorry if that seems OOC to any of you. I realize my fiendish disgust for him is a bit extreme, but also, this is something I can imagine him doing. 
> 
> It has been really hard to write a lot of the interactions between Boruto and Naruto. The relationship between a parent and a child is never as straightforward or archetypically pure as we would like it to be, and especially during a divorce, the conflicted feelings are tough on everyone. Especially kids who have little agency, and are capable of using what autonomy they have to play games in an effort to be seen or to right perceived wrongs. We will see other sides of Boruto in this fic, I promise. 
> 
> The ending was so, so unbelievably hard to write. It may seem that coming out is a nonevent for most people today, but for many, it's a very difficult process. Boruto isn't upset that his dad is gay; he's upset that he never knew, and that it upsets the view he's had of his life and his reality up until now.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Of demons and darkness; Sasuke travels out of town with Naruto to meet one of Naruto's old friends. Over the course of the evening, he meets an old acquaintance he would just have soon as forgotten, and he gets an unsolicited psychic reading. Explicit boy/boy action. Be forewarned.

Sasuke raged internally. Naruto tried to smile and act nonchalant, but when he had shown up at Tomoe for their lunch date with his eye swollen and bruised, it had taken all of Sasuke’s restraint not to break something.

 

“It’s nothing. I promise. I’ve looked worse,” Naruto said lightly. This only enraged Sasuke more.

 

When Naruto told him an obviously abridged version of the events surrounding his battered face, Sasuke seethed uncontrollably.

 

“Baka,” he growled, “I don’t care what you think you’ve done wrong in your marriage. You don’t deserve this. If you did, then your ex-wife is the one with rights to your face. Not one of her white knights.” Sasuke gingerly touched Naruto’s face to assess the swelling. “Who the fuck is this guy, anyway?”

 

“He’s been in love with her since we were kids,” Naruto said. “And I’m not telling you.”

 

Sasuke frowned at Naruto and pursed his lips. “If you show up looking like this again, I have my ways of discovering this person’s identity, Naruto. And I won’t be kind.”

 

Naruto laughed hollowly. “Hey, slow your roll, Keyser Soze. I gave him this one swing out of consideration. Trust me, dude is about to get his ass handed to him.”

 

Sasuke paused. For one tense, fleeting moment, he could see Naruto’s eyes gleaming darkly, and he imagined he felt the radiating fury of a demonic kitsune pulsing off of Naruto’s skin. The moment was over almost as it began.

 

Naruto placed his hand over Sasuke’s. “Sasuke, don’t worry about me. I’m not a weak person, trust me. The fact that I give people the benefit of the doubt doesn’t mean that I can’t take care of myself.”

 

“Idiot,” Sasuke muttered.

 

He knew Naruto could handle himself. It still angered him that someone would assume that Naruto’s happy-go-lucky, friendly demeanor meant they could hurt or threaten him. Naruto, of all people, did not deserve this sort of treatment. An old appetite, long suppressed, yawned within him.

 

“Are you mad because my pretty face got messed up?” Naruto asked, fluttering his eyelashes sarcastically.

 

“Hn,” Sasuke grunted. He kissed Naruto softly on the lips. “As long as the working parts do their job, I don’t care.”

 

“Bastard,” Naruto said laughingly. He leaned in and kissed Sasuke wetly.

 

Sasuke leaned into the kiss briefly, then pulled away. “Naruto, if this keeps up, we aren’t going to finish lunch,” he warned.

 

Naruto grinned. “Is it terrible that I wouldn’t mind?”

 

“I’m touched at the possibility that I might rate higher than food in your hierarchy of priorities,” Sasuke said with a smirk. In truth, he _was_ flattered. Naruto made him feel desired in a way that no one ever had, a way Sasuke had never thought mattered.

 

Naruto had given Sasuke permission to feel things that he’d not felt since childhood: trust, companionship, joy, desire… Sasuke was beginning to learn that Naruto was not someone he had to guess about. He communicated openly and cheerfully. If he wanted something, he asked for it. He told Sasuke his feelings and insecurities, and he allowed Sasuke the space to do the same.

 

More than that, he seemed to actually care about Sasuke, not his looks or what it might mean to acquire him. Between Naruto and the time he spent with Sarada, new possibilities for his life appeared to be opening up to him. He felt as if a generational curse had been lifted, or that he was being given a chance to live someone else’s life.

 

All too soon, Sasuke’s lunch break was over, and Naruto was preparing to leave. He pulled Sasuke close, hands on his hips, and kissed him. “I never get enough of you, ya know,” He said with a smile.

 

Sasuke smiled back. “You know where to find me, idiot,” he said softly.

 

Naruto brushed his hands over Sasuke’s hair tenderly. “I do,” he said. “And… I wanted to ask you out this weekend on a proper date. One of my best friends is flying into the city from New Orleans. He and his boyfriend wanna meet for dinner on Saturday. Would you like to go? I think you’ll really like my friend. Something about you reminds me of him.”

 

Sasuke hesitated. Going out with Naruto was a pleasure. Meeting his friends, though, was a wholly different thing. When he saw the hopeful look in Naruto’s eyes, he realized he would not say no.

 

“Do I need to dress up?” he asked.

 

Naruto grinned. “Is that a yes?”

 

Sasuke kissed Naruto firmly on the lips. “It’s a yes. Pick me up after work. Assuming my work clothes are acceptable.”

 

“Sasuke, you’d be acceptable in a trash bag. Trust me, no one cares what a man as fine as you is wearing,” Naruto replied. He grabbed Sasuke’s ass and swatted it lightly. “Unless you decided to wear nothing, in which case everybody would care a whole lot.” He leaned forward and slipped his tongue into Sasuke’s mouth.

 

Sasuke pulled him close as their tongues battled heatedly for dominance.

 

“Damn, Sasuke, it’s hard to leave you,” Naruto said when he pulled away. He kissed him on the forehead, the way he always did when he said goodbye. Sasuke loved those sweet, chaste little kisses just as much as the passionate ones. It struck a chord with his most cherished childhood memories.

 

Sasuke kissed Naruto’s nose. “If you don’t leave soon, Naruto, I’m not going to be able to open the shop again for a while.”

 

Naruto pouted. “Would that be so bad?”

 

Sasuke shrugged. “I might not make my revenue for the week. Then I might not be able to pay bills, and then I might not be able to support Sarada...”

 

“Bringing the kids into this isn’t fair,” Naruto mumbled. “But I’m going, so you don’t end up whoring on the streets after losing your livelihood.”

 

As he turned to go, Sasuke pulled him back, bringing his back against his chest. “We’ll make up for lost time, Naruto,” he whispered before biting his ear mischievously.

 

“We’d better,” Naruto said. Sasuke could hear the smile in his voice. “Especially if you’re gonna tell me to go and then do stuff like that.”

 

“Turn the sign around on your way out, please,” Sasuke called as Naruto walked through the store. Naruto raised his hand in acknowledgment.

 

He fondly watched Naruto walk away as he went back to work, rolling his eyes when Naruto blew him a kiss goodbye.

 

His phone buzzed.

 

_Hi, Papa._

 

Sasuke smiled a little. After Naruto had made a small fuss about texting, he had begun to wonder if this was something that Sarada might expect, as well, so he had tried it on days when he did not see her.

 

_How are you, Sarada?_

 

_Doing well. Just saying hello. Have a good day._

 

_You too. See you tomorrow._

 

Texting Sarada was different from texting Naruto. She never used emoticons or emojis, for one thing, and she never called him “bastard” or “asshole,” for another. Beyond that, they simply texted each other once a day to maintain contact, as opposed to texting to express affection. Sasuke had come to understand how insecure Sarada was about his promise to stay in her life. This was a simple, unobtrusive way to reassure her when they were apart. Naruto had changed more of his habits in a few weeks than a lifetime of obligation and guilt had managed to do.

 

* * *

 

Sasuke began shutting the store down early on Saturday, despite his reluctance about going out to meet Naruto’s friends. He was an asocial creature, accustomed to solitude. Naruto had been an unlikely intrusion who had quickly made a space for himself in Sasuke’s world—a unique phenomenon. Sasuke was not in the market for further intrusions. Most people were neither as amiable nor as deferential as Naruto, and Sasuke saw no reason to weed through trivialities and annoyances on the off-chance that someone might be.

 

Still… Naruto had made a place in his life, a place Sasuke had begun to cherish, and he was determined to honor that. Since they had awkwardly confessed that they cared for each other, Sasuke had begun to consider the possibility that he might have to accommodate Naruto’s close friends, as well. Friendship was important to Naruto, and Naruto was important to Sasuke.

By the time Naruto arrived, Sasuke was locking the door. He took a long look at the blond man when he stepped out onto the sidewalk; he wore black jeans and a fitted white tee shirt with a black jacket over it. Sasuke could see the ripples of Naruto’s abs under the shirt and the powerful quadriceps through the jeans. His body was suffused with warmth at his memories of that toned form unclothed.

“Hey, Sasuke! Wow, you look great!” Naruto grinned wolfishly as he looked Sasuke over.

Sasuke’s face heated with the knowledge that Naruto was having the same kinds of thoughts he was.

Naruto walked over to Sasuke and hugged him before taking his bag.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “Do you really have to do the gallant gentleman act with me, Naruto?” he asked with mock peevishness. “Flowers, carrying my bag… I’m not a damsel in distress, moron.”

“Do you have to be in distress for me to wanna be sweet to you, bastard?” Naruto answered back. He toyed with the collar of Sasuke’s shirt. “All black. Just like the night we met.” Sasuke desperately wanted to close the space between them, the space they filled with banter and silly gestures, and kiss Naruto the way he’d been wanting to for days. He knew, though, that he and Naruto both had good reasons to limit public displays of affection for the time being. He smiled as he thought of how foreign such a concept had been to him a few weeks ago.

He suffered Naruto carrying his bags for him and got into the passenger seat of Naruto’s SUV. When Naruto was seated, he lifted Sasuke’s hand to his lips. “I missed you, Sasuke,” he said with a longing rasp.

Sasuke looked into Naruto’s impossibly blue eyes and smiled. “It’s been three days.”

“Three long, horrible, boring days without kissing you,” Naruto protested.

“Are you always this impatient and greedy?” Sasuke asked, hoping that the answer was yes.

“Only when I’m waiting for something really special,” Naruto said. His face was so childlike and open that it made Sasuke cringe. If anything, anything at all, were to dim the light in Naruto’s eyes… Sasuke despised the thought.

He placed an innocent, lingering kiss upon Naruto’s lips as an antidote to the dark thoughts, and when they drove off with the setting sun hovering over their left shoulders, he was happy to hold his hand in the privacy of their safe little bubble.

* * *

The hotel they stopped at was huge and imposing, and Sasuke knew it to be the most expensive in the city. He tensed up. He knew Naruto enjoyed making big gestures, but he couldn’t believe that a principal’s salary would accommodate such profligate spending.

 

“Don’t worry. My friend is hella rich. He likes to spite his dead father by spending his inheritance taking his boyfriend to fancy places.” Naruto seemed to have read his mind. “I would never be able to afford the valet’s tip in a place like this, much less a room.”

They shouldered their overnight bags and hiked into the lobby. A stunningly handsome man with green eyes and blond highlights strutted over to greet them. “I finally get to meet you, Naruto! Your eyes are even bluer than they are in pictures. Aren’t you the cutest thing!” The man kissed Naruto’s pink-tinted cheek, as Sasuke scowled.

The man turned his attention to Sasuke. “Well, hello, Mr. Tall-Dark-n-Handsome!” Before Sasuke could fully respond or even begin to process the attention, the man had kissed his cheek, also. “Your skin is delicious,” he pronounced. “Do you even have pores? I need to know your regimen.”

Sasuke stared, speechless, as the man continued to ramble in his Southern accent. “Look at me, acting like I’ve known you forever! Well, it feels like I have, Naruto, I have heard so much about you!” He extended a hand to Naruto and then to Sasuke. “I’m shallow.”

 _Obviously,_ Sasuke thought.

“Mr. Love-Demon excused himself, but I’ve been dying to meet Naruto,” the self-proclaimed shallow man enthused. “You must have been so confused when I just attacked you like a lab puppy.” He laughed, and despite himself, Sasuke’s lips quirked upwards.

_Just like Naruto._

“Honey!” the man called out across the lobby. “Look who’s here!”

A pale, redheaded man made his way towards them. Sasuke narrowed his eyes as he grew closer, and his fist clenched when the redhead hugged Naruto tightly.

“I see you’ve met Shiloh,” the man said to Naruto.

So… he hadn’t been telling them he was shallow. He had been introducing himself in his native… patois. It was somewhere between a drawl and a twang; Sasuke had never heard such a wide array of vowels and diphthongs in such a brief space of time before.

“You didn’t tell me we were meeting such gorgeous men,” Shiloh said petulantly. “I’d have made more of an effort.”

The redheaded man smiled at his theatrical companion, then turned to face Sasuke. His large, kohl-rimmed green eyes widened just a fraction. “Uchiha,” he said softly.

“Suna,” Sasuke murmured.

Naruto, who’d been unusually quiet during this entire exchange, suddenly gasped in surprise. He grinned with joy. “You guys know each other already?” he asked.

“We were schoolmates,” Gaara said quietly.

“Wow, I didn’t even think about that! Small world!” Naruto seemed to miss the undercurrent of tension between his friend and Sasuke. “Gaara is one of my very best friends in the world. How cool is it that you already knew each other, Sasuke?”

“Konoha is indeed a small world,” Gaara said.

“Small and interesting,” Sasuke grumbled.

Shiloh clapped his hands together. “I cannot wait to hear all the old school stories. Naruto, Gaara talks about you constantly. It makes me so happy to finally get to know you!”

This seemed to please Naruto, Sasuke noted. He wondered what his history with Gaara had been.

“Gaara has been a wonderful friend to me,” Naruto said with great sincerity. “I’m horrible with names, Shiloh, I’m sorry—but Gaara has talked a lot about you, too.”

“And you, beautiful?” Shiloh said, looking at Sasuke. “What’s your name again?”

“Sasuke.”

Shiloh hugged him. “Sass-gay, I am so glad you could make it! You and Naruto look perfect together, don’t they, baby?”

“Here are the keys to your room,” Gaara said, ignoring Shiloh’s comment and extending two cards to Naruto. “You’re next door to me and Shiloh. Shall we put your bags away and pursue dinner?”

“Listen to you, ‘pursue dinner.’ You gonna hunt us down a caribou, babe?” Shiloh asked with a lilting laugh. “I never get tired of the way he phrases things.”

The four men made their way to the elevators, Shiloh chattering to Naruto almost nonstop, Sasuke and Gaara appraising each other warily but silently.

Unease filled Sasuke’s chest. It was as if a horrible portal had opened, allowing the horrors of his past life to creep into the little world he’d begun to create with Naruto. He forced himself to be attentive, to listen carefully to everything that was being said and planned by the three men around him. He was all too happy to enter the impersonal sanctuary of his and Naruto’s room.

“I’m such a dumb ass,” Naruto said as the door closed behind them. “Of course, you and Gaara knew each other. I forgot you guys went to the big, important school together. Were you guys friends at all?”

“No,” Sasuke said plainly. “I didn’t do friendship in school. And I dropped out when I was fourteen.”

“Ah, ok. But you knew each other, yeah? Gaara used to be a real badass hellraiser in those days. I met him in martial arts competitions. He hated me at first.”

Sasuke imagined he was right. Gaara had not been a friendly type, either.

It was a relief when Naruto pulled him close. Naruto placed a small peck on Sasuke’s lips. Sasuke immediately possessed Naruto’s mouth with his, biting at his lower lip before tracing its outline with his tongue.

Naruto moaned as their tongues danced passionately. All too quickly, he pushed Sasuke away. “We have to go to dinner,” he said breathlessly. “But we are definitely picking up where we left off later.”

Sasuke affected a flat expression. “If you say so.”

Naruto elbowed him. “If I say so, what? You think I’m not gonna make good on my promise?”

“If you say so about dinner,” Sasuke said. “I’ll go if you insist, but...” He attempted to kiss Naruto again, but Naruto laughed and shoved him away.

“Quit, please! I’m weak. If we keep kissing, I won’t be able to leave this room. C’mon. Let’s go and be social.” He grabbed Sasuke by the hand and pulled him towards the door.

“Is it ok,” Naruto whispered in the elevator, “if I keep holding your hand? Since we’re not at home?”

Sasuke squeezed Naruto’s hand in assent. He was secretly pleased to be able to touch Naruto openly. Naruto’s hand, so warm and comforting entwined with his, took the cold edge off of having to stare down a face from his past.

Gaara and Shiloh stood waiting for them in the foyer. Gaara looked pointedly at Sasuke’s and Naruto’s linked hands, then looked from Sasuke’s face to Naruto’s. The appraisal irritated Sasuke and offended him.

Sasuke barely heard Shiloh’s babbling or Naruto’s responses. He wished he had not agreed to this trip at all; how Naruto could even have befriended someone like Gaara bewildered him. As soon as the thought occurred to him, he realized that Naruto befriending him was equally bewildering, and for the same reasons. He suppressed a shiver.

They dined in the hotel restaurant. Sasuke realized that he’d normally hate being around a person like Shiloh, but he was profoundly grateful to him tonight for keeping the conversation from going stale or from becoming overly focused upon Sasuke.

He could tell Naruto liked talking to the flamboyant man. Given Shiloh’s overly flirtatious manner, this did not serve to endear him to Sasuke. He soon realized, though, that this was just Shiloh’s way, either an affectation for the public or a harmless part of his personality.

“Oh, my goodness, you are adorable!” he gushed at the waitress when she arrived. “You are like, two minutes old, tops! What are you doing working? You’re just a baby!”

When the girl shyly remarked that she was working through the summers to pay for college, Shiloh had continued effusively. “Well, you are just too precious. Your eyes are beautiful! You’re gonna have to help me out, because I’m from out of town and I have no idea what to order!”

Naruto caught Sasuke’s eye and smiled at the interaction. Gaara, Sasuke noticed, beamed indulgently at Shiloh.

“He could make friends with a brick wall,” Gaara said, the note of pride clear in his voice.

Sasuke again was struck by the similarity to Naruto.

Between Shiloh and Naruto, the conversation went smoothly. Sasuke’s irritation crept back when Gaara took the reins.

“How did you two meet?” he asked, looking from Naruto to Sasuke.

Naruto laughed. “Well, I kind of got on his nerves and called him names at this awful hipster craft-beer bar,” he said.

Sasuke cleared his throat. “You called me _‘Lord Bat Gothfather,’”_ he interjected.

Gaara smiled in his unsettling way. Shiloh guffawed.

“You remembered!” Naruto said fondly.

“I’m surprised you do,” Sasuke shot back, squeezing Naruto’s hand.

“You were drunk? Oh my god!” Shiloh laughed.

“Yes. He was drunk. He sang, he danced, it was a real show,” Sasuke continued.

Naruto’s face and ears burned red, but he laughed along.

“Sasuke was so nice to me,” he said. “I was a total douche bag, but he brought me back to his place because I was too drunk and weepy to fend for myself. He tucked me in on the couch and made me breakfast the next morning.”

It was Sasuke, this time, who blushed. Shiloh clasped his hands together and gasped. “He was your angel! How romantic!”

Sasuke let out a short, bark-like laugh at this proclamation. Gaara sat unsmiling, while Naruto grinned.

“Yeah, he’s my broody, bat-like goth-angel,” Naruto said playfully. Sasuke was ready for this conversation to be over.

“Ooh, I can see it!” Shiloh enthused. “I can see you in, like, a black, form-fitting sleeveless top, and black leather pants, with a black collar, and black wings. Oooh, and we have to do your eyes.  Avenging Angel, Sasuke.” Sasuke looked at him agape.

“Please don’t kill me if I say I could totally see you that way, Sasuke!” Naruto said laughingly.

“That’s it. We have got to do Halloween together, don’t we Gaara? We could come up for Halloween with Sasuke and Naruto? Or we could bring them down to NOLA!” Shiloh beamed with childlike joy at this idea. “What are we gonna do with you, Naruto? Oh, I know, you need to be a wild animal, because you kind of have that look in your eye. I’ve got it; you need to be a fox. A sexy, kind of menacing fox!”

Naruto laughed and pulled his shirt collar down where Shiloh could see his Kitsune tattoo.

Shiloh squealed. “I can’t believe this! I guessed your spirit animal!” Shiloh was now fanning himself excitedly, as if it were all too amazing to believe.

Gaara interrupted Naruto’s and Shiloh’s conversation about Halloween and demon foxes. “So, what do you do, Sasuke?” He stared at Sasuke as if he would burn holes through him.

“Sasuke is a bookseller. That’s actually how we ended up going out. I wasn’t brave enough to ask him out or get his number after being such an ass when I was drunk,” Naruto supplied.

“Usuratonkachi,” Sasuke muttered. “You weren’t that bad, and you weren’t an ass or a douche bag at all.” Naruto looked at him affectionately, and Sasuke wished that he could just pull Naruto back up to their room

“What kind of books do you sell, then?” Gaara’s tone of voice implied that he didn’t quite believe that this was Sasuke’s profession.

“Mostly Japanese and Japanese-American history, plus Japanese fiction, travel, and arts books. I also sell Japanese artifacts,” Sasuke said irritably.

“You sell art. How interesting,” Gaara said.

“I am not an art dealer, nor do I pretend to be.”

“I see,” said Gaara. He had not removed his eyes from Sasuke’s face this entire time.

Sasuke was all too glad when the waitress brought the check.

“Don’t you _dare_ tip that girl just 20 percent!” Shiloh scolded Gaara as he signed the check. “She was good at her job, and you know some of these bastards have stiffed her.”

Gaara looked at Shiloh blankly. “How much do you recommend?”

“Give her at least 50 percent,” Shiloh instructed. “She was very sweet to us.”

Gaara shook his head at the exorbitant amount, but his lips briefly curled upwards in a smile. “Fifty percent it is, then,” he said. “You’re going to send us to the poorhouse, Shiloh.”

Shiloh scoffed. “Honey, we ain’t in the poorhouse, nowhere near it, and we certainly have got enough to leave a little extra when we’re taken care of.”

“Shiloh owns a restaurant. He was a waiter for over a decade, so he believes firmly in tipping the waitstaff well,” Gaara explained. Naruto agreed, and he and Shiloh were soon having an animated conversation about what a turn-off it was when people were rude to servers.

Gaara turned his focus back on Sasuke. “It looks as if these two are still in the mood to socialize. Let’s move this along to a bar.”

Shiloh and Naruto both agreed eagerly to this plan, and soon, they were walking down the sidewalk in front of the hotel to a bar that Shiloh had read about. Sasuke again took comfort in Naruto walking by his side and holding his hand. He wanted Naruto to enjoy his time with his friends, but he also tired of Gaara scrutinizing him.

The bar Shiloh had chosen was only about three blocks from the hotel. Walking in, Sasuke realized that most of the patrons were gay couples. Vintage music churned out of the speakers, and there was a crowded dance floor. To Sasuke’s relief, there was also a section with snugs situated at a comfortable distance from the speakers.

This was where Gaara led them. Shiloh was soon fidgeting and saying he wanted to dance. “I know you aren’t going to dance with me, fuddy-duddy,” he told Gaara with a pout. “But I really wanna dance, please, please, please?”

“You always ask and I always say the same thing. Go on. Enjoy yourself,” Gaara answered. To Sasuke’s dismay, Shiloh grabbed at Naruto’s sleeve and tugged him along.

“C’mon, Naruto! I bet you dance! Sasuke? Come with!” Both Shiloh and Naruto looked at him, Naruto grinning mischievously and Shiloh pleadingly.

“Go ahead, Naruto,” Sasuke said. “I don’t dance, Shiloh.” Naruto kissed him briefly on the lips and hugged him.

“Thanks, Sasuke,” he whispered.

“Yay! Let’s go! This is one of my favorite songs!” Shiloh cried as he pulled Naruto to the dance floor. Sasuke thought sourly that Shiloh probably said that about all songs.

He watched as Shiloh and Naruto laughed and danced; the attention the pair received from the men around him did not escape him. It was an odd feeling. Watching Naruto as he laughed, appreciating his enthusiasm and unabashed silliness, he was also jealous that he wasn’t the cause or the recipient of his laughter and smiles. He was pleased to note that Shiloh kept a respectable distance from him, but other men eyed Naruto hungrily, and it infuriated him.

“Uchiha.” Gaara’s voice interrupted his conflicting thoughts.

“Suna.”

“I wasn’t expecting you to be the one Naruto was seeing,” Gaara said.

“Hn.”

“I’m going to get us some drinks. What will you have?”

“Whiskey. Neat,” he told the pale redhead.

Gaara nodded and walked off, and Sasuke frowned after him.

Gaara returned more quickly than Sasuke would have liked. He set Sasuke’s whiskey in front of him carefully and resumed his place across from him.

“You and Naruto seem like an odd match,” he said after a long, glaring silence.

“Same could be said for you and Shiloh,” Sasuke returned.

“Shiloh reminds me a lot of Naruto. Except that he can dance and he wouldn’t be caught dead wearing orange.” Gaara’s mouth quirked upwards, but Sasuke was not amused.

Sasuke took a drink, relishing the searing heat of the whiskey in his mouth and throat.

“The last time I knew of you, Uchiha, you most certainly weren’t a bookseller,” Gaara said pointedly.

“The last time I knew you, you weren’t pretending to be a restaurateur, Suna.”

Gaara looked at Sasuke with his intense, otherworldly eyes. “Have you retired from your previous pursuits?”

“Have you?” Sasuke shot back.

“I don’t care one way or another what you do,” Gaara said quietly, “except for how it impacts Naruto.”

Sasuke kept his expression blank, despite the anger threatening to boil over. “I realize you never properly knew me, Suna,” he said calmly, “but I was always careful not to engage innocent people in my ‘pursuits.’”

“Your assessment of innocence could prove to be suspect,” Gaara retorted.

“If you have something to say, you should say it outright, Suna.” Sasuke’s voice remained calm.

“You are well aware of my reputation from our school days,” Gaara said. “I have left that life behind, largely due to Naruto’s influence. But make no mistake; I could easily revert to prior form if I discovered that you had hurt or compromised Naruto in any way.”

Sasuke’s hands clenched into fists under the table.

“Threats? Perhaps I should extend the same to you, since I know as much about your past as you do about mine,” he replied.

“Perhaps you should,” Gaara rejoined.

“I didn’t come here to befriend you. I came because Naruto asked me. I refuse to answer to your interrogations. I’ll be clear, though, for Naruto’s sake; I left my "pursuits" behind a long time ago, but should I ever discover that you have caused Naruto harm, keep in mind what I am capable of.”

“I’m not your rival,” Gaara said softly.

“Hn. You’re right,” Sasuke shot back. “How long were you in love with him?”

He could see the shift in Gaara’s eyes.

“Like I said, I am not your rival. I am Naruto’s friend, and I owe him far too much to allow someone to drag him headlong into danger.”

Sasuke believed Gaara. Regardless of that, he was tired of the conversation and the endless probing. He turned around to watch Naruto dance.

Naruto’s face glowed. He was no more gifted a dancer than he had been when he was drunk, but his carefree exuberance was both a balm and a poison to Sasuke’s soul. He flailed about with childlike abandon, just happy to be alive.

Sasuke tensed when another man, slightly taller and broader than Naruto, came up behind the blond and wrapped his arm around his waist. Sasuke squeezed out of the snug and walked towards the dance floor. Naruto removed the man’s hands from his body and continued to dance with Shiloh.

He smiled brightly when Sasuke caught his eye, and Sasuke moved towards him without thinking. It was the same as it always had been for Sasuke; Naruto held an irresistible magnetism. Naruto took him into his arms and kissed him deeply while swaying with the music. Sasuke reciprocated instinctively.

“Having fun?” Sasuke asked when they pulled away.

“So much. Are you gonna dance, Sasuke?”

“I told you before...”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, you don’t dance, ever,” Naruto said with a laugh.

“You want something to drink?” Sasuke asked him.

“Yeah, would you grab me a beer?”

Sasuke nodded.

“Shiloh, anything for you?” Sasuke asked. He felt that the evening would have gone sideways very quickly had the lighthearted man not been there.

“Oh, thank you, sugar! Could you get me a margarita?”

Sasuke nodded again and walked towards the bar. To his surprise, Shiloh caught up with him and grabbed him by the arm. “C’mon, honey, let’s get to know each other while our menfolk catch up. Join me at the bar?”

Sasuke shrugged dourly.

“Oh, don’t look so dark, you’ll have him all to yourself soon! But I haven’t really gotten to know you, yet, Sasuke.”

“Fine.”

They sat at the bar together after Sasuke brought Naruto’s drink to the snug where he chatted amiably with Gaara.

“I have to tell you, Sasuke,” Shiloh said, leaning in close and putting his hand on Sasuke’s shoulder, “your aura is absolutely overwhelming. That’s really why I wanted to chat with you.”

Sasuke coughed, choking on his drink. He hadn’t heard anything that ridiculous in years.

“Don’t look like that! I’m serious. All Southerners are at least a little bit psychic, you know. It’s all our crazy bloodlines.” Shiloh looked completely sincere.

“Does everyone in New Orleans have your accent?” Sasuke asked.

“Oh, no. New Orleans has its own accent. It sounds kinda like Brooklyn. I’m from southeast Mississippi. But back to you...” to Sasuke’s indignation, Shiloh picked up his left hand and held it in both of his, closing his eyes tightly.

Sasuke looked around the bar. A few men looked over at the two of them, smirking.

“Oooh, yes, you have a very interesting aura! There’s a lot of black… but also red… something kinda pulsing… but, there’s something very pure and bright. You’re a person of purity,” Shiloh intoned.

He opened his eyes and looked at Sasuke, but didn’t drop his hand. “I see darkness, like a heavy cloud, following you, but I also see light… and when you step into the light, Sasuke, oh, my god! Nobody’s gonna be able to look at you without sunglasses!”

Sasuke fought the urge to laugh. Shiloh had been pleasant to Naruto, so he bit back the urge to snark at him.

“Yes, I see a bright light coming to surround you soon, but you have to be able to step out into it,” Shiloh continued. “I know you’re in love with Naruto, so you’ll be happy to know that the two of you are actually soulmates.” He dropped Sasuke’s hands and his eyes grew large. “Soulmates! I’ve never seen soulmates before. Well, except with me and Mr. Fuddy-Duddy over there.”

Sasuke had been sitting, stunned, ever since Shiloh had so casually announced the he knew Sasuke was in love with Naruto.

“You looked shocked. Don’t be. Anybody with one eye and half sense can tell how far gone you are for that blue-eyed boy. And he’s just as far gone for you.” Shiloh picked up Sasuke’s hand again. “Oh, this is interesting… you and Naruto seem to have been together in several past lives. I’ve never gotten anything about past lives before, is that a Japanese thing?”

He didn’t wait for Sasuke to answer. “Anyway. This is it. This is your last lifetime to get it right, so you need to grab a hold of that man and hang on tight. Something about the two of you being together is important… it’s kind of a human race thing… Oh my god!” Shiloh dropped Sasuke’s hand again and fanned himself. “I see a spiritual bloodline beginning with the two of you. It will last for generations, Sasuke! You are so lucky!”

Sasuke smirked. _Bloodlines. Ridiculous._

“I know, I know, you don’t believe in the spirits. But the spirits believe in you!” Shiloh said, as if Sasuke had spoken aloud.

“I see that dark cloud—it’s not from you, it’s something different. But I sense a strong presence, a protection. I think… you have a brother, right?”

Sasuke’s blood ran cold.

“He’s dead,” he said, and he regretted the way his voice hitched.

Shiloh looked sad and embarrassed. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. He seemed so close… maybe it’s because he’s part of you.”

Sasuke swallowed hard. There was no way that Itachi _being part of him_ could make up for never being able to hear his voice, or see his face, or say, “I’m sorry” to him again.

“I really am sorry, Sasuke. I… well, I’m just really sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Sasuke said, dismissing Shiloh’s extended hand.

“You know,” Shiloh said quietly, “I have a Maw-Maw. And she… well, I can’t explain it, but she’s with me. Just like she was in life, protecting me. It’s hard to grow up gay in the South, you know?” Shiloh’s eyes watered.

“I ended up living with Maw-Maw, and she always accepted me. She told me she didn’t care who I loved as long as they were good to me. And when she died, I know it made my mom and dad so mad, but she left me her entire estate so I would never have to be at my parents’ mercy again.” Shiloh wiped some tears out of his eyes with the back of his hand. “So, I feel like I know a little bit about your brother. Like, he just was looking out for you all your life, and he wouldn’t stop just because he died, would he? Of course not. So, he’s still with you.”

Sasuke scowled. “Did you ever think that maybe you’ve just made up your Maw-Maw being with you still to make yourself feel better?”  


Shiloh looked unfazed. “Sure, I have. And if that’s true, well, more power to my mind! I’d be a genius to make up something like that. But I do believe it. Anyway, Sasuke, I realize you’re probably like Gaara, and you don’t believe all this, but you have a lot to offer the world and it just rolls off you in waves. So I just had to spend some time with you and figure you out a little. You and Naruto… I mean, I know it’s new, but when you know, you know. Just like how I knew Gaara was meant to be mine when I saw him watching me dance in a second line. It’s beautiful.”

“How did you meet Gaara?” Sasuke asked.

“I was dancing in a second line in NOLA, and he was there on vacation. And we just saw each other, you know? I could have died. I had to keep marching, but my heart was going 90 to nothin’, and all I could think about was that I just walked past my soulmate, and I’ll never see him again. And would you believe, the next day, his pretty red head walked into my restaurant! I haven’t let him go since!” Shiloh clapped his hands together happily.

“His aura was a lot like yours,” Shiloh said. “I mean, I don’t know what all he got up to before we met, but you just don’t go and get a big, red tattoo on your face because your life is all sunshine and puppies, know what I mean?  There was definitely some darkness there.  Maw-Maw approved of him, though, so that helped a lot.”

Sasuke laughed, then yawned,suddenly feeling inexplicably tired and lightheaded.

“Is it pumpkin time, Cinderella?” Shiloh asked playfully.

“Excuse me?”

Shiloh laughed. “Is it your bedtime, princess?”

Sasuke tilted his head. “Yes, I believe it is.”

* * *

 

Naruto buzzed with enthusiasm when they returned to their room. “Shiloh’s a blast! He is so… I don’t know what the word is. He is so cheerful and excited about everything! He’s kind of a flirt, but I think he’s harmless. I mean, Gaara wouldn’t put up with it if he were serious. Didn’t you think he said his name was ‘shallow’ at first? His accent is a trip!”

Sasuke grunted in response, slipping his shoes off at the door. “He believes he’s a psychic and that you and I are the progenitors of a “spiritual bloodline,” whatever that means, so I don’t think it’s just his accent that’s a trip.”

Naruto laughed. “Spiritual bloodline! Have you ever heard anything like that?”

“Can’t say I have,” Sasuke mumbled. He sat on the bed and unrolled his socks.

“I had such a good time tonight, Sasuke, thanks for coming with me.” Sasuke looked up into Naruto’s eyes and smiled.

“I’m glad.”

Naruto sat beside him and kissed him, placing his hand on his chest. “You and Gaara seemed so serious. What did you guys talk about?”

“Not much. School days,” Sasuke said shortly.

Naruto kissed him again, much more passionately this time. Sasuke kissed him back hungrily, grabbing the back of his head and smashing their lips together hard. He thrust his tongue into Naruto’s mouth, tasting and feeling as Naruto drew closer.

Naruto responded heatedly, his fingers ripping at Sasuke’s buttons as their lips and tongues collided and melded. Sasuke sucked longingly on Naruto’s tongue before biting at his lower lip.

Naruto pushed him backwards on the bed roughly. Sasuke liked this, the way that their intimacy brought out Naruto’s dominant side. Naruto grasped his waist, and Sasuke inhaled sharply at the feeling of Naruto’s fingers on his naked skin. Craving more, he tore at Naruto’s shirt. Naruto obliged him, quickly stripping off his jacket and shirt as he stared down at Sasuke.

Sasuke ran his hands over Naruto’s broad back and shoulders, restraining himself from scratching at the smooth, firm skin. He lightly scraped the pink nipples with his nails. Naruto gasped. Sasuke gripped Naruto’s slender waist and pulled him down, letting out a sough as he felt Naruto’s skin against his own.

There were no words to describe Naruto’s weight against him. It felt like passion, and promise, and safety. It felt _right_. He opened his legs, allowing Naruto to slide between them, and pulled his lover’s face down to kiss him again.

He never wanted to stop kissing Naruto. The awkwardness of seeing Suna again, the eerie feeling of Shiloh mentioning Itachi, the tension of the entire evening bled out of Sasuke’s mind and body as Naruto teased his mouth and ground against him.

Sasuke could have whined when Naruto pulled away from their kiss, only to arch his back when he gently bit into flesh of Sasuke’s throat. As Naruto kissed and sucked Sasuke’s chest and stomach, Sasuke was overwhelmed with a need to make Naruto feel everything he was feeling.

He shoved the broad-shouldered man onto his back before straddling him and kissing him savagely. He answered Naruto’s tug at his hair by sucking his bottom lip into his mouth and biting. Naruto’s hips shot upwards, causing his cock to rub against Sasuke’s. Both men moaned loudly at the sensation.

Sasuke released Naruto’s lips and stared down at him. Naruto _did_ look wild and animalistic this way, with his glassy, dilated eyes, his chest heaving and his lips parted. Sasuke could not have defined what overtook him, whether it was the sight of Naruto’s toned body so primed for Sasuke’s touch, or whether it was the residual sense of threat he’d felt from Gaara, or something else completely, but he was possessed with a need to completely take Naruto over.

Their kisses had never been so wild or wanton.Both men grabbed and shoved against each other; Sasuke was not gentle as he explored Naruto’s body with his lips and tongue and teeth. He bit at his neck and his shoulders. He sucked hungrily at Naruto’s nipples and rolled his hips against him. Naruto responded just as fervently, thrusting up to meet Sasuke and gripping his ass.

He worked his way down Naruto’s stomach, to the place where the seal tattoo half disappeared into Naruto’s trousers. He tongued Naruto’s navel, urged on by the guttural moans rumbling out of his throat.

“You never told me,” he said, panting, “why you got this.” He laid his palm flat over the black seal, making circles over the ink. Naruto moaned and lifted his hips higher, seeking greater contact, but Sasuke pushed him back down and grabbed his wrists.

“Tell me,” he said, and although he was the one demanding, and he was the one pinning Naruto to the bed, it was more of a plea than anything.

Naruto sat up, easily freeing himself from Sasuke’s restraint, and pulled Sasuke’s legs around his waist.

“I’m not just what you see, Sasuke,” he said, his voice low and husky. “There is darkness here.” He took Sasuke’s hand and held it over his chest so he could feel his heart pounding beneath his palm.

“This...” he brought Sasuke’s hand back to the seal, “this is my vow to control it. And to not let it control me.”

He cradled the back of Sasuke’s head with one hand and pulled him back towards him, laying claim once again to his lips.

A fever exploded inside of Sasuke as he clasped Naruto closer with his arms and legs. He did not break their crazed kiss as he shoved Naruto back down against the bed. His hand snaked between them to grip Naruto’s throbbing cock. He stroked firmly through the fabric of Naruto’s pants as Naruto whimpered against his lips.

He continued to caress firmly but slowly as he made his way down Naruto’s body. He wasted no time unbuckling Naruto’s belt and opening his fly, sliding his pants and briefs down over his tanned, muscular legs.

Naruto’s cock twitched at the exposure, demanding attention that Sasuke was all too willing to give. He bit and sucked at Naruto’s inner thighs, intentionally leaving his mark, as he wrapped his fist around the swollen, leaking member.

He tongued the engorged head, swirling and sucking at the glistening slit, then sucked it into his mouth.

“Sasuke!” Naruto cried loudly, bucking his hips upwards.

Sasuke took more and more of Naruto’s length into his mouth, relaxing his throat and swallowing down as much as he could. He moved his head up and down, sucking as he did so and swirling his tongue against the underside of Naruto’s dick.

His own cock throbbed when Naruto thrust into his mouth, hitting the back of Sasuke’s throat and making him gag a little. He looked up at Naruto, his eyes watering. The way Naruto stared down at him, as if Sasuke was the most precious thing in the world, as if he had no control over himself anymore, fueled Sasuke’s desire even more. He sucked at Naruto harder, allowing him to fuck into his mouth wildly.

“So… good...” Naruto panted. “’ske… so good...”

He felt Naruto’s testicles grow tight. He gripped Naruto’s hips, continuing to suck as Naruto spilled his warm seed into Sasuke’s mouth and throat. He realized this was something he would gladly do again and again. Nothing could have prepared him for how intimate and consuming it was to feel Naruto in his mouth, to taste him and drink his essence, to see him staring down at him so lustfully and affectionately.

He licked Naruto’s softening cock clean before moving up to lie against him again. Naruto put one arm over Sasuke and sighed contentedly.

“So… good, Sasuke,” Naruto said. Sasuke responded by kissing him softly on the lips.

Naruto opened his eyes. “Kiss me for real,” he commanded.

Sasuke kissed him again, allowing Naruto to slide his tongue into his mouth.

He could not control himself as he rutted against Naruto’s thigh. His erection throbbed with need. He bit at Naruto’s shoulder greedily.

“I need to take care of you, don’t I?” Naruto asked sleepily. Sasuke continued moving against Naruto and kissing him.

“Come up here, pretty,” Naruto said, and it shouldn’t have felt so mind-alteringly good to be controlled this way, with commands and compliments.

Sasuke rose onto his knees and moved until he was straddling Naruto’s chest.

“That’s it,” Naruto coaxed. He grabbed Sasuke’s achingly turgid cock and brought it to his lips, tasting the pre-come that covered it. He licked from base to tip, coating it in saliva, then began pumping it with his hand.

He sucked at the head as he pumped, moving his mouth and his hand in a coordinated rhythm as Sasuke moaned and thrust his hips forward. His other hand moved over Sasuke’s ass and gripped it possessively.

Sasuke was lost in his body as he rocked forward. He stared down at Naruto.  The sight of him with his eyes half-closed as he nursed hungrily at Sasuke’s cock destroyed what was left of Sasuke’s restraint and he snapped his hips forward. Naruto looked up at him and opened his mouth, and Sasuke painted his orgasm over his lips and chin. The last thought Sasuke could formulate as his mind went blank was that he had never seen anything so perfectly carnal in his life.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope the OC wasn't too jarring or distracting from our two boys. Also, whew. Another long chapter, lol! So, Shiloh is based on one of my best friends, who, yes, believes he's a psychic, and he acts just like this except when he's mad, and then he's terrifying and will absolutely kick ass. He is the one who told me about a kid he knew named "Shiloh." I thought he was named "Shallow" for a long time. He was named after a Civil War battle, apparently, and his brother was named "Gettysburg." Our Shiloh will not figure heavily into our story. He will show up in cameos a couple of times more. I have a hard time pairing anyone in canon with Gaara, except that I see him needing someone a little bit like Naruto (but maybe way more over the top) to balance out his serious nature and bring levity into his life. 
> 
> Sasuke doesn't even know Kiba and already wants to kick his ass for hitting Naruto. I see these two as being very protective of each other, sometimes to the point of possessiveness, and occasionally to an unhealthy extent. If you agree or disagree, let me know! I'd love to discuss.
> 
> THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for everyone who has been so lovely as to read this fic, comment, and leave kudos. I have so enjoyed hearing your insights and opinions on this story and the characters, please always feel free to do so. You have all made writing this fic a fun journey.


	16. What I'm Capable Of

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A first argument, a selfie, a trip to Kurenai.  
> Warning: discussions of psychological trauma and grief. Not terribly explicit, but still...

Sasuke peeled himself away from Naruto with leaden limbs. He hadn’t known that orgasms could be so consuming. He lumbered to the bathroom and retrieved two wash cloths, recalling the tender way Naruto had tended to him after their first night together. He considered the fact that the two of them could wake up together, this time.

 

Naruto was sprawled across the bed half-awake when he returned. He sat beside him and kissed him, tasting the barely lingering remnants of himself on Naruto’s lips. Sasuke couldn’t say why he loved that. Perhaps it was similar to the way that seeing Naruto’s bite marks upon his body thrilled him, because it was evidence that he had connected to another person, proof of something he had shared with someone else.

 

He gently cleaned Naruto’s face and then his genitals, taking stock of the marks he’d left all over the other man’s body. The bruises on his inner thighs, particularly, taunted him with a guilty thrill. His memories flashed back to the man who’d tried dancing with Naruto earlier, and the many who’d undressed him with their eyes. Yet here, in angry, red and purple marks, was the proof that Sasuke had been where they had only dreamed of being. Savage satisfaction flooded him.

 

Naruto smiled and watched him through half-lidded eyes, lazily basking in Sasuke’s attention. “You are so amazing,” he said, his voice rumbling huskily. “Every time we’re together, it’s like I unlock a new level of orgasm.”

 

Sasuke chuckled. He knew what Naruto meant. He laid the washcloths on the side table and pulled back the covers. Naruto climbed beneath them, and Sasuke pulled him close. He kissed Naruto’s shoulder and the back of his neck. Unable to lie still, Naruto turned around to face Sasuke.

 

“You make me feel so good, Sasuke,” he said quietly. “I hope I make you feel good, too.”

 

“Don’t be an idiot. You obviously did.”

 

Naruto looked at him, eyes so full of adoration it made Sasuke ache. “I feel selfish when we’re together.”

 

Sasuke froze. “Usuratonkachi. That’s moronic.”

 

Naruto looked shy. “I don’t know how to please you. I feel like you deserve more.”

 

“Tch.” Sasuke could not hide his annoyance. “I don’t lie, Naruto. I am not going to tell you that you please me if you don’t. You were there, idiot. You saw the reaction you got. For fuck’s sake, you tasted it.”

 

Naruto smiled sleepily. “Yeah, I guess I did. I feel like I go crazy and lose all sense around you. I’m afraid I ignore you.”

 

Sasuke ran his fingers through Naruto’s hair. “Naruto...”

 

“Yeah?” Naruto yawned.

 

“You told me one time that you had been fucked over before, and that’s how you knew I wasn’t going to.”

 

“I remember that.”

 

“How were you so certain?” The afterglow dulled the edges of the questions in Sasuke’s mind, allowing him to vocalize them less painfully.

 

“I dunno. I just did,” Naruto mumbled.

 

“Naruto, I’m not like you,” Sasuke said. “You should know more about me before you worry too much about pleasing me.” He couldn’t bring himself to say what he really meant.

 

Naruto’s eyes flew wide open. He propped himself up on his elbow. “Now, who’s being a moron? Don’t talk like that, Sasuke.”

 

“You have experienced people fucking you over before. But have you ever fucked somebody over? Have you ever ruined someone’s life, or stolen something dear to them? Have you ever killed anyone, Naruto?” Sasuke couldn’t disguise the bitterness or the sadness that crept out with his words.

 

“What are you talking about, Sasuke?” Naruto asked nervously.

 

“I’m a criminal, Naruto,” Sasuke said plainly. “More specifically, I’m an international criminal. You won’t find my record. I was a juvenile when I committed my crimes. My records are sealed. But I did things...”

 

Naruto’s eyes filled with tears. Sasuke forced himself to maintain eye contact.

 

Naruto kissed his forehead. “Sasuke, you are such a fucking asshole.”

 

Sasuke looked at him coolly. “I have a past. It’s real. You know me as a bookseller in Konoha. You don’t know who I was before.”

 

Naruto gave him a mournful smile before punching him forcefully—and painfully—on the shoulder.

 

“Sasuke, you cunt. I don’t know whether to feel sad, or insulted, or amused,” he said. “Fuck your past. If you wanna tell me about it, I’ll listen. But if you don’t, you have no obligation to. I don’t know what I’ve done to give you the impression that I care more about what you did when you were a kid with a fucked-up life than who you are today or what you want to do with your future, but you’re seriously pissing me off.”

 

Sasuke heard his words, but they didn’t comfort him. “Are you always so optimistic?” he asked. “Do you think that a person just gets to rewrite their history because of good behavior?”

 

Naruto scowled. Sasuke could see he was genuinely angry.

 

“Is that what you think of me, Sasuke? Really?” Sasuke had never seen Naruto look so focused or intense.

 

“I’m friends with Gaara, and he did plenty of bat shit crazy, horrible stuff. You probably know that. Don’t think I didn’t notice how you two were talking to each other tonight. I’m not as much of an idiot as you apparently truly think I am.” Naruto threw the blanket off his legs and stomped off to the sink to fill a cup with water.

 

“Gaara put a friend of mine, a friend I love dearly to this day, in the hospital. He attacked me,” Naruto said. “But Gaara is a friend, now, too, and I don’t hold the choices he made as a fucked-up kid against him as a man.”

 

Naruto took a long drink of water then crumpled the cup and threw it away. “Why would I see you differently, Sasuke? Do you think I’m so blinded by attraction that I believe you’ve spent your life chasing butterflies and floating on clouds?”

 

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “You have no idea the things I’ve done, Naruto. I was in a crime syndicate. Do you understand? Drug deals. Extortion. Assassinations. Abductions. Human trafficking.”

 

Naruto looked so angry that, for a moment, Sasuke considered standing up and steeling himself for an attack.

 

“Don’t you dare talk to me like I’m some innocent kid,” he said with a growl. “Are you still in the syndicate, Sasuke?”

 

“No.”

 

“And you left it when you were still a minor?”

 

“Yes, Naruto. Not that this changes the fact that I committed serious crimes.”

 

“Then I don’t give two shits about it, Sasuke.” Naruto sat down beside him on the bed. “So if you wanna get rid of me, bastard, you’re gonna have to do better.”

 

The two men stared at each other intently, black eyes boring into blue.

 

Naruto snickered. Before Sasuke could ask him what he found so amusing, he was truly laughing, holding his sides and losing his breath.

 

Sasuke bristled. He got up and strode to his suitcase. He removed his pajamas and dressed himself as Naruto continued to guffaw. He had made it to the door of the room before Naruto realized his intent and bounded towards him.

 

“What the fuck are you doing, Sasuke?”

 

“I’m going to take a walk while you laugh at whatever you found so funny about this conversation,” he said evenly. Naruto grabbed his arm and pulled, but Sasuke refused to budge.

 

“Did you think I was laughing at you, Sasuke?” Naruto asked.

 

“Were you not?”

 

“No. I was laughing because this is the first time we’ve really argued, and we were both naked.” Naruto tugged harder at Sasuke’s arm. “It’s not the way I thought our first argument would be.”

 

Sasuke didn’t attempt to open the door, but he didn’t move towards Naruto, either. “This isn’t a trivial matter. If you’re going to take it seriously, I’ll talk to you. If not, there’s no reason to continue.”

 

Naruto sighed and looked down. “I wasn’t laughing at you, Sasuke. Or about the topic. Well, yeah. I was laughing at the topic a little bit. It’s like the day I had breakfast with you when I was hung over, and you were like, trying to convince me that you were dangerous or horrible or something. And I don’t know why. So, why, Sasuke? Why do you do this? Why is it so important to you to convince me that you’re a rotten, no-good person?”

 

Sasuke studied Naruto’s face. As usual, his expression was sincere and open—but Sasuke could still see hurt in Naruto’s eyes.

 

“I don’t know what I’m doing with you, Naruto,” Sasuke said after a long pause. Naruto’s face began to fall.

 

He continued. “I don’t know what you want, or what I can promise you.”

 

Naruto groaned and ran his hand through his hair. “I already told you, Sasuke. I don’t, either. And all I want? Is just to be with you.”

 

“If you want to be with me,” Sasuke pressed, “Then you need to know who I am. What I’m...” His mouth went dry as he recalled his conversation with Gaara. “…capable of.”

 

Naruto looked at him tiredly. “I understand, Sasuke. So you try to understand me, too. I really don’t care about your past. I care about who you are now. I like who you are now. I feel safe with who you are now. Who the fuck knows about the future? All kinds of shit can happen. But I trust you, and I want to see what happens when I spend more time with you.”

 

He allowed Naruto to take his hand. “When I was a kid,” Naruto said, “I used to have dreams about killing everybody in Konoha. Good dreams. Happy dreams. Do you understand?”

 

Sasuke said nothing, kept his features blank, as he listened.

 

“I hated everybody. I hated my foster parents, and my social workers, and my teachers, and all the kids who mocked me,” Naruto went on. “I was so full of rage. It took a lot of work, a whole lot, to get me past that point.”

 

“But you didn’t kill everyone in Konoha,” Sasuke said. “You didn’t kill anybody at all, am I correct? So what’s your point?”

 

The easygoing, open expression was gone. Naruto’s eyes looked dark. “My point is, that if one, tiny thing had gone differently at important times in my life, I could have done horrible things. I could have been a criminal. I could just as easily have been a mass murderer-slash-suicide. You don’t know how sick I feel every time I hear about a school shooting, Sasuke, because I know exactly how kids snap and do things like that.”

 

The comparison shocked Sasuke. He thought of the demon seal, of the Kurama tattoo. It hadn’t been youthful fancy; they had a real relevance for Naruto. He still thought Naruto was making a simple comparison.

 

“I didn’t grow up in foster care, Naruto,” Sasuke said, aware of the edge in his voice. “I _chose_ to be a criminal. I _chose_ to join an international crime syndicate. Do you understand?”

 

Naruto shook his head. “You say you chose. But you were a kid. You had very few real choices. You made your decision with an incomplete brain and probably with incomplete information. So fuck off with that shit. How would you feel if it were Sarada? If something horrible fucked up her life and she made some bad decisions in a few years?”

 

Sasuke grimaced. He had spent the bulk of the past 12 years making decisions based upon the avoidance of such scenarios.

 

“Answer me!” Naruto’s voice was uncharacteristically sharp. “If it was Sarada, would you just give up on her? Tell her she just fucked up her life, oh well, and she’s just a horrible person who needs to be written off forever?”

 

Sasuke understood the point Naruto was making, but he refused to concede.

 

Naruto grabbed him by both shoulders. “If this is an attempt to chase me away, then you need to learn something about Naruto Uzumaki,” he said firmly. “It’s going to take more than a shady past. A whole lot more. I don’t scare easy. You got it?”

 

Sasuke said nothing to this; he just looked at Naruto, his posture and his expression unchanging. The two men stared at each other, Sasuke still and apparently composed, and Naruto, clearly agitated and heaving with urgency.

 

“Why Gaara?” Sasuke asked at last. “Why did you care about him if he put your friend in a hospital? Why the hell would you care about someone who hurt someone close to you?”

 

The question seemed to astonish Naruto. “He was a _kid,_ Sasuke! He was raised horribly. If someone didn’t do something, he was going to keep hurting people, because he was hurting inside. He was messed up. Why would I wish that on him? Why would I wish that on any kid? If someone had given a rat’s ass before he fucked my friend up in a tournament, then maybe he wouldn’t have. My friend would have been better off. Gaara would have been better off.” Naruto took a deep breath. “I cared because I saw myself in him.”

 

Sasuke turned this over in his mind. It seemed to him that he had spent his life on the cusp of legalistic, heavily codified society on one hand and thoroughly amoral criminal life on the other. Sasuke had simplified the conflict by maintaining a small—very small—circle of intimates and swearing to protect those within that circle by any means necessary. Naruto’s circle was apparently much, much wider, and his code much more… he searched for the right word. Flexible? Complex?

 

“Listen here, bastard,” Naruto interrupted his thoughts gruffly, “give me your hand.” Sasuke allowed him to take his hand and entwine their fingers.

 

“I could tell when I met you that you have a pain deep inside of you. A pain like mine. Like Gaara’s. I saw myself in _you_. That’s why I sat closer to you at the bar. That’s why I wanted to keep talking to you. I don’t know what you’ve gone through in life, Sasuke, but I know you hurt deep inside.”

 

Sasuke looked away. He felt a lifetime of resolve beginning to chip and crack.

 

“People hurt,” he said simply. “It doesn’t excuse anything.”

 

“Who the hell is making excuses, Sasuke? I’m not. If you were still involved in that kind of crime, it’d be a different story. Why do you want so badly for me to believe you’re awful?” Naruto asked. “It’s like you’re upset with me because I’m not shocked or repulsed by your past.”

 

“I’m tired, Naruto,” Sasuke answered. “I don’t want to discuss philosophy or sociology with you. You have a right to know who you are involving yourself with.”

 

The edge in Sasuke’s voice did not deter Naruto. He stepped closer to Sasuke and wrapped his arms around him. “Thanks, Sasuke, but I’m good with the guy I’m involved with. He’s smart, and funny, and he’s honest. He’s hot as fuck, too, and he has been pretty damned awesome in bed so far, too.”

 

Sasuke gritted his teeth. “You really are annoyingly stubborn,” he said.

 

“It grows on ya after a while,” Naruto said with lopsided grin.

 

Sasuke laid his head on Naruto’s shoulder and breathed. He would like to live in Naruto’s world, where there were such things as forgiveness and comfort. He didn’t know the watchwords and customs in such a world.

 

“Sasuke, look at me, please,” Naruto whispered. He lifted Sasuke’s chin with his fingers.

 

Sasuke complied, but he didn’t open his arms or step closer to Naruto.

 

“I. Don’t. Care. About your past. I care about here and now. Here and now, I wanna know what makes you happy, and I wanna do everything I can to bring those things to you. I feel safe with you, Sasuke. I want you to feel safe with me.” Naruto finished by kissing Sasuke on the forehead.

 

He couldn’t argue against Naruto and his wishful logic anymore. He couldn’t argue with the instinctive response his body had to him, either. Whether he liked it or not, Naruto knew to make him react. He put his arms around him and kissed his cheek.

 

“I feel safe with you, dobe,” he muttered. “Could we please go to bed?”

 

“You can always take me to bed, Sasuke,” Naruto said lecherously. Sasuke laughed and pulled Naruto back to the bed and pulled the covers over them.

 

“Sasuke?”

 

“What, usuratonkachi?”

 

“Can I laugh, now, because we’ve had our first argument and I was completely naked for all of it?” Naruto asked childishly.

 

Sasuke huffed and punched his arm, but he smiled. Naruto pulled him close, Sasuke’s face to his chest, and although he had never thought this could be a comfortable way to sleep, he drifted off within moments.

 

 

* * *

 

Waking up with Naruto was an unexpected pleasure. They’d fought, but still, he was here. Here, beside Sasuke, drooling, mouth open, snoring slightly. Far too hot and far too close to Sasuke for comfort. Despite that, it _was_ a comfort, the same way that seeing the evidence of their lovemaking was a comfort. He hadn’t disappeared. He hadn’t been a figment of Sasuke’s imagination, or a particularly vivid dream.

He took advantage of Naruto being asleep to study him closely. In his sleep, he looked even more childlike. The bruises inflicted upon him by his ex-wife’s champion were fading. His eyelashes, dusted with gold like his hair, rested against his tan skin. His pink lips parted, his arm and leg thrown over Sasuke as if he were a giant teddy bear.

Sasuke explored his face with his fingertips. He ran them over his cheeks, and the strong line of his jaw. He traced the pouting lips, then Naruto’s slightly turned-up nose. Sasuke wished he could pull Naruto into a bubble where he could protect him from adversity and danger and make up for every horrible thing that life had so unjustly inflicted upon him.

He swallowed away the thought that he, himself would be the rot in the root in such a world. Of all things Naruto deserved to be protected from, he, Sasuke, probably ranked at the very top. Not that Naruto would admit it.

His breath caught uncomfortably. He kissed Naruto’s forehead, then his cheeks, then his soft lips. He wasn’t sure if he did so to reassure himself, or to borrow some of Naruto’s incorruptible optimism. Sasuke willed the sting in his eyes away and laid his head on Naruto’s shoulder, inhaling his scent.

Naruto stirred against him. “Sasuke…” he mumbled sleepily.

“Good morning, Naruto.” Sasuke allowed himself to keep breathing Naruto in.

Naruto embraced him fully and nuzzled into his hair. “Am I dreaming? Did I really sleep with Sasuke Uchiha and wake up beside him?”

Sasuke scoffed. “Dobe. Want me to pinch you so you can be sure?” He playfully pinched Naruto’s backside.

“Not a dream,” Naruto said with a throaty laugh. He kissed Sasuke’s head. “This is so wonderful, Sasuke. I like waking up like this.”

Sasuke said nothing. He kissed Naruto’s shoulder in agreement.

“I need to take a shower,” he muttered against Naruto’s skin.

Naruto sat up suddenly. “Can we take a shower together?”

Sasuke almost laughed at his excitement. “Yeah. Sure. I’m going to go get the water hot. Come along when you’re ready.” He stood and walked to the bathroom. Tendrils of steam were just beginning to rise from the tap when Naruto came in and slipped into the shower behind him.

Sasuke looked over Naruto. He was covered in Sasuke’s bite marks; the ones on his inner thighs were particularly pronounced. Sasuke winced. He hadn’t intended to inflict so much damage onto him.

“Sorry for the bites,” he muttered.

Naruto looked down and laughed. “Don’t be. I liked those bites. I’ll have a souvenir from the trip this way.”

Sasuke poured some shampoo into his palms. “A shot glass or a postcard probably wouldn’t hurt as much.”

Naruto’s laughter rumbled out of him as he swiped at the shampoo Sasuke had just poured. “Not as much fun getting those. I kinda like a little bit of pain if you’re the one causing it.”

The heat flooded Sasuke’s face.

“Let me wash your hair, Sasuke,” Naruto said. Sasuke leaned back and assented.

Naruto’s fingers on his scalp soothed his nerves. Sasuke closed his eyes in enjoyment. Naruto then began washing his back with slow, firm circular caresses. His hands were warm and slick, and it was easy to give himself over to being cared for.

He breathed in when Naruto pulled him back against him and began to wash his chest. He rested his head against Naruto’s shoulder, relaxing into the heat of his body. He watched the large, tan hands moving against the pale skin of his stomach, appreciating the contrast. Naruto apparently appreciated the contrast, as well; Sasuke could feel his penis springing to life against his ass as he made circles against Sasuke’s skin.

“You feel so good, Sasuke,” he whispered in his ear.

Sasuke stepped away and turned around, allowing the water to sluice over his body and rinse the soap away. “Your turn,” he said to a pouting Naruto. He turned Naruto around and pulled him back against him, then poured more shampoo into his hands.

He massaged Naruto’s scalp firmly, carefully working out the tangles in the wild, blond hair. Naruto groaned in appreciation as he continued until his hair was clean and his scalp muscles were relaxed. Sasuke poured body wash onto Naruto’s shoulder and worked it over his neck and back. Again, he massaged firmly and purposefully.

Naruto moaned and gasped as Sasuke skillfully massaged the tension out of his muscles, working his way down his back, then to his hips, which he grasped authoritatively. He took note of the strength rippling beneath Naruto’s supple skin. He sucked in a sharp breath when his hands moved over the muscular half-spheres of Naruto’s glutes. He kneaded the flesh with deliberate focus, pulling importunate whines out of Naruto’s throat.

He casually slipped his finger between Naruto’s natal cleft. Naruto gasped as Sasuke lightly passed his fingertip over his perineum and then briefly palmed his balls. Sasuke smiled at the reaction. He teasingly worked his hands back up around Naruto’s lower back before gripping his hips and massaging up his belly.

Sasuke noted, looking over Naruto’s shoulder, how his cocked twitched impatiently. He took his time, lathering Naruto’s stomach, then slowly massaging his chest. Naruto moaned as Sasuke carefully massaged around his nipples, taking his time to pull the tension out of his pecs. Sasuke then playfully pinched at Naruto’s nipples, eliciting a guttural vocalization from Naruto.

Exploiting his discovery, Sasuke palmed the pert, tightening nipples firmly before pulling at them ever so slightly. Naruto thoughtlessly thrust his ass backwards into Sasuke and arched his back.

Sasuke had not put his lips on Naruto since he’d slipped into the shower, but he now kissed his neck just beneath his ear, working his way down to the juncture of his shoulder. He sank his teeth into the sensitive flesh, sucking lightly. A high, garbled note emanated from Naruto, causing Sasuke to smile against his skin. He was a cartographer charting Naruto’s body and limning out the borders of his pleasure. He made note of every sound, every movement.

Naruto’s cock was now throbbing, the veins protruding and the head an intense shade of red. Sasuke hastily rinsed Naruto off before turning him around and dropping to his knees in front of him.

He slowly, reverently kissed behind Naruto’s knees. He trailed his tongue up to his left hip, allowing himself to feel all the contours of muscle and bone as he held his waist. He kissed just above the coarse, blond thatch of hair, touching the demon-seal with the tip of his tongue. This part of Naruto was precious to Sasuke. It made such a contrast with Naruto’s ebullient personality, testimony to his struggles made even more meaningful to him since learning its significance.

He swirled his tongue over the spiral, knowing Naruto loved it as much as he did. He teased his bellybutton gently then sucked at the skin around it. Naruto whined with need, his dick pulsing against Sasuke as he continued to kiss the testimony to Naruto’s dark days.

He reluctantly kissed away from the seal and made his way to Naruto’s right hip, nipping and sucking at the slightly fleshy area at the crest of the curve.

Naruto hissed when he breathed over his cock, and when Sasuke lightly touched it with just the tip of his tongue, he moaned Sasuke’s name. Sasuke brought his fingers to join his lips in their teasing, allowing them to barely skim over the silky skin of Naruto’s erection.

He knew Naruto was begging for the warmth of Sasuke’s mouth; while he, too was eager to take Naruto orally, he wanted to prolong the pleasure and map out more of his partner’s undiscovered weaknesses. He placed tortuously gentle kisses along Naruto’s sac, nuzzling at his balls before sucking them into his mouth.

“Aahng, Sas...” Naruto called out as his hips twisted.

Sasuke replaced his lips with his hands, palming Naruto’s balls as he licked at Naruto’s perineum. He recalled how he had responded when Sasuke had briefly touched him there with his fingers earlier. He experimented with soft, gentle licks, then with harder, more forceful pressure, and finally, suction. Naruto’s pelvis jerked when Sasuke flattened his tongue against the tender flesh and moved in firm circles.

Wrapping his hand around Naruto’s shaft, he pumped slowly as he continued to stimulate the sensitive flesh between his balls and his tight, pink hole.

Naruto moaned unabashedly as Sasuke assaulted this newly discovered erogenous zone, thrusting into his hand faster and faster. Sasuke matched his rhythm with both his tongue and his hand as the pre-come steadily drooled out of his slit.

When he knew that Naruto was nearing completion, his hand and mouth swapped places. He slurped at the head of Naruto’s leaking cock, then sucked the entire length into his mouth. All the while, his fingers delicately circled the taut, sensitized skin of Naruto’s taint.

With his free hand, he grabbed at Naruto’s ass, pushing him forcefully, telling him that he could thrust harder. Naruto responded enthusiastically, forcing his cock down Sasuke’s throat again and again. Sasuke’s eyes watered. He struggled to breathe through his nose as Naruto fucked his mouth, but he urged him on.

As Naruto’s thrusts became more and more manic, he could taste increasing amounts of the faintly saline pre-come. Tasting Naruto was a special reward, and Sasuke moaned in anticipation. Naruto came with an inarticulate stream of gibberish, shooting into the warmth of Sasuke’s mouth as Sasuke relished the tang of his lover’s orgasm.

Naruto shook as he recovered, leaning back against the tiles of the shower wall. Sasuke moved to turn off the shower; the water was now tepid. Naruto pulled him towards him. “What the hell… what did you just do to me, Sasuke?” he gasped.

He looked at Sasuke as if he had never seen anything more amazing. To Sasuke, though, nothing could compete with looking up at Naruto, with the water dripping off of him, his face thrown back as he emptied himself into Sasuke’s mouth.

He recalled listening to men talk about “getting head,” and how distasteful it had seemed to Sasuke—not because he was prudish, but because of the simplistic way they seemed to define the dynamics of it. As if the person performing the task was just a vessel to be demeaned, as if the one receiving were somehow in a position of power. This was one of the primary reasons he had never allowed Sakura to fellate him.

To Sasuke, having now experienced this with Naruto, it was an incredibly complex interaction. There was a sense of power in bringing Naruto to completion, and something endearingly intimate about the act. There was also a sense of surrender, which was welcome, too. It didn’t seem dirty, or selfish, or like an expedient substitute for penetration.

Naruto embraced him and kissed his face. “You look so beautiful when you do that, Sasuke,” he murmured. “Thank you so much. It felt so nice.”

Sasuke could have purred. Naruto’s praise seemed to trigger something inside of him that he didn’t fully understand. He was not addicted to recognition; in fact, he typically was happier without it. So why did Naruto’s compliments and praise feel so heady?

He forced himself not to think about it too much as he leaned against Naruto.

It wasn’t long before the heat of their encounter dissipated, leaving them cold and soaked. Sasuke grabbed two towels, wrapping one around himself like a sarong while using the other to pat Naruto dry.

“Hey, Sasuke, you’re spoiling me, stop,” Naruto said weakly.

“Shut up. You’ll catch cold.” Sasuke continued with his ministrations. He made sure that Naruto was thoroughly dry before wrapping the towel around him and getting out of the shower. He switched on the fan and ran a dry cloth over the fogged-up mirror.

As he prepared to brush his teeth, Naruto came to stand behind him. He wrapped his arms around Sasuke’s waist, and the two men looked at their reflection. Sasuke, if he were being honest, would have said that he loved the contrast the two made. Naruto’s tanned skin against his paler complexion always thrilled him, as did the gold strands against his own impossibly black hair.

“I didn’t do anything for you, Sasuke,” Naruto complained, pouting. Sasuke withheld his smile. This, too, he loved, these little pouts of Naruto’s.

“Dobe. Did you think I sucked you off out of the kindness of my heart?” he said with mock sternness.

Naruto’s face seemed to light up. “Do you really like doing that, Sasuke?”

Sasuke rolled his eyes, restraining himself from elbowing him. “Would I do it if I didn’t?” He didn’t tell Naruto that, while yes, he _loved_ "doing that," he had also wanted to give back to Naruto selflessly after picking a fight with him the night before.

Naruto grinned. “You’re the best.” He squeezed Sasuke, a bit tighter than was comfortable. “But I like doing things for you, too, ya know.”

“Yes, I do know. I also know that we agreed to meet your friends for brunch and that we have a checkout at 11. So move it along, Uzumaki.”

He didn’t withhold his smile this time as Naruto pouted and walked away grumbling about how Sasuke was a “bossy bastard.”

Naruto was pulling his jeans on when Sasuke came out of the bathroom. “I’ve made a mess of you,” he told the blond, gingerly touching a particularly angry-looking mark on his neck.

“You just decorated me a little bit.” Naruto winked at him. “I like it. Better than tattoos.”

Sasuke liked Naruto this way, shirtless, with his tattoos prominent and Sasuke’s mark all over him.

 

 

* * *

 

Gaara was civil, if distant, throughout brunch. When Naruto and Shiloh suggested a dip in the hotel’s rooftop pool, Sasuke reluctantly gave in.

When Naruto stripped to his swim trunks, though, with the evidence of Sasuke’s enthusiastic foreplay written so clearly over his skin, he regretted his acquiescence. Shiloh, as he might have expected, took great joy in pointing it out.

“Sasuke, you _animal!”_ he shouted gleefully. “It’s always the quiet ones, isn’t it, Gaara?”

Gaara’s embarrassed flush and obvious discomfort made Sasuke's humiliation worthwhile. Sasuke smirked and lowered himself into a lounge chair next to Gaara as Shiloh and Naruto did their best to reenact childhood by doing canon balls.

“Uchiha. _Sasuke...”_ Gaara began. His voice sounded strained.

Sasuke looked at him, raising one brow.

“Naruto seems… happy. With you. I apologize for my overprotective nature,” he continued.

Sasuke thought back to their conversation the night before, then to his argument with Naruto in their room.

“I have no intentions of hurting Naruto,” he said quietly. “If I were still… doing what I was doing… I wouldn’t be involved with him.”

“I don’t like you, Uchiha, any more than you like me. But I don’t really know you, either,” Gaara confessed. “I will no longer intrude upon your relationship, as long as I see that my best friend is happy.”

“Hn.” 

“ _I think you’ll really like my friend. Something about you reminds me of him.”_

 

 

* * *

 

Sasuke barely spoke during the ride home. Naruto chattered on and on about Shiloh, and about visiting New Orleans for Mardi Gras, and how long it had been since he had seen Gaara, and didn’t he look happy? Sasuke gladly allowed him to monopolize the conversation. His mind churned with questions and deferred concerns.

They stopped halfway home. Naruto wanted to take a picture of the Pacific and send it to his son. Sasuke thought of Sarada, realizing he hadn’t talked to her since yesterday, and took a picture to send to her. “Hey!” Naruto said, “Let’s take a selfie!”

He turned around with his back to the ocean and pulled Sasuke in beside him, wrapping his arm around him. “Smile, Sasuke!” He clicked a picture as Sasuke attempted to look happy.

As they walked back to the car, Naruto stopped and took his hand. “Is something wrong, Sasuke? Did I do something?” he asked, his eyes searching Sasuke’s face for answers.

“You did nothing wrong, Naruto,” he said. “I’m just tired.”

“Have we...” Naruto looked nervous and sad. “Have we… have we moved too fast?”

The question startled Sasuke. “Why would you ask that?”

“Because you got mad at me last night, and I was thinking that maybe I’d rushed you.”

Sasuke could see how much the admission had cost Naruto to make. He tapped him gently on the forehead with his first two fingers. “No, Naruto. I’m fine. Like I said, you did nothing wrong.”

Naruto looked down. “I just… I don’t… I don’t know how to do all the things I wanna do with you. Do you know what I mean, Sasuke?”

He looked at Sasuke expectantly. Sasuke looked him over, not fully comprehending the question at first. It finally dawned on him what Naruto was referring to.

“Idiot,” Sasuke said affectionately. “I don’t know anything more than you do. We can find out together, ok?”

This seemed to relieve Naruto. Another thought occurred to Sasuke.

“Have we moved too fast for you, Naruto?” he asked, as gently as he knew how.

“No!” Naruto quickly protested. “I have never felt anything like I feel with you, Sasuke. I just want to… I want to please you. You know?”

Sasuke laughed, feeling a rush of affection mixed with sadness. He hugged Naruto close to him, tighter than he had ever done. “You do,” he whispered into his ear. “In every way.”

Naruto looked up at him with so much happiness, so much joy, that Sasuke ached. He wanted, with everything inside of him, to make Naruto this happy for as long as he possibly could. The nagging thoughts, the memories, of what he had been and done rushed at him. He knew how many ways he could fail Naruto, hurt him, sadden him. He’d never wanted so badly to be someone else.

 

* * *

 

The air in the office chilled Sasuke. He remained still and composed, despite the shivers that ran up his body.

Kurenai quietly looked over her notes from their last session. “Sasuke, are you cold? Would you like a warm drink? I can have a coffee or tea brought to you,” she said without lifting her eyes.

“I’ll take a coffee,” Sasuke answered, happy to anticipate relief from the chill.

Kurenai phoned the secretary to ask for two coffees then looked up at him. “How have you been since we last met?”

“Fine.”

“Would you like to elaborate?” she prodded gently.

“I don’t feel like I’m about to have a psychotic breakdown, so I suppose that’s an improvement,” Sasuke said testily.

Kurenai smiled. “Yes, I suppose you’re right. Could you tell me how you are, beyond not feeling as if you’re having a psychotic breakdown?”

Sasuke was about to answer when the secretary knocked. Kurenai opened the door and took two coffee cups from her with a soft word of thanks.

“Your coffee. Do you need anything else for it?” she asked Sasuke, handing him a cup.

“Black is fine,” he said.

“The last time we talked, you said you’d met a man, and you weren’t pleased about how he made you feel,” Kurenai said. “Have you seen him since then?”

“Yes,” Sasuke said.

“And?”

“And, what?” Sasuke still felt raw from a weekend of emotional speed cycles, and he didn’t particularly care for psychotherapy on the best of days.

“You know what I mean, Sasuke,” Kurenai said patiently. “But I’ll ask. How did you meet again?”

“He came into my store.”

“Did you have a good conversation with him?” Kurenai smiled at him. She knew Sasuke well. He was a challenge she was up for, and Sasuke knew it. This irritated him even more.

“He wanted books for his son. I gave him books,” Sasuke said tersely.

“And that was it?” Kurenai pressed on. Sasuke scowled.

“He asked me out."

“Did you go?”

“Yes.”

“Have you talked to him since then?” Kurenai began to read her notes again, giving Sasuke some relief from her gaze.

“I went to the city with him over the weekend,” he muttered.

“Oh, really?” Kurenai said. She did not look up, but the note of surprise was evident in her voice. “This is new for you, Sasuke.”

“Hn.”

“Have you been intimate with him?” she continued casually.

“What? Why would you need to know that?” Sasuke asked, affronted.

“It’s a valid question. Intimacy has been an issue for you, Sasuke,” she said.

“It hasn’t been an issue for me,” he bit back.

“Ok, fair enough. It’s been an issue for others in your life. So, I’ll ask again, have you been intimate?”

“Yes,” he mumbled. He liked Kurenai, above all the psychiatric professionals who’d been forced upon him at different points in his life, but he didn’t feel as if this was an appropriate question, and he didn’t see the point of it.

“How do you feel about that?” she asked.

“I don’t know,” he answered. She looked up. He realized he had answered more honestly than he’d intended.

“Do you find it difficult or embarrassing to be intimate with him?”

Sasuke didn’t answer right away. He didn’t find it difficult when they were together. He didn’t find it difficult at all. He didn’t find it difficult enough.

“I’m not embarrassed. It’s not like he forces me,” he said at last.

“So you’re not embarrassed, you’re not feeling coerced. What, then, is difficult for you about being intimate with this man?” Kurenai amazed Sasuke, in some ways. She never failed to sound kind, or patient, or concerned. She was absolutely relentless, though, when she was on the trail of a point she found relevant.

“I don’t feel like myself when I’m with him,” he answered after a long pause.

“Like yourself? What does that mean?”

He looked straight ahead, over Kurenai’s head, and focused on the abstract painting behind her.

“I do things… I think things… that I don’t normally do or think. I can’t...” He struggled, trying to tease out what it was about being with Naruto that he found disorienting. “I want to be with him. All the time. I think about him… when I don’t want to.”

“Why don’t you want to think of him?” Kurenai asked, undeterred.

“Because I’m afraid,” he said before he could stop himself. He mentally cursed at having walked into this trap.

“Afraid of what?” Kurenai’s voice was softer than usual.

“I’m afraid that I’ll forget everything,” he replied.

“Everything, Sasuke? Like what?”

“Like… what I’m capable of. Who I am. What happens to people who care about me.”

Sasuke knew that the conversation was spiraling out of his control, and he knew he couldn’t stop it.

Kurenai stared at him again. “What are you capable of, Sasuke?”

“Why would you even ask me that, Kurenai? You have my files. All of my files, going back for years. You, of all people, do not have to ask what I’m capable of,” he said bitterly. He clenched his fists in his lap, eager to hit something.

“I have your files. I know what has happened in your past, and I know some of the things you did in your past. What does that have to do with this man and how you feel about him?”

Sasuke squinted, looking again at the abstract painting. “I don’t want to hurt him. I don’t want anyone else to hurt him.”

“How would you hurt him, Sasuke?” she pressed. Gentle as ever, intrusive as always.

He took in his surroundings—the impersonal décor, the mass-produced art, the plant in the corner. But in his mind, two faces swam in and out of focus.

One was as wide open as a summer sky, with wide blue eyes.

“ _I saw myself in you.”_

The other stared at him through his own dark eyes, _except these eyes were blind,_ blood pouring down his gaunt face after a coughing spell.

“ _Forgive me, Sasuke.”_

He had failed the latter. As much as he had loved him, adored him, wanted him…

“I’ll disappoint him,” he said hoarsely. “Just like I did Itachi.”

“Is this what this is about, Sasuke? Are you really afraid you’ll disappoint your friend, or are you afraid that being with him is somehow disloyal to Itachi?”

Kurenai’s question sank like a weight around his neck. It was a weight, and she was going to push him into shark-infested waters.

“I don’t… I don’t know,” he answered helplessly.

“Do you think Itachi would feel betrayed by you moving on with your life in this way? By you having a relationship with someone who cares about you?”

Other faces, now, appeared before him. His mother’s. His father’s. So stern… how had Sasuke never sensed the tension that underlay his father’s strict demeanor?

“Why?” he asked. “Why me? Why not Itachi? Why not my mother, my father, Shisui? Why me, and not them? Why do I get to be here, enjoying life, when they’re… they…” He couldn’t finish.

Kurenai sat quietly looking at him. To his relief, her eyes did not reflect pity.

“This is grief, Sasuke.” Her voice was gentle, but authoritative. “There’s a part of us that feels as if there’s some sort of economy to loss. And that we can bargain with it. As if there’s a finite amount of happiness and joy that can exist, and if you survive when your family didn’t, you’re somehow stealing their share.”

“That’s normal. That is a normal thought process for a grieving person. But...” she leaned forward and looked Sasuke deeply in the eyes… “You’ve never given yourself time to fully grieve, Sasuke. You seem to have a persistent belief that you must atone for being alive, and in doing, you haven’t given yourself an opportunity to work through this. You’ve come to a point where it has impacted your relationships, with your ex-wife, with your daughter, and now, with this new person you are involved with.”

She leaned back and took a breath. “Do you honestly think that your parents, or Itachi, or Shisui would object to you being happy?”

“They died. They all died. Because of me, Kurenai.” Sasuke whispered.

“No,” Kurenai corrected him. “They died because of things that had nothing to do with you. Itachi died of an incurable disease. Your parents died because of choices that had nothing to do with you. Shisui committed suicide. None of that had anything to do with you. But even if they did… let’s say someone had come to your family and said, “Your lives or Sasuke’s,” do you think they’d want you to live on in a constant state of atonement? Or do you think they’d want you to learn how to be happy?”

Sasuke couldn’t give voice to the thoughts that swirled in his mind. What Itachi had done, for him, for his foolish, foolish baby brother… the price he’d paid so that Sasuke could continue to grow and live, the years it had cost him from his own life…

“I don’t know,” Sasuke choked out.

Kurenai allowed him a space of silence to consider his thoughts.

“I want you to think of Sarada,” she said at last. “I want you to think of what you’d want for her if you were to die. You’ve said before that the work you did before you moved back to Konoha was for her, and I believe you. So, do you believe that she owes you for that sacrifice?”

“No,” he growled.

“If she did owe you, do you think she could repay you by living in a constant state of penitence?” Kurenai’s question struck him in an unguarded part of his heart. He recalled Naruto’s words from their argument.

“ _How would you feel if it were Sarada? If something horrible fucked up her life and she made some bad decisions in a few years?”_

“ _If it was Sarada, would you just give up on her? Tell her she just fucked up her life, oh well, and she’s just a horrible person who needs to be written off forever?”_

 

Sasuke let out a hoarse laugh. “That’s what that guy told me this weekend when I tried to tell him about the past.”

“Oh, really?” Kurenai asked, interested. “He asked you if you thought Sarada owed you?”

“No… but he brought her up. He asked me if I would just throw Sarada away if she had made some of the decisions I’d made when I was young.”

“Would you?” Kurenai asked.

In the chilly office, where Sasuke felt as if he was drowning amid circling sharks, he conceded the point that he’d refused to concede to Naruto in the privacy of their hotel room.

“No.”

He looked away from Kurenai. She sat, completely still, having extracted from him a tool he knew she’d bring back to use against his reasoning.

She took a sip of her coffee and jotted down something in her file. She looked up, slowly, and faced Sasuke once again.

“You wouldn’t wish these things on Sarada. So why do you inflict them upon yourself for your parents’ sake? For Itachi’s?” Her tone of voice had not changed, nor had the way she looked at him. Sasuke felt a change, however, a change of temperature or intensity.

“She isn’t me,” he answered at last.

“No, but she’s a child, just like you were, and one day, she’ll be an adult. Would you like for her to one day wonder if she’s allowed to have a boyfriend or girlfriend, because of all you gave up for her safety? You aren’t just raising a child, after all, you’re raising someone into adulthood.”

“Goddamn. No! I don’t want her to suffer. That’s all I can offer her as a father, Kurenai. I am not patient. I’m not easy to talk to. I’m not affectionate. But I do want her to be happy. Why would that even be a question?” he said indignantly.

“Why is it a question, Sasuke?” Kurenai said. “Why do you think?”

“I have no fucking idea,” Sasuke said resentfully.

“Why were you, as a child, somehow different from Sarada? Did you deserve less?”

_Yes. Always less. Less than Sarada, who didn’t ask to be born to a besotted mother and a clueless father. Less than Itachi, the longed-for prodigy, who sacrificed everything for me._

“Sasuke, did it occur to you, ever, that in withholding forgiveness and acceptance for yourself, that you’re withholding it from Sarada?” Kurenai asked again, unwilling to allow him to snake back into the umbrage of his darkened mind.

He looked up at her, confused. “How?”

“We learn to love ourselves, largely, due to others modeling healthy love to us,” Kurenai said. “When a parent praises a child, or gives them encouragement after a failure, these are skills the parent passes on to the child to use later in life. But you weren’t given that at crucial times in your life, Sasuke, and now, in your efforts to atone for surviving your family, you’ve kept Sarada at a distance.”

He thought of Sarada, crying in his car because she didn’t think he liked her.

“I don’t know how to get closer to her,” he said. “I’m afraid I’ll just hurt her.”

“You will hurt her,” Kurenai said. “Without a doubt. Just like you will hurt your new friend if you continue to go out. People in relationships hurt each other all the time. The gift is in how you recover and make amends after hurting someone. You can’t get close to anyone without eventually hurting them and getting hurt. But don’t you think it hurts Sarada now when she seeks out your love and doesn’t find it?”

Sasuke had never considered this before.

“Your friend… he wants to get to know you, too, Sasuke, so do you think it’s possible, in trying not to hurt him, that you may actually be pushing him away and hurting him more?” Kurenai continued to exploit her opening.

Sasuke couldn’t talk anymore. He felt wrung out. He knew he would not be opening Tomoe again today. His body was just as exhausted as his mind.

“Our time is almost up,” Kurenai said. “I want to tell you that I’m proud of you for exploring intimacy with another person. That is a very important step for you, and one I know hasn’t been easy. Give yourself a lot of credit for that. I have an assignment for you, and I want you to report back to me next month.”

“Whatever,” Sasuke breathed.

“Number one, I want you to make note—literal note, as in write down—all the things that are good about opening yourself up to this person. And to Sarada, as well. And number two, this is very important...”

She forced Sasuke to look up at her with a long pause. “Sasuke, love yourself. Find the little boy and the young man you used to be, and love them. See the good in them. Allow them to grow up and have close experiences with people who matter.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My first named chapter! I honestly hadn't expected this work to spread so far, and it's easier to remember a title than a number for me.
> 
> So, here is a little more about Sasuke's past. There's more to come. More about Itachi, as well. We also get a glimpse of Naruto's darker past, as well as some answers about his tattoos. 
> 
> This was a hard chapter to write. For anyone who's ever survived a trauma bond, or a catastrophic loss, then you know how devastating it can be, and how the shock waves can ripple for decades. So I may slip off and have a bit of sake after writing this, and I apologize for anyone who has found themselves triggered by this content. 
> 
> And... WOW. JUST, FREAKING, WOW. Over 200 kudos, and so many bookmarks, and so many amazing comments! Thank you ALL for reading, and for giving me feedback. I was happy to know that many of you appreciated Shiloh. I was also happy to see that a lot of you dealt with the (admittedly delicate) subject of incest in the warnings and in the story line, and were able to overcome your own reactions to see the points I was making about Sasuke's life. This will continue to be explored, but this is not a fic about incest--nothing will be described vividly, but the topic will come up again in later chapters. 
> 
> You have all been amazing. This fic means a lot to me, not just because it's writing, duh, and I care about the shit I write, but because, like many of you, I have very strong feelings about Sasuke and Naruto in canon, and I also have very strong feelings about Adverse Childhood Events (ACE) and mental health, and saying these things in this fic is important to me. 
> 
> As always--please let me know if something leaves you going "WTF?" or if you like/dislike/hate/love something. I love to talk to people about Naruto and I would love to hear your thoughts. <3 <3 <3, Shira


	17. Whiplash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dobe--dead last--in sex ed, that is how Sasuke makes Naruto feel. A trip to the bookstore should remedy that, right?

Naruto fidgeted as he walked through the bookstore. He felt as if his mission were glaringly obvious to everyone who saw him, but he proceeded, undeterred. His last encounter with Sasuke had left what he perceived to be a distinct imbalance in their intimate relationship, and he could not allow this to go unaddressed.

 

The orgasm Sasuke had given him was unlike any he’d ever experienced, and he had to figure out not only how to reciprocate, but how to outshine.

 

_True bravery in action. You’re going to figure out the mechanics of gay sex, Barnes and Nobles customers be damned! You’re a real hero, kid._

 

He’d walked through the sexuality subsection of the self-help department here before, but actually needing information made it feel very different from simply browsing curiously. To the far right, occupying perhaps two linear feet of a 15-foot section of shelving, a handful of books under the heading of “LGBTQ Interests” offered what he supposed he looked for.

 

Naruto picked up one book; _The Whole Lesbian._ Not exactly what he needed. It seemed as if lesbian interests were arranged to the left, gay male topics to the right. _Do It Like a Porn Star!_ No, thank you, he thought, he’d build up to that. Maybe later.

 

_The Gayma Sutra._ That one sounded vaguely promising, if not acrobatic.

 

_The Doctor-Approved Guide to Gay Sex._ That one, he supposed, sounded authoritative. He flipped through the pages, past diagrams of the male pelvis.

 

_Diet? Are you serious, kid? There’s a gay_ diet _? And enemas? Hella sexy. Real spontaneous. Oh, ah, yes, just like that, no, wait, I haven’t flushed out my colon yet. Please, dear, not tonight, I haven’t eaten enough broccoli. Or is it too much broccoli?_

 

Naruto began to sweat. He’d had no idea how many considerations there were to make. There seemed to be an exceptional amount of _vocabulary._

 

_Tops, and bottoms, and bears, oh my._

 

He hadn’t considered whether he’d be a top or a bottom; couldn’t he be either? When his mind had wondered to fantasies of penetrative sex, he had always imagined taking turns with Sasuke. Truthfully, topping and bottoming each intimidated him for different reasons. He was somewhat scared of being penetrated; he’d only had a doctor’s thumb _in there,_ and it hadn’t been pleasant. How would it feel to have Sasuke’s entire penis inside? He was not exactly _small._

 

Topping was even more nerve-wracking to consider, though. He imagined the potential for discomfort and pain with anal sex, and he didn’t want to inflict anything that was even distantly uncomfortable upon Sasuke.

 

 

The more information he absorbed, the more he felt like a fish out of water. A very dumb, very clueless fish. How was he supposed to connect to his own “soul,” much less Sasuke’s, every time? And if he didn’t, did that mean he was objectifying Sasuke?

 

 

He wondered if he had ever done sex right in the first place, and if his apparent ignorance were remediable. He felt a sudden urge to call Hinata and apologize for 12 years of uninspiring, nonspiritual sex.

 

A familiar giggle interrupted his reading. In his peripheral vision, two teenage girls stood shoulder to shoulder in the aisle, reading a book that had apparently either titillated or scandalized them—perhaps both. Suddenly conscious of being seen, the girl holding the book raised her head.

 

“Mr. Uzumaki!” she squealed, whether in shock over being caught looking at sex manuals by her principal or having caught her principal perusing sex manuals.

 

Naruto hastily shoved the book he was reading behind his back.

 

“Kumi! Miko! Nice to see you ladies. Uh, how is summer going?” he said awkwardly.

 

“Fine,” Miko murmured. Kumi giggled and looked down.

 

_Be sure to congratulate them on reading over the summer._

 

“That’s great. Just great. Uh, have a good one, see you in September!” Naruto babbled, taking a few steps backwards before darting away.

 

As he fled, he heard Kumi shriek. “Oh my _god!_ What was Mr. Uzumaki doing _here?”_

 

He dropped the intimidating book he was holding at a random table and quickly exited the bookstore.

 

_Aborting the mission so early in the game? Hahahaha. Scaredy cat._

 

At home, he browsed online. As it had been when he had searched for advice about first dates, the information was contradictory and confusing. He had never known there were so many different types of lube, or so many types of condoms. On a whim, he purchased and downloaded _The Joy of Gay Sex._ He discovered that he liked the no-nonsense information, as well as the alphabetized table of contents, and he vowed to look to the wild, crazy world of Google for information no longer. It made him feel much less alone in his ignorance to know that others had needed an encyclopedic reference.

 

_It’s not like they taught you any of this in what passed for sex-ed, kid, give yourself a break._

 

He acknowledged this fact. Everything in the sex-ed module of his health class had been incredibly cursory, and incredibly hetero-centric, focused upon prevention of pregnancy and disease. Even that information, he supposed, had been incomplete. Kids had learned, for example, how to roll a condom onto a stationary, somewhat phallic object. Never once, though, had there been any discussion about protecting oneself from disease via cunnilingus; did lesbians not have to worry about STIs?

 

He was now not only doubting his abilities as a sex partner, but as an educator, as well. How could he be graduating kids into the world who didn’t know the basics about their anatomy or how to protect themselves, regardless of their orientation?

 

As he considered all of this, it struck him that _The Joy of Gay Sex_ was an extraordinary point of reference for people like him. Despite Konoha’s more retrogressive peculiarities in regards to human sexuality, he thought of how much worse things had been for kids even one generation prior to his own. He shuddered at how casually homophobia wound through society, and how dangerous it could be for kids who were not straight and cis-gendered. Yet the authors of this book had been providing important advice and information to gay men for decades, information young men would not have found in their school books or at home.

 

He thought about reading through the book with Sasuke. How exciting could it be, reading about sex acts together and deciding what they were both comfortable with? All he’d wanted to know was how to please Sasuke and avoid hurting him, to begin with.

 

_You can’t exactly Google that._

 

Naruto laughed at the thought. He jokingly typed, “How to please Sasuke Uchiha in bed” into the Google search bar.

 

The first search results froze him where he sat.

 

 

_Konoha Chief of Police, Wife Killed in Explosion_

 

He clicked on the headline, a heavy weight in his gut.

 

_Konoha Chief of Police, Fugaku Uchiha, 39, and his wife, Mikoto, 38, were killed in an explosion in their home on Leaf Street in the early morning hours of October 9. The cause of the explosion is not currently known, although it is being investigated as a crime. The couple’s 8-year-old son, Sasuke Uchiha, was not home at the time of the blast. Fourteen-year-old Itachi Uchiha, the couple’s elder son, is missing and presumed endangered._

 

Tears welled up in Naruto’s eyes. He tried to imagine Sasuke at age eight, trying to cope with the deaths of his parents and the disappearance of the brother he loved so much. There were other headlines about Sasuke; reading them felt dirty and unkind. Sasuke had trusted him with some of the most damning aspects of his past. He would not betray that trust by sinking to online investigation. When Sasuke trusted him more, he would tell him what he wanted him to know.

 

On impulse, he grabbed his phone and tapped out a quick message to the object of his thoughts.

 

_Hey, bastard. Thinking of you. <3_

 

He knew Sasuke wouldn’t respond right away; he never did. Naruto suspected that it was because he wanted to let him know that he would communicate in his own time, not at Naruto’s bidding like a trained pet. Naruto thought this was particularly adorable, for all that it frustrated him. Sasuke had a balance that he maintained between surrendering to Naruto and taunting him, and Naruto wouldn’t have had it any other way. In contrast to Hinata’s reliably constant passivity, which had frequently led to Naruto heedlessly hurting her feelings, Sasuke kept Naruto on his toes.

 

 

Naruto knew this delicate balance that Sasuke maintained with him had changed him. Other than his children, he had never felt quite so protective of another person. His general mindlessness had transformed into a growing awareness of Sasuke’s complexities, of his vulnerabilities and his strengths, and a respect for each. Increasingly, he was aware that the threats that stimulated his protective instincts the most were inside of Sasuke’s own mind.

 

It didn’t matter to Naruto what Sasuke had done to survive a ruthless, deadly world as a youth. It didn’t matter to him that his other dealings prior to coming back to Konoha were probably just as ruthless. He saw and respected the strength in Sasuke, but it in no way diminished his desire to find and protect the lonely, hurting child within him.

 

More and more, he wanted to create a space where Sasuke felt free and comfortable—a space where he could feel _treasured._

 

Naruto put his head in his hands. The emotions that Sasuke elicited from him were intense and sometimes overwhelming. He fought the urge to spoil and coddle Sasuke like a small child. He wanted to surround him with affection, hold him close, tease his deepest desires out of him and fulfill them. If their trip had been any indication, sexual encounters were the only framework in which Sasuke would allow him to fulfill such urges—at least for now.

 

Hence Naruto’s trawling Barnes and Noble, Amazon, and Google for information. He didn’t just want to make Sasuke feel good, he wanted to inflict pleasure upon him until he couldn’t deny himself anything. He wanted Sasuke to feel safe enough with him to let go of all his inhibitions and express himself freely.

_You also don't want him to one-up you._

Naruto squirmed a little.  That, too, figured into it all.

 

His phone buzzed. He grabbed at it quickly, hoping Sasuke had perhaps deigned to contact him right away, after all.

 

_Hey, hey! How’s everybody’s favorite principal? Lunch tomorrow?_

 

Disappointed, he tapped out a quick affirmative text to Sakura and lost himself in his thoughts of Sasuke again. In his mind, he turned over their conversations from over the weekend. It hurt him that he obviously thought that his past would color Naruto’s opinion of him. It hurt him more that Sasuke felt so alone and unworthy. He was at a loss for how to impress upon him how much he genuinely cared for him.

 

The buzz of his phone interrupted his thoughts. His heart sped up when he recognized Sasuke’s number.

 

_Come over._

 

Naruto’s hands shook as he read Sasuke’s text.

 

_When?_ He typed. The answer came almost immediately.

 

_Now._

 

_Everything OK?_

 

_It will be if you’ll just get over here._

 

Naruto swallowed hard.

 

_You_ did _tell him that wanting kisses was a perfectly legitimate reason to call._

 

Yes. Yes, he had. He grinned as he sped off, mindless of everything else in the world.

 

 

He sprinted up the steps to Sasuke’s apartment and knocked. He lost his breath when Sasuke opened the door, with his dark blue shirt unbuttoned to his chest, his eyes gleaming and a flush over his high cheekbones.

 

Naruto’s greeting was swallowed by a forceful kiss. Sasuke grabbed him by the shoulders and sucked at his lips, forcing him to open his mouth and accept the intrusion of his tongue as he pulled him into the apartment.

 

Naruto’s senses were inundated by Sasuke. The scent of his soap mingled with undertones of his own, personal musk; The taste of mint as well as the clean, pure taste specific to Sasuke; the heat of his body radiating into Naruto.

 

Sasuke’s aggression only intensified as the door closed behind them. His kisses became almost painful, sharp bites soothed over by gentle pecks and licks. He tore at Naruto’s clothes, divesting him of his shirt as Naruto struggled to keep up with him.

 

Sasuke pulled away from their kiss with a sharp slurp, transferring his attention to Naruto’s neck. He bit and sucked down his throat, pausing to gently salve the abused skin with his tongue.

 

Naruto’s libido surged under Sasuke’s attention. He had never imagined himself as an aggressive lover, but as Sasuke’s hands and lips and teeth sought his flesh, he responded with primal intensity. His hands roamed over Sasuke’s back, coming to rest on his firm ass. Without thinking, Naruto gripped him tightly and lifted him up.

 

Sasuke wrapped his legs around Naruto’s waist, bringing their throbbing cocks in line with each other. Naruto hungrily sucked at Sasuke’s tongue as he pushed him against the wall, and they frotted against each other impatiently. Naruto moaned as Sasuke’s hands tugged sharply at his hair.

 

Hefting Sasuke up, Naruto walked the two of them to the bedroom. He threw him onto the bed on his back. Sasuke lay and looked at him through lust-clouded eyes, his breath ragged. Staring down at him, Naruto was filled with a need to possess him completely.

 

Naruto worked at the buttons on Sasuke’s shirt. “Take it off,” he ordered. “Take it all off.”

 

Desire flared in Sasuke’s eyes as he obeyed. Naruto slid his own pants and boxers off and stroked himself as he watched Sasuke strip for him.

 

When Sasuke had peeled the last of his clothes away, he lay back expectantly. Naruto’s eyes roved over his face, taking in the chiseled features and the kiss-swollen lips. His breath hitched at the sight of Sasuke’s muscular body laid out, just for him. His inky hair splayed out on the pillow, erotically disarrayed, his eyes glazed with arousal. His gaze traveled possessively over the broad shoulders, the well-defined pecs, the dusky, perfectly-formed nipples standing out against the alabaster skin, the ripple of his abs, the taper of his waist…

 

His erect cock, pink and dripping deliciously.

 

“So fucking gorgeous,” he said huskily. He laughed throatily at the gasp Sasuke made in response to his praise. He spread the dark-haired man’s legs and lay against him.

 

They both moaned as their hard, dripping cocks came into contact.

 

He caught Sasuke’s lower lip between his, biting and sucking as Sasuke writhed beneath him. He then placed wet kisses along his jaw; Sasuke moaned as he nuzzled against his ear. “You’re the most perfect thing I’ve ever seen,” he whispered, then gently sucked and bit at his earlobe.

 

Sasuke, inflamed by Naruto’s words, strained against him, demanding more. Naruto felt as if a demon had possessed him, urging him to take control of Sasuke and bend him to his desires. The man’s wanton response to Naruto’s presence, his pleasure at Naruto’s praise, stoked up an unfamiliar need within Naruto to dominate, to shelter, to worship.

 

He raked his fingernails along Sasuke’s arms as he bit at the ivory skin of Sasuke’s neck. He then wrapped his fingers around Sasuke’s wrists and sucked at the hollow of his throat. When he pinned his wrists above his head, Sasuke gasped and ground against him. Naruto chuckled and pulled back to drink in the sight of his eager lover spread at his mercy.

 

“Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?” Naruto whispered.

 

Sasuke’s eyes closed and he lifted his hips, grinding his cock against Naruto’s. Naruto pressed harder against his wrists, but brought one hand down to explore Sasuke’s chest. He loved the way his nipples crowned the well-defined pecs, perfectly round and compact, dark against the pallor of his skin. He traced the perimeter of his areola with the tip his tongue, beguiled by Sasuke’s moans of pleasure. He then swept his tongue across the entire nub.

 

The sensitive flesh hardened beneath his tongue, and Sasuke gasped. Naruto closed his lips around the responsive little nub and suckled greedily as his length pressed against Sasuke’s. He had always been careful with Sasuke, fearful of causing him pain or discomfort. But he gripped the aroused bud between his teeth and bit somewhat sharply, tugging at the same time.

 

 

“Aahhh!” Sasuke cried out. Despite his wrists being restrained, he twisted wildly beneath Naruto and came up off the bed.

 

Naruto grinned. A wave of predatory satisfaction coursed through him as Sasuke reacted. He released the dusky nipple from his mouth in order to worship its twin. To his great delight, Sasuke cried out even more as he suckled. Sasuke’s nipples felt amazing against his tongue, between his teeth. He could have teased him endlessly this way.

 

Nevertheless, he pulled away, nipping at the skin down Sasuke’s torso. He nuzzled into the taut flesh over his hipbone before sucking and biting and kissing.

As he buried his face between Sasuke’s thighs, he inhaled deeply, amazed at how intensely Sasuke’s scent aroused him. Distinctly masculine, the tang of arousal blending with Sasuke’s usual scent, it went straight to Naruto’s cock. He greedily sucked at the head of Sasuke’s dick, slurping up the pre-come that drizzled steadily. Sasuke groaned and wriggled in response. Naruto released the organ from his lips to lick up and down the length. He savored the texture, like silk over steel, as he sucked the underside from base to tip. He swirled his tongue around the frenulum, then sucked the head back in teasingly.

 

Sasuke pulled at his hair as he bobbed his head, taking more of the cock he adored into his mouth with each downward movement. An involuntary thrust of Sasuke’s hips catalyzed his gag reflex, but Naruto relaxed his throat and swallowed, taking the hard length as far down his throat as he could.

 

His fingers dug into the flesh and muscle of Sasuke’s ass as he moved his head, focusing on taking the entirety of his length down his throat with each thrust. He punctuated each recoil of Sasuke’s hips with a suck and a swirl of his tongue.

 

Recalling the mind-bending orgasm Sasuke had given him over the weekend, he sucked one finger into his mouth alongside Sasuke’s cock. He trailed it over the seam of his ball sac, then along the taut, sensitive skin of his perineum, searching for the place that Sasuke had so deftly exploited for him. Sasuke cursed softly and bucked his hips harder, choking Naruto but also making him chuckle triumphantly.

 

He concentrated his attentions on delicately touching Sasuke as he slurped at the head of his cock, moving his fingers in spirals until he found the one spot that made Sasuke moan. He then relaxed his throat and swallowed, taking Sasuke’s cock deeper than he had ever done, while pressing gently against the bundle of nerves he had just found.

 

The reaction was instantaneous. Sasuke shuddered violently. He cried out inarticulately and thrust wildly, causing Naruto’s eyes to water as he drooled around Sasuke’s cock. The response caused his own dick to throb with want; he ground against the sheets unconsciously as he continued to stimulate Sasuke.

 

Sasuke’s fingers bent into fists in Naruto’s hair. Naruto sucked hungrily, struggling to keep pace with Sasuke’s pistoning hips. He intensified the pressure on Sasuke’s flesh with his fingertips, using his thumb to stroke the seam of his balls.

 

“Anhhhh. Nhh, Na… Fuck!” Sasuke literally screamed as he came. The downstairs neighbors apparently did not particularly care for the noise; they banged against the floor angrily.

 

Naruto drank him down, smirking a bit at his accomplishment. Sasuke shuddered, spread boneless across the bed, a film of sweat covering him and plastering his bangs to his face as he struggled to regain his breath.

 

“Come here,” he ordered huskily. Naruto grinned and complied.

 

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, Naruto?” he chided sleepily.

 

Naruto startled. “Hm? What? What did I do wrong?”

 

“I called you over so I could make you come, not so you could blow me into oblivion,” Sasuke mumbled irritably.

 

Naruto laughed. “Then I guess you should have specified in your text?”

 

Sasuke elbowed him, but there was no force behind it. “Why do you always do this?”

 

Naruto was genuinely perplexed. “Do what? You said, ‘come over.’ I asked when, and you said, ‘now.’ So I came prepared to please.”

 

“Pleasing you pleases me,” Sasuke said petulantly. He opened his eyes and turned his head towards Naruto, attempting to glare at him, but it was completely undercut by his tone of voice and by the haze of satisfaction that still surrounded him.

 

“Hey, to the victor, the spoils,” Naruto pronounced, laughing at Sasuke’s irritation. “I’m gonna try and please you first each and every time, so you had better be prepared to beat my ass if you don’t want me throwing you down and blowing your mind.”

 

“I could,” Sasuke snipped.

 

“Could what?”

 

“Beat your ass.”

 

Naruto laughed. “I have no doubt. But you weren’t fighting it, princess, so you’d better represent next time or it’ll happen again.”

 

Sasuke slapped him, hard, on the arm.

 

“Ow! That wasn’t nice!”

 

“Don’t call me princess,” Sasuke said sharply.

 

“OK, fine. You’re a queen. Is that better? Did you think I’d demoted or dethroned you or something?” Naruto teased. “Please forgive me, Queen Sasuke, _Your Majesty.”_

 

Sasuke hit him again, with more force this time. “Quit, Naruto,” he warned. Clearly, the euphoria was wearing off. Naruto was still amused at himself, though, and he had no intention of quitting.

 

“Maybe you prefer a more informal title. How about ‘Queenie?’” He punctuated his verbal jab with a feathery graze of Sasuke’s inner thigh, a spot Naruto knew to be slightly ticklish.

 

“That’s it. I warned you, idiot,” Sasuke growled. Before Naruto could say anything else, Sasuke had grabbed his wrists and immobilized his arms.

 

Naruto’s face heated as he realized just how strong Sasuke was; he was certain that he was not using his full strength to pin him. He grinned, hooking one leg behind Sasuke’s knees and using them to pull him close.

 

Sasuke’s eyes went round, clearly not expecting Naruto to possess so much lower body strength or to use it against him. He smirked as Naruto wrapped both legs around him, forcing Sasuke to lie almost completely flush against him.

 

The two men stared at each other, grinning and wordlessly goading each other in some kind of adolescent test of fortitude. Just as Naruto wriggled against Sasuke, bringing their pelves together enticingly, Sasuke apparently decided that he would show Naruto that he didn’t need to release his arms or his legs to throw him around. Engaging his core muscles and using one hip for leverage (causing Naruto to emit a painful shriek), he rolled the two of them over so that Naruto was now on top of him. Sasuke, of course, still held his wrists.

 

For Naruto, nothing had ever been so exciting and ridiculous and erotic all at once—which said quite a lot, he was aware. He found himself rolling about with Sasuke on the bed, grappling for dominance as if they were scrapping on a school ground.

 

“Ya know, you don’t have to throw me around to make your point,” he gasped. Sasuke’s forearm rested against Naruto’s neck; he didn’t lean into it, but Naruto could feel the strength radiating off of him.

 

“Tch.” Sasuke stared down at him, his little phantom-smile replaced with a full, slightly evil grin. Naruto resolved then and there to force Sasuke to make this face more often; it was causing his dick to spring uncomfortably to life.

 

Naruto grinned back, just as evilly, his inner Kurama cackling maniacally as he pinched Sasuke’s bicep hard.

 

Sasuke grunted and released his throat. Seizing his opportunity, Naruto knocked him off and rolled him onto his back.

 

“Impressive, Queen Uchiha,” he said, laughing, as he stared down into Sasuke’s eyes. He lowered his face and kissed the parted lips gently.

 

Sasuke kicked him in the lower back with his heel.

 

“Ow, goddamn, OK, I won’t call you ‘Queen Uchiha’ anymore!” he conceded.

 

“Nor ‘queenie,’” Sasuke specified, pinching his underarm.

 

“OK! OK! I won’t call you ‘queenie,’ either!” Naruto groaned.

 

“Nor ‘Queen Sasuke.’” Sasuke slapped his ass.

 

“I’ll call you ‘Queen Sasuke’ all damn day if you do that,” Naruto warned. Sasuke grinned again, and as much as Naruto liked seeing him smile, he couldn’t deny that the expression gave him shivers.

 

Sasuke brought his hand down sharply on Naruto’s ass. “Ouch! That actually hurt, bastard!” he cried out histrionically. It had certainly stung; but it had been surprisingly… _exciting_ too.

 

Sasuke just chuckled as Naruto sat up and pulled him face down over his legs.

 

“How would you like it if I spanked you, Sasuke?” he demanded. He wasn’t serious, any more than he had been about the pain from Sasuke’s last swat.

 

Sasuke, though, was suddenly very still beneath him.

 

Naruto ran his hands appreciatively over Sasuke’s firm, round bottom. He playfully swatted one cheek, then the other, watching as the skin reddened slightly beneath his palms. He was not prepared to feel Sasuke’s penis spring to life against his thigh.

 

“Sasuke...” he murmured, surprised. “Did you… did you _like_ that?”

 

Sasuke mumbled something inarticulate; probably “idiot” or “moron,” or some similarly _loving_ epithet. Naruto noticed that his cheeks were red and felt a stab of shame.

 

“It’s OK, Sasuke, I just never… I never spanked someone before,” Naruto apologized.

 

Sasuke growled and tensed up. Before Naruto knew what was happening, Sasuke had raised himself up onto his knees and pushed Naruto backwards onto the mattress. “You are such a moron,” he said.

 

For the first time since they’d known each other, the epithet stung. Naruto looked into Sasuke’s eyes, though, and realized that he felt just as awkward and self-conscious as he, himself did. It was Sasuke, now, who commandeered Naruto’s lips, teasing them with his tongue until they opened for him.

 

Naruto wrapped his arms around Sasuke affectionately as he responded to the kiss. He closed his eyes tightly and silently wished for him and Sasuke to have years together to map out these new territories they’d stumbled into together.

 

Long before Naruto was ready to let him go, Sasuke withdrew from their kiss. He smiled gently—just ever so slightly more pronouncedly than usual—as he looked down at Naruto.

 

“You have a wonderful body, Naruto,” he said quietly.

 

Naruto nearly gaped. He knew Sasuke appreciated his form. He had not doubted his attraction for a while; still, to hear Sasuke actually vocalize such sentiments was extraordinary. He blushed as Sasuke looked him over.

 

“Your face is beautiful, too,” Sasuke murmured. He caressed Naruto’s cheek gently with his fingers. “Your eyes, especially.”

 

Naruto blinked. He rarely nursed insecurities about his looks. He was not unaware of the appreciative glances that people occasionally gave him. He had known, during his marriage, that Hinata had found him attractive. No one, though, had ever said any of these things to his face. He felt the corners of his eyes prickle.

 

Sasuke gently kissed his jaw, then his cheekbones, then his forehead. Naruto sensed a chasm opening up within him, a chasm he hadn’t even known was there. He didn’t feel like a grown man anymore. He felt, instead, like a 12-year-old foster kid who’d just found out that he was more than dirt on the shoes of society.

 

He struggled to breathe as Sasuke continued to anoint him with sweet, soft kisses, at his earlobe, over his neck, over his chest. His breath caught as Sasuke tenderly sucked his nipple, so softly and reverently and in such contrast to the feverish groping that usually characterized their intimacy.

 

He gulped as Sasuke’s fingers ghosted along his sides, his mouth still worshiping Naruto’s nipples. When Sasuke reached the tattoo on his stomach, though, he thought he would weep in earnest.

 

He had known Sasuke was fascinated with the tattoo from their first private moments together; he’d been drawn to it that sweet, frustrating day at the creek. He had never failed to kiss and tease the inked flesh. This time, though, he was so ginger and… Naruto cringed as the word floated through his mind… _loving_ that it made him ache. It was no longer an erotic design, a curiosity; Sasuke knew the meaning of it, now, and he venerated it softly with his lips and tongue.

 

Naruto had achieved the majority of his life goals. He had the job he’d always wanted. He had the respect of his community, and he had friends. He had begun a family. Yet as Sasuke kissed his belly, he realized that he had never fully felt as if he belonged at that job, or in that community, or at the head of that family. Deep down, he still recognized himself, not as an accomplished man, but as a demonic child whose anger was only exceeded by his loneliness.

 

He felt that Sasuke was telling him that he was not alone. They had recognized each other’s pain. They could be lost children together. They could be clumsy, hurt, angry, and outside of it all together _._

 

_Is this what it feels like to belong?_

 

His inner demon was even confused and disarmed.

 

Sasuke did not bite or mark him as he kissed his inner thighs; his fingers and lips were as tender and worshipful as they had been. Sasuke gently spread his legs apart and nuzzled into the juncture of his thighs. He kissed the tip of Naruto’s cock, then placed wet, open-mouthed kisses on the underside, giving particular attention to his frenulum.

 

It was jarring, the switch from carnal insistence, to playful roughness, to gentle reverence. Naruto’s mind swam amid the contradictions. He was completely at Sasuke’s mercy.

 

He moaned as Sasuke took him into his mouth and sucked him rhythmically. His mind continued to drift in the oceanic trench that had opened up in his emotions as his body responded to the pleasure that Sasuke was giving him.

 

Sasuke grasped the base of his cock and stroked firmly as he sucked, sending Naruto’s eyes rolling upwards. He continued stroking as he released the tip of his cock from his lips. He licked and sucked Naruto’s balls, then pried at his perineum with his tongue. Naruto felt the familiar pleasure as Sasuke made circles over the tight skin while maintaining the rhythm of his hand.

 

Sasuke’s other hand caressed his ass softly, dipping between his cheeks and pausing at Naruto’s entrance. Naruto hissed; it was still new to be touched there. As Sasuke circled the puckered skin delicately with his fingertip, though, the novelty morphed into pleasure.

 

He cried out in shock when he felt the moisture of Sasuke’s tongue there. “Sasuke… no… don’t,” he pleaded. “You don’t have to...”

 

“Shut up, idiot. I know I don’t have to.” Sasuke’s characteristic roughness reassured him.

 

He cried out again when he felt the tip of Sasuke’s tongue probing at the tight outer ring of muscle. He had never, not even once, stimulated himself anally, nor had anyone else. He was not prepared for the cacophony of sensations, from mild discomfort to powerful pleasure, that Sasuke’s tongue was conducting on his most sensitive and sacrosanct flesh.

 

Sasuke licked and sucked around the outer rim as Naruto’s body shook from the stimulation. He soon felt the gentle probing of his tongue once again, and spread his legs wider. Sasuke thrust his tongue inside of him.

 

“Gannnnhh, S’ke,” Naruto cried. This was an entirely new sort of rapture for him. Sasuke expertly stroked him as he ate him out. He alternated between circular motions, sharp thrusts, and up-and-down licks.

 

Soon, the pressure of impending orgasm built within his testicles.

 

“I’m… S’ke…” he groaned. Sasuke stroked him faster, still plunging his tongue into him over and over again.

 

He came with a long, guttural groan; his field of vision was completely black as his seed erupted forcefully over his stomach and Sasuke’s hand. Sasuke’s caresses  slowed, but he continued to milk him until he was completely drained.

 

Naruto could not move. Once again, Sasuke had outdone him, he distantly thought. He was only somewhat aware of Sasuke standing and walking out of the room. His vision had just begun to clear when he returned with a warm cloth and a glass of water.

 

“You thirsty?” Sasuke asked, his rich, deep voice rolling over Naruto’s sated nerve endings like a velvet blanket.

 

“Mhm,” he responded, still not completely in control of his speech or his limbs. Sasuke raised the glass to his lips as he sat up. He hadn’t realized how thirsty he was.

 

Sasuke cleaned him carefully with the cloth as he guzzled the water; his movements were as tender as they had been when he’d made love to him with his hands and mouth. He kissed Naruto’s forehead, then his cheeks. Naruto craned his head to catch his lips. Sasuke evaded his kiss.

 

“I rinsed out my mouth, but...” Sasuke said.

 

Naruto ignored the protest and brought his lips against Sasuke’s.

 

Sasuke lay beside him and stroked his back. As he felt his mind come back into union with his body, the bizarre chasm began to open again. He clung to Sasuke, and Sasuke to him, as the last light of the day faded from the room.

 

“You outdid me again,” he half-whispered against Sasuke’s shoulder.

 

Sasuke chuckled and hugged him closer. “It’s not a competition, moron,” he said softly.

 

“I know… but… how am I ever going to make you feel as amazing as I feel when you make me feel so amazing...” Naruto knew his words made no sense. Sasuke’s laughter rumbled against his skin.

 

“You made me feel so amazing I forgot my objective,” Sasuke answered.

 

“Objective?”

 

“To lure you over here and completely destroy your mind with my oral skills.”

 

It was Naruto, now, who laughed. “Your objective was achieved. Obviously. I kinda feel drunk.”

 

Sasuke chuckled again and pinched him—a habit that, oddly enough, Naruto found endearing and reassuring. “You aren’t going to dance, are you?”

 

“Heh. Couldn’t if I tried.” He stroked Sasuke’s hair. “Your oral skills, by the way, are totally on.”

 

“I wanted to display them first,” Sasuke said, somewhat petulantly. “That was why I texted you.”

 

Naruto laughed. “We are really weird, aren’t we, Sasuke? How did this happen? I was completely domineering, and I don’t know if you liked it or not… and then we were wrestling… and then, you made me feel like the world turned upside down.” The laughter kept erupting out of him, almost hysterically. He felt again that he could cry.

 

“Shush,” Sasuke scolded gently. He rubbed Naruto’s back comfortingly. “I liked all of it. I...” he trailed off for a tense moment.

 

“I loved it, Naruto,” he said.

 

“I didn’t treat you like you treated me,” Naruto breathed.

 

“I didn’t want you to.”

 

“You were so gentle, and so soft. And I was so… rough… with you.”

 

Sasuke pulled away and looked at him, his dark eyes shimmering in the semi-darkness. “I didn’t want you to be gentle and soft with me, Naruto,” he said. “But I wanted to be that way to you.”

 

“But… what if I hurt you?”

 

Sasuke smiled. “I’ll tell you if you hurt me. I promise. You’re gentle and soft with me in other ways. You don’t have to be gentle with me…” he gestured idly over the two of them, “…this way.”

 

Naruto pulled him close. “I… care about you… Sasuke,” he said haltingly. “I want you to feel good when we’re together.”

 

He could not have predicted the way Sasuke tightened their embrace or the indulgent kiss he placed on the top of his head, nor the quiet, vulnerable tone of his voice when he brought his lips to Naruto’s ear and whispered, “I always do.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... if that was confusing for you, well, it was confusing for them, too. They are still figuring each other out while also trying to figure their own selves out, as well. They're both broken, but in their own ways, they're trying to allow each other space for their heartaches. They're trying to figure out how to be vulnerable with each other. And yeah, they're stunted, like teenage boys, and everything is a contest, but they didn't really get to do this stuff when they were actual teenagers, no?
> 
> Books: The Joy of Gay Sex is an actual book. It is a pretty good reference, and a long-standing one (first edition was in the 70s, just homosexuality was removed as a "disorder" from psychology texts) . The Gayma Sutra is also a real book. I don't know about a "Physician's Guide to Gay Sex." I've seen similarly titled books.


	18. The Beast in Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto and Sasuke's growing attachment irks Naruto's inner Kurama. Plans for another weekend away, lunch with Sakura, and a cryptic text from Boruto add up to it being a very, very bad day for Naruto to skip his Adderall.
> 
> Warning: Violence. It's at the end of the chapter. You'll see it coming. Also, boy x boy.

As he lay beside Sasuke in the darkness, Naruto pondered all he’d lost and gained in his life. He’d lost his marriage, his certainty, his bearings. Against that, he’d found richness in contradictions, the comfort of relating honestly to someone, the meaning of passion. Sasuke embodied all of those things.

He traced circles over Sasuke’s cheek and quietly laughed. How had he ever imagined he was straight? It had never been smooth skin and womanly curves that excited or fascinated him; he now knew that it was the brush of stubble over his cheek and the sharp planes of a muscular body that aroused him and made him feel safe enough to yield to the kind of ecstasy he and Sasuke shared. He idly wondered if that would change in any way once they’d built up to _that;_ if entering Sasuke or being entered by him would make it more or less intense.

He adored the way Sasuke nestled his face under his arm as he dozed. He wrapped his arms around him contentedly and covered his face with kisses.

“Mhm.” Sasuke groaned, half asleep. He nestled closer into Naruto’s side. “Hungry.”

Naruto caressed his back. “Want me to order delivery?”

“Mm.” Sasuke grunted drowsily.

Naruto chose to take the vocalization as assent. He stumbled out of the bed and pulled on his pants, finding his phone in his pocket. He quickly located a Japanese restaurant offering delivery and ordered fried rice, plain rice, tonkatsu ramen, chicken karaage, salmon, and vegetables. He decided that Sasuke needed to rest; he pulled a blanket over him and squeezed his arm, then walked reluctantly out to the living room to wait for the food.

When he answered the door some twenty minutes later, the young delivery driver reddened and became visibly flustered at his shirtless state. He grinned at her and doubled her tip; he should have thought to actually dress before opening the door.

_Heh. You’re the universal solvent, kid._

He smiled at his silly thoughts as he walked back to the bedroom to wake Sasuke. He was lying pretty much as Naruto had left him, sleeping lightly on his side. Naruto’s heart seemed to expand in his chest at the sight. In this unguarded state, Sasuke could pass for an innocent boy of 20 as opposed to a grown, world-wise man in his thirties. He was divided between wanting to stare at him like that as long as he could versus spooning against him protectively versus showering his lean body with kisses.

 _You need some perspective. You’re getting awfully close to thinking_ that _word, and you’re not ready._

He shoved his conflicted musings aside and walked to the bed. He bent and kissed Sasuke’s lips, earning a lazy groan from the sleeping man.

“Hey. Food’s here,” he whispered. He nibbled at Sasuke’s earlobe.

Sasuke rolled over and opened his eyes. For a moment, he stared at Naruto, his glimmering black eyes an unreadable scroll. Naruto’s chest ached. He kissed Sasuke again in an effort to push the sensation away from the front of his consciousness.

“C’mon. I think you’ll like what I got,” he urged.

The blanket fell to Sasuke’s hips as he sat up and stretched. Naruto caught his breath. The sight was igniting his lust all over again, but they were both hungry from their combative make-out session, and the food would soon be unappealingly cold.

Sasuke pulled his pants back on and stood. “What did you get?” he asked.

“Rice. Fried rice, just in case you didn’t like plain rice. Chicken karaage and salmon and ramen.”

“Were you planning on inviting anyone else?” Sasuke asked dryly.

Naruto laughed. “Hey. I’m starving. Plus, I thought if I got a lot of different things, then I’d have a better chance of getting something you liked.”

Sasuke smiled. “Then I suppose, by that logic, that you’d have had even better success if you’d ordered the whole menu. I don’t know why I would be surprised if you did. I’ve seen you eat.”

Naruto protested. “Bastard. I’m not the one who decided to throw a wrestling match in bed. That shit works up an appetite.”

Sasuke raised one brow. “I’m not the one who carried you through the apartment and threw you on the bed like a sack of rice, either.”

_He’s right. You did kind of mix your peas and carrots there._

Naruto smirked. “You complaining?”

“Hn.” Sasuke whipped his head to the side, but it wasn’t fast enough to hide the pink stain creeping into his cheeks.

Naruto spread the food over the table in the living room, just as Sasuke had done on his previous visits. He liked that they dined this way, sitting kotatsu style.

Sasuke ran his hands through his hair and looked over the selection. “What are you staring at? Do you have some sort of fetish about watching people eat?”

“Just eat. You were the one who said you were hungry,” Naruto said. He didn’t stop watching.

When Sasuke had finally filled a plate with his selection, Naruto laughed. Sasuke looked up questioningly.

“I guessed almost right,” Naruto said.

“Guessed?”

“About what you would choose. I thought for sure you’d go for the plain rice instead of the fried, though. I was right that you’d choose salmon over the karaage, and I was betting on ramen being a last choice.”

“And if you’d put that much thought into your schooling, you’d be the President of Harvard,” Sasuke retorted. His ghost-smile cut through the sarcasm. “I like fried rice, believe it or not. My brother used to make it for me when I was little.”

Naruto smiled. “What were you like as a little kid, Sasuke?” he asked.

“Annoying and inconvenient, I’d suppose,” Sasuke answered. “Like most children.”

“You’re so grumpy!” Naruto argued. “I bet you were adorable. I bet your eyes were huge and no one could tell you no, and you were spoiled rotten, but in a good way, not a bratty way, and I bet you were super serious but sweet.”

“That was a very long sentence.” Sasuke didn’t smile. Tension gathered around his eyes. “I don’t know about how adorable I was or how big my eyes were. In any event, people had an easy enough time telling me no.”

“Even your brother?” Naruto inquired. He knew he could stretch Sasuke’s patience with such questions. He couldn’t resist.

Sasuke’s lips thinned. “Even Itachi. Although… he didn’t tell me no quite as often as everyone else did.”

Naruto regretted his line of questioning. The headlines he’d tripped over on Google flashed through his mind; the wide-eyed Sasuke of his imagination was supplanted by the image of a grief-stricken, hollow-eyed child.

“Eh. No one had a problem telling me no, either,” Naruto said with a half-hearted grin. “Probably for the best. I’d have eaten nothing but ramen and done nothing but deface public property otherwise.”

“Hn.” Sasuke helped himself to more salmon.

Naruto squeezed lemon juice over his chicken. “You want any of this? It’s pretty good,” he offered.

“I’ll pass on the cardiovascular disease, thanks,” Sasuke snapped, looking dubiously at the greasy nuggets. “It looks like that chicken was fried by Deep Water Horizon.”

“Hey, this chicken died for a very good reason. This grease is just the testimony to its life of service,” Naruto responded.

“That doesn’t make any sense.”

“Well, of course it does. The more valuable a thing is, the more grease it gets.”

“You’re thinking about squeaky wheels.”

“I think you don’t know good things when you see them.”

“I think your heart is going to go on strike by the time you’re 50.”

Naruto laughed. To his relief, Sasuke’s little hint of a smile fluttered over his lips and even ghosted through his eyes.

_Because when all else fails, talk. And when talking fails, keep talking until you say something so ridiculously stupid that it works._

He wouldn’t argue with success, even if it did come at the cost of his adult dignity.

_Nothing says success like eating greasy chicken and ramen across from a hot, shirtless guy, I suppose._

Naruto couldn’t argue with that, either. If the proof was in the pudding, then eating and joking with a half-naked, post-orgasm Sasuke was evidence that there was some sort of genius to his randomness.

There was surprisingly little food left when they finished. Naruto had been much hungrier than he’d thought; Sasuke, too, ate more than he usually did. Naruto threw away the debris and sealed the leftovers into containers, following Sasuke’s directions while the other man flipped through channels on the television.

He had just settled on a documentary about the yakuza’s involvement in the Fukushima clean-up when Naruto came out into the living room.

“We can watch something else,” Sasuke said as he took a seat beside him on the sofa.

“Nah. This is kind of interesting. Besides, it’s your house.”

Sasuke elbowed him. “And you’re here because I told you to be. So don’t be stupid.”

“Because you _told_ me to be,” Naruto repeated back to him. “You were really bossy today.”

“You complied.”

“I wasn’t complaining.”

“Then shut up.”

Naruto laughed and laid his head on Sasuke’s shoulder. Sasuke snaked an arm around Naruto, resting his hand on his hip. Naruto smiled as he burrowed into Sasuke’s side.

Just as he began to nod off, he was shaken awake by a soft caress over his chest. He opened his eyes and looked up to find Sasuke peering at him.

“When did you get your tattoos?”

Naruto blinked and yawned. “Hmm. Ah… Kurama I got when I was 15. I got the one on my stomach… I think… maybe a year and a half, two years later?”

Sasuke smirked. “How’d you find a studio who would do the work when you were so young?”

“Heh. My godfather was really permissive for the first one. He knew artists who wouldn’t say anything, I guess. The second one, I just walked in and said I wanted a tattoo and showed them what I had drawn and they did it.”

Sasuke raised one brow. “Your godfather took you for your first? And you were only 15?”

The memory made Naruto smile. “He was of the opinion that it was my body, and if it was important enough for me to ask for it, then it was important enough for him to be sure I went some place where I wouldn’t get hepatitis or a second-rate design.”

“No one lectured you about how you’d change your mind later?”

“No. And I never have, so I guess we were all on the same page.”

“You had a unique upbringing,” Sasuke said, smiling slightly.

“That I did,” Naruto responded. “But that was the best time in my childhood.” He leaned back a little and studied Sasuke’s face. “I don’t want you to think that my godfather was a bad guardian. Maybe he wasn’t the best, but he was the first adult who gave me a safe place to live consistently and worked to keep me safe.”

Something shifted in Sasuke’s eyes, so quickly that Naruto might have thought he imagined it had he not known better. “I’m glad you had him, then,” he murmured.

“So am I,” Naruto agreed. A lump formed in his throat as he remembered Jiraiya’s taunts and encouragements. He closed his eyes.

_He would’ve loved to see you with Sasuke._

Naruto’s chest tightened at the thought. Jiraiya _would_ have been happy. He’d also have looked through Naruto’s search history and teased him relentlessly about his sexual ignorance until Naruto wanted to throw something at him. He probably would have raised hell about Naruto “courting” Hinata and marrying her without experiencing life more fully. There were a lot of ways, he imagined, that his life would have gone very differently had Jiraiya not died when he had.

_You’d be the main character in a gay romance novel, for one thing._

Naruto almost laughed. He knew he’d cry, too, though, if he did.

Sasuke squeezed his arm gently and kissed the top of his head. When Naruto opened his eyes, Sasuke’s attention was focused on the documentary. A warm feeling engulfed Naruto as he studied his elegant profile. He had given Naruto space to feel, finding a balance between prying voyeuristically and leaving him alone. He slid down and laid his head in Sasuke’s lap.

_Don’t fall in love with him, fucker._

Naruto’s stomach lurched at the thought. He wasn’t ready—he didn’t think—to fall in love. He had no idea, though, how he’d stop once he’d begun. Sasuke was creating a place in his heart, deeper and deeper with each encounter.

“You can put your feet on the sofa if you’d be more comfortable,” Sasuke said without moving his eyes from the TV.

Appreciative of the permission, Naruto stretched his legs out. He dozed off again as Sasuke stroked his hair.

When he next awoke, Sasuke was stretching and turning off the TV. He stood up as Naruto sat. “There’s an extra toothbrush in the bathroom,” he told Naruto. “It’s still in the wrapper.”

_There’s an extra toothbrush. For you. In his bathroom. Seriously. Don’t fall in love. Toothbrushes are not love._

Naruto smiled at the backhanded invitation to spend the night. He hugged Sasuke and kissed him quickly on the cheek; as he withdrew, Sasuke attacked his lips with a brutal, sloppy kiss that went straight to his groin. Just as Naruto began to respond, Sasuke pulled back and walked off towards the bedroom. Naruto laughed and went off to brush his teeth.

 

 

The slow, deliberate kisses they shared in bed—Naruto clad in a spare pair of Sasuke’s pajama pants—made Naruto feel as if he’d been possessed by a hundred somersaulting butterflies.

_I’m watching a train wreck in slow motion and I can’t make it stop._

_Shut **up**. _ Naruto rebuffed the nagging inner critic as he succumbed to the lure of Sasuke’s lips and tongue.

He whined when Sasuke pulled away and sat up on his side of the bed. Sasuke’s responding laugh was deep and erotic.

“So impatient,” he chided Naruto. “Now, close your eyes.”

Naruto complied reluctantly. He felt his pajama bottoms being lowered halfway. He then heard the snap of a bottle top flipping open. Something cool and slippery trickled over his penis and scrotum. He sucked in his breath at the sensation.

Sasuke’s hand closed around the base of his cock. His thumb brushed over the tip, teasing the slit and spreading Naruto’s own lubrication around the head. Naruto moaned and squirmed. Sasuke chuckled again; the sound went straight to his dick. His penis, which had been half-erect while they’d made out, sprung fully to life in Sasuke’s hand.

Contravening his building desire, he pushed Sasuke away and sat up. “Let’s do this together.”

“Hn.” Sasuke took off his own pajama bottoms and placed them on the bedside table. Naruto did the same.

“Pass the lotion,” Naruto demanded. Sasuke placed the bottle in his hand.

Naruto moved closer to Sasuke until they were kneeling chest to chest and kissed him deeply. He squeezed some lotion out into his palm and rubbed it over Sasuke’s erection. He pumped out more and spread it over his balls, then massaged some into his perineum. When his fingertips brushed Sasuke’s entrance, Naruto heard him catch his breath.

Gently and tentatively, he explored the tightly puckered ring as Sasuke pumped his cock. He circled the little hole with feather-light touches, making note of Sasuke’s vocalizations and movements as he did.

He returned his attention to Sasuke’s fully erect member, grasping it and massaging it from base to tip with long, firm strokes.

The pleasure was almost excruciating.

Sasuke adroitly manipulated his cock in time with the rhythm of Naruto’s strokes. Naruto grasped the ebony locks at the back of Sasuke’s head and pulled him closer, biting his lower lip before running his tongue over it. They nipped and sucked at each other’s lips, their tongues sliding sensuously over each other, moaning and sighing in response to their mutual ecstasy.

Naruto could barely focus when Sasuke’s tongue thrust greedily into his mouth, deepening their kiss in a show of dominance. His fist caught in Sasuke’s hair before releasing it to scrape his nails down his back. Sasuke moaned into his mouth as Naruto raked his fingers up and down over his spine. The silky skin under his fingertips made Naruto want to scream.

Possessively, he grabbed Sasuke’s hip, trying impossibly to pull them even closer together. They knelt together in pornographic hedonism, their grunts and moans a liturgy of mutual worship. He pulled away from their kiss with an obscene slurp; a string of saliva trailed between their lips.

“Take over,” he ordered, releasing Sasuke’s cock and prying the other man’s hand open to encompass the two of them.

Sasuke looked at him questioningly, but Naruto said nothing more. He reached for the lotion again, drizzling more over both their cocks. Understanding his intent, Sasuke began kneading their erections together with delectable friction. His testicles slid against Naruto’s teasingly.

“Fuck,”Naruto ground out. His hips thrust and rolled against Sasuke. He squeezed more lotion onto his palm. He massaged Sasuke’s back, waist, and hips with firm, circular motions. He relished the taut musculature and the sharp angles of his waist and hipbones.

He picked up the lotion once again to drip some over Sasuke’s ass. He captured Sasuke’s lips again as he kneaded the firm mounds beneath the heels of his palm. Remembering Sasuke’s response to his playful swats earlier, he brought his hand down over the flesh he had just caressed. Sasuke’s hips shot forward in response; Naruto swallowed his moan.

He brought his hand down again, harder this time, and Sasuke frenetically ground against him. Their shafts slid together slickly, wrenching moans from each of them. He spanked the other cheek, and then the other, alternating sharp smacks with gentle caresses. Sasuke’s animalistic response egged him on as he rained blows and soft touches down over the tight globes.

With his other hand, he slid his finger slowly into the cleft of Sasuke’s ass. He palmed his testicles, rolling them carefully in his hand as his own tightened in response to the contact with Sasuke’s dick.

He trailed his fingers over the skin beneath his balls, then feathered over his entrance again.

Sasuke pulled away from their prolonged lip-lock breathlessly, throwing his head back in pleasure and breathing in sharply. Naruto experimentally pushed against the pucker.

“Eeeanhhh!” Sasuke’s scream was high-pitched, born of surprised pleasure.

“Does that feel OK, Sasuke?” he asked carefully. Sasuke nodded dumbly.

Naruto pushed a little more forcefully, allowing his finger to barely enter Sasuke.

“More, Naruto,” Sasuke begged.

Slowly, lest he hurt Sasuke, Naruto slipped his entire finger through the tight, outer ring of muscles.

Sasuke rocked backwards, demanding more. He clenched around Naruto’s finger as he slid it completely in.

He stilled momentarily.

“You OK?” Naruto asked.

“Mhm. It’s just different. Give me a second,” Sasuke said softly.

Naruto kissed his temple and rubbed his back as he adjusted to the intruding digit. After a very brief moment, Sasuke began to move his hips again; his hand, which had frozen around their shafts, once again began pumping with a slow, steady rhythm.

Naruto moved his finger around gingerly. As he rotated his digit towards Sasuke’s front, he brushed against a firm protrusion.

“Nnngh. Naruto, there! Right there!” Sasuke moaned. He ground helplessly against Naruto.

Naruto brushed over the sensitive area again. Sasuke thrust sharply, his cock rubbing wetly against Naruto’s and making him weak in the knees.

Naruto brought his other hand down between him and Sasuke, lowering it over Sasuke’s hand as his finger continued its delicate quest. He experimented with different pressures and rhythms until he found what Sasuke liked; a firm, steady, come-hither motion. They frotted heatedly, their breaths tumbling out fast and shallow.

Naruto had underestimated how intoxicating it would be to explore Sasuke this way. Sasuke was hot and tight around his finger. His muscles clenched in response to stimulation in a way he hadn’t expected. He kissed Sasuke’s neck and shoulders, sucking wetly at the sensitive spot where they met.

Sasuke’s balls drew up tightly against his, and his ass gripped his finger snugly.

“Gahh…. Gonna… Naruto…” His thrusts became more insistent.

Naruto moved his hand and finger faster and more resolutely as he felt Sasuke’s climax building.

“Ahnnng, Mmmm. Aahn!” Sasuke cried out. His orgasm seemed to explode from him, spurting multiple times over their hands and stomachs.

Naruto continued to stimulate Sasuke’s prostate as he neared his own orgasm. To his surprise, Sasuke continued to clench around him and moan weakly.

“Fuck!” Naruto cried. He came harder than he had ever done before, shuddering and gasping. He leaned against Sasuke forehead to forehead. They were both covered in sweat.

Utterly spent, Sasuke collapsed sideways on the bed. Naruto forced himself to stand on shaky legs after his breaths became deeper and more even. He knew Sasuke would want to be clean before he slept. He lumbered into the bathroom and washed his hands and his stomach where their combined seed was beginning to dry. He quickly located two washcloths and a towel and walked to the kitchen, where he poured two glasses of chilled water from the purification pitcher.

In the darkened room, Sasuke was stretched out just as he had fallen. Naruto gently wiped him clean, raining soft kisses over his face as he did. This little ritual had begun with their first explorations, Naruto reflected.

“Mmm, Naruto...” Sasuke murmured sleepily. “So good.”

The comment brought a tender smile to Naruto’s lips. This relaxed, vulnerable side of Sasuke made him feel weak and impulsive, as if he could give up anything and everything just to coax it out of him again and again. He loved it most of all because it was such a contradiction to the prickly, sarcastic personality Sasuke usually maintained. Of course, he would never have it otherwise; it was the coexistence of these two realities that made Sasuke who he was.

He dried Sasuke off everywhere he had cleaned. “Water?” he asked.

“Mhm.”

Sasuke sat up slowly and took the glass from Naruto, drinking it down almost entirely in a few swallows.

“Want your pajamas?” Naruto asked.

“No.”

Naruto chuckled. “Naked it is, then.”

“You, too,” Sasuke demanded.

Naruto smiled as he pulled the blanket back so they could climb under. “Whatever you want, _Queen Sasuke.”_

“Quit it. I may be weak, now, but you will go to sleep sometime,” Sasuke grumbled.

He chortled as he snuggled in beside Sasuke and wrapped his arms around him. To his surprise, Sasuke laughed, as well. He soon dropped into the most contented slumber he had known in his life.

 

 

The tinkling tone of Sasuke’s alarm woke him just as the sun was beginning to rise. Sasuke himself arose immediately.

“You can sleep as long as you like,” he told Naruto. “I’m going to get a shower. Would you like breakfast?”

“Are you on the menu?” Naruto quipped drowsily.

“Hn. Variety in diet,” Sasuke snapped.

“I’ll eat if you’re eating. I’ll help if you like.”

“It’s fine. I’m going to shower then.” Sasuke kissed him on the head.

Naruto pulled him closer, aiming for his lips.

“Stop it. Morning breath,” Sasuke admonished sharply.

“I don’t care about morning breath,” Naruto said, trying again.

“I was talking about yours.”

“Ah. Yeah. Sorry,” he said.

Sasuke kissed his cheek. “I’ll make it up to you after our mouths are sanitized.”

“I’m counting on it,” Naruto said with a grin. He watched as Sasuke stood up and stretched. Heat spread through Naruto’s lower abdomen when he saw the red, clearly delineated hand prints on his buttocks. His penis decided, inconveniently, to wake up and announce its presence beneath the covers.

Ignorant of the effect he was having on Naruto’s nethers, Sasuke strode out of the room. Soon, the sound of running water issued from the bathroom.

Naruto closed his eyes, summoning the memory of the prior night’s sensations to the forefront of his mind. He recalled the way Sasuke had screamed and moaned as he’d fingered him and the way his flesh had felt sliding against Sasuke’s. The erotic reminiscence, aided by a few vigorous, efficient strokes of his fist, ensured that his arousal was relieved quickly. He wiped himself off with one of the washcloths on the bedside table and sighed.

Every time he and Sasuke had been together, it seemed, there had been something new to experience, another boundary to test. He had never fantasized about spanking anyone at all. In truth, the allure rested almost entirely upon Sasuke’s response to it. Naruto had discovered that quite accidentally. He’d also not expected to enjoy fingering another man, or for it to be something enjoyable for the partner receiving. He heaved a contented sigh, pleased that he and Sasuke could explore these new experiences together.

He was loath to leave his sensual recollections behind when Sasuke emerged to tell him that he could shower. As the hot water ran over his body, he smiled happily. He washed and rinsed his hair, then soaped up, glad to be alive and sated on this particular day. When he was finished, he took extra care brushing his teeth and rinsing his mouth. Sasuke had promised to kiss him after his breath was acceptable.

He wrapped the towel around his waist and walked back towards the bedroom, running into Sasuke on the way.

“You want clean clothes?” the dark haired man asked.

“I dunno. What’s more Walk-of-Shame-y, going home in my dirty clothes or your clean ones? Ooh, I know. Going home naked.”

“Tch.” Sasuke rolled his eyes, but smiled slightly anyway. “There’s a set of clothes on the bed. We are roughly the same size. They should work.”

“Thanks.” Naruto walked closer to Sasuke and wrapped his arms around him. “Is my breath acceptable, now?”

Sasuke frowned, as if he were considering the question seriously. “Fair,” he pronounced.

Grinning, Naruto pulled him in and kissed him softly. It was a languid and gentle kiss, full of calm confidence. It felt better than any kiss had a right to feel, Naruto reckoned.

_Dear God. Couldn’t you have picked up a less sickening habit, like, say, meth?_

Naruto smiled as his tongue slid lazily over Sasuke’s. _Fuck off,_ he told his inner demon. Whatever this was, he was going to enjoy it, and he would not allow his own mind to ruin it before he’d seen it out.

Sasuke pushed him back. “We need to eat. Soon. Go get dressed,” he instructed.

“Sir, yes, sir!” Naruto gave a mock salute and grinned at him cockily.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes in a mockery of irritation. “If I phrase it as a double-dog dare, could you maybe act like an adult for five minutes?”

Naruto pecked him on the lips. “Probably not.” He walked back to the bedroom, grinning the entire way.

There was something incredibly arousing about putting on Sasuke’s clothes. It was as if he’d been claimed and branded.

Sasuke looked up in acknowledgment when he walked into the kitchen. “Wash your hands and help me chop.”

“Tote that barge, lift that bail...” Naruto sang theatrically.

“Shut up. There’s a cutting board and a knife on the counter. I am doing the onions. Can I trust you to uniformly dice the tomatoes?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can also tie my own shoes and cross the street safely without adult supervision.”

Sasuke snorted. “Pfft. I don’t know exactly what happened, but you’re you to the power of ten today. Could you tone it down long enough for us to nourish and caffeinate ourselves?”

“Fine, grumpy bottoms.” Naruto picked up the knife and began carefully cutting the tomato Sasuke had left out into small squares. It took more effort than he had realized; he wasn’t accustomed to putting much thought into food preparation.

“What are we making, Sasuke?” he asked.

Sasuke wiped tears out of his eyes as he washed his hands. “Omelettes.”

“Wow. I never make such elaborate breakfasts,” Naruto said.

“It’s some eggs and vegetables. It’s hardly _elaborate,_ ” Sasuke pointed out.

Naruto said nothing, but he refused to be unimpressed.

Soon enough, Sasuke was setting their plates down, and Naruto was pouring their coffee. It was a delicious breakfast; Naruto hadn’t known just how hungry he was until he actually had food in front of him. Sasuke watched in amusement as he wolfed down his omelette in just a few bites, washing it down with coffee.

“This is the best breakfast. Thank you,” Naruto said to his companion. He couldn’t understand why Sasuke would downplay such an accomplishment.

“You’re easy to please,” Sasuke said. He immediately blushed and looked down.

“Hey, you don’t know that!” Naruto contended. “You just have never offered me anything less than perfection. I have standards, ya know.”

Sasuke’s blush intensified, but he smiled. All too soon, it was time to leave. Naruto was pleased when, at the door, Sasuke wrapped his hands around his neck possessively and kissed him long and hard. He held onto Sasuke’s waist, savoring the kiss for as long as he could.

“Hey, thanks for calling me and having me over,” he said when they parted. “It was incredible. Everything.” He kissed Sasuke’s forehead.

In a whisper so quiet that Naruto could almost doubt that he’d heard it, Sasuke responded, “ _You_ were incredible.”

Overwhelmed with affection, Naruto pulled Sasuke close to him. “You’ve set the bar so high that the rest of the day is bound to suck,” he murmured.

Sasuke laughed. And pinched him. Of course.

_Please just kill us. This is painful, kid._

Naruto laughed at his own thoughts as he and Sasuke walked out into an overcast day, getting into their separate cars.

* * *

 

His leg had a mind of its own as he waited for Sakura outside of the hospital. When he’d arrived at his apartment, he’d discovered that he’d failed to take his Adderall the previous day. It was little surprise that he had aggravated Sasuke that morning; his innate hyperactivity apparently formed a dangerous synergism with sexual satisfaction. He could literally have bounced off walls.

As he waited, his phone buzzed, alerting him that Sasuke had messaged.

_Would you be able to go out of town from Friday morning through Sunday evening three weekends from now?_

He smiled. He wasn’t sure what Sasuke had in mind for a weekend, but he was not about to tell him no.

_Are we joining the circus?_

_Something like that._

The response made him laugh. He could almost hear Sasuke rolling his eyes through the words. Before he could respond further, Sasuke texted again.

_Before you answer, do you have allergies to any animals?_

That was a strange question.

 _Room mothers,_ he responded.

_Then you should be fine._

“What’s so funny, Uzumaki?” Sakura had walked up beside him as he read Sasuke’s last message.

“Sasuke,” he answered with a chuckle, watching Sakura’s eyes widen. “Give me just a minute.” He typed back his answer.

_OK. If you promise I will be exposed to no room mothers or PTO officers, I can pretty much guarantee I’m good for the weekend._

_Bring epinephrine. You never know when you’ll encounter them in the wild._

Naruto snorted. “What’s got you all giggly?” Sakura asked, clearly amused.

“Sasuke’s just funny.”

“Sasuke?” She lifted her eyebrows and smirked. “That’s new and interesting. You’re either a masochist or Sasuke is actually discovering humor.”

“Hey, he’s hilarious! I mean, it’s usually in a spiteful, kind of deadly way, but still… I think I was the one who was bitchy in that exchange. My apologies to all room mothers and PTO officers.”

Sakura wrinkled up her nose. “No apologies needed for them. They’re clearly in league with sinister forces.”

She linked her arm through Naruto’s. “Are you… you _are!_ You are totally wearing Sasuke’s clothes!” She grinned deviously. “You owe me details as soon as we get our food.”

Naruto blushed. He could imagine Sasuke flaying him alive—metaphorically, of course—if he discovered he was handing out details of their intimate adventures.

_Probably not as metaphorically as you’d like to believe._

“Sushi OK?” he asked Sakura, eager to change the subject, even if it was only a temporary reprieve.

“Sounds great. Let’s head to Uzushio, then.” Arm in arm, they walked towards their destination.

“So how is my grumpy ex-husband?” she asked after a few minutes.

“Um. He was pretty good this morning,” he said.

The gleam in her eye made him shrink with embarrassment.

“And you went home in his clothes,” she jibed. “I’m impressed, Naruto.” She squeezed his arm and looked up at him softly. “Does he seem happy?”

Naruto thought the question over. Sasuke had seemed very happy this morning… and last night. Darkness seemed to creep into his vision as he thought of their trip, though.

“Mostly,” he mumbled. “Does he… does he really believe he’s a horrible person, Sakura?”

Sakura looked down at her feet. “I’m afraid so. I wasn’t ever able to convince him otherwise.”

Naruto sighed. “What do I do? How do I fix that for him? I know I haven’t known him long, but I wish I could make him see himself the way I do.”

Sakura smiled sadly. “I don’t know. I really don’t. But the fact that he’s letting you come as close to him as you are… the fact that you two can laugh together… that’s a big deal for Sasuke. Don’t underestimate its importance.”

Naruto mulled this over as they walked. Sasuke did seem more relaxed with him lately. Their verbal sparring was something reassuring, bereft of ill intent or bitterness. They joked with each other. They had become, step by tentative step, more confident in their interactions. He’d actually texted Naruto to come over, something Naruto had been longing for; he’d even started to make plans for a weekend together.

Sakura interrupted his ruminations. “Earth to Naruto. We’re here.”

“Heh? Oh. Sorry,” Naruto mumbled. They went into Uzushio Sushi Bar and took a table for two.

After they’d made their orders, Sakura spoke up. “So is it really going well with you guys?”

“I think so,” Naruto said. “He texts me to make plans, and we seem to relate to each other OK.”

Sakura radiated sincere happiness. “I’m truly glad.” She smiled and toyed with her napkin. “I do have ulterior motives again,” she confessed.

Naruto groaned. “Why am I suddenly afraid?”

“Because you are a very wise man.” She made a playful moue. “I know I’m being kind of an unfair cock-blocker...”

Naruto choked on his water. Sakura just laughed at him.

“Sorry about that. Anyway. I think I told you I am going away for vacation for two weeks. I leave next week,” she went on.

Naruto nodded.

“Sasuke will be taking care of Sarada. I was hoping that you’d maybe help him out sometimes. I think being around other parents and kids would be good for them. They obviously don’t need to be babysat the entire time; maybe just help out if he has something come up or bring your kids to meet up with them once or twice.”

Naruto beamed. “I’d love that. I enjoy Sarada, and she gets along great with Himawari and Boruto. It’ll be fun.”

Sakura looked relieved. “Thank you. I hope Sasuke will make the most of this time with Sarada. They are starting to get closer. They even text every day. But I still would like to gently nudge him towards a more… well, a _closer_ relationship with her.”

Naruto entertained the thought of doing things together with Sasuke and their kids. Maybe they’d go to the beach. They could make dinner together, or the kids could have sleepovers.

 _Don’t you_ dare _start playing house with that bastard._

He shrugged off the warning bells in his mind, the ones that told him he was perilously close to going ass over tit off a cliff.

He remembered something. “Uh. Sasuke asked me to go out of town with him in three weeks for a weekend.”

Sakura waved his concern away. “I’ll check it out with him for exact dates, but it should be completely fine. I should be back by then. Besides, she can stay with the Akimichis for the weekend if push comes to shove.”

Naruto was relieved. He didn’t want to miss out on whatever Sasuke was planning, despite his eagerness to get their families together.

“So. You. Sasuke’s clothes. What happened there?” Sakura wiggled her eyebrows at him. “Walk of shame?”

  
Naruto chuckled and blushed. “I guess. Yeah. I mean, I ended up spending the night at his place last night. I just never changed once I got home.”

“Whose idea was it for you to stay over?”

Naruto gulped.

_He’s going to nail your balls to the wall if this gets back to him._

“Uh. Sasuke’s,” he squeaked.

She giggled conspiratorially. “I won’t tell him. I wouldn’t dare. But damn. I did not predict that!”

Naruto grinned despite his embarrassment. “Neither did I,” he mumbled.

“I think you’ve gotten more action out of that man in a month than I did in twelve years of marriage.”

His mouth fell open, and he gaped at her mutely. She just laughed wickedly. Eventually, he laughed along with her. He hoped that one day he and Hinata would each be able to joke about their flawed marriage this way.

The food arrived just as his phone buzzed. “Excuse me, Sakura,” he said as he picked it up. He frowned when he saw Boruto’s number on the screen.

_Come and get me._

Tension wrapped around his neck and back.

_Are you OK? What’s wrong?_

_I’m fine. I’ll tell you when you pick me up. Can you pick me up from the mall food court?_

Naruto stood hastily. “Uh, Sakura, I have to go. Boruto just shot me a really cryptic message. Just… message me with anything you need while you’re gone.”

He was gratified to see the concern in her expression. “Go on, Naruto. I’ll take care of the bill. Just go get Boruto.”

“Thanks.” He hastily flung some bills onto the table and strode out.

  


* * *

  


He found Boruto sitting with some of his friends at a table in the food court, the tension obvious in his body. He stood as soon as he saw Naruto.

“Gotta go, guys, old man’s here,” he said to the group as he walked away.

“But we all just got here, Boruto!” one of his friends whined. “We were supposed to go to the arcade.”

“Next time.”

He walked silently alongside Naruto as they made their way out of the mall.

“You wanna tell me what this is about and why it was so urgent?” Naruto asked when they made it back to the car.

Boruto’s jaw tensed. His hands were balled into fists in his lap, and he shook.

_Shit. What did you do, now?_

“Boruto? Is everything OK? Are you OK?” Naruto ventured delicately.

Boruto’s face was red when he turned to face him. “Kiba,” he spat.

“What? What about Kiba?” Naruto prodded.

Boruto heaved with anger. “He came over again. Today. Even though Mom told him not to. He was telling her he could give her a _real man_ and be the ‘father me and Hima never had.’”

Rage welled up inside of him.

“ _What?”_

“He came over. Tried to convince Mom to go out with him. This is the third time, Dad.”

“And she already told him to leave her alone.” Naruto didn’t have to ask. He knew the answer. Hinata was an introverted and cautious person; she would not have appreciated such an intrusion, especially after having told him twice before to leave her alone.

Boruto nodded.

“Buckle up,” Naruto said through his clenched teeth.

“Where are we going?” Boruto asked warily.

“Don’t worry about it. Does your Mom know you’re with me?”

Boruto shook his head no.

“All right.”

His inner demon was roaring deafeningly. Naruto knew where Kiba lived, knew where he worked. This would be the last time he harassed anyone in his family, and despite everything, Hinata was still part of that family.

Boruto regarded him nervously as he drove through a decaying subdivision, eventually parking at a shabby house in a cul-de-sac.

“Stay here,” he ordered Boruto. He got out of the car and stomped up the walk, banging aggressively on the front door when he reached the stoop. Dogs barked from kennels in the back yard.

He banged until the door cracked open.

“The sign says no solici...”

Kiba did not get an opportunity to finish his sentence. Naruto shoved the door open and punched him squarely in the face, then collared him and pinned him to the entryway wall.

“What the fuck, you goddamn fa...”

“Go ahead,” he growled. “Finish your sentence. But remember how easily I beat your ass in college, and then consider the fact that I’ve continued to train every day since then. Have you?”

Kiba kicked at him feebly, but Naruto swept his legs and brought him to the floor. He pinned him again, this time wrapping his fist around his throat.

“You stay. The fuck. Away. From my _family,_ ” he roared. He hit Kiba again, and then again.

Kiba panted and whimpered.

“I... love... Hinata,” he wheezed.

“I really thought you did,” Naruto said. “That’s why I didn’t fight back when you sucker-punched me before. But when you love someone, you don’t hang around waiting to pounce when they’re down. You don’t wish for them to lose their happiness just so you can have them to yourself. You treasure their friendship and you _don’t_ force your attention on them after they’ve told you to stop.” He shook Kiba as he finished.

“If I ever hear about you harassing Hinata or my kids again, it will be the last fucking thing that you do.”

“Get out,” Kiba hissed. Tears spilled out of his eyes and his face was bloodied. “Just get out. You’re crazy.”

“Maybe I am. But I didn’t harass a woman after she told me to leave her alone two times already. I mean it. She said no. _Leave her alone._ And while we’re at it, my kids have a father. You aren’t needed.”

He pulled Kiba’s head and shoulders up just to fling him down sharply again. He slammed the front door as he left, his vision almost completely obliterated by his white-hot fury.

The adrenaline was still pumping through his veins as he peeled out of the subdivision. Slowly, he returned to his senses, aware that Boruto was staring at him worriedly.

He shook and breathed shallowly. As they stopped at an intersection, Boruto’s voice—higher and thinner than he’d heard it in years—brought him back to reality.

“Are you bleeding, Dad?”

He looked at his hand. It was, indeed, covered in blood. He grabbed a napkin out of the console and wiped it clean.

“No,” he said, aware that his voice sounded only vaguely human.

He drove back to his apartment complex and put the car in park.

“Boruto.”

His son’s eyes were round, his face pale. “Yeah, Dad.”

“You tell me if _anybody_ bothers you, Himawari, or your mom again. You hear me?”

Boruto nodded.

“And if Kiba calls or shows up at your house again, you call me immediately.”

Boruto nodded again.

Naruto took a long, deep breath and brought his hands to his temples.

“Dad?” Boruto said cautiously.

“Yes?”

“Are you… are you really OK?”

Naruto looked at him again and smiled. “Yeah, son, I am. I’m OK.”

He suddenly wasn’t so sure.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the seemingly gratuitous violence. Naruto does admit to having an inner demon, and it's not always the giant plushy he wills it to be. Out of curiosity, how do you think Sasuke would respond to Naruto pummeling Kiba? Think he'd cheer him on or be disappointed?


	19. The Dandelion Antidote

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sasuke awakes from nightmares, eager for the distraction of Naruto's cheerful disposition. Naruto, though, isn't his usual self.

The morning light stabbed through Sasuke’s nightmares. He sat upright, breathless and covered in sweat, a sound like the protest of tortured violin strings echoing through his head. He stumbled to the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet in time to evacuate bile into the basin. His empty stomach continued to heave painfully; he splashed water into his mouth at the sink only so it could come right back up. He struggled to calm his racing heart and make his hands stop shaking.

 

He couldn’t remember his dreams. It was just as well; they left their slimy residue all over his waking mind, even without the visual remembrance of their content. It had been a long time since they had visited.

 

Sasuke forced himself to walk to the kitchen, where he drank a full glass of water and choked down a slice of bread. Eating was the last thing in the world he wanted to do right now, but he knew he’d only spiral downward physically if he didn’t get some food in his belly quickly.

 

He rummaged briefly through the refrigerator and found a hard-boiled egg and some grapes. His body remained at high alert as he made himself eat. He focused his mind on his surroundings: the light slanting through the blinds, the high-pitched whine of the refrigerator, the song of the birds outside. His heart rate began to slow and his hands stopped shaking as his panic gradually receded.

 

 _Naruto._ He reminded himself that he was having lunch with the loud-mouthed blond today, a welcome reprieve from the onslaught of memories that invariably came along with the bad dreams. As welcome a reprieve as it was, it burned that he should rely upon anyone to provide an antidote to the darkness that settled over him at times like this.

 

Still. Naruto was coming to meet him, today, at Sasuke’s own bidding. He would bring his laughter and light, and the sticking slime of his nightmares would be dispelled. The thought made Sasuke smile. It was all but impossible to be dark or pessimistic in Naruto’s presence.

 

Gradually, Sasuke was finding that it was easier to yield to Naruto’s optimism and good will than it was to fight it; moreover, he had lost the will to fight it almost from the very beginning. Sasuke thought of the night they had met, of the calculated dinginess of the bar and the jaded pretenses of almost everyone there. It had been nothing for Sasuke but a place to drink, to commemorate the dead that he and he alone remained to honor.

 

There, in the midst of the hollowness, Naruto had seemed to gather all the light to himself. He was, Sasuke thought then, like a dandelion, blooming vividly and wildly in the midst of carefully cultivated gloom and uniformity. Sasuke had resented his presence, at first. It was too bright and intrusive. Somehow, though, it had pierced through his defenses, and he had warmed to it immediately.

 

_It grows on ya after a while._

 

Sasuke closed his eyes. His smile grew wider. He no longer wanted to resist Naruto’s brightness and warmth. He wanted to soak it up until it burned away the nightmares of the past and the emptiness of the future, leaving nothing but a sunny present. Naruto kept making space for Sasuke, true to his word; space for him to demand, space for him to ask, space for him to be human.

 

* * *

Naruto was not himself. He was both more and less subdued; he was unusually quiet, but he was unable to sit still. He paced as he ate, making Sasuke nervous.

“Sit down, usuratonkachi. You’re going to choke,” Sasuke warned him.

Naruto scowled, but obeyed. As soon as he’d sat, however, his leg began jiggling. Sasuke noticed, for the first time, the swelling and bruising on his right hand.

He caught Naruto’s wrist and lifted it. He didn’t ask. He simply stared at Naruto, forcing him to meet his eyes. The flush that rose to his face did not escape Sasuke’s notice, nor did the way Naruto narrowed his eyes.

“Naruto.”

Naruto jumped at Sasuke’s voice.

“Was it the same guy?”

Naruto nodded.

“Is he going to come after you again?”

Naruto looked down and fidgeted with the hem of his shirt. “I don’t think so.”

“What happened this time?” Sasuke asked.

“He has been harassing my ex-wife. It bothered my son. So I… I… hit. I hit him.” Naruto bit his lip, and Sasuke noted the tension in his jaw.

The age-old call of rage roared through Sasuke’s mind. “You have to make sure he is not going to come back for you, Naruto.”

Naruto pursed his lips and looked away. “I’m sure he won’t. He’s not some tough guy. He’s weak, mostly talk.”

“Weak people are treacherous. They fight dirty, hit from behind, gang up. You can’t take it for granted that getting pummeled will effectively end his aggression.” Sasuke studied Naruto carefully as he spoke, hoping that he would listen.

“I… can’t believe it,” Naruto said hoarsely. “I can’t believe he’s such an asshole. I’ve known him my whole life. And I can’t believe I… I… did that. I can’t believe I lost control...”

Sasuke’s anger shifted. He hated the way that Naruto could be so cocky and self-assured and yet utterly debase and devalue himself in relation to others.

“Don’t be an idiot, Naruto. He made your child feel unsafe. I’d be the last person to tell you to call the police and handle it through ‘proper channels.’ Do you hear me? The man attacked you. You didn’t act on it. He frightened your ex-wife and your child, and you confronted him. I’m not criticizing you for ‘losing control,’ baka.” Sasuke felt the heat rise in his chest as he talked.

“I teach kids. I tell them that violence isn’t an answer. I tell them to talk about their problems. How could I… just…” Naruto’s voice broke, and to Sasuke’s horror, his eyes filled with tears.

Sasuke hated tears. He had no reference point for dealing with them. He and Itachi had been taught that stoicism was the highest form of humanity, and that a polite smile was the absolute limit of emotional demonstration. By time, he found himself on decent footing with anger—or decent enough, anyway, when it suited his lifestyle—but never had he found himself at home with sadness, either his or others’.

But.

This was _Naruto,_ who had made space for Sasuke. Naruto, who had not only given Sasuke the right to request and demand things, but actually encouraged him to exercise that right. Naruto, the first person since…

Well. Since… years… who had allowed Sasuke to need or want or ask for any damned thing at all. So how could Sasuke _not_ make space for Naruto’s tears, even if they distressed him, even if they made him feel both incredibly small and dangerously— _distressingly—_ powerful at once?

_Goddamn._

Nine-tailed kitsunes. Demon seals.

Sasuke’s throat tightened uncomfortably at the recognition. Naruto was afraid, genuinely afraid, that he was a horrible, irredeemable spirit of rage that could wreak havoc if he didn’t exercise rigid restraint of his anger at all times. Sasuke had thought, ever since their weekend away, that he had understood Naruto, but he hadn’t. He had understood on an academic level only the deep-seated conflict within the man who brought so much light into his world. He imagined he could hear the same dark, discordant note from his own nightmares reverberating through Naruto’s inner world.

He took Naruto’s face in his hands. “Naruto.”

Naruto sniffled and looked sideways.

“Naruto,” he said more forcefully. “ _Look_ at me.”

Naruto’s lower lip quivered as he raised his eyes to Sasuke’s.

“I hate words like ‘right’ and ‘wrong,’” Sasuke said. “They’re imprecise to the point of uselessness. But I can tell you that, from my point of view, you’ve done nothing, absolutely nothing, wrong. You were defending your children and your ex-wife. You didn’t fight back against this idiot when he took a swing at you. You’re not some out-of-control, violent freak of nature for having an emotional reaction to what is probably a very real threat to your family.”

“I’m not supposed to. I’m supposed to be better,” Naruto whispered weakly. “This isn’t how I’m supposed to handle things.”

Sasuke scoffed. “You’ll discover that ‘supposed’ and ‘should’ are about as useful as ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ in my lexicon, dobe.” He tenderly stroked Naruto’s cheeks with the pads of his thumb. “What’s important, now, is that you _did_ go after this guy, and we…” he narrowed his eyes at Naruto’s stricken expression. “ _Yes_ , Naruto, _we_ have to ascertain that this threat is neutralized or contained. I will not abide someone hurting you.”

Sasuke’s last words surprised even himself; Naruto was completely slack-jawed. Sasuke knew that, for both their sake, he had to cut the conversation short. They would discuss practicalities later. Right now, neither he nor Naruto needed to think overmuch about the words Sasuke had just spoken.

He did not release Naruto’s face as he leaned in to place a soft, affectionate kiss against his pale lips. Naruto needed Sasuke in this moment; Sasuke needed, desperately needed, the Naruto he…

The Naruto with which he was most familiar. His dandelion, his ray of sunshine, his loud, obnoxious, full-bodied, colorful _lover…_ Sasuke needed _that_ Naruto, right now, because he didn’t have the traction to keep both of them from sinking into the nightmarish worlds of their inner hellscapes.

As Naruto’s lips fluttered against his, as Naruto groaned contentedly into their kiss, Sasuke pushed aside the troublesome _word_ that had almost uttered itself in his head. It was a sweet kiss, the kind of kiss you give someone with whom you must be gentle. He cautiously traced over Naruto’s lower lip with the tip of his tongue.

Naruto responded in kind, and they could have been two teenage boys experiencing their very first kiss. They tenderly brought their lips and tongues together, mutually aware of something delicate and priceless between them.

Sasuke brought his hands to the back of Naruto’s neck. He gently caressed the skin at his nape, then massaged the tight muscles. Naruto whimpered against his mouth. Sasuke delicately prodded Naruto’s mouth open with his tongue, Naruto meeting the intrusion with his own. Their tongues lazily explored each other as Sasuke moved one hand so that he could caress Naruto’s cheeks.

Sasuke pecked Naruto on the lips and pulled away. He breathed against Naruto’s ear, taking in the woodsy scent of his shampoo, then kissed it chastely. Naruto shuddered against him as he kissed behind his ear, as well, and when Sasuke softly sucked his earlobe between his lips, he hissed.

Sasuke took Naruto’s swollen right hand in his and brought it to his lips, placing a kiss upon each knuckle before opening it and kissing the center of his palm. Naruto’s other hand caressed his waist and his lower back. The growing warmth between them was healing something deep within Sasuke; he hoped that Naruto felt it, as well.

He continued to lavish kisses upon Naruto’s hand. He swallowed back a groan of satisfaction when his lips brushed against the smooth, unexpectedly soft skin under his wrist. He licked carefully at this new discovery, earning another whimper from the blond in his arms. He kissed and licked his way up to the inside of Naruto’s elbow. This was a new territory of pleasure, and Sasuke was loving the effects his explorations were having both upon himself and Naruto. This was not a lewd, feverish bid for pleasure, it was a tender quest for knowledge about the person he… about the person he wanted more than he had ever wanted anything.

“Sasu… Sasuke...” Naruto stammered.

Sasuke brought their lips together again as their hands roamed slowly and deliberately over each other’s bodies. He savored the faintly salty, somewhat spicy taste of Naruto’s mouth as their tongues pushed against each other. Once again, he cradled the nape of Naruto’s neck in his hands.

It took a moment for the dampness against his cheeks to register with his mind. He slowly opened his eyes and discovered that tears were now streaming out of Naruto’s tightly shut eyes. He took Naruto’s face in his hands and kissed his cheeks, tasting the salt of his tears as he did so. He kissed and kissed and kissed, eager to erase the evidence of Naruto’s sadness from his beautiful face. He kissed his cheeks, his eyelids, the bridge of his nose, his forehead, his jaw.

He pressed his lips against Naruto’s neck just below his jawline. He looked up at Naruto’s face. His eyes were still tightly shut. He shuddered against Sasuke; his breath came in hiccoughs and starts, as if he were trying not to sob. Sasuke wrapped is arms tightly around his waist and pulled him closer, never stopping the campaign of kisses against his throat.

Naruto’s breath caught when Sasuke’s lips pressed against the tender skin where his shoulder met his neck. Sasuke pulled his shirt aside and kissed the flesh hidden beneath it, where the tails of Naruto’s kitsune began peaking out.

“Sasuke...”

“Hm?” Sasuke murmured against Naruto’s skin.

“We have to eat. You have to open the store.”

Sasuke said nothing. He lifted Naruto’s shirt up and pressed his lips against the kitsune tattoo, hoping Naruto understood what he was trying to tell him without words. He thrust his tongue against the ink and laved the angry symbol slowly. Naruto was now holding his breath; the staccato rhythm of his heart thrummed under Sasuke’s tongue.

“Mhm, Sasuke… we… we need to stop…”

Sasuke paused to look into Naruto’s eyes. “We aren’t stopping,” he said quietly. He tugged Naruto’s tee shirt up, forcing him to lift his arms so Sasuke could pull the garment over his head.

“You… ah…” Naruto breathed in sharply as Sasuke ran his tongue over his nipple. “You have to eat… you have to… store…”

“Hn.” Sasuke smiled at the mindless gibberish coming out of Naruto’s mouth.

To this point, his kisses had been gentle and exploratory; there was nothing but carnal intent, though, in the trail his lips and tongue made up Naruto’s chest and neck.

When his face was once more even with Naruto’s, he plundered the other man’s mouth with his tongue.

Naruto’s eyes were open, glassy and blown wide when Sasuke pulled back.

“Naruto.” Sasuke took him by the shoulders and looked at him eye-to-eye. “This time is about you. I don’t want to hear anything….” he bit his earlobe.

“About eating…” he sucked at his neck.

“Or…” he sucked at his lower lip.

“The store…” he pulled Naruto against him, feeling his erection straining against his thigh.

He kissed him once more upon the lips to make his point. “Do you understand?” he asked. One hand cupped Naruto’s cheek. The other rested just above the curve of his bottom.

Naruto nodded dumbly.

“Come here,” Sasuke commanded. He took Naruto by the hand and pulled him out of the tiny space where they usually ate, leading him beyond the noren to the tatami training room.

“Sasuke…” Naruto murmured, surprised.

Sasuke hated malingering, and he’d felt that he had done more than his fair share of exactly that lately. Summer was truly in gear, and tourists were making their way into Konoha on their way to and from the beach side communities. This would be the store’s busiest season. But Sasuke also felt that Naruto had more of a claim on his time than did random vacationers, and Naruto needed _something_ right now. Maybe it was companionship. Maybe it was intimacy. Maybe it was just sitting in silence with another person. Whatever it was he needed, Sasuke could not allow him to walk out and stumble about in the bubble of his dark thoughts.

_Maybe I need this just as much._

Sasuke shoved the thought aside as he and Naruto embraced.

“Sasuke?” Naruto asked hesitatingly.

Sasuke looked up at him in question.

“Can I please take your shirt off?”

“Hn.” Sasuke bit back a chuckle. How unlike Naruto; he usually made quick work of undressing Sasuke these days.

Sasuke noticed that his hands trembled as he fumbled with the buttons. “Usuratonkachi. Here.” He slapped Naruto’s hands away and quickly unbuttoned enough of his shirt to pull it over his head.

To his relief, Naruto’s usual lopsided smile began to take shape as Sasuke divested himself of his undergarment. When he was done, he pulled Naruto close to him again. His nipples stiffened as the bare skin of their chests came into contact.

“Ahh, Sasuke…” Naruto moaned.

Sasuke loved the way Naruto’s body felt against his, so firm and so masculine. He allowed his hands to float over the tan skin that featured so prominently in Sasuke’s erotic dreams. He took Naruto’s hands in his own and lifted, spreading his arms out and pressing them to the wall crucifixion style.

Trusting Naruto to maintain the position, Sasuke ran his hands over the hard biceps and the toned shoulders. Naruto closed his eyes and tilted his head back as Sasuke’s fingers explored his pecs and abs. Sasuke committed the feeling of Naruto’s skin to heart.

With his index fingers, he traced the ridge of Naruto’s hipbones, just visible above his waistband. He gripped his hips, then, and went back to work with his mouth, going over the skin he had just explored with his hands.

He did not want to mark Naruto, now. He didn’t want to possess him; he wanted to make it clear to Naruto that he was cared for and valued. His kisses were reverent and careful, as were his hands. Using just his fingertip, he traced the swirl of Naruto’s seal as he kissed under his arm. Naruto made strangled little noises of pleasure.

He nuzzled into Naruto’s neck as his fingers continued their journey over the enticing planes of Naruto’s belly and chest. Careful not to actually touch the sensitive pink buds, he circled the outer edge of Naruto’s areolas. He allowed himself to smirk at the immediate tension of Naruto’s muscles. He licked and kissed over Naruto’s collarbone and brought his thumbs over the hardened nipples.

Naruto hissed and cursed _sotto voce_ as Sasuke teased with his fingers and lips. Sasuke chuckled and nuzzled against his cheek, relishing the slightly abrasive sensation of stubble. Everything about Naruto intoxicated him.

When Naruto lowered his arms and twined his fingers through Sasuke’s hair, he didn’t protest. He wanted nothing more than to be close to Naruto right now, as close as two humans could possibly be.

Their lips met again; their kiss this time was poignant and rich with the words that neither one could form. There was so much Sasuke needed to tell Naruto, but he couldn’t find the words, much less form them with his voice; all of his desire, all of his concern, all of his respect for the man in his embrace was communicated in this one kiss.

Naruto’s hands traveled down Sasuke’s back. He cupped his ass firmly as they kissed.

Sasuke pulled back. He rested his forehead against Naruto’s as he caught his breath and tried to organize his thoughts. He didn’t know how to ask for what he wanted.

“Naruto.” His voice came out hoarsely, as if he were coming out of an exceptionally long sleep.

Naruto cupped his chin, stroking his jaw with the pad of his thumb. “Hm, Sasuke?”

“I…”

He took a deep breath and rummaged through his mind for the right words.

“Do you…” he took a deep breath. “I want to. I want you.”

Naruto kissed his nose and smiled. “I want you, too, Sasuke,” he said quietly.

Sasuke reached for Naruto’s pants with shaking hands. Naruto grabbed his wrists.

“Not this way, Sasuke,” he said softly.

Sasuke looked up at him.

“Are you prepared? I mean…” Naruto’s skin flushed. He scratched his head. “Do you have the things we need?”

Sasuke groaned internally. He buried his face against Naruto’s shoulder, frustrated and angry with himself.

Naruto’s hands stroked over his back gently.

“Sasuke, I want you more than anyone I have ever met,” Naruto said. “And I want to do everything with you. But I don’t want it badly enough to risk hurting you. Not ever, not even once. Especially our first time.”

“I get it, dobe,” Sasuke snapped.

Naruto laughed. “I’m frustrated, too. But we’ll get there.”

Sasuke pulled back to face Naruto. “We’re going to get somewhere _now,_ ” he growled.

Naruto’s eyes widened. Sasuke leaned in, pinning him against the wall with his body. The kiss he laid on Naruto’s lips this time was more of an attack. His cock twitched, slightly uncomfortable in the confines of his pants.

The strangled sound Naruto made was half moan, half chuckle. Sasuke felt the other man’s erection against his stomach as he thrust his tongue into his mouth aggressively.

He made his way down Naruto’s body with his lips and hands. He licked a pert, pink nipple before sucking it into his mouth. As he teased Naruto’s nipples, alternating between the two, his fingers stroked Naruto’s erection through the fabric of his pants.

Between the lips eliciting pleasure from his nipples and the fingers running along the underside of his cock, Naruto went from half-hard to fully erect. His breathing became faster and heavier as Sasuke stroked and sucked. Sasuke released Naruto’s nipple from his lips and knelt. He rubbed his face against the hard flesh straining against Naruto’s pants. Naruto moaned and thrust his hips forward, eager for more contact.

Sasuke laughed and leaned back. He pulled Naruto’s pants down; he took in the way Naruto’s white briefs tented tightly over his erection, as well as the damp, slightly transparent spot over the tip. No matter how many times he went down on Naruto, seeing him so eager, so hard and wet for him, always thrilled Sasuke to his core. Taking Naruto’s pants off was like opening a present every single time.

Sasuke took his time nuzzling into Naruto’s inner thigh, his cock hard against his cheek. Naruto’s scent was unmistakably masculine, and unmistakably aroused. His own cock throbbed as he sucked and nipped at the tender flesh of Naruto’s thigh.

He needed more, though, and after his teasing had resulted in a few high-pitched whines, he sucked at the head of Naruto’s dick through his briefs. He stifled a moan as Naruto grunted and twisted against his face.

He slurped obscenely, tasting the pre-cum through the fabric as Naruto writhed in pained expectation.

“Sasuke,” Naruto sighed. “Please…”

“Please what, Naruto?” Sasuke asked.

“Please can I take off my underwear?” Naruto growled. He glared at Sasuke in frustration.

“I don’t know, can you?” Sasuke goaded.

Naruto closed his eyes and wrinkled his nose. “Goddamn, Sasuke. Please.”

Sasuke laughed at this, even though he was delaying his own gratification with his childish antics.

“Take them off, if you want to take them off,” Sasuke scolded.

Naruto huffed in exasperation, but he bent and lowered his briefs to his ankles and tossed them aside. Sasuke smirked up at him.

“Is that better, Naruto?” he needled.

“Sasukeeee…” Naruto whined. “Please. I am so hard for you.”

As obvious as the statement was, hearing Naruto say it plainly aroused Sasuke enormously.

He leaned closer, close enough to breathe in the scent of Naruto’s arousal without touching him. “Would you like me to do something about that?” he asked. Naruto bit his lip and arched up as Sasuke’s breath ghosted over his cock. He nodded impatiently.

“What would you like me to do, Naruto?” Sasuke asked, his voice low and sultry.

“Could you please, please touch me or… or… something,” he murmured weakly.

“Something like…” Sasuke wrapped his hand around the base of Naruto’s cock and thumbed over the slit, where pre-cum streamed steadily, “this?”

“Yes!” Naruto moaned.

“Or…” Sasuke licked the head, tonguing the opening and gathering the moisture into his mouth. “…This?”

“Mhm… God, Sasuke… your mouth…”

Sasuke worked his hand firmly. He meanwhile sucked the tip of Naruto’s cock while swirling his tongue.

“Fuck, Sasuke!” Naruto cried.

Sasuke pulled back, releasing Naruto’s cock with a lewd, wet plop. He looked up at Naruto, who stared down at him intently, and rubbed it against his cheek. He felt the trail of fluid that it left over his skin. Naruto’s eyes widened and his lips parted as he stared down at Sasuke’s lascivious exhibition. Sasuke rubbed Naruto’s dick over his lips, then across his other cheek.

Naruto’s hands made fists in his hair. Sasuke licked at his cock as he rubbed it over his lips. He knew Naruto was resisting an urge to force himself into Sasuke’s mouth; the knowledge went straight to his dick. There would be time for Naruto to learn how much he loved submitting to his more forceful instincts—later. Not today, when Naruto was reeling and unsure of himself, not when he had convinced himself that he was nothing short of a demon.

He cupped Naruto’s balls and took his cock into his mouth. He maintained a grip at the base, and he worked his hands and lips together to make Naruto shudder. He sucked hard, pulling away with the downward stroke of his hand, then slamming forward with the upward stroke.

Naruto now panted and thrust rhythmically in time with Sasuke’s attentions.

“Goddamn, Sasuke. It feels so, so good,” he murmured.

Sasuke hummed in acknowledgment. It felt good to him, too. Naruto’s cock, he was certain, was a work of art: long, perfectly shaped, in Sasuke’s opinion, girthy at the base, tapering symmetrically towards the head, beautifully pink when fully aroused. He swirled his tongue against the frenulum in appreciation.

Naruto’s thighs shook as Sasuke sucked harder and faster. When he began unconsciously thrusting with more force, Sasuke released his grip on the base and grabbed Naruto’s ass. He sucked Naruto’s entire length into his mouth, gagging a bit when it hit the back of his throat. Naruto stopped thrusting for a moment as Sasuke adjusted to swallowing him down.

Sasuke’s eyes watered. Saliva dripped around Naruto’s cock and out of the corners of Sasuke’s lips. His nose was buried in Naruto’s golden curls; he focused carefully on breathing as he began to rock back and forth, sucking and licking up Naruto’s cock before slamming his face back down again.

He disregarded the slight soreness when Naruto’s cock rammed into the back of his throat again and again. He gripped Naruto’s ass firmly and looked up, letting Naruto know that he could move freely.

Naruto stared at him in amazement. He ran his thumb over Sasuke’s cheek, wiping away the tears that streamed from his eyes.

“Fuck, baby… Sasuke, fuck…” Naruto panted. “You’re so fucking beautiful.”

Sasuke’s heart raced at the praise. He sped up his movements as Naruto did, encouraging him to fuck his face with impunity.

Naruto became more and more undone. He panted and cursed. He pulled Sasuke’s hair and snapped his hips forward more sharply with each thrust.

“Ahh, Sasuke… so fucking… mmm…”

Sasuke increased the pace of his movements. He struggled to breathe as the thrusts became more and more violent and insistent.

“Sasuke… shit…”

When he felt the tension of Naruto’s impending climax, he gripped his cock once more and stroked hard and fast, still sucking the head.

“Fuck!” Naruto cried.

Sasuke released him from his lips as he came, but maintained the work of his hand. He tilted his head back and opened his mouth as Naruto shot off; ribbon after ribbon of Naruto’s semen sprayed over Sasuke’s lips and face. He raised his eyes to Naruto’s face as he licked his lips. Naruto beamed down at him as if seeing his lover’s face painted with tears and slobber and jizz was the most beautiful sight in the world.

“God… Sasuke…” Naruto gasped as he finished, then slid down the wall.

Sasuke smiled as Naruto pulled them close. He knew he was a debauched mess; he wanted Naruto to see him that way, to understand that he trusted him and welcomed everything they could do together.

“Fucking hell,” Naruto muttered as he pulled Sasuke down to lie against him on the floor. “Sasuke… damn.”

Sasuke smiled as Naruto tightened his arms around his waist.

“I made such a mess of your beautiful face,” Naruto lamented.

“Didn’t seem you minded,” Sasuke said dryly.

“I didn’t… but I need to clean you off and I can’t even stand up.”

“Hn.”

They lay, spooned against each other on the floor, long enough for both of them to drift into a very light sleep. This was a very odd sort of contentment, Sasuke reflected as he nodded off, to be so happy to lie, soiled and disarrayed, on the floor after allowing one’s face to be fucked. It was a contentment he’d take, though, because tasting and feeling and seeing Naruto as he came, to see the lust in his eyes focused upon him and him alone, got Sasuke high in a way he doubted drugs could do.

He startled awake when Naruto knelt beside him, a paper napkin in one hand and a glass of water in the other.

He gazed at Naruto as he gently cleaned his face. His expression was so soft and priceless; Sasuke felt something break inside of himself, something that he had never known needed breaking.

“I’m sorry I made such a mess of you,” Naruto murmured. He handed Sasuke the water.

“Hn. Don’t apologize for stupid things, idiot.”

Naruto smiled. “A lot of people have called me an idiot in my life,” he said. “But you’re the first one who makes it sound sweet.”

Sasuke grunted and looked away.

“Aww, don’t be embarrassed,” Naruto said with a laugh. “If you called me anything remotely sweet, I’d die of shock. I kinda like being your idiot.”

Sasuke snapped his head up sharply.

His idiot. _His_ idiot.

His.

_Mine._

Warmth spread through Sasuke’s chest at the thought of Naruto being his, of him belonging, in kind, to Naruto.

“You need to eat and drink, Sasuke,” Naruto prodded. Sasuke sat up reluctantly and took the food Naruto proffered.

He was immediately grateful. He recognized his hunger only as he began to eat. His hands were beginning to shake. He and Naruto ate in near silence.

“Are you seriously not going to open back up right now?” Naruto asked incredulously when Sasuke didn’t bother to put his shirt back on or flip on the lights when they finished.

Sasuke shook his head. “More important things to do.”

Naruto blushed and grinned; the expression made him look so young and innocent that it was almost painful.

“Well… ya know… I kinda have some important things to do, too,” Naruto said, attempting to look coy but succeeding only in appearing naive. It was sinfully endearing.

Sasuke smirked. “Oh, is that so?” he asked. Naruto nodded. “What kind of important things?”

Naruto crawled over to him. “The kind of things that you are not appropriately dressed for.”

Sasuke fought the urge to laugh at Naruto’s attempts at seduction. “So you’re saying I should put my shirt back on?”

Naruto scoffed. “Definitely not. In fact, I believe you are overdressed.” He sat up on his knees and leaned in to kiss Sasuke sloppily.

Naruto’s hands wound around Sasuke’s waist. They made out lazily, basking in each other’s nearness. Naruto’s hands glided over Sasuke’s body, clearly appreciating the feeling of his skin and muscles, as their tongues probed and danced over each other.

Fingers sought out Sasuke’s nipples, swiping over them experimentally. They immediately hardened, and Sasuke caught his breath.

Naruto smiled against Sasuke’s lips just before pulling his lower lip between his teeth to nip and suck. He kissed along his jawline to his ear, where he traced the outer shell with the tip of his tongue. His fingers still swirled around Sasuke’s nipples maddeningly.

Sasuke melted into the sensations Naruto’s lips and fingers were giving him. Soft, moist kisses fell over his neck and throat, along with tantalizing bites that Sasuke knew would leave marks. The teasing fingers abandoned his nipples; Naruto was now framing his waist with his hands, then sliding them over his hips.

Sasuke closed his eyes and arched his back when Naruto swept his tongue over one nipple, then the other.

“Mmm,” he moaned when Naruto breathed over the same sensitive buds he had just teased with his tongue. He struggled against the sudden urge to rock his hips.

Fingers slipped beneath his waistband, barely fluttering over Sasuke’s half-hard cock. Naruto laved his nipples generously before sucking, and Sasuke bit his lip to keep from calling out. He mapped Sasuke’s torso with his teeth and lips as his fingers continued to tease his rapidly hardening length.

Naruto’s tongue probed his navel before leaving a wet trail over the sparse hairs that disappeared into Sasuke’s pants. He couldn’t contain the moan that slipped from his mouth, nor the impatient rock of his hips.

Naruto had the nerve to laugh at him.

“I told you that you were overdressed,” he said. Sasuke shot him an impatient glare.

“Do something about it, then, dobe,” he jabbed.

Naruto tsked. “You are so impatient, Sasuke.”

Sasuke tweaked his nipple.

“Ow, bastard!” Naruto cried out. Sasuke could see that the action aroused him, though.

Naruto kissed him heatedly, tugging at his hair. “Just for that,” he warned Sasuke when he pulled back, “I ought to tease you the way you teased me.”

Sasuke smirked at him. “Teasing isn’t your style, baka. You’re too excited.”

Naruto narrowed his eyes, but grinned. “Maybe we should see about that. Maybe I should start exercising some _patience_ and _restraint_ , now that you mention it,” he threatened. Sasuke’s cock throbbed in response; Naruto recognized the reaction right away. “Looks like I’m not the only one who’s excited,” he said with a chuckle.

Once again, Naruto’s lips blazed a trail down Sasuke’s neck, chest, and stomach. When he reached the waistband of his pants, his tongue darted out and explored just beneath the fabric—just enough to make Sasuke curse.

“Now who needs to learn some patience and restraint,” Naruto said, humor coloring his words. His face and neck were flushed.

As Sasuke had done to him, Naruto licked and nuzzled against his erection over his pants.

“You smell so fucking good, Sasuke,” Naruto said hoarsely, his lips against Sasuke’s inner thigh.

“Naruto, dammit…” Sasuke groaned. There was no way to disguise the affect Naruto’s praise had on his body.

“Don’t worry. I’m really _not_ patient enough to tease you like you teased me,” Naruto responded, looking up at Sasuke fondly. He worked the buttons and zipper swiftly and pulled down the woolen trousers along with the briefs beneath them. Sasuke’s erection sprung free. Naruto sucked his breath in sharply.

“Fuck. Your cock is so fucking perfect, Sasuke.” He laid Sasuke back and spread his leg, kneeling between them.

Sasuke’s skin pebbled under Naruto’s gaze; he breathed raggedly as the blue eyes swept over his naked form. He was now fully erect and his cock was soaking itself in response to Naruto’s appreciative scrutiny.

Naruto buried his face in Sasuke’s thigh, breathing him in. “You look good enough to eat,” he murmured. “In fact, I think I’ll do just that.”

“Ahh. Naruto…” Sasuke breathed.

“Would you like that, Sasuke?” Naruto asked. “Would you like me to suck your cock and eat you whole?”

Sasuke’s hips flexed and he moaned.

Naruto took his length in his hand and kissed the head sweetly. “You’re so wet, Sasuke. Is that for me?”

“Mmm, Naruto…”

Naruto swept his tongue over the tip, teasing the slit just slightly. “You taste good, too. Just exactly right.”

He licked and sucked at the head of Sasuke’s dick and gripped him firmly.

Finally, finally, Naruto took Sasuke’s entire length into his mouth and sucked. Sasuke’s breath hitched as Naruto swallowed him down; his throat was insanely tight and slick. It was hard to resist fucking into the warmth with abandon.

Naruto moved up and down, hollowing his cheeks. Sasuke groaned and tensed, making every effort to restrain himself. His thighs quivered with the effort.

All too soon, Naruto pulled away, a trail of saliva stretching between Sasuke’s dick and his lips.

“There’s so much of you I want to taste. You’re so, so fucking pretty, baby,” he said hoarsely.

He gripped Sasuke’s cock once again and dove down, burying his face against his scrotum. He licked and sucked the sensitive balls as he stroked Sasuke’s cock expertly.

 _We’re getting pretty good at this,_ Sasuke thought, somewhat stupidly.

The pleasure soon became too much; Sasuke pulled at his hair. “Ngh, Naruto… too..” he huffed.

Naruto drew away and returned his attentions to Sasuke’s throbbing cock, circling the head with his tongue as he masturbated him with decisive rhythm.

“Aah, Naru…” Through his heavy eyelids, he gazed down at the blue-eyed man between his legs. Naruto looked up at him as he licked and slurped; his eyes were dilated and glazed over with lust. Something like possessiveness, something like tenderness, something like… like… something like Sasuke had never expected to feel in his life took hold of Sasuke’s mind. He wanted to pull Naruto into him, and kiss him silly, and cry all at the same time. He bit the inside of his cheek at the bizarre emotion.

He closed his eye and arched into the pleasure Naruto was giving him.

But Naruto was _rudely_ taking the warmth of his mouth away from him again. Sasuke groaned in frustration. Naruto’s hand felt almost unbearably good, but he missed the silken warmth of his mouth.

Wet kisses and soft nibbles sent waves of arousal through his upper thigh; Naruto’s mouth continued seeking, though, and soon, his tongue was pressed against Sasuke’s perineum, swirling and prodding.

“Aah…” Sasuke breathed.

Naruto pushed his legs wider apart as he tongued Sasuke’s sensitized skin. He moaned when Naruto circled his tight entrance; he clasped his hands in Naruto’s unruly blond hair.

“Na… Naru…” he stammered. “You don’t…”

Naruto looked up at him and smiled. “Shut up, idiot. I know I don’t have to.”

Sasuke laughed at the way Naruto turned his own words back on him. But he didn’t laugh long. Naruto sucked and licked at his hole as if Sasuke were a five-course meal, never losing the steady rhythm of his hand on Sasuke’s dick.

Sasuke’s eyes rolled back as Naruto licked and nipped at the outer edges. He could no longer control the movement of his hips, which shot upward every time Naruto’s tongue slid over him. When he tentatively pushed his tongue inside of him, his vision began to blur.

“Naruto! Ngh,” he called out. Naruto took that as a sign to feast. His tongue went to work, licking Sasuke out and making him clench in response.

While he shamelessly plunged his tongue inside of Sasuke again and again, Naruto scraped his teeth very lightly over the puckered outer edges. Any control Sasuke might have had was by that time completely forfeit; the wet intrusion of Naruto’s tongue and the stimulation of his teeth made Sasuke writhe and cry out wantonly.

Naruto made love to his ass with his tongue, slurping and thrusting and sucking enthusiastically. Sasuke heard his own cries distantly, as if he were coming out of his own body. All he was really aware of were the waves of pleasure emanating from being eaten and jerked off at once.

“Aah! Ngh! Naru… to… Oh, fuck… fu...” He called out as he felt his climax building. Naruto stroked and licked faster in response.

When everything began to go black, Naruto put his mouth back over his cock and swallowed down the hot liquid. He sucked until Sasuke couldn’t bear any more stimulation and made him stop by tugging on his hair.

His body shuddered violently from his release. He struggled to catch his breath. Naruto sat up and looked him over, a proud gleam in his eye. “You’re so pretty this way,” he murmured. “Perfect enough to paint.”

Sasuke ignored the content of his words; what mattered was that Naruto had just destroyed his mind and was now caressing it with praise.

Naruto stood and walked out as Sasuke came down. He had two bottles of water when he came back and handed one to Sasuke, who received it gratefully. He had screamed so shrilly with his orgasm that his throat was raw. When their thirst was sated, Naruto lay beside him and wrapped his arms around him. Sasuke instinctively turned to face Naruto and curled into his warmth.

When Sasuke awoke, it was approaching evening. His nightmares had robbed his sleep of any restorative value the previous night, but the mind-shattering orgasm Naruto had given him had allowed him to drift off comfortably. Naruto, also, had dozed off. Sasuke looked at him as he slept. He looked peaceful and content. The color had come back into his face. Sasuke threaded his fingers through Naruto’s messy blond hair carefully. He didn’t want to see Naruto the way he had been—full of self-doubt and self-recrimination—ever again.

The cogs in Sasuke’s mind began to turn once more as he mulled over Naruto’s encounters with his ex-wife’s suitor. While he was glad to see that the damage was limited to Naruto’s dominant hand this time, he was not sure what else the man might be capable of doing. He had seen countless instances where a humiliated antagonist went home to lick his wounds and come up with a plan for ambush; he would not tolerate anyone hurting Naruto or making him doubt himself.

He also needed to ensure that Naruto’s ex wife and children were secure. Sasuke didn’t trust issues like this to the police; their forte was arresting criminals, not preventing crime, and as a rule, they didn’t take disputes of this nature very seriously.

He stood up and began to dress himself as he pondered who to call and what sort of security would need to be purchased.

“Huh?’

Naruto’s voice made Sasuke jump. He looked around to see him sitting upright, confused and disheveled.

“Finally woke up, usuratonkachi,” Sasuke said. He ruffled Naruto’s hair, which was now standing on end.

“Shit. I really needed that nap,” Naruto said. He stretched and yawned.

“You’re going to be staying with me tonight,” Sasuke informed him.

“What?” Naruto asked. “Why?”

“We aren’t going to wait for this person to come at you again, Naruto. You’re going to come home with me for at least tonight and we’re going to work out a plan to make sure that you and your ex-wife are safe from any further provocations.”

“I don’t mind staying with you, Sasuke,” Naruto said. “Like, at all. But I think you’re overestimating Kiba. I don’t think he’ll try anything again.”

 _Kiba_. Sasuke made a mental note of the name. He could find this man in town the size of Konoha with only his first name to go off of.

“It doesn’t matter what you think, dobe,” Sasuke said with finality. “We’ll drive by your apartment and get whatever you need. Then, we’ll take a ride by your ex-wife’s place to see what kind of security she needs and to make sure he isn’t lurking. And then, we’re going to go out to dinner. We can discuss how we’re going to proceed then.”

Naruto looked at him, agog. “Sasuke, I mean… I don’t think…”

Sasuke looked at him darkly. “I already told you. It doesn’t matter what you think. Let’s get out of here and go get your things.”

His favorite, lopsided smile spread over Naruto’s face.

“Ok, Queen Sasuke, it’s a date.”

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

“Hn.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whyyy was this chapter so hard to write? I have actually been writing daily on this story; it's just that I don't always write chapters in order. Next chapter: Sasuke and Naruto and kids and ex wives!
> 
> Ooh, ooh--I haz a Tumblr! Come and yell at me. It's where I intend to post my headcanons, fandom-centric thoughts, and flesh out characterization (and post a lot of pics of SNS/NSN, Uchihas in general).   
> https://uchihabride.tumblr.com/


	20. I Got the Poison, You Got the Remedy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sasuke meets Hinata. Naruto gets an impromptu cooking lesson, and Sasuke reflects.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: VIOLENCE   
> You'll have warning. It won't sneak up on you.

Naruto’s apartment was, to Sasuke’s shock, surprisingly tidy. You could see traces of his thoughtless nature—a jacket over the back of a bar stool, a stack of papers on the breakfast bar—but there were no dishes in the sink, no empty cartons lying about. It was also sparsely furnished. The only furniture in the place, as far as Sasuke could see, were the bar stools and a console for a TV. Naruto had a scroll for Tsukuyomi, the Japanese god of the moon, hanging on his wall; Sasuke wondered if the same artist and calligraphist had painted his Amaterasu scroll. It seemed as if they made a matching set.

 

Naruto shuffled off to his bedroom to gather some clothes and toiletries. His mood had shifted again once they’d arrived at the apartment. His brow had furrowed, his lips pursed, and he looked pallid again. While he wasn’t as agitated as he’d been when he’d come to Tomoe for lunch that day, neither was he his usual self. The shift ignited the cold rage inside of Sasuke. He fought back the urge to sprint from the apartment and track down this Kiba person and destroy him for what he had done to Naruto.

 

Sasuke hadn’t felt this kind of rage in years; he’d not had anyone he cared for threatened so obviously in a long time. It was not just the threat of physical violence that enraged him, but the psychological havoc it seemed to be wreaking on Naruto.

 

Although he maintained his calm externally, internally his brain planned and prioritized. He had a duty to Naruto. He couldn’t abandon him to his thoughts just to seek out Kiba and sate his rage, but he also had a duty to ensure that Naruto and the people he cared for would not be harmed or harassed anymore.

 

When Naruto emerged from his room with a small bag, he smiled dimly at Sasuke. Sasuke forced his mind back to Naruto and the present moment, giving him a small, soft kiss and laying his hands over his shoulders.

 

“Have you told your ex that we are coming over?” he asked.

 

“I texted her, but I didn’t get an answer. It’s not that far away, if you want to stop by still.” Naruto looked away at this. He clearly was not comfortable with the topic.

 

“We’ll go. If she’s not there, I can at least get an idea of what sorts of cameras and alarm systems are needed. We do need to speak to her soon, though.” Sasuke’s tone was clinical and emotionless.

 

Naruto nodded, not exactly in agreement, Sasuke mused, but at least in understanding.

 

* * *

 

Sasuke followed Naruto up the walk to a pleasant little two-storey home. Well-tended flower beds and shrubs lined the walk and the front of the house. Naruto knocked and waited. Sasuke heard a child laughing and the patter of footsteps behind the door.

“Dad?” Naruto’s look-alike son answered the door, shocked to see who was there. “Mr… Sarada? I mean. Uh. Mr. Uchiha. Hi.”

Sasuke nodded curtly at the blue-eyed boy.

“Bolt, is your mom home?” Naruto asked quietly.

The child nodded. “She’s making dinner. Uh. Come in, I guess.”

Sasuke couldn’t see his face, but he noted the way Naruto’s shoulders tensed visibly at having to be invited into the house he’d once shared with his family. He supposed this was new for Naruto; Sasuke had always felt outside of his family, almost like an intruder or an imposition when he came to Sakura’s house. Even when it had supposedly been their marital home, in his mind, it had always been “Sakura’s house,” and he’d always approached it with the formality of a visitor. He felt a pang, and he couldn’t quite pinpoint whether it was a sympathy pain for Naruto or wistfulness for the family life he could have had at one point.

They were ushered into a well-kept home, leaving their shoes on a rack. The child Naruto had called “Bolt” led them to the kitchen, where the aroma of cooking rice and stir-fry drifted through the air. A petite woman with straight, black hair stood over the counter top. The small, black-haired girl Sasuke had previously met stood beside her on a stepladder.

The woman raised her head, giving a start upon noticing Naruto and a stranger standing in her kitchen.

“Naruto! Hi, is everything ok?” she asked, a line forming over her forehead.

“Hi, Hinata, yeah, everything is fine. This is Sasuke, by the way,” Naruto said, gesturing towards Sasuke, who remained behind him.

“Hello, Sasuke. It’s nice to meet you. Uh, would you guys like to stay for dinner?” she asked. “It’s simple tonight, just rice and vegetables, but we’ve made enough to accommodate.”

Sasuke studied her features. Her voice was soft and high-pitched, almost like a young girl’s; her face was delicate, her eyes large and innocent-looking. She seemed genuine in her invitation. It struck Sasuke as odd.

“Uh, it’s ok, Hinata. We needed to talk to you about something. Would you like us to come back later?” Naruto’s shoulders were still tense and stiff.

“Don’t be silly, Naruto. You’re both more than welcome. In fact, I’d been meaning to have you over for dinner before. Sasuke, please excuse me. I’m almost finished,” Hinata said.

“I help cook, Daddy!” the little girl exclaimed proudly. “I help Mommy!”

Sasuke recognized both Hinata and Naruto in her features. Her smile, though, was all Naruto, and he wondered what Naruto had been like at that age.

“I see that, sunflower,” Naruto answered. “You’re a good helper.”

“Yes, she is,” Hinata said fondly. The little girl beamed, her smile taking over her entire face the way Naruto’s did when he was really happy about something.

Sasuke cleared his throat. “Please pardon me, Hinata. We came over to discuss some security issues. Would you mind if Naruto or one of the children showed me around the perimeter of the house and the upstairs windows?”

Hinata frowned slightly. “I understand. I’d like to talk to you a little more about that, though, before you do. Himawari, sweetie, go play with your brother. You’ve helped Mommy a whole lot.”

Himawari pouted slightly, reminding Sasuke again of Naruto, but she climbed down from the step stool and ran out of the kitchen.

Hinata watched her round the corner, then turned her full attention on Naruto.

“Naruto?” she asked gently. “Could you tell me what’s going on?”

Naruto’s shoulder’s tensed even more. “It’s about Kiba,” he said. Sasuke could hear the anger creeping back into his voice.

Hinata closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “What do you know?” she asked.

“Boruto told me that he’d come over here three times to ask you out, even though you’d told him you weren’t interested,” Naruto said.

“That is true,” Hinata agreed. “I have to say, it was a surprise.”

“It upset Boruto,” Naruto said tightly.

“I was wondering,” she said. “He has a way of hearing things he’s not meant to hear.” She poured beaten egg over the sizzling vegetables and stirred. “I didn’t know it had upset him that badly, but I could tell something was bothering him.”

“He called me and told me about it,” Naruto said. “He was really angry.”

“I can’t say I’m happy with Kiba,” Hinata said as she wiped her hands. “But… I don’t think he’s really a threat, Naruto. We’ve both known him since we were small children. He used to be a good friend. He’s usually a nice person.”

Naruto sighed loudly. Sasuke could feel the frustration rolling over him. He shared it.

Naruto began to speak, but Sasuke cut him off. “A lot of people are nice,” he said flatly, “until they’re denied something that they think they deserve.”

Hinata looked at him with wide eyes.

“Did you know that he attacked Naruto physically?” Sasuke continued.

A small gasp escaped from Hinata. She brought her hands to her face. “I… I didn’t know that,” she whispered.

“He saw Naruto out with my ex-wife, talking about school issues, and drew the conclusion that the best way to defend your honor was to hit Naruto without warning,” Sasuke continued. The woman’s ignorance angered him. How dare she talk about what a “nice guy” Kiba was when he had done such a thing? Who was she to defend him over the father of her children?

“Naruto, I’m so sorry,” she said. “I had no idea. I… is that why… is that why your eye was bruised a while back?”

Naruto nodded.

“Boruto also now knows that I’m gay because of Kiba,” he said bitterly. “He overheard him telling you that he could give your children a “real man” as a father.”

Naruto hadn’t told Sasuke this part of the story. Sasuke’s ire grew.

Hinata’s large eyes widened even more as she processed what Naruto was saying. “Naruto… I’m so sorry. I never, ever meant for the kids to find out like that.”

“I know you didn’t, Hinata.” Naruto’s voice croaked. “I just don’t think he’s the same guy we used to know. Or, he’s the same guy, and we didn’t know this side of him. But I’m worried about you and the kids.”

Hinata nodded slowly. “I am not dating Kiba, Naruto,” she said.

Sasuke forced himself not to sneer. She was clearly missing the point.

“If you wanted to date him, Hinata, I’d have no right to tell you not to,” Naruto said, frustration tinging his words. “You’re free to see who you wanna see. It’s not my business, unless it somehow affects the kids, and I trust your judgment there. But I can’t have him harassing you, and the way it sounds, that is exactly what he’s been doing.”

“I see,” Hinata said. She mechanically lifted the vegetables out onto a platter. “Thank you, Naruto. That really… means a lot to me. Everything you said.”

“Would you like us to come over after dinner and talk more?” Sasuke asked. “It was not our intention to interrupt. I have some insights on security for you going forward.”

Hinata shook her head. “There’s no reason for you to leave. Stay and eat with us. We can talk when we’re done.”

Naruto looked at Sasuke questioningly. Sasuke inclined his head. It was Naruto’s decision. He didn’t want to be an interloper.

“That’s nice, Hinata. But are you sure it’s ok? You weren’t expecting us over,” Naruto said ruefully.

“I told you before, Naruto, don’t be silly. The fact that we’re divorced doesn’t mean you’re not still family.” She blushed and looked down after saying this, feeling, perhaps, that she’d said too much.

Naruto breathed in deeply. His shoulders sagged. “Thank you, Hinata. I really appreciate it.”

Sasuke wanted to touch him—if not in comfort, than in solidarity—but he realized how fragile the peace between newly divorced couples could be. He didn’t want to give either Hinata or Naruto any cause for discomfort.

“Naruto, could you kindly call the children to wash up and set the table?” she asked.

Sasuke found himself envious of her gentle tone and unassuming presence. This was a woman who knew how to nurture; in that way, she reminded him somewhat of his own mother. He had frequently wondered whether he could have learned how to be kinder, more patient, more demonstrative had she survived. It was no use considering the possibilities; the past was gone, and more likely than not, his father’s rigidity and stiff control would have dominated his life the way it had dominated Itachi’s.

Naruto walked out to call the children, and Sasuke was left with Hinata in the kitchen.

“I didn’t know about Kiba attacking Naruto,” she said to him. “I… I would never have defended him if I’d known that. It wasn’t right.”

“No,” Sasuke agreed, “it wasn’t.”

She looked mildly out-of-sorts. “I never believed he would do these kinds of things. I didn’t know Boruto overheard him talking about Naruto, either.”

“Hn.”

She looked at him directly. “Are you… are you and Naruto… I mean, is he your friend?” she asked nervously.

“Yes,” he said simply.

She smiled sadly. “I’m… I’m glad. I’m happy that Naruto has a friend who’s concerned about him.”

She stared at Sasuke somewhat awkwardly, her cheeks red. He could understand why Naruto had felt such a drive to protect this woman; while she didn’t affect Sasuke in such a way, he knew that Naruto’s sense of justice and his impulse to defend innocence would have easily responded to the large, pale eyes that stared at him.

“Sasuke...” she started.

He looked at her, waiting for her to finish.

“Naruto is a good person. He’s a… a… a really kind person,” she said finally, stammering slightly. She looked as if she wanted to say more, but the voices of Naruto and the children could be heard nearby. Sasuke wondered what she was actually trying to communicate.

 

While dinner wasn’t particularly comfortable, neither was it extraordinarily awkward; Sasuke had expected it to be the latter. Hinata’s ex-husband and new… lover… had just come over, unannounced, right at dinner time. Hinata’s natural grace, though, as well as Naruto’s warmth, had turned a potentially tense experience into something tolerable. Naruto listened raptly to the children’s accounts of their days and encouraged Hinata in pursuing a new job she was excited about.

Naruto’s largeness of heart stunned Sasuke. For a man who still ached over his separation from his children and the way his marriage had ended, he refused to be bitter. How he had kept that generosity of spirit after a life filled with privation and isolation, Sasuke could only guess.

But then, Sasuke knew, he didn’t have to guess. As much as Naruto hated his dark, angry side, it had probably helped him to survive in many cases. The greater mystery, in Sasuke’s mind, was how the darkness and anger did not take him over.

When dinner was over, Hinata sent the children to watch a movie so that the adults could speak freely.

“I’ve brought a small peephole camera for you to use right away,” Sasuke said immediately. “Although you should have another camera, at least one other, installed. The peephole camera will allow you to see who is at the door before answering, and it will also allow you to use your smartphone to view in real-time. It’s small and unobtrusive.”

He handed the camera over to Hinata so she could look it over.

“I will install it tonight and show you how to use your phone with it,” he told her.

“Sasuke, please pardon me,” Hinata ventured timidly, “but, but, how do you know? I m-m-mean, about home security.”

Sasuke had expected this question. “In addition to owning Tomoe, I also consult privately with people who need security. That was a large part of what I did prior to returning full-time to Konoha. Most of my clients need a great deal more security than you do. You should understand, though, as a single mother, that you do need a measure of security you might not have before.”

Naruto gaped at him. They had never talked about this part of Sasuke’s work before.

“I-I-I see,” Hinata said, her stutter becoming more pronounced. “Um… S-s-s-asuke, d-d-do you think I… need to… that I need to get a… a… _weapon?”_

The corner of Sasuke’s lip lifted upwards briefly. He was accustomed to this question, also. For most of his clients, that answer would be a firm “yes,” and Sasuke would have begun training them to use a variety of weapons for self-defense.

“Are you proficient with any weapons?” he asked. Hinata shook her head emphatically.

“Then no. A weapon you aren’t familiar with becomes more of a liability if you try to use it in a tense situation. It can be used against you, in other words,” he answered.

Naruto grinned. “Hinata’s hands are weapons. Her family has its own martial art. Hinata’s actually really good at hand-to-hand combat if she needs to be. That’s why Himawari’s so scary.”

Hinata smiled and blushed at Naruto’s praise. Sasuke raised one brow. “That’s excellent. You should train if you haven’t done so in a while. But in the meantime, don’t take any kind of weapon, like a knife or a gun, that could be turned against you. I brought you some police-grade chemical spray; you are probably familiar with it as pepper spray.”

He passed a slender cylinder to Hinata. “Keep it close,” he told her. “Be cautious of it around children. It won’t kill them, but it will not be a pleasant time, and it could provoke respiratory distress.”

She grimaced at this, but she accepted it nonetheless. “There are other things I can get for you,” Sasuke continued. “Things like tactical pens and other small, easily portable objects that allow you to attack an opponent’s pressure points if they refuse to release you after you’ve sprayed them. With your training, though, your hands may be more efficient.”

She nodded at this, looking away thoughtfully.

“You need to file a restraining order on Kiba tomorrow, Hinata,” Sasuke said, changing the subject slightly. “It is mostly for your legal defense; should you have to use force upon him at some point, it will leave you with a documented paper trail of your concern for your well-being. In and of itself, there is little it can do to actually prevent him from causing you problems, but it gives you a defense if you needed to use deadly force, and in some instance, cops can even be presumed upon to respond if he violates it.”

Sasuke had a dim view of most law enforcement agents; he regarded most of them as incipient criminals who had found a state-sanctioned avenue for exercising their baser proclivities. The rest of them, he thought, were a well-meaning minority who tended to be over-shouted. He had never seen a police department handle issues such as stalking or domestic violence capably.

Naruto and Hinata both blanched visibly at the mention of deadly force, but he was undeterred. It was past time for each of them to understand the dangers implied by their former friend’s behavior.

“I’ll leave you with one last thought before I take stock of what else you need,” Sasuke said. “There are people who believe that an unmarried woman has an obligation to respond to any romantic attention she attracts. As ridiculously atavistic as it is, these people respect a real or imaginary husband more than a woman’s own autonomous refusals. This is a new era in your life. You owe it to yourself and your kids to take your security seriously. See your old friend as a symptom of what lurks.”

He stood. “Would you allow Naruto and me to take a look around and see where we might need to secure your home?”

Hinata nodded. “Of course. Th-thank you, Sasuke. I-I-I appreciate your help.” She looked apprehensive.

“Hey, Hinata, Sasuke means well,” Naruto said. “He knows what he’s doing, and he makes good points. I’d sleep a lot better if I knew you and the kids were as safe as you can be over here.”

Hinata smiled sadly. “I know. G-g-go ahead.”

Sasuke had picked up the fact that her stammer had worsened throughout their discussion. The savage delight he took in unsettling her should have made him feel guilty; she was obviously a kind, well-meaning person. Yet she was obviously still in love with Naruto, and that rankled Sasuke just a bit.

It took twenty minutes for Sasuke, with Naruto’s help, to look over the house, install the peephole camera and work up a plan. Fortunately, Naruto had taken many measures to make the home more secure, including installing a decent security system. Naruto’s son trailed behind them, trying to look casual, but clearly fascinated with what they were discussing—and clearly irritated at being left out of the plans.

When they left, Hinata pressed containers filled with sweets upon both Sasuke and Naruto. Sasuke was half-inclined to turn it down; he didn’t like sweets. Yet when he saw the shy, sad look in Hinata’s eyes, he couldn’t refuse. It seemed that she had sensed a major turning point in her life tonight. She still loved Naruto and respected him, and while that made Sasuke uneasy with her, it also made him feel indebted to her. Naruto had told him that she was the first person who had ever seen the good in him, and that made her special. He no longer wanted to protect her because Naruto would be devastated if she were hurt—he wanted to honor her for caring about his most precious person when no one else had.

  
As they drove back to Sasuke’s apartment, Naruto picked up his hand and brought it to his lips. He kissed it gently.

“Thanks, Sasuke,” he murmured. “This meant a lot to me.” Sasuke gripped his hand tightly in response.

In the shelter of Sasuke’s bed that night, neither man had the energy for passionate displays. They both, however, felt a burning need to connect. They kissed and touched throughout the night, until each slipped into a peaceful slumber, their arms wrapped snugly around each other.

 

* * *

 

Sasuke and Sarada stood at Naruto’s door and knocked. They could hear muffled noise from within, but no one answered. Sarada looked up at him, a dubious expression on her face. He knocked again, louder this time.

“Dad, shut up!” they heard someone scream over the other noises. After a few loud thumping noises, the door swung open, revealing a disgruntled-looking Boruto.

Sasuke noticed that his face flushed when he recognized Sarada standing in front of him.

“Come on in, Sarada, Mr. Uchiha,” he said. “Maybe my dad will _finally shut up!!!_ I mean, since we have guests and all.”

“Boy-oy-oy, got me walkin’ side to side!” Naruto sang in a screechy falsetto as he stood over the oven, oblivious to everyone around him.

Sasuke looked around. Boruto had led Sarada towards the living room. Himawari perched on a bar stool, laughing at her father. Naruto danced awkwardly as he shook a skillet over the stove eye.

“See you standin’ over there with your buddies!” Naruto wailed. “Lookin’ like I wanna rock wit your body, and boy-oy-oy…”

Sasuke pressed his index finger to his lips as he caught Himawari’s eye. He walked stealthily until he stood directly behind Naruto.

“Friends… keep talkin’ way too much… say I should give you up… Iiiiii…” Naruto continued. This time, as he jerked backwards in his version of dance, he backed into Sasuke unawares.

“Shit! Oh, sorry, Sasuke! Hey! I didn’t see you there!” he shouted, clearly embarrassed. He leaned forward, his reflex to kiss Sasuke, before he realized that the children were all watching in amusement.

“Heh.” he scratched the back of his head. “I like singing when I cook.”

Sasuke looked at him balefully. “Singing. Interesting word for that caterwauling you were doing, usuratonkachi.”

Boruto snickered, while Sarada looked appalled. Himawari giggled.

“I’m so glad you guys came over,” Naruto said. “Dinner’s just about ready. I picked out a movie for tonight, so we are all set!”

Sasuke’s lips turned upwards just slightly. When Sakura had told him that she would be gone for two weeks, and that he would be charged with Sarada’s care during that time, she had encouraged him to get together with Naruto and his children. He did not initially warm to the idea. So far, he and Naruto had always enjoyed plenty of privacy, and their companionship was easy and unrestricted. The thought of having to deal with Naruto with their children lurking around seemed fraught and awkward.

Standing in Naruto’s kitchenette, however, with the kids quietly engaged in their own pursuits, he was shocked at how natural it felt to be there… well, except for the part where he couldn’t touch Naruto, or kiss him, or drag him to the bedroom.

Sasuke had noticed before that Naruto seemed different around his children. He seemed even brighter and more relaxed. He positively glowed as he sang to his daughter and giggled with her. Sasuke had always found children confounding—even when he was one. They made almost no sense to him. Seeing Naruto this way made Sasuke’s heart flutter oddly.

“Aww, hell!” Naruto exclaimed. He turned to face Sasuke with a frowning pout.

“What is it, dobe?” Sasuke asked, amused.

“The rice. I thought this rice maker was supposed to be some kind of genius AI that makes the perfect rice, but this is awful.” Naruto scooped some dry, unappetizing rice out of the machine.

“Hn.” Sasuke grimaced. He appreciated a well-made batch of rice. This was a disaster.

“There’s only so much the rice cooker can compensate for human stupidity,” he told Naruto. He thumped him on the head.

“Ow! Hey, that wasn’t nice. I followed all the directions,” Naruto protested.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “This rice is not edible. Throw it out and I’ll show you how to make it correctly.”

“But we’re supposed to eat dinner now!” Naruto looked devastated, as if he’d somehow ruined Christmas for a group of orphans.

“We’re not eating that rice. It will break our teeth. Go on. Throw it out. We’ll order pizza or grab burgers. But I’m not leaving tonight until you know how to make a decent pot of rice. You can save it for the rest of the week,” Sasuke admonished.

“I want peeza, Daddy!” Himawari said. She clapped her hands and grinned excitedly.

“Can we please have burgers?” Boruto chimed in.

Naruto still looked grief-stricken over the ruined rice.

“We’ll go pick up burgers,” Sasuke said, understanding that there would be no consensus. “Does she need to come with us?” He gestured towards Himawari.

Naruto looked pursed his lips nervously.

“I’ll watch her for you, Mr. Uzumaki,” Sarada said. “If that’s OK with you.”

“Sarada, what have I told you about calling me Mr. Uzumaki outside of school?” Naruto scolded smilingly.

Sarada giggled and rolled her eyes. “I’m sorry, Naruto. I can watch Himawari, if you want.”

“Ok, Sarada, that’s great. Thank you. Don’t let Boruto set the house on fire or post Hima on Ebay while we’re gone. And nobody goes on the balcony without adult supervision,” Naruto instructed.

The two men made their way to Sasuke’s car; upon noting that it wasn’t visible from the apartment windows, Naruto grinned ferally. Sasuke’s lips twitched upwards, understanding his goal and sharing it. They had barely shut their doors when their lips collided in a feverish kiss. The heat pooled in Sasuke’s gut as his and Naruto’s lips and tongues danced. His hands gripped Naruto’s neck and stroked through his hair.

When they pulled back, they were both breathless and flushed. “Sneaking away to make out in the car,” Naruto laughed. “I never did this in high school. I feel like a late bloomer.”

Sasuke snorted. “I was in high school very briefly, but I certainly skipped over this phase.”

Naruto chuckled. “Do you ever wish we’d met when we were young, Sasuke?”

Sasuke immediately sobered. _No._

“I was too busy being a delinquent then,” he said. _You wouldn’t have liked me very much. And I wouldn’t have known your worth._

Naruto smiled wistfully. “Aw. C’mon. We coulda made it work! At the very least, if we’d met in high school, I’d have never doubted that I was gay.” He laughed and winked.

“Hn.”

Sasuke was grateful when Naruto tugged on his collar to pull him into another lip lock. He was glad he met Naruto when he did; the blond had entered his field of vision at exactly the right time in his life.

They separated reluctantly, but they held hands all the way to the burger joint. As they stood in line to order, they did not touch, but they stayed close to each other. Sasuke observed Naruto interacting with the other patrons and the staff; many of them knew him, it seemed, and he conversed easily with them. Sasuke smiled when the cashier blushed and grinned upon looking into his blue eyes.

Naruto ordered for the children, remembering that Sarada preferred a salad to a burger. The fact that he remembered something so seemingly trivial about his child touched Sasuke unexpectedly. He turned to Sasuke to take in his request.

“Do you want a grilled chicken sandwich, Sasuke?” Once again, he’d committed to memory something small. Sasuke nodded in affirmation.

The brief ride back was filled with Naruto’s animated conversations. They held hands again, kissing at every stoplight. Sasuke thought back to their first outings together, when he’d felt dizzy and silly with want. He still wanted Naruto, but he didn’t feel as if he were on the edge of a precipice anymore; he felt as if he and Naruto were sinking into something warm and comfortable and just exactly right. The idea didn’t bother him nearly as much as he reasoned it ought to.

 

* * *

 

Everyone groaned and stretched as the movie ended. Himawari slept in Naruto’s lap. Sarada looked half-asleep herself.

“You have really shitty taste in movies, Dad,” Boruto chided.

“Language!” Naruto shouted. “And I’ll have you know that _Enter the Dragon_ is a classic and Bruce Lee was a genius who was taken from us too soon because the gods were jealous.”

Boruto rolled his eyes. “It was _cheesy.”_

Naruto feigned hurt. “Cheesy? No way. I’ll have you know, Bruce Lee’s movies taught me everything I needed to know growing up.”

Sasuke grunted. “Explains a lot.”

Boruto snickered. “Sure does.”

“Hey, how can you say that? There was a lot of wisdom in that movie.” Naruto pleaded with his eyes. “C’mon! How can you deny the wisdom of ‘Don’t think! Feel! It is like a finger pointing a way to the moon. Don't concentrate on the finger or you will miss all that heavenly glory.’ That’s some beautiful stuff right there. Pure freakin’ poetry.”

“Tch.” Sasuke shook his head at Naruto’s antics. “Is this the hill you really want to die on, Naruto?”

“Hmph.” Naruto crossed his arms and scowled. “Sarada, you’re smart, back me up. This movie is genius, right?”

Sarada giggled—something she seemed to do a lot of around Naruto, Sasuke noticed. “Uhm. Mr. Uzu… I mean, Naruto, uh, maybe it’s just a little dated.”

Naruto gaped at Sarada as if she had betrayed him. He clutched his heart. “Et tu, Sarada? Et tu? Fine, then. You’ve offended me. You’ve offended the Shaolin Temple. I see how it is.”

Boruto looked at Sarada in exasperation. “This is it. He’s not gonna communicate in anything but movie quotes for the rest of the night.”

She laughed again. “Did you notice that Lee looks kinda like Coach Rock’s mentor, Guy?”

“Heh,” Boruto chuckled. “Same outdated haircut.”

“Rock Lee and Mighty Guy are some of the finest men to walk this earth, I’ll have you know,” Naruto said indignantly. “They have seen the wisdom of Bruce Lee. They are his spiritual heirs.”

Sarada laughed out loud at the sentiment, blushing and clapping her hand over her mouth when she saw Himawari stir on Naruto’s lap.

Boruto looked helplessly at Sasuke. “He’s awful when he gets like this. He’ll keep going like this on into tomorrow.”

Sasuke had been watching the interchange affectionately. Naruto’s enthusiasm knew almost no bounds; the fact that he could care so much about such a silly, outdated film and defend it with such childlike fervor would have, in a previous era, annoyed Sasuke. Now, it added to his attraction. He wanted nothing more than to sweep Naruto off to bed.

“You could always smother him in his sleep,” he told Boruto conspiratorially.

Boruto bowed over with laughter, holding his sides. “I might just do that,” he said.

“Pfft. You’re all… what’s the word… you all have no culture. And I’ll have you know, if you kill me, I won’t even notice. I’ll be too busy looking good.” Naruto’s sour expression made everyone, including Sasuke, chuckle.

“I told you,” Boruto said, shaking his head. “Once he starts, the quotes won’t end.”

Sarada yawned. “I’m so sleepy,” she said.

Sasuke realized that she’d been with him all day at the store. They’d come over to Naruto’s right after closing.

“Hey, you’re welcome to stay here, Sarada,” Naruto said. “Himawari has a trundle bed. I can put her on it and you can sleep in the big bed.”

She looked at Sasuke questioningly. “You can stay,” he said. “I’ll bring your things over from home.”

Naruto looked pleased. “You can sleep in one of my old shirts,” he told Sarada.

Sasuke noticed that Boruto was now looking down, staring intently at his feet. His cheeks were pink. Did Naruto’s son have a crush on Sarada? He had seemed so happy to see her when they’d arrived. He grimaced. He’d missed out on so much of Sarada’s life, by his own doing. She’d been a toddler the last time he and Sakura had actually shared a home regularly; it was clear that she was becoming a young woman. High school, dates, and drivers licenses weren’t far off into the future.

He had just begun to know is daughter. All too soon, he’d lose her again to adulthood.

“Dad, you need to get a couch,” Boruto complained. “It’s uncomfortable sitting on the floor or on the bar stools all the time.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Naruto said, as if he’d heard the complaint before. “Maybe, Boruto. Go on and get ready for bed. Sarada, there are new toothbrushes in the medicine cabinet in the bathroom. Sasuke, you’re welcome to stay, as well. Hey, this is cool! We’re having a slumber party!”

Naruto’s face beamed in genuine excitement. Sasuke thought that sleepovers had probably not been a feature of Naruto’s adolescence. Neither he nor Sasuke had experienced a typical childhood.

“Fine. I still have to teach you how to make rice, anyway, dobe,” Sasuke said. He wouldn’t have thought it possible, but Naruto’s grin widened.

“Hurrah! There’s a toothbrush for you, too, Sasuke!” Naruto hefted Himawari up and carried her to her bedroom. Sasuke allowed himself to glance in. The room was furnished with a white canopy bed. A sunflower-themed comforter covered it; matching curtains hung over the window and a yellow rug graced the middle of the floor. A small, white dresser completed the outfit.

It was a stark contrast to Naruto’s room, which he’d glimpsed earlier. No furniture, unless one counted the old futon on the floor, occupied his room at all. A basket for dirty clothes was the only other evidence that someone lived in there.

The children were soon stowed away for the night. Sasuke and Naruto had had very little time to themselves since Sakura had gone out of town, and he was eager to have him to himself—even if intimacy was precluded.

Naruto smiled warmly at him as he came out of the bathroom. “Thanks for coming over, Sasuke. I think the kids had a good time.”

Sasuke nodded. Everyone had seemed to get along quite well; Sarada had cheerfully allowed Himawari to patter after her like a shadow. Boruto and Sarada and chatted amiably about the friends and teachers they had in common. Of course, in the middle of it all was Naruto, with his loud laughter and easygoing happiness. He had been dreading this night, but it had outstripped his expectations.

“Rice, usuratonkachi,” he muttered. Naruto blushed and looked embarrassed.

“You have to learn how to do this, Naruto,” Sasuke intoned. “It will help you in the future.”

“OK, OK,” Naruto mumbled. “I get it. Just teach me your ways.”

“Hn.”

“Hey, this is where you tell me, ‘Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them,” Naruto complained.

Sasuke sighed. “This is where I say nothing of the sort, because I refuse to pander to the Bruce Lee in your head.”

“Fine, bastard. You’re a shitty rice sensei,” Naruto said with mock indignation.

“Get the rice and make sure the rice pot is clean,” Sasuke ordered.

Naruto huffed. “Aren’t you supposed to show me?”

Sasuke grunted. “I’m going to _teach_ you, which means, I instruct, you do. Got it?”

“Fine. Have it your way.”

The kitchenette was small, and the two men couldn’t avoid bumping into each other as they worked.

Sasuke looked over his shoulder as Naruto measured rice into the pot. “The first thing you have to learn,” he said softly into Naruto’s ear, “is that ‘no-rinse rice’ is a myth.”

Naruto shuddered slightly in response to Sasuke’s voice. “Oh… OK, why would they lie about that?”

Sasuke resisted the urge to snicker at Naruto’s complaint. He was obviously caught, just like Sasuke, between wanting to sink into the other’s nearness while being cognizant of the children slumbering in their bedrooms.

“It’s called marketing,” Sasuke said quietly. “No. Don’t just cover it with water and then pour it off.” He put his arms around Naruto to demonstrate. “You have to rub the rice between your fingertips like this.”

Naruto unconsciously drew nearer into Sasuke as he imitated Sasuke’s instructions. Their fingers brushed as they cleaned the rice, the warmth of their hands contrasting with the cold tap water.

The exercise went on longer than was strictly necessary. The rhythm of their work took on erotic overtones, although only their hands and arms touched.

“See how the water looks less cloudy now?” Sasuke murmured.

“Uh huh,” Naruto breathed.

“The rice is ready to be cooked, now,” Sasuke whispered. Naruto’s shoulders tensed up and his respiratory rate accelerated visibly.

“Put water in it just until it covers the rice.” This time, Sasuke looked to make sure they were well and truly alone and unobserved before brushing his tongue over the shell of Naruto’s ear. Naruto’s breath hitched.

“There. Put your finger in the water, touch the surface of the rice,” Sasuke ordered.

“Y… yeah,” Naruto stammered.

“Does the water come just over the first knuckle?” Sasuke bit at Naruto’s ear this time.

“Ung,” Naruto grunted. “N… n… no, not really,” he said breathlessly.”

“Put just enough water in until it does.” Sasuke lifted Naruto’s hand and guided it to the faucet.

“I… I think it’s enough.” Naruto’s voice came out as almost a squeak.

“Very good, Naruto. Put it in the rice cooker, now.” Sasuke discreetly ghosted his hand over Naruto’s hip. The nearness to Naruto was a peculiarly pleasurable form of torture.

“Um hm.” Naruto sighed. Sasuke allowed his fingers to trail over Naruto’s arms as the other man carried out his order.

He took Naruto’s hand in his again. “What setting do we use, Naruto, hm?” he asked. His voice was low and hoarse with longing.

“Uh… uh… wh… white?”

“Excellent. You’re a very good student,” Sasuke purred. His cock was getting harder by the minute. With Sasuke’s hand still over his, Naruto selected the correct setting. The rice maker chimed as it began.

Naruto turned around and faced Sasuke. His eyes were wide. His erection was evident through his jeans.

Sasuke leaned forward and kissed him chastely on the lips. Naruto hummed contentedly as their lips met.

The creak of an opening door startled both men, and they hastily jumped away from each other. Boruto barely glanced at them as he stomped off towards the bathroom.

Naruto quaked with silent laughter when Boruto shut his bedroom door once again. “That was close,” he whispered. Sasuke frowned guiltily. He couldn’t be like this with Naruto with their kids sleeping just a few feet away behind an adjoining wall.

“You want to sit out on the balcony?” Naruto asked. Sasuke nodded. He followed Naruto through his bedroom to a faux French door. The balcony was small, but it was somewhat cloistered from the rest of the apartment, and there were two chairs for them to sit in.

They held hands in silence for a long time. Sasuke studied Naruto’s profile as he looked up thoughtfully at the stars. He turned to Sasuke and smiled softly. “Thank you, Sasuke. This night has been wonderful.”

Sasuke nodded in agreement.

“I really wanna kiss ya,” Naruto said with a wistful smile.

“Then just do it, dobe.” They both smiled, and Sasuke wondered if Naruto was remembering their first kiss in the creek, too.

Naruto cradled Sasuke’s head in his hand and leaned in gently. Their lips met with soft pressure. Sasuke raised his hand to Naruto’s face, reveling in the feeling of his skin. He slipped his tongue in between Naruto’s lips with no resistance. Naruto’s soft moan made his heart beat faster.

Their arms soon encompassed each other, and their kisses were leisurely and soft. In the cool night air, Naruto’s mouth was warm and inviting. Sasuke could think of nothing more perfect than this

They broke apart and sat staring into the night side by side, holding hands and appreciating the simple pleasure of being close to each other.

A high-pitched trill alerted them that the rice was cooked. They slowly walked back into the kitchen, where Naruto raised the lid of the rice cooker nervously. When he saw the finished product, he grinned triumphantly at Sasuke. “It’s perfect,” he said.

“Of course it is,” Sasuke responded. “Did you think I would cause you to fail? Now, we make onigiri.”

Naruto looked at Sasuke with an awe-struck expression. “You know how to make onigiri?”

Sasuke shook his head. “Of course I do. And in a few minutes, you’ll know, too. It’s easy. Get me some salt and a plastic bag.”

  
Surprisingly, Naruto focused attentively on Sasuke’s instructions. When he produced his first triangular rice patty, he looked like a kid who’d just learned to ride a bike without training wheels. Sasuke’s chest tightened as he watched Naruto take pride in his newfound knowledge.

  
“Didn’t you ever learn to cook, Naruto?” Sasuke inquired. “You lived by yourself for so long.”

“Heh. I know how to cook fish over a fire,” he said. “And I can cook instant ramen in any flavor you could ask for.”

Sasuke snorted.

“There wasn’t anybody to teach me,” Naruto said shyly, almost as if the admission embarrassed him.

“There’s someone to teach you, now,” Sasuke announced. “You’re a fast learner. It’ll be easy.”

Naruto looked at him gratefully. “Will you teach me how to make other things, Sasuke?”

Sasuke nodded. “Cooking is easy. You’ll be fine.”

Naruto looked as if he wanted to kiss him again, but Sasuke cut his eyes towards Boruto’s bedroom door.

“I guess I left Hinata to do all that kind of stuff,” Naruto said with a disappointed sigh. “It was kinda nice having someone to cook for me, so I just never bothered to learn anything other than basics.”

“It’s nice to cook for yourself, too,” Sasuke said. “But you need some more equipment. We’ll go shopping together later on and get some things you need.”

Naruto looked at Sasuke as if he were a hero. In that moment, Sasuke wanted to be. He was secretly happy to have something to teach Naruto, a way to help him.

He discreetly checked an app on his phone. He frowned down at the screen. It was, unfortunately, now or never.

“Naruto.”

Naruto looked up from the rice he worked in his hands.

“There’s something I have to take care of,” Sasuke said reluctantly.

Naruto immediately looked disappointed. “OK, Sasuke,” he grumbled.

“I’m sorry,” Sasuke offered. He sincerely meant it.

“Can you come back?” Naruto asked.

Sasuke thought for a minute. He wasn’t sure, honestly, whether he could or not.

“If I can. I have to run an errand.”

“An errand? But it’s almost two am,” Naruto said.

“I know. Remember what I told you about my other work?” Naruto nodded.

“Sometimes you have to respond at odd hours,” Sasuke explained.

Naruto shot him a downcast look.

“OK, Sasuke. But please come back if you can.”

Sasuke knew how much it cost Naruto’s pride to make such a request. “Of course.” He quickly made sure that his keys and wallet were in his pockets. “Walk me to my car, if you want.”

Naruto brightened. They walked out into the darkness, neither man saying a word; Naruto’s posture and expression communicated his misgivings clearly, though. “Naruto. It’s a brief errand. I should be back soon,” Sasuke said brusquely.

“That’s fine, Sasuke.” Naruto didn’t look mollified, despite his words.

When they reached Sasuke’s car, Sasuke cupped Naruto’s face and kissed him gently, then embraced him. He wanted to soak in Naruto’s warmth. It reminded him of the promises he’d made, and why they were so important to keep.

“Wrap the onigiri tightly in plastic wrap and put them in the fridge,” he said. “They’ll dry out if you don’t. Wrap them while they’re still hot.

“Hai, Sensei!” Naruto gave an exaggerated bow and grinned. He dug in his pocket and slipped something into Sasuke’s hand. “Extra key. Just in case I can’t hear you when you come back.”

Sasuke pocketed the key and kissed Naruto’s forehead. “I’ll see you soon,” he told him.

Naruto stood watching Sasuke’s car as he left; Sasuke could see him in his rear view mirror.

 

* * *

 

It hadn’t been hard to find him, at all. Sasuke had gleaned all the information he needed the previous day.

A surreptitiously placed, real-time GPS tracker on the undercarriage of his car allowed Sasuke to track his peregrinations—which, admittedly, amounted to a few modest movements throughout the day.

The tracking device currently placed him just over the town limits, in an area Sasuke recognized for its sleazy, run-down bars and overall blight.

Sasuke parked across the street, his car obscured by overgrown shrubbery outside of an abandoned gas station. He waited patiently, watching the patrons who entered and left the seedy dive.

After about an hour, a mass exodus from the door signified last call. As they dispersed, the bar was all but deserted. The bar’s parking lot was almost empty, but his target was parked in an adjacent alley way. It made Sasuke’s work much easier.

His quarry eventually stumbled drunkenly out of the bar, completely alone. Sasuke recognized him by his facial tattoos, which he’d seen in photos in his internet searches. Otherwise, the man was hardly recognizable. His brown, unkempt hair was growing out badly. He wondered how Naruto and Hinata had ever considered such a person their friend.

Keeping to the shadows, Sasuke made his way quietly across the street as Kiba drunkenly loped towards his car, keys in hand. The fact that the son of a bitch apparently intended to drive in his intoxicated state strengthened Sasuke’s resolve.

The drunken fool didn’t recognize the danger he was in. It was easy enough to collar him from behind and throw him face down onto the cracked asphalt

“What the fuck…” Kiba wheezed. He smelled like a distillery.

“Kiba Inuzuka,” Sasuke said with quiet spite.

“Who… who the hell are you?”

“You don’t need to know who I am. But I know all about you.” Sasuke knelt, one knee in Kiba’s lower back. He pinned the drunken man’s hands behind him.

“Get off me!” Kiba screamed hysterically.

“I don’t feel like it,” Sasuke said coolly.

“My… my wallet’s in my back pocket. Just take it, man. Please. Just let me go.”

The wheedling tone suited Sasuke fine; it almost made him want to smile.

“I don’t want your money,” he said softly. “You accosted Naruto Uzumaki not long ago, do you remember that?”

“What the hell? Get off me. Are you one of his queer-ass friends?”

Sasuke shoved his knee sharply into Kiba’s back, making him cry out.

“As a matter of fact, I am. And unless you’re eager to have me or another one of his ‘queer-ass friends’ pay you a less friendly visit, you will leave him alone.”

“Fuck you, man. That fucker nearly broke my nose.” Kiba struggled, but he couldn’t move with Sasuke pinning him and holding his wrists tightly.

“Didn’t actually break it, hmm? More’s the pity. I will happily finish the job if I find out that you’ve so much as breathed in his or his family’s direction.”

“I guess this is a ‘friendly’ warning, too,” Kiba said bitterly.

“I’m minding my manners tonight. Bother Naruto, Hinata, or their children again, I’ll be much less polite.”

“I don’t want any trouble with anybody,” Kiba cried out. He sniffled. “Naruto attacked me in my own home. I just want you all to leave me alone.”

Sasuke gripped Kiba’s hair and pulled his head back sharply. “Yet he didn’t strike back when you attacked him before, did he? I wonder why that was?” He did not bash Kiba’s face into the pavement as his fingers were screaming to do—he knew he wouldn’t be able to stop if he did—but he let his head drop abruptly.

“You need to learn a few things about courtship. When someone tells you they aren’t interested, you leave them alone. At this point, nothing would give me more pleasure than beating you to a pulp. I will refrain for the moment, but if I hear any complaints whatsoever about you—from Naruto, Hinata, or random people in the general public—you and I will meet again in less pleasant circumstances.”

Kiba was stiff beneath him, breathing unevenly.

“This concludes our visit tonight. I’ll be taking your car keys. You’re in no shape to drive.” Kiba’s keys had slipped from his hand when Sasuke grabbed him. He scooped them up and jingled them next to Kiba’s ear.

“How am I supposed to get home?” Kiba whined.

“That’s your problem. But you won’t be driving. Keep your face down and count to twenty. If you move a muscle before you have, our arrangement is nullified,” Sasuke warned.

Kiba lay on the pavement face down next to his car as Sasuke rose, counting out loud amidst sniffles and whines. Sasuke walked back to his car warily. When he took off, he could still see Kiba in his wing mirror, lying still and prone in alley. When he reached a bridge over the river, he rolled down his window and tossed the jangling key ring into the water below.

 

* * *

 

The encounter with Kiba had hardly been threatening to Sasuke; the drunkard hadn’t even tried to fight back. Still, the rage that had filled Sasuke upon seeing the man who’d hit Naruto and caused him so much distress had led to an adrenaline dump. As he drove, the neurochemical high abruptly ended. Sasuke’s hands shook. Nausea overwhelmed him.

He pulled into the parking lot of a drug store, fearing he might vomit. As he looked back over the evening, he realized that Naruto would never approve of his behavior. Despite the fact that Sasuke had no moral qualms about it, and would even have gone further, the thought of Naruto filled him with guilt. Naruto feared the darkness that he believed he harbored in himself; the darkness within Sasuke, though, yawned like a black hole.

Sasuke breathed in and out slowly. He didn’t want to sink into that black hole ever again; he might never emerge if he did. At the same time, it insinuated itself into his life where he least wanted it.

When his breathing evened out and the nausea subsided, Sasuke drove again. Part of him screamed at him to return straight to Naruto immediately and imbibe his warmth. Another part of him felt too tainted and twisted. Naruto shouldn’t have to lie beside someone who reveled in deadly, violent thoughts.

He’d promised Naruto he would try to come back, though. He stopped off first at his own apartment. A quick shower helped to somewhat dispel the morbid mood that hung over him after he’d menaced Kiba.

He collected Sarada’s overnight case from her room. As he prepared to leave, he decided to bring some food over to Naruto’s place. They’d have three hungry children needing breakfast in just a few hours, and Naruto’s pantry was pitifully stocked. He gathered bread, eggs, milk, and maple syrup, as well as an unopened carton of orange juice.

The morbid thoughts descended upon him again as he opened Naruto’s door. In this apartment, his daughter, in addition to two other innocent children, slept peacefully. The man who had come to mean so much to Sasuke slept here, too, ignorant of the things Sasuke had done, thought, and felt tonight. The age-old instinct to run, to put distance between himself and these innocent people, reared up inside of him.

He stepped across the threshold. With deliberate care, he placed the groceries he’d bought in the refrigerator. He set Sarada’s backpack just outside of Himawari’s door.

He lingered for several moments at Naruto’s bedroom door. When he finally opened it, he could see Naruto sprawled across the futon clumsily. He padded quietly to his side. Naruto’s lips were parted, and he snored softly. Sasuke reached out and touched the bright, blond hair. The instinct to run, as well as the thick, black fog that had hung over him, dissipated as he watched Naruto sleep.

He kissed his cheek gently. Naruto stirred and opened his eyes.

“I’m back,” Sasuke told him. Naruto smiled sleepily.

“Okaeri,” Naruto said. His voice was rough and gravelly from sleep. “There’s enough room for you on the futon. Lie down.”

Sasuke lay down beside Naruto, relieved to feel him and hear him beside him. As always, they lay facing each other. Under the covers, Naruto slipped his hand into Sasuke’s. After a long and wearing day, Sasuke slept.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SPOILER ALERT; they eat French toast for breakfast. But Sasuke insists that they each eat an egg for protein. :D 
> 
>  
> 
> We see more of Sasuke's dark side, here; rage, a little bit of jealousy. Yet he wants to overcome it. What did you guys think? Let me know!  
> You can follow me on Tumblr: https://uchihabride.tumblr.com/  
> I'll be posting outtakes that I cull from the story, as well as posting my thoughts on this AU (I didn't plan on world-building, but damned if that's not kind of what I'm having to do, now).
> 
> Thank you, THANK YOU to everyone who has left kudos and comments, and to all who've bookmarked this story. Wow, you all know how to make a writer feel grand--over 300 kudos now! I never expected to get much of a following for this story. You've all given me things to consider and reconsider, and I'm more grateful than you could know.


	21. Playing House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sasuke and Naruto have a rite-of-passage; Boruto and Sarada make a new friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boy/Boy stuff.

Naruto strained, breathless. He had exerted himself well past his limits. Sasuke, it seemed, had done so, as well.

 

“This bitch is getting chopped to bits when I move out,” Naruto wheezed. “It wasn’t even getting it up the stairs that was so damned hard; it was getting it through the door.”

 

Sasuke bent, his hands on his knees, as he caught his breath. “No argument on either point,” he said after a measure.

 

They each collapsed onto the sofa they’d just hauled into Naruto’s apartment. “Comfortable, at least,” Naruto said, his eyes closed.

 

Sasuke tipped his head back and breathed in. “Better be,” he quipped.

 

Naruto looked him over as they sat. Something had changed in their relationship over the past few weeks. Naruto felt closer to Sasuke than he ever had. An air of promise accompanied every touch, every kiss, and every look.

 

They spent more time together, even though intimacy had been rare recently. There had been movie nights with both Naruto’s children and Sarada (no, he would never, ever concede that Kurosawa was more interesting than Bruce Lee, thank you very much). There were shared meals and days spent at the pool. Sasuke had come over a few times to help Naruto make rice, as well as vegetables and a meat dish, so that he would always have food on hand. This had been a stroke of genius; Naruto had managed to feed the kids a home-cooked meal when they visited or when Hinata had to work at her new job. They still had not visited the beach as a group; that was one of Naruto’s most cherished goals for their two broken families.

 

Today, they had been shopping all morning for kitchen goods. “At the very least, you need some decent knives, usuratonkachi,” Sasuke had told him.

 

Of course, he needed much more than knives, and under Sasuke’s guidance, he’d also purchased a kettle, a stockpot, a pre-seasoned skillet, a wok, and an electronic pressure cooker, in addition to a dozen different spices that Sasuke insisted were basic seasonings.

 

His inner critic had run wild. _Why don’t you just make a wedding registry, already? Better yet,_ _get a pair of burial plots._

 

To his surprise, instead of driving back to Naruto’s apartment after the shopping trip, Sasuke drove to the hardware store. When they arrived, Sasuke told him to sit in the car for a minute. He returned 20 minutes later with the keys to a rental truck, telling Naruto to follow him.

 

They drove to an exclusive, gated community, one Naruto had only been inside of once. One of Sasuke’s customers lived there, as it turned out, and she was giving Sasuke a sofa. Sasuke’s customer was an elderly lady, who, Naruto was certain, nursed a crush on the dark-eyed book seller. She had purchased the item, only to discover that “this shade of brown just isn’t neutral enough.” Instead of sending it back in exchange for another sofa, she had instead pressed Sasuke to take the brand-new, high-end piece. It was a fine piece of furniture, crafted from hardwood and covered in leather.

 

Sasuke called him as they exited the subdivision.

 

“You’re going the wrong way, dobe,” he said without preamble.

 

“Nah, Sasuke, this is the way to your place,” Naruto argued.

 

“Idiot. I have a sofa. This one is going to your apartment.”

 

There was no use in arguing at that point; Naruto was going to have a new, expensive sofa that he had neither asked for nor even considered. Naruto was reasonably certain that Sasuke would have procured another sofa for him had his customer not given him this one.

 

_Setting up housekeeping. Cute. Just adorable. You never learn._

 

As he and Sasuke recovered from their harrowing trek up the stairs with the sturdy piece, he reasoned that he didn’t mind it too much. He had resisted furnishing the apartment more than was necessary; it was just a liminal space for a newly divorced father, he’d thought, and he had hated the thought of making it a permanent dwelling.

 

Now, though, it was beginning to feel more like a place where he could actually live, at least for a little while. The kids enjoyed swimming in the pool. He and Sasuke cooked here. Sarada had even gifted him a monstera, having remembered how much he loved houseplants.

 

“So, we’ve done this huge, symbolic male bonding thing,” Naruto said when he regained his breath.

 

Sasuke raised his eyebrows and smirked. “Sweating?”

 

“Nah. When you move furniture together, it’s supposed to be a… what’s it called when you do something important that means that you’ve taken a new step in something?”

 

_The tightening of the noose?_

 

“A rite of passage?” Sasuke offered.

 

“Yeah!” Naruto said. “A rite of passage. So, we’re, like, official bros now that you’ve moved furniture with me.”

 

Sasuke looked appalled. “I am not, nor will I ever be, your _bro_ , usuratonkachi.” He preempted Naruto’s pout by kissing him wetly. “I am certain a _bro_ would never do that.”

 

Naruto laughed. “Bastard. Good point, though.”

 

“I kinda wanna get a kotatsu next,” he told Sasuke. “It’d be nice on those godawful, damp winter days.”

 

“You’d have to sit on the floor for it to work,” Sasuke countered.

 

“Nah. I’d slip my footsies under it and stay toasty warm while I watched TV,” Naruto answered, undeterred. “But I don’t even know where to buy one in the US.”

 

Sasuke gave him a rare, indulgent smile.

 

“Or,” Naruto said slyly, “you could just be my personal heater all winter.”

 

_You don’t need a kotatsu, kid. Cheese melts when it’s warm._

 

Sasuke rolled his eyes and pinched him. A few seconds later, he kissed him.

 

Naruto ran his finger just under the collar of Sasuke’s shirt. “We should probably christen the new couch,” he murmured.

 

“There is no way, after hauling it up four flights of stairs, around corners, and through your doorway, that I will be any part of ‘christening’ this sofa,” he said sharply.

 

Naruto looked at him pleadingly. “C’mon, Sasuke! Look at it as a reward.”

 

Sasuke stood and smiled tauntingly. “I’ll _reward_ you if you’ll move this argument to your futon,” he said. He held out his hand.

 

Heat filled Naruto’s abdomen. He stood and took Sasuke’s hand and followed him to his bedroom.

 

Sasuke took his time undressing him, dispensing first with his orange polo. He kissed Naruto’s neck slowly. Naruto sighed loudly when he ran his fingers up his spine. As Sasuke leisurely explored his upper body, Naruto pondered the changes in their intimate encounters. The mutual longing remained, but there was now a patience in their encounters that had grown along with their confidence ; at first, they had been so eager to experience unknown passion. In addition, Naruto had felt in the beginning as if Sasuke were too good to be true; thus he’d avidly pursued every touch and every kiss before Sasuke might disappear into thin air.

 

Sasuke’s fingers played at the small of his back, sending tingles over Naruto’s skin as they kissed. Naruto ran his tongue over the roof of Sasuke’s mouth and behind his teeth. Sasuke was his, and he was Sasuke’s. The thought made the kiss deeper and more intense.

 

He slipped out of the kiss and embraced Sasuke. “I want to feel you,” he whispered in Sasuke’s ear just before running his tongue over the outer rim. Sasuke grunted and pulled closer to him.

 

He pulled Sasuke’s v-neck over his head and looked him over. Sasuke’s form never failed to make him hard. Gazing at him filled Naruto with a contentious blend of pride and humility. It wasn’t just that Sasuke was physically perfect; of all the people Sasuke could have chosen, he was in _Naruto’s_ arms, giving and taking pleasure.

 

“You’re so fucking gorgeous,” he growled. Sasuke’s eyes darkened with lust as Naruto’s eyes roamed over his body.

 

He pulled him close. Both men gasped as they embraced skin-to-skin. It had been too long since they’d had any time alone together. He kissed Sasuke’s neck, sucking hard and then licking softly. Sasuke made a noise somewhere between a growl and a moan.

 

“I really, really like the little noises you make,” Naruto murmured against his skin. The goosebumps that dotted Sasuke’s skin as he spoke thrilled him.

 

He kissed Sasuke’s shoulder, marking the fair skin. Sasuke’s breath caught sharply.

 

Naruto lifted his arm, then nuzzled into Sasuke’s underarm. Sasuke’s scent made his dick throb with need—so masculine, so perfect. Sasuke writhed in his arms.

 

He kissed up his side and over his rib cage. He swirled his tongue over a dark nipple. When he sucked it sharply, Sasuke cried out. Naruto chuckled around the hardened little nub between his lips.

 

“Do you like that, baby?’ he asked Sasuke. He felt Sasuke nod and shudder in response. He was learning to adore the effect his voice had on him when they were together. “I love your nipples,” he said fondly. “They’re so responsive.” He tugged gently with his teeth.

 

Sasuke hummed in contentment. Naruto kissed over his collarbone, taking time to appreciate the delicate contours. He stroked over Sasuke’s sternum with his fingertips and took the other nipple into his mouth. Sasuke gripped his hair in one hand; the other scraped along his back.

 

“Let me hear when something feels good,” Naruto commanded gently. He flicked the hardened nipple with his tongue. Sasuke groaned in response.

 

Naruto sucked longingly on Sasuke’s nipple, enjoying his little gasps and moans. He released the sensitized skin with a hard pop in order to trail kisses along Sasuke’s side and abdomen as he ran his hands over Sasuke’s waistline appreciatively. “Your body is magnificent,” he said.

 

He knelt and kissed Sasuke’s taut lower abdomen. He circled his navel with his tongue, then plunged it into the perfect, nearly horizontal indenture. He nibbled around the edges with his teeth, then thrust his tongue in again.

 

“Ah!” Sasuke gasped at the sensation. Naruto’s chuckle was a low rumble against his stomach.

 

“Does that feel nice, Sasuke?” he asked.

 

“Mhm,” Sasuke breathed.

 

“I wanna make you feel extra nice today,” Naruto whispered against his skin. Sasuke tugged at Naruto’s hair.

 

He slid the sweatpants down over Sasuke’s slender hips, lifting one foot and then the other out of the pants legs. He patiently removed Sasuke’s shoes and socks, delicately raising each foot to his lips to kiss the ankle and the arch.

 

He kissed Sasuke’s calves, then his shins. He forced his focus away from Sasuke’s cock. He didn’t want to tease, but he wanted to prolong Sasuke’s enjoyment as long as he could, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to resist fondling or sucking it if he looked.

 

He kissed the flesh behind Sasuke’s knees and swept his tongue over it; he could taste the salt that lingered on Sasuke’s skin and hear Sasuke choking back the little whimpers that were threatening to reveal his discomposure. Naruto smirked a bit. Affecting Sasuke this way was always a bit of a rush.

 

He continued his agonizingly slow journey over Sasuke’s thighs, kissing and biting. He cupped Sasuke’s ass in his hands and softly kneaded the firm, pleasantly rounded flesh. Sasuke’s breath quickened.

 

Naruto leaned back and allowed his eyes to roam over the body of the man standing before him. His head was thrown back, his eyes partially closed. His lips were parted; the usually pale skin of his chest and neck was flushed, and his nipples stood at attention.

 

He was a portrait of arousal, and Naruto nearly growled as his eyes hungrily took it all in. In particular, though, his cock—heavy and erect beneath Naruto’s perusal—caught his attention. The dewy drop at the tip cried out for Naruto’s lips. Wasting no more time, Naruto tongued the engorged, pink flesh, savoring Sasuke’s taste.

 

“Ngh, Naruto,” Sasuke moaned.

 

Unable to resist any longer, Naruto took Sasuke’s length into his mouth and sucked. Sasuke’s hands tugged sharply on Naruto’s hair as he moaned. When Naruto cupped his balls with one hand, pre-cum flowed into his mouth.

 

He let Sasuke’s cock slip out of his mouth, wiping his lips with the back of his hand. Sasuke pursed his lips in consternation.

 

“I’m not gonna leave you hanging,” Naruto said with a throaty chuckle. He rose to stand eye-to-eye with Sasuke. Taking his face in his hands, he kissed him deeply. Sasuke encircled him in his arms and pulled him against him. Naruto nipped at Sasuke’s lower lip, sucking it into his mouth and then releasing it. He pulled away gently.

 

“Lie down on the futon for me, Sasuke,” he commanded. Sasuke took a few steps backwards and lay down on his back.

 

“Very, very pretty. But I want you on your stomach. Or hands and knees,” Naruto said. Sasuke flushed a deeper shade of pink. He looked at Naruto for a moment before complying, rolling over and kneeling with his elbows on the futon. He looked back at Naruto over his shoulder, uncharacteristically vulnerable.

 

Naruto’s dick twitched. Nothing could compete with Sasuke’s pert, spankable ass, in Naruto’s view. Between that and the doe-eyed look he was casting over his shoulder, Naruto found himself driven to near madness.

 

“Spread your knees a little wider apart, please,” he said. He swallowed hard as Sasuke obeyed. “Can you wait there for me for just a second?”

 

Sasuke nodded hesitantly. Naruto swiftly walked into his bathroom and retrieved a bottle of lube from the drawer. He came back and stood behind Sasuke, undressing as he appreciated the view of Sasuke on his hands and knees just for him.

 

He knelt behind Sasuke, allowing his cock to brush against the cleft of his ass. Sasuke’s breath hitched.

 

“You’re so damned hot from behind,” Naruto murmured. He bent himself over Sasuke’s back and kissed his ear and neck. Sasuke moaned quietly and pushed himself back into Naruto’s body.

 

Naruto kissed between Sasuke’s shoulder blades. He held his waist has he kissed and licked a trail down Sasuke’s spine. Sasuke trembled slightly beneath him. Emboldened, he sucked and bit, scattering marks over the pristine canvas of Sasuke’s back.

 

He leaned back and massaged Sasuke’s hips. He loved the taper of his waist and the way his hips angled sharply. He rubbed his cock between Sasuke’s cheeks, making them both gasp. He ground gently against his ass. When his dick slid over Sasuke’s balls, he groaned.

 

“Ah, Sasuke, you feel so good,” he panted. When their cocks slipped over each other, slick with their natural lubrication, both men called out.

 

Naruto swore under his breath. Sasuke had asked for everything the last time they were together, but he was still nervous about penetrating him. As Sasuke rocked back into him, though, it was becoming a nearly unbearable urge.

 

He reluctantly pulled back. He placed his palms flat over Sasuke’s sacrum and massaged deeply; he worked the muscles in his hands, moving along to his hips and then his glutes, until the tension produced by their earlier exertion had been eased. The firm muscles beneath his hands were a reminder of Sasuke’s strength and masculinity; the sensation filled him with desire.

 

Without warning, he slapped Sasuke’s left cheek sharply.

 

“Aaah!” Sasuke threw his head back and cried out.

 

“Did you like that, Sasuke?” Naruto asked carefully. He skimmed his hand gently over the skin he had just struck.

 

“Mhm,” Sasuke breathed. He rocked his hips back towards Naruto.

 

Naruto grinned. He slipped his hand between Sasuke’s legs, brushing over his balls and the underside of his cock. With the tip of his finger, he gathered the dewy fluid from Sasuke’s slit and retraced his movements.

 

Sasuke began to sweat. Naruto gripped his left hip, then brought his hand down on his right cheek.

 

Sasuke’s moan was high pitched and needy. Emboldened by the reaction, Naruto slapped his ass again. The red welts appearing over the white skin awakened something wild and raw within Naruto. A desire to fully take possession of Sasuke, so strong he could barely stand it, pulsed through his veins.

 

He bent and spread Sasuke’s ass, taking a moment to admire the perfect pink bud that beckoned for his attention. He licked over it wetly. Sasuke thrust his hips backwards, and despite his efforts, a whimper escaped his control.

 

Naruto kissed around Sasuke’s puckered entrance, then kissed the rubescent marks that he had left on Sasuke’s ass. He laved the angry skin as if to soothe it. Sasuke fisted the sheets and hummed in frustration.

 

Denying both himself and Sasuke the release they craved, he sucked at the skin he had not yet marked.

 

Still relentlessly teasing, he reached for the lube and poured some out on his hand. He slid his hand between Sasuke’s legs to grip the base of his cock, taking a moment to fondle his sac. Just as he began to pump the throbbing flesh in his hand, he slid his tongue over Sasuke’s entrance again.

 

“Unh….” Sasuke growled softly.

 

Naruto traced Sasuke’s pucker with his tongue, then nibbled the insides of his cheeks. Sasuke writhed against his face, demanding more contact. Unable to resist any longer, he thrust his tongue into Sasuke’s tight, pink hole.

 

“Anhh… Naruto… oh, fuck...” Sasuke called out breathlessly.

 

Naruto all but buried his face between the two pert globes, sucking and thrusting his tongue. Before meeting Sasuke, he’d never thought such an act could be so erotic; now that he had discovered this new source of pleasure, he explored it for all it was worth. The idea of having his tongue buried inside of Sasuke seemed wicked and taboo and indescribably intimate. Knowing he was tasting the forbidden flesh of such a private and guarded man heightened the appeal.

 

He moaned into Sasuke’s skin as his lover quivered and whimpered unabashedly. He tightened his grip around Sasuke’s cock and rubbed harder. He reluctantly pulled back from Sasuke’s opening and clumsily gripped the bottle of lube again. He dribbled the clear fluid generously over Sasuke’s opening, chuckling at the surprised gasp Sasuke made.

 

He delicately moved his fingers over the opening he’d just anointed, coating them with lube. He gently pushed against the opening with his index finger. When Sasuke sighed, he slowly pushed inside.

 

“Mm, Naruto…” Sasuke moaned. The involuntary rock of his hips encouraged Naruto to continue.

 

He moved his finger in time with the rhythm of Sasuke’s shallow thrusts.

 

“More, Naruto,” Sasuke growled.

 

“Huh?” Naruto asked, surprised.

 

“Another finger,” Sasuke ground out.

 

Somewhat nervously, and with great caution, Naruto pushed his middle finger past the first ring of muscles.

 

“Shove it in.” Sasuke’s demand came out almost as a whine.

 

Naruto slowly pushed the finger completely in alongside the other.

 

“Goddamn, Naruto, harder!” Sasuke begged through gritted teeth.

 

Naruto partially pulled his fingers out, then thrust them in again.

 

“More,” Sasuke pleaded.

 

Naruto thrust a little harder, earning a low, keening moan. The response reassured him, and he began to rapidly move his fingers in and out of Sasuke. He sought the spot he’d found the last time he’d fingered him. When his fingertip brushed over the firm protrusion, Sasuke swore loudly.

 

Naruto now struggled to coordinate his attentions on both Sasuke’s ass and his cock. The dilemma was solved by Sasuke’s own greedy thrusts. Naruto’s trepidation faded as he relished the tight heat that gripped his fingers. He longed to sheath himself inside of Sasuke and fuck wantonly.

 

Sasuke slammed back over and over onto Naruto’s fingers, faster and faster. His ass clenched around the probing digits as his hips rocked. Sweat now covered him, dripping onto the futon as he swayed. Suddenly, the movement of his hips became more of a stutter. What started off as a low, rumbling growl in his throat expanded into a keening wail.

 

“Come for me, Sasuke.” Naruto’s voice was hoarse. “I want you to come really hard for me, baby.” He continued thrusting and stroking.

 

“Naruto! Oh, _fuck,_ Na…” Sasuke’s voice trailed off as he spasmed around Naruto’s fingers. He ejaculated forcefully, coating Naruto’s hand and spraying his own stomach and chest.

 

Sasuke sagged forward onto the futon. Naruto looked him over appreciatively. His creamy skin was covered in sweat. Naruto had left his mark with his mouth and his hands all over Sasuke’s ass; kiss marks were scattered over his back and shoulders. His member throbbed almost painfully at the sight.

 

Breathless, Sasuke half turned, half flopped onto his back. His eyes looked even darker; his fringe was plastered over his forehead while the rest of his hair spread haphazardly around his head on the pillow. He breathed shallowly as he recovered from his rush of pleasure.

 

Naruto regarded him with satisfaction and longing. He stroked himself as he looked Sasuke over.

 

“Na… Naruto…” Sasuke stammered. “Wanna see you come.”

 

Naruto grinned. Sasuke’s diction was usually so precise, but he sounded completely undone. Naruto gripped himself tightly and ran his other hand over Sasuke’s chest. The drunken smile Sasuke gave him in response him sent heat shooting through his veins.

 

He drizzled lube over his cock and stroked firmly, thumbing the tip as he did.

 

“Bring it to me,” Sasuke said, still somewhat out of breath.

 

Naruto walked on his knees to straddle Sasuke’s chest, bringing his cock against Sasuke’s lips. He massaged himself as Sasuke licked and suckled the head lazily. The vision of Sasuke’s pink tongue lapping at his penis made him groan aloud.

 

“Ah, Sasuke, feels so good,” he rasped. Sasuke locked eyes with him and swirled his tongue.

 

He thrust into his hand faster. Sasuke continued to lick and suck, his heavy-lidded eyes staring into Naruto’s.

 

Tension coiled inside of him as he neared the edge. He’d held back for so long that he could no longer restrain himself. Just as he reached the tipping point, Sasuke opened his mouth wide. Naruto shot off into Sasuke’s mouth; thick, white ropes of semen dribbled over his lips. Sasuke swallowed, looking up at Naruto as he licked his lips.

 

“Shit,” Naruto hissed. He collapsed beside Sasuke, who pulled him into a kiss.

 

A thought occurred to him as he snuggled into Sasuke’s warm body. “This is the first time we’ve done anything like this at my place,” he mumbled.

 

Sasuke yawned. “Are you going to mark it on your calendar or something?” he asked sarcastically.

 

“Heh. Maybe.”

 

“Dobe.”

 

“Asshole.”

 

They nuzzled into each other affectionately.

 

Naruto had just begun floating in the post-orgasmic realm between sleep and consciousness when Sasuke shook him.

 

“We have to return the truck,” he said. He looked as exhausted as Naruto felt; his eyes were still glazed, and the skin beneath them was slightly darker than usual.

 

“Ah, OK,” Naruto said regretfully. He liked drifting off to sleep with Sasuke after they’d both come. After moving the sofa and then bringing both of them to climax, Naruto was worn out.

 

“I’m going to shower,” Sasuke said. “I’ll be quick.”

 

“Yeah,” Naruto yawned. “I’ll get you some clothes you haven’t sweat in today.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

He listened distantly to the sounds of Sasuke padding about in the bathroom, then the sound of the shower. Right then, he decided, he was perfectly content. Having Sasuke nearby, spending time with him doing mundane things like cooking a simple meal or moving furniture, felt like a definition of perfection that no one had ever suggested to him before.

 

_Do you want your heart broken, kid? ‘Cause this is how you get your heart broken._

 

He put his hands over his ears without thinking, trying to drown out the voice of his cantankerous psyche.

 

As a child without a family, it had not been the birthday parties and the holiday gatherings that he had most envied; although he longed for those things, as well, it was the lack companionship in his day-to-day endeavors that had made his life lonely. Hinata had provided him with the stability he’d lacked. But with Sasuke… he had camaraderie for life’s dull tasks and passion, as well.

 

He wondered if, in the distant future, he and Sasuke might live together. He realized that they were capable of irritating each other, but thinking of waking up beside him every morning filled his stomach with butterflies.

 

 _I_ warned _you not to play house with that bastard._

 

Naruto shoved himself to stand upright when he heard the shower stop. He rummaged through his closet and found the indigo tee and the black sweatpants Sasuke had loaned him when they’d first met.

 

From the very beginning, Sasuke had watched over him and cared for him. He didn’t cloy—the thought of Sasuke _cloying_ was laughable—but he was steadfast and watchful. He made certain that Naruto had what he needed, whether that was a guardian on a drunken night, more vegetables in his diet, or an unsolicited sofa.

 

Thinking over all the things that Sasuke had done for him, he was overwhelmed with…

 

_Stop it. Stop it right there. I see where you’re headed, and it’s too soon._

 

Naruto swallowed. The tender feelings Sasuke aroused in him were almost painful, demanding demonstration. He wanted to fold Sasuke into him and keep him close; he wanted to fill his life with joy and comfort and all the things he suspected Sasuke had denied himself.

 

_You’re both broken. You both have jagged edges. Walk carefully before you get an artery caught on one of those edges._

 

Naruto wiped the tears that had begun to form out of his eyes. Perhaps he was being foolish. Perhaps he was impetuous. What he felt for Sasuke, though, left him with few doubts. Whatever jagged edges they both had, he didn’t want to stop. He didn’t want to slow down, even. Life had handed him and Sasuke a bunch of shit when they were kids; Naruto was going to wrench every good thing he could from the life they had left—for each of them.

 

He practically charged Sasuke when he opened the door to the bathroom.

 

“Oomph! Moron,” Sasuke gasped as Naruto embraced him. “What are you doing?”

 

“Y’know, bastard, you’re pretty fucking wonderful,” he murmured.

 

Sasuke pulled back slightly and looked at him doubtfully. “Did you hit your head while I was in the shower?”

 

Naruto laughed, at himself as much as at Sasuke. “Nah. I just really like ya, that’s all.”

 

Sasuke’s expression softened just a bit as Naruto leaned in to kiss his forehead. “Sweat loses its somewhat specific cache fairly quickly, Naruto. You should shower off.”

 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m going. Here’s some clothes. Remember these?” He thrust the tee shirt and sweats at Sasuke.

 

“Some of mine. I’m happy to know I won’t be reduced to wearing orange,” Sasuke snipped.

 

“I kinda want to see what you look like in orange, to be truthful,” Naruto said. “You did call me a talking jack o’lantern that night.”

 

“I stand by the comparison. Now, get clean, Uzumaki. We have things to do.”

 

Naruto laughed and stole one more kiss.

 

 

 

They were on their way out the door when both their phones buzzed at once. Sasuke checked his phone irritably. “Sakura’s drunk texting, it would seem. Did you just get the same message?”

 

Naruto looked at his phone. His eyes bugged. “Oh, shit.”

 

A photo of a very flushed, apparently drunk Sakura being sloppily kissed by an attractive blonde in a purple bikini was accompanied by the text, “ _Sasuke ur no th onely one hehe.”_

 

Naruto looked at Sasuke, his mouth hanging open. Sasuke looked faintly amused through his irritation.

 

“It looks as if we’re the only ones she sent that particular message,” Sasuke murmured. “She’ll probably be relieved about that, at least, when she’s sober again.”

 

“Guess she’s having a good time on her vacation,” Naruto offered.

 

“Hah.” Sasuke’s sharp bark of laughter made Naruto jump. “That’s going to be one hell of a hangover.”

 

Naruto laughed. The entire experience was surreal, from Sakura’s bizarrely uninhibited message to Sasuke’s apparent glee at her potential embarrassment. The rest of their time together passed in the same surreal way, as if there had never been any reality other than this one, where he and Sasuke enjoyed ordinary Saturday afternoons together.

 

* * *

  


Naruto had agreed to bring Sarada over to swim with Boruto and Himawari later in the day while Sasuke handled some bookkeeping. Although he was exhausted and sore, he splashed around in the pool with Himawari as the two twelve-year-olds swam and talked about the upcoming school year and their martial arts classes.

Himawari was a ray of sunshine to Naruto. Her affectionate nature and easy laughter made it easier for him to see that the divorce had not completely destroyed his relationships with his children. He lacked that ease with Boruto, but while things remained awkward between the two, confrontations had become less frequent. He sometimes caught Boruto staring at him, as if he were reevaluating him. He waited, tensely, for Boruto to come to him of his own accord.

Himawari tired as they played, and soon, Naruto was holding his sleeping daughter while Boruto and Sarada talked. He desperately wanted to go inside and rest, but observing his son from a distance was too good of an opportunity to pass up. He was happy that Boruto liked Sarada; Sarada, he thought, could be a level influence on his impetuous son. She challenged him without demeaning him, a delicate balance that Boruto seemed to need.

Naruto enjoyed hearing their conversations (“If I have to hear Deidara-sensei say “superflat” one more time!” “I understand the point you’re making about the samurai, but I disagree.”); they confirmed to Naruto that the human race would be left in capable—or at least interesting—hands when his generation was forced into retirement.

After a while, he noticed that an oddly pale child had joined them. He listened distantly as they all introduced themselves. His attention drifted. He heard Boruto exclaim excitedly, “You’ll be going to our school, then!”

“That’s our principal over there,” Sarada said.

“Yeah, he’s my dad,” Boruto added. Naruto’s attention caught. Boruto hadn’t sounded disdainful or embarrassed. He felt a sliver of hope pierce through the misgivings he had about his relationship to his son.

“Come over and meet him, Mitsuki. You’ll like him a lot,” Sarada urged the pale boy. She lifted herself out of the pool and led Mitsuki over to where Naruto sat. “This is Principal Uzumaki. Principal Uzumaki, this is Mitsuki. He’s going to be at Konoha International in the fall.”

 

“Hey, Mitsuki! Glad to meet ya. And it’s Naruto, not Mr. Uzumaki, when we’re out of school.”

 

The pallid child looked at him tranquilly. “It’s nice to meet you.”

 

Naruto smiled at him. “I hope you’ll like our school, Mitsuki. Do you live in these apartments?”

 

The boy nodded. “My parent and I just moved here from Florida.”

 

Boruto and Sarada looked at each other briefly. “Why would you leave Florida to come here?” Boruto asked in disbelief.

 

“My parent wanted me to go to a school where Japanese is taught. They are a science writer and can live anywhere. We also are hoping that school here will be more accepting,” Mitsuki explained.

 

“Accepting?” Sarada asked.

 

“There was a good bit of bullying at my last school,” Mitsuki said.

 

“We like to look at our schoolmates and staff as family,” Naruto interjected. “We don’t tolerate bullying, so if you have trouble with anyone at our school, you come to me, OK?”

 

Sarada nodded. “Naruto is a great principal, and Mr. Nara is a good Vice Principal. They’ll take care of things if you tell them about it.”

 

“You’ll have plenty of friends, Mitsuki,” Boruto said. “You’ll have me and Sarada, and we won’t let anyone bother you. Believe me.” He nodded sharply.

 

Mitsuki smiled his oddly serene smile. “Thank you. I get insulted and left out a lot because of my parent. At my last school, the teachers didn’t really bother to step in. But I don’t want to be somewhere where my parent isn’t welcome.”

 

“Your parent? Why would people pick on you about your parent?” Boruto asked. “That’s stupid.”

 

“My parent is intersex and refuses to choose a binary gender identity. Many people, including parents and teachers, believe that it’s unnatural.” Mitsuki’s tone of voice never wavered; he seemed as rational and dispassionate as a documentary narrator, Naruto thought. He had a preternaturally adult way of speaking, and he was shockingly honest.

 

Boruto rolled his eyes. Sarada shook her head sadly.

 

“The idea that there are two genders and two genders only is unscientific,” Sarada offered. “It’s completely false.”

 

“It’s nobody’s business, besides,” Boruto said hotly. “Your parent is your parent, and you don’t have to explain anything to anybody. You let me know if anybody hassles you, I’ll set ‘em straight.”

 

A fierce, paternal pride welled up inside of Naruto. He was beginning to see Boruto blossoming into a leader. More importantly, he was seeing the son he’d come to regard as arrogant being empathetic and inclusive.

 

“Mitsuki, I promise you. Konoha International will not accept anyone speaking rudely about your parent in our school. Or about you. Everyone belongs in our school,” Naruto said. “And you’re also welcome to come over any time to our apartment. We live in building five.”

 

“This is a pleasant surprise,” Mitsuki said placidly. “I am looking forward to going to school with you all.”

 

“Mitsuki can bring his parent over some time, can’t he, Dad?” It was more of a statement than a question.

 

“Mhm! Of course!” Naruto readily agreed.

 

The three children drifted back into their own little world, talking about their favorite games and TV shows. Naruto felt protective of Mitsuki; the fact that adult teachers could stand idly by as a child was bullied infuriated him to his core. He was proud, however, to see his son and one of his best students responding so kindly to the unusual child. It confirmed to him that he had chosen the correct profession and that his work had borne fruit.

 

 

Eventually, Mitsuki drifted away. Boruto and Sarada tired of swimming, and they all trudged back to Naruto’s apartment. Naruto released Himawari onto her bed and flexed his sore arms with a yawn. This had been a long, physically demanding day, and he was ready for bed, whether the sun had fully set or not. He showered and changed, for the second time that day, and settled on his new couch while Boruto and Sarada lounged on the floor watching TV.

 

The sound of the apartment door opening jolted Naruto out of his unplanned nap. Sasuke had let himself in. Naruto smiled at him sleepily, and just briefly, Sasuke’s usually guarded expression softened as they peered at each other.

 

“Come, Sarada. We have to be going,” Sasuke told his daughter.

 

“Papa, may I stay a little longer? Boruto and I just started watching a movie,” Sarada asked. The query made Naruto grin. Sarada usually never asked him or Sasuke for special consideration.

 

Sasuke looked at Naruto and smiled slightly. “Hn. I think it’s past Principal Uzumaki’s bed time, Sarada.” His tone was almost playful, adjusting for the fact that he was still Sasuke.

 

“Don’t mind me, don’t mind me. You’re both welcome to stay as long as you like,” Naruto said. He was unable to stifle a yawn at the end of the sentence.

 

Sarada giggled, and even Boruto grinned at his inability to gloss over his obvious exhaustion. Sasuke raised his eyebrows and his lips quirked upwards briefly. Sarada stood and gathered her things.

 

“Thanks for having me over to swim, Naruto,” she said politely. “I had a good time today, Boruto.”

 

Boruto nodded and crossed his arms, but Naruto noticed that he was looking at his feet.

 

“Sasuke, thanks so much for the sofa and for helping me move it,” Naruto said, rising to see his guests out.

 

“Yeah, really, Mr. Uchiha, thanks. My dad wasn’t ever gonna get one, I’m pretty sure,” Boruto added.

 

Sasuke nodded. “It was no problem.”

 

Naruto grinned mischievously. “Did you get any more interesting texts today, Sasuke?” he asked slyly. Sasuke smiled slightly more than usual; his eyes sparkled.

 

“Not so far. You?”

 

“Nope, just the one,” Naruto answered.

 

Their children looked on bemusedly.

 

“See you later, usuratonkachi,” Sasuke said softly. He awkwardly patted Naruto’s shoulder once before he and Sarada slipped out the door.

 

Naruto felt an unaccountable sense of loss, sending Sasuke out the door without a kiss or a hug. Even though he knew he’d see him in a few more days, he wasn’t yet ready to let him go. He sighed and walked back to the sofa and sat heavily.

 

He had begun to doze off again when Boruto sat beside him.

 

“Dad?” Boruto’s voice was hesitant and soft.

 

Naruto opened his eyes and looked at his son. “Yeah, Bolt?”

 

“Can we talk about Kiba?”

 

Naruto sat up straight. “Has he been to your house again?”

 

Boruto shook his head emphatically. “No. Not about that.”

 

Naruto regarded Boruto carefully. “OK, Boruto. Sure. What do you want to talk about?”

 

Boruto looked at his hands and inhaled slowly. “That day you picked me up from the mall…” he began, “did you… Dad… did you _hit_ him?”

 

Naruto’s stomach turned. All the shame over how he had dealt with Kiba returned tenfold. He put his face in his hands.

 

“Dad?”

 

Naruto breathed out with a sharp huff and dragged his hands through his hair. “Yeah, son. I did. I’m not proud of it. I believe it was wrong. But I did it.” He forced himself to look into Boruto’s eyes.

 

“Then why? If you think it’s wrong, why’d you do it?” Boruto looked and sounded confused.

 

Naruto searched his mind for the words to explain what he could not rationalize. “When you told me that he’d been bothering your mother, I was angry. More than angry. I had… rage. Huge rage inside of me. I wasn’t thinking. I wasn’t being reasonable. I just acted on the rage I felt.”

 

“But why? He’s the one who hit you, isn’t he?” Boruto asked, even more bewildered than he had been.

 

Naruto nodded. “Then why didn’t you hit him then, when he hit you first? Why did you hit him after he talked to Mom? You aren’t even married to her anymore!” The words tumbled out of Boruto’s mouth like water breaching a dam.

 

Naruto shook his head. “Boruto, the thought of anyone hurting or threatening you, Himawari, or your mother is my worst fear. I couldn’t stand the idea of your mom feeling unsafe in her own home. I overreacted, and I reacted badly.”

 

“So, are you saying you still _love_ Mom?” There was no note of accusation in his voice; just frustration and lack of comprehension.

 

“Yeah, Bolt. I still love your mom. Not the way she needs a husband to love her, but… yeah. As someone who is precious to me, I love her, and I will always love her,” Naruto said slowly.

 

A tense moment passed as father and son sat lost in their own thoughts.

 

Boruto finally broke the silence. “Dad.”

 

“Yeah, son?”

 

“I don’t blame you. I mean,” Boruto scratched his cheek absent-mindedly as he tried to formulate his thoughts, “I would have done it. But I woulda hit him when he came after me the first time.”

 

“Maybe you feel like that, now, son, but trust me, there’s a better way of handling these things,” Naruto said tiredly.

 

“Dad, do you regret marrying Mom?” Boruto sounded like a very small child instead of a self-assured preteen.

 

“No!” Naruto exclaimed. “Not at all. I loved your mother when I married her, and I love her, now. She gave me a family. She gave me _you._ The thing I wanted most in life, your mother made possible. The only regret I have about my marriage is that I didn’t know how to give your mother the life she deserved. _Couldn’t_ give her the life she deserved.”

 

Boruto squinted as he took in Naruto’s words. “I guess I really still don’t understand,” he said.

 

Naruto’s jaw tensed. “I know it doesn’t make sense, Boruto. And I honestly hope it never really makes sense to you, because I hope you don’t make the same mistakes in life that I have.”

 

“Dad.” Boruto sounded slightly annoyed. “I don’t understand completely, but I understand a little. I’m still pissed at you for a lot of sh--” he broke off, heeding the warning in Naruto’s eyes, “ _stuff_ , but I feel like I understand you a little, now.”

 

Naruto was humbled by his son’s honesty. “Thanks, Bolt.”

 

“Dad?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“You being gay… that… I don’t care about that. I… I’m not angry at you about that. I didn’t get it, how you could be married to Mom for so long and just now figure it out, but… I’m not ashamed of you for liking men.”

 

Tears stung Naruto’s eyes as he reappraised the young man sitting beside him. “That means a lot, Bolt. Thanks,” he murmured hoarsely.

 

Boruto cracked a smile. “It’s nothing, old man.”

 

Naruto hugged him, taking a moment to inhale the scent of his son’s hair. It had been so long since he’d been able to hug Boruto.

 

Boruto squirmed out of the embrace and smoothed down his hair. “You know, Dad, if you were to like some guy...” he trailed off and looked at Naruto sharply. “If you were to, you know, maybe fall in love with a guy one day… I won’t… I mean, I don’t think I’d _hate_ you for it.”

 

Naruto felt a lump form in his throat.

 

“Th… Thanks, son,” he stammered.

 

Boruto rolled his eyes and waved him off. “But Dad, fair warning.”

 

Naruto’s fingers went cold.

 

“If someone ever calls you names or tries to hurt you because of your orientation, I’m going to beat the shit out of them,” Boruto said vehemently.

 

Naruto sank back into the couch and laughed as Boruto looked on, a martial gleam in his eyes. He couldn’t bring himself to reprimand his son for either his language or the violent sentiment.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everybody! Happy holidays to those as celebrate them. I hope this chapter is enjoyable for you. In the next chapter, Sasuke and Naruto take their trip. What do you all think about Sakura's text?
> 
> Thanks so much to all of you lovely readers. I have so appreciated everyone who has read, commented, and left kudos. It has been so encouraging. I truly enjoy reading your thoughts on the characters and the plot. LOTS of love.
> 
> You can follow me on Tumblr at https://uchihabride.tumblr.com/


	22. What I Say, What I Mean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sasuke takes Naruto out for a weekend in the country.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: EXPLICIT. Boy/Boy stuff. Lots of it.

Sakura’s homecoming had been a cause for low-key celebration for Sasuke and Naruto. The two men had spent precious little time alone together since she’d left for Belize, and the frustration at being unable to touch each other had nearly congealed into something tangible. They’d resorted to stealing away for quick trips to grocery stores or take-out restaurants just to have a few moments to hold hands or to kiss briefly in the car.

 

The excitement about going out of town with Sasuke, away from the curious eyes of their children for an entire weekend, had Naruto nearly buzzing with anticipation. Although he usually left off packing until the last moments before an excursion, he had packed and repacked his duffel three times by Tuesday evening. By Thursday evening, he was a bundle of unstoppable energy. On Friday morning, he woke unusually early. Unable to control himself any longer, he locked up his apartment and walked down to the front office to wait for Sasuke a full hour before they had arranged to meet.

 

He had another reason for his excitement. He had been invited to do a presentation on meaningful discipline at a national conference for school principals in the fall. His fee had been waived by the conference since he was presenting; the school board, in addition, had agreed to pay for his airfare as well as that of a spouse or significant other. Since the conference would be held in southern California, it would be an amazing opportunity to take Sasuke somewhere different.

 

More than that, it would be the opportunity he’d been waiting for to come out to his peers and to bring his and Sasuke’s relationship into the open. He had spent every night of the past week rehearsing how he would ask Sasuke to go.

 

He was already standing, bouncing on the balls of his feet, when Sasuke pulled up to the front of the apartment offices. Sasuke smirked at him knowingly and opened his trunk. Naruto still couldn’t stop moving when he sat down in the passenger seat.

 

“Hey, Sasuke!” he enthused. He kissed the dark-haired man on the lips and sat back, but his leg continued to jiggle. “How are ya?”

 

“I’m fine,” Sasuke said, clearly amused at Naruto’s energy. “Do we need to stop at a field and let you exercise yourself?”

 

“Huh?”

 

_He just insulted you, dumbass._

 

Sasuke chuckled. The sound rolled over Naruto, making him feel warm and alive. “Do we need to let you burn off some energy?” he clarified.

 

“Heh! Nah. I’m just excited to see you. It feels like it’s been forever!” he replied.

 

Sasuke smiled softly, the way Naruto had only seen him do when they were alone together. He’d missed those smiles as much as he’d missed the passion of their kisses. They had seen each other, of course; they just hadn’t had as many opportunities for intimacy.

 

“Did Sakura tell you any more about her new girlfriend?” he asked Sasuke.

 

“Tch. She’s more likely to gossip with you than with me,” Sasuke replied.

 

“I didn’t predict that!” Naruto said with a laugh. “But she did say one time that I had no gaydar.”

 

“Hn.” Sasuke smiled somewhat diabolically. “How many years of your life did it take you to figure out that you, yourself were gay? If gaydar exists, then I’d say that proves that you definitely don’t have it.”

 

“You’re one to talk!” Naruto protested, laughing even harder.

 

“Hn.” Sasuke’s smile broadened. “I never claimed that as a special power to begin with.”

 

“Do you think she’s really serious about this Ino chick?” Naruto asked.

 

“Don’t know. It has nothing to do with me.”

 

“Aw, Sasuke, c’mon. Aren’t you curious?”

 

“No,” Sasuke answered flatly. Naruto didn’t believe him, but he did not press the issue any further.

 

“So, where are we going? It has to do with animals? Is it a zoo?”

 

Sasuke’s laugh sounded like a cough. “Did you really think I was taking you to a zoo for a weekend?”

 

“You asked if I was allergic to any animals. And I’m not, but then I was thinking that I could be allergic to flamingos or zebras or something, but I just never knew about it because I’d never been around any.”

 

“I have never heard anyone actually speak in run-on sentences except for you,” Sasuke said. “You’ll be relieved to know that you will encounter no zebras or flamingos.”

 

“So where are we going, then? If it has to do with animals and it isn’t a zoo. Oh, is it a farm? Or a circus?” Naruto asked. He realized he sounded ridiculous, but Sasuke had been so mysterious about the outing that his imagination ran rampant.

 

“Not a farm. And a circus, dobe? Really?”

 

Sasuke’s voice was lighter than usual, betraying the humor he found in the conversation.

 

“Then where?” Naruto wheedled. “Where are we going with animals?”

 

Sasuke sighed. “A friend of mine is a wildlife rehabilitator. He’s going out of town for a training. We’re going to stay at his house and tend some of the animals while he’s away. I will be tending to some of the animals, I should say. I’ve done it before. You can watch while I do those chores, or you can wander around his property or relax.”

 

Naruto’s excitement only built. “What kind of animals does he have, Sasuke? They’re wild animals?”

 

Sasuke nodded. “They’re animals that cannot survive in the wild, but aren’t domesticated, either. Most will be released when they recover from whatever injury or illness they’re suffering. A few are permanent.”

 

“And your friend does this professionally? That is so cool!” Naruto loved animals; he’d spent a lot of time with strays as a child, many times relating better to them than to his own classmates or foster siblings. His favorite home, before Jiraiya had taken him in, had been with an elderly lady with a host of cats and dogs; Kakashi had trained service dogs, too, and Naruto had always loved being around his pack.

 

“Can I help, if you show me how?” he asked, pleadingly.

 

“Maybe. It depends on what Jugo has right now,” Sasuke said.

 

“Your friend’s name is Jugo? How do you know him?”

 

Sasuke stiffened imperceptibly. “We were in a group home together.”

 

“Oh!” Naruto said. “I was in a few of those at different times.”

 

Sasuke smiled again. “I hope yours weren’t like the one Jugo and I were in,” he said. “We broke out together when we were fifteen.”

 

“You broke out of group home? Wow,” Naruto exclaimed. The few times he’d been in group homes, he’d been scared almost literally stiff.

 

“Thus beginning my life of crime,” Sasuke said tightly.

 

“I always wanted to leave group home when I was there,” Naruto confessed. “I was scared I’d get sent somewhere worse, though.”

 

“A legitimate fear,” Sasuke said. Naruto realized he didn’t want to talk anymore about the topic, so he changed the subject.

 

“I’m really excited I get to meet one of your friends,” he said. He was glad Sasuke had a good friend that he’d kept up with. He knew he must mean something to the dark-eyed man if he had maintained the friendship for such a long time.

 

“You already know Sakura,” Sasuke replied. He sounded amused at Naruto’s excitement.

 

“Yeah, but I knew her before I knew you. This is someone I didn’t know before,” Naruto tried to explain. Sasuke’s eyes crinkled at the corners. He reached for Naruto’s hand.

 

“Jugo is really quiet,” he said. “Don’t take offense if he isn’t talkative with you.”

 

“Gaara’s really quiet, too,” Naruto said. “And you’re quiet, and I get along with both of you.”

 

“Jugo’s quieter than I am.”

 

This surprised Naruto. “He’s quieter than you? Does he talk at all?”

 

Once again, Sasuke laughed. “Yes. He talks. Just infrequently. Whatever he tells you, be sure to listen. It’ll be important.”

 

Naruto frowned. He wondered if Jugo would be standoffish and intimidating, or if he would only speak to voice his displeasure. Naruto was generally confident in his ability to make friends, but a certain sort of person—stiff, with rigid expectations of perfection—seemed to be allergic to him. He hoped Jugo would not be like that. He really wanted to be on good terms with Sasuke’s friend.

 

“Don’t be nervous, Naruto,” Sasuke said. He rubbed his thumbs over Naruto’s knuckles comfortingly.

 

“Heh. I guess it shows,” Naruto laughed. “I just don’t want him to hate me.”

 

Sasuke smiled. “Jugo couldn’t possibly hate you. Jugo has only ever hated two people that I’ve known of,” he said reassuringly.

 

“Who did he hate? Because maybe it was two people just like me.”

 

“Tch.” Sasuke hid his laughter behind a cough. “It was definitely not two people just like you—aside from the fact that there could hardly be another person, much less two others, who’d ever be remotely like you, usuratonkachi.”

 

Naruto blushed and looked down. He felt as if Sasuke had just paid him one of his backhanded compliments. Looking at the man from the corner of his eye, he could see that he was blushing, as well. His stomach fluttered and his heart found a new rhythm.

 

_You have shit for brains every time that son of a bitch looks sideways at you._

 

He couldn’t lie to himself; his inner critic was pretty much on the mark, there.

 

He watched out the window as the coastal plains gave way to spruce-lined hills. He and Sasuke chatted amiably as they drove. It was easy to be with Sasuke, but there was a new tension between the two men that they both seemed aware of. This weekend meant something to Sasuke, Naruto was certain; it meant something to him, as well.

 

He wanted badly to ask Sasuke about the conference in September. He had bitten his tongue many times just as he’d almost given into the impulse. If he asked prematurely, and Sasuke wasn’t quite ready for such a trip, then their entire weekend could end up being strained.

 

“It’s so beautiful out here,” he sighed.

 

“You haven’t ever been into the hills?” Sasuke asked.

 

“I have, but not often. It’s a different kind of beauty from the coast.”

 

“It is,” Sasuke agreed. “Different in many ways. Jugo’s property is a bit wild, but it’s very peaceful. There’s a creek that runs through it. If you feel like it, we could swim at some point.”

 

“I’d love to swim!” Naruto said enthusiastically.

 

“It’ll be cold,” Sasuke warned. “It’s fed by springs and runoff from the mountains.”

 

“Doesn’t matter. I totally wanna swim,” Naruto countered.

 

Sasuke glanced at him. “We’ll do our best to swim, then.”

 

They exited at a rather large town.

 

“Are we close?” Naruto asked.

 

“Somewhat,” Sasuke answered. “This is the last sizable town before we get to Jugo’s. He’s a vegan, so we need to get some groceries before we get there.”

 

“Ah, OK. Will he be mad at us for cooking animal products in his house?” Naruto inquired nervously.

 

“No. He knows I’m not vegan. Most of the animals he cares for are either carnivores or omnivores, so he’s used to animal products being in his house. He just chooses not to eat them.”

 

Naruto trailed alongside Sasuke as he loaded a cart with fresh vegetables and fruits.

 

“Is there anything you want, Naruto?” he asked. “You should speak up if there is. We’ll be in a rural area without good grocery shopping for the next couple of days.”

 

 _You’d better speak up. He could be the type to resort to cannibalism. I wouldn’t exactly put it past_ you _._

 

“I really like the food you cook, Sasuke. So whatever you think is best,” he answered. He wasn’t lying; Sasuke was an excellent cook. “Oh. Could we get some cereal?” he asked.

 

The look Sasuke gave him was not exactly cross, but Naruto could tell that the question did not make him happy. He almost looked _wounded_.

 

“I was going to make your breakfasts, but if you’d rather have cereal, we’ll get it,” he answered.

 

_Control freak._

 

Naruto laughed and linked his arm with Sasuke’s, earning them a few sideways looks from some of the other shoppers.

 

“I love your breakfasts, Sasuke. I just like cereal as a snack between meals.”

 

This seemed to mollify Sasuke slightly, and they continued shopping until they had a small selection of foods for the next two and a half days.

 

Shopping with Sasuke always made Naruto feel oddly serene and giddy at once. It made him feel as if they were building something real and strong, not just experimenting sexually or trying to live apart from reality in some sort of romantic daydream. He loved watching Sasuke on these trips, the way he was fast and efficient yet thorough at the same time.

 

From the grocery store, they drove on mostly state and county roads into ever-deepening solitude. They drove for almost an hour longer before they turned down a dirt road, driving for a mile to the very end to pull into the driveway of an old, shaded farmhouse. The scent of fresh pine and spruce hung in the air.

 

“Wow, this is really cool!” Naruto said breathlessly. Sasuke just looked at him with his enigmatic half-smile.

 

They withdrew their bags from the trunk, along with the groceries they’d just bought, and walked towards the house. Just before they reached the steps, the screen door creaked open then slammed shut behind one of the tallest, largest men Naruto had ever seen.

 

“Sasuke, it’s good to see you,” the man said, extending one of his large hands to help Sasuke up the porch. Naruto was surprised to discover that his voice was soft and quiet.

 

“You, too, Jugo,” Sasuke answered. “Did we get here early enough?”

 

“Yes,” Jugo answered. “I still have a few hours before I have to leave. Is this Naruto?”

 

“Yes, Jugo. This is Naruto. Naruto, Jugo,” Sasuke said.

 

“Hi, Jugo. It’s nice to meet you,” Naruto said excitedly. “Sasuke told me that you help wild animals. That’s so cool!”

 

Jugo smiled gently. “It’s nice when you can help,” he said modestly. “Come on in and put your groceries away. I’ll carry your bags to your room.”

 

Naruto decided immediately that he liked Jugo. The huge man seemed to exude kindness and gentleness, and he was glad that Sasuke had a friend like that.

 

_It’s called “opposites attract,” moron._

 

The hardwood floors creaked beneath their feet as they walked into an old-fashioned kitchen. Only the refrigerator and oven seemed modern. Sasuke put their groceries away as Naruto took in his surroundings. He was happy to see a pothos plant thriving in the window, twining its many tendrils along the curtain rod and up the cabinets.

 

“I’ll show you where everything is, Naruto,” Sasuke said over his shoulder as he exited the kitchen. Naruto followed behind him, eyeing everything in the house as he did so. Jugo seemed to live very simply; the house was minimally furnished and almost completely unadorned.

 

“Here’s the bathroom,” Sasuke said, opening the door to a small, sunny space in the hall at the top of the stairs. The floor was tiled with honeycomb tiles. The bathtub was huge, resting on four clawed feet.

 

“Wow, that bathtub is gigantic!” Naruto breathed. He was already thinking of how easily he and Sasuke would fit into it together. They’d never had a bath together before.

 

“Hn. Pull the cord to turn on the light,” Sasuke said, unaware of Naruto’s newly carnal train of thought. “The plumbing’s old. Throw away toilet paper, never flush it,” he instructed.

 

“Got it,” Naruto said. He followed Sasuke farther down the hall.

 

“Here’s our room,” Sasuke announced. The room was small. The double-sized, iron bedstead monopolized most of the space. A window looked out upon the rear portion of the property.

 

“Hey, I think I can almost see the creek!” Naruto said. He was enjoying this new environment. Something about it seemed homey and comforting, and just exactly right for a man like Jugo.

 

He noticed a photograph on the side table and picked it up. A much younger Jugo stood in the center. Around him stood a thin, white-haired boy in a crop top, a teenage girl with red, asymmetrically cut hair, and a scowling, impossibly young Sasuke.

 

“Oh, my god, Sasuke! This is you!” he shouted. “You were so young and cute!”

 

Sasuke grunted in acknowledgment. “I forgot he had that picture.”

 

Naruto peered intently at the teenage visage of the Sasuke in the photo. “How old were you here? You are so adorable.”

 

“Hn. Fifteen, sixteen, maybe,” Sasuke muttered.

 

“You look really mad. Kinda scary,” Naruto commented.

 

At that, Sasuke snatched the photo from Naruto’s hands and laid it face-down on the table.

 

 _Are you really,_ really _going to let him treat you that way?_

 

“Come on, usuratonkachi. Jugo has to show us how to care for the animals.”

 

Naruto stood for a moment, stunned by Sasuke’s abrupt change of mood. He blinked once as Sasuke whirled around and strode out the door, then trailed behind him, still bewildered.

 

Jugo was waiting for them outside. Naruto sneaked glances at Sasuke as they walked behind the giant man, but his face was impossible to read. He stared ahead stoically, sparing Naruto neither a glance nor a word.

 

They walked past a barn to an outdoor area where several cages were grouped together. Some, Naruto noticed, were tall—easily 10 to 12 feet in height—while others were smaller and grouped in stacks.

 

A movement in one of the cages caught his eye. He turned to see a small, red fox staring at him almost quizzically.

 

“You have a fox!” he exclaimed.

 

“Yes. He was separated from his mother as a kit. She was likely killed. Someone found him in very poor condition and brought him to me. He’s almost ready to be released, now,” Jugo explained.

 

“But… isn’t he still too young? He still looks almost like a baby,” Naruto protested.

 

“He’s a juvenile. That’s the best time to release him. If I wait too long, he’ll never understand how to live in the wild.”

 

“Couldn’t you keep him as a pet?” Naruto asked. He identified a bit too closely with being turned out of a home at an early age.

 

“It wouldn’t be fair to him,” Jugo said. “He wouldn’t be domesticated, but he wouldn’t be wild, either. It would be very hard for him.”

 

“Naruto, Jugo knows what he’s doing,” Sasuke said sharply.

 

Chastened and uncomfortable, Naruto looked down.

 

“It’s a common question, Naruto,” Jugo said softly. “It’s better to ask than to guess.”

Naruto smiled at him, appreciating the kind words.

 

“Sasuke,” Jugo said, “Garuda is here again.”

 

Sasuke’s eyes widened slightly. “Again? After all this time?”

 

“Yes. She will be here permanently, now. She was found with a shoulder wound. She won’t be able to compete in the wild anymore. We suspect that her mate was killed when she was wounded.”

 

“Can I see her?” Sasuke asked, and Naruto could hear the anticipation in his voice.

 

“She’s in the aviary, last enclosure,” Jugo responded. Without another word, Sasuke strode off.

 

“Who is Garuda?” Naruto asked. He felt incredibly out of place and stupid; Sasuke had been cold to him ever since he had remarked about the photograph, and he and Jugo clearly had a long history with each other. It didn’t seem that there was a place for Naruto amongst them.

 

“Garuda is a golden eagle. I cared for her when she was a small eaglet. Sasuke was here frequently during that time. He has a special way with her. He was here when she fledged,” Jugo said.

 

“So she’s tame?” Naruto asked.

 

Jugo looked askance at him. “Being injured and contained doesn’t make something tame,” he said, and though his voice was not sharp, Naruto comprehended the reprimand in his words.

 

“But Sasuke has a way with her? How long was she gone?”

 

“She left here about 13 years ago. Eagles are solitary birds. They mate for life. They don’t tolerate humans, or even hawks other than their mates, usually. But Garuda always tolerated Sasuke. They have an understanding.”

 

Naruto listened in astonishment. There was so much depth to Sasuke; he felt that he was over his head, floundering stupidly.

 

“You must really be special to Sasuke.” Jugo’s words jolted him out of his melancholic musings.

 

“Uhm. I… well… he’s special to me,” Naruto stammered. At the moment, he wasn’t sure what he meant to Sasuke, other than a source of annoyance.

 

“He has never brought anyone here before,” Jugo said with a slight smile.

 

“I hope it was OK with you,” Naruto said hastily.

 

“It’s fine. You’re welcome here. I’m glad he has company. Sometimes I think he is too lonely.” Jugo looked at him intently as he spoke.

 

“I’ve been on his nerves today,” Naruto muttered.

 

Jugo’s laugh was deep and rich. “Everyone gets on Sasuke’s nerves,” he said. “It doesn’t mean anything.”

 

Naruto grinned. Jugo’s words had comforted him. They walked off together towards the aviary, where a number of birds—mostly raptors—were kept in tall cages to recuperate from whatever injuries had placed them into Jugo’s care. Sasuke stood inside one of the cages, peering at a large, alert golden eagle. The eagle peered right back into his eyes.

 

“Is that Garuda?” Naruto whispered, awed by the giant bird.

 

“That’s Garuda,” Jugo affirmed.

 

Sasuke held out his arm. To Naruto’s amazement, the bird glided down from her perch and came to rest on his forearm. Naruto gasped at the sight of the intimidating bird of prey perching on Sasuke’s arm so familiarly.

 

“Be careful, Sasuke,” Jugo warned. “You should be wearing a gauntlet if you’re going to do that.”

 

Sasuke just snorted in reply.

 

“I thought her shoulder was injured. But she just flew down to Sasuke,” Naruto said, confused.

 

“She can glide for small distances, but she can’t extend her wing fully. She’d never be able to hunt as well as she should, and she’d be vulnerable to predators in the wild,” Jugo said.

 

Naruto watched in wordless awe as Sasuke stroked Garuda’s head with his finger. Something in his face reminded Naruto of an ancient god or legendary warrior; tenderness met with wildness and ferocity of spirit in his dark eyes. No one seemed to exist other than Sasuke and the eagle on his arm.

 

His knees literally went weak. His eyes stung. He knew, in this moment, that there was no going back. He loved Sasuke. He loved him as he had never loved anyone else.

 

_Goddammit. You need to get some space. Right now. He’s just a man with a bird on his arm. Get over yourself._

 

His stomach turned uncomfortably. He’d been skirting this edge for a few weeks, he knew, but he had now just gone over. He slowly became aware that Jugo was staring at him in concern.

 

He was lost in his thoughts as Sasuke released Garuda and began talking to Jugo about where the animals’ food was kept and when they should be fed.

 

“… is thawed, in the refrigerator in the barn,” he heard Jugo say. “There’s a clipboard with schedules, one for raptors, one for songbirds, and one for mammals. There are special concerns listed for each, too. You have my number, call me if anything appears out of the ordinary. The veterinarian’s number is posted in the barn and by the house phone.”

 

He panicked slightly when he realized that Jugo was taking his leave of them, and that he’d now be alone with Sasuke.

 

_He snaps at you. Ignores you. Then, suddenly, add an eagle, and it’s love._

 

Naruto fumbled with the hem of his shirt, wishing desperately that he had something to occupy his hands. He felt more uncomfortable than he had in months, more uncomfortable than he’d ever felt with Sasuke before. He wasn’t sure how they were supposed to interact, now, between Sasuke’s apparent irritation with him and his sudden discovery of his deepening emotions.

 

Sasuke came to stand beside him as Jugo got into his old, dented truck and backed out of the driveway.

 

“You hungry, Naruto?” he asked.

 

“Uh, yeah. I guess I am,” Naruto murmured.

 

Sasuke looked at him for a moment. “What’s wrong?”

 

Naruto looked up at him. “I don’t know what I did that got on your nerves, Sasuke, but I’m sorry. I wish you’d just tell me when I upset you.”

 

Sasuke sighed and looked away for a moment. “You didn’t do anything to upset me, dobe. I’m just moody. Come on. It was a long drive, and this is the longest you’ve gone without eating since I’ve known you.”

 

He took Naruto’s hand and led him back into the house.

 

Sasuke was an adept cook, and he quickly had a chicken and vegetable stir-fry ready for them to eat. Naruto, for his part, tried to assist. He succeeded mostly, though, in convincing himself that he was superfluous to needs, and he soon sat down and lost himself in the confusing chiaroscuro of his warring thoughts.

 

Sasuke frowned as he set his plate in front of him.

 

“Usuratonkachi. What’s wrong?” he asked.

 

“Nothing, Sasuke,” Naruto mumbled. He took a bite of his food, grateful to be eating at last. “This is really good, thanks.”

 

“Hn.” Sasuke said nothing more as they ate, but Naruto caught him looking at him inquisitively a few times.

 

When both men had finished, Naruto stood to clear the dishes. He jumped in surprise when Sasuke grasped his wrist.

 

“Naruto.”

 

Naruto couldn’t look him in the eyes. He felt very small and foolish, and he feared finding confirmation of those feelings in Sasuke’s eyes.

 

“Look at me,” Sasuke commanded gently.

 

Naruto slowly looked up.

 

“Tell me, dobe,” Sasuke said. In his eyes, Naruto could see nothing but concern.

 

“You seemed so angry at me about the picture,” he replied after a moment’s silence. “You know Jugo so well, and I feel so stupid and out of place and I haven’t felt like this since I was a kid...”

 

He took a deep breath and bit his lip.

 

Sasuke took his face into his hands. “I wasn’t angry at you, Naruto,” he said quietly. “I just don’t like remembering that time of my life.”

 

Naruto swallowed and nodded.

 

“You’re not stupid, and you’re not out of place,” Sasuke went on. “I’m just an asshole.”

 

_You said a mouthful, brother._

 

“Y…”

 

Sasuke cut Naruto off by kissing him gently on the lips.

 

“I mean it, Naruto. I’m moody and distant. I’m thoughtless. But you didn’t do anything wrong at all. You’re here because… because I wanted you to be here. I want you here, Naruto.”

 

Naruto felt his face warming under Sasuke’s hands. “I should wash the dishes,” he muttered.

 

Sasuke grabbed him around the waist. “They’ll wait. Come on.”

 

Sasuke pulled him outside by the hand. They walked silently, hand-in-hand, past the barn and then past the aviary. When they entered the thicket of trees beyond the animals’ enclosures, Naruto could hear the babbling of running water. His breath caught when he finally saw the wide creek flowing over smooth rocks in the woods.

 

“Do you remember our first date?” Sasuke asked quietly.

 

Naruto nodded.

 

“You took me to one of your favorite places,” Sasuke reminded him.

 

Naruto smiled at the memory. He had been so nervous, yet so eager to be with Sasuke that day.

 

“This is one of my favorite places,” Sasuke said, pulling him close. “And I wanted you to be here with me.”

 

Naruto felt a lump rise in his throat. He had completely misjudged Sasuke’s responses.

 

“I want to kiss you, Naruto,” Sasuke murmured into his ear.

 

“Shut up and do it, then,” Naruto muttered back.

 

They both chuckled, warming themselves in the memory of their first awkward explorations. Sasuke smiled at him, and Naruto could see that the tension around his eyes had drained away. He felt uncharacteristically shy as Sasuke leaned into him and pressed their lips together.

 

Naruto bit back a moan that formed as soon as Sasuke’s tongue entered his mouth. Sasuke took control of the kiss, biting and sucking Naruto’s lips and thrusting his tongue against Naruto’s possessively. Naruto melted into Sasuke’s arms. This was certainly welcome after the maelstrom of emotions he’d felt earlier.

 

He was barely aware of Sasuke untying his track pants and lowering them. When the cool air touched his semi-erect cock, he hissed in surprise.

 

“Step out of your pants for me, Naruto,” Sasuke ordered. He knelt and pulled the pants legs over his feet as he lifted one leg and then the other.

 

“I’m not good at apologizing,” Sasuke said, his voice deep and husky. He flicked the head of Naruto’s cock with his tongue, making him draw in his breath sharply. He then fluttered it up and down over the underside.

 

“You’re… aaah! For… given, mmm,” Naruto moaned.

 

Sasuke licked over his balls before palming them gently.

 

“Naruto...” he said. “I want you to fuck my mouth. Do you understand? Don’t hold back.”

 

“Sa… su… ke… ahhh. O… OK.”

 

Sasuke took Naruto’s length into his mouth. Before Naruto knew it, he had swallowed almost the entire length. His throat muscles convulsed around Naruto’s member, making it swell and drool.

 

“Oh… So good...” he muttered. “Mhm, Sasuke, feels so good.”

 

Sasuke’s hands held his hips loosely. He bobbed his head, keeping his cheeks hollowed out. His tongue flattened against the underside of Naruto’s cock, making it feel unbearably good.

 

Sasuke’s hands moved from Naruto’s hips, cupping his ass firmly. He pulled Naruto towards himself as he sucked.

 

Sasuke’s pace increased; Naruto, in response, began to mindlessly thrust his hips. He looked down, and the lewd picture of his cock disappearing into Sasuke’s mouth made him throb.

 

“Gahh, Sas…”

 

Sasuke stared up at him. Tears streamed down his face as Naruto thrust a little too enthusiastically; saliva dripped out of the corners of Sasuke’s lips.

 

Aware that he’d gagged Sasuke, he attempted to still his hips; Sasuke gripped him and pulled him harder, though, encouraging him.

 

The tight, wet warmth of Sasuke’s mouth and throat made him delirious. He closed his eyes and ran his fingers through Sasuke’s soft, spiky hair, losing himself in his body’s sensations.

 

He gasped, and his eyes flew open. Something cool had touched his entrance. Sasuke was still ardently sucking his cock, but he had now brought his finger between Naruto’s cheeks, and it was coated in something slick and cold.

 

Sasuke delicately traced the outer rim of his opening, making the heat in his stomach grow. He stood still and allowed Sasuke to work without interference. He sucked in his breath when Sasuke’s fingertip pressed against the outer ring of muscles to enter him. It was a foreign feeling, and though it wasn’t completely unpleasant, it stung.

 

He focused on relaxing as Sasuke’s finger penetrated him completely. He began to rock his hips again as he became accustomed to the slender digit inside of him.

 

He was soon aware that being fingered was heightening the pleasure of being sucked off. He groaned as he thrust into Sasuke’s mouth.

 

Sasuke expertly moved his finger in time with his mouth, and soon, it was not just heightening the effects of the blow job, it was adding its own, distinct brand of pleasure.

 

Engulfed in Sasuke’s welcoming mouth, his cock strained as he thrust forward. Sasuke responded by sucking harder and faster. The finger inside of him trailed over a spot that made him quiver—almost the way it felt when Sasuke stimulated his perineum, but more intense.

 

“Fuck!” he shouted. In response, Sasuke pressed against the spot more firmly.

 

From that moment, Naruto lost himself. He was no longer aware of what he said or did. Nothing existed except for him and Sasuke, and the exquisite pleasure Sasuke was treating him to. He felt the tell-tale tightening that signaled impending orgasm.

 

“Sas… gonna come,” he groaned.

 

Sasuke sucked, swirling his tongue over the underside of Naruto’s cock. He came forcefully, the semen blasting out of him like a geyser.

 

“Sasuke!” he shouted. Sasuke didn’t stop, though, and even when he thought he had emptied himself, the finger pressed against the sensitive spot inside of him continued to extract pleasure from him.

 

“Anhg, Sasu… fuck… oh, Christ…” he whined helplessly. His legs turned to gel and his mouth ran dry as he succumbed to one wave of pleasure after another.

 

It was almost a relief when Sasuke released his cock and withdrew his finger. He sank to his knees and fell forward onto Sasuke’s shoulder.

 

“What the hell...” he gasped when he could finally talk.

 

Sasuke just chuckled and rubbed his back. “Does that mean you accept my apology?” he asked playfully.

 

“That kind of stunt could get you forgiven for murder,” he murmured.

 

“Tch.” Sasuke held him as his body recovered from the intensity of his orgasm.

 

“Sasuke… it’s so unfair. I don’t think I could ever make you come that hard,” he grumbled.

 

Sasuke just laughed and kissed his head. “You have before.”

 

“I had no idea getting fingered felt so good,” he muttered around a yawn.

 

Sasuke shook against him with silent laughter. “Silly boy,” he chided. “Come on. I bet you and I could both use a nap.”

 

“You didn’t get your turn,” Naruto whined.

 

“It was an apology, remember?”

 

“Hmph.”

 

“Come on, dobe. Let’s get back to the house and take a nap. It’s been a long day.” Sasuke stood and pulled Naruto up with him.

 

They walked in silence all the way back to the farmhouse, holding hands the entire way. Naruto contentedly snuggled into Sasuke’s arms as they slipped beneath the covers of the bed. He certainly felt as if he belonged, now, with Sasuke’s heart beating against his cheek and his arms wrapped around him protectively.

 

 _I love_ _this man_ _,_ he thought as he slipped into unconsciousness. _I love him, I love him, I love him._

 

He was so exhausted and sated that his inner critic couldn’t even respond.

 

 

* * *

  


Sasuke and Naruto woke late in the afternoon. Naruto wandered around the wild acreage while Sasuke gave snacks to the animals who needed them. In the evening, Sasuke made an Italian dish with chicken, fresh tomatoes, and herbs from Jugo’s garden. They sat on the giant porch swing after dinner, listening to the calls of the animals and the chirps of the crickets. Naruto rested his head on Sasuke’s shoulder. Sasuke put one arm around him, pulling him close, and Naruto felt safe and happy. Neither man budged until darkness fell around them.

They both sleepily trudged up to bed and prepared for sleep. When Sasuke had showered and taken out his contacts, he slipped beneath the covers facing Naruto. They kissed languidly, tongues sliding over each other gently.

Naruto massaged Sasuke’s neck and shoulders as they kissed, making him moan in relief. His muscles were tight; Naruto suspected the three hour drive as the culprit. Before long, he drifted off to sleep in Naruto’s arms. Naruto clasped him to his breast in peaceful contentment. His last thought as he drifted off was that he wished he could hold Sasuke this way all the time.

  


* * *

  


Sunlight streamed through the window when he awoke. Sasuke was not beside him. He stumbled down the hall to the bathroom, willing himself to become more alert. He quickly checked his messages after a brief shower, then made his way downstairs.

The aroma of coffee wafted through the downstairs rooms from the kitchen. Ambling into the sunlit room, he found a cup sitting by the coffee maker, but no sign of Sasuke other than the mug in the sink. He realized that Sasuke had to feed Jugo’s animals, so he walked outside with his coffee.

The little fox he’d seen yesterday slept in a far corner of his enclosure. He’d been hoping to find him awake and interact with him. He could tell that Sasuke had cleaned cages and left food in the mammals’ enclosures, so he walked on through to the aviary.

At the last enclosure, Naruto’s breath hitched. Sasuke stood, shirtless, Garuda perching upon his arm as she’d done the day before. Sunlight streamed over man and bird, burnishing the gold in the eagle’s feathers and creating a nimbus around Sasuke’s hair. Garuda spread her giant wings. Although her wounded shoulder did not allow her to extend them fully, they still spanned about six feet. Naruto gasped. It really did seem that Garuda and Sasuke had an understanding. He felt as if he were intruding upon something celestial and delicate.

_It’s a man with a bird on his arm. Nothing more. Nothing less. Stop being so ridiculous._

He grabbed his phone, struggling to keep quiet, and hastily snapped a photo of man and beast before backing away unannounced.

He was drinking his coffee on the porch swing some twenty minutes later when Sasuke reappeared. He kissed Naruto quickly and chastely on the lips, but would not embrace him. “I have to clean up. I have been cleaning cages and touching animals all morning,” he told Naruto. “We’ll make breakfast when I come back down.”

Naruto nodded, still awed by the vision of Sasuke in the aviary with Garuda. He realized that he must have spent a lot of time here, with Jugo and his animals, after leaving his criminal life behind. He imagined it must have been healing for an unmoored young man to spend his days in Jugo’s quiet company caring for animals—no one to judge him or set themselves above him.

Sasuke came down and sat beside him. “Crepes all right for breakfast?”

Naruto kissed his cheek. “You know I love everything you make. You want help?”

Sasuke shrugged. “Do you know how to make crepes?”

Naruto shook his head.

“That’s what I thought. I’ll teach you. It’s easy.” He stood and offered Naruto his hand an and led him back into the kitchen. Naruto noticed he’d set out some fresh blueberries.

Naruto watched as Sasuke produced flour, milk, eggs, and butter, then a bowl and a whisk. He motioned for Naruto to come closer.

“Measure out the flour, Naruto,” he said. “One cup.”

Naruto scooped the flour out of the bag. He was about to tap the cup to level it out.

“Tsk. Just spoon the excess back in,” he said. Naruto’s face grew warm. Sasuke was standing right behind him. His breath brushed his ear as he spoke.

He obediently spooned the excess flour back into the bag.

“Very good,” Sasuke murmured. “You don’t want to compress the flour or use too much. The crepes won’t be as light. Now, pour it into the bowl.”

Again, Naruto complied.

“Whisk the flour for me, Naruto,” Sasuke whispered, right in his ear.

“O… OK,” Naruto stuttered.

Sasuke chuckled behind him.

“Don’t stir… it’s like this...” Sasuke corrected, taking Naruto’s hand in his and moving it side to side. “That’s right. This will make the flour airier.”

“You’re distracting me,” Naruto croaked.

“Oh? Do you want some space?” Sasuke asked.

“No, that’s all right,” Naruto said quickly. “I’m a hands-on learner.”

 _Your_ hands _aren’t standing at attention right now._

“Make a well in the center of the flour,” Sasuke said into his ear. He punctuated his words with a nip at Naruto’s earlobe.

Naruto breathed in sharply. His mind was alert, but it wasn’t focused on the finer points of making crepes. Nevertheless, he did as Sasuke demanded, while the other man gripped his waist possessively.

“That’s right,” Sasuke said, when Naruto had satisfactorily carried out his task. “Now, we need three-quarters cup of milk. Right there in the well.” He lifted Naruto’s hair off of the nape of his neck and kissed it.

Naruto’s hands shook as he measured out the correct amount of milk and poured it into the bowl. Sasuke’s fingers traced circles over his neck.

“A half cup of water, now,” Sasuke breathed into his ear.

Naruto swore as he spilled some of the water out of the cup. “Dammit, Sasuke, I can’t concentrate when you’re like that.”

“I told you I can stop.”

Naruto groaned and leaned back against him. “Please don’t. Don’t stop. Even if it kills me and I ruin the crepes.”

“As if I’d let you ruin them,” Sasuke said teasingly. He kissed the top of Naruto’s head. “Now, measure the water… steady, now… exactly one half cup.”

Naruto poured the water in with the milk.

“Uh-huh. Good. Now. Crack two eggs into the well with the milk and the water.”

This was a much more difficult feat, with Sasuke kissing the nape of his neck and running his hands up and down his sides. The first egg went in just fine, despite his shaking hands. For the second, Sasuke took his hands into his own.

“Steady,” he directed, his hot breath tickling Naruto’s ear and stoking up the heat in his belly. Together, they cracked the egg into the bowl.

“Almost done,” Sasuke said. “There’s a small bowl with melted butter to the right of the mixing bowl… that’s it… pour that in with the other liquids.”

Naruto hummed in frustration as he carried out Sasuke’s orders.

“Excellent. Now, you mix it,” Sasuke said. His hands had found their way under Naruto’s shirt and were skimming along his belly.

Naruto couldn’t contain the moan that slipped past his lips. Sasuke’s fingers were having a wicked effect upon his concentration, but he’d be damned if he pushed him away.

“Don’t stir,” Sasuke chided. “Whisk.” Taking Naruto’s hand into his own once again, he guided him in the proper movements.

“There, that’s the way. Good work.” Naruto melted into Sasuke’s praise the same way he melted into his body. His voice in and of itself was a powerful aphrodisiac, deep and velvety and irresistible right up against his ear.

“That was excellent work, Naruto,” Sasuke said, turning him around to face him. “You are a fast learner.” He kissed Naruto slowly, prying his lips apart gently with his tongue.

Naruto soon found himself pressed against the counter. He unconsciously ground against Sasuke as they kissed.

All too soon, Sasuke pulled away again. “We have to rest the batter now, Naruto.”

Dejectedly, Naruto covered the bowl and set it in the refrigerator. Sasuke had begun whisking heavy cream with a sparse amount of sugar in another bowl.

“Come here, Naruto,” he ordered.

Naruto rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t stay away. He walked up to Sasuke and waited at his side.

“I don’t prefer sweets. Taste this and see if it’s to your liking.”

Naruto went to search for a spoon, but Sasuke grabbed him by the arm and stilled him.

“Here.” Sasuke dipped his finger into the cream and held it up to Naruto’s lips.

Naruto felt his eyes grow large. He tentatively licked some cream from the tip of Sasuke’s finger.

“That’s not a real taste,” Sasuke said with a smirk. He pushed his finger into Naruto’s mouth.

Horny and aggravated at Sasuke’s teasing, he sucked the cream-covered digit salaciously, swirling his tongue around it the whole time. He was gratified to see the color rise in Sasuke’s cheeks.

He pulled Sasuke’s finger out of his mouth. Grabbing a handful of the spiky, black hair, he pulled Sasuke to him forcefully and kissed him without a trace of teasing softness.

In response, Sasuke moaned into Naruto’s mouth and wrapped his arms around him. Naruto pulled back and buried his face in Sasuke’s neck, breathing him in as he kissed. Reaching his shoulder, he pulled Sasuke’s shirt collar aside and sucked the spot he knew made Sasuke weak, leaving a reddish purple bruise against the milky skin. Sasuke gasped, then moaned, attempting to pull Naruto’s body even closer.

When Naruto tried to unzip his jeans, however, he shoved him away. “We need to eat,” he said, his voice husky.

“I know exactly what I want to eat,” Naruto replied. “And it has nothing to do with fancy pancakes.”

_Well, isn’t that original._

“Crepes. Not pancakes,” Sasuke corrected.

“Doesn’t have anything to do with crepes,” Naruto amended. “Besides, the batter is resting. Don’t disturb it.”

Sasuke rolled his eyes but smiled. Naruto knew exactly what he wanted at this moment. He pulled Sasuke’s pants down around his ankles along with his underpants. His cock was half-hard. Naruto could have salivated at the sight; the pale pink head with one tiny, opalescent pearl at its tip seemed to beg for his lips.

He slid his tongue slowly over the head, then tongued into the slit gently. Sasuke breathed harder and leaned back against the counter. Naruto continued to flick his tongue over Sasuke’s rapidly hardening cock, paying especial attention to the vein-covered underside. He took his time tasting Sasuke and appreciating the feel of him on his tongue.

He took Sasuke into his mouth and sucked, pre-come spilling freely. Sasuke moaned as Naruto swallowed him down and began to move his head.

He longed to reciprocate the intense orgasm Sasuke had given him at the creek the day before, and he lamented the fact that he had not been nearly so prepared. The lube he had brought was upstairs, nestled into his duffel, not here where he and Sasuke were.

A wicked thought occurred to him. He was fairly certain that Sasuke would kill him, so he’d have to make sure that he was in the throes of bliss before he was aware of Naruto’s intentions.

Naruto took more and more of Sasuke down his throat, willing himself not to gag. He cupped Sasuke’s bottom in his hands and kneaded the tight flesh.

As Sasuke began to thrust gently into his mouth, he slipped his fingers between the firm half-spheres in his hands. Sasuke moaned loudly as he traced around the puckered flesh. Naruto was dying to sheath his fingers inside of Sasuke’s warmth, but he restrained himself, focusing instead on destroying his lover with pleasure.

Sasuke’s cock hit the back of his throat. Tears streamed out of Naruto’s eyes, and he drooled as he tried to adjust. Sasuke was always so giving, allowing and even encouraging Naruto to fuck his mouth wantonly, but Naruto almost always panicked on the rare occasion that Sasuke forgot himself during blow jobs. He’d work on overcoming his panic later. He’d find another way to make Sasuke feel good right now.

Reaching up to the counter, he fumbled until he found the bowl that had contained the cream He coated his fingers liberally. Sasuke was close, he could tell.

He slipped his middle finger inside of Sasuke cautiously, looking for signs of discomfort. Sasuke showed none, though, so he slipped his index finger inside, as well. The only response he got from Sasuke was a garbled curse and the enthusiastic rocking of his hips.

“Na… Nar… u… to… please,” Sasuke moaned.

Naruto obliged Sasuke, thrusting his fingers in and out of him rapidly as he sucked his cock. He finally bumped against his prostate. As Sasuke shuddered in response, he brushed over the sensitive protrusion rhythmically.

“Ha… ah, mmm,” Sasuke cried out as his seed shot into Naruto’s mouth. Naruto swallowed the hot liquid as best he could; Sasuke had come so hard and so forcefully that some of it pooled in his mouth and dripped down the corners of his lips.

Naruto continued to stroke over Sasuke’s prostate until Sasuke’s knees buckled and he gripped Naruto’s hair in protest against the overwhelming sensations.

Sasuke sank to his knees. Naruto kissed his face before turning him around. “Bend over for me, Sasuke,” he said.

Sasuke collapsed onto his elbows. Naruto hastily pulled his pants down, gripping his own nearly painfully erect cock in one hand. With the other, he spread Sasuke’s ass apart. He could see the remnants of the cream he had used to lubricate his fingers.

He plunged his tongue into Sasuke’s hole as he stroked his cock. He had rapidly come to crave Sasuke’s taste, and in no time, he was nearing his own orgasm. He slurped and sucked, laving Sasuke’s inner walls and cleaning away the evidence of his make-shift lubrication.

He pulled his face away as he felt his groin tighten. His semen spurted in ribbons over the pale skin of Sasuke’s ass. Naruto doubted he had ever seen anything as satisfying in his life.

He collapsed alongside Sasuke.

“You OK?” he asked.

Sasuke nodded and turned over onto his back. “I wasn’t expecting that,” he murmured.

Naruto laughed. “You should have expected that, the way you were teasing me earlier.”

Sasuke put his arm over his eye and… actually grinned. He looked so boyish and embarrassed that Naruto couldn’t resist kissing him.

“You’re so adorable,” he whispered. “Teasing me, getting me all worked up, then being all surprised that it ended up this way.

Sasuke’s blush deepened. He elbowed Naruto gently.

“If someone had ever made cooking this interesting when I was younger, I’d be a chef by now,” Naruto quipped. He sat up and stretched.

He stood up and looked around. He quickly located the paper towels and wet a few.

“Turn over, cutie,” he told Sasuke. Sasuke glared at him, but he was still blushing, and it did nothing but make Naruto chuckle. “Let me clean you off.”

Sasuke turned over and allowed Naruto to clean him perfunctorily. “We have to finish breakfast,” he scolded.

“You’re like a salmon, ya know?” Naruto laughed. “You’re gonna swim up that stream, no matter what, because you’ve got one goal and one goal only.”

Sasuke looked at him disparagingly. “A salmon, Naruto? Really?”

Naruto just laughed at him again and went to wash his hands.

When he came back into the kitchen, Sasuke was already heating the pan for the crepes.

“You gonna finish showing me how to cook these things?” he asked. Sasuke looked at him sideways.

“Think you can cook a crepe without attacking me?” he jabbed, raising one eyebrow.

“Bastard,” Naruto laughed. “You started it. C’mon. Teach me how to make fancy pancakes.”

Naruto was surprised at what a good teacher Sasuke actually was. The pride Naruto had felt when he managed to flip a crepe without a spatula could have competed with the way he’d felt the day he earned his Ph.D. Sasuke even smiled and kissed him after he managed that feat, and he kindly ignored the crepe Naruto inadvertently flipped onto the floor. When they sat down to eat, Naruto decided that crepes with fresh blueberries and whipped cream would forever be his favorite breakfast.

The rest of the day felt like a storybook idyll to Naruto. He and Sasuke skinny-dipped in the creek (Sasuke had smirked when Naruto screamed about the cold). He helped prepare foods for some of the animals, and the little fox had even raised its head and yipped at him when he passed by his enclosure. Lunch was leftover crepes wrapped around chicken seasoned with herbs and topped with a creamy sauce.

He and Sasuke sat on the porch swing, hands entwined as they sipped hot tea. He’d felt incredibly close to Sasuke all day.

“It’s so peaceful here,” he said.

“It is,” Sasuke agreed. “I have spent a lot of time here at various periods.”

“I can see why a person like Jugo would like it out here,” Naruto ventured. Sasuke looked at him darkly.

“What do you mean, a person like Jugo?” he asked.

“It’s calm. Like him. He seems so gentle and quiet. I can’t imagine him living anywhere else.”

Sasuke relaxed. “He is gentle and quiet. He’s a good friend.”

“I kinda don’t wanna go back to town after this,” Naruto laughed.

“Hn. Wait until you need a decent selection of produce or want groceries after eight pm,” Sasuke replied.

“You’re probably right. But it’s a great place to escape to,” Naruto said.

Sasuke smiled at him and put his arm around him. “Thank you for coming with me,” he said softly.

Naruto looked into his eyes. The depth of affection he saw in them made his entire body feel warm. “Thanks for bringing me,” he whispered, unable to find his voice.

Sasuke stared at him for a moment that felt like an eternity. He leaned forward and kissed Naruto softly on the forehead, then kissed each cheek. He pressed his lips gently to Naruto’s, and Naruto almost wept.

_You’ve been kissed before. Stop mooning about a kiss._

The warnings in his head were gradually drowned out by the immensity of his feelings for Sasuke, and by the feelings Sasuke was communicating in his kiss. He stroked Naruto’s hair and held him close. So many times, Naruto had felt almost as if he belonged. In Sasuke’s arms, though, he was certain that he belonged right here, with the enigmatic man who’d taught him the meaning of desire.

Sasuke’s tongue slipped over his bottom lip. He opened his mouth and welcomed him in.

Time seemed meaningless as they kissed. Evening began to fall around them; the temperature dropped, and the calls of night birds and wild animals in the forest joined with the song of the crickets. Naruto was utterly lost in Sasuke, and Sasuke in him. His hands reached for any part of him that he could hold—his hair, his shirt, his shoulder, his neck.

Sasuke pushed him back gently. “Do you want to go upstairs?” he asked.

Naruto nodded mutely.

The looked at each other silently as they stood. It seemed that they were crossing a divide by moving away from the porch swing and their heartfelt kisses.

Sasuke slowly led Naruto back inside and up the stairs. In the privacy of their room, they faced each other once more.

Sasuke’s eyes were huge. He looked innocent and childlike, and so unsure of himself. Naruto closed the distance between them and took him in his arms.

He kissed Sasuke’s lips chastely to let him know that there was no pressure. There would never be any sense of obligation between them, Naruto silently vowed, only mutual desire and mutual respect. Bit by bit, the tension drained away from Sasuke, and he became more pliant in Naruto’s embrace. It was Sasuke who deepened their kiss, who thrust his tongue impatiently into Naruto’s mouth.

And it was Sasuke who tore at Naruto’s clothes as their lips collided over and again. Naruto tugged his shirt over his head, then pulled Sasuke’s off as well. Sasuke’s skin against his felt so perfect. He kissed the sharp angle of his jaw, then his neck. He licked over the delicate shell of his ear, then gently sucked and nipped his earlobe.

He ran his palms over the muscular lines of Sasuke’s back and waist, then over his taut belly. His lips trailed down Sasuke’s throat to his chest. He swept his tongue over one nipple, then the other, cupping Sasuke’s ass as the dark-haired man moaned in response to the attention.

No longer content to cede all of the control to Naruto, Sasuke leaned in and bit his shoulder, leaving the indentations of his teeth as he sucked and licked. Naruto cried out in a surprised mixture of pain and pleasure.

Sasuke rubbed his thumbs over Naruto’s pink nipples, eliciting a deep moan from the blond. Sasuke responded by bending and taking one into his mouth to suckle, then lavishing the same attention upon its twin.

“Sasuke…” Naruto moaned pleadingly.

Impatient hands fumbled with buttons and zippers. Both men stripped out of their pants quickly. Their embrace became almost painful as they sought the maximum amount of contact. Hands roved feverishly over pebbled skin. Lips and tongues and teeth left their marks on chests and necks, then collided in increasingly urgent kisses.

Naruto reached down and took Sasuke’s cock into his hand. It was fully erect, dripping and demanding attention. He brushed the head over his own, and both men moaned. He gripped Sasuke and hefted him up, and when Sasuke wrapped his legs around Naruto’s waist, their cocks slid against each other heatedly. They bucked their hips and ground against each other. Sasuke bit at Naruto’s lower lip; through the haze of pleasure, he could distantly sense the pain. He didn’t care. If anything, it only heightened and complemented the pleasure.

Sasuke clung to him, his legs around his waist and his arms around his neck. Naruto walked to the bed and laid him down carefully. Sasuke immediately pulled him back down into an intense lip lock. They frotted against each other, cock against cock.

Sasuke pushed Naruto back.

“Are you OK, Sasuke?” Naruto asked, concerned.

Sasuke swallowed. “I want you.”

“You have me, Sasuke,” Naruto replied, cupping Sasuke’s face in his hand.

“I want you… I want you, Naruto. Inside of me,” Sasuke growled.

Naruto studied his face carefully. He looked irritated at having to express himself so plainly, but he also looked nervous.

“Are you sure, Sasuke?”

“Stop asking me that. I’m sure, Naruto.”

Naruto laughed and took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry. I just want to be sure,” he said.

Sasuke frowned. “Do you not want to?”

Naruto kissed him. “I want to so badly.”

“Then, is there a problem?”

Naruto leaned his forehead against Sasuke. “There’s no problem. Just give me a minute.”

He pulled himself up and away from Sasuke and walked to the closet where his duffel was stowed. He quickly opened a small compartment and withdrew a strip of condoms and a small bottle of lube.

He lay down beside Sasuke and kissed him again. “How would you like to?” he asked nervously.

Sasuke looked at him tensely. “Does it matter?”

Naruto nodded. “It matters because I want you to feel good. I’d kinda like to see your face, though, because I want to know if I’m hurting you.”

“Stop treating me like a delicate princess.”

Naruto breathed out. “I know you’re not a delicate princess, Sasuke. But it’s not much fun for me if it hurts you.”

“I’ll tell you if it does.”

“OK. You’d better.” Naruto kissed him again. He explored Sasuke’s body with his mouth, trailing soft kisses over his neck and his torso. He pulled Sasuke down to the edge of the bed, so that his feet could sit flat on the floor. He raised Sasuke’s legs and slid a pillow under his bottom.

“Is this OK?” he asked. Sasuke nodded.

Realizing that Sasuke was still tense, he kissed his belly, exploring the indentation of his navel with his tongue. He massaged Sasuke’s quads as he kissed, then lowered his mouth to his cock. Sasuke closed his eyes and arched his back when Naruto sucked at his erection.

When he felt the tension in Sasuke’s limbs lessen, he released his cock and slid his tongue over his perineum and swirled it around the vulnerable little pucker. Encouraged by Sasuke’s moans, he licked and sucked the flesh around his entrance. He slid his hands under Sasuke’s ass and lifted it up, then plunged his tongue in as deep as it would go.

Sasuke writhed as Naruto made love to him with his mouth. Naruto reached for the bottle of lube that he’d just laid on the bed, opening it with his thumb. He spilled the cool gel over his fingers.

He pulled his face away from Sasuke’s ass and smeared lube across the opening. Watching Sasuke warily, he slipped one finger into the tight warmth. He moved his finger around, spreading the lube against the satiny walls, then carefully added a finger. Sasuke gave him no time for caution. He forced himself down against Naruto’s fingers insistently.

Naruto added a third finger, more carefully than he had with the first two. He slowly thrust in and out, opening his fingers and loosening Sasuke up.

“Naruto… please,” Sasuke groaned. “Please just fuck me.”

Sasuke’s pleas chased away what was left of Naruto’s reticence. He grabbed the strip of condoms and tore one foil open. He rolled the condom onto his cock as Sasuke watched intently, then spread lube over his member.

Standing between Sasuke’s legs, he placed the tip of his cock at Sasuke’s opening and pushed in. He immediately felt Sasuke tense up and then relax. Sasuke nodded at him, and he pushed it in a little farther. Sasuke was now breathing through his nose carefully, trying to keep himself relaxed, Naruto noticed.

It was difficult not to just thrust into him with abandon. He was so gloriously tight and warm; he longed to feel that warmth around his entire length. He waited, though, because it wasn’t worth hurting Sasuke or disrespecting his feelings.

Sasuke nodded again, and Naruto pushed in a little farther.

“Please, Naruto. Just push it in. Please,” Sasuke begged.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Naruto groaned in frustration. But he did as Sasuke wished. Sasuke clenched around him as he seated himself fully within the other man’s body; sweat covered his body. Naruto leaned forward and kissed him, rubbing his shoulders and neck as he adjusted to the intrusion.

“You feel amazing, baby,” Naruto murmured into his ear. “I’ve never felt anything like this before.” It was gospel truth; Sasuke’s insides gripped him like a warm, satin sheath.

Sasuke relaxed a little in response to the praise. Naruto kissed his neck and his nipples, dying to move, but terrified of doing so.

“Naruto...” Sasuke’s voice was a little higher pitched than normal. “Naruto, you can move now. Please move.”

Naruto slowly and tentatively slid halfway out of Sasuke, then thrust in again slowly.

“You can go faster, Naruto,” Sasuke breathed.

Naruto withdrew until nothing but the head of his cock remained inside of Sasuke, then thrust in again.

“Oh, Sasuke. Oh, baby. You feel so good,” he moaned. Unable to restrain himself any longer, he thrust into Sasuke again and again. “Are you OK, sweetie?” he asked.

Sasuke nodded. He was almost completely breathless, but he didn’t seem to be in terrible pain; Naruto rocked into him again and again.

“Ah, Naruto, mmm,” Sasuke called out.

“Did that feel good?” Naruto asked.

Sasuke nodded and bit his lip. Recalling where he’d always located Sasuke’s prostate, he lifted up his bottom and held him as he thrusted.

“Ah, nnghh!” Sasuke cried.

“Right there? That feel good? Right there?” Naruto asked.

“Uh huh,” Sasuke murmured.

Naruto gripped him harder and thrust into him rapidly. The sight of Sasuke beneath him, the feeling of him inside, almost had him ready to come. He was determined to bring Sasuke to orgasm first.

“God, Sasuke. You feel so fucking amazing.”

Sasuke began meeting his thrusts, trying for more traction. Naruto lifted Sasuke up until he was holding him. Sasuke at once threw his legs around Naruto and sank down farther on his dick than Naruto had believed possible. They both moaned at having the friction they craved so badly.

They thrust against each other frantically, until Naruto’s legs began to shake. He turned them around until the back of his legs hit the bed and sat down with Sasuke on top of him.

Sasuke sank down on his cock and fell forward, resting his head on Naruto’s shoulder.

“Naruto… unh… fuck me hard...”

Naruto bit down on Sasuke’s neck as he lifted him up and then pulled him down hard to meet the thrust of his hips. Sasuke immediately screamed in ecstasy. Naruto could feel Sasuke’s cock, hard and wet with pre-come, bouncing against his stomach as they moved together.

“Sasuke… look at me,” Naruto said roughly. Sasuke raised his head and looked into Naruto’s eyes. “I want to see your face when I make you come,” he said.

Sasuke smiled and pistoned his hips harder against Naruto’s.

Staring into Sasuke’s eyes, Naruto felt a wave of emotion crash over him. He was so open and vulnerable in this moment, the way Naruto had only dreamt he could be when they’d first met.

“Ah, Sasuke,” he groaned. He was on the brink, but Sasuke was pounding against him mercilessly, and Naruto couldn’t make himself slow down. “Sasuke…”

The tension coiled tightly in his groin. It was too much. He was so close.

“Fuck, Sasuke. I love you so fucking much,” he shouted.

Sasuke’s eyes went round. He gripped Naruto’s shoulders and came just as Naruto did, painting his orgasm over both their bellies.

Naruto fell backwards. Sasuke collapsed on top of him.

He held Sasuke close. He hadn’t planned on declaring his love for Sasuke this way. He couldn’t find it within himself to regret it, though.

As he recovered from his orgasm, he faintly recalled something else.

“Sasuke, I have to get up,” he said apologetically. Sasuke rolled onto the bed unceremoniously. Naruto stood and pulled off the condom, tying it off before he tossed it into the waste basket.

He dug into his duffel bag until he found what he was looking for, then clumsily walked to the bathroom.

Jugo’s tub was spotlessly clean, he was happy to see. He located a drain stopper and turned the tap on at nearly the hottest setting. He opened the little sachet he’d brought in his duffel, and dumped the contents into the tub as it filled. He located two towels and two wash cloths, then walked back into his and Sasuke’s room.

Sasuke was sprawled across the bed messily, his lips parted and his eyes half-closed. Naruto kissed him on the cheek.

“C’mon, you,” he said. “Let’s get a bath.”

Sasuke swatted at him lazily.

“C’mon. You feel good right now, but you’ll feel better later on if you get a warm bath,” he scolded.

Sasuke groaned and opened his eyes. “I just want to sleep,” he said irritably.

“I know,” Naruto replied. “But you’ll feel good, I promise. And I’ll leave you alone.”

Sasuke looked at him sharply. “I don’t want you to leave me alone.”

Naruto chuckled. “I won’t leave you alone, then. But you do need a warm bath. Trust me.”

Sasuke begrudgingly got up and followed Naruto to the bathroom.

“Go ahead and get in the bath,” Naruto instructed. “I’m going to get us some water.”

Sasuke lowered himself into the steaming bath, humming in contentment as he sank into the heat.

Naruto quickly went down to the kitchen and filled two glasses with cold water, then walked back up the stairs. Sasuke had his head tipped back on the edge of the tub with his eyes closed when he came back into the bathroom.

“Here’s your water,” Naruto said quietly. Sasuke lifted his head and took the cup and drank gratefully. Naruto turned off the tap.

“Get in,” Sasuke mumbled.

“Are you sure?” Naruto asked hesitantly.

“No, Naruto. I’m not sure. I suggested it because I am so polite.”

“OK, OK. I’m getting in,” Naruto said with a laugh. He sat on the opposite end of the tub from Sasuke, but Sasuke moved so that his back was flush against Naruto’s chest.

Naruto picked a washcloth up from the side of the tub and wet it. He cleaned Sasuke’s belly as they relaxed in the hot bath. Sasuke just laid his head against Naruto’s shoulder passively.

“Did you put herbs in here or something?” Sasuke asked.

Naruto squirmed slightly. “Um. I put Epsom salt with lavender in. It’s supposed to be good… for healing,” he mumbled.

“Hn.” Sasuke turned his head into Naruto’s neck. “It’s nice, dobe.”

Naruto smiled at the sentiment, punctuated, as always, with one of Sasuke’s insults. He wrapped his arms around Sasuke and sighed.

They lay silently in the bath for a long time, each man drowsy from exertion and post-orgasm endorphins. It was Sasuke who broke the silence.

“That thing you said,” he began.

Naruto tensed up. He had hoped that Sasuke would not address the issue. Sasuke raised up and half turned so that he could look at Naruto.

“Did you mean it? Or is that just something you say during sex?” he asked. Beneath the caustic tone, Naruto could hear the vulnerability. He wouldn’t lie to Sasuke, even if it saved him some discomfort.

“I never say things I don’t mean,” he answered, peering into Sasuke’s eyes as he spoke. “Especially during sex.”

Sasuke kissed him softly then turned back around, settling against him as he had been. Naruto sighed and kissed his shoulder, tightening his arms around him once again.

He had almost dozed off again when Sasuke spoke once more.

“I didn’t say it to you.”

“You don’t have to,” Naruto yawned. “You never have to say things you don’t mean to make me happy.”

Sasuke picked up his hand and studied it for a moment.

“Just because I didn’t say it doesn’t mean I don’t feel it,” he said, so quietly that Naruto had to strain to hear him.

Naruto blinked back the tears that gathered in his eyes and pulled Sasuke as close as he possibly could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew. That took me sooo long to write. I am so sorry about that. I hope this was everything readers were hoping it would be for their first time going all the way. 
> 
> I know Garuda is a hawk in the manga and anime, but to me, the most majestic North American raptor, worthy of being Uchiha Sasuke's summons, is the golden eagle. I know someone who rehabilitates them and can actually allow them to perch on his arm (I don't advise it. Eagle talons are wicked). I had this vision of Sasuke before I even wrote the story, so it seemed central to allow it. 
> 
> I love Taka, for all its flaws (I don't believe Sasuke was at his "best" with him, or that they were the healthiest friends for him at that period, but they did genuinely care for him, and he for them), especially Jugo. I mean... birds love him. Puppies love him. And he loves Sasuke. By all rights, dude should have been given a farm to tend out in the woods somewhere after all he went through.
> 
> The crepe scene is specifically for Red Robin. I think Sasuke enjoys torturing Naruto just a little bit. But I don't think Naruto minds a whole lot, either. 
> 
> Please let me know what you think. Thank you again to everyone who has commented or left kudos. I so appreciate you sticking with this story. This fic is deep in my heart, and so it's gratifying and humbling when it resonates with people. <3


	23. Unexpected Guests, Part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sasuke and Naruto spend their last day at Jugo's preserve. When they return home, Sasuke attempts to slide back into his routine, only to have it interrupted by an annoyingly persistent visitor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BoyXBoy, really early on. Explicit.  
> TRIGGER WARNING: REFERENCE TO INCEST, also early on. That's not what the entire chapter is, but if that content offends you, makes you uncomfortable, or triggers traumatic memories for you, then please consider yourself warned that you might want to skip over the opening paragraphs.

The sky was starlit, and Naruto lay next to him. Turning around, he saw the light reflecting in Naruto’s open eyes.

“Not sleepy anymore?” Naruto asked, his voice raspy and rough.

“Guess not,” Sasuke replied.

The moonlight streaming through the window allowed him to see Naruto’s grin. “Want a nightcap?” he asked suggestively. He trailed his hand down Sasuke’s unclothed waist and brought it to rest on his hip.

“What did you have in mind?” Sasuke asked, feigning ignorance. He scraped his nails lightly down Naruto’s spine.

Naruto said nothing. His eyes burned. His smile widened in the utterly ridiculous way that Sasuke found so endearing. He grasped the nape of Sasuke’s neck and roughly pulled him close.

 _Finally,_ Sasuke thought. _He’s learned not to treat me like glass._

Naruto’s tongue was insistent, invading his mouth possessively. The kiss almost stole Sasuke’s breath. When Naruto pulled away for a moment, Sasuke actually gasped. He didn’t mind; he’d learned early on, and had been trying to teach Naruto, that he _liked_ being possessed. He craved it.

Suddenly, Naruto’s hands and lips were everywhere, gripping, kissing, biting, pinching. Sasuke had a feeling of being immersed in hot liquid as Naruto marked his claim all over his pliant body.

Naruto wrapped his hand around Sasuke’s cock, taking command of it, forcing Sasuke to react. Sasuke’s hips thrust upward involuntarily. Naruto rolled him over onto his back. He didn’t warn Sasuke before he entered him; he simply lunged into him, sheathing himself to the hilt all at once.

It burned. It burned, it stung, it stretched. But it _filled_ Sasuke, completing him the way he’d always dreamt of being completed.

_I wanted this. Before I ever knew Naruto. Even when I was a child, before I knew what sex was… I knew. I was empty. I wanted to be filled with something else, wanted someone to complete me, wanted to complete someone else in return. This… is exactly what I’ve always wanted._

Naruto pushed into Sasuke over and over, raining kisses over him as he did. He leaned down close enough for Sasuke to feel his warm, moist breath over his ear. “I love you so fucking much, Sasuke. You’re perfect. You’re so good for me.”

Sasuke knew how to keep from crying. He’d learned that lesson early; it was one of the first things an Uchiha—particularly a _male_ Uchiha—learned in life. He didn’t cry, even though it felt as if the tears were coagulating within him.

“I…” he began. He struggled. Naruto was stealing his breath with his kisses and with his thrusts, for one thing.

He felt as if he were trying to speak another language, for another. A language whose surface form the Uchiha struggled with, although they were more acquainted than anyone with its deep structure.

He recalled a poem he’d read once, in which God attempted to teach the first crow to speak. When the poor creature made its first clumsy vocalizations, it inadvertently spoke a blighted race of humans into being. He almost laughed at the thought.

 _Ah, Itachi loved crows._ His thoughts ricocheted stupidly through his lust-addled mind.

 _I have to tell him,_ he thought, his mind returning to Naruto.

He tried again. Naruto was still lunging into him, was still murmuring into his ear.

“I...”

“Is it nice, Sasuke? Is it nice like this?” Naruto asked. His voice was not tentative the way Sasuke was used to it being; it was certain, confident.

“I...”

“You feel so good, baby,” Naruto groaned.

“I… I…”

Naruto kissed him, halting the words before they could even be formed, a linguistic abortion.

“I… love you.”

There was a high-pitched screech; it could have been a freak surge of electricity in Jugo’s ancient house with its cobbled wiring. It could have been the cry of one of the nocturnal birds, hellbent upon its prey.

Sasuke looked up at Naruto, feverishly close to completion.

 

“I know, Otouto.”

And it was Itachi, plunging into him over and over again. Blood streamed from his lips. His cheeks were gaunt and sallow.

Sasuke panicked. His leaden limbs did not allow him to push or shove Itachi away. He knew… he had spoken Itachi’s reanimation into being, and he didn’t know how to undo it. He knew he didn’t have the right to undo it. Hadn’t he wanted this? Hadn’t he wished so many times to have Itachi back, to be the exclusive focus of his affections and attention?

But he had Naruto, now. He wanted Naruto, now. Loved Naruto.

He didn’t have the right. It wasn’t fair, wishing Itachi gone, wishing him to stay dead…

Itachi lowered his face to Sasuke’s. His kiss engulfed him, swallowing him whole, and a horrible shriek—was it Itachi’s? Was it Sasuke’s? filled his head, drowning out every other sound.

 

Sasuke came up with a start. Sweat poured down his face. His heart raced; his mouth felt as if it were filled with cotton.

Moonlight streamed through the uncovered window, illuminating everything in the room with white light. Naruto slept, peaceful and content, beside him. Relief coursed through Sasuke.

A shrill wail emanated from outside. Naruto startled awake.

“Sasuke?”

Sasuke twined his fingers through Naruto’s hair; it was a relief to touch him and hear his sleepy voice.

“Did someone just scream?” Naruto asked, perplexed.

“It’s just a vixen calling to her kits,” Sasuke answered. He’d heard the sound many times while staying with Jugo.

Naruto yawned. “Foxes scream like that? Sounds like a woman.”

Sasuke kissed Naruto’s cheek. “Sometimes they do. It’s a warning vocalization.”

“Ah.” Naruto mumbled something else unintelligible, then burrowed against Sasuke and went back to sleep.

Sasuke’s body was still not entirely convinced that he’d only been dreaming. His heart pounded insistently in his chest.

 _Genjutsu,_ he thought. _Reality, but also illusion._

He slipped out from beneath the covers. He and Naruto had gone to bed completely naked after their bath, and he shivered in the cool night air. He reached for his towel on the night stand and wrapped it around him, then stalked off to the bathroom.

He rinsed out his mouth at the sink, then scalded away the lingering miasma of his dream under the shower. He channeled his thoughts towards Naruto, attempting to cleanse himself of the morbid vision of Itachi that still floated behind his eyes.

He wasn’t completely sure why he’d wanted to bring Naruto to Jugo’s; at first, it had been because he didn’t want to spend an entire weekend away from him and the intimate moments they shared together.

Somehow, it had become something very different.

Naruto was important to him, as was Jugo. There was something significant, in his mind, about introducing the two of them.

There was also something symbolic about bringing Naruto here, to the place he regarded as a refuge. Naruto had blended into it almost seamlessly, the way he blended into almost all parts of Sasuke’s life. He’d taken pleasure in the simplest joys available to him in the rural outpost.

The only flaws in the weekend, as far as Sasuke could see, were within Sasuke himself. There was a reason he’d never kept pictures from the past. There was not much he cared to remember. There was absolutely nothing in his teen years that he wanted to expose to Naruto. They’d talked around his time in Taka and what it might say about Sasuke, but he’d told Naruto no facts about it. His court files from the era were sealed. Sasuke would just as soon seal off the entire reality of it.

Then, Naruto had stumbled over the undeniable photographic evidence that those years had existed. He’d reacted with innocent curiosity, and Sasuke, shocked and panicked, had lashed out at him. Still…

Naruto had said he loved him.

Hadn’t Sasuke himself thought it? So many times, he had reached for a word to describe how he felt about Naruto, and had withdrawn when that word seemed to suggest itself.

Naruto loved him.

 _What does that even mean, when he doesn’t have all the information?_ Sasuke thought.

He willed himself to focus on the hot, pelting spray of the shower. Little by little, his mind drifted to all the moments he’d shared with Naruto over the past few days.

Naruto standing in the woods by the creek, Sasuke on his knees before him. Naruto kissing him as the sky darkened. Naruto laying him on the bed. Naruto inside of him.

Sasuke’s breath caught at the memory. He had been certain that their first time would be a laughable disaster, something they’d later look back upon fondly as the inept and clumsy fumbling of two virgins.

It had been something so different.

It would probably not be the very best sex they ever had; they’d probably learn each other’s cues and responses and respond much more adroitly in the future. But it had been so satisfying, on so many levels. It was certainly nothing he would ever laugh about.

Naruto had ensured that it hadn’t been painful—at the most, Sasuke had experienced some initial discomfort. And then… it had been amazing. The tantalizing feeling of having the ultimate pleasure just out of reach. And then…

Naruto’s declaration had sent him over.

They had come almost simultaneously. Something around Sasuke had begun to dissolve in that instant. He’d felt as if he’d suddenly come up for air after being underwater his entire life.

 

 

 

* * *

  


The shower had made Sasuke sleepy again. The second time he awakened, the orange glow of dawn was just beginning to fill the room. Naruto was absent, his pillow cold. Sasuke pulled on his pajamas and walked downstairs. Naruto wasn’t in the kitchen, where he’d expected him to be. He pushed the screen door open and was relieved to see him sitting on the porch swing.

“Oi, Sasuke!” he said cheerfully, his mouth full of dry cereal that he was eating from the box.

Sasuke sat beside him and reached into the childishly garish box to steal some of the flakes. He almost spat them out immediately.

“This shit tastes like sweetened cardboard,” he grumbled. “Don’t know how you eat it.”

Naruto just grinned at him. “Maybe I like sweetened cardboard, did ya ever consider that?”

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “I have, actually. From the moment I met you, I’ve always thought, ‘There’s a man who’d eat cardboard if it were sweet enough.’”

Naruto nudged him with his elbow. “Snobby bastard. Not everybody can cook like you do. We didn’t eat dinner last night. I was starving when I woke up. I actually woke up because I was starving, I’ll have you know.”

Sasuke flushed at the memory of what they’d been doing at dinner time.

He glanced at Naruto. He was smiling shyly and looking down.

“Just so you know,” Naruto murmured, “I have no complaints about skipping dinner last night.”

Sasuke didn’t pull Naruto into him the way he was tempted to. Instead, he tousled the messy blond hair and pinched his arm.

“No complaints here, either,” he said. Naruto looked up at him and grinned, still blushing.

“Are you OK this morning, Sasuke?” he asked tenderly.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “I’m _fine,_ Naruto. I haven’t split apart at the middle or anything. I’m not sure what you’re worried about.”

Naruto looked down. “I haven’t ever done that with another guy,” he mumbled.

“Dobe. We established that early on. I have no complaints. At all.”

“Promise?”

“For fuck’s sake. _Yes_ , I promise,” Sasuke said, much more irritably than he actually felt.

Naruto laid his head on his shoulder. Sasuke put his arm around him and laid his head against Naruto’s. It was a relief to be close to him.

“We go home today,” he said reluctantly.

“Yeah,” Naruto answered glumly.

“I have to give the animals their breakfast. Want some eggs and bacon when I’m done?”

He felt Naruto nod.

“We’ll have a few hours after we eat before Jugo gets home.”

Naruto raised his head at this and kissed Sasuke. “I’m glad.”

Sasuke did not say it aloud, but he was, too. Being away from Konoha had been a relief; Jugo’s place was untainted by the memories that lurked in Konoha’s corners and alleyways waiting to ambush him. He did not want to leave this sheltered haven with Naruto.

As hastily as he could, he cleaned all the cages and fed the animals with the food Jugo had left for them. He didn’t mind the dirty work; life was full of it. Choosing a career was more or less, in Sasuke’s opinion, a matter of choosing what kind of dirt one preferred and precisely how dirty one wished to get. He’d clean up fox and opossum scat all day, every day over many of the things he had done in his past.

Sasuke was disappointed to find Garuda asleep when he walked to her enclosure. He left the thawed-out carcass Jugo had designated for her and closed the aviary tightly. Perhaps, if he was lucky, he’d get to see her awake before he and Naruto had to leave. He ached for her, knowing she was enclosed once again. He had sometimes calmed himself to sleep thinking of her soaring freely in graceful arcs and angles. She’d never hesitated, fledging right on time despite being an orphan—freedom had called for her and she had answered readily.

He ignored the heaviness in his gut as he trudged back to the house. To his surprise, Naruto had eggs and bacon cooking when he arrived.

“Okaeri, Sasuke,” Naruto called over his shoulder. His eyes gleamed with pride. Sasuke couldn’t help but smile.

“I’ll wash up and be down to help you,” he said as he strode up the stairs.

Naruto was plating the food when he came back down. A burning smell attacked his nose; tendrils of smoke snaked out of the oven.

“Shit!” Naruto cried. “The toast is burnt.” He scrambled to pull the blackened slices of bread out of the oven, cursing as they burned his fingers. Sasuke looked on in amusement.

He sat down heavily across from Sasuke at the table, pouting and frowning irritably. “I know you’re gonna say something, bastard, so just go ahead,” he grumbled.

“I wasn’t going to say a word,” Sasuke replied smoothly. “But if you’d like me to, I guess I could say that these eggs look really good.”

Naruto immediately lit up. “Really? I hope they’re good. I tried really hard not to let them get overcooked.”

Sasuke took a bite. They were fluffy and tasty, just a bit saltier than he would have preferred, but not bad at all. “You did a good job, usuratonkachi.”

Naruto grinned so broadly that his eyes all but disappeared. “Heh. Thanks.” He shoveled his food into his mouth enthusiastically. “How are the animals today?” he asked, his mouth full.

Sasuke shook his head and smiled. Naruto was, in so many ways, an overgrown child. “They’re fine.”

“Was the fox awake when you were there?”

“Yes. He was awake,” Sasuke responded.

Naruto pouted again. “Aw. I missed it. He’s almost always asleep when I visit him.”

A wave of almost unbearable affection for the blue-eyed man-child filled Sasuke’s heart.

“You like foxes, hm?” he asked.

Naruto nodded. “I really do! But I never saw one in real life before. Well, not except for when you see them cross the road at night or something. I really wish I could play with him.”

“It’s not good to play with animals that have to go back into nature,” Sasuke admonished.

“I know, I know. But I wish I could!”

Sasuke had never been charmed by someone in his life. He’d adored Itachi. He’d loved his parents. Sarada, he’d grown to realize, was pleasant to be with, and he had a burgeoning affection for her. Naruto, though… Naruto had completely enchanted him almost immediately. He couldn’t have imagined such a person existed. If he had imagined, he’d have dismissed any notion of attraction out of hand; he didn’t like flights of whimsy or loud conversation as a rule.

He appreciated those aspects of Naruto, though. Sitting across from him, watching his emotions flit over his face and listening to him enthuse about wild foxes and boast about scrambling some eggs, Sasuke felt that he needed Naruto. He needed him in many ways, one of which was making his trousers altogether too tight.

Naruto insisted upon doing the dishes immediately after Sasuke had taken his last bite. “They’ll be crusty and hard to clean later,” he said, preempting any attempt Sasuke might have made to interrupt his plans.

As he stood over the sink, wailing some horrible, high-pitched pop song, Sasuke walked over to him and embraced him from behind. He kissed Naruto’s neck then sucked it, causing Naruto to groan in confusion.

“I’ll be finished in just a minute, Sasuke,” he said in a rush.

“Take your time,” Sasuke replied. He slid his fingers under Naruto’s shirt, lightly touching the spot he knew was inked with his demon-seal.

“Bastard,” Naruto huffed. He continued to wash.

With his other hand, Sasuke reached for one of the pink nipples, enjoying the way it hardened immediately under his fingers. Naruto sighed heavily and pushed backwards against Sasuke.

“You’re so responsible, Naruto,” Sasuke whispered against his ear. “Making breakfast. Cleaning up. Almost like a real grown-up.” He licked the outer edge of his ear playfully.

“You’re… agh, you’re such an asshole, Sasuke,” Naruto mumbled. He bumped against Sasuke sharply.

Sasuke kissed the nape of his neck and sucked, leaving a purplish mark on the tan skin. Naruto squirmed in spite of his best efforts to finish the dishes. Sasuke withdrew from Naruto’s warmth, slipping his hands out from under his shirt. Naruto froze immediately.

“Sorry for being an asshole,” he said lightly. “I’ll let you finish the dishes, then.” He turned to walk away, but Naruto grabbed his arm before he took the first step.

“Teasing bastard,” he growled. Though his hands were damp, Sasuke didn’t protest when Naruto pulled him backwards against his chest. He could feel Naruto’s erection against his ass.

Naruto bit down upon Sasuke’s neck, sucking hard and making him gasp. He tweaked Sasuke’s nipple through his tee shirt.

“I want you.” His voice was low and sultry against Sasuke’s skin. Sasuke pushed back against him, melting into his body heat.

He gripped Sasuke’s waist roughly, his fingers digging into the skin where his shirt had ridden up. He pulled him even tighter against himself, grinding his erection against his backside insistently. “I want you _now,”_ he specified.

Sasuke nodded dumbly. Naruto turned him around by his shoulders and invaded his mouth with a demanding kiss. Naruto bit his lower lip then suckled it, pulling Sasuke into him by the nape of his neck. He pulled away, leaving Sasuke breathless and craving more.

“Upstairs, Sasuke,” he said. He took him by the hand and led him out of the kitchen and up the stairs, Sasuke trailing behind obediently.

With the door shut behind them, the look Naruto gave him made Sasuke’s cock stand fully erect. He stood unmoving as Naruto looked him over appreciatively.

“Lose the clothes, Sasuke,” Naruto ordered.

Sasuke blinked and lifted his shirt over his head. Naruto’s eyes never left him, even though he was pulling his own clothes off, as well. When Sasuke slid his pants down his ankles, Naruto hummed in approval.

“I love your cock, Sasuke,” he said, staring at said member intently.

Sasuke’s skin went hot, flushing from the novelty of being scrutinized so nakedly. Naruto walked towards him, taking his cock into his hand as he stared into Sasuke’s eyes.

“It’s already wet for me,” Naruto said. He ran his fingers along the underside slowly. He sank to his knees and took Sasuke into his mouth.

He stared up at Sasuke as he sucked, his blue eyes hazy with desire. His mouth was warm and tight around him, and his piercing stare intensified the sensation of being on display. Sasuke moaned, wanting so badly to thrust into the warmth.

Naruto pulled back and released Sasuke’s cock with one final, tortuous suck. He wiped his mouth as he stood. He leaned into Sasuke and skimmed his fingers over his spine. “Tell me, Sasuke,” he said into his ear.

He swept his hand across Sasuke’s ass. “Do you want to fuck me today? Would you like to feel what I felt last night?”

Sasuke had thought about it. He wanted to know every inch of Naruto.

“Or do you want me to do it to you again? Do you want to come with my dick inside of you, Sasuke?” Naruto flicked his ear with his tongue, lowering his other hand to his ass to grip him even tighter and pull him close.

Where had Naruto learned to talk like this? His words were putting Sasuke into an erotic trance. He imagined himself sliding into Naruto, the other man’s insides gripping him tightly as he thrust.

The poison breath of his dream still hadn’t cleared completely from his mind, though; he needed Naruto inside of him to purge the last of it away.

Sasuke moaned as Naruto’s hands kneaded his ass. Their cocks brushed against each other, both of them wet, both of them fully hard, now.

“What would you like, Sasuke?” Naruto asked again. “It’s up to you.”

“You. I want you,” Sasuke groaned.

“How do you want me, Sasuke?” Naruto demanded. “Do you want me under you while you take me? Do you want me to pound into you the way you begged me to last night?”

“Inside. Want you inside.”

Naruto kissed him again and led him to the bed. He sat down and pulled Sasuke into his lap. His fingers were tender, running through Sasuke’s hair and massaging his hip. Sasuke did not close his eyes as they kissed, their tongues dancing lovingly.

_This… this is passion. This is love. This, and the way our silences are never empty, the way I know I he will be there when I need him… The way my days are better when he’s there… or even when I’m just thinking of him being there…_

Naruto’s skin was smooth beneath his hands, wrapped around taut muscle and sinew. Sasuke ran his palm down the side of his neck, to his shoulder, then over his chest where the kitsune tattoo was inked. Naruto hissed into his mouth when he slid over a hard nipple, then groaned as Sasuke teased it into a sharp peak.

Sasuke pushed him backwards and kissed the dusky, hardened nub, circling it with his tongue and then sucking it hard. He pulled and tweaked it with his fingers as he took the other into his mouth. Naruto groaned and arched into him, bringing his pelvis up against Sasuke’s. Sasuke slid down and tongued the seal he loved so much, tracing it with his tongue as he rubbed his hand over Naruto’s erection.

The reactions he pulled out of Naruto—the twist of his hips, the guttural moans, the needy whines—filled Sasuke with desire. He nuzzled into the trail of coarse, blond hair, kissing his way down to the cock that brought him so much pleasure. He breathed over it, making Naruto squirm. He gripped the base in his hand, then swirled his tongue over the head.

“Sasuke,” Naruto groaned.

Sasuke sucked and tongued Naruto’s head while stroking slowly up and down the shaft. There was something cleansing in tasting the salt of his skin and smelling his arousal; it was a guarantee that he was with Naruto and wasn’t under an illusion cast by his traitorous mind.

Naruto tugged his hair gently. “Sasuke, I need you.”

Sasuke reluctantly released Naruto’s cock from his lips and hand. He crawled up to lie alongside Naruto, who drew him into a heated kiss.

Naruto withdrew. He grabbed a condom from the side table and fumbled to rip it open.

“May I?” Sasuke whispered.

Naruto looked at him for a moment, then grinned. “Sure thing.”

Sasuke took the packet and tore it open, then rolled the condom over Naruto’s cock. He poured some lube into his palm and rubbed it over Naruto’s member. He then reached behind to prepare himself for Naruto.

“I want to watch, Sasuke,” Naruto murmured.

Sasuke turned around and knelt in front of Naruto as he plunged two fingers into himself. Naruto encircled him in his arms, then kissed and bit at Sasuke’s bottom. “Such a great view,” he sighed.

Naruto spread even more lube over Sasuke’s opening as Sasuke worked his fingers, allowing him to plunge them deeper and prepare himself more fully for Naruto’s cock.

When he turned around, Naruto sat watching him raptly. His pupils were dilated widely, making the irides an even brighter shade of blue than usual. The longing Sasuke read in his expression nearly made him gasp. He pulled Sasuke to him, and Sasuke accommodated by laying his upper thighs against Naruto’s and wrapping his legs around the blond’s waist.

With his hands, he spread himself in preparation for Naruto to enter him. Naruto positioned the tip of his cock at Sasuke’s hole.

Sasuke hissed involuntarily at the sting when Naruto slipped beyond the first ring of muscles, but he lowered himself completely until Naruto’s member was deep within him. He began rocking his hips gently to encourage Naruto to move. Naruto gripped Sasuke’s hips and began to raise and lower him as he thrust.

In this position, Naruto easily brushed over his prostate. Sasuke moaned and leaned into Naruto. Their kiss was feverish, full of teeth and thrusting tongues. His cock rubbed against Naruto’s stomach as they moved together, smearing it with pre-come and sending tremors through his groin.

Naruto pushed him backwards, falling on top of him. He lifted Sasuke’s left leg and placed his foot on his shoulder, then lifted his ass and thrust deeply. Sasuke cried out; his vision blacked out for a moment as intense pleasure washed over him.

“Shit, Sasuke,” Naruto panted, “you feel fucking amazing inside.”

As Naruto’s thrusts became faster, Sasuke edged closer and closer to the release his body craved. Naruto was now driving into him relentlessly, brushing against his prostate over and over. As he neared completion, Sasuke reached between them and took his cock into his hand, pumping it as Naruto filled him.

“Na…” he moaned. His entire body shuddered and his back arched off the bed, rocked by his orgasm. “Naruto!” he cried, spilling himself and coating his hand as well as his and Naruto’s stomachs with semen.

“Fuck, Sasuke, shit, you feel so fucking good,” Naruto ground out. He continued ramming into Sasuke, questing for his own release. The friction against his prostate left Sasuke feeling weak and slightly overwhelmed, but his muscles continued to clench around Naruto in response.

“Aaah!” Naruto thrust into him one last time, screaming as he came. His hips stuttered as he lowered Sasuke’s bottom onto the bed, sliding out of him with a wet squelching sound. He fell onto the bed beside Sasuke.

“Shit,” he panted. “That was amazing.”

Sasuke sighed contentedly and reached for Naruto’s hand. They kissed and touched in the afterglow of their lovemaking, whispering their sweet, ribald thoughts to each other. Sasuke knew he had never known gentleness before Naruto. Although Sakura had tried to be there for him, he had never been able to accept what she offered. He’d been too broken, for one thing.

_Too gay, for another._

Naruto had found him at precisely the right moment in his life. Sasuke had moved towards him with all the sentience of a potato vine twining its way towards a pinhole of sunlight, and every movement he had made towards Naruto had been reciprocated.

He wondered if he would ever speak of his emotions as freely as Naruto did. Perhaps he could, given enough time and patience. New possibilities were opening for Sasuke, all because Naruto had refused to let him sink into his whiskey in a tiresome bar those months ago.

He cupped Naruto’s face and looked into his bright, blue eyes. He hoped Naruto would understand the emotions that Sasuke wanted to convey to him. He kissed the blond with a quiet intensity. Naruto responded by wrapping his arms around him, and Sasuke felt the safest and most cared-for that he had felt in his entire life.

  


 

  


Eventually, the time for leisurely kisses and basking in bed came to a close. Sasuke packed up and readied the house for Jugo’s return reluctantly. Naruto, he noticed, seemed just as reluctant. These few days in Jugo’s woodland retreat had been days of grace, and he was not eager to return to Konoha. He never had been; yet now, having been with Naruto in this setting, he was even less inclined to return. He wondered if he and Naruto would interact as easily once they were home again. The thought of awkwardness between the two of them made him almost physically ill.

Lunch was pasta in Alfredo sauce—simple, easy enough to whip together. That had not prevented Naruto from declaring it the best Alfredo sauce he’d ever tasted and pronouncing Sasuke the best cook in the world. His enthusiasm warmed Sasuke’s heart. For years, he had cooked for his own satisfaction. Sharing his once solitary hobby with someone who appreciated it was a new level of pleasure he could take in cooking. The way Naruto watched attentively (as attentively as Naruto ever could) as he cooked filled him with pride and happiness. This was a gift he could give him, something to thank him for all he had given Sasuke.

After lunch, they cleaned the kitchen and changed the linens on the bed. They walked together to the animal enclosures one last time. Naruto was excited that the fox cub was alert and energetic when he walked by, and though Sasuke could almost feel the tension peeling off of him, he restrained himself from petting the cub or doing anything more than depositing its food into its cage.

Garuda, too, was awake. Sasuke walked into her enclosure in the aviary; she immediately raised her head and swooped down to rest on his arm. Her talons were as sharp as ever, and would inevitably leave marks. Sasuke would consider them a memento of his time with her. Her immense weight on his arm and the strength he felt in her grip steadied him.

 _I’m sorry,_ he told her with his eyes. _I wish you could be free again._

Garuda looked at him as if she understood.

_I don’t know what happened to your mate. I don’t know what that kind of loss feels like, but I’m sorry for that, too._

As he thought, he realized that he’d found the one person who made captivity and limits bearable. Even the thought of losing him hurt.

He stroked Garuda’s head with his finger. When the eagle returned to her perch, Sasuke turned to see Naruto staring, awestruck. He blushed and averted his eyes from Sasuke’s as if he’d intruded upon them voyeuristically. Sasuke walked to him and took his hand silently, and they walked back to the house together.

Jugo arrived just as they sat down on the porch swing. Sasuke smiled at the way the large man bounded out of the door almost before the truck had even rolled to a stop.

“Watch him,” Sasuke whispered to Naruto. “He’ll be torn for a moment between acknowledging us and running off to check on all the animals.”

When Jugo looked back and forth between the porch and the path to the animal enclosures, Naruto snickered. Sasuke squeezed his hand.

“The animals are all fine, Jugo. Go ahead and check on them,” Sasuke called. Jugo looked relieved and grateful as he jogged off towards his beloved charges.

“He really loves them a lot,” Naruto said quietly.

“Yes. He loves all animals. He almost never leaves them in someone else’ care.”

“He must really trust you,” Naruto replied.

“Hn.”

“You really trust Jugo, too.”

“With my life.”

Naruto smiled and laid his head on Sasuke’s shoulder. “I’m so glad you have someone like that, Sasuke,” he said.

Sasuke laid his head against Naruto’s, grateful that he understood and accepted Jugo’s importance to him.

Jugo walked up the path, visibly relieved at having found his precious animals clean and well-fed.

“Thanks, Sasuke, Naruto,” he said. “This was a really important training, so I’m glad you were able to help out.”

Sasuke nodded at him.

“No need to thank me,” Naruto said. “Sasuke did almost all the work. I really love all the animals you have here.”

Jugo looked at him and smiled. “I’m glad you appreciate them. Thanks for coming along, Naruto. I hope I will see you again, some time.”

“You bet you will!” Naruto declared. Sasuke and Jugo both smiled at his enthusiastic response.

“Thanks for having us, Jugo,” Sasuke said softly. “It’s always a pleasure.”

“You’re always welcome here,” Jugo answered. “Both of you.”

All too soon, it was time to leave. As Sasuke backed out of Jugo’s drive, a misty rain began to fall. He and Naruto held hands all the way back to Konoha, and the silence between them was the silence of people who knew and trusted each other.

  


* * *

  


Upon returning to work, Sasuke found that he was more focused and more energetic—even if he still did not care to be confined to Konoha. The days after his retreat with Naruto were spent reorganizing his inventory, running a sale, and doing many of the mundane tasks that running a shop required. He was pleased that Tomoe was doing as well as it was; although Sakura had declined child support on the grounds of her superior salary, he felt obligated to provide something for Sarada. Good sales meant that he could put aside more money for her future.

He had anticipated the summer rush, having created a display for postcards showcasing the beach and Konoha’s history, and he had also displayed some of his small historical items, as well. Items such as netsukes, antique hairpins, hand fans, and tiny urushi boxes lured people who wanted something other than the standard kitsch to commemorate their vacations. Many of those people also inquired about items that Sasuke did not display openly, such as vintage wedding kimonos and furniture, which proved to be quite profitable for him

He had just wrapped up two sizable sales and was ringing up another when a familiar head of blond hair came through the front door.

He took his time with his customers. Naruto’s son hung back quietly, thumbing through books and looking over the postcards as Sasuke wrapped up a set of porcelain demitasses made in Occupied Japan.

The child approached when Sasuke’s customers dispersed. “Mr. Uchiha,” he began. “Hello.”

“Hello, Mr. Uzumaki,” Sasuke responded dryly. “What brings you in today? Did you need a postcard to remind you of your hometown? Or some reading material to make the remainder of your summer productive?”

The child blushed and made an uncomfortable face. He scratched the back of his head the same way Naruto did when he was slightly discomfited.

“Uh. No. Not exactly,” the child mumbled.

It occurred to Sasuke that perhaps Naruto’s son had intuited the nature of their relationship. “Is your father all right?” he probed.

“Uh. Yeah, I guess,” the kid answered. “But I’m not here about him either.”

Sasuke found himself more irritated with the blond haired mini-Uzumaki by the moment. He had not quite warmed to the boy the way Naruto had warmed to Sarada. He knew too much about the trouble he’d caused for Naruto to be completely at ease with him, and the crush Sasuke suspected that he had on Sarada did not help his case.

“Then what can I do for you?” Sasuke asked curtly.

“Um. I, um, I wanna learn Iaido,” the boy said.

“Good for you. I suggest you do a Google search for instructors.”

“Uh. That’s the thing. I want you to teach me,” little Uzumaki said.

“I don’t teach.”

“I could pay you.”

“You couldn’t pay me enough.”

The blond-haired child scowled at Sasuke for a moment. “I really want to prove to my dad that I can do it,” he said finally.

“That you can do what? Draw a sword? Like I said, a Google search will show you where Iaido instructors near you are,” Sasuke snapped.

“But I want to learn from you.”

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. “Why?”

The child bit his lip and thought for a moment. “Well, because I like you. I feel like you would really help me get stronger.”

“That’s nice. But I don’t teach. I have customers coming in, now. I suggest, once again, that you go home and do an online search for instructors,” Sasuke said.

The child looked at him defiantly before turning sharply and running out the door. Sasuke found himself both irritated and amused by the reaction.

  


He was less amused when the child showed up at closing time the next day.

“I’m closing,” Sasuke said gruffly.

“I know,” the kid said. “That’s why I came now. I want to talk to you more.”

“I told you yesterday that I don’t teach,” Sasuke bit out.

“I know you did. But I want to try and convince you to teach me anyway.”

Sasuke sighed as he turned the lights off in the front of the store. “And you think that will accomplish what, exactly?”

“It’ll tell you I’m serious.”

“Why is this so important to you?” Sasuke demanded. “Why iaido, and why me? You can find other instructors. I’m sure of it.”

Boruto looked down. “My old man doesn’t want me to take it.”

“And you thought I’d conspire with you to keep your lessons a secret from him. Right,” Sasuke said sarcastically.

“It’s not just that!” the child cried out. “I like you. I trust you. I feel like you have a lot that you could teach me.”

“But you want me to keep your lessons a secret from your father? Your father, who I’ll remind you, is my close friend,” Sasuke taunted.

“Well, yeah, at first, maybe,” Boruto said. “Look. My old man looks at me like I’m just a spoiled brat. I want to prove to him that I’m not. I want to prove to him that I can push my limits and that I can master as many martial arts as he did. Maybe more.”

Sasuke raised his brow and smirked. “If you want to prove to your father that you’re not a spoiled brat, then I recommend that you stop being one.”

Boruto’s mouth opened in surprise. He had been accustomed to Sasuke’s lighthearted banter with his father; Sasuke realized now that he had perceived him as a comrade-in-arms against Naruto.

“I want my dad’s respect,” Boruto said, his voice becoming high-pitched with frustration.

Sasuke scowled. “Sneaking around and taking lessons he said you couldn’t have isn’t maybe the best way to win it.”

Boruto looked down.

“You want to learn iaido,” Sasuke went on. “Do you realize that it’s an art requiring the utmost discipline?”

“I can be disciplined!” Boruto protested.

“Sure. But you’re already chafing against your father’s authority. How will you submit to the authority of a teacher?”

“That’s different,” Boruto sputtered.

“How?”

“Because I chose you to be an authority figure. I didn’t choose my dad.”

“Then you’ll choose to depose me as an authority figure when I displease you,” Sasuke said.

“No! I’d do whatever you said!”

“That’s interesting. So, you wouldn’t have a problem if I said that the first part of your training would be learning to take a beating? If I, and whichever other students I might choose, beat you with bokken until you no longer flinched before a blow?” Sasuke smirked as he watched Boruto’s eyes grow big.

“You can’t do that! No parent would ever let their kid be treated like that!” Boruto said, horrified.

“My parents did,” Sasuke responded. “That’s exactly how I was trained. And anyway, I thought you weren’t concerned about your father’s authority. Why invoke it over what is and isn’t acceptable in your training?”

Boruto stared at him, a mixture of anger and horror contorting his facial features. He straightened his back and lifted his chin after a moment.

“Fine. I’ll do it. I’ll take whatever you dish out if it’ll make me a better student,” he said heatedly.

“I never said I would teach you,” Sasuke replied. “Even if I were teaching, I don’t believe I’d teach someone who goes behind their parents’ backs like this. It shows a lack of discipline I’d have to confront again and again in teaching you. It would be a waste of my time.”

Boruto did not respond to this. He simply huffed and stomped out of Tomoe. Sasuke watched as he disappeared around the corner.

He did not return the next day. While Sasuke was relieved, he was sure that he would come back with renewed fervor once he’d licked his wounded pride.

  


  


  


He had already arranged to go out with Naruto that night. Sasuke was relieved to find that they interacted just as easily as they had during their weekend away—despite the irritation that Boruto created for Sasuke. They were now cuddling against each other in Sasuke’s bed, sweaty and sated after intense lovemaking.

“I have to talk to you about something,” Naruto said uncomfortably.

“Talk, then.” Sasuke put his arm around his lover and kissed his forehead.

“Well...” Naruto cleared his voice. “There’s a conference I’m speaking at in September in Southern California. Um. Would you like to go?”

Sasuke looked at Naruto in astonishment. He had been expecting a discussion about Boruto.

“Uh, it’s OK, Sasuke, if you don’t wanna go,” Naruto said nervously.

“Usuratonkachi. I’ll go. I wasn’t expecting that to be what you wanted to talk about,” Sasuke said with a dry laugh.

“Oh.” Naruto looked at him, bewildered. “What were you expecting?”

Sasuke turned on his side, propping himself up on his elbow. “Did you know your son has been coming to see me lately?”

“Boruto?” Naruto asked. Sasuke nodded.

“Ugh. Is he after you to teach him iaido?” Naruto groaned.

“Yes. He seems to think he could bribe me to teach him and keep it a secret from you,” Sasuke answered, amused.

“Gah, that kid!” Naruto grumbled. “I told him you don’t teach.”

“If I did, I wouldn’t do it without your permission,” Sasuke stated. “He’s very persistent.”

“Yeah, he’s a stubborn little shit, is what he is,” Naruto said, laughing. “How many times has he come by?”

“Twice.”

“God, Sasuke, I’m so sorry!”

“Hn. It’s not a problem. I told him to go home both times. I’m fairly certain he’ll be back, though.”

Naruto ran his hands through his hair and stared up at the ceiling. “He really feels the need to prove something to me,” he murmured. “I don’t know why.”

Sasuke’s mind drifted to his own childhood. Although he had been younger than Boruto, he, too had felt a driving need to prove himself to his father, to have his father acknowledge him as a success.

“I was the same when I was a kid,” Sasuke said. “I wanted my father to look at me with pride.”

“That’s the thing. I _am_ proud of Boruto. I tell him all the time. I may have missed his birthdays here and there, but I always showed up at his tournaments,” Naruto lamented. He sighed and looked at Sasuke. “He’s really kind of imprinted on you, I think.”

“Hn.” Sasuke found the idea bizarre. He had spent little time with the child, and had never had a conversation one-on-one with him. He could not fathom why the boy would see him as any kind of role model.

“I mean,” Naruto said, “I can understand it. You’re glamorous...”

“Tch.” Sasuke pinched Naruto, hard, in retaliation for the ridiculous statement.

“Ow, bastard! I mean it. You’re good looking, you’re smart… you’re everything I’m not. I don’t blame him for looking up to you.”

Sasuke growled. He wondered if Naruto would ever see himself as the extraordinary, beautiful person that he was.

“Idiot,” he said. “You’ve provided for him all his life. If he can’t look up to you, then something is wrong with him.”

Naruto chuckled, but it was a sad and hollow sound. “He resents me for being gone so much when his mom and I were married. I don’t blame him.”

“Naruto, you haven’t failed as a father. Sons seem to want more from their fathers than one person can actually give,” Sasuke said softly.

Naruto bit his lip and hummed. After a staring off into space for a moment, he looked at Sasuke again. “Maybe that’s the problem,” he said.

Sasuke could not follow his train of thought. Conversations with Naruto frequently went this way; Naruto’s mind would take off on a tangent only he could perceive, and Sasuke would have to ask for clues to catch up to what he was saying. “What do you mean, Naruto?” he asked.

“Maybe he needs more people to look up to. I mean, his teachers are all connected to me. I had a lot of different father figures growing up. Maybe that’s what he needs, too.”

“ _I’m_ connected to you, dumb ass,” Sasuke retorted.

“Yeah, but you’re not all ‘Mr. Uzumaki’ with me,” Naruto said, laughing. “You call me ‘moron’ and ‘dobe’ and ‘usuratonkachi.’ And now, ‘dumb ass.’ He sees you as an independent agent.”

“If he thinks I am going to abet him against you, he’s sadly mistaken,” Sasuke warned. “This is one reason among many I don’t teach. I don’t like entitled children. Even if they belong to you.”

Naruto looked at him as if he was not sure whether he wanted to fight with him or kiss him. “He’s not entitled.”

Sasuke took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “How many birthday parties did you get, Naruto?” he asked, peeved. “How many special lessons did you have by his age? How often did an adult sit down to watch Kung-Fu movies with you or ask you whether you wanted pizza or hamburgers? Does he actually know how you grew up and how much you’ve provided for him? Yes, Naruto, he’s entitled, and that is completely your issue to solve, which is as it should be, because I don’t have your patience.”

Naruto looked down. “It’s not his fault that I didn’t have those things.”

“It’s not _your_ fault that he can’t have everything he wants,” Sasuke countered. “He’s lucky he has a father like you. I only had my father for a very short time, but I can assure you that he didn’t do those things with me.”

Naruto wrapped his arms around him and stroked his back. “Neither of us got those things, did we, Sasuke?”

Sasuke closed his eyes tightly. He did not want to delve into the dark years of his orphaned childhood, even though he knew Naruto would understand.

“But your kid does, Naruto, and he’s lucky,” he said.

He heard Naruto yawn. “Maybe. But I’m glad he looks up to you. You’re someone worth looking up to. I wouldn’t even be pissed if he did end up talking you into teaching.”

Naruto’s breathing began to slow as his words trailed off. Sasuke knew he would soon be sleeping soundly. He kissed the messy blond locks on top of Naruto’s head and rubbed his shoulders gently. He wondered what was wrong with Naruto and his offspring that made them look up to him as any kind of example.

* * *

  


  


As Sasuke had predicted, Boruto came to his store again two days later. Sasuke noted that this time, at least, he had made an effort to demonstrate manners and respect. He held the door open for the elderly woman who was exiting as he arrived and wished her well, then walked towards Sasuke.

“Mr. Uzumaki, again,” Sasuke intoned.

“Please. Call me Boruto.”

“Boruto. Again,” Sasuke snipped. “To what do I owe this visit, today?”

Boruto cleared his throat and stood up straight. “I considered the things that you said the last time I was here. I think that maybe you’re right. I’d like to say that I would be honored to take iaido from you, Mr. Uchiha, sir, if you agreed, and I would follow your discipline. Even if you think I need to be hit with bokken, I assume it’s for a good reason.”

Sasuke sighed. “I’ve already told you. I’m not a teacher.”

Boruto swallowed. “You have said that. I hope you’ll reconsider.”

Bored of the ongoing drama with the young preteen, Sasuke reached for a ploy he was certain would work. “I’ll reconsider if you bring me a note from both of your parents, signed and dated, saying that they agree for you to take lessons and that they don’t hold me responsible for your death or dismemberment during training.”

Boruto stared at him, agape, and Sasuke felt certain that he had at last found a way to rid himself of Naruto’s troublesome spawn.

He did not predict the shrill yelp of excitement that Boruto emitted once the shock had worn off, nor did he predict his next words; “Thank you, Mr. Uchiha, sir. I mean, Sensei. I’ll bring those to you as fast as I can!”

Sasuke deflated, realizing that Naruto had already told him privately that he would not object to such lessons. Sasuke had no faith in the timid Hinata to put her foot down against her headstrong elder child. Sasuke would be forced to say no, once again, to the blond-haired menace that was Boruto Uzumaki. He watched in annoyance as the child bounded out the door and ran off down the sidewalk.

Boruto showed up on Saturday with two separate notes, one on paper torn from a yellow legal pad and another on stationery embossed with a silver U.

“I, Hinata Uzumaki do hereby give Boruto Uzumaki, my son, my permission to take iaido from Sasuke Uchiha. I do not hold Mr. Uchiha responsible for any injuries during training,” the one on the nice stationery read.

“I give my son, Boruto Uzumaki, permission to train with Sasuke Uchiha. Any injuries he receives up to and including death and losing fingers is all on Boruto and I don’t hold Sasuke responsible. Sincerely, Naruto Uzumaki. PS: Hi, Sasuke!”

Sasuke rolled his eyes. He would have accused Boruto of forging Naruto’s letter, if he had not seen for himself how sloppy Naruto’s handwriting was. He searched for the most emphatic, most direct way to tell Boruto that he would not be teaching him anything.

He looked into the expectant face, the face that so resembled his father’s, and the happy, grateful blue eyes. He thought of himself at that age; he had lost the chance to win his father’s attention and approval by that time. He had been cheated of the opportunity to earn the taciturn man’s recognition.

He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. “Your first lesson will be next weekend. You will do everything I tell you to do, absolutely everything, without question. You will meet with me weekly on Saturday afternoons from here on out. If you miss a lesson without informing me first, your lessons will be terminated. And I mean the very first time. I will also terminate your lessons if you miss too many, even if you do contact me beforehand. I will terminate your lessons for any disrespect or lack of focus. Do you understand?”

Boruto nodded, then stuck his hand out for Sasuke to shake. “Thank you so much, Mr. Uchiha Sensei, sir! I won’t disappoint you,” he exclaimed.

“Sensei is adequate,” Sasuke said tiredly. “Go home.”

Boruto fled the store happily. Sasuke put his head down in his hands and breathed. He had been taken in by the boy, just because he looked like Naruto.

That was not entirely fair. Although his resemblance to Naruto had played its part, Boruto had managed to remind him of his own quest for his father’s elusive attention. Perhaps in the course of playing at teacher and student, the child would learn to see his father in a new light. Perhaps he’d even learn to appreciate him.

The bell on the door tinkled. “We’re closed,” he said gruffly, without raising his head.

“I know,” answered a feminine, mellifluous voice. “I am not here to shop. I came to speak with you, Uchiha Sasuke.”

Sasuke’s head snapped up. The woman at the door was attractive, with silky, chestnut hair falling down past her shoulders and large, dark, familiar eyes. Her blue silk dress was simple but elegant, and she carried a package wrapped nicely in a traditional furoshiki.

It was difficult to pinpoint her age. She could have been in her early twenties, but she could just as easily have been nearing forty. She carried herself, Sasuke thought, with the grace of an old-fashioned geisha—spine erect, head tilted, composed and unflappable. Her thin lips curved upwards in a coy smile. The only thing marring her beauty was a thick scar that ran from her right ear, over her cheekbone, to the corner of her mouth.

Sasuke knew the significance of that scar; it signaled that she belonged to, or had belonged to, one of the crime syndicates that ran trafficking rings in the region. The scar would have been given as a punishment, as well as a way to control her—“damaged merchandise” that could be sold at a bargain. In some organizations, it would have meant that she could be sold off for “specialty markets.” He shuddered internally as he recalled what some of those “specialties” were.

“What do you want?” he asked impatiently. He did not appreciate this visitor from the underworld standing in his store, calling him by name.

The woman’s smile widened. She bowed her head and looked up at him from under her dark lashes. If he had angered or frightened her, her features did not reflect it.  
  
“Of course, you’re wondering who I am. We have met, but very briefly, and it was years ago. My name is Uchiha Izumi. I was a friend and admirer of your late brother, Uchiha Itachi.”

Sasuke’s mouth went dry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm curious to see what readers think about Sasuke's nightmare. I want to make it clear that I'm not writing this into the story just to make it salacious. I'll warn you that although there has been a good amount of fluff up to now, this story, more than anything, is about the fucked up way that Sasuke and Naruto were raised and how it causes them to be well-meaning but still fucked up adults. Sasuke's previous infatuation for Itachi is a remnant of an extraordinarily warped childhood; now that he's learning what it's like to be loved and to love in return, well, those ghosts have to be confronted. 
> 
> So... Boruto is more like his dad than he'd like to think, dattebayo! Sasuke may as well give up on him giving up!  
> Sorry that there wasn't more intimate time between Sasuke and Naruto in this chapter, but at least you can see Sasuke's response to his and Naruto's first time. 
> 
> What do you think of Izumi? She won't be like her counterpart in canon, although she will have some overlapping similarities. 
> 
> Let me know what you think! You're more than welcome to find me on Tumblr: https://uchihabride.tumblr.com/
> 
> Thank you so much to all my faithful readers! Your kudos, comments, and bookmarks have made a very dull part of my year very fulfilling. I have seriously loved all the feedback you've given me and the conversations your comments have spawned. Also, if you're reading this through translator in another language, whether you've commented or not, OMG--I adore you. I know how hard it is to make up for what translator lacks, and the fact that anyone would go through that trouble for my story makes them very precious to me. You all encourage me to write and keep my enthusiasm fresh. <3


	24. Uninvited Guests, Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What is Izumi doing here all of a sudden? Sasuke has questions, but answers are not forthcoming. Boruto has his first iaido lesson. An old face makes a new appearance in Konoha.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Boy/Boy stuff. WARNING: DESCRIPTIONS OF VIOLENCE AND SEXUAL ABUSE OF A CHILD. I have tried not to be too explicit with these descriptions, but they are there. They are in the first part of the story during Sasuke's conversation with Izumi.

The woman was absolutely imperturbable. Sasuke glared at her without reprieve; she just stood, serenely smiling back at him.

“What do you want?” he finally spat.

Izumi lowered her eyes. “I want to return some of Itachi’s things to you.”

“Itachi died 16 years ago. Why now?” he demanded.

Izumi looked back up at him. “You are an uncommonly difficult man to find, for one thing,” she said.

“Not difficult enough, obviously.” Sasuke snorted. “Do you not believe in mail?”

“Some things are too precious to entrust to the postal service,” Izumi replied. “I apologize for my rather random appearance, Sasuke. I tried earlier to track you down. It was fortuitous that I was able to be in Konoha while you were, too, this time.”

“So you’ve tried before?” Sasuke asked angrily. “What are you doing, stalking me? Do you just need another Uchiha male to latch onto?”

Izumi met his eyes, her expression changing imperceptibly. “Itachi requested that I look out for you before he passed on. I have tried to do that while maintaining a respectful distance. This is yours. I am not certain of its contents, but Itachi kept it with him. I must beg your forgiveness in returning it to you so late.”

She sighed and looked down again. “Itachi was very special to me. I was rather selfish in wanting to keep what tangible reminders I had of him.”

Sasuke felt his frown deepen. He crossed his arms. “So you were in love with him. That’s your excuse for withholding his personal effects from his next-of-kin—fuck that, his last of kin—and stalking me for 16 years?”

“I don’t expect you to understand or to welcome me with open arms. As to your question, I was not in love with Itachi, although I did love him terribly. I considered him a friend, an elder brother...”

She did not blink when Sasuke flinched.

“… perhaps even a father.”

“How in the hell could you have looked at Itachi as anything near a father? He wasn’t that much older than you,” Sasuke said, his diction dripping with spite.

“He was very young, you’re right. But his circumstances aged him beyond his years. I wouldn’t know what it was like to have a father, really, but I always imagined that it would be like having Itachi watching over me.”

“Hn.” Sasuke sneered at her. A violent urge to toss her bodily out of his store possessed him. She had arrogated his rights to the last family he had, the one person who had meant anything to him after losing his parents. “So. You’re just a long-lost Uchiha, coming to pay respects and make friends 16 years too late.”

“I don’t particularly care for the Uchiha name,” Izumi answered coolly. “It has not served me well in life, and aside from its association with Itachi, to whom I owe a great debt, it has no meaning to me.”

Sasuke fumed. Itachi had been his brother, and he’d been robbed of him over and over again. Izumi seemed to be one more thief bent upon taking his place as Itachi’s brother away from him.

"So, _Uchiha Izumi_ , how did you meet my brother?”

Izumi delicately touched the scar on her cheek. “He rescued me,” she said.

“From what? Prostitution? Boredom?”

“You know what this scar means,” she said softly. “I was ten when it was given to me.”

Sasuke’s angry denunciations froze on his tongue.

“You and Itachi were the last generation of Uchiha born in the United States,” Izumi continued, “but I was the last of the Uchiha in Japan.”

Sasuke’s eyes hardened, but he did not interrupt.

“The same man who destroyed your family also destroyed mine. My father died when I was too young to remember. I was not yet ten when men came for my mother and me. My mother was beaten brutally, but left alive—they informed her clearly of their plans for me, I’m sure as a form of torture. I was brought illegally to the United States and handed over to a pimp.”

Acid bubbled up in Sasuke’s throat. He had worked for the man who had set those injustices in motion.

“I was drugged and beaten. The first time a ‘client’ was sent to me, I was terrified. I screamed and kicked. I bit. When I drew blood, my boss was sent for. He held me down and gave me this scar. He then invited the client as well as his goons to take their turns initiating me into my new profession.”

Sasuke’s head pounded. Izumi’s story, told with a minimum of emotion, sickened him to his core. He thought of Sarada, completely unaware of how much baggage was attached to her surname: she was now older than Izumi had been at the time of her abduction.

“Itachi heard me screaming. I still don’t know how, exactly. He… intervened. He was only 14 or 15 at the time, but he took on all of those men. He took me away and procured medical care for me, which saved my life.”

Sasuke regretted his harsh response to Izumi, but he did not feel like apologizing for it. Still, he could sympathize with the feeling of being singled out and having one’s life turned upside down. He knew from experience that words of condolence were hollow and insulting after enduring such things. “I’m glad he was there,” he said hoarsely, meaning it sincerely.

“As am I,” Izumi said. For the first time since she had walked through the door, emotion shadowed her features.

After a heavy silence, she said quietly, “I believe I have you to thank, as well.”

Sasuke glared at her. “That’s ridiculous.”

“Itachi’s love for you was so immense that you were always present for him. I believe that when he heard my cries that night, he heard you. And when he saw me injured, he saw his beloved otouto. He couldn’t be there for you, his brother, so he rescued me. I sometimes was jealous of you, because I knew that I was only a shadow of you in his mind. I wanted him to love me as much as he loved you. I wanted to exist as myself in his eyes.” She smiled, but tears glistened in the corners of her eyes.

“He had that effect on the people who cared about him,” Sasuke said sardonically. “So, what, did he raise you from there on out? He was a criminal. What kind of life was that for a child? Was it ‘take your kid to assassination day’ every week?”

Ironically, Sasuke recalled all the times he had wished that Itachi had spirited him away with his gang when he had absconded from Konoha.

Izumi’s laughter tinkled delicately. “Ah, but was the alternative preferable?” she asked. “I did not travel with him during his assignments. I had, shall we say, an _extraordinar_ _y_ childhood from that point on.”

Sasuke’s stomach turned. “Did he leave you in the whorehouse?” He was alarmed to consider that Itachi might only have saved Izumi for a kinder, gentler form of prostitution.

Izumi stared at him haughtily. “Itachi had very strong beliefs about trafficking children,” she said. “As I said, it was an _interesting_ childhood. I was never approached with that sort of intent again. Itachi was very firm about that, as were the workers and the management in the facility I stayed in.”

Sasuke shook his head. “This is surreal.”

“It is,” Izumi agreed. “There was no way for Itachi to provide any sort of normal life for me. He did, however, teach me how to survive, how to cultivate my skills so that I would never again be subjugated the way that I had been. He was stern with me, but that was the kindest way for him to be. I was in no position to cultivate my weaknesses, so he toughened me. He taught me to defend myself. He taught me how to be aware of my surroundings at all times.”

The heaviness of Sasuke’s grief for Itachi pushed against him with new force. Somehow, at his core, he had remained the same person that Sasuke recalled from his childhood—despite being a paid assassin, despite being forced into the sort of criminality that must have sickened him.

“What do you do, now?” Sasuke asked. He did not expect honesty. Being raised by a teenage criminal polymath and a group of prostitutes could not lead to a conventional life.

“Whatever is necessary,” Izumi replied. “What’s the phrase? A jack of all trades, master of none? Or, I suppose, a jenny of all trades, mistress of a few.”

Sasuke looked at her as he weighed her words. “How long are you in Konoha?”

“Not long, I should think,” Izumi responded pleasantly. “No longer than is absolutely necessary.”

Izumi’s response put him on guard; he was almost certain that this had been her intent.“Necessary for what?”

“I’m really just visiting,” she said. “Konoha’s a quaint town, with all its rich ties to Japanese culture.”

“What are you doing here, though?” Sasuke asked pointedly. “Do you have connections with Itachi’s old organization?”

She tilted her head and looked at him teasingly. “Do you mean Akatstuki? Was it not your organization, as well?”

“Very briefly,” he replied. “And you?”

Izumi’s expression turned from teasing to slightly mocking. “I see so much of Itachi in you,” she said. “I see him especially in your eyes; you have Uchiha eyes. You must also have inherited at least a portion of his boundless intellect and agility of thought.”

Sasuke squinted at her, annoyed. He said nothing.

“Do you suppose, Sasuke,” she asked, “that someone in my position would work for the person that had kidnapped, trafficked, and mutilated them? Would that sound reasonable or sane, in your opinion?”

His tongue felt as if it were glued to the roof of his mouth.

“One of Itachi’s greatest dreams,” she said quietly, “was to put an end to that organization once and for all. I took that dream for myself, even before he died.” She looked at him levelly.

Sasuke studied her face carefully, looking for hints that she was lying. Although she seemed to be speaking truthfully, her sudden, almost nonsensical appearance warranted caution. Destroying Akatsuki had been one of his most cherished dreams, as well, and he had worked for years to see it through. There had been no chatter from the underworld about Akatstuki or its members for a long time; this was in large part due to his own personal efforts.

“So you are really just here to return Itachi’s things?” he asked warily.

Izumi’s lilting giggle jangled his nerves. “I am here to return Itachi’s things,” she said. “And, perhaps, to do a bit of sightseeing. You can imagine, Sasuke, how few opportunities for leisure there are for those of us with non-traditional careers.”

Sasuke grew impatient with her obfuscations. Itachi clearly had taught her well; she had expertly redirected the conversation every time Sasuke had demanded concrete answers. Eerily, she had even adopted some of Itachi’s mannerisms.

“You know,” she said, “Itachi kept up with you, always. He would somehow acquire the _Konoha Ledger_ regularly, and he’d scour it for news of you. He kept articles about your aikido and iaido tournaments and your academic honors _._ As I recall, there was plentiful mention of those. _”_

Sasuke’s chest ached at the thought of his brother, exiled into the underworld, looking intently for any news he could get about him.

“I used to dream that we could be a family,” Izumi said. “You, Itachi and I—I drew pictures of us all the time. On the few occasions we could travel together, I was always proud when people mistook me for his sister. He used to use you to scold me.”

 She laughed. “If I objected to training with him, or complained of exhaustion, he would say that ‘Sasuke trains whether he is tired or not.’ If I refused to study or behaved rudely, he would tell me that no one would ever mistake me for Sasuke’s sister, because Sasuke had such good manners and was so well-read.”

Sasuke winced. As a child, Itachi had always been his standard, his touchstone. It was he who had worn the shoes Sasuke so desperately wanted to fit into; Itachi had graduated from high school at age 10, was courted by Ivy League schools and renowned music conservatories by age 13. Their parents had never failed to mention these things to Sasuke when he displeased them.

“That was manipulative of him,” he said bitterly.

Izumi’s eyes flashed angrily. In an instant, her face was impassive again. “He was a teenager trying to survive in a criminal organization. In addition, he found himself responsible for raising a child prostitute. Perhaps it’s a bit unfair to expect orthodox parenting of him.”

Sasuke said nothing. For years, he had mourned the way that Itachi had been robbed of a childhood. It still was not easy to see him as anything less than an authority figure; knowing that their parents’ connivance had passed itself down to him was always an uncomfortable fact to face.

“I have kept you long enough, Sasuke. I leave you with this; you’re the rightful heir of everything Itachi held dear.” Izumi handed him the furoshiki-wrapped package.

“Take this, as well,” she said, reaching around her neck. She unfastened a delicate gold chain hung with a small, crude-looking iron key. “This is the key to the contents. As I said, I have never looked inside. I would have felt I was disrespecting both you and Itachi.”

Sasuke took the key from her and pocketed it. He noticed for the first time the white and red enameled uchiwa hanging on Izumi’s neck. It seemed an odd accessory for a woman who claimed to have no fealty to the family or its name.

“Please, Sasuke, take care. As I said before, I see so much of Itachi in your eyes. I wish you and your family the best.”

“Arigato,” Sasuke said, reflexively. Izumi smiled softly, bowed, then turned around and left.

He stood and looked after her for a several minutes. A strange sensation fell over him, one he had not had in years—the uncomfortable feeling of being watched when he should have been alone. He shook his head as if to fling the feeling off. He shut down the store and locked the door behind him, lugging the package Izumi had given him as he stalked out to his car.

 

* * *

 

“You got a fancy present, Sasuke!”

Naruto noticed the package the moment he walked in. It had sat, a stolid and silently reproachful visitor, on Sasuke’s table for two days.

“What is it?” Naruto asked.

“Don’t know.”

“Open it, then! I wanna see what it is!” Naruto bounced on his feet and wrung his hands. At any other time, Sasuke would have found his mannerisms amusing, charming, even. Tonight, they annoyed him.

“I don’t want to right now, Naruto,” Sasuke snapped.

“But why? It’s a present!” Naruto did not seem to notice the frustration in Sasuke’s voice, or the warning he was trying to broadcast to him. “Who gave it to you?”

“Some woman who came into the store,” Sasuke said impatiently. “I’m not all that eager to see what it is.”

His expression seemed to catch Naruto by surprise, because he backed off and looked apologetic. “Ah. OK.”

  
They sat together on the couch, Naruto babbling about preparations for the upcoming school year and Sasuke half listening.

“… but I just don’t _like_ it, though,” Naruto rambled. “What do you think, Sasuke?”

“Hm?”

The sound of Sasuke’s name caught him off guard. He snapped his head up. Naruto looked at him in astonishment.

“I was asking you what you think about what I said about our new school secretary,” Naruto said slowly.

The one-sided conversation had not even registered in Sasuke’s mind.

As he fumbled for an apology, Naruto said, “You’ve been different tonight, Sasuke. Is everything all right?”

“Yes. Everything’s fine. I’m just preoccupied,” he said, hoping his tone was sufficiently apologetic.

Naruto’s sunlit smile soothed Sasuke’s frayed nerves by a fraction. “Hey, don’t apologize. I know we were gonna cook tonight, but let’s go out, Sasuke. You need a break.”

Sasuke sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “Where would you like to eat?”

“How about Villa Fiorini and we take a walk on the beach after?” Naruto suggested.

“Sounds like a plan.” Sasuke rose and walked to the door and slipped on his shoes. As he thought of leaving the apartment, as well as the furoshiki-clad repository of Itachi’s last earthly possessions, his equanimity began to return.

 

All thoughts of Izumi and her bizarre appearance in Tomoe sank to the bottom of his mind as he ate and listened to Naruto. The good food, Naruto’s animated company, and the whispers of the waves calmed him and brought him into the present.

“Have you started training with Boruto, yet?” Naruto asked as he reached for the antipasti.

“No. We start next Saturday. I expect him to be disappointed. I am somewhat certain he’ll quit immediately.” Sasuke dipped the crust of his bread into olive oil as he smirked.

“Hey, what are you gonna do?” Naruto asked in alarm. “You’re not really gonna beat him with bamboo bokken, are ya? Because that’s fucked up, and I would definitely kick your ass.”

Sasuke snorted in amusement. “No, I don’t use training as a thinly-veiled opportunity to abuse children, usuratonkachi. Did you really think I would?”

Naruto grinned, somewhat chastened. “Heh. I was pretty sure you wouldn’t, but the evil gleam in your eye made me reconsider.”

“Evil gleam?” Sasuke actually laughed. “Your imagination works overtime.”

“I mean, you looked really… gleeful,” Naruto said. “That’s it. You looked _gleeful_ when you said you expected him to quit. _Gleeful,_ Sasuke.”

Sasuke laughed aloud. “Gleeful? Dobe. I admit, I might be looking forward to _not_ teaching your stubborn offspring, but I don’t feel anything remotely approaching glee.”

“Good luck with your expectations,” Naruto said. “That kid is determined. You’re gonna have to be ten times as determined, which means you probably _would_ have to beat him to get him to quit at this point.”

“I’ll just have to hope,” Sasuke said.

Naruto laughed loudly; the other diners in their area looked over and smiled. “You’re literally hoping to make him hate your lessons so much that he drops them. You have underestimated the power of Uzumaki spite.”

“Uzumakis tend to overestimate Uchiha patience,” Sasuke retorted. He smiled, though. The world had seemed incredibly off-kilter for the past few days; Naruto’s laughter set it properly on its axis.

“I dunno. Overestimating Uchiha patience turned out good for this Uzumaki,” Naruto said. His eyes danced.

Sasuke could only be grateful for that fact. “Hn.”

The sun was just setting over the ocean when he and Naruto finished. They walked along the beach, Naruto talking animatedly as Sasuke listened and occasionally responded. The evening was comfortably warm, the stars just beginning to appear against the lavender backdrop of twilight.

Naruto ran towards him and took his hand. “This is just perfect, isn’t it, Sasuke?” His blue eyes gleamed, and his smile stretched broadly across his face. He looked as if he had shed ten years as he’d played in the water.

Sasuke smiled at him fondly and tousled his hair. Naruto moved towards him. He found himself falling backwards, Naruto atop him.

Naruto yelped as they tumbled onto the sand.

Sasuke stared up at him, too astonished to respond or resist.

“Shit, Sasuke, I’m so sorry!” Naruto cried.

“What are you trying to do, idiot?”

Naruto looked sheepish. “I was gonna kiss you, because you looked so handsome, and I lost my footing.”

Sasuke silently quaked with laughter. Naruto stared at him in alarm. His expression made the entire situation even more absurd, and soon, Sasuke was laughing aloud. Naruto looked at him in shock, still sprawled over him.

“That much enthusiasm for a kiss,” Sasuke wheezed, still laughing uncontrollably.

Naruto grinned and looked away, abashed. Sasuke nudged him with his foot.

“Don’t tell me you knocked me down for no good reason at all,” he taunted between chuckles.

Naruto looked down at him and smiled. He leaned in, his chest hovering over Sasuke’s, and kissed him warmly on the lips. The familiarity of Naruto’s mouth, his tongue’s cautious request for more, invited Sasuke into an amnesiac warmth.

Sasuke gave into the kiss, pulling Naruto down against him and thrusting their tongues together. Naruto attempted to pull away, but Sasuke held him by the nape of the neck, refusing to release him.

Naruto shifted against him and moaned quietly. Suddenly cognizant once more of his surroundings, Sasuke gave him one last peck on the lips and pushed him up. Naruto sat up and looked at Sasuke, smiling awkwardly and scratching his head.

“Wow, Sasuke, that was really… demonstrative,” he said, somewhat breathless. “And public? Since when are you into PDA?”

Sasuke snorted. “Rich, coming from the idiot who threw me down on the public beach.” He sat up and shook the sand out of his hair.

Naruto looked down, embarrassed and blushing. “Bastard. Told ya it was an accident,” he grumbled.

Sasuke arched one brow and looked at him. “Would you like to do it on purpose?”

Naruto’s mouth fell open. His shocked gape amused Sasuke. “Here? Are you serious?”

“Yes, dobe. Let’s make out explicitly on the public beach,” he said sarcastically.

Naruto frowned in annoyance. “But you just said...”

“I did just say,” Sasuke said, enjoying Naruto’s irritation. “What I meant was, would you like to do it somewhere more private?”

He smiled as his proposition finally dawned on Naruto.

“Oh. Oh!” he shouted. “Yeah, let’s go!”

He jumped up and stretched out his hand to Sasuke.

They fell together somewhat awkwardly as Sasuke pulled himself up. Sasuke moved in for another kiss. Once again, he lost himself. Naruto moaned into his mouth and pulled him in tighter.

“Excuse me, _sirs...”_ a shrill, affronted voice interrupted.

Sasuke pulled away from Naruto to see a pudgy, middle aged woman frowning at them.

“This is a public beach. There are _children_ around who can see you,” she scolded.

Naruto snickered. At any other time, Sasuke would have been horrified at the thought of being caught making out publicly. Tonight, he could not bring himself to care. He found himself laughing along with Naruto.

“I’m glad you think this is amusing,” the woman spat. “I brought my kids to play on the beach, not to see…” she gestured towards Naruto and Sasuke in frustration, “… _this.”_

“Is that one of your children over there, floating off into the horizon unattended?” Sasuke said flatly.

The woman’s eyes grew large; she turned around in panic to run towards the shoreline.

“Nobody was floating off into the horizon,” Naruto whispered, laughing.

“She doesn’t know that,” Sasuke answered. “Should have been watching her kids instead of us.”

Naruto laughed again. “Can’t say you’re wrong.”

“Let’s go, usuratonkachi,” Sasuke said after he kissed him once again. They passed a teenage boy and girl entwined on the sand as they made their way back.

“Better watch out,” Naruto told them, mimicking the pudgy woman’s voice. “There are _children_ around who can see you.” He laughed again, and Sasuke could not help but chuckle as well. The couple looked at them, bewildered.

“Think they’re stoned?” Sasuke heard the girl ask her boyfriend as they walked off. He smiled to himself.

He felt free and light, in a way he had never felt in his life. He also needed Naruto in his arms as he had never needed anything.

 

They were barely able to contain themselves as Sasuke fumbled for the key to his apartment. With the door closed behind them, Sasuke advanced upon Naruto, pushing their lips together. The kiss was feral, Sasuke dominating Naruto’s mouth with his tongue and his teeth.

Unaccustomed to Sasuke taking charge, Naruto was unusually yielding in his arms. He pressed into the kiss, moaning as Sasuke ripped at his shirt.

Naruto’s uncharacteristic submission was exactly what Sasuke needed. The buttons popped off of Naruto’s blue polo and skittered across the floor as Sasuke tugged it over his head haphazardly. Sasuke kissed the tanned skin of Naruto’s neck and bit his shoulder. Naruto groaned and pulled at Sasuke’s shirt.

Sasuke held Naruto’s arms away as he kissed and sucked down his throat. He walked forward steadily, pushing Naruto towards his bedroom. The grunts and moans emanating from Naruto’s lips urged him onward.

He released his grip on Naruto’s arms when they reached his bed. Naruto tumbled backwards onto the mattress. “Hey,” he panted, “ _I_ was supposed to be throwing _you_ down.”

Sasuke smiled down at him. A flush spread from Naruto’s chest, up his neck, and over his face. His eyes were wide and eager, his lips swollen and dark pink from the ferocity of their kisses. “Do you have a problem with that?” Sasuke asked.

“Hell, no,” Naruto said emphatically.

Sasuke’s eyes roved over him. Naruto had been swimming daily, and it had left his upper body even more toned than usual. The sun had made his hair a brighter shade of blond and had deepened his tan. He was even more beautiful than Sasuke remembered; the bright, shining eyes, looking up at him so expectantly, filled him with the desire to cherish and protect Naruto.

The heated possessiveness from moments earlier dissipated. In its place grew a hunger to nurture and worship. He spread Naruto’s legs apart slightly and lowered himself against him; both of them caught their breath as they came together skin to skin. Sasuke threaded his fingers through Naruto’s soft, golden hair and kissed his face gently.

He caught Naruto’s lower lip in his mouth and suckled; Naruto squirmed and sighed beneath him. There was so much Sasuke longed to tell him: how much Naruto healed him, how beautiful he was, how much he loved him.

The words were still intimidating. Worst of all were the words that Sasuke had just begun to think.

_I need you._

Sasuke could hardly bear to consider them, much less to vocalize them. So he kissed Naruto’s face and his hands. He kissed each individual finger. He kissed the angry fox emblazoned over his chest and the seal that marked Naruto’s refusal to give in to his inner demons. One person after another had failed Naruto and let him down through his life; Sasuke’s kisses were as much an effort to salve those wounds as to tell Naruto how much he meant to him.

He swirled his tongue over the spiraling ink around Naruto’s navel, sucking and biting the tattooed flesh. Naruto’s hips twisted and he groaned.

Sasuke unbuckled Naruto’s pants and slid them down, then took off his own. He lay down beside him and took his face into his hands. He pressed his mouth to his, infusing all of his longing and adoration into his kiss.

_This is what you deserve. To be adored. To be held closely and kept safe._

Naruto’s tongue slipped hungrily over his, exploring Sasuke’s mouth as if he were trying to memorize its contours. Sasuke sucked at it and pulled Naruto tightly against him. Chest to chest, they embraced. Naruto’s hands were warm and reassuring on the skin of Sasuke’s back.

Sasuke kissed down Naruto’s jaw and over his throat. Naruto twined his fingers through Sasuke’s hair; Sasuke rained moist kisses over his chest and neck, gently sucking in places and marking Naruto’s skin.

He rubbed his thumbs over the pink nipples. They pebbled beneath his touch and stood erect, eager for more stimulation. He flicked his tongue over one of them, causing Naruto to moan and writhe. He then breathed over the wet, hardened flesh.

“Sasuke…” Naruto groaned.

Sasuke took the hardened nipple into his mouth, sucking gently at first, then hard enough that it made a loud pop when he released it. He lavished the same attention over the other as his hand wandered down to cup Naruto’s bulging erection.

“Mmhm,” Naruto growled.

Sasuke released the nipple from his lips and traveled down Naruto’s torso. He gripped his ass tightly as he swept his tongue over the vivid, pink head. The slit glistened, freely leaking pre-come. Sasuke longed to take Naruto’s length into his mouth, but he teased both Naruto and himself by kissing and nipping at the tanned upper thighs.

He lightly touched Naruto’s shaft as he sucked his balls into his mouth.

“Sas… uke…” Naruto whined, helpless.

Sasuke released the tight sac from his mouth. Naruto nearly came off of the bed when he prodded his perineum with the tip of his tongue. Sasuke flattened his tongue and worked it against the sensitive area, paying attention to Naruto’s noises and movements and responding accordingly.

His fingers took over for his mouth as he worked his way downward. He buried his face between Naruto’s legs the way he’d been wanting to, taking in his musky scent and lapping around the tight, puckered entrance hungrily. He had been craving this since their make-out session at the beach.

“Aanhh, Sasuke,” Naruto moaned.

Unable to restrain himself any longer, Sasuke plunged his tongue into Naruto’s welcoming heat. He speared into the warm hole over and over again as Naruto gasped and gripped his hair. Sasuke maintained the tension in his fingers, working his perineum as he ate him out.

He pulled away briefly, spreading Naruto’s ass with his hands. He spat into Naruto’s hole: Naruto moaned loudly and his hips came up off the bed.

Sasuke then sucked his fingers, wetting them thoroughly. He carefully prodded at Naruto’s entrance, slipping past the first ring of muscles with little resistance. When he had entered Naruto completely, he licked him once again. Naruto mewled and rocked down onto his finger, so Sasuke added the other.

Naruto tugged sharply at his hair.

“Sa…su… ke…” he breathed raggedly.

Sasuke pulled his face away from Naruto’s warmth slowly. “Hm?”

“Want you,” Naruto said.

Sasuke did not remove his fingers; he thrust them into Naruto harder. He moved up, stopping to take the hard, wet cock into his mouth the way he wanted to. Naruto tugged at his hair again.

“Not…” Naruto panted, “not that way. Sasuke.”

Sasuke rose up with no small amount of disappointment. He desperately wanted to make Naruto come, craved the taste of his orgasm. Nevertheless, he came to rest beside him, kissing him wetly as he withdrew his fingers.

Naruto cupped the nape of his neck in his hand and looked at him. His blue eyes shone in the dim light, full of earnest affection and unabashed desire.

“I need you, Sasuke,” he murmured.

Sasuke reached over him, pulling the bottle of lube from the side table. He opened it and poured it out on his fingers to begin preparing himself for Naruto.

Naruto grabbed his wrist. “I want you inside of me, Sasuke,” Naruto whispered. “Please?”

Sasuke studied his face closely. “Are you sure?”

Naruto nodded emphatically.

The kiss Sasuke bestowed on his lips was passionate, but gentle. Naruto had taken great care with Sasuke every time they had made love. The idea of hurting him filled Sasuke with anxiety. He willed his hands not to shake as he found Naruto’s entrance.

“Are you really sure, Naruto?” he asked again. He did not try to enter him; he let his fingers rest just above his orifice.

Naruto nodded. Sasuke gently pushed one finger inside of him, then another. He moved them around, stretching him and spreading the lube over his inner walls. Naruto closed his eyes and sighed as Sasuke fingered him. He slowly began to rock against the intruding digits, begging for more. Sasuke thrust them in and out, slightly harder and faster, enjoying the way Naruto’s body clenched around them.

“That’s enough,” Naruto panted. “I need you inside me.”

Sasuke nodded once. He carefully withdrew his fingers.

Naruto rolled over and rose up onto his hands and knees. “I want it from behind, Sasuke,” he said over his shoulder. Sasuke’s cock went fully erect at his words.

Sasuke reached over Naruto once again to find a condom. He tore open the foil and tossed it aside, then rolled the rubber sheath over his cock. He coated himself generously with lube and positioned himself at Naruto’s entrance.

“Tell me if I hurt you, Naruto,” he commanded. Naruto nodded.

Sasuke placed one hand on Naruto’s hip to steady himself and to reassure the blond. He pushed in slowly, stopping just after he breached the outer ring of muscles. Naruto breathed steadily, relaxing himself and becoming accustomed to the stretch.

“You can go ahead, Sasuke,” he whispered.

It was much harder, Sasuke learned, to push farther while still being gentle. He did the best he could, until he was halfway sheathed inside of Naruto.

He broke into a sweat. His body demanded more of the tight warmth, despite his restraint. He rubbed Naruto’s back gently, trying to gauge how tense he was.

“G-g-go ahead, Sasuke,” Naruto panted. “All the—anh—all the way.”

Slowly, Sasuke pushed until he was completely buried in Naruto. The feeling was incomparable. Naruto was so tight and slick around him, so warm. He bent over his lover’s back, kissing between his shoulder blades and at the nape of his neck and trying to refrain from wantonly pumping into him with everything he had.

Naruto shook a little as he adjusted. Sasuke embraced him and laid his head on his shoulder.

It felt like a small eternity. He was completely encompassed by warmth, his body roaring for release.

Finally, Naruto lifted his head. “Move, Sasuke. Please move.”

Sasuke slowly pulled almost all the way out of Naruto, then just as slowly pushed back in. He did this a few times more before Naruto growled, “Harder, dammit!”

The tightness and the motion sent extraordinary sensations through Sasuke’s body. Distantly, he wondered why he and Naruto had waited so long for this. He grasped Naruto’s waist as he thrust as deeply as he could.

“Sasu…” Naruto panted. “Shit, Sasuke…”

Sasuke slammed into Naruto violently. It felt heavenly, but it lacked something…

“Naruto,” he breathed, “wanna see your face.”

Naruto stilled. Sasuke pulled out slowly. Naruto turned to face him, and Sasuke nearly broke at the wide-open look in his eyes.

Sasuke sat back on his heels, spreading his legs wide, and pulled Naruto to sit on his thighs. Naruto wrapped his arms and legs around Sasuke and laid his head on his shoulder.

Sasuke found Naruto’s entrance again with his fingers. He covered himself in lube once again and positioned himself. Naruto raised up as he felt Sasuke’s cock at his entrance, then sank down on him in one go.

“Fuck, Naruto!” Sasuke cried out.

At the same time, Naruto exclaimed, “Shit!”

Sasuke gripped Naruto’s ass with one hand, allowing Naruto to control the speed and depth of the thrusts and rising to meet him as he sank down.

With his other hand, he gripped the back of Naruto’s neck.

“Ah, aah,” Naruto gasped. “Oh, fuck!” He bounced harder, leaning forward slightly to exploit the angle he had found.

Sasuke took possession of Naruto’s lips, swallowing his moans and curses. Naruto’s fingers dug into his shoulder and his back as he came.

His muscles spasmed around Sasuke, milking his cock rhythmically. Sasuke quickly found himself on the brink. He pulled Naruto down hard on his cock as he thrust rapidly. He buried his face in Naruto’s neck as he went over the edge, his eyes going black.

All he wanted to do was stay this way, surrounded by Naruto’s warmth. He inhaled deeply; Naruto smelled of sweat and musk and sex. The world was perfect just then. Nothing existed but the two of them, Sasuke and the man with whom he had fallen in love.

He was loath to break the moment, but he lifted Naruto and laid him on the bed. He slipped the condom off, tied the end of it, and tossed it into the garbage. On shaking legs, he rose and walked to the kitchen. He filled a glass with cold, filtered water and wet some paper towels with the hottest water possible.

Naruto lay perfectly still on the bed, just as Sasuke had left him. Sasuke tenderly wiped away the semen on his belly and his cock, then kissed him softly on the lips.

“Naruto?” he whispered.

“Yeah,” Naruto answered hoarsely.

“You OK?”

“So good, S’ke,” he mumbled. Sasuke smiled at him.

“Come on and drink some water, dobe,” he urged. Naruto sat up groggily and took the glass of water from Sasuke’s hand.

He took a long swig and wiped his mouth off with the back of his hand. “Thanks.”

“How do you feel?” Sasuke asked nervously. “Do you want a hot bath?”

Naruto smiled somewhat drunkenly. “Nah, Sasuke. I feel good. I liked it a lot.”

Sasuke pulled the covers back and beckoned Naruto to join him under them. “Are you sure, Naruto?”

Naruto nodded emphatically. “I loved it. You made me come without touching me.”

“Did I hurt you?” Sasuke inquired.

Naruto kissed him and wrapped his arms around him. “No, Sasuke. It stretched and burned a little at first, but it was great. I never knew I could feel so good.”

Sasuke kissed the top of his head and pulled him close.

“I love you, Sasuke,” Naruto mumbled against his skin.

Sasuke said nothing for a moment. It was too difficult to say a word he had barely heard in his life. It was too frightening.

More frightening was the idea that Naruto could slip away from him without knowing how precious he was.

“You, too, usuratonkachi,” Sasuke finally answered back. More content than he had ever been, he drifted off to sleep, Naruto clasped tightly to his chest.

 

 

It was still dark outside when Sasuke startled awake, his heart pounding and his mouth parched. He couldn’t remember his dream this time; he was grateful for that small mercy, despite the fact that he could still feel its tentacles slithering over his mind.

He downed what was left of the water on the bedside table and slipped out of bed. He did not turn on the bathroom light immediately. Instead, he laid his face against the cool tiles of the wall and breathed slowly. When his heart rate steadied, he flipped the switch. He flinched immediately at the brightness.

He turned the shower on the hottest setting and waited for the water to warm up. He’d had a brief reprieve from his nightmares, but they were once again an almost nightly occurrence. Even when he couldn’t remember them, they plagued him for hours after waking.

He stepped under the water when the steam began curling out over the curtain. The water was uncomfortably hot, but he stood under the spray as his skin reddened. He washed himself off cursorily and stayed under the shower until the water ran cold. He toweled his hair off and wrapped himself in a bathrobe when he stepped out. Knowing he would not be able to sleep for a while, he went to the living room and sat down heavily upon the sofa.

The damned package Izumi had left him still sat on the table. His time with Naruto had allowed him to forget that it was there, but even in the darkness, he could see its outline, oppressively dark and heavier than gravity itself: a black hole that threatened to pull Sasuke in and crush him.

He picked it up and sat back. It was not heavy; it should have been much heavier to carry so much devastation within it. The thought of opening it left Sasuke feeling morbid and inappropriate, like a necrophiliac trying to catch a glimpse of a corpse. The dead deserved their rest, most especially Itachi.

He ran his hands over the furoshiki. He had lost Itachi so many times over. He did not think he could bear the possibility of finding new pieces of the puzzle to his brother’s life when he would never again have him. He recalled the first time he lost Itachi; his stomach turned and his head ached.

Over time, the memories had become less and less vivid; then, they were just absent. He had his nightmares, still, but in many ways, they were preferable—more abstract and less haunting. He could have cursed Izumi for bringing his memories crashing back over him, though it would have done him no good; unwelcome they might be, they crowded into his mind.

 

_Itachi comes to his bedroom to wake him before his alarm clock. “I’ll be walking you to school today,” he says. This is nothing new; Mother is frequently busy these days. When Itachi is tasked with walking him, he usually walks briskly, nearly leaving Sasuke behind. His mind is almost always miles away from Sasuke._

 

 _He irons Sasuke’s uniform and packs him a lunch. “Let’s get breakfast before we walk to school,” he tells Sasuke. This_ is _new. Meals out are a rarity. Sasuke is thrilled to have his brother to himself. It feels like an extravagance._

 

_At the diner, Itachi orders him whatever he wants, no restrictions. The waitress laughs when Sasuke orders one glass of tomato juice after another. She is quite a bit older than Itachi, but she blushes every time he calls her over to refill Sasuke’s glass. She ruffles Sasuke’s hair and calls him “little old man,” which makes Itachi laugh and Sasuke scowl._

 

_Itachi asks Sasuke about classes, about his friends, what Sasuke’s favorite sports are. He surprises him with a boxed set of books; it’s one of Sasuke’s favorite young readers’ series. Father doesn’t like Sasuke to read things that aren’t “serious literature” or pertinent to assignments, so Sasuke knows he will have to keep these hidden; he considers keeping them at school._

 

 _Sasuke is so happy he can’t stop smiling. Itachi smiles back at him; it’s been a long time since he’s seen his big brother smile. For the first time since Shisui… since Shisui did_ that thing _no one will talk about… Sasuke feels wanted and special. Itachi tells him that he should try art, or pick up a musical instrument to learn. It will help his brain, Itachi says. But it could also make him happy. Sasuke’s happiness is important, Itachi says._

 

_This is news to Sasuke—his father tells him that Sasuke’s discipline is important. His mother doesn’t say much of anything. She’s too busy supporting Father. Prior to breakfast today, nobody has even mentioned happiness to Sasuke—not as an option, still less as something vital._

 

_At the school, Itachi hugs him close. Sasuke is a little embarrassed; he doesn’t want the other kids to think he’s a baby who needs his big brother’s hugs. But he’s happy, too, because he loves Itachi so much, and he hasn’t hugged him in so long._

 

Four hours after Itachi dropped him off, Sasuke would no longer have a mother, a father, or a home. Itachi would be gone… _missing, presumed endangered_.

 

For a year, Sasuke had clung to the books Itachi gave him like a life raft. He had wished over and over again that he’d hugged his brother tighter, that he had not been so embarrassed about something so important as a hug. That had been the last time that Sasuke’s happiness had meant anything to anyone—least of all to him—until he encountered Naruto.

 

“Sasuke?”

 

Naruto’s voice was quiet and raspy in the dark.

 

“Naruto,” Sasuke answered. His voice came out thin and reedy. “Are you OK?”

 

“Yeah, I’m fine. What about you?” Sasuke could hear the concern in Naruto’s voice.

 

“I woke with a headache so I took a shower and came in here. You should go back to sleep,” he said. His voice sounded foreign to him.

 

Naruto sat beside him and fumbled for his hand. Sasuke allowed him to find it and entwine their fingers. “I’ll sleep later, Sasuke. Do you need some headache medicine?”

 

“No.”

 

“Hey, what’s this?” Naruto’s hand brushed against Izumi’s gift.

 

“That stupid package,” Sasuke muttered.

 

“Someone just gave it to you?” Naruto asked.

 

Sasuke sighed. “A woman showed up. She claimed to know Itachi. She says these are his things.”

 

He felt Naruto lay his head on his shoulder. “Ah, Sasuke. So that’s why you didn’t wanna open it,” he murmured.

 

Sasuke swallowed and nodded.

 

“You don’t have to until you’re ready, Sasuke,” he said gently. “Are you?”

 

Sasuke shook his head. Naruto took the package and set it back on the table. He wrapped his arms around Sasuke’s shoulders, and Sasuke sank into the embrace. He did not realize how tense his muscles were until he felt that tension ebb away under the influence of Naruto’s warmth.

 

Naruto kissed his head. Sasuke was profoundly grateful to have him there just then. He kept him from sinking into the tarry pits of his memories and self-recrimination.

 

Naruto took him by the hand and led him back to the bedroom. This time, he pulled him close, the way Sasuke slept the best, with his cheek against Naruto’s chest. He rubbed Sasuke’s back soothingly, and soon, he drifted off again.

 

* * *

 

The nightmares came every night after that. Sometimes he remembered them upon waking; other times, they just cast a jaundiced light over his disposition and his thoughts. He put Izumi’s package into a seldom-used closet. If life were going to force his encounter with her upon him, then he would at least choose if and when he looked through the gift she’d left him. He saw Kurenai, but he did not mention Izumi or the package.

 

Boruto showed up right at closing time on Saturday, to Sasuke’s dismay. He stood in a corner and waited quietly as Sasuke rang up the last sale of the day.

“So, uh, Mr… I mean… Sensei… do you have, like, a dojo or something?” Boruto asked eagerly as Sasuke locked the door. “And my mom sent a check for my gi or whatever it is that I need to wear.”

 

“I do not have a dojo. I have a training room. We will not be using it today. You will not need any special uniform,” Sasuke told him.

 

Boruto’s face fell. Sasuke noticed that he consciously fixed his expression, flattening out the petulant scowl and schooling his features into a neutral expression.

 

“So, your training room,” the child said, “is it here?”

 

“Yes,” Sasuke said. “We won’t be using it today.”

 

Once again, Boruto’s face fell. This time, he could not quite restrain his scowl. “So what are we gonna do, then?”

 

“I told you last week, we’ll be training,” Sasuke said irritably.

 

“Yeah, but if we’re not going to your training room, then how?” Boruto asked, almost as irritably.

 

“There are cleaning supplies in the room behind that door,” Sasuke said, pointing. “Go get gloves and dusters.”

 

“What? Seriously?” Boruto asked.

 

“Seriously,” Sasuke deadpanned.

 

Bewildered and disappointed, Boruto strode off to get the supplies Sasuke demanded.

 

He returned with the supplies. “What, now?” he asked, still somewhat hopeful.

 

“The books need dusting. Start with the outer shelves to your right.”

 

Boruto’s eyes bugged. “Dusting… books?” he asked, as if he might have misheard.

“Dusting books,” Sasuke confirmed. “I shouldn’t need to tell you that you need to keep the books in order.”

 

“O… kay…” Boruto said slowly. He trudged off to the book shelves, looking over his shoulder doubtfully.

 

He worked in silence for an hour as Sasuke tallied the sales totals for the week and wrote the checks for monthly and quarterly sales taxes. Sasuke noted that Boruto became increasingly impatient, looking over at him exasperatedly when he thought Sasuke was not watching. He smirked inwardly as he ignored the little huffs the child let out.

 

When his tasks were done, he walked leisurely over to the shelf where Boruto was working. “You’ve grown careless as you’ve gone along,” he said. He swept his finger over a shelf that Boruto had completed, holding it up and showing Boruto the dust he’d accrued. “It should be self-evident that the shelves should be dusted, as well. Why bother with dusting the books if you’re only going to put them back on a dusty shelf?”

 

Boruto frowned at him and sighed loudly, but he went back to work, dusting the shelves he’d neglected and paying slightly more attention to his job than he had been. Sasuke sat at his stool and looked through his emails. After thirty minutes, Boruto came to him.

 

“What does this have to do with Iaido?” he asked.

 

Sasuke looked up from his tablet slowly. “Are you questioning my instruction, Uzumaki?”

 

“I’d question it if you’d given me any,” he said angrily. “All I’ve done is dust books. You should be paying me.”

 

Sasuke looked him over. “This is part of your instruction. You either do it, or you leave.”

 

Boruto huffed and stomped back to the shelves and picked up where he had left off. Sasuke set a stopwatch on his tablet and smiled to himself.

 

After twenty minutes, Boruto strode back to Sasuke’s station. “Look, is this supposed to be some kind of wax-on, wax-off _Karate Kid_ thing? Because I really don’t see what I’m supposed to learn about Iaido from dusting books.”

 

“You’re right,” Sasuke said.

 

Boruto’s eyes grew large. He grinned triumphantly.

 

“I’m going to pay you,” Sasuke said. He withdrew twenty dollars from his wallet and held it out to Boruto. “This should be enough to pay for a ride back to your house. Don’t bother coming back.”

 

Boruto’s mouth gaped. “You said… you said… you promised! You promised to teach me iaido!” he stammered, flabbergasted.

 

“You promised not to question my instruction methods,” Sasuke said. “I’m surprised that you were more willing to be beaten than to dust some shelves.”

 

“But I don’t understand!” Boruto argued. “This is just janitorial work. Anybody could do it. I wanted to learn iaido.”

 

“You relentlessly demanded classes from me, despite the fact that I told you many times over that I don’t teach. You either do as I tell you to do from here on out, regardless of the task, or go home. Those are your options.” Sasuke did not raise his voice.

 

Boruto frowned angrily, but he pushed Sasuke’s hand with the twenty dollar bill in it back towards him. “How long?”

 

“Until I tell you it’s time to leave,” Sasuke answered.

 

Boruto straightened his back and went back to work.

Sasuke watched him secretly as he cleaned the books and the shelves. After another thirty minutes, Sasuke told him to stop. Boruto loaded the books back onto the shelf, relief visibly displayed over his face, and took the cleaning tools back to the office.

 

“Help me turn off all the lights,” Sasuke told him when he emerged. “I’ll drive you home.”

 

Boruto did as he was told and walked out of the store with Sasuke.

 

“Uh… Sensei?” he asked, when they were a few minutes out of his subdivision.

 

“Yes?”

 

“Could you tell me what you wanted me to learn from cleaning the books and shelves?”

 

Sasuke snorted. “I think it’s best if you reflect on that yourself,” he told the boy.

 

“When do I train again?” Boruto asked.

 

“Tomorrow. Come back to Tomoe at the same time. Wear something comfortable,” Sasuke said.

 

“Oh. Okay. Uh. Thanks? I appreciate you training me, Sensei,” he said as they arrived at Hinata’s house. He bowed slightly as he got out of the car.

 

“That’s not necessary,” Sasuke said. “Save it.”

 

Boruto looked at him in confusion before closing his car door and walking up the footpath.

 

Sasuke chuckled to himself as he drove back to his apartment. He had just parked in front of his building when his phone buzzed with a text message. He picked it up and saw Naruto’s number.

 

_How did he do?_

 

Sasuke smiled and shook his head as he texted back.

 

_Annoyingly stubborn. Can’t imagine where he gets it._

 

Naruto texted back a smiley face and an emoji blowing a raspberry.

 

Sasuke laughed to himself as he imagined Naruto sending the childish images. His phone buzzed again.

 

_Ur such a bastard. Lucky for you we Uzumaki seem to like you._

 

 _Luckily for you, we Uchiha are extraordinarily patient,_ Sasuke replied.

 

_That is lucky for us. BTW, ur a bastard, but ur my bastard. <3 <3 <3_

 

Sasuke smiled as he walked up to the second floor. Somehow, he had completely skipped over this ridiculous phase in his teenage years. He suspected Naruto had, as well. There was something about doing these absurd, childish things with Naruto—sending silly text messages, calling each other names—that made Sauske feel settled and happy, as if he were finally where he ought to be. He could face his nightmares and long-lost Uchihas if he could stay with Naruto this way.

 

 

The next day, Boruto showed up exactly when Sasuke had instructed him to. Sasuke looked him over; he had dressed down for the occasion, today, with loose sweatpants and a faded tee shirt. Moreover, he had adjusted his attitude. He did not look happy, though Sasuke would have been surprised if he had; he did, however, look alert and determined. Sasuke smiled to himself. He had seen this expression on Naruto’s face many times.

 

“I’m ready, Sensei,” Boruto said. “Will I be cleaning shelves today?”

 

“Yes,” Sasuke answered. “Start where you left off last night.”

 

Boruto nodded and went to fetch his supplies. Sasuke set a timer on his tablet for two hours and began purging old invoices from his filing system. From the corner of his eye, he watched as the blond-haired child worked.

 

To Boruto’s credit, he was capable of doing repetitive and unrewarding tasks when he was forced to. Sasuke had hoped the exercise would peeve Boruto enough to make him drop the idea of lessons altogether; true to Naruto’s warning, however, the boy’s innate obstinacy had trumped his indignation.

 

Boruto began to show small signs of restlessness after about an hour. He glanced over his shoulder at Sasuke from time to time. He did not huff or mutter, though, and he remained meticulous with his work. Sasuke found himself grudgingly impressed.

 

After an hour and a half, he still had not demanded further answers. Sasuke continued his own chores as Boruto worked in silence. Sasuke realized, now, that he would be teaching Boruto, regardless of his own reluctance.

 

Boruto did not glance backwards when Sasuke’s tablet signaled the end of the two hours.

 

Sasuke closed his files and locked them. “Boruto.”

 

Boruto turned around and looked at him questioningly.

 

“That’s enough with the shelves for today,” Sasuke said. “Put the cleaning supplies up then come back out here.”

 

“Hai, Sensei,” Boruto answered. He left to stow the cleaning supplies.

 

Sasuke inspected the shelves he had been working on. Unlike yesterday, both the shelves and the books were dusted. Everything had been put in order, with no dust left behind and not a single book out of place.

 

Boruto came back out and stood next to him. Sasuke reflected that Naruto would have been bursting with nervous energy at this point. The idea amused him.

 

“What do you think of your work today?” Sasuke asked.

 

Boruto looked at him askance, as if he were trying to suss out Sasuke’s motive for asking. “Uhm. I don’t know. What do you think of it?”

 

“I don’t need to ask my own opinion,” Sasuke replied. “Do you think you did an adequate job today?”

 

Boruto looked confused and uncomfortable. “I… guess? I tried to do a good job.”

 

“That’s for you to think about. I have something else to show you, now. Take off your shoes and follow me,” Sasuke said.

 

Sasuke led him to the noren that separated the sales floor and the tatami training room. “You can leave your shoes right there,” he instructed. Sasuke entered and flipped the light switch.

 

“Wow,” Boruto said in awe as he stepped in. “Is this your training room, Sensei?”

 

“Yes. This is it.”

 

“It’s amazing! Where did you get all these swords?”

 

“Many of them belonged to my clan. Others I acquired from antiques dealers,” Sasuke said. He watched as Boruto took in the array of weapons.

 

“What’s this?” Boruto asked. He pointed to the red and white fan spread open on a stand. “I mean, I know it’s a fan, but why is it here?”

Sasuke walked over to where the tessen was displayed and picked it up. He folded it and handed it to Boruto.

“It’s so heavy!” Boruto exclaimed.

“That’s because it’s made out of iron. It’s called a tessen,” Sasuke explained. “It’s a weapon.”

“Seriously?” Boruto exclaimed.

“Yes, seriously. Folded, it could be used as a small club. Unfolded, it could be used to deflect attacks at close range.”

“Has anybody ever fought with one, though, for real?” Boruto asked.

Sasuke took the tessen from Boruto and spread it out again, then set it back on its stand. “Yes. Samurai were not allowed to carry weapons into certain areas, such as the interiors of a feudal lord’s home or to theatrical performances. Fans, though, were permitted. One samurai is said to have come into a feudal lord’s home. When he bowed before the daimyo, one of the attendants attempted to slam the shoji door shut, which would have pinned his neck between the wall and the door and killed him. The samurai had extraordinary reflexes, though, and he whipped his tessen out of his belt and jammed it into the track of the door. The attendants were punished for so clumsily trying to kill him.”

 

“Shit!” Boruto shouted. He was aware of his slip immediately and blushed, chastened. “Uh, sorry. That’s hard core.”

Sasuke raised one brow. “That’s one way to put it. There’s another tale of a warrior who was attacked by an assassin while he was dressing. The assassin was skilled and was armed with a sword, while the warrior was practically naked. The warrior fended off his attacks with his tessen. The assassin was ultimately killed.”

“Is that actually true?” Boruto asked, his eyes large.

 

“Who knows?” Sasuke responded. “There’s likely some grain of truth to those stories.”

 

“Have you ever fought with one?”

 

“No,” Sasuke said. “This was in my family, so it was handed down to me. I imagine I could, if I had to. Almost anything can be a weapon if you really need it to be.”

 

Boruto delicately touched the enameled fan. “Sarada ought to learn how to use one,” he said softly. He blushed and looked down as soon as he had said it.

 

Sasuke recoiled. Thinking of his daughter as the object of someone’s attraction made him deeply uncomfortable.

 

“Will we train with these swords?” Boruto asked.

 

“What do you think?” Sasuke asked wryly.

 

“Probably not.”

 

“Definitely not. You will never use a sword as my student,” Sasuke said. Boruto’s crestfallen expression gave him a mean-spirited sense of gratification.

 

“But I’ll get to use a bokken, at least,” Boruto said. “I will, won’t I?” He looked alarmed, as if Sasuke might somehow force him to train with broomsticks.

 

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “It would be a novel form of instruction if you didn’t,” he said.

 

Boruto looked around the room again. “So I’ll get to train in here?” he asked hopefully.

 

“Yes, that’s the idea,” Sasuke said.

 

“Thanks so much, Sensei!” the boy suddenly gushed. “This is so great!”

 

“Save your gratitude for after you’ve actually had lessons,” Sasuke responded. “You need to work on your upper body strength. You should be doing weight-bearing exercises at least twice a week, and you should be exercising your core muscles daily. That’s important for iaido. You’ll also need to keep yourself flexible, so stretching exercises daily.”

 

“So, like, yoga or something?”

 

“Whatever. Take ballet, for all I care, but do something daily to maintain flexibility. It’ll show if you don’t apply yourself to those things.”

 

“I can do that,” Boruto said firmly. For a moment, Sasuke caught a fleeting glimpse of Naruto in Boruto’s expression—however his son felt about him, his father had passed along his resolve and tenacity.

 

“See that you do. You won’t get anywhere if you don’t,” Sasuke admonished. “It’s time to take you home, now. Let’s go.”

 

Boruto seemed disappointed to leave Sasuke’s training room. He took one last, wistful look around before Sasuke switched off the light, then followed him out to the car.

 

“I have to go to my dad’s today,” he told Sasuke as he buckled his seat belt.

 

“All right.”

 

 

It was not yet dark when they arrived at Naruto’s apartment. “I think the old man’s at the pool with Himawari,” Boruto told Sasuke. “You can come with me if you want to say hi to him.”

 

“Hn.” Sasuke followed Boruto, happy about the opportunity to see Naruto.

 

As they neared the pool, Sasuke heard Naruto’s voice. A woman laughed shrilly at whatever he had said, and then responded in an uncomfortably familiar voice. When Sasuke pushed the gate to the pool open, he could see Naruto playing in the shallow end of the pool with his daughter. Standing awfully close to him was a thin, pale woman with the reddest hair Sasuke had ever seen.

 

Naruto looked up as Sasuke walked in. “Hey, Sasuke!” he shouted happily.

 

The little black-haired child in his arms looked up and waved. “Hi, Sus-o-kay!” she said, imitating her father. Naruto ruffled her hair affectionately.

 

“Hello, Naruto,” Sasuke said. “Hello, littlest Uzumaki.” He glanced over at Naruto’s red-headed companion and realized why her voice had sounded so familiar. She smiled up at him pleasantly, but gave no indication that she knew him.

 

“Sasuke, this is Carolyn. She just moved into these apartments. She’s a nurse!” Naruto said. “Carolyn, this is Sasuke. He has a great bookstore on the edge of town. You should go there sometime!”

 

The woman looked at Sasuke thoughtfully. “I guess I should. I do like to read,” she said.

 

“Papa, trow me to Ca-owyn again,” Himawari demanded.

 

The red-headed woman giggled and put her hand on Naruto’s shoulder. “She is too cute!” she gushed. She patted Himawari’s arm. “I think I’m just going to take you home with me.”

 

“Nuh-uh, I glued to Papa,” Himawari answered, giggling. Everyone laughed.

 

Sasuke cleared his throat.

 

“How’d my boy do?” Naruto asked. “You didn’t beat him, did you?”

 

Boruto huffed. “No, Dad, he didn’t beat me.”

 

“He’s very attentive,” Sasuke said. “I expect him to be a good pupil. No beatings.”

 

Boruto looked pleased with himself, and Naruto grinned. “I told ya, didn’t I? He’s gonna be a great student.” He came up out of the water, only for Himawari to resist.

 

“I can hold her for a minute, Naruto,” the red-head offered, holding out her arms. Himawari stretched towards her.

 

“All right, then, here ya go!” Naruto said. He allowed her to take Himawari from his arms and walked up the steps. “You wanna eat with me and the kids tonight, Sasuke?” he asked.

 

Sasuke looked at him, hoping he didn’t look as eager as he felt. “Sure.” He glanced over at the woman playing with Naruto’s little girl. He could tell she was listening in on their conversation.

 

“That’s it, then!” Naruto said. “I’m so hungry I could eat a horse.”

 

“We don’t eat howsies, Papa!” Himawari protested, frowning. Naruto and his new friend laughed.

 

“No horsies, then, Himawari, I promise,” Naruto said as he lifted her out of the red-head’s arms. “It was nice to meet you, Carolyn! Let me know if you need anything!”

 

“I’ll do that, Naruto,” she said, smiling flirtatiously. “It was nice meeting you and your adorable little girl. And nice meeting you… Sasuke, was it?” she said, inclining her head towards him.

 

“Always good to make new acquaintances, _Carolyn._ ” Sasuke said dryly.

 

“Isn’t it? I suppose I’ll have to come in and have a look at this bookstore of yours sometime,” she replied.

 

Sasuke stared at her for a moment. “You do that.” She smirked and lifted herself out of the pool.

 

Soon, Sasuke was surrounded by Uzumakis as they made their way back to Naruto’s apartment for dinner. As much as he enjoyed being with Naruto, his mind strayed back to the red-headed woman at the pool throughout the night.

 

* * *

The next day proved to be a busy one, as much to Sasuke’s relief as to his irritation. He had stayed up far too late talking to Naruto, and then he’d slept fitfully once he came home. He was exhausted and irritable, in no shape to be dealing with the public. At the same time, the unexpected onslaught of business gave his mind no time to wander.

The day sped by. It was twenty minutes past closing when Sasuke realized the time. He hastily cleared the till and shut off the lights, eager to get into bed early. He had just begun to lock the door when someone pushed against it.

He angrily opened the door, causing the person pushing against it to fall into the store.

“Oh, fancy meeting you here,” he said snidely. “Carolyn, is it?”

The red-head stared at him irritably. “I’m not here to shop. We need to talk.”

Sasuke stood back and allowed her to walk in. He locked the door behind him. “What are you doing here, Karin?” he demanded.

“Not trying to hunt you down, if that’s what you’re wondering,” she said. “Cute boyfriend, by the way. I guess I owe Suigetsu $100.”

Sasuke looked at her questioningly.

“Oh, come on,” she said, rolling her eyes. “It was obvious from the way he looked at you. And from the way you looked at him. I haven’t been spying on you. I know that’s what you’re thinking.”

“So you’re with Suigetsu?” Sasuke asked.

“We live together,” Karin said. “You know what they say. Keep your friends close and your Suigetsu closer.”

“Then why isn’t he here with you?”

Karin looked pained. “He’s freaking out, Sasuke,” she said quietly. “That’s why I’m back in this Christ-forsaken little burg.”

Sasuke sighed. “What’s Suigetsu freaking out about?”

Karin looked at him as if she were seeing him in a new light. “You don’t know.”

Sasuke felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up. “Know what?” he demanded.

“Kabuto’s gone missing,” she answered. “Hasn’t shown up for his mandatory treatments.”

“So?” Sasuke asked.

“So you know how Suigetsu feels about that man,” Karin hissed. “Kabuto’s never failed to keep up with his court mandates. Now, he’s gone. Suigetsu is terrified that… well. We can’t find anything about him online. Not on the darkest of the dark web. We don’t hear about him anywhere.”

“So Kabuto disappeared. I couldn’t care less. If you’re here to make Suigetsu feel better about what he’s up to these days, I don’t know what to tell you. He hasn’t exactly been around to tea,” Sasuke replied.

Karin pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes. “Suigetsu was at that group home long before you were, Sasuke. And being Orochimaru’s pet kept you safe from Kabuto.”

“Orochimaru and Kabuto both went to prison, Karin. It’s been 16 years.”

“Could you stop interjecting for five minutes?” Karin demanded angrily. “I get it. You don’t share Suigetsu’s irrational fear of Kabuto and any possible schemes he might have. But there is some crazy shit going down, Sasuke, and it could affect all of us.”

“Can you be more specific than ‘crazy shit’?” Sasuke asked sharply.

“A body’s been found just outside of Konoha,” Karin answered. “Flayed. Its mandibles missing.”

A horrid coldness spread through Sasuke’s body. “I haven’t heard about it,” he said thickly.

“You wouldn’t have,” Karin answered. “It’s being kept very, very quiet. The FBI is investigating it, and they aren’t sharing details with state and local law enforcement.”

“What do you think, Karin?” Sasuke asked.

“I think about a hundred different things, Sasuke, but I don’t have anything other than intuition and wild guesses to go on. That isn’t all, though.”

She peered at Sasuke from under her bangs. “Someone has bought the old Konoha police station,” she said.

Sasuke’s stomach lurched. The police station had been abandoned shortly after his parents died. Konoha had treated the site as if it were cursed. No one had even come near it in years, to Sasuke’s knowledge.

His voice sounded far away. “Who?”

Karin closed her eyes and grimaced. “I’m not sure. The name on the deed says it was sold to a ‘Dawn Kabuto.’”

Sasuke felt as if he were drowning. “Dawn…” he muttered.

“Yeah… like…”

“Like Akatsuki.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this chapter was so long. There was a lot that needed to happen, and I had been trying to keep the pattern of 2 chapters Naruto/2 chapters Sasuke POVs. That pattern will likely end with this chapter. It will switch to 1 chapter Naruto/1 chapter Sasuke POVs from here on out, probably. 
> 
> Apologies to anyone for whom it's a sticking point--Sasuke and Naruto are, at this time, versatile. They're still exploring their sexuality, for one, and for another, well, they just are in this fic. I've worked hard to keep these characters from becoming stereotypes, and while I respect that we all have different head canons, this one is mine for this pairing. 
> 
> On that note, I think one of the things that is liberating about sex, especially within the framework of a loving, trusting relationship, is the flexibility it allows people for exploring different aspects of their personalities. A person can be confined in their day-to-day life to certain behaviors, but can be free with their partner to explore opposing aspects of their personalities. That in mind, I've tried to give my characters the freedom to do that. I don't see either one of them confined to "pitching" or "catching" because of this, that, or the other personality trait outside of the sex. 
> 
> Apologies also for anyone who found Izumi's story upsetting or off-putting or triggering. It is important to the plot, or I wouldn't have even gone into the detail that I did. 
> 
> Pertinent to that, there will be some very uncomfortable/unpalatable/disturbing themes touched upon in this fic in the future. I will try to warn readers accordingly. 
> 
> A special thank you to TheRedRobin for encouragement with this story! 
> 
> And thank you to all of you for reading this far. I can't tell you how much it means. Your comments, kudos, bookmarks, etc. have been so lovely and welcome. I appreciate you all. <3 <3 <3


	25. Rich Wine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto catches up with Iruka, and Sakura introduces her new girlfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Boy/Boy stuff.

The apathetic face before him rattled Naruto, and for reasons he couldn’t articulate, caused coils of tension to knot up in his stomach.

 

“So, this is the copier, everyone has a password and an allowance, and if they go over their allowance, they can request more copies. This is how...”  


“I know how to operate a copier, thanks,” the flat voice interrupted. Naruto tried not to scowl.

 

“You’ll report directly to Mr. Nara, but you are also welcome to come to me for any concerns,” he told the new secretary. She nodded, her expression unchanging. He had striven to make the school a warm, welcoming environment. The new secretary—Guren—was neither warm nor welcoming.

 

She was immaculately made-up, objectively attractive. She was knowledgeable, had plenty of prior experience, passed the background check, and her psychological profile suggested she would work well with him and Shikamaru. She had a distance and reserve, though, that made Naruto uneasy. She would have fascinated him in any other circumstances, but she consistently rebuffed any efforts at connection, and this made him profoundly uncomfortable.

 

Still. She had filled a position that was difficult to fill with the salary provided, and she was clearly qualified, so Naruto made every effort to dismiss the nagging unease he felt around her. He was relieved when the clock finally hit noon; he could end this encounter and not deal with Guren or the unease she produced in him until the school year began.

 

“Well, that’s it for today,” Naruto said. “Here’s the staff handbook, and here’s a separate one that our last secretary wrote up for your position.”

 

Guren took the binders he presented to her and stowed them in her attache case without a word. Naruto noticed a small, framed picture of a young boy on her desk.

 

“Cute kid!” he exclaimed, picking it up. “This your son?”

 

Guren snatched the photo out of his hand and set it back down. “Yes.”

 

Naruto’s hackles rose. He realized she intended to end the conversation, but he didn’t feel like giving her the satisfaction. “What’s his name?”

 

“Yuukimaru.”

 

“Nice name! How old is he?”

 

“He’s eight.”

 

“I see, so he’d be in about the third grade,” Naruto said. “You know, he could come to school here. We have some openings, and we have tuition waivers for children of staff.”

 

“He’s medically fragile, he has a certified teacher who comes to teach him,” Guren said; her voice never rose or fell.

 

Naruto felt a bit guilty. “I’m sorry to hear that. Hey, you know, if you ever need to take time off when he’s sick, just let us know. We’ll cover you, Guren.”

 

“Good to know,” Guren said. “We’re done, correct? I have somewhere to be.”

 

“Uh, yeah, sure, sorry,” Naruto said. Guren had already shouldered her case and opened the door before he had even completed his sentence.

 

_That’s one cold bitch._

 

Naruto felt a pang of guilt at the thought. He tried to remind himself that not all people were as open and extroverted as he; Guren had a right to be standoffish. But still… the thought of her being the first face a child encountered when they were late or sick made him uncomfortable.

 

_Just do your job and let her do hers. Ignore it._

 

He turned down the climate control and shut off the lights before arming the security system. He walked out to the parking lot after locking the door, his awareness heightened the whole time. His nerves tingled as he recalled the last time he’d been in the parking lot alone.

 

_I doubt that son of a bitch will show his face after the ass-whipping he got._

 

Naruto’s face drew up in distaste as memories of Kiba surfaced. He was relieved to finally shut his car door and drive off. His phone rang just as he drove onto the main road.

 

He answered, flipping it to speaker mode.

 

“Hey, kiddo!” came a familiar voice.

 

“Iruka!” Naruto exclaimed. “How are you?”

 

“I’m just fine, Naruto. I spent most of the summer away, if you remember. But I’m back in town, and if it’s not too late to snag you for lunch today, I’d love to catch up,” Naruto’s old mentor said.

 

“Hell, no, it’s not too late! It’s been too long, Iruka! Where’d you like to eat?” Naruto said enthusiastically.

 

“How about that Indian restaurant where you used to work? Would that be okay with you?”

 

“Banana Leaf? Yeah, that’d be great! I can be there in about fifteen minutes,” Naruto answered.

 

“Okay, kid. I’ll see you then.” Iruka hung up the phone, and Naruto excitedly steered towards the Banana Leaf.

 

Iruka was waiting by the door when he arrived. When he saw Naruto, his eyes lit up, and Naruto felt a rush of affection.

 

“Naruto… you look _great_!” Iruka said, looking him over. “You look about ten years younger than you did the last time I saw you.”

 

Naruto grinned stupidly. “Heh. Well. Thanks, Iruka. I’m feeling pretty happy these days.”

 

Iruka beamed. “It shows.” He hugged Naruto close. “It’s good to see you happy again, Naruto.”

 

Tears stung Naruto’s eyes. Iruka was the first person to whom Naruto had ever mattered. After all these years, knowing that Iruka was so happy to see him made him feel special and grateful.

 

“It’s good to be happy again,” he said, somewhat roughly. Arms around each others’ shoulders, they walked into the restaurant.

 

Amma greeted them happily. “Naruto! Glad to see you again! You, too, Mr. Iruka!” She shook their hands vigorously and led them to a table by a window. “It’s lunch buffet right now, boys. Go ahead and help yourselves! Someone will be here to take your drink orders soon.”

 

Iruka looked after her fondly. “She is such a sweet woman. I guess I have you to thank for my Indian food addiction, Naruto.”

 

Naruto laughed as he made his way towards the buffet. “How’s that, Iruka?”

 

“I used to come here to eat when you were in college just because I knew it’d be my best chance to check in on you,” Iruka said.

 

Naruto laughed. “I never knew that! I thought you just liked Indian food a whole lot!”

 

Iruka laughed along. “I hadn’t really ever had it before you worked here.”

 

Naruto grinned as he heaped his plate with vegetable poriyal and uttapam. “That’s so sweet of you, Iruka.”

 

“I was really proud of you. I don’t think I’ve ever seen somebody work as hard as you did to get your degrees.” Iruka piled his plate high with rice and curry.

 

“Yeah, well, I wouldn’t have ever even considered getting those degrees if it hadn’t been for you, Iruka-Sensei.” Emotion welled up inside of him. He owed so much to this man. He would never be able to vocalize all that he meant to him.

 

“Stop with the ‘sensei’ stuff,” Iruka chided good-naturedly. “I’m just glad I got the chance to work with you, Naruto. You’re truly one of a kind.”

 

At a loss for words, Naruto smiled happily. They made their way back to their table just as the waiter was leaving hot naan for them.

 

“Can I take your drink orders, gentleman?” the waiter asked.

 

“I’d like a masala chai,” Naruto said.

 

“Same for me, but could I also have some water?” Iruka asked.

 

“Of course.” The waiter wrote down their preferences and walked away.

 

Naruto tore into a piece of naan and used it to pick up some vegetables. “How was your summer, Iruka?” he asked before he shoved the morsel into his mouth.

 

Iruka’s eyes brightened. “Naruto, it was so amazing! I got to meet my father’s cousin. I learned so much about our family. I never thought I’d get this kind of opportunity!”

 

Naruto knew how much it had meant to Iruka to find some of his parents’ family members. Like Naruto, Iruka had been orphaned at an early age. When he had tracked down his father’s cousins in Japan, he had immediately contacted them, and they had just as immediately welcomed him in.

 

The waiter set water and two cups of steaming tea in front of them. The aroma drifted over Naruto, making him feel calm and content.

 

“That’s wonderful, Iruka. I hope something like that will happen for me one day,” Naruto said. He no longer felt angry about missing out on knowing his parents, but he still longed to know more about them.

 

“I hope so, too, Naruto,” Iruka said sympathetically. “It’s easier than ever, nowadays. You can even link up to family through those DNA ancestry tests.”

 

“I didn’t know that,” Naruto said, taking a drink of his tea. “Kinda makes me nervous, though, somebody just having my DNA on file like that.”

 

Iruka laughed. “I used to feel the same way. Then, I thought, what am I afraid of, that they’ll clone me?”

 

Naruto chuckled. “These ancestry claims could be a front so the government can get its hands on massive amounts of DNA to build an all-star clone army.”

 

“Yeah, I think an army full of middle-aged teachers with the beginnings of arthritis would be terrifying to any enemy,” Iruka joked. “Can you just imagine? ‘Surrender before we make you spell ‘hypotenuse.’”

 

They both laughed. It was easy to be around Iruka; he understood Naruto’s oddball humor, even shared it.

 

Iruka sobered up and leaned across the table. “I know your divorce was finalized just before I left, Naruto. You look great, but are you okay? I mean, really okay?”

 

Naruto smiled, touched by Iruka’s concern. “Yeah, Iruka. I am. I’m doing so well that I almost feel guilty.”

 

Iruka frowned. “You should never feel guilty about being happy, Naruto. You know I thought highly of Hinata, and still do, but you started to seem less and less like your old self as your marriage went on.”

 

Naruto sighed and tore at a piece of naan. “Yeah, well… I wasn’t. I guess I never told you the real reason we divorced, did I?”

 

Iruka’s frown deepened. “You said it was irreconcilable differences. But that doesn’t matter, Naruto. You don’t have to tell me what happened. I’m not going to judge you or Hinata.”

 

Naruto stared down at his plate, wondering how to lay out the facts for Iruka.

 

“I’m seeing someone, now,” he said. When Iruka looked startled, Naruto quickly clarified. “I didn’t cheat on Hinata. I didn’t see anyone until after the divorce was finalized. I didn’t even think about it.”

 

“So,” Iruka urged him on, “tell me about this person. What are they like?”

 

Naruto looked at him. “Well… his name is Sasuke.”

 

Iruka smiled. “I like Sasuke already, if he has anything to do with how sunny and happy you look today.”

 

Naruto looked at Iruka in shock. “You’re not surprised?”

 

Iruka laughed and leaned back in his chair. “Oh, Naruto, no, I’m not surprised. I tried to drop hints to you when you were young, to let you know that it was safe to come out to me. Then, when you decided to marry Hinata, I just thought that maybe I’d read you wrong.”

 

Naruto shook his head. “Everybody knew before me!”

 

Iruka chortled. “Maybe I should have been clearer with you, Naruto,” he said. “Or perhaps, I should have voiced the concerns I had about your engagement. But you looked so thrilled, and I wanted so badly for you to have the family you wanted.”

 

“It’s not your fault, Iruka. I wasn’t really in touch with myself,” Naruto admitted. “I guess because I never really experienced the kind of attraction people talk about when they fall in love. I thought I’d learn to love Hinata like that, but the longer we were married, the more I could see that it wasn’t going to happen.”

 

Iruka nodded sympathetically. “It’s all right. You know, these things happen. It sucks when it does, but that’s life. We live and learn and do our best to make our amends. Besides, I was around during your marriage, Naruto. You really worked hard to be a good husband and father, and it showed.”

 

“Huh. Maybe,” Naruto said doubtfully. “Boruto’s still pissed at me nine-tenths of the time, but I think he’s starting to come around.”

 

Iruka sighed and grew serious. “Naruto, Boruto just doesn’t understand, yet. He will. Have you ever told him what your life was like when you were his age?”

 

Naruto snorted sarcastically. “You mean, ‘playing the orphan card?’ That’s what he calls it whenever I say anything about it.”

 

“Maybe you should play the orphan card more often,” Iruka said. “He rebels because he wants a closer relationship with you. You hold _all_ the cards, in a way, because you know all about him when he really doesn’t have a clue what makes you who you are. Maybe spend a day with him. Talk about it when you guys aren’t fighting.”

 

Naruto inhaled slowly. He had never considered that before. “You have a point, Iruka.”

 

Iruka grinned, dispelling the gloomy mood. “I know I do. So. Tell me about this Sasuke.”

 

Naruto flushed and grinned widely at the thought of Sasuke. “He’s amazing. I met him the night the divorce was finalized. He’s a bookseller and is really smart. He’s teaching Boruto iaido. He’s the best cook I’ve ever met in my life. And he’s beautiful.”

 

Naruto took his phone out of his pocket and shuffled through his pictures. “This is him. He’s holding an eagle. An _eagle,_ Iruka! On his bare arm.” He showed the photo to Iruka.

 

“Whoa. He could be a model,” Iruka said. “But you, Naruto… this is an excellent photo. Did you really just take it with your phone?”

 

“Yeah, he didn’t know I took it,” Naruto said bashfully. “But it was such a great moment that I had to snap it.”

 

“You need to get a camera,” Iruka said. "You could seriously be a photographer. You have a good eye.”

 

“Look at you,” Naruto laughed. “Always the teacher, hunting for my hidden potential.”

 

Iruka rolled his eyes, but he smiled anyway. “I wasn’t exaggerating, Naruto.” He paused, becoming serious. “You’re in love with this man, aren’t you?”

 

Naruto felt his face go red again, but he held Iruka’s gaze. “Yeah. I am. I really love him, Iruka.”

 

Iruka’s eyes glistened. “I’m so glad. One of my dreams has always been to see you this way.”

 

Naruto’s eyes teared up, too. He was grateful that he had Iruka to share in his happiness; he was also grateful that he had met Sasuke and learned how it felt to be in love.

 

* * *

  


After a long and enjoyable lunch, Naruto parted from Iruka regretfully. They resolved to pick up their weekly dinners, with Naruto promising to introduce him properly to Sasuke.

As he was leaving the parking lot, Naruto caught sight of a mattress store and turned his car back around. Now that Sasuke sometimes slept over, Naruto felt it miserly to make him sleep on the old futon on the floor.

He was overwhelmed as soon as he stepped inside. There were too many beds to choose from; how was he supposed to decide between one white, $1000 mattress and a dozen others just like it?

“Welcome to Mattress Mart!” a cheerful voice said. A petite brunette walked towards him and extended her hand.

“Uh, thanks,” Naruto said, shaking the girl’s hand.

“Is there anything in particular you’re looking for today?” she asked.

“Uh, yeah, I need a bed,” Naruto answered.

The girl giggled. “You came to the right store, then. Do you know what you’re looking for in a mattress?”

Naruto shook his head.

“Well, tell me about your current bed,” she prompted. “Is it firm? Soft? In-between?”

“Uhm. It’s a Japanese futon on the floor. So, I guess that it’s firm,” Naruto responded.

“Ah, okay, then you want something firm like that? Or do you want something softer?”

“I’m not really sure,” Naruto said, truthfully. “I hadn’t planned on buying a mattress, but then I thought it would probably be a good idea.”

The girl smiled at him. “It’s a _great_ idea,” she agreed. “I know we have something here that you’ll just _love_. Do you know what size you want?”

Naruto thought. He and Hinata had shared a queen sized bed. His shikibuton was a full size. He and Sasuke didn’t seem to take up too much space on the bed together; they usually slept right against each other. On the other hand, a larger bed would mean more space for other things…

Naruto blushed at the thought of all they could do with a large bed. “I guess a king size. Is that the largest?” he asked. “It needs to be big enough for two people.”

The girl smiled knowingly at him. “A king size bed is plenty big enough for two people,” she said. “I have an idea. Try this bed out. It’s memory foam, so it’s not as firm as your futon, but it’s not really soft, either.”

“But, isn’t that the stuff you sink down into?” Naruto asked, puzzled.

“Some of it is. Some of it is specially formulated to be a little firmer. Try this one!” She led him to a bed at the far end of the sales floor. He slipped his shoes off and got on the bed, aware of her eyes roving over his body as he lay down.

The bed _did_ feel amazing. So far, the only bed he’d really been comfortable in since the divorce had been Sasuke’s—but Naruto did not think that owed itself to the mattress.

“It feels really good!” he said.

“ _D_ _oesn’t_ it?” the salesperson said. “This bed was the highest rated in a consumer test for sleep—and _other_ things you might want to do in a bed.” She smiled a little wickedly. Naruto found himself blushing again. Being eyed like a piece of meat while lying down in the middle of a sales floor made him feel like a fly that had just wandered into a spiderweb.

“Uhm. What about heat?” Naruto asked. “Somebody told me that memory foam is hot to sleep on.”

The girl’s smile widened. “Remember what I told you? Highly rated for sleep—and other _activities_. Activities that might make a person very _hot_ and _sweaty_.”

Naruto swallowed heavily. “Uhm. Okay. Uh, I guess this one works,” he said.

She put her hand on his arm as he began to sit up. “Just lie down a little more. See how it feels as you rest,” she urged. She trailed her fingers over his arm in such a way that it might have seemed innocent, had she not just slyly mentioned what Naruto might be doing in his bed.

She whipped a remote control seemingly from thin air. “Let’s get you more comfortable, shall we? Or as comfortable as you can be in a suit and a tie.” She pressed a button that raised the head of the bed up. “And let’s get some pressure off of those feet.” Another button had the foot of the bed elevating.

Naruto felt absurd, squashed into the mattress with the sales girl ogling him. Still, he supposed it was her job, and he did not like being impolite. “This is really nice,” he said.

“It’s _marvelous._ And you could have this same option on your bed for just a few dollars more.”

Naruto did not want to consider what she might mean by “a few dollars.” He doubted that “few” in sales jargon meant the same thing as it did to a man drawing a private school principal’s salary.

“I never caught your name,” the girl said, looking him over once more.

“I’m Naruto.”

“Ooh, _Naruto_. I _like_ that name. I’m Natalie.” She touched his arm again. “Tell me, Naruto, what kind of work do you do? I’m betting you’re a professional athlete with muscles like _this_.” She squeezed his bicep gently.

Naruto cleared his throat. “I’m the principal at Konoha International. Do you have any children, Natalie? We’re still taking enrollment,” he said in a rush.

“No children,” Natalie said coyly. “I’m still single.”

_Hurry up and buy the bed and get out of here._

“Heh, well, when you do have kids, keep Konoha International in mind!” Naruto said nervously.

Natalie smiled at him as if he had said something amusing. “I will,” she said. “ _Now_ , Naruto, imagine your very _worst_ day at school.”

“Huh?” Naruto asked, perplexed.

“Just imagine it,” Natalie ordered. “Bad day. _Horrible_ day. Teachers complaining. Kids getting in trouble. _Parents_ challenging you.”

“Huh, okay,” Naruto said, still unsure of what she was doing.

“Now. Imagine that it’s five o’clock and you _finally_ get to go home,” she went on.

 _Now,_ that’s _something to imagine—a work day actually ending at five._

“Are you _imagining_ , Naruto?” she asked in a low, quiet voice.

“Sure,” Naruto said.

Natalie pressed a button on her damnable remote, and bed started vibrating.

“Oh,” Naruto said. The bed’s vibration made his voice wobble.

“You get to _come home_ to a bed that _massages_ all your stress away!” she said. “I’m going to leave you to relax while I go get a few other things I want to show you. Here’s the remote. Just… play around and make yourself at home.

 _She_ definitely _winked, that time._

Naruto fumbled with the buttons, trying to get the annoying vibrations to stop. Instead of turning it off, though, he only succeeded in making the vibrations louder and faster. He tried another button, and his legs ended up elevated awkwardly. He felt the blood rush to his face, not only from embarrassment but from the angle of his legs, as well.

Natalie laughed when she emerged from the opposite side of the store. “Let me get you comfortable, Naruto,” she said. She wrested the remote from his hand and leveled out his feet, keeping his head elevated.

“Could you maybe turn off the vibrator?” Naruto asked. Natalie grinned at his choice of words. “I mean, the vibration. Could we turn of the vibration?”

Natalie pressed a button, and the bed stopped shaking. “Our _massage_ feature really is one of our best sellers,” she said.

“Oh, cool, there’s a massage feature?” Naruto asked.

“That was it.”

Naruto was disappointed. He’d hoped the bed would have some sort of magical protrusions that appeared on command like the massaging chair that he’d bought for Hinata a few years back. He didn’t consider a bed jerking around noisily a massage. “Oh.”

“So, Naruto, since you _know_ this is the bed you want, I brought you some additional items that could make your sleep a lot _better_.” Natalie picked out a swath of sheeting material and ran it over Naruto’s forearm.

“Doesn’t that feel _delicious_?” she asked.

_Delicious? Who the fuck eats sheets? Was she trained by goats?_

“It’s really nice,” Naruto said agreeably.

Natalie frowned. “We don’t do _nice_ , Naruto. We do _extraordinary._ So this sheet is out.” She tossed the swatch over her shoulder dismissively.

“Close your eyes,” she said imperiously. Naruto hated the idea of making himself even more vulnerable to the woman, but he obeyed.

Something cool and silky slid over the skin of his arm.

“Was that _nice_ , Naruto? Or are was it _extraordinary_?” Natalie asked.

_Tell her what she wants to hear so we can get the hell out of here._

“It’s extraordinary!” Naruto croaked. “Very extraordinary!”

“That’s what I thought,” Natalie said. “These are our natural-fiber sheets. They are cool against the skin. They have the feel of _silk_ at a _fraction_ of the price-point. I _knew_ you were a man of quality. Open your eyes and choose your favorite colors.”

Naruto opened his eyes as Natalie laid another book of swatches down in his lap. She reached over and flipped leisurely through the samples, showing him the color options. The movement of her hand caused the book to rub against his crotch uncomfortably.

“Uhm. I don’t know,” he said. “I don’t really care about colors.” He realized, though, that Sasuke might. Most of the samples, he noticed, were pastel shades. He could not imagine Sasuke liking those. He flipped through until he found a deep burgundy. It reminded him of the shirt Sasuke had worn on their first date.

“I like this one,” he said definitively. He imagined Sasuke sprawled nakedly over the dark sheets, his pale skin glistening with sweat and his black hair splaying against the pillow. “Yeah, I definitely like this one.”

“Excellent choice,” Natalie purred. “ _Rich Wine_ is one of the shades most sought-after by designers and decorators. I _like_ the way you think, Naruto.”

Natalie removed the swatch book from Naruto’s lap. He gulped and flushed deeply; thoughts of Sasuke had given him the beginnings of a hard-on. There was no time to maneuver so that Natalie would miss it. Her beady eyes homed right in on Naruto’s bulge with a shark-like smile.

_Leave. Leave now. That woman could probably eat her own young. That’s probably why she doesn’t have any kids._

“Uh, Natalie, thanks so much for all your time, but I really have to be going. Uhm, could you ring up the bed and the sheets so I can get going?” Naruto stammered.

Natalie pouted playfully. “I’m sad to hear that, Naruto. I thought I was just beginning to get to _know_ you. But you’re the boss.”

She managed to keep him there for another hour, until he left with a set of hideously expensive tencel sheets in “rich wine”, an even more hideously expensive set of “performance-wear sheets” (“They wick away moisture and heat for those nights when you really get a _good…_ workout _._ ”) in “indigo dream,” and a delivery window for a king-sized bed that ate up over a third of Naruto’s monthly salary. He had escaped without the “massage feature” and the movable parts, although Natalie had insisted on showing him that it would only cost him an extra $3 a month with interest-free, 36-month financing.

Still, Naruto was excited that he would be able to give Sasuke something comfortable to sleep on when he was over. He was happy with his choice of sheets, as well. Sasuke would look beautiful in his bed, surrounded by luxurious sheets… _Rich Wine,_ indeed.

  


* * *

The week flew by rapidly. Naruto had been torn as he and the rest of the school staff entered the preparations for the upcoming school year. He had been able to have lunches with Sasuke for most of the summer, and he had enjoyed having time that was strictly his own. There was something pleasant about having a structure to the week days again, though.

He was also happy to see Shikamaru and the teachers again; he had become genuinely invested in their lives and well-being, and most of them were likewise invested in his. Thankfully, none of them pried about the divorce.

He anticipated the upcoming conference nervously. He was not a terrible public speaker; he considered addressing large groups one of his strengths. The conference organizers had shown a lot of faith in him, though, by asking him to address his own peers. Normally, a known expert would be presenting in Naruto’s slot. The idea of failing their expectations filled him with anxiety.

More than that, he was nervous about taking Sasuke around such a large group of people for the first time. He hoped Sasuke would not be unhappy with the awards banquet they would be attending on the last night.

It had felt _good_ to come out to Iruka. He had begun to feel as if he were playing a role, allowing everyone to assume he was straight, and it smacked of dishonesty to him. He was eager for people to know how much Sasuke meant to him. Sasuke might not be ready for that step in their relationship just yet.

_He hasn’t even told you he loves you._

Naruto knew this, but he also felt he knew Sasuke. If Sasuke did not love him in return, Naruto was certain that he would have clearly stated so by now. He was a fundamentally honest person. Naruto could not imagine him playing with his emotions for any reason at all. Naruto was also confident that Sasuke would have shut him down immediately if he did not feel the same.

“ _Just because I didn’t say it doesn’t mean I don’t feel it.”_

Naruto had taken Sasuke’s words on good faith. He knew that Sasuke had suffered enormous losses throughout his life. He also knew that Sasuke did not deem himself worthy of affection. Naruto would just have to prove to him how worthy he actually was. He wanted everyone to see Sasuke as he saw him, to turn the eyes of his friends into hundreds of mirrors reflecting Sasuke’s magnificence back to him until he believed in it, himself.

Naruto had no skill at pushing his feelings or concerns away, but preparing for the new school year forced him to do so. It did not take long for his excitement about the upcoming year to take over, and soon, he was enthusiastically holding staff meetings and helping the teachers ready their classrooms.

On Wednesday, he found himself in his usual position of being the last person at the school after the half-day had ended. One of the teachers had decided to tack decorations to the classroom ceiling, but even with the ladder, she had been too short. So Naruto stood, tacking streamers and die-cut shapes into the acoustic tiles. He was just finishing when his phone buzzed. He tacked up the final streamer and jumped off the ladder.

Sakura had messaged: _Hey, Ino’s in town! Want to grab lunch with us?_

Naruto broke into a grin. He was happy that Sakura had found someone that she cared for.

 _Hell, yeah,_ he texted back. _When and where?_

_I promised Ino I’d take her to Uzushio. Is that OK with you?_

_You bet! See you in 15?_

_Sure. We’ll get a table._

Naruto hurriedly stowed the ladder and secured the school. He was eager to meet Sakura’s new girlfriend.

The lunch crush was ending, so Uzushio was less crowded than usual. He found Sakura in a booth near the back of the restaurant, sitting beside an extremely pretty woman with long, blonde hair. They were engrossed in conversation when Naruto walked in, their hands entwined. Naruto was immediately happy for Sakura; she and Ino looked as if they’d spent a lifetime together already.

Sakura looked up as Naruto approached. She jumped to her feet and embraced him. “Naruto! Thanks for making it on short notice.”

“It’s my pleasure, Sakura!” he replied sincerely.

She released him from her very tight hug. “This is Ino. She got a chance to fly in today. Ino, this is Naruto. He’s Sarada’s principal…”

“Yeah, yeah, and your gorgeous ex-husband’s gorgeous boyfriend,” Ino interrupted. She smiled at Naruto. “I’m happy to meet you, Naruto. Sakura thinks the world of you.”

Naruto grinned. He liked Ino, already; there was a forceful aura around her that was tempered by something warm and kind.

“I’m happy to meet you, Ino!” he said. “I think the world of Sakura, too.”

He took his seat across from the two women. “So where do you live, Ino?”

“Right now, I live in Vancouver,” she said. She looked at Sakura and smiled. Sakura blushed and grinned. “But I’m thinking of moving to Konoha.”

“Wow! That’s great! What do you do in Vancouver?” Naruto asked. He was surprised that Ino was already considering moving closer to Sakura.

“I’m currently working in pharmaceutical sales,” she answered. “I’m ready for a change, though.”

“She’s an artist!” Sakura interjected.

Ino rolled her eyes. “I’m not an artist, Forehead.” Sakura elbowed her sharply at this; Ino just smiled affectionately. “I’m a florist, Naruto. I want to do floral design full-time. I don’t really like pharmaceutical sales, and to be honest, my expiration date is coming up.”

Sakura glowered. “That’s code for ‘too old.’ A lot of drug companies will only hire very young women with a certain look as representatives.”

Ino did not look especially nonplussed about this. “It is what it is. It made me some good money, it got me some fabulous vacations...” She put her arm around Sakura and kissed her cheek, causing Sakura to beam. “… and now it’s time to do something else. It was a good job for its time. Now it’s time for something new.”

“I still don’t like it. It’s just sexist,” Sakura said. “You’ve done really well at your job.”

“Like I said, I went into it knowing that it was a long-term temporary position. I got what I wanted out of it,” Ino said with a shrug.

“Floral design? That sounds really cool!” Naruto said. “You wanna do that in Konoha?”

Ino nodded. “My mother taught me the principles of ikebana. I’ve continued to study on my own when I can. I’ve also started doing more with bonsai. I think Konoha would be the perfect place to have a shop.”

Sakura glowed as Ino spoke. “It would be,” she agreed.

“For sure!” Naruto added. “I don’t know a lot about flowers, but with Konoha’s cultural history, I think you’d do great business here!”

“I’ve been designing ikebana for Konoha residents for a couple of years,” Ino said. “Just on the side, mind you. I even designed some for Sakura’s ex’s shop. I had to take a lot of care shipping them.”

“You’re the one!” Naruto said excitedly. “Your flowers were the first thing that made me notice Sasuke’s store!”

Ino looked proud. “That’s good to know. I’m always afraid someone’s going to stow those beautiful flowers in some dark corner when I send them out. Oh, here comes our server.”

They ordered a wide array of sushi to share between them, as well as shrimp tempura. Naruto ordered a beer, while Ino and Sakura each chose a cocktail.

As lunch went on, Naruto could tell that Ino cared as much for Sakura as Sakura did for her. He smiled at the way they jabbed at each other verbally and exchanged elbows and insults; it reminded him of how he and Sasuke were together.

“So you guys met in Belize?” Naruto asked as he helped himself to a piece of sushi.

“We actually met a couple of years ago,” Sakura said. “Ino came to my office to show me her company’s new epilepsy treatments.”

“I was flirting with her for all it was worth,” Ino said with a laugh. “Little Miss Innocent just didn’t catch on.”

“Hey, I thought you were just being really nice!” Sakura protested as she giggled. “If I’d known...”

“If you’d known, what?” Ino asked flirtatiously. Sakura’s face went pink. Naruto guffawed.

“Anyway,” Ino continued, “Konoha was taken out of my territory. When I saw Sakura again in Belize, there was no way I was letting her get the wrong idea again.” Naruto noticed that she looked very smug about how things had gone. Sakura looked as if she would die of either happiness or embarrassment.

“Sakura’s a great person,” Naruto said. “I’m glad you guys met up again!”

“Me, too,” Sakura agreed readily. Ino leaned down and kissed her gently on the lips, smiling as she did so.

“So, anyway… fate threw me a bone, and I’m going to chase it,” Ino said confidently. Sakura scowled at the comparison, but Ino just smirked and went on. “I’ve waited a long time to meet a woman like Sakura, and I’m not going to waste any more time than I have to. It may take a few months, but I’ll be here.”

Sakura poked at her sushi with a chopstick, frowning slightly. “I wish your company knew your real value.”

“Oh, hush. I already told you; they used me to make a lot of sales, I used them for the money, and now, I’ll leave on a good note. It’s all for the best.” Ino radiated confidence as she spoke. “And until then, we have cheap flights and weekend visits.”

“Have you met Sarada yet?” Naruto asked.

“She’ll meet her tonight,” Sakura responded. “She knows about Ino, and she’s been supportive so far, so I think it’ll go well.”

“Of course, it’ll go well. I’m charming and Sarada is smart,” Ino said, flipping her hair dramatically. They all laughed.

When they parted, Naruto was full of contentment. It was satisfying to see Sakura so happy with someone, especially with someone who valued her as much as Ino seemed to.

A few sentimental tears sprung into his eyes. He decided to text Sasuke.

_Hey, bastard, how about dinner tonight?_

To his surprise, Sasuke answered immediately.

_Where?_

_How about my place? I have a pasta recipe I want to try out for you,_ Naruto responded.

Once again, Sasuke responded immediately. _I’ll be there at 6._

Happiness bloomed anew for Naruto as he thought of seeing Sasuke again so soon.

  


  


* * *

  


Naruto sang as he cut up the chicken for his recipe. He was proud of himself for finding a recipe and trying it out; he’d read it over a few times before going to the store. The friendly woman who managed the produce section even diced the tomatoes for him when she saw what he was making.

He had been profoundly grateful to her. As eager as he was to show Sasuke his burgeoning culinary skills, he was horrible at cutting tomatoes, and even on the best day, fully dosed up on Adderall, he was not the best at following long sets of instructions. The produce manager’s kindness saved him time, energy—and most importantly—forethought.

It was not quite six o’clock when Sasuke let him in. “Okaeri, Sasuke!” he called, not looking up.

Sasuke embraced him from behind, kissing him softly on the neck. “What are we making tonight?” he asked.

“Um, it’s chicken and tomatoes and herbs with balsamic vinegar on top of pasta,” Naruto answered, leaning into Sasuke’s chest. “I’d hug you, but I have chicken hands. Sorry.”

He felt rather than heard Sasuke’s chuckle. “Chicken hands, hm? Sounds like quite a predicament.”

Naruto flushed. He wanted to throw himself into Sasuke’s arms right then. “You know what I mean,” he mumbled. “Salmonella and all that.”

Sasuke kissed his cheek. “Mhm. You need help?”

“I think I’ve got it for now. I’m almost finished chopping the chicken. Will you help when I start cooking, though?”

“Of course.” Sasuke rubbed his shoulders briefly and took a seat at the bar. “What were you singing when I came in?”

“Heh.” Naruto smiled, embarrassed. “It was another Smiths song.”

“How did you come across the Smiths? They were before our time,” Sasuke asked.

“Hmm. Gaara’s the one who got me interested in them,” Naruto answered. “And I liked them, because they write about sad things, but they don’t always sound sad, you know? Sometimes it’s just good to think about being sad.”

“So which Smiths song were you singing this time?”

Naruto nudged the faucet open with his elbow. “Cemetry Gates,” he said as he washed his hands.

“Keats and Yeats by your side, Wilde is on mine?” Sasuke prompted. “Sounds rather literate for you, usuratonkachi.”

“Hey! That’s not fair,” Naruto argued. “I’m literate!”

Sasuke smiled at him wickedly. “So, who’s on your side, Keats, Yeats, or Wilde?”

“How do you even know the Smiths?” Naruto asked, refusing to answer the question.

“You.”

Naruto looked up in surprise. “You mean… because of the bar that night?”

Sasuke’s smile became softer. He looked down. “Hn.”

“You got into the Smiths because of that one song? The one I tried to make you dance to?”

“The one you _tried_ to sing. Yes,” Sasuke said, not looking up.

“Heh. Wow. I didn’t know you started listening to them because of that,” Naruto said. It stunned him that Sasuke had recalled that detail.

“I don’t listen to them. I just know a few more of their songs, now,” Sasuke answered back.

“Like which ones?” Naruto challenged.

“‘There Is a Light That Never Goes Out.’”

“I love that song!” Naruto exclaimed. “If a double-decker bus, crashes into us, to die by your side is such a heavenly way to die!” he warbled.

Sasuke smiled again.

“Sing with me, Sasuke!” Naruto urged. “You have to sing, too!”

“No one was _singing_ to begin with,” Sasuke mocked.

“Huh. You’re no fun,” Naruto grumbled. He turned on the burner and poured olive oil into the pan. He rummaged in the refrigerator and brought out the fresh, chopped garlic and dumped it into the oil.

Sasuke came to stand behind him, resting a hand on his hip. “Garlic scorches quickly, so work fast,” he advised.

Naruto had not known that. He was torn between being peeved at Sasuke for advising him and wanting to fall into his arms. “Thanks,” he muttered.

Sasuke kissed his cheek. “I had to learn that one the hard way. Scorched garlic is very bitter.”

Naruto softened. “I appreciate it, Sasuke. Would you hand me the chopped herbs?”

Sasuke handed over the herbs, and soon, the aroma of rosemary, sage, and oregano pervaded the space.

“Ah, that smells so good! Doesn’t it smell so good, Sasuke?” Pride surged within Naruto that he’d been able to make his kitchen smell this good mostly on his own.

“It smells wonderful,” Sasuke agreed. “You want the chicken, now?”

“Yeah.”

Naruto took the tray of chicken from Sasuke and scraped it into the pan. “You’re doing a good job, dobe,” Sasuke said.

“Hey, thanks!” Naruto beamed. “Uh, Sasuke, I realize that this is kind of a stupid question, but what does ‘deglaze’ mean?”

“Not a stupid question,” Sasuke replied. “It just means to use whatever liquid the recipe says to scrape up what sticks to the pan after you’ve cooked the meat. That’s why I warned you about the garlic.”

“Oh. ‘Deglaze’ doesn’t sound like the right word,” Naruto grumbled.

Somehow, even though he was standing behind him, Naruto could feel Sasuke’s smile. “I don’t know the history of the term,” Sasuke said, “but I’ve learned what it means. You want to turn those chicken pieces over, now.”

Naruto hummed as he turned the chicken, aware of Sasuke’s patient, watchful eye. Regardless of how Sasuke felt about teaching, Naruto knew from their experiences in the kitchen that he was a patient and thorough instructor.

“Okay, it’s time to deglaze now, I think?” Naruto said after a moment.

“Um hm,” Sasuke answered. “What are you using?”

“Balsamic vinegar.”

Sasuke handed him the bottle. “I’m surprised, Naruto. Have you ever used balsamic before?”

Naruto shook his head. “I haven’t. But I picked this recipe because it had a lot of tomatoes, but seemed kinda simple, and I thought I’d try some ingredients I never used before.”

“That’s a good thing,” Sasuke said. “Being willing to try new things will make you a capable cook.”

Naruto beamed. “I hope it comes out all right,” he said worriedly.

“It will. Don’t worry about it,” Sasuke encouraged. “It smells good.”

Naruto reached for the tomatoes, brushing against Sasuke as he did. Warmth spread from the minute contact. He dumped the tomatoes into the pan and stirred them before covering the pan.

“I guess I should make the pasta, now,” he mused.

“How long are you supposed to cook the tomatoes?” Sasuke asked.

“Um, I think about fifteen minutes,” Naruto said, checking his phone for the recipe’s instructions. “Yeah, it’s fifteen.”

“Then you’ll wait to start your pasta about halfway through that,” Sasuke stated.

Naruto turned around. “Does this mean I have time to kiss you properly?” he asked, leaning into Sasuke.

Sasuke’s crooked half-smile flickered over his lips. “Seven and a half minutes ought to be enough for whatever you consider a ‘proper’ kiss.”

Naruto pulled him close and brushed his lips over Sasuke’s gently. Sasuke’s arms came around him, holding him tightly.

Sasuke swept his tongue over Naruto’s lips, and Naruto opened his mouth hungrily. Sasuke’s kiss was insistent and needy, drawing Naruto in and making him whimper with desire.

He slid his fingers down the back of Sasuke’s neck and over his spine. With a growl, Sasuke pushed him until his back was against the counter. Naruto lifted one leg and Sasuke hefted him up; Naruto wrapped his legs around Sasuke’s waist and ground into him greedily.

It was a new space for Naruto to occupy. While Sasuke had definitely initiated his fair share of their encounters, he had never been as aggressive with Naruto as he was being now. His skin pebbled and warmth pooled in his gut.

Sasuke had just begun unbuttoning Naruto’s shirt when the timer went off.

“Shit,” Naruto breathed.

Sasuke looked at him, and for a moment, his eyes seemed so sad that Naruto wanted to cry out. The shadow passed almost as soon as Naruto perceived it, though, and once again, his expression was as unreadable as ever.

Naruto lifted the lid off the pan and stirred the tomatoes, adding another sprinkle of herbs. As he went to prepare the rest of the dinner, his mind worried over the unusual look he’d seen in Sasuke’s eyes. He knew he had not imagined it; he wondered if it had anything to do with learning more about his brother.

He waited impatiently for the water to boil, only half aware of Sasuke’s fingers at the hem of his shirt.

“Where’s your mind, usuratonkachi?” Sasuke murmured in his ear before nibbling the lobe.

Naruto turned around, frowning. “Are you okay, Sasuke?” he asked.

Sasuke tilted his head and eyed him oddly. “Why?” His voice was rough and tense in Naruto’s ear.

“You seemed sad for a minute,” Naruto said slowly.

“Hn.”

“Sasuke, I’m here. If you need to talk to me, I’ll listen, I promise,” Naruto said. It was as close as he could get to confronting Sasuke openly. He sensed that Sasuke would peel out of the apartment like it was on fire if he pressed any more directly than that.

Sasuke frowned, but he kissed Naruto firmly, and Naruto took it as Sasuke’s definitive end to the conversation.

“Is the water ready for the pasta, yet?” Sasuke asked.

“Yeah,” Naruto said. He absentmindedly reached for the box of pasta, tore it open and dropped it into the water. He was just about to give it a stir when Sasuke grabbed his wrist.

“Don’t stir too much. Just once, to settle the noodles evenly. Any more than that, and the noodles will be goo.”

“Thanks,” Naruto said, his mind still wondering what was on Sasuke’s mind.

Sasuke watched him silently for a while. “Are _you_ all right, dobe?” he asked hesitantly.

“Yeah,” Naruto said. “I’m just fine.” He understood that Sasuke wanted to deflect his questions about what he was feeling. He would try to respect that, even though his instincts drove him to press for answers.

“I met Sakura’s girlfriend today,” he said.

“Really?” Sasuke looked around the kitchen disinterestedly.

“Yeah. She seems really cool. Kinda pushy, but cool,” Naruto mused.

Sasuke laughed. “Pushy? Wonder how that’s going to work out.”

Naruto grinned. He knew Sakura could be just as obstinate as Ino. “They seem to work out pretty well. Ino’s already planning on moving to Konoha.”

Sasuke raised a brow. “This soon?”

“I guess when you know, you know,” Naruto said. The inner critic, mute up to this point, reared its spiteful head.

_That doesn’t seem to be Sasuke’s philosophy._

“She’s talking about opening a floral shop here,” Naruto continued.

“She could. She’d have enough of a market,” Sasuke said. “Sakura has honed her forcefulness into a finely tuned instrument. It’ll be interesting to see the immovable object meet the irresistible force.”

“Yeah,” Naruto agreed. He wondered what Sasuke thought about their relationship. Despite his confidence in Sasuke’s intentions, he had the nagging thought that the self-loathing that simmered within Sasuke’s subconscious might just rip them apart.

The timer went off. Naruto hastily grabbed the pot of pasta and drained it.

“Let me,” Sasuke said, taking the pan. “Why don’t you finish up the tomatoes and set out what we need?”

Naruto nodded in assent. He tasted the tomato sauce and added a pinch more salt. He gathered tongs, forks, and plates and set them out onto the bar. Sasuke took the tongs from him and heaped a steaming, perfectly shaped nest of pasta on each plate. Naruto spooned the chicken and sauce over the pasta, amazed that, in such a brief amount of time together, he and Sasuke were able to move like a well-oiled machine, almost reading each other’s thoughts.

_Almost. As long as those thoughts pertain to the cooking and serving of pasta._

Naruto winced at the thought. He had never experienced anything like this with Hinata. He had always felt that he hindered her when he tried to help. She had never wanted to talk about her feelings, either, until the end; by that time, Naruto was busy trying to outrun his own. The thought that this camaraderie with Sasuke might be more shallow than Naruto wanted it to be was a punch to the gut.

He straightened his back and smiled, willing away the useless ruminations. Things might or might not be challenging down the line, but he was not going to give up. He was convinced that he and Sasuke had a solid and vital connection; whatever deep-seated monsters might be arrayed against them, that connection was worth fighting for.

He took a bottle of pinot grigio from the refrigerator. He set down two glass tumblers, scolding himself for not having proper wine glasses. Sasuke did not seem to notice or care.

He took a seat beside Sasuke at the bar, watching Sasuke intently as he deftly wound the pasta around his fork. He was now more concerned about how his first pasta dish had turned out than with Sasuke’s emotional defenses.

“This is really good, Naruto,” Sasuke said.

The affirmation made Naruto giddy. “Uzumaki power,” he said, somewhat stupidly. “Glad you like it.”

The brief, adoring glance Sasuke gave him warmed up his entire body. All of his concerns melted away as they ate and drank, talking about everything and nothing.

  


He was putting the dishes in the dishwasher when Sasuke surrounded him again. “I’ve been craving you all day,” he murmured into Naruto’s ear. “Do you have any idea how hard it’s been to keep my hands off you?”

Naruto nearly dropped the plates he was holding as Sasuke nibbled on the back of his neck.

“I didn’t want to distract you too much while you were cooking,” Sasuke purred. His words sent little gusts of warm breath over the skin he’d just bitten. “But I really don’t think I can hold back any longer.”

Naruto swallowed and leaned back into Sasuke. He mindlessly dropped the plates into the dishwasher as he let him take over his body.

Warm hands slid under his shirt as Sasuke bit and sucked at his neck. Naruto moaned with Sasuke lightly pinched his nipple.

“You’re so responsive, Naruto,” Sasuke said. “I love that about you.”

“Sasuke,” Naruto murmured.

Sasuke bent him over the counter and raised his shirt to kiss along his sides and his back. Naruto’s trousers became uncomfortably tight as Sasuke’s fingers and lips teased his skin.

Warm hands found his belt buckle and deftly pried it open. Before he knew it, his trousers were pooled at his feet; the air was cool on his bottom as Sasuke wrapped his long, graceful fingers around his cock.

Sasuke knelt. Using his free hand, he spread Naruto’s cheeks apart and licked over his entrance.

“Ng, Sas…” Naruto moaned. His braced his hands on the counter top—his knees had just turned to gel.

Sasuke blew over the flesh he had just wet with his tongue. “You taste so fucking good, Naruto,” he growled. His voice was low and possessive, and, along with the firm hand stroking Naruto so expertly, stirred up a million conflicting instincts within Naruto.

When Sasuke sucked at the flesh around his hole, all of his instincts collapsed into wanton lust. He lost control of his vocalizations and movements when Sasuke penetrated him with his tongue.

A finger pried gently against his tight orifice. Sasuke buried it inside of him before he had anticipated it, and he cursed softly as it sought out his prostate.

“I want to make you come, Naruto,” Sasuke panted. “I want to make you come in my mouth, and then I want to lay you down and fuck you senseless.”

“Oh, God, Sasuke… please…” Naruto begged.

“You’re going to fuck my mouth until I drink you down,” Sasuke whispered. “And you’re going to come again with my cock buried in your ass.”

On a separate plane from his body’s responses, Naruto briefly wondered what had possessed Sasuke to use him so dominantly. It was a thoroughly new experience that he wanted to see through.

Suddenly, the warm, confident hand released his cock; the slender digit withdrew from his ass. Sasuke stood and gripped him by the waist. “To your bedroom, Naruto,” he muttered.

Naruto’s cock throbbed at the sound of his name on Sasuke’s lips. He slipped his feet out of the trousers and shakily walked towards the bedroom. Sasuke prodded him onward, his hand on the small of Naruto’s back.

“A bed, Naruto?” Sasuke asked. “This is a nice surprise.”

Naruto had not even remembered the bed once Sasuke touched him. “Yeah,” he murmured.

Sasuke turned him around so that they were face-to-face. He placed his hands over Naruto’s face and kissed him deeply and passionately. The possessiveness was still there, tempered with tenderness. Naruto clung helplessly to Sasuke’s shoulders as he submitted himself to both.

Sasuke did not withdraw from the kiss as his fingers found the buttons he had not yet undone on Naruto’s shirt. He slipped the garment off of his shoulders and looked him over intently.

“Your body, Naruto,” Sasuke murmured appreciatively. “It’s so… just, fuck.”

Naruto blushed at Sasuke’s words. He gasped when Sasuke ran one long, graceful finger down his neck and over his sternum.

“You’re perfect.” Sasuke could not disguise the catch in his voice or the tumult of emotion in his eyes.

A war began inside of Naruto. Part of him longed to throw Sasuke down and make love to him until he knew how perfect _he_ was; another part wanted to just melt into Sasuke’s desire and do his bidding.

Sasuke advanced upon him again, negating any semblance of choice that he had. His mouth was invaded by Sasuke’s tongue. Sasuke’s hand gripped his cock, smearing his pre-come over the head and shaft as Naruto shook.

Sasuke removed himself from their kiss with a sharp smack. A string of saliva stretched between them, breaking as Sasuke blazed a searing path down Naruto’s body with his tongue.

He wasted no time with teasing. When he dropped to his knees, he gripped Naruto’s ass and took his entire cock into his mouth.

“Aww, fuck, ‘Ske...” he cried out. Sasuke swallowed, and Naruto was aware of his cock touching the back of his throat.

He focused on staying still until Sasuke was comfortable enough to allow him to move again. Soon he felt Sasuke’s hands urging him to thrust forward, and he began to rock slowly. Sasuke’s mouth completely engulfed his member, sucking like it was his last hope of redemption.

Naruto looked down and was rewarded with the sight of Sasuke staring up at him through his dark lashes, his onyx eyes gleaming with lust and his mouth stretched tight around Naruto’s cock.

Naruto cursed and groaned as Sasuke demanded his pleasure. This was not some tentative blow job given by a submissive lover; this was an assault, a relentless demand for Naruto’s pleasure. Sasuke might have been on his knees, but Naruto was at his mercy.

Sasuke roughly pulled him forward, demanding that Naruto use his mouth as he’d instructed him to. Naruto began thrusting wildly, trusting Sasuke to bear it. One hand abandoned his ass and cupped his balls, fondling them in a way that was not exactly gently, but nevertheless pleasurable. Naruto threw his head back and gave himself over to the sensations.

Sasuke hummed with Naruto’s cock buried in his mouth, sending vibrations humming along his skin. The familiar tension began to build, tortuous and giddy at the same time, contradictory in its need to both seek completion and to maintain the stimulation. Naruto screamed out, cursing incoherently as he released himself into Sasuke’s mouth.

Sasuke continued to suck, pulling every last bit of pleasure out of him until he was drained and hyper-stimulated.

Naruto was only vaguely aware of Sasuke pushing him backwards onto the bed. He fell, boneless and mindless, onto the mattress.

Sasuke’s voice came over him, low and commanding. “I’m not done with you yet, Naruto,” he uttered. “Remember? I promised to make you come again with my cock buried in your ass.

Naruto opened his eyes and forced himself to look at Sasuke. There were tear tracks on his cheeks from when Naruto had thrust so hard into his throat; his lips were red and full. He did not take his eyes off of Naruto as he undressed. Despite his very recent orgasm, desire stirred within Naruto anew as Sasuke peeled the clothes off of his pale, toned body.

When he had shed all of his clothing, Sasuke stalked towards him. His eyes were dark and intense as they raked over Naruto’s body. He slid Naruto’s legs apart and lay down against him; their lips came together, and their tongues slid over each other in a slow, sensual dance.

Naruto’s hands drifted over Sasuke’s smooth, muscular back, then over the firm buttocks as Sasuke sucked his tongue gently.

Sasuke teasingly bit Naruto’s lower lip and separated from the kiss. He sucked and bit at his neck and his chest, scattering bold red and purple marks over Naruto’s skin. He took one nipple into his mouth as he tweaked the other, sucking so hard that it was almost painful. Naruto felt his penis becoming erect again under the treatment.

Sasuke descended to his belly and looked up at him from under his bangs. “Have I told you how much I love this mark?” he asked. Naruto could not speak; he was completely transfixed by Sasuke’s voice and eyes. “My demon, my sweet, sunshiny demon,” Sasuke said with a tigerish smile.

He swept his tongue over the ink, then prodded Naruto’s navel with the tip of it. Naruto loved the attention Sasuke gave to this part of his body; his fascination with the tattoo always thrilled him. His hips bucked upwards, seeking more; deviating from his usual routine, though, Sasuke withdrew his tongue.

“Don’t pout,” Sasuke said with a sly chuckle. “Where’s your lube and your condoms?”

“Bathroom drawer,” Naruto huffed. He felt oddly cold and panicky when Sasuke walked away.

Sasuke strode back into the bedroom swiftly. His impressive length jutted out proudly, the head a dusky pink. Naruto bit his lip as the Sasuke walked purposefully back towards him.

Sasuke straddled Naruto on the bed. Their cocks brushed against each other, and Naruto immediately went from semi-erect to fully hard. Sasuke took them both into his fist.

Naruto groaned and gripped the sheets in his hand as Sasuke stroked. The feeling of Sasuke’s cock rubbing against his own was absolutely incomparable. He swiveled his hips, causing his testicles to brush against Sasuke’s.

“Look at me,” Sasuke said hoarsely.

Naruto opened his eyes and met the most intense gaze he had ever seen. Sasuke’s black eyes seemed to bore into him; their depths contained a multitude of emotions that he would likely never be able to voice. Tears sprung into Naruto’s eyes as they undulated against each other, but Sasuke did not allow him to look away. Every time he tried, Sasuke turned his face back towards his.

Sasuke leaned over and picked up a pillow. He raised Naruto’s hips and slid the pillow beneath him, then stood between his legs at the edge of the bed. Without breaking eye contact, he ripped open a condom and slipped it on.

“You’re so warm inside, Naruto,” he said as he spread lube over his erection. “So warm and tight. I’ve been wanting to be inside of you all day.”

Naruto felt unusually exposed, spread out for Sasuke this way. Chills spread over his skin as Sasuke prepared him.

“Do you want me inside of you?” Sasuke asked. For a moment, Naruto could see his uncertainty and fear of rejection.

“Yes, Sasuke,” he answered.

“Say it. Tell me. Tell me what you want,” Sasuke demanded. Once again, Naruto could hear the plea behind the demand.

“I want you inside of me, Sasuke,” he said. He trembled slightly. How could he feel more naked than he had ever felt, when he and Sasuke had already been so intimate with each other?

Something like relief lit up Sasuke’s eyes. He placed himself at Naruto’s entrance and pushed in.

“Go all the way, Sasuke,” Naruto gasped.

Sasuke nodded and thrust into him. There was a sting and a stretch; Naruto was not yet accustomed to being penetrated. The slight pain only increased the appeal. It was a confirmation that Sasuke was inside of him, filling him up.

Sasuke thrust in and out of him slowly. Naruto pulled his head down and kissed him, crushing their bodies together. He moaned and bit Sasuke’s lip when his cock glided between their bellies.

Sasuke began to thrust faster and deeper. There was an elusive pleasure as he brushed haphazardly over Naruto’s prostate.

Feeling Naruto’s tension, Sasuke raised one of his legs and threw it over his shoulder. He leaned forward and angled into him and hit his sweet spot directly.

Naruto’s back arched up off the bed and he cried out. Sasuke thrust into him over and over, increasing his pace.

Naruto’s vision was blurred, his thoughts disconnected. He whimpered and moaned as Sasuke made contact again and again with the sensitive bundle of nerves. He forced himself to look up at Sasuke; his head was thrown back and his jaw slack, his milky skin glistening with a sheen of sweat.

A primitive sort of pride filled his chest as he realized that he had been the only person to ever see Sasuke unabashed in the throes of pleasure. He reached out and cupped his face, drawing his eyes back to his.

“God, I love you,” he whispered.

Sasuke said nothing; he just stared down at Naruto and lunged into him harder.

Pressure built behind Naruto’s eyes. The strength of his building emotions frightened him. He clung to Sasuke, turning his face so that the other man would not see the tears that were threatening to pour out of him.

He shuddered as he felt the coiled tightness in his groin. Sasuke turned his face back towards him.

“Look at me when you come,” he commanded.

Almost immediately, his orgasm erupted. Tears streamed down his face. He was mindless of the words he cried out, unconscious of Sasuke’s skin tearing beneath his nails. All he knew was explosive bliss. And Sasuke kept thrusting, over and over, making him shudder with what felt like another building orgasm.

Sasuke propped one of his legs up on the bed and took both of Naruto’s ankles in his hands. He drove into him deeper than he had before with an almost animalistic fervor. He pushed in violently then rolled his hips, cursing as he chased his own release.

“Na… Naru… Naru… to…” he cried out suddenly. His eyes rolled back and his mouth gaped as he came. Naruto pulled him close and held him; their chests expanded against each other with each ragged breath they took.

Sasuke hesitantly pulled out, still semi-erect, and peeled off the condom. He wrapped it in a tissue beside Naruto’s bed and heaved it into the waste basket.

Naruto rolled over so they could both lie down properly. Sasuke slipped in beside him, but he turned over on his back instead of snuggling into Naruto as he usually did.

Naruto weakly threaded his fingers through Sasuke’s hair. “You okay?” he inquired.

“I should be asking you that question,” Sasuke answered.

“Never better,” Naruto said. “But what about you?”

“I’m fine.”

He did not turn around and look at Naruto. Anxiety knotted up Naruto’s guts. Moments ago, Sasuke had been brimming with emotion and desire. He now looked closed off, and the sadness Naruto had first recognized when they met seemed to hang over him again.

He kissed Sasuke on the cheek and forced himself to stand. He went to the bathroom and quickly washed himself off, then fetched two bottles of water from the kitchen. Sasuke stared blankly out into space when he returned; he hardly seemed conscious of Naruto’s presence at all.

“Hey, drink some water,” Naruto urged. Sasuke took the bottle of water without a word and downed half of it. Naruto placed it back onto the bedside table for him. “Maybe you need an electrolyte drink after that work-out,” he joked.

Sasuke just looked back at him as if he did not quite comprehend what he had said.

Naruto frowned. He placed his hand on Sasuke’s side and bent to look at him more closely. “Sasuke, are you really okay?”

Sasuke blinked, then nodded. “I haven’t been getting much sleep,” he confessed.

“You can sleep here,” Naruto said.

“Maybe,” Sasuke allowed. “I see you got a bed.”

“Yeah, I did! Do you like it?” Naruto asked excitedly. “I wanted you to come over as soon as I got it, but I knew I couldn’t interrupt your work.”

Sasuke smiled dimly. “It’s a comfortable bed.”

Cheered by Sasuke’s response, Naruto slid into bed beside him. “Do you like the sheets?” he asked. “I had a scary saleslady. She was telling me how “delicious” the sheets were and how well they’d work to cool us off after… well, after… you know.”

Sasuke chuckled. “You mean after sex?”

“Yeah!” Naruto exclaimed. “Doesn’t that seem weird to talk to a stranger about?”

Sasuke shook his head and smiled. “At least you escaped with your virtue intact,” he said dryly.

“Barely!” Naruto laughed. “She was awful.”

“Sounds terrifying.”

“She was!”

“Do you want me to beat her up?” Sasuke asked.

“No!” Naruto screamed. His side hurt from laughing so hard.

“Your choice, then. Don’t cry to me if she lurches out of a dark alley and has her way with you one night.”

“You’re so silly,” Naruto said affectionately.

“You say I’m silly, but you don’t know how many men are accosted by oversexed bed saleswomen on a daily basis.”

“Do you?”

“No one does. That’s what makes them so insidious.”

Naruto chuckled as he burrowed into Sasuke’s side. Sasuke loosely draped his arm over him. He went quiet again, and Naruto knew that if he looked at him, his eyes would be fastened on something that only he could see.

Naruto tried not to take it personally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if Sasuke seems out of character or confusing, here. He was confusing to Naruto, also. 
> 
> Natalie is [based on people I have met selling beds] is a fictional character, and any resemblance to people alive or dead is unintentional. 
> 
> What do you think of Ino? I just love her and Sakura together. I think they make the perfect balance. 
> 
>  
> 
> Naruto was very pleased with himself about the pasta dish until he realized that he had forgotten to add the slices of fresh mozzarella that the recipe called for. Sasuke didn’t mind. He liked the tomatoes.
> 
> Coming up in future chapters : the school year begins. Karin and Sasuke dig for clues about Kabuto’s disappearance and the unidentified body Karin mentioned before . Naruto will hear happy news from a friend. 
> 
> As always, thank you so much for reading and for leaving comments or kudos! If you’ve continued reading but haven’t commented, thank you. I appreciate you staying with this story as long as you have. <3 I wish I could convey to all my readers how much you mean to me. I have been rather ill for the past month, and your interaction with my fic has really been a bright spot for me.


	26. Unpacking Itachi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He recognized the red urushi box immediately; it had been in Itachi’s room when they were children, a family relic that their mother had given to Itachi to keep his school supplies and small keepsakes safe from Sasuke’s prying fingers. He had tried many, many times to open it, only to discover that it was locked. He could have laughed, now. Itachi’s locked box was now his to open, and he had no desire to do so at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: reference to suicide.  
> consensual sex between teenagers (not explicit)  
> Themes of death  
> boy/boy (between adults, explicit)
> 
> This chapter tends towards stream-of-consciousness as Sasuke relives old memories.

Sasuke sighed and ran his hands through his hair, then laid his head back on the sofa. His mind had been unable to fix itself upon anything in days. He had slept briefly at Naruto’s, only to come home before dawn so his restlessness would not infect his lover’s sleep. The sun was now shining, attempting to penetrate the window coverings in his apartment.

 

He thought of Naruto, who would just be waking, and something pinched in his chest. He had not wanted to leave him there in his bed. He wanted to lie beside him peacefully, then wake him with kisses and caresses. He would have loved to have made breakfast for him, falling into their routine of swapping affectionate barbs as they cooked and ate.

 

It had been so sweet having Naruto yield to him. The impulse to dominate was unusual for Sasuke. He typically preferred submitting to Naruto. Yet when he had seen him yesterday, so eager for Sasuke’s approval and so warm, a rampant beast had growled inside of him. Naruto had come undone beneath Sasuke’s touches, and his eyes had immersed Sasuke in emotion.

 

He hoped Naruto understood how much he meant, what he represented in Sasuke’s life. Izumi’s appearance had dredged leviathans from the deep for Sasuke. He remembered all too well the cold darkness of those depths and the hideous beings that dwelt there. Naruto’s companionship had been the first light to filter down.

 

Love that felt like a lifeline instead of a dead weight was a novel thing, indeed, in Sasuke’s life.

 

Even thoughts of Naruto could not keep the malaise at bay today, though. Sasuke’s mind was ragged from sleeplessness and frustratingly aimless reflection.

 

He bit his lip as his mind turned over the strange, overlapping “coincidences”: Izumi showing up from nowhere; Karin looking for news about Kabuto, who’d disappeared; the mutilated body in the woods outside of Konoha, the purchase of the old police station by Dawn Kabuto. These could not be unrelated or coincidental.

 

Sasuke had survived most of his life by identifying relevant patterns. What alarmed him the most about all of these things was how obviously connected they were. They shouted for attention. What had he been doing when the smaller phenomena were gathering? Where had his mind been? How had he not noticed?

 

He had not intended to go into the closet where Itachi’s things were stored. He had avoided it studiously ever since he had stowed the package in there. Its gravity was irresistible, though. The more he considered Izumi’s supposedly “random” appearance, the more he considered that she had shown up to relay some sort of message. As little as he liked the idea, perhaps solutions to the puzzle could be found within.

 

His limbs were heavy, but his head was light when he stood. He walked slowly to the closet and reached into the dark corner where he had placed the package, half hoping that he would not find it. His fingers soon bumped against the fabric-clad box, though, and he withdrew it carefully.

 

He carried it back to the sofa and put it down on the table. With deliberate care, he untied the furoshiki and pulled it away.

 

He recognized the red urushi box immediately; it had been in Itachi’s room when they were children, a family relic that their mother had given to Itachi to keep his school supplies and small keepsakes safe from Sasuke’s prying fingers. He had tried many, many times to open it, only to discover that it was locked. He could have laughed, now. Itachi’s locked box was now his to open, and he had no desire to do so at all.

 

He reached into his pocket and withdrew the key Izumi had left with him. He fit it into the tiny keyhole in the ironwork and turned it slowly.

 

There was no click, no perceptible moment of release when he turned the key. His hand shook as he opened the door. There were four shallow drawers within the box. He withdrew the topmost tray. It could have been a grandmother’s jewelry box, he thought, full of brittle, yellowing newspaper clippings.

 

Izumi had been correct; there were dozens of clippings about Sasuke’s accomplishments in the box. He sifted through them, his chest growing warm. Every clipping contained a mention or a photo of him; he was in the fifth grade, winning the academic achievement award for his level. He was 12, wearing hakama and moving through a kata at an iaido demonstration. He was 13, almost 14, and missing— _Ple_ _ase call if you have any information_ …

 

Sasuke hated every photo. He saw himself, pale and full of grief and rage—a weak child on the threshold of making some of his most devastating decisions. People had always told him that he was hard to read, that his expressions were unchanging and enigmatic. He could plainly see, though, all of his youthful confusion and terror in these pictures.

 

He replaced the drawer and withdrew the next. An unmarked CD rested among some folded sheet music. He rifled through the compositions and uncovered an old photograph of Itachi. At first, Sasuke was surprised. Itachi had been notoriously camera-shy as a child, and he had never liked photographs of himself. Their mother had always scolded him for looking dour and stiff in family photos.

 

Yet here he was, on stage; even with the spotlight shining down upon him, his hair seemed to blend into the darkness. He was dressed in a traditional montsuki, the Uchiha crest embroidered on the lapels. He stared out intently into the darkness, his brow furrowed, his chin resting against a fine violin.

 

Sasuke realized, now, why Itachi had bothered keeping this photo. It had not been a remembrance of himself or his accomplishments, but a memento of his beloved violin. Sasuke tugged unconsciously at the collar of his shirt, which had suddenly become far too tight. Itachi had been such a talented musician; it had been one of the things Sasuke loved the most about his brother. Even now, in his thirties, the sound of a violin made his heart jump out of rhythm with several discordant emotions. The photograph shook in his hands as he recalled the last time he had heard Itachi play that violin.

 

 

_Itachi’s violin is a thing of beauty, like Itachi himself. Sasuke can sit and listen to him play for hours. He loves it when he plays after dinner. It’s not just an instrument, it’s not something he plays; it’s a part of his body, an extension of his mind. Sasuke thinks it matches his hair; dark, deep, with strands of warm mahogany woven throughout. So different from Sasuke, with his India-ink locks that stand on end no matter what their mother does._

 

_When Itachi plays the violin—or rather, when he’s speaking with the violin’s voice—he sings wordless songs of longing, devotion, ecstasy, grief, loss, and doom. He summons the heavens and threatens the netherworld. The violin speaks at the prompting of the bow and the graceful touch of Itachi’s fingers. It sighs like a wanton woman—yes, yes, **yes** —it howls like a thunderstorm, it protests like a southward flying goose in autumn, and it weeps like an orphaned child._

 

_Sasuke knows that the violin is magical, just like Itachi. They are magical together. When Itachi plays, everyone smiles, or laughs, or cries. No one plans, or argues, or schemes. They all go far away from Konoha, far from the police department, far from deferred dreams, and they sail on the notes Itachi elicits from the strings._

 

_When Father brings Shisui, their cousin and his protege, home for dinner the first time, Sasuke can tell that he loves Itachi’s violin, too. He is new. His mother fled Konoha years ago, but he is back, now, and his large, bright eyes shine even brighter as Itachi plays after dessert. Sasuke sees everything, but Shisui only sees Itachi. Itachi looks past them all, past Sasuke, and Mother, and Father, and Shisui, out into the world that he is creating with his music. But when he is finished, he is flushed, and Sasuke doesn’t know why, because Itachi always looks happy when he finishes playing. Shisui looks as if he will cry, but that’s strange, because he’s also smiling stupidly._

 

_Itachi will play the violin for any occasion at all. When Sasuke falls sick with a rare fever, when his body aches as if it’s being spread on a rack, Itachi sits quietly beside him and plays low, healing notes that go straight to Sasuke’s body and rally its defenses._

 

_Sasuke doesn’t know when everything changes, but he sees that it does. The violin comes out less frequently. Eventually, Father stops asking for Itachi to play at all. Instead, the adults—including Itachi—go into Father’s study and talk well into the night. Men from the police department, men Sasuke has never liked, come by more and more often. Sasuke is always afraid to go to the restroom or even breathe too loudly when they are all there; the air is thick and electric, and he knows Itachi could dispel the horrible, ominous energy with his violin, but Father never asks him to bring it out anymore._

 

_Itachi is always polite and eager to please, but he, too bears the strains of the times. Fine lines begin to appear around his eyes, making him look much older than thirteen. His smile is different, too. Sasuke, who’s almost 8, couldn’t tell you how it’s different, but he can see that it is. It doesn’t erase the lines or smooth his brow._

 

_Shisui is now the only person who asks Itachi to bring out the violin, and he only does it when Father is away. By now, Sasuke has realized that Shisui understands things about Itachi, like how the violin speaks his happiness into existence and keeps him young. He knows, as Sasuke does, that it is the only thing that makes Itachi a child at all, instead of a weary old man far beyond his years._

 

_When Shisui is gone, the violin sits silently. No one else summons it. Sasuke wants to ask Itachi to play something, anything, but he does not dare._

 

_Sasuke is surprised the day he comes home from school and hears the violin. He skips into the house happily, because he knows this means that he and Itachi are alone, and that Itachi is himself, again. But as he listens, he realizes that the violin is not speaking of happiness. The violin is crying out in the darkness of a horrible, oppressive world, one that Itachi alone can see and speak of on this sunny day. It shrieks, it moans, and it weeps. Itachi, too, is as unsettled as the music; his hair is slipping out from its tie. Strands are plastered to his forehead by the sweat that drips down his furrowed brow. There are tears in his eyes._

 

_Sasuke is completely transfixed, so enraptured that he doesn’t hear Father’s car pull into the drive. Father’s heavy footsteps startle him, and it’s too late to warn Itachi. Sasuke shrinks against the wall._

 

_For the first and last time in Sasuke’s life, he sees Itachi flinch. His father wrenches the instrument from his fine, delicate hands, its last note dying in a discordant screech. Itachi’s eyes widen a fraction. By the time Father has smashed it against the wall the first time, he looks as impassive as ever._

 

_Sasuke knows that it takes a lot of time—sometimes many years—to craft a fine violin. Itachi has told him this. And this violin, he knows, is a fine violin, a gift from Itachi’s teacher, bequeathed to him on the day when he told Itachi that he no longer had anything to teach him and that he must pursue other geniuses to learn from, now. Sasuke doesn’t know how much time it took to craft this violin, which was passed down from father to son until Itachi’s teacher passed it down to him, his spiritual heir; but he sees that it takes only moments—a few, terrible moments—to utterly destroy it._

 

 _By the time Fugaku—because Sasuke no longer wants to call him “Father” today—is finished, the violin lies on the floor, obscene in its brokenness. He tells Itachi that he no longer has the luxury of childish pastimes. He is a man, now, and his family needs him, and there is no time for things like violins that speak worlds into existence. He tells Itachi to clean up the mess. Itachi bows, because Itachi is perfectly polite like that, and says, “Hai, Otou-san.” And Fugaku leaves. Itachi doesn’t cry as he tenderly retrieves the broken pieces of his heart. But Sasuke does, and the image of his father breaking Itachi’s violin, breaking Itachi’s heart,_ breaking Itachi, _will be the most prominent memory he will have of the man for the rest of his life._

 

Sasuke laid the photo back into the drawer, then shoved it back into the urushi box. He swallowed hard before he opened the next drawer. Packets of legal documents were neatly stacked. They held no interest for Sasuke at the moment. He laid them aside as he rummaged. At the bottom of the tray was their last family portrait.

 

An eight-year-old Sasuke stood in front of his mother. Her hands rested gently on his shoulders. Sasuke’s cheeks were bright pink, his eyes large and bright; his smile was shy but wide. His father was characteristically stern, his arms folded in his place beside his wife. Itachi, though, looked absolutely miserable, despite the slight smile. He stood beside his mother, but apart; his face was a study of tension.

 

A weight settled in Sasuke’s gut as he realized that this photo had been taken only two or three weeks before his parents had been killed. Their last family photograph froze the tormented family in time, leaving Sasuke alone innocent of the turmoil blazing around them. Sasuke had the dizzy thought that the photographer had caught them like a star caught just prior to going supernova.

 

He hastily threw everything back into the tray and locked the box up tightly after shoving it inside. It hurt to breathe, and his stomach wrenched. He pulled himself out of the box’s deadly gravity and stumbled to the sink. He felt faint, half alive. He forced down a glass of water and stood until his head cleared.

 

His phone buzzed. He fished it from his pocket and discovered a text from Naruto.

 

_Hey, Sasuke, everything OK?_

 

He smiled ruefully to himself. Naruto must have been concerned: he had not called him “bastard” or “asshole,” yet.

 

 _I’m fine. You were sleeping and I didn’t want to wake you early this morning,_ he texted back.

 

Naruto’s response came back almost instantly.

 

_Shoulda woke me up. :(_

 

Sasuke imagined Naruto’s pout. Naruto’s face was so expressive; watching irritation, contentment, and humor pass over his features was one of Sasuke’s favorite things.

 

He tapped out a reply.

 

_You have to work today. I’ll make it up to you._

 

 _You promise?_ Naruto asked, and Sasuke could imagine him looking at him sideways.

 

The thought of Naruto’s eyes had the blood rushing through his body, again, taking his mind away from the urushi box and its contents.

 

 _Come to lunch,_ he typed.

 

_Really?_

 

_Yes, really. Just text me when you leave so I can shut down the store._

 

 

Naruto apparently lost his language skills after that; his next message was a stream of emoticons and high-five emojis.

 

_:D :D :D <3 <3 _

 

Sasuke rolled his eyes. Naruto was so childlike, wearing his heart on his sleeve like some high-school suitor. Yet once again, his light had pierced right down into the abyssal depths Sasuke had been sinking into. He could never have predicted a phenomenon like Naruto. How had someone so open and guileless penetrated his best defenses, and with such little effort?

 

He pulled himself out of his thoughts and prepared for a long day of work.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

It was becoming harder and harder to concentrate on work. No matter how many people came into the shop, no matter what they requested, Sasuke’s mind went right back to his conundrum.

The sudden appearance of a long-lost Uchiha.

A body with no identifying traits found in the woods near Konoha.

Kabuto’s disappearance after years of compliance with his sentencing.

The old police station being sold to a Dawn Kabuto—Sasuke had been certain that Konoha, entrenched as it was in old superstitions, would never sell that property. He had thought the town would leave it vacant forever.

Sasuke combed his memory for the merest hint of a clue. More and more, he found himself wondering, _What would Itachi do?_

It was no good wondering, he knew. In life, Itachi’s methods had been inscrutable to anyone other than Itachi.

He tried to cleanse his mind of the nagging questions. Still, he found himself biting back snappish remarks in response to innocent customer queries. Of all days to have a rush of business, this was possibly the worst. He scowled every time the door opened or the phone rang.

Sasuke was attempting to discuss Japanese textiles with a lukewarm customer when his phone buzzed.

_Leaving school. I’ll be there in 20._

A rush of heat coursed through his body. He had forgotten that he had told Naruto to come by for lunch. Perhaps some distraction would help his mind apply itself more ably. No one distracted him more completely than Naruto.

He hastily concluded his discussion with the buyer, sending her off with a business card and a promise to show her his most recent acquisitions when he had catalogued them. He turned two shoppers away at the door; their frustrated expressions did not faze him.

He shut off the lights and locked down the till. He was about to lock the door when Naruto barreled into the store, nearly knocking him over.

“Oh, hey, Sasuke, sorry about that! I didn’t...”

Sasuke halted his sentence with a hard, abrupt kiss. Naruto exhaled softly into his mouth. Sasuke bit his lower lip rather violently; Naruto let out a noise halfway between a moan and a whimper of pain. Sasuke licked and sucked the delicate flesh he had just attacked while roughly shoving Naruto towards the back room.

“Umph. Sasuke…” Naruto wheezed as Sasuke gave his lips a brief reprieve.

“Shut,” Sasuke said against Naruto’s neck before biting the tender skin, “up.” He sweetly kissed the abused flesh but gripped Naruto’s ass possessively.

Naruto did not attempt to protest again as Sasuke pushed him up against the wall in the small room he used as an office. He trembled beneath Sasuke’s lips and hands, but he returned the touches just as wantonly.

He gripped the back of Sasuke’s hair and yanked him forward to plunder his lips. Their tongues twisted against each other frantically, each of them trying to dominate the other.

Sasuke jerked away suddenly and tore at Naruto’s fly. He knelt and yanked the khaki trousers down to Naruto’s ankles and roughly spun him around by his hips. He pulled his tight briefs down part way, exposing the firm, tan half-spheres to the air and prying them apart.

He took a moment to appreciate the dusky, puckered ring of Naruto’s entrance before laving it hungrily. His mind was empty except for the driving need for Naruto’s scent and taste. He echoed the first helpless moan of desire that dripped from Naruto’s lips, slurping and tonguing his hole as if he were dying of hunger.

After sucking and licking with abandon, he speared the tight, winking entrance with his tongue. The fabric of Naruto’s briefs was pulled tightly over his straining erection. Sasuke laid his fingers lightly over the taut material, but he did not grip or stroke as he tongue fucked Naruto into oblivion.

When he had eaten his fill, he stood and wiped his mouth. He slipped his hand down the front of Naruto’s underwear and took his swollen, leaking cock into his hand. He breathed over Naruto’s ear then sank his teeth into the lobe.

“Fuck, bastard, what the hell!” Naruto screamed indignantly.

Sasuke squeezed the base of his cock. He knew he was gripping Naruto almost to the point of pain.

“Sasuke...” Naruto ground out, a warning in his tone.

“Fuck me, Naruto,” Sasuke breathed into his ear.

Naruto said nothing. Before Sasuke could goad or command him any further, he whipped around and pressed Sasuke against the wall. His hands roamed over Sasuke’s body ravenously as he thrust his tongue into his mouth.

Sasuke’s breaths came rapidly as Naruto used his body exactly the way he wanted him to. He thrust against Naruto’s hand as he groped Sasuke’s bulging erection.

“Tell me again what you want,” Naruto demanded, his voice rough and growl-like.

“F…fuck me, Naruto,” Sasuke breathed.

“Speak clearly,” Naruto said, gripping his chin and grinding his erection against Sasuke’s.

“Fuck me, please.” Sasuke was aware that his voice was uncommonly high-pitched and breathy. He could not have cared less.

Naruto’s smile unsettled Sasuke briefly, making him weaker and needier. It was feral and lupine; combined with the darkness of his lust-blown eyes, it gave him a dangerous air. He gripped the back of Sasuke’s hair forcefully and leaned in to bite his neck savagely.

“Turn around,” he ordered Sasuke. When Sasuke obeyed, he pressed against his back until he sank to his knees and assumed all-fours. Sasuke heard him digging in his pocket, heard the rattle of foil and the flip of a lid.

He hissed and jumped when something cold oozed between the cleft of his bottom. He processed the sound of Naruto’s heavy-handed swat before the sting of his skin registered in his mind.

“Be still, Sasuke,” Naruto cautioned. Sasuke’s cock throbbed and dripped in response to Naruto’s voice, but he remained motionless.

Naruto rubbed the stinging skin soothingly. “Good. Be good like that, and I’ll give you my cock,” he murmured. Sasuke could hear the desire darkening his voice.

One long finger slipped between the cleft of Sasuke’s cheeks and ghosted over his opening. His muscles contracted in anticipation. The teasing digit slipped inside of him slowly, and he rocked backwards trying to make more contact.

Naruto’s hand clapped over his ass, on the opposite cheek, this time. “Be patient,” Naruto said with a low chuckle. He teased Sasuke with agonizingly long, slow strokes before adding a welcomed second finger and increasing his pace.

Just as Sasuke was getting lost in the sensations, the second finger was withdrawn, and he was once again tormented with long, slow thrusts.

He grit his teeth and clenched his fist in frustration.

“You want something, Sasuke?” Naruto asked, feigning innocence.

“Get on with it,” Sasuke spat.

Another stinging slap set his nerves alight. Naruto bent over his back and bit the nape of his neck. He pulled Sasuke’s hair sharply, forcing his head backwards, and kissed the side of his mouth.

“What do you want, Sasuke?” Naruto whispered into his ear.

“Please fuck me, Naruto,” Sasuke whined.

“You should be this polite all the time, bastard,” Naruto said playfully. “Are you sure that’s what you want?”

“Yes! Now, Naruto, please fuck me, now!”

Naruto released his hair and pulled his finger out. Sasuke heard the condom package being ripped open. More lube was smeared over Sasuke’s entrance, and then the head of Naruto’s dick was poised against him.

Naruto seated himself within Sasuke with one swift thrust. Sasuke breathed in through his teeth as his insides gripped Naruto’s length.

“Gahhh, Sasuke,” Naruto breathed. “You’re so tight.”

Strong hands gripped his hips as Naruto thrust in and out of him forcefully. Sasuke’s head fell forward, and he groaned with the thrills running through his body. Naruto lifted his hips slightly and thrust harder, and Sasuke let out a high, keening wail.

Naruto swore inarticulately as he plunged into Sasuke harder and harder. Sasuke took his erection into his hand. Naruto’s cock brushed against his prostate just precisely so, and with no further stimulation, Sasuke ejaculated forcefully over his fingers.

He gasped and moaned as Naruto’s furious pace continued, his dick still rubbing over Sasuke’s prostate and extracting the most sadistic form of pleasure from his body.

“Sasuke!” Naruto shouted as he found his own release. His grip tightened briefly, then released. He bend and laid his head on Sasuke’s back as he caught his breath. Sasuke could feel the rivulets of sweat from Naruto’s face against his skin. He propped himself up on his elbows and leaned forward, relishing Naruto’s weight against his body.

Naruto slumped over, pulling his weight off of Sasuke. Sasuke rolled onto his back, still half dazed, and watched as Naruto stripped the condom off. He gingerly touched his cheek, and Naruto looked down. Sasuke was shocked at his expression.

“You all right?” he choked out. His throat was dry.

Naruto set his jaw grimly. “I’m the one who should be asking that question.”

“I’m great,” Sasuke rasped.

“I don’t know what came over me, Sasuke. I’m sorry,” Naruto said. His voice trembled.

“Why sorry?”

Naruto sighed. “I shouldn’t have treated you like that. I’ve never… fuck. I’ll never treat you that way again, Sasuke.”

It slowly dawned on Sasuke what he meant. He bit his lip and looked down. “What if I asked you to?” he asked after an uncomfortable silence.

“Is that what you want?” Naruto asked, a note of surprise in his voice.

“Sometimes,” Sasuke said.

“Today?”

Sasuke looked up at Naruto again. “Most definitely today,” he averred.

Naruto leaned into him and kissed him softly.

“I don’t know how to feel,” he began.

Sasuke interrupted him. “Did you like it?”

Naruto swallowed. Sasuke could see the muscles in his throat working. “Yeah. But I don’t think I like that I liked it.”

“If I told you I’d been trying to make you act exactly like that from the moment you walked in, would you still feel that way?” Sasuke asked.

Naruto sighed and kissed his forehead, then stroked his hand lovingly through his hair. “Maybe. I don’t like that there’s a part of me that could just use you that way.”

“Usuratonkachi,” Sasuke muttered as he tapped Naruto’s shoulder. “I was using you, too, then.”

“Can I be gentle with you, now? I can’t… I can’t treat you that way right this minute,” Naruto murmured.

A novel emotion shifted in Sasuke’s chest and a lump formed in his throat. He nodded, and Naruto took him into his arms, surrounding him. A part of him wanted to melt into Naruto until there was nothing left, no thoughts, no mysteries—nothing but this feeling, so elusive throughout his life, of being sheltered and protected.

Another part of him wanted to break away before the emotions swirling through his system forced themselves out in some kind of reaction he wasn’t prepared to have.

Naruto nuzzled into his hair. “I love you, Sasuke,” he whispered hoarsely. “So much.”

Sasuke allowed himself to be held, giving in to the tender kisses. He could not yet form the words, the words Naruto had never pressed for. In the middle of a growing maelstrom of uncertainty, though, at least one thing was a given.

He drifted off into a state somewhere between wakefulness and sleep, soothed by the warmth of the man he loved.

The two hours they spent after rousing fully awake were nothing short of decadent. Naruto had ordered pizza and salad from a nearby gourmet pizzeria. Naruto leaned against the wall, Sasuke positioned between his legs and against his chest, as they ate and laughed. Sasuke had come to love all the little ways Naruto had of expressing his affection—a random kiss to the temple, a smile that Sasuke knew existed only for him, the seemingly endless compliments, the way he ordered extra tomatoes for the salad. He was warmth personified, and Sasuke drank it in.

They made out languorously when they finished eating, sharing one kiss after another along with silly terms of endearments and their tender insults. Sasuke pondered inviting Naruto to sleep over. It occurred to him to wonder what life would be like if Naruto just stayed with him, if he could wake up with him every morning and sleep beside him every night.

Sasuke had never been driven towards cohabitation, before. He tolerated sharing space with others when necessity demanded it, but he never longed for it. During his marriage, it had seemed a long form of torture to live alongside Sakura, with her expectations both explicit and unexpressed filling the spaces between them. He wondered if he would tire of Naruto’s voice or presence if they were to live together; he could not imagine it.

It was easy enough to drift among these thoughts. He did not have to utter them aloud or move towards realizing them. His tired mind floated through pleasant idylls where he and Naruto cooked together every night, argued good-naturedly over the television, and made love until they slept soundly just to wake up and do it all over again day after day.

He made his mind up to invite Naruto over for the night. Just as he made to say the words, however, Naruto jumped up guiltily.

“Shit, Sasuke. I’m sorry to just dart like this, but I have to get Boruto for school shopping. I forgot about it completely,” he said hurriedly.

“No problem,” Sasuke said, carefully masking his disappointment.

Naruto kissed him longingly. “Let’s go out soon.”

“Of course.” Sasuke took his hand as he made his way to the door.

Naruto lifted Sasuke’s hand and kissed the knuckles as they stood at the front of the store. “It was wonderful seeing you, Sasuke,” he said, smiling brightly.

Sasuke smiled back at him. Naruto’s visit had been a welcome and much-needed reprieve for him. He reluctantly let go of Naruto’s hand as he turned to walk out.

“Oh! I’m sorry,” Naruto cried. He had collided with someone as he opened the door of Sasuke’s shop. “Carolyn! Hi!”

Sasuke narrowed his eyes and looked up. “Hello, _Carolyn._ ”

Karin's smile dripped faux sweetness. “Well, hello, there, Naruto!” she cooed. “And hello to you, too… what was your name, again? Yusuke?”

Naruto laughed. “That’s Sasuke. Hey, glad you remembered to take a look at his shop! Bye, Sasuke, bye, Carolyn! I’ll probably see you at the pool sometime soon!”

“Oh, I’m sure you will,” Karin said, looking Naruto over suggestively. “Have a good day, now.”

She turned and smirked at Sasuke. He glared stonily. “We’re closed, _Carolyn,”_ he said snidely.

Karin rolled her eyes and pushed past him into the store.

“I didn’t expect you to roll out the red carpet, but I didn’t expect you to be quite this cunty, either,” she snapped. “What happened to Fishcake’s lip, by the way? He seemed really mellow for someone you’d just beaten up. But then again, maybe he likes that.”

“His name is Naruto,” he said flatly, “and you should get to the point, quickly.”

Karin huffed and crossed her arms. “Fine. I have… _friends_ who work in forensics for state law enforcement. The body that was discovered is still a John Doe, but they’ve proceeded to matching tissue samples for DNA identification.”

Sasuke shrugged. “Wouldn’t they have done that from the beginning?”

Karin frowned. “No. DNA testing is expensive, and they have to have samples to match it with, which makes it even more frustrating. They’re basically testing it against every missing person within a 50-mile radius who might remotely fit the description.”

Sasuke sighed and ran his hands through his hair. “There’s no telling how many missing persons there are in that radius.”

Karin bit her lip and frowned. “The only factors that narrow it down at all is that it’s a male between the ages of 35 and 55.”

Sasuke scoffed. “That’s something, I suppose.”

Karin nodded. “They’ll pretty quickly exhaust that 50 mile radius, and then they’ll expand it outwards by increments. Unless something jumps out at them.”

Sasuke shook his head. “Kabuto...”

“Is still missing,” Karin finished for him. “But no one has really treated his case as a missing person. It’s being regarded as someone who has violated the terms of his parole, but he’s not a violent offender, so allocating resources to locate him is not a top priority.”

“You think that he’s the one that turned up in the woods,” Sasuke stated.

Karin inhaled and closed her eyes. “Yes,” she said, exhaling. “But I can’t really suggest that directly.”

Sasuke understood. To acknowledge that she knew anything about the body or to indicate that she knew about the investigation would implicate her in the crime.

“You don’t believe that Kabuto might have absconded on his own and taken a new identity? This ‘Dawn Kabuto’ who purchased the property, for example?” Sasuke asked.

“No,” Karin answered. Her voice was firm. “Kabuto has never used aliases. He never violated the terms of his parole. Even when we knew him, he was, above all, obedient to his authority figures.”

Sasuke considered the statement and mulled it over.

“Besides,” Karin continued, “what would his motivation be for coming back to Konoha? Or for buying the police department’s old property? It doesn’t make sense. Where would he have even gotten the dough to make such a huge real estate purchase?”

“He could be working for someone else,” Sasuke suggested.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Karin allowed. “It still doesn’t add up. Suigetsu had him surveilled for a while. All he did was go to work and come home, with visits to the pet shop for his snakes and rats once or twice a month. He never visited friends, he never had anyone over to his apartment. The man never even went to a bar for a drink. He spent his vacation days in his apartment with his animals.”

Sasuke grimaced. He had never liked Kabuto, but that seemed to be a very narrow, contracted existence.

“Sasuke,” Karin murmured, “I think this has something to do with you. I don’t think it has anything at all to do with Kabuto, except tangentially, and I don’t think anyone is gunning for any of the rest of Taka. But everything adds up to somebody fucking with you.”

Ice spread through Sasuke’s veins. It was not as if he had not considered this; the purchase of the police department, in particular, had seemed to reference his family. Hearing Karin say it aloud made it more of a reality, though. Once again, his mind turned to Izumi’s random appearance.

“Who could it be, Sasuke?” Karin prodded. “I thought everyone from Akatsuki…”

“Is dead,” Sasuke said heavily. “That’s what I had believed.”

Kisame had run afoul of another gang shortly after Nagato and Konan had disbanded the group. Nagato had died shortly thereafter, with Konan joining him with an overdose. Kakuzu and Hidan both had died in prison, where Sasuke had worked to place them. A bomb blast had left nothing but a few traces of “Madara’s” DNA.

“There was one…” Karin said.

“Deidara,” Sasuke supplied. “He was the only one of the group who was not implicated in any kind of murder. He was a youthful offender, like us. He teaches at the school, now.”

Karin looked at him, aghast. “Why the fuck is that unstable son of a bitch working with children?”

Sasuke shrugged. “He’s kept his nose clean for over a decade, Karin. Believe me, I would know. My daughter takes art from him. Naruto wouldn’t have hired him if he hadn’t been trustworthy.”

“Oh. I see. So, because Fishcake hired him, he’s good in your book. Did you ever consider that he might just be easily swayed by a pretty face?”

Sasuke’s anger flared. “Once again, his name is Naruto, and I knew about Deidara’s work and activities for a long time before I knew anything about Naruto at all.”

Karin smirked. “So you’re okay with him teaching little Salad? Even though he was in the gang that almost got all of us life sentences?”

Sasuke’s ire exploded. “Don’t be ridiculous, Karin. While you were off getting your nursing degree and pretending to be just another oversexed college girl, I was tracking down the Akatsuki and making sure they were neutralized. That pursuit ate up most of my life up until a year ago. You should know, better than anyone, that Deidara’s juvenile records are sealed—with the exception of one charge of aiding extortion. I have monitored that man closely, just as closely as Suigetsu has monitored Kabuto. So don’t make the mistake of insulting either my intelligence or my diligence as a father. And her name’s Sarada, by the way. Use it properly or get the fuck out of my store.”

Karin’s eyes grew large and she smiled. “Wow. I’ve never seen you this way, Sasuke. Fatherhood’s a good look on you. So is being in love.”

Sasuke stared at her silently. She took off her glasses and wiped the lenses on the tail of her shirt distractedly. “What are you going to do, Sasuke?” she asked finally.

Sasuke shook his head. “Absolutely nothing, until I have more details.”

“I’m not leaving,” she stated. “I’m not leaving Konoha until I’m certain that you’re okay.”

“You don’t have to do that, Karin. Don’t borrow my problems.”

She laughed harshly. “You dumb fuck. You should know by now that the things we went through together mean something. Suigetsu and I aren’t going to let you deal with this on your own, so give up on that idea right now. Suigetsu’s working on this, too, you know.”

“You shouldn’t. You should go back to Seattle and let me handle this,” Sasuke intoned.

Karin punched his shoulder. “Nope. Not happening. You’re stuck with us. Don’t worry, I’ll keep a low profile.”

“Tch. You? Low profile?”

“Yeah, fucker, low profile. As in, I won’t be telling Fishcake—who looks amazing in swim trunks, I have to say—that we used to be in a gang together. I won’t be gushing with him over the fact that he and I are likely cousins, given our uncommon last name. I’m just Carolyn Ray, a lowly nurse at Leaf General. I do steer clear of Sakura, by the way. She’s quite the legend at Leaf,” Karin said with a smile.

Sasuke did not know what to say. He had not seen Karin or Suigetsu in years, and he had not been pleased when she had turned up in Konoha. A sort of nostalgia grew within him, though, as he listened at her and took in her earnest expression. She, Suigetsu, and Jugo had been faithful to him during his darkest days, and now, she had once again affirmed that Sasuke had someone on his side.

The knowledge warmed him, surprisingly. He could not confide in Kurenai, Sakura, or Naruto. Jugo deserved to live his life in peace, so Sasuke had not told him any of the news Karin had brought him. Knowing that someone understood the magnitude of threat implied by the strange coincidences in Konoha made him feel just a bit lighter.

“And by the way, asshole, I wasn’t some “oversexed” slut. Just because I was a poorly adjusted kid with boundary issues when we were teenagers doesn’t mean that I was out riding every dick in town,” Karin said. Her voice was harsh and strident, but her expression was warm.

“Whatever,” Sasuke droned. “Tell it to yourself, if it makes you feel better. I never used the word ‘slut,’ for the record, but waxing poetic about Naruto’s swim trunks doesn’t really help your case.”

Karin scowled at him and punched him again, then hugged him tightly. “Salty son of a bitch,” she said fondly. “Don’t ever change.”

She pulled away quickly and slid her glasses up her nose. “I’ll find you if I hear anything more. I’d appreciate if you did the same.”

Sasuke nodded curtly. Karin turned around and walked out. He watched until she disappeared around the corner. He closed up the shop and made his way home.

 

Sasuke toed off his shoes at the front door and made a beeline for the kitchen. He took a bottle of Shiraz from a lower cabinet, then pulled out a corkscrew and a glass. He opened the wine carefully, then poured himself a glassful. He took the bottle and the glass and set them on the table beside the urushi box.

He rummaged through a credenza until he located his last laptop. With a little luck, it would work for his purposes. He set it on the table. It was loud and slow as it powered up; he could smell the ozone and burning dust as the processor came to life. He pressed the button on the side, and the CD reader popped out. He placed Itachi’s CD in it and slid it back in, then took a sip of his wine.

 

The tired machine groaned and clicked as it attempted to read the data. Just when Sasuke had given up, he heard the beginnings of music. He tilted his head back and closed his eyes. He could not recognize the piece, but he could recognize the imprimatur of the composer—Paganini, one of Itachi’s favorites. Itachi had once told Sasuke how Paganini played with such passion that many thought he was possessed by Satan.

 

The music had a hint of madness about it, but it was also cunningly precise. Itachi had tormented himself for years trying to perfect Paganini on his own violin. Sasuke could see him clearly in his mind: his focused scowl, the perspiration on his forehead, the errant strands of hair standing out around his face.

 

He smiled. Itachi’s playing had never sounded less than perfect to him, although Itachi always seemed to fall short of his own standards. Sasuke would have given anything to hear his brother play again.

 

There had been no violin amongst his things in the brothel where he died, a fact that wounded Sasuke’s heart. Itachi could never have really been Itachi without his music.

 

Sasuke’s mind wandered as he listened to Paganini’s mad, methodical genius speak through his music. He had not thought of the composer for years; he had been one of Sasuke’s favorites as a child, if for no other reason than for the fact that he associated his music with Itachi.

 

The wine and the music began to soften the jagged edges of his emotions. He allowed himself to be lulled by the alcoholic glow in his chest and drifted along with the playfully complex chords. He finished his glass of wine and kept his eyes closed when the piece concluded, nearly falling asleep.

 

He jumped at the discordant screech that came next. He made a face as he recognized the piece: _Danse Macabre_ by Saint-Saens. He remembered riding for hours to watch Itachi perform this with an orchestra; at 12, Itachi was the youngest performer on stage. Sasuke had hated this piece. He would clap his hands over his ears and run as far from the music as he could when Itachi had practiced it at home.

 

Yet on stage that night, Itachi’s violin had once again spoken fluently of subjects Sasuke could only guess at. The infernal screech gave way to flirtation; the devil became a coquette, then a sadist. Itachi’s violin conjured they dead. They jumped at his command and danced invisibly around the stage; Sasuke could almost feel them swirling around him, making the hairs on his arms and neck stand on end.

 

The entire orchestra performed flawlessly, but Itachi had clearly been its center of gravity for that piece. Sasuke imagined, as he watched his brother play, that Itachi could command the dead just as ably as any devil. He looked otherworldly, possessed.

 

When the music stopped, the conductor had called Itachi forward and acknowledged him in particular. He was no longer the commander of the dead. He blushed and looked around shyly and smiled, and once again, he was Sasuke’s nii-san.

 

Sasuke had told him, as he and Itachi stretched out in their hotel room, that the music frightened him. Itachi had explained the concept of the danse macabre to him, how some believed that Christian devil came up from hell every Halloween at midnight to play his fiddle and make the dead dance. Sasuke felt incredibly sorry for the dead; he was sure that they must want to rest and enjoy their afterlife. How rude to be awakened and commanded to perform.

 

Itachi had explained to him that it was supposed to unsettle people, to remind the great and the mighty that they would die just as surely as the poor and the lowly.

 

Sasuke had asked him why the poor and the lowly would want Satan to wake them up from their eternal rest just to make them dance with the same jerks who’d lorded their wealth over them all their living years. Itachi had laughed, genuinely laughed, and hugged him close.

 

All these years later, Sasuke still found the idea unfair. He had no belief in an afterlife; if there was any benefit in death, it was the freedom it brought from life’s tormentors.

 

His mind turned to Itachi’s last days. He had been gaunt and wasted, and even in his final delirium, he had found no rest.

 

“Oka-san! Otou-san! Please forgive me! Please!” he had called out in his feeble, wheezing voice.

 

Sasuke pressed the heel of his palm hard against his forehead as the movie-reel of memory played behind his eyes.

 

Itachi’s eyes had opened one final time after his seemingly terminal restlessness had abated. They had stared out at Sasuke blindly. “Sasuke,” he had breathed. Sasuke had felt Itachi’s last breath against his face. He lay still and silent beside his brother, waiting for him to take another breath, waiting for him to finish his sentence or blink.

 

A hand had laid softly on his shoulder. “He’s gone, kid,” a voice had whispered. “It’s done.”

 

Sasuke opened his eyes and looked around him. He was in Konoha in his apartment—not some otherworldly brothel in the middle of a desert. Yet somewhere deep within himself, he howled in grief and rage like a lost child of 16. The scars felt raw and new once again.

 

He poured himself another glass of wine. The music played on as he drank; some of the pieces he recognized, some he did not. All were demanding classical pieces composed to showcase the violin. His mind wandered aimlessly through memories of his older brother.

 

_Nii-san, what’s an arigato violin?_

 

_Huh?_

 

_The man said that this song has an arigato violin in it. What does that mean? Is it a song to say thank you?_

 

_Gentle laughter, a low rumble emanating from changing vocal chords._

 

 _Not arigato, otouto,_ obbligato _. It means that the piece was meant to have a violin play in it. No other instrument must play the violin’s part._

 

_Is that why everybody wants you to play? Is it because your violin is ob… ob… obrogado?_

 

_Another soft laugh._

 

Obbligato _. It doesn’t mean my violin in particular. It could be any violin._

 

_But your violin is the best._

 

_Only to you, otouto._

 

_Shisui says it too!_

 

_Long fingers catch a strand of baby-fine hair and twirl it tenderly._

 

_You and Shisui haven’t heard enough from other violins._

 

_A sharp tap against Sasuke’s forehead signals the end of the conversation._

 

 

Sasuke came awake with a sharp intake of breath. His nerves tingled, as if he could still feel the insult of Itachi’s trademark dismissal on his forehead.

 

“Still keeping me at a distance, even after all these years,” Sasuke muttered.

 

The CD was no longer playing classical. A guitar now softly played. Sasuke remembered the song grimly. Its lyrics had drifted from beyond Itachi’s closed door on repeat after Shisui had died.

 

_Wish I knew what you were searching for_

_Might’ve known what you would find_

 

_And it’s something quite peculiar_

_Something shimmering and white_

_Leads you here despite your destination_

_Under the Milky Way tonight._

 

The words dug under Sasuke’s skin like needles. Itachi never smiled after Shisui was gone, not really. Sasuke understood his sadness, but he had begun to see a new emotion in his brother’s eyes in those days. Itachi’s eyes had frightened him.

 

Losing Shisui so suddenly and unexpectedly had shaken the entire Uchiha family. Itachi, though, had been devastated, like a sacked city. His eyes stared out like blackened windows, their light extinguished.

 

Shisui and Itachi had been close, so very close, that Sasuke had feared that Itachi might follow him. A world without Shisui and Itachi both had seemed impossible to him. He had burst into their lives unexpectedly, a lively, cheerful spirit in the midst of the dour Uchihas. Just as quickly as he had arrived, he had become vital to all of them. Sasuke could still recall every encounter with Shisui with crystal clarity, especially the first night he had come into their home. Sasuke had known, even then, that nothing would ever be the same again, and he had resented Shisui mightily for that.

 

_Shisui is impossible. His eyes are impossibly large. His hair is impossibly curly, his grin impossibly wide. And, it’s impossible to not smile around Shisui, whether Sasuke wants to or not. Mother’s eyes crinkle and she smiles brightly when Shisui is around. Even Father’s lips quirk upwards when Shisui talks; he is overflowing with talent, ideas, and compliments._

 

_Shisui is entranced with Itachi, and their mutual genius draws them together inexorably; they rotate around each other, two planets caught in each other’s gravity. And because Itachi is drawn to Shisui, and Sasuke is drawn by Itachi, Sasuke is inevitably is drawn into Shisui’s orbit, as well._

 

_He resents this, of course. As likable as Shisui is, he is an intruder, a competitor for his older brother’s attentions. Yet even Sasuke is helpless in the face of Shisui’s impossible charm. Shisui makes room for Sasuke when he tags along behind the two older boys; he swings him upwards, allowing him to perch upon his shoulders as they walk._

 

“ _What do you think, Sasuke?” he asks. “Do you think Itachi needs to have more fun?”_

 

_Sasuke emphatically nods. Because Shisui coaxes the smiles out of Itachi, coaxes the carefully-disguised tension from his eyes. Only with Shisui and Sasuke does Itachi ever stop watching, listening, analyzing, drawing conclusions. Between the two of them, Sasuke reaches something nearing satiety for the first time in his memory; space is made for him. He isn’t in the way, his bids for attention are met with warmth. He asks, he receives. He feels loved and welcomed, even as he resents the power Shisui and Shisui alone has over his precious Nii-san._

 

_Sasuke makes up stories for them on these days. Sometimes, the three of them find a boat abandoned on the beach and sail to a mysterious island far away, full of ravens and crows for Itachi to feed. Other times, they soar away on the wings of a giant blackbird to a mountain paradise. In all of Sasuke’s stories, the three of them live quite happily and self-sufficiently. No one bothers to tell them that they’ve played too much or that they aren’t being serious enough. Shisui always grins at Sasuke’s stories; Itachi smiles his sweet, mild smile that no one other than Sasuke and Shisui ever sees._

 

_When Sasuke is five, he emphatically tells the pair that he is going to marry Itachi. Schoolyard weddings are all the rage in kindergarten; when he is told that he has to marry someone, he tells the insistent child that he has already proposed to his Nii-san. Shisui laughs at this, to Sasuke’s fury._

 

“ _You can’t marry Itachi, Sasuke. Because I’m going to marry him.”_

 

_Sasuke fumes. Itachi blushes._

 

“ _You can be the best man, though,” Shisui tells him, and he ruffles Sasuke’s hair._

 

_Sasuke stomps his foot and informs him that he loved Itachi first, and that he loves him more._

 

_Shisui smiles at him and picks him up. “We love Itachi very much, don’t we, Sasuke?”_

 

_Sasuke pouts, but he doesn’t contest Shisui’s point._

 

“ _We have to take good care of him, because we love him so much, don’t we, hm?” Sasuke nods reluctantly._

 

“ _You know, Itachi has exactly two hands. One for you, and one for me,” Shisui says. “Two arms, so he can hug us both. Isn’t that right, Itachi?”_

 

_Itachi’s face is now so vividly red that he looks feverish. He nods shyly. When Itachi embraces the two of them, although he would not admit it, Sasuke feels safe. Pressed between his brother and the cousin he grudgingly accepts, the world is as it should be. Shisui will take care of Itachi and will take care of Sasuke, too._

 

_When Sasuke is eight, he comes home early, happy because after school care is closed for a holiday. Mother and Father aren’t home. Sasuke creeps through the house stealthily, the way Itachi has taught him. He will be impressed when Sasuke manages to sneak up on him. He never has been able to before._

 

_Itachi’s bedroom door is closed. Sasuke knows how to open it, though, without making discernible noise. He has been practicing, after all. But it isn’t Itachi who is surprised today._

 

_For the first time in his life, he has caught Itachi unawares._

 

_He and Shisui sit in the middle of Itachi’s unmade bed, completely naked. Itachi’s legs are wrapped around the older boy’s waist, and his long, beautiful hair streams over his back. His head is thrown back, his face contorted in some sort of half-religious ecstasy. Shisui kisses his graceful neck and clings to Itachi’s slender hips._

 

 _Sasuke can’t move. Can’t breathe. It hurts to look at the couple on the bed, but he can’t_ stop _looking. His mind tallies their similarities and their differences; Itachi’s long, straight, silken hair, Shisui’s wild, tumultuous curls. Itachi’s slender, graceful lines, Shisui’s bulky musculature. They are colored similarly. Same black hair, although Shisui’s is a riot of curls where Itachi’s is like a silk remnant; same pale skin, although Itachi’s is so obviously soft, so flawless, where Shisui has a history written in scars, has lines where the sun has touched parts of him._

 

“ _Itachi...” Shisui murmurs, and it’s like a chant, a spell. “Itachi, Itachi, Itachi...”_

 

_Itachi moans softly. They kiss as their bodies undulate, and Sasuke wants to scream at them, wants to tell Shisui to stop, but he can’t scream, he can’t breathe. Tears gather in his eyes. He is torn between fascination, shame, and horrible, corrosive jealousy._

 

_Itachi will never look like that, like a saint in the throes of a holy revelation, for anyone other than Shisui; Sasuke knows this deep in his heart. He wants to rip them apart, but he also wants to be in the middle of them, wants them to share this mystery they are withholding from him. It seems dirty, wrong, compelling, and beautiful all at once, and the confusion it engenders within him enrages Sasuke._

 

_As his legs begin to work, he backs away. There is a new emotion warring with the fascination and the bizarrely fierce jealousy, something even more confusing. He closes Itachi’s door silently, but he cannot close off the image seared into his brain; the image of the person he loves above all others caught up in these esoteric rites is branded against his eyelids._

 

_Sasuke begins to perceive that he is all alone in the world. Itachi is made for Shisui, and Shisui for Itachi, and no one will ever belong to Sasuke the way that those two belong to each other._

 

 

Sasuke chased the memory away with a third glass of wine. He had not known, when he stumbled upon his brother in Shisui’s arms, that the seed of his warped desire for Itachi was waiting within the soil of his psyche. He bitterly recalled the shame he had felt a few years later, when he had awakened from his first erotic dream to realize that it had not been curves and rounded breasts that had teased his first ejaculation from him; it had been gracile lines and long, silken hair and finely-boned hands.

 

It still hurt to remember. He set his wine glass down and withdrew the last tray from the urushi box. He felt as if he were defiling two graves with his queries. He knew before turning the contents out onto the table what he would find in this compartment. The dead slumbered, he reminded himself, but he was alive and needed answers.

 

He thumbed through a stack of photos, all of them featuring Shisui. One of them had been taken the same night that the one of Itachi with his violin had been. Itachi was in this one, too, in profile. He stared intently at Shisui, his mouth turned upwards in what Sasuke recognized as his fake smile. Part of the photo had been torn off, but in what remained, Shisui gazed at Itachi with obvious reverence. Both boys’ cheeks were stained pink. Shisui’s eyes glowed, even on the photo paper. Sasuke realized that he was looking at the beginning of Shisui’s and Itachi’s romance.

 

In another photo, Sasuke found himself at age six, perched on Shisui’s shoulders eating a tomato as if it were an apple as Shisui gazed up at him with an indulgent grin. With a rush of affection, Sasuke recalled the day that Itachi had taken that photo. The three of them had gone to Seattle for one of Itachi’s aikido tournaments. Their parents had been unable to attend; the tournament had conflicted with a fundraiser for the police department.

 

After the tournament, Shisui had walked with them through the farmer’s market, promising Sasuke anything he wanted. Itachi had been deliriously happy to discover a wagashi stand, and Shisui had been deliriously happy to buy him all the dango he could eat. Sasuke had spurned the sweets, although Shisui had plied him with every confection he could think of. Sasuke’s eyes had lit up when he had seen the plump tomatoes. Shisui had purchased several, and Sasuke ate so many that a rash formed around his mouth. His mother had scolded Itachi and Shisui roundly for irresponsibly indulging him when they come home.

 

He had not realized at that time that Shisui and Itachi were children, too.

 

Other pictures caught Shisui hanging upside down by his legs from a tree branch, practicing archery, or laughing hysterically. In one, he sat on a stony outcropping overlooking the Pacific. He stared intently into the camera. Sasuke wondered if Itachi had made him pose for this one. The young man in the photo was no older than 16. Sasuke could see, now, how the last vestiges of baby fat clung to his face. He had always looked upon Shisui as a grown man; seeing just how young he had really been unnerved him.

 

Sasuke carefully placed the photos back into the tray in a neat stack. He picked up the stack of letters. He pulled the first one up and looked it over. The handwriting was thin and slanted; it struck Sasuke as precise, but impatient, as if the letters were straining to say more.

 

_Itachi,_

 

_You know my feelings about you working for Danzou. I’m not sure what your father is playing at, agreeing to send you to work for such a blatantly scummy piece of shit, but you need to keep your wits about you. Danzou has certain “preferences” that you meet just perfectly. Smart, beautiful, **young**. _

 

_Don’t allow yourself, ever, to be alone with him, Itachi. I’ll look after you as best I can, but he is sneaky and he is sick. Whatever information your father is asking you to gather, gather your own and keep it close to your vest. Pay attention to who comes and goes out of his office. Keep a record of it._

 

_It’s a well-kept secret that he hires bright young men from the high schools as “interns,” and while he likes to boast of the careers he’s made and the minds he’s molded, he’s destroyed just as many. It’s also a well-known secret that he hires boys from the group homes and the delinquency program and uses them, as well. Trust no one in his employ._

 

_Take this, especially, to heart; do not speak with him at length about anything. Answer his questions with more questions. Don’t allow him to pour his dark thoughts into your ear, please. I hate to say any of these things to you, but it’s my job as your friend._

 

_Lastly, if Danzou in any way hurts, threatens, or compromises you, promise that you’ll come to me. I will make it end. Trust me._

 

_Yours,_

_Shisui_

 

Sasuke’s blood boiled in his veins. After all these years, Danzou’s name stoked his fury in ways that nothing else ever would. He remembered Danzou hanging over Itachi at the town festivals and concerts, his malignant presence poisoning the air around him. Itachi was far too young, genius or no, to have been sent into that man’s lair, and Sasuke had never forgiven Fugaku. When Shisui was no longer there to protect him, Danzou had stolen what was left of Itachi’s innocence and optimism for his life. It had never returned.

 

Sasuke’s hand shook as he refolded the letter and put it aside. The age-old yearning for violence made him shudder. He breathed slowly, willing the hunger for destruction away. He picked up the next letter. It had been folded and refolded several times, Sasuke could tell.

 

The same slanted handwriting scrawled across the page, its exuberance now unconstrained. Little drawings of black birds in flight and standing on the ground filled the margins.

 

  _My Little Raven,_

_When did it happen, that my serious little bird became a man? How did it happen that I won that man’s love?_

 

_I can’t stop thinking about you today. The sound of you calling my name. The way your hair feels spread over my chest. The way your spine is so straight and perfect, and your lips… I could go on forever about your lips._

 

_I couldn’t believe it when you showed up at my apartment last night, out unusually late and angry about Miss Shamisen Player. (And why did you come through the window? You could have just knocked, dork). I know, now, that you watched me all night. I wonder if you know how closely I watched you? I may have been on Miss Shamisen’s arm, but you were in my eye. I wanted to smash the face of every man and woman that leered at you (there were many. Too many)._

 

_I feel so guilty, Itachi. I know you are young. You’re too young for me to feel this way about you. But you’ve had so much of the adult world put on your shoulders already. How could I tell you you’re not ready for this kind of relationship when everyone else seems to think you’re ready to be a spy and a weapon?_

 

_Play me. I’ll be your instrument. In your hands, I feel I could be beautiful, Itachi. Do you know how long I’ve wanted to tell you I love you? Do you know how long I have wanted to hold you the way I held you last night?_

 

_Everything about you is perfect. You’ve always been the one for me. I still can’t believe you feel the same way about me. I don’t deserve it. But I’m so grateful for it. I wish I could sweep you away and make love to you forever, bird. I would make you a paradise if I could. I would build you a beautiful glass house in the middle of a forest so you could be surrounded by nature all night and all day. Do you remember the stories Sasuke used to make up? That’s the kind of world I would build for you._

 

_Be sweet, little bird. Until next time… kisses, so many kisses, for your lips, your hands, your chest, your eyes. I love you. I love you. I love you._

_Shisui_

 

_I had to say it one more time: I love you. Yeah, I’m a dork, too. I hope you find it winsome. That’s a good word for me, Itachi. Not stupid, or goofy. Definitely not dorky. Definitely winsome. :)_

 

 

Sasuke smiled bitterly. The letter was filled with joy and wonder. Neither Itachi nor Shisui could have known how quickly their innocent desire would transform into terror and wracking grief.

 

His eyes burned as the next song came on.

 

 _Oh, to see without my eyes_  
_The first time that you kissed me_  
_Boundless by the time I cried_  
_I built your walls around me_  
_White noise, what an awful sound_  
_Fumbling by Rogue River_  
_Feel my feet above the ground_  
_Hand of God, deliver me…_

 

Notes and scraps of notes abounded. Many, Sasuke was certain, had been encoded. Others, though, were as open and sunny as those passed between any other teenage couple. Doodles and sketches of Itachi, usually with a crow on his shoulder or lighting upon his hand, filled margins. He was grateful that Itachi had had this time to simply be a teenage boy in love, however brief it had been. He had been denied so much.

 

 _Oh, oh woe-oh-woah is me_  
_The first time that you touched me_  
_Oh, will wonders ever cease?_  
_Blessed be the mystery of love_

 

Another photograph slipped out from the folds of the last letter. A solitary rock, carved out of the bluffs by the churning Pacific tides, dominated the frame. Sasuke understood its significance far too well. He realized that Itachi must have taken the photo at some point after Shisui’s death. He wondered what kinds of thoughts had gone through Itachi’s usually well-ordered mind as he stood in the place Shisui had last stood. He wondered if he had considered stretching over the precipice himself, as Shisui had done, leaving nothing behind but the memory of who he had been.

 

His hands trembled again as he opened the letter. He did not want to read it, but he was still fumbling blindly with the puzzle that had been presented to him. The handwriting was virtually unrecognizable. The letters scrawled chaotically across the page. The ink was smeared in many places. Rust-red stains dotted the margins. Sasuke shivered as he read.

 

 _Little_ _Bird_ _,_

 

_I didn’t want to do this. Please believe me. I would never leave you if I didn’t have to._

 

_My death will be on my terms and the Pacific’s. No one can harm you in order to break me. I’m already broken by my own choice. And I’m far away from the schemes and the games, for the first time since I became a man._

 

_If there’s anything at all after this life, I hope it’s a world where we can live together the way I dreamed, where we are free of your father, from Danzou, from Goddamned Konoha, far from the stratagems and the costly, meaningless games played by fools._

 

_In that world, my love is enough to protect your sensitivity and your beauty. Your fine, beautiful hands would exist for nothing but to create music and to be held within mine. Sasuke, too, would be safe, the way you’ve always wanted. So many times I imagined the three of us as a family. I would love him like a son and cherish him. He and I would fight over who loved you the most until you kissed us both and told us there was enough love in your heart for both of us. No one would ever again force you into crass loyalties. Your violin would play the most beautiful music in our home. We would never utter the name of our town or clan again._

 

_And at night, I’d make love to you gently and I’d never stop kissing your soft lips. I can’t believe how lucky I was to have held you. Even if we didn’t get enough time together, it’s enough to make me dream of heaven. I know that if there is such a thing, you’re there, safe and perfect and beautiful._

 

_How do I leave you, Itachi? How do I say goodbye to the one pure, sweet thing in my life?_

 

_I told you to trust me. I told you I’d take care of you. I’ve failed. Worse than failing, I endanger you by just existing._

 

_Please forgive me. I thought I could keep you safe. But I’m dangerous to you alive. Danzo has already sent his gang for me in order to lure you out. I can’t allow that._

 

_Please protect yourself and Sasuke. Keep your wits. Watch everyone. Trust no one. Store every bit of information away that you can. I love you. I love you. Just, survive. Please survive. I’m praying to all the gods I never believed in for you to be safe._

 

_Yours always,_

_Shisui_

 

Sasuke wiped tears from his eyes. He suddenly wished that Itachi had called for Shisui at the end. He wished he could believe in an afterlife where Shisui would have welcomed Itachi in. He wished that Itachi had even had an illusion of such a world as the real world faded out.

 

As Shisui had willed, Itachi had survived, but to what end? He had kept Sasuke alive, eating up what was left of his life in the process, calling out to him with his final breath.

 

 _How much sorrow can I take?_  
_Blackbird on my shoulder_  
_And what difference does it make_  
_When this love is over?_  
_Shall I sleep within your bed_  
_River of unhappiness_  
_Hold your hands upon my head_  
_'Til I breathe my last breath_

 

Sasuke wept silently. He was no closer to unraveling the mysteries that had been dropped on his doorstep, but he knew, at last, what Itachi would do in his situation. He had been foolish not to see it before. Itachi had sacrificed his own integrity, his own safety, so that Sasuke could live and escape the machinations of both the town and the family. He could not squander that sacrifice by living selfishly anymore. For the first time in years, he cried until he slept.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took me so long to get this chapter up. It was painful to write, for one thing; for another, I have been sick and have not always had the presence of mind to write. And lastly, a tragedy in my family delayed my interaction with the story for a few days. I finally turned back to the story to vent some of my grief and frustration. 
> 
> I hope this chapter makes sense. If you see grammatical errors, you're welcome to point them out. At many times while trying to write/edit, I was working with low oxygen levels and struggling to remember basic spellings. I expect that I will be going back and editing this chapter more thoroughly, but I wanted to put it up, now, so that the story could keep progressing.
> 
> I realize that Itachi and Shisui are both very young in this story. But this is a story, in large part, about a family that had become warped by their self-imposed isolation and the effects that this had on their children, including Shisui, Itachi, and Sasuke (speaking of the Uchihas as an extended family, not just Sasuke and Itachi's nuclear family). 
> 
> I know, I know, I know that Sufjan Stevens just released "Mystery of Love" last year, and therefore Itachi could not have had it on his playlist, but we are going to pretend that Itachi was just that cool that he had access to an earlier recording years ago. I'm sorry. I don't normally do things like that, but it caught the grief that I felt about Shisui's suicide and Itachi's feelings of loss. The imagery of the river and the blackbird very much spoke of these two for me. 
> 
> If you want to listen to the playlist for this chapter: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLfJrAYPVcTn_2Hd2_44tQTHKN9SAbnt1a
> 
> This story has an angst tag for a reason, and the angst is going to accelerate from this point on. I will save the day, I promise, but crap's gonna get grim. 
> 
> I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for reading this story, leaving kudos, and making comments. It is truly a pleasure to hear your thoughts. Even if you have something less than glowing to say, I am grateful to you for interacting. I hope this chapter wasn't too confusing. 
> 
> The chapter title comes from a comment that Katie Madison made on a previous chapter; I had already envisioned the urushi box, and the thought of "unpacking Itachi" seemed so perfect. :) 
> 
> Thanks so much to authorindented and TheRedRobin for encouragement about this chapter. I really appreciated it and needed it.


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